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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,0 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:00:05,0 --> 00:00:08,074 Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET 3 00:00:49,727 --> 00:00:51,922 I am not a bum. 4 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,600 I'm a jerk. 5 00:00:56,887 --> 00:00:59,003 I once had wealth... 6 00:01:00,7 --> 00:01:01,406 ...power... 7 00:01:01,967 --> 00:01:04,925 ...and the love of a beautiful woman. 8 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,316 Now l only have two things... 9 00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,525 ...my friends... 10 00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:14,636 ...and... 11 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,519 ...my thermos. 12 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,725 My story? 13 00:01:41,647 --> 00:01:43,000 Okay. 14 00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:49,198 It was never easy for me. 15 00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:53,562 I was born a poor black child. 16 00:01:55,127 --> 00:01:57,277 I remember the days... 17 00:01:57,527 --> 00:02:00,405 ...sitting on the porch with my family... 18 00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:02,000 ...singing and dancing... 19 00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:04,604 ...down in Mississippi. 20 00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:13,716 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 21 00:02:13,887 --> 00:02:15,957 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 22 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,203 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 23 00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:20,318 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 24 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,921 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 25 00:02:23,7 --> 00:02:25,282 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 26 00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:27,483 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 27 00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,922 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 28 00:02:30,7 --> 00:02:32,077 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 29 00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:34,397 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 30 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,637 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 31 00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:38,877 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 32 00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:41,356 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 33 00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:43,358 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 34 00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,722 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 35 00:02:45,887 --> 00:02:48,037 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 36 00:02:48,327 --> 00:02:50,477 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale of cotton 37 00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,717 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale a day 38 00:02:52,807 --> 00:02:54,923 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale of cotton 39 00:02:55,7 --> 00:02:57,123 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 40 00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:59,516 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale of cotton 41 00:02:59,607 --> 00:03:01,757 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale a day 42 00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:04,156 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 43 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:06,283 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day" 44 00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,278 Boy, l hope everybody's good and hungry. 45 00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:10,961 -I know l am. -And l'm ready for that. 46 00:03:11,47 --> 00:03:12,526 Here's corn bread. 47 00:03:13,287 --> 00:03:16,484 Collard greens. And l cooked up those hog maws you like. 48 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:19,001 Mother, dear, ain't we forgetting something? 49 00:03:20,7 --> 00:03:23,795 No, l'm not. Today is Navin's birthday. 50 00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:27,000 Happy birthday!. 51 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:28,720 It's Navin's birthday!. 52 00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,719 And l cooked you up your favorite meal. 53 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,927 Tuna fish salad on white bread with mayonnaise... 54 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,482 ...a Tab and a couple of Twinkies. 55 00:03:37,607 --> 00:03:40,519 -Here, darling. -Mom, thanks. 56 00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:42,917 You're gonna like that shit, man. 57 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,723 I got you a present. 58 00:03:48,487 --> 00:03:50,717 -Gee, Elvira. -I made it myself. 59 00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:55,801 We got you something, too. A half bottle of lilac vegetal. It's from both of us. 60 00:03:56,47 --> 00:03:57,958 I drew you this picture. 61 00:03:58,327 --> 00:04:01,125 -Here. -Thank you. 62 00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,038 I want you to have my Zippo. 63 00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:09,726 Dad, you had this since the war. 64 00:04:13,7 --> 00:04:14,076 Thanks. 65 00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,199 Thanks, everybody. 66 00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:20,160 God bless us... 67 00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:22,245 ...everyone. 68 00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:24,046 Navin!. 69 00:04:29,87 --> 00:04:31,885 Will you pass me the potatoes and the collard greens? 70 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:35,243 -Navin, darling. -I'm sorry l spoiled the party, Mom. 71 00:04:35,327 --> 00:04:37,761 You didn't spoil the party. 72 00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,960 I brought you a Twinkie. 73 00:04:46,647 --> 00:04:48,763 I'm not hungry right now. 74 00:04:50,47 --> 00:04:51,844 Feeling different again? 75 00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:55,564 It's like l don't fit in. It's like l don't belong here. 76 00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:59,799 It's your birthday, and it's time you knew. 77 00:05:00,807 --> 00:05:03,037 You're not our natural-born child. 78 00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,040 I'm not? 79 00:05:11,447 --> 00:05:13,483 You were left on our doorstep... 80 00:05:14,207 --> 00:05:16,926 ...but we raised you like you were one of us. 81 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,880 You mean l'm going to stay this color? 82 00:05:23,487 --> 00:05:27,605 I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass. Come here. 83 00:05:36,247 --> 00:05:39,956 Navin, l wrapped your sandwich in cellophane, just like you like it. 84 00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:45,037 You want to come in and sing some blues? 85 00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,200 No, thanks, Taj. 86 00:05:47,807 --> 00:05:50,002 There's something about those songs. 87 00:05:50,687 --> 00:05:52,359 They depress me. 88 00:05:53,127 --> 00:05:54,879 Come here, darling. 89 00:06:04,47 --> 00:06:05,639 That's it, darling. 90 00:06:07,647 --> 00:06:09,638 You're getting the rhythm. See? 91 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,886 And that concludes this Sunday night Gospel Hour... 92 00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,037 ...live from the Four Square Gospel Church... 93 00:06:23,127 --> 00:06:26,005 ...at the Divine Salvation in St. Louis, Missouri. 94 00:06:26,87 --> 00:06:28,362 The Reverend Willard Willman, Pastor. 95 00:06:28,447 --> 00:06:30,597 And now, music throughout the night. 96 00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,643 Music in a mellow mood. 97 00:07:44,607 --> 00:07:47,041 -Grandma!. -What happened? 98 00:07:47,847 --> 00:07:49,280 -Look!. -What happened? 99 00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,642 Don't touch that radio!. Don't touch it!. 100 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,599 Turn it up!. Turn it up!. 101 00:07:54,287 --> 00:07:56,676 I've never heard music like this before!. 102 00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:59,640 It speaks to me!. Taj!. Dad!. 103 00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:02,525 This is unbelievable. Now watch. 104 00:08:05,687 --> 00:08:06,722 Yeah? 105 00:08:08,87 --> 00:08:11,636 Well, if this is out there, think how much more is out there!. 106 00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:15,845 This is the kind of music that tells me to go out there and be somebody!. 107 00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:19,283 -But Navin-- -Let him go. 108 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,640 Now that you're going out into the world... 109 00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:33,604 ...there's something you should know. 110 00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:37,083 -You see that? -Yeah. 111 00:08:37,287 --> 00:08:38,800 That's shit. 112 00:08:40,47 --> 00:08:43,084 And this is Shinola. 113 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:46,801 Shit. 114 00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,520 Shinola. 115 00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:51,803 Son, you're gonna be all right. 116 00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:55,400 Now, what town are you gonna try for first? 117 00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:59,561 I thought l'd go to St. Louis 'cause that's where that radio show was from. 118 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:03,436 And remember, the Lord loves a working man. 119 00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,563 -"Lord loves a working man." -And son... 120 00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:08,155 ...don't never, ever trust Whitey. 121 00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:11,717 "Don't trust Whitey. Lord loves a working man, don't trust Whitey." 122 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:14,955 Baby. 123 00:09:16,127 --> 00:09:17,242 Daddy. 124 00:09:19,807 --> 00:09:21,877 Pierre. Come here. 125 00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:24,245 Don't you forget to grow up now. 126 00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:26,921 -Good luck, brother. -Send me a picture postcard. 127 00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:31,082 Okay, let the boy go. 128 00:09:31,207 --> 00:09:33,721 -Bye. -We got work to do. 129 00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:37,443 And l hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. 130 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,719 I will, Ma. I know it's out there. 131 00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:46,442 It's out there, all right. If you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it. 132 00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:48,723 -"See a doctor and get rid of it." -Good luck. 133 00:09:48,807 --> 00:09:51,367 "Lord loves a working man. Don't trust Whitey. 134 00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,563 "See a doctor and get rid of it." 135 00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:56,080 Bye, Grandma!. 136 00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:12,195 I sure do miss Navin. 137 00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:15,804 Is he ever coming back? 138 00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:20,646 Take away his place setting. It's making us too goddamn sad. 139 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,243 I wonder if he's doing all right? 140 00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,601 Navin!. How you doing? 141 00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:34,157 Don't worry about me. I think l see a car coming. 142 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,439 No, wait. It's a truck!. 143 00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:39,840 Lord... 144 00:10:40,327 --> 00:10:42,204 ...take care of our little boy. 145 00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:50,156 -I'm hitchhiking. -How far you going? 146 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,556 St. Louis. How far are you going? 147 00:10:52,807 --> 00:10:54,957 To the end of this fence. 148 00:10:55,807 --> 00:10:57,001 Okay. 149 00:11:01,7 --> 00:11:03,805 I'm Navin Johnson. What's your name, sir? 150 00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:06,640 -Here we are. -Okay. 151 00:11:12,127 --> 00:11:14,038 Thanks for the company. 152 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,405 I hope l can repay you someday. 153 00:12:07,207 --> 00:12:09,038 Well, what is it, boy? Are you lost? 154 00:12:09,847 --> 00:12:12,884 Do you want to play? ls it trouble? 155 00:12:15,327 --> 00:12:16,521 Trouble? 156 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,239 Is it an accident? 157 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:20,726 A drowning? 158 00:12:21,287 --> 00:12:22,686 A fire? 159 00:12:23,87 --> 00:12:24,486 Fire!. 160 00:12:27,887 --> 00:12:30,037 We've got to warn everybody!. 161 00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:33,563 I've heard about dogs like you. You're going to be famous!. 162 00:12:34,47 --> 00:12:37,756 You're going to get your picture taken, and they'll put it in the paper!. 163 00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:39,401 This is exciting!. 164 00:12:39,487 --> 00:12:43,321 You saved my life!. Come on, let's warn everybody!. 165 00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:48,520 Fire!. It's a fire!. Fire!. There's a fire!. 166 00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:51,565 Everybody!. Up!. Wake up!. It's a fire!. 167 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,559 It's a fire!. This dog, he's saving everybody's life!. 168 00:12:54,647 --> 00:12:58,003 He's unbelievable!. He's some dog!. He's a lifesaver!. 169 00:12:58,87 --> 00:13:02,444 That's what l'll call him, too!. Ol' Lifesaver!. That will be your name!. 170 00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:09,043 Folks!. False alarm. There's no fire. 171 00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:13,719 Mister, don't call that dog "Lifesaver." 172 00:13:13,807 --> 00:13:16,879 -No? -Call him "Shithead." 173 00:13:17,87 --> 00:13:19,476 Good. "Shithead." 174 00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:21,726 It's exciting. 175 00:13:22,487 --> 00:13:26,116 It's just exciting to have this kind of life on the road. 176 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,045 A guy and his dog. 177 00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:33,525 St. Louis? 178 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,558 No. Navin Johnson. 179 00:13:35,687 --> 00:13:37,996 No, do you want a lift to St. Louis? 180 00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:40,602 -Okay, thanks. -Hop in. 181 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,762 This'll be fine right here. 182 00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:56,445 Thank you. 183 00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:00,642 -Where you going? -To the bathroom. 184 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,361 -Got to have a key. -Can l get one? 185 00:14:03,447 --> 00:14:06,166 My key is for customers who buy gas. 186 00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:08,726 I'm buying gas. 187 00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,724 I don't see no car. 188 00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:13,395 I just need enough for my lighter. 189 00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:14,363 Look at this!. 190 00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:17,484 And my wife wanted me to stay home. Look what l would've missed. 191 00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,797 A complete fill-up for a whole lighter? 192 00:14:19,887 --> 00:14:22,276 -It's on that wall. -Thank you. 193 00:14:30,407 --> 00:14:32,967 -And don't walk away with it. -I won't. 194 00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:35,915 Pop-top. 195 00:14:36,87 --> 00:14:38,237 Silver Bird, l'm talking to you!. 196 00:14:39,7 --> 00:14:41,646 Listen, you want to be president of Texaco Oil? 197 00:14:42,487 --> 00:14:45,081 -Sure!. -Then clean up the sink in there. 198 00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:49,446 Then l'll be president of Texaco Oil? 199 00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:51,923 Whatever happened to working your way up? 200 00:14:52,7 --> 00:14:55,795 Working for me 10 minutes, and already he wants to be president. The nerve. 201 00:14:56,527 --> 00:14:58,040 Get to work in there!. 202 00:14:58,127 --> 00:15:00,322 But, sir, l don't work here. 203 00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:02,399 Not even for $1 .10 an hour? 204 00:15:27,447 --> 00:15:30,757 "Dear Folks, l got this greatjob in a gas station. 205 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,838 "l don't want to say how much l'm getting... 206 00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:35,077 "...but let'sjust say it's a lot! 207 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,123 "l'm enclosing $2!" 208 00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,323 That's a good boy!. 209 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,844 "lt's a lot of fun working, and Mr. Hartounian is really nice. 210 00:15:43,7 --> 00:15:45,123 "He's teaching me how to be impatient. 211 00:15:46,407 --> 00:15:51,037 "Well, l've got to go now. What do you think l do, write letters all day?" 212 00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,240 -You actually sleep here? -Yes. Is that okay? 213 00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:00,081 Come with me. I got a beautiful little place for you. 214 00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:03,599 Put the light on. You're going to like it here. 215 00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:09,403 Like it? l love it!. This is fabulous!. 216 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,324 You got the toilet here!. 217 00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:15,007 This must be the kitchen. No. 218 00:16:16,527 --> 00:16:17,926 You know what l could do... 219 00:16:18,7 --> 00:16:20,396 ...is take this wall and just turn it this way... 220 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:22,523 ...so l've got a larger living space... 221 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:26,361 ...plus it'll create a flow into the main living area. It'll be incredible. 222 00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:28,756 No, l'll just elevate this about six inches... 223 00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:32,442 ...create the illusion of two rooms, and yet still have that flow. 224 00:16:32,527 --> 00:16:35,121 Then l can take bookshelves and put it here. 225 00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:39,401 No, l'll put the books right over here. That way l can be relaxing over here... 226 00:16:39,487 --> 00:16:43,366 ...the customers can use the urinal. I won't disturb them, they won't disturb me. 227 00:16:43,447 --> 00:16:46,120 Take it easy. It's not here. It's in here. 228 00:16:48,527 --> 00:16:50,757 I couldn't afford this anyway. 229 00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,605 Well, this is it. 230 00:16:54,47 --> 00:16:55,366 It's perfect!. 231 00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,483 I won't have to change this at all!. 232 00:16:57,607 --> 00:16:58,835 Take a look. 233 00:16:59,87 --> 00:17:02,045 No kitchen, no windows, no chairs, no tables. 234 00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,123 It's a masterpiece of understatement. 235 00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:08,724 I'll put a bed down here, get a bigger bulb. I'll bring some sheets from the house. 236 00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:10,445 You'll be set for life. 237 00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:14,995 How much is this gonna cost me? 238 00:17:15,87 --> 00:17:18,204 Nothing. When you're rich and famous, you'll send me a postcard. 239 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,965 A postcard? 240 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:30,322 Okay!. It's a deal. 241 00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,395 It's a deal. 242 00:17:34,327 --> 00:17:35,601 What are those? 243 00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,723 Step outside for a second, darling. 244 00:17:38,47 --> 00:17:40,845 Navin, this is my wife Lenore. Lenore, this is Navin. 245 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,521 Pleased to meet you. 246 00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:45,878 Do you know why a woman of such pulchritude is married to me? 247 00:17:46,7 --> 00:17:47,725 'Cause l make a comfortable living. 248 00:17:47,807 --> 00:17:50,560 This is the first time l'm leaving you alone on a Sunday. 249 00:17:50,647 --> 00:17:54,356 If anything should happen to this station, this woman would leave me like a-- 250 00:17:56,487 --> 00:17:58,762 In other words, there would be no more.... 251 00:17:59,407 --> 00:18:02,444 -Do you know what l'm talking about? -Yes, sir. No more.... 252 00:18:04,407 --> 00:18:07,240 So remember, guard this station with your life... 253 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:10,006 ...because my sex life is in your hands. 254 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,885 I can fix those shocks. 255 00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:26,357 No. We just want some gas, muchacho. 256 00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:29,405 Okay. But it's Sunday. We've got to have a credit card. 257 00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:32,238 And all the cash is locked up? 258 00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:36,286 No, not locked up. We got a lot of cash. Just that the banks are closed... 259 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:38,961 ...and l'm not allowed to have cash coming in or out. 260 00:18:39,47 --> 00:18:41,925 I'm alone for the first time. I don't want anything to happen. 261 00:18:42,7 --> 00:18:45,920 You flash this kind of wad in front of some people, they'll kill you for it. 262 00:18:46,7 --> 00:18:47,804 So, we've got to have a credit card. 263 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,166 Have we got a credit card in there? 264 00:18:51,327 --> 00:18:53,158 Credit card. 265 00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:01,285 No, thanks. I don't smoke. 266 00:19:01,447 --> 00:19:03,881 -What kind of cigarette is that? -Joint. 267 00:19:04,47 --> 00:19:05,036 Joint? 268 00:19:05,487 --> 00:19:06,886 They don't make 'em very good. 269 00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:10,277 -MasterCharge do? -That's fine. We take MasterCharge. 270 00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:14,042 You want a fill-up, Mrs. Nussbaum? 271 00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:17,684 I'm Mr. Nussbaum. 272 00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:20,276 Yeah, that's his wife's card. 273 00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:23,444 -His wife's card? -Yeah, l'll vouch for him. 274 00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,722 Okay, as long as we got a voucher. 275 00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,406 Stolen!. 276 00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:01,361 I got it!. Just send a police car over. 277 00:20:02,47 --> 00:20:05,722 Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card!. I got the guys who stole it. 278 00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,876 Hold on, they're calling me!. I'll be right back!. 279 00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:17,918 -Yes? -Yeah, throw a couple of tires in the trunk. 280 00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,479 Put it on the card. Radials. 281 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:24,196 -Make them whitewalls. -Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum. 282 00:20:30,807 --> 00:20:32,877 I'm back, only it's worse than l thought. 283 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:36,755 They're not only sticking us for gas, but grabbing tires and everything. 284 00:20:36,847 --> 00:20:38,485 They're really socking it to us. 285 00:20:38,567 --> 00:20:41,286 Yeah, it's Hartounian's Gas Station at the corner-- 286 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,961 Hang on a second. I don't want to get 'em suspicious. 287 00:20:45,927 --> 00:20:49,203 Don't worry, l can keep 'em here. I saw this trick in a movie. 288 00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,727 -Got your tires!. -Yeah, good. 289 00:21:37,887 --> 00:21:39,559 -Anything else? -Yeah. 290 00:21:39,647 --> 00:21:42,639 We'll take that money you got in your pocket. 291 00:21:43,647 --> 00:21:45,877 Sure. I'll just put it on the card. 292 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,765 Guess what!. You're our eighth customer today!. 293 00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:53,606 You won a free oven mitt!. 294 00:21:53,887 --> 00:21:55,957 I'll go get it for you. 295 00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:11,519 Yeah, l'm back. 296 00:22:13,247 --> 00:22:16,683 Yeah, they're gonna be here for a while. Don't worry. I've rigged it. 297 00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:20,239 You guys want to stick around for an oven mitt? 298 00:22:26,87 --> 00:22:27,566 Hang on just a second. 299 00:22:53,127 --> 00:22:57,006 They might not be here exactly when you get back but... 300 00:22:57,727 --> 00:23:00,878 ...it's a blue Chevy two-door. 301 00:23:01,287 --> 00:23:04,836 And it'd be going south on Hertado Street. 302 00:23:05,127 --> 00:23:08,039 No, l can't make out the license number, but... 303 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,037 ...it'd be pulling a small church. 304 00:23:11,647 --> 00:23:16,323 Any blue Chevy pulling a small church l figure that'd be the one, yeah. 305 00:23:17,247 --> 00:23:19,602 Believe me, l'm not mad at you. 306 00:23:19,887 --> 00:23:22,845 What's the matter with you? What did l lose, a couple of tires? 307 00:23:25,367 --> 00:23:28,120 Look at the bright side. We also lost a church. 308 00:23:28,727 --> 00:23:30,683 Mr. Hartounian. 309 00:23:36,7 --> 00:23:37,963 Oh, my God!. 310 00:23:39,847 --> 00:23:41,200 Thank you. 311 00:23:49,607 --> 00:23:52,280 The new phone book's here!. 312 00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:54,562 I wish l could get that excited about nothing. 313 00:23:54,647 --> 00:23:57,320 Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73!. 314 00:23:57,487 --> 00:24:00,399 "Johnson, Navin R." 315 00:24:00,967 --> 00:24:05,119 I'm somebody now!. Millions of people look at this book every day!. 316 00:24:05,247 --> 00:24:07,522 This is the kind of spontaneous publicity... 317 00:24:07,607 --> 00:24:10,758 ...your name in print, that makes people!. 318 00:24:11,727 --> 00:24:13,399 I'm in print!. 319 00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:18,123 Things are going to start happening to me now. 320 00:24:21,407 --> 00:24:23,398 "Johnson, Navin R." 321 00:24:23,487 --> 00:24:25,557 Sounds like a typical bastard. 322 00:24:29,327 --> 00:24:31,966 Die, Navin R. Johnson. 323 00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:36,316 Bastard!. 324 00:24:36,407 --> 00:24:39,717 Random son of a bitch, typical run-of-the-mill bastard. 325 00:24:40,447 --> 00:24:42,881 -Fill 'er up? -Fill 'er up and a little bit extra. 326 00:24:42,967 --> 00:24:46,357 -Stan Fox, buying gas. -Navin R. Johnson selling it, sir!. 327 00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:49,042 Gotcha, you average... 328 00:24:49,207 --> 00:24:53,485 ...typical blocking-the-view- of-a-goddamn-average-victim bastard!. 329 00:24:53,847 --> 00:24:56,680 -Check your oil? -Check away, Navin R. Johnson. 330 00:24:56,767 --> 00:24:58,200 Oil rag at the ready, sir!. 331 00:24:58,287 --> 00:25:00,562 -Let's check the oil together. -Yes, sir. 332 00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:02,197 Thank you. 333 00:25:05,167 --> 00:25:06,486 Son-of-a-blocking bastard!. 334 00:25:07,447 --> 00:25:10,041 Looks good to me, sir, but l'd like your opinion. 335 00:25:10,247 --> 00:25:11,680 Damn these glasses. 336 00:25:11,807 --> 00:25:14,480 It looks good to me, too. Hurry up. Time's a wasting. 337 00:25:14,567 --> 00:25:18,480 I'm going to the john. Don't forget to check those tires. Damn these glasses. 338 00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:21,161 Yes, sir!. I damn thee!. 339 00:25:22,247 --> 00:25:23,600 Damn!. 340 00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:29,917 Damn these glasses!. 341 00:25:31,87 --> 00:25:33,282 -I can fix those glasses. -You can? 342 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,443 Well, here, fix those suckers!. 343 00:25:46,287 --> 00:25:47,322 Shit!. 344 00:26:06,207 --> 00:26:08,562 Guess what? l fixed 'em. 345 00:26:10,47 --> 00:26:11,560 I was back there thinking... 346 00:26:11,647 --> 00:26:14,684 ..."What causes glasses to slip on and off?. " 347 00:26:14,767 --> 00:26:17,201 And it's because when you take them on and off... 348 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:19,397 ...you're putting pressure on the frames. 349 00:26:19,487 --> 00:26:21,000 It causes them to spread. 350 00:26:21,127 --> 00:26:24,244 So l put a little handle right here in the center... 351 00:26:24,367 --> 00:26:26,642 ...that puts the pressure on the bridge. 352 00:26:26,727 --> 00:26:28,797 Just like the tie rods on a '72 Buick. 353 00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:32,801 Plus, l put a little nose brake on here to prevent slippage. Try it. 354 00:26:33,447 --> 00:26:34,846 Use the handle. 355 00:26:38,127 --> 00:26:39,196 Well, l'll be. 356 00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,643 It works. 357 00:26:43,607 --> 00:26:47,236 I make a pretty good living selling shit like this. I'll tell you what. 358 00:26:47,327 --> 00:26:50,683 If l can develop this gizmo, l'll split it with you fifty-fifty. 359 00:26:51,127 --> 00:26:53,482 How much for the gas? l got a load of shit to sell. 360 00:26:53,567 --> 00:26:56,320 -$26.41 . -Here's a triple dix. Keep the change. 361 00:26:56,807 --> 00:26:58,206 Thanks!. 362 00:27:01,407 --> 00:27:04,717 Dead center!. Say your prayers, half-breed!. 363 00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:16,481 Harry!. Look at this!. 364 00:27:17,87 --> 00:27:19,555 What's the matter with these cans? 365 00:27:20,287 --> 00:27:22,118 Die, milk-face!. 366 00:27:25,327 --> 00:27:28,239 These cans are defective. They're springing leaks. 367 00:27:28,367 --> 00:27:29,766 Come and look at this. 368 00:27:31,7 --> 00:27:33,726 You better run for cover or you'll spring a leak. 369 00:27:34,87 --> 00:27:36,760 We don't have defective cans. We have a defective person!. 370 00:27:39,887 --> 00:27:41,798 He hates these cans. 371 00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:44,964 Stay away from the cans!. 372 00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:46,964 Die, gas pumper!. 373 00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:50,356 I've got to get away from those cans!. 374 00:27:50,527 --> 00:27:52,404 There's cans in there, too!. 375 00:27:52,487 --> 00:27:53,761 Run!. Run!. 376 00:27:56,567 --> 00:27:57,966 More cans!. 377 00:27:58,767 --> 00:28:00,325 Die, you bastard!. 378 00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:06,157 He doesn't want to put holes in cans. He wants to put holes in you. 379 00:28:06,247 --> 00:28:07,646 What? 380 00:28:10,487 --> 00:28:12,364 Milk-faced bastard!. 381 00:28:13,647 --> 00:28:15,797 Oh, my God!. I'm endangering your life!. 382 00:28:15,887 --> 00:28:17,639 -Cover me!. -You're covered. 383 00:28:18,367 --> 00:28:20,039 Suck my toes!. 384 00:28:24,687 --> 00:28:27,076 You stay here!. I'll distract him!. 385 00:28:41,647 --> 00:28:43,842 Shithead!. Come on!. 386 00:28:45,847 --> 00:28:48,156 Come on, boy!. Good boy!. 387 00:29:16,767 --> 00:29:19,645 "Carnival personnel only." Damn!. 388 00:29:24,127 --> 00:29:25,526 Shithead, come on!. 389 00:29:26,167 --> 00:29:28,123 You're not carnival personnel!. 390 00:29:32,847 --> 00:29:35,441 He's not carnival personnel!. 391 00:29:37,167 --> 00:29:38,919 Okay, move it out!. 392 00:29:44,687 --> 00:29:48,043 "So, Mom, when l told Mr. Hartounian l'd come back, he said: 393 00:29:48,207 --> 00:29:49,560 "'Don't be a putz. 394 00:29:49,727 --> 00:29:52,082 "'See the world. Me you've seen already.' 395 00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:56,564 "l took his advice and got a job with SJM Fiesta Shows as a weight guesser. 396 00:29:56,727 --> 00:30:00,197 "Frosty, my boss, told me there's a big future in weight guessing. 397 00:30:00,447 --> 00:30:04,281 "Enclosed is $4.75 for my loving family. 398 00:30:04,887 --> 00:30:07,560 "P.S. Is grandma still farting?" 399 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:12,204 For $1, l'll guess your weight, your height or your sex. 400 00:30:12,487 --> 00:30:15,001 The most exciting thing on the midway. 401 00:30:15,87 --> 00:30:19,319 Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional. 402 00:30:19,647 --> 00:30:22,445 You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest... 403 00:30:22,527 --> 00:30:24,995 ...but you're not going to fool the guesser!. 404 00:30:25,87 --> 00:30:27,203 How 'bout you, sir? Step right up!. 405 00:30:27,287 --> 00:30:30,882 Honey, let's see how good this guy is. Now, what do l win? 406 00:30:31,967 --> 00:30:35,596 Anything in this general area right in here. 407 00:30:35,687 --> 00:30:39,760 Anything below the stereo and on this side of the bicentennial glasses. 408 00:30:39,847 --> 00:30:43,601 Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble. 409 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,926 Anything in this three inches right in here, in this area. 410 00:30:48,7 --> 00:30:50,646 That includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers. 411 00:30:50,727 --> 00:30:52,479 No, sir!. Come on, honey. 412 00:30:52,567 --> 00:30:54,762 He thought he had himself a rube. 413 00:30:57,447 --> 00:30:59,756 Frosty, l'm no good at this. 414 00:30:59,847 --> 00:31:01,678 Come on. You're doing fine. 415 00:31:01,807 --> 00:31:05,595 I've already given away eight pencils, two hula dolls and an ashtray... 416 00:31:05,687 --> 00:31:07,723 ...and l've only taken in $15. 417 00:31:08,87 --> 00:31:10,726 Navin, you have taken in $15... 418 00:31:10,847 --> 00:31:13,441 ...and given away 50 cents worth of crap!. 419 00:31:14,47 --> 00:31:17,198 Which gives us a net profit of $14.50. 420 00:31:22,727 --> 00:31:25,036 It's a profit deal. 421 00:31:27,727 --> 00:31:29,877 Takes the pressure off. 422 00:31:30,687 --> 00:31:33,565 Get your weight guessed right here!. Only a buck!. 423 00:31:33,647 --> 00:31:38,038 Actual weight guessing!. Take a chance, win some crap. Step right up-- 424 00:31:38,127 --> 00:31:40,595 Ladies and gentlemen... 425 00:31:40,807 --> 00:31:45,278 ...l draw your attention now to the left side ofthe midway. 426 00:31:45,607 --> 00:31:49,964 Presenting the amazing Patti Bernstein... 427 00:31:50,887 --> 00:31:53,242 ...doing her special ride... 428 00:31:53,367 --> 00:31:56,359 ...through the Flaming Wall of Death! 429 00:32:58,927 --> 00:33:00,918 Want to guess my weight, Greenie? 430 00:33:01,207 --> 00:33:03,767 I saw you last night. You were great. 431 00:33:03,927 --> 00:33:06,157 Yeah, right. Turn around. 432 00:33:06,927 --> 00:33:08,076 What? 433 00:33:08,247 --> 00:33:09,805 Turn around. 434 00:33:11,927 --> 00:33:13,246 Go like this. 435 00:33:17,87 --> 00:33:20,284 You're okay. Give me a bite of that corn dog. 436 00:33:20,687 --> 00:33:22,564 What about germs? 437 00:33:23,407 --> 00:33:25,238 Put a rubber on it. 438 00:33:27,807 --> 00:33:29,126 Get on. 439 00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,877 Don't you wear him out!. He's got to work tonight. 440 00:33:44,447 --> 00:33:46,005 What a great place!. 441 00:33:49,367 --> 00:33:52,803 You know, you can tell so much about a person from the way they live. 442 00:33:52,887 --> 00:33:54,878 Just looking around here, l can tell... 443 00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:57,606 ...you're a genuinely dirty person. 444 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,726 What do l do with this? 445 00:34:06,87 --> 00:34:07,805 You keep it there. 446 00:34:11,807 --> 00:34:13,286 Where's your garbage? 447 00:34:16,727 --> 00:34:17,796 There. 448 00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:24,281 -Do you know what l'd like to do? -What? 449 00:34:25,567 --> 00:34:27,046 Guess your weight. 450 00:34:27,127 --> 00:34:28,765 That would be interesting for me. 451 00:34:28,847 --> 00:34:31,042 No one has tried to guess my weight. 452 00:34:31,127 --> 00:34:34,119 -I guess their weight so it would be sort-- -Put your arms up. 453 00:34:36,607 --> 00:34:39,326 This will give me a whole different perspective on this. 454 00:34:44,127 --> 00:34:46,561 You're really trying to be accurate. 455 00:34:52,167 --> 00:34:54,078 Is it getting hot in here? 456 00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,924 Wait a minute!. 457 00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,556 What's happening to my special purpose? 458 00:34:59,647 --> 00:35:01,126 What's your special purpose? 459 00:35:01,207 --> 00:35:04,279 When l was a kid, my mom told me that was my special purpose... 460 00:35:04,367 --> 00:35:07,200 ...and someday l'd find out what that special purpose was!. 461 00:35:07,287 --> 00:35:09,039 Today's the day!. 462 00:35:14,527 --> 00:35:16,404 This is like a ride!. 463 00:35:18,7 --> 00:35:21,556 "My dear family, guess what? 464 00:35:22,207 --> 00:35:27,406 "Today l found out what my special purpose is for. 465 00:35:28,687 --> 00:35:31,599 "Gosh, what a great time l had. 466 00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:35,715 "l wish the whole family could have been here with me. 467 00:35:36,287 --> 00:35:38,755 "Maybe some other time... 468 00:35:39,207 --> 00:35:42,244 "...as l intend to do this a lot... 469 00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:45,242 "...every chance l get. 470 00:35:45,847 --> 00:35:49,123 "l think next week l'll be able to send more money... 471 00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:51,761 "...as l may have extra work. 472 00:35:52,7 --> 00:35:55,124 "My friend Patti promised me a blow job. 473 00:35:55,207 --> 00:35:57,198 "Your loving son, Navin." 474 00:35:57,527 --> 00:35:59,961 And he's got the kisses here. 475 00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:05,806 -That Patti must be a sweet girl. -God bless her. 476 00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:36,039 Do you think we'll get to know each other well enough to kiss? 477 00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:38,516 We don't have to. You're my man. 478 00:36:38,687 --> 00:36:41,485 It's like we're married. Look at my ass. 479 00:36:43,807 --> 00:36:47,322 You have my last name tattooed right there under the J's. 480 00:36:48,207 --> 00:36:52,166 First l get my name in the phone book, and now l'm on your ass. 481 00:36:52,487 --> 00:36:56,366 You know, l'll bet more people see that than the phone book. 482 00:37:08,967 --> 00:37:10,241 End of the line. 483 00:37:10,327 --> 00:37:13,717 This is Engineer Fred. Come back and visit me again. 484 00:37:17,687 --> 00:37:19,006 Billy!. 485 00:37:25,367 --> 00:37:29,838 Have you seen a 5-year-old boy, blond hair, wearing a T-shirt that says "bullshit" on it? 486 00:37:29,967 --> 00:37:34,199 No, there was just one kid had a T-shirt that said "life sucks" on it. 487 00:37:34,487 --> 00:37:37,843 We got off the Round-Up, and he said he wanted to go on the train. 488 00:37:37,927 --> 00:37:39,599 There he is!. Billy!. 489 00:37:39,687 --> 00:37:41,439 -Come back here!. -Get off the train. 490 00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:43,963 Pull that lever!. Pull the lever!. 491 00:37:44,47 --> 00:37:46,641 Here, hold that!. And these!. 492 00:37:47,887 --> 00:37:51,960 Take my keys. And hold my wallet. Okay. 493 00:37:52,647 --> 00:37:55,480 Don't touch the Johnson bar, you'll explode the fuel casing!. 494 00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:58,559 And if the Wolfe and Smith indicator gets above 160... 495 00:37:58,647 --> 00:38:01,400 -...turn that off there. -I can't take you here anymore. 496 00:38:01,487 --> 00:38:04,479 There's a screwdriver. Put it in, turn it one quarter. 497 00:38:04,727 --> 00:38:06,524 Listen, we're going into a tunnel. 498 00:38:06,607 --> 00:38:09,167 Don't stand up. The clearance is only 4 foot-- 499 00:38:09,807 --> 00:38:11,479 -No. -I'm okay. 500 00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:14,365 I was protected by the bill of my Engineer Fred cap. 501 00:38:29,607 --> 00:38:31,882 Thanks for pulling my cap down. 502 00:38:35,687 --> 00:38:38,838 You scared me half to death. Thank you so much. 503 00:38:39,7 --> 00:38:41,760 It would've been so embarrassing to go home without Billy. 504 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:47,086 Here's your gloves and your oil can and your wallet. 505 00:38:47,767 --> 00:38:49,280 And this fell out. 506 00:38:52,167 --> 00:38:53,725 Those guys!. 507 00:38:53,967 --> 00:38:57,960 Listen, what you did just now was very brave. 508 00:38:58,247 --> 00:39:00,442 Is there some way l could repay you? 509 00:39:00,727 --> 00:39:02,001 Repay me? 510 00:39:02,87 --> 00:39:05,204 I could never accept anything from you for saving your child. 511 00:39:05,287 --> 00:39:09,519 He's not my child. I'm just baby-sitting for a friend. 512 00:39:10,47 --> 00:39:13,926 -Would it be too much if l asked for a kiss? -No. 513 00:39:16,647 --> 00:39:18,399 He's a real little dickens. 514 00:39:26,967 --> 00:39:28,286 Thank you. 515 00:39:32,687 --> 00:39:33,836 Miss? 516 00:39:35,47 --> 00:39:38,005 I was just standing here right now, and l was... 517 00:39:38,207 --> 00:39:41,199 ...wondering, if you weren't doing anything tomorrow... 518 00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:47,640 ...maybe you might want to go out with.... 519 00:39:48,207 --> 00:39:49,401 What? 520 00:39:50,727 --> 00:39:55,278 I thought maybe you might want to go out with me. 521 00:39:55,767 --> 00:39:57,997 Are you trying to ask me for a date? 522 00:40:01,7 --> 00:40:04,477 Once for no, twice for yes. 523 00:40:07,367 --> 00:40:08,686 Okay. 524 00:40:10,567 --> 00:40:12,125 You're so cute. 525 00:40:12,247 --> 00:40:15,637 How about 3:30 tomorrow at the Round-Up? 526 00:40:15,727 --> 00:40:17,285 Okay. 527 00:40:19,847 --> 00:40:21,838 Do you have any boyfriends? 528 00:40:23,527 --> 00:40:24,676 Not really. 529 00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:28,476 Are they crazy? lf l was a fella, l'd be around all the time. 530 00:40:28,567 --> 00:40:31,161 Well, see if you can work it out. 531 00:40:31,367 --> 00:40:33,198 We have a date tomorrow. 532 00:40:34,687 --> 00:40:36,564 What's your name? 533 00:40:37,127 --> 00:40:38,162 Marie. 534 00:40:39,647 --> 00:40:41,126 What's yours? 535 00:40:41,207 --> 00:40:45,405 I'll tell you tomorrow. It'll give us something interesting to talk about. 536 00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:03,196 Hi!. 537 00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:05,318 What's up, hubby? 538 00:41:07,7 --> 00:41:08,520 I got these for you. 539 00:41:11,727 --> 00:41:12,842 Thanks. 540 00:41:13,247 --> 00:41:16,364 Navin, you know the other day when l showed you the tattoo? 541 00:41:16,447 --> 00:41:17,675 Yeah. 542 00:41:18,647 --> 00:41:20,638 Well, l forgot to tell you something. 543 00:41:20,727 --> 00:41:23,036 -Really? What? -This. 544 00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:33,601 That's what's going to happen to you if l ever catch you looking at another broad. 545 00:41:33,967 --> 00:41:35,400 I'm glad you told me. 546 00:41:35,487 --> 00:41:39,082 And remember, l did this without anger. 547 00:41:39,767 --> 00:41:42,486 And l stayed away from your crotch. 548 00:41:43,647 --> 00:41:45,285 Bye, sweetie. 549 00:41:47,487 --> 00:41:50,160 -Hi!. -What happened? 550 00:41:50,447 --> 00:41:53,564 It was unbelievable. These guys jumped me. 551 00:41:53,647 --> 00:41:56,525 They tried to get these flowers. I got 'em for you. 552 00:41:56,607 --> 00:41:59,246 It's kind of a traditional date deal. 553 00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:02,484 Yeah, l've heard of that. What were they? 554 00:42:03,807 --> 00:42:05,638 Couple of dozen roses. 555 00:42:06,447 --> 00:42:08,165 Look like daisy stems. 556 00:42:08,287 --> 00:42:11,199 What? That guy gypped me. 557 00:42:11,287 --> 00:42:14,165 Put daisy stems on my roses. 558 00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:17,197 Look, these hoodlums are dangerous. 559 00:42:17,287 --> 00:42:19,926 I think we ought to get out of here before she sees us. 560 00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:22,403 -"She"? -What? 561 00:42:22,527 --> 00:42:25,200 -You said "she." -No!. 562 00:42:25,287 --> 00:42:27,084 I always call a gang "she." 563 00:42:27,167 --> 00:42:30,557 It's like when you call a boat "she" or a hurricane "she." 564 00:42:30,647 --> 00:42:31,796 Or a girl? 565 00:42:32,287 --> 00:42:36,439 You can call a girl "she." That's just one of the many things you can call "she." 566 00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:40,964 Why are you smiling? 567 00:42:41,687 --> 00:42:44,121 You're the fiirst person l've ever had at my place. 568 00:42:44,607 --> 00:42:45,722 Do you live here? 569 00:42:46,287 --> 00:42:47,720 It's nice. 570 00:42:47,847 --> 00:42:49,075 Did you decorate it? 571 00:42:49,167 --> 00:42:52,796 I got this from the old Cup O' Pizza place before they tore it down. 572 00:42:56,567 --> 00:42:58,125 That was really good pizza. 573 00:42:58,247 --> 00:43:00,238 This is the best pizza in a cup ever. 574 00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:03,956 This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old Cup O' Pizza guy out of business. 575 00:43:04,47 --> 00:43:06,481 People come from all over to get this. 576 00:43:19,767 --> 00:43:22,804 You know, you have beautiful skin. 577 00:43:25,727 --> 00:43:26,921 May l? 578 00:43:33,47 --> 00:43:35,607 So smooth and flexible. 579 00:43:36,407 --> 00:43:39,001 I take after my mother's side of the family. 580 00:43:39,287 --> 00:43:42,996 It's amazing the way it just snaps back like that. Amazing. 581 00:43:44,727 --> 00:43:46,763 -Are you a model? -No. 582 00:43:49,47 --> 00:43:51,038 I'm a cosmetologist. 583 00:43:51,407 --> 00:43:54,046 Really? A cosmetologist? 584 00:43:54,887 --> 00:43:56,718 That's unbelievable. 585 00:43:57,207 --> 00:43:58,879 That's impressive. 586 00:43:59,207 --> 00:44:01,960 It must be tough to handle the weightlessness. 587 00:44:03,727 --> 00:44:05,797 Can l ask you a personal question? 588 00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:08,600 What is it? 589 00:44:10,287 --> 00:44:12,005 Now be totally honest. 590 00:44:13,487 --> 00:44:15,603 You do have a boyfriend, don't you? 591 00:44:16,247 --> 00:44:17,441 Kind of. 592 00:44:19,127 --> 00:44:21,357 I know this is our first date, but... 593 00:44:23,567 --> 00:44:27,401 ...do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend... 594 00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,759 ...you could think of me? 595 00:44:30,847 --> 00:44:34,396 -I haven't made love to him yet. -That's too bad. 596 00:44:35,487 --> 00:44:37,318 Do you think it's possible that... 597 00:44:37,767 --> 00:44:38,995 ...someday... 598 00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:42,681 ...you could make love with me and think of him? 599 00:44:42,887 --> 00:44:44,115 Who knows? 600 00:44:44,327 --> 00:44:47,364 Maybe you and he can make love and you could think of me. 601 00:44:49,87 --> 00:44:51,442 I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere. 602 00:45:07,567 --> 00:45:09,080 Do you have a girlfriend? 603 00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:12,916 -Does it matter? -I'd like to think you were available. 604 00:45:13,87 --> 00:45:14,884 I'm available. 605 00:45:26,7 --> 00:45:27,326 Did you forget about my ass? 606 00:45:27,407 --> 00:45:29,602 No, l've been thinking about it. 607 00:45:29,927 --> 00:45:31,918 She tattooed my name on her ass. 608 00:45:32,87 --> 00:45:34,078 Not just my name. A lot of names!. 609 00:45:34,247 --> 00:45:37,922 And funny things, too. She's got one up here that says "Slippery when wet." 610 00:45:38,87 --> 00:45:41,124 -How do you know that? -What is she, some great piece of ass? 611 00:45:41,207 --> 00:45:43,323 She's no great piece of ass!. 612 00:45:44,127 --> 00:45:47,005 I mean, wait a minute. 613 00:45:47,407 --> 00:45:50,319 We're all adults here. Let's reason this out. 614 00:45:50,407 --> 00:45:52,762 Marie's the type of person that if you got-- 615 00:45:52,847 --> 00:45:54,963 If this gash doesn't get out of here... 616 00:45:55,47 --> 00:45:57,402 ...l am gonna drive this bike up her butt!. 617 00:45:57,487 --> 00:45:59,239 While Patti tends to be more direct. 618 00:45:59,327 --> 00:46:01,318 As for you, farm boy.... 619 00:46:02,87 --> 00:46:03,600 We're married!. 620 00:46:03,687 --> 00:46:06,042 And as for you, kewpie doll-- 621 00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:11,446 You protected me. You must really like me. 622 00:46:17,327 --> 00:46:19,795 "l know, l know 623 00:46:19,967 --> 00:46:21,878 "You belong 624 00:46:22,367 --> 00:46:26,360 "To somebody new 625 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,801 "But tonight 626 00:46:30,87 --> 00:46:34,000 "You belong to me 627 00:46:37,807 --> 00:46:40,162 "Although, although 628 00:46:40,247 --> 00:46:42,681 "We're apart 629 00:46:42,807 --> 00:46:44,957 "You're part 630 00:46:45,167 --> 00:46:47,635 "Of my heart 631 00:46:47,847 --> 00:46:50,122 "And tonight 632 00:46:50,327 --> 00:46:54,366 "You belong to me 633 00:46:58,167 --> 00:47:00,317 "Way down 634 00:47:00,647 --> 00:47:02,763 "By the stream 635 00:47:03,127 --> 00:47:05,163 "How sweet 636 00:47:05,727 --> 00:47:07,763 "lt would seem 637 00:47:08,247 --> 00:47:10,078 "Once more 638 00:47:10,247 --> 00:47:12,807 "Just to dream 639 00:47:13,127 --> 00:47:16,085 "ln the moonlight 640 00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:21,001 "My honey, l know, l know 641 00:47:21,87 --> 00:47:23,282 "With the dawn 642 00:47:23,447 --> 00:47:25,244 "That you 643 00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:28,361 "Will be gone 644 00:47:28,567 --> 00:47:30,603 "But tonight 645 00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:33,237 "You belong 646 00:47:33,887 --> 00:47:37,675 "To me, just to little old me" 647 00:48:07,887 --> 00:48:09,445 You know... 648 00:48:10,327 --> 00:48:12,761 ...while you were playing that just now... 649 00:48:13,847 --> 00:48:16,759 ...l had the craziest fantasy that l could... 650 00:48:17,607 --> 00:48:18,926 ...rise up... 651 00:48:19,407 --> 00:48:23,116 ...float right down the end of this cornet... 652 00:48:23,647 --> 00:48:25,558 ...right through here... 653 00:48:25,687 --> 00:48:27,757 ...through these valves... 654 00:48:27,887 --> 00:48:30,242 ...right along this tube... 655 00:48:30,647 --> 00:48:32,956 ...come right up against your lips... 656 00:48:33,807 --> 00:48:35,718 ...and give you a kiss. 657 00:48:38,327 --> 00:48:39,919 Why didn't you? 658 00:48:40,447 --> 00:48:42,597 I didn't want to get spit on me. 659 00:49:33,87 --> 00:49:35,157 Was it good for you, too? 660 00:49:38,687 --> 00:49:40,917 I really do want to kiss you... 661 00:49:42,887 --> 00:49:44,525 ...but l'm afraid. 662 00:49:45,127 --> 00:49:48,164 -I would have kept my tongue in. -No, l mean... 663 00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:52,996 ...l'm afraid if l kiss you... 664 00:49:54,847 --> 00:49:56,803 ...l'll fall in love with you. 665 00:49:57,767 --> 00:49:59,166 You will? 666 00:49:59,767 --> 00:50:01,678 And l don't want to. 667 00:50:02,967 --> 00:50:04,446 You don't? 668 00:50:05,767 --> 00:50:09,919 My mother sacrificed everything to send me through cosmetology school. 669 00:50:10,167 --> 00:50:11,566 She did? 670 00:50:12,807 --> 00:50:15,640 She has this dream for me to be something. 671 00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,646 She does? 672 00:50:18,727 --> 00:50:21,878 To marry someone with power... 673 00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:24,803 ...money, vision. 674 00:50:26,127 --> 00:50:28,595 Someone with a special purpose. 675 00:50:31,767 --> 00:50:33,439 I've got one!. 676 00:50:34,7 --> 00:50:37,238 -I've got a special purpose!. -You do? 677 00:50:37,327 --> 00:50:39,283 Yes!. It's fantastic!. 678 00:50:39,367 --> 00:50:42,439 It's great!. It's unbelievable!. 679 00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:46,520 And l was afraid to tell you about it. Your mother's gonna love me!. 680 00:50:49,207 --> 00:50:51,437 Marie, are you awake? 681 00:50:53,407 --> 00:50:54,522 Good. 682 00:50:56,367 --> 00:50:58,483 You look so beautiful and peaceful... 683 00:50:58,727 --> 00:51:00,365 ...you almost look dead. 684 00:51:03,247 --> 00:51:04,726 I'm glad because... 685 00:51:05,7 --> 00:51:08,841 ...there's something l want to say that's always been difficult for me to say. 686 00:51:10,767 --> 00:51:14,203 I slit the sheet, the sheet l slit and on the slitted sheet l sit. 687 00:51:16,767 --> 00:51:20,362 I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that. 688 00:51:21,327 --> 00:51:23,557 You give me confidence in myself. 689 00:51:24,967 --> 00:51:28,801 I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days... 690 00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:33,080 ...but to me, it seems like nine weeks and five days. 691 00:51:34,847 --> 00:51:37,441 The first day seemed like a week. 692 00:51:38,87 --> 00:51:41,477 And the second day seemed like five days. 693 00:51:41,847 --> 00:51:44,361 And the third day seemed like a week again. 694 00:51:44,687 --> 00:51:47,918 And the fourth day seemed like eight days. 695 00:51:48,407 --> 00:51:51,558 But the fifth day you went to see your mother... 696 00:51:51,847 --> 00:51:54,202 ...and that seemed just like a day. 697 00:51:54,567 --> 00:51:57,604 But then you came back, and later... 698 00:51:58,127 --> 00:52:01,119 ...on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other... 699 00:52:01,247 --> 00:52:04,922 ...that started seeming like two days. 700 00:52:05,407 --> 00:52:08,877 So in the evening, it seemed like two days spilling into the next day... 701 00:52:08,967 --> 00:52:13,438 ...and that started seeming like four days. So, at the end of the sixth day... 702 00:52:13,527 --> 00:52:17,202 ...on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. 703 00:52:17,927 --> 00:52:23,047 And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. 704 00:52:24,607 --> 00:52:29,044 I have it written down, but l can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. 705 00:52:29,727 --> 00:52:33,561 Anyway, l've decided that tomorrow... 706 00:52:34,287 --> 00:52:39,156 ...when the time is right, l'm going to ask you to marry me. 707 00:52:41,287 --> 00:52:45,075 If that's okay with you, just don't say anything. 708 00:52:49,647 --> 00:52:51,638 You've made me very happy. 709 00:52:58,887 --> 00:53:03,836 "Oh, l'll see you again 710 00:53:04,47 --> 00:53:08,598 "Whenever spring breaks through again" 711 00:53:09,47 --> 00:53:10,480 Honey, sing!. 712 00:53:12,767 --> 00:53:15,839 "Time may lie heavy between 713 00:53:16,167 --> 00:53:18,123 "But what has been 714 00:53:18,207 --> 00:53:21,677 "ls past forgetting 715 00:53:22,167 --> 00:53:26,206 "This sweet memory 716 00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:31,805 "Across the years will come to me 717 00:53:32,527 --> 00:53:36,600 "Though my world may go awry 718 00:53:37,327 --> 00:53:41,878 "ln my heart will ever lie 719 00:53:42,727 --> 00:53:47,198 "Just the echo of a sigh 720 00:53:50,847 --> 00:53:52,360 "Good-bye" 721 00:53:53,207 --> 00:53:56,836 Honey, who's the happiest guy in the world? 722 00:53:58,7 --> 00:53:59,042 You are!. 723 00:53:59,647 --> 00:54:03,606 That's right!. And who's the happiest gal? 724 00:54:05,847 --> 00:54:07,565 That's right. 725 00:54:07,647 --> 00:54:11,117 Honey, guess what? l wrote a song for you this morning: 726 00:54:11,247 --> 00:54:15,638 "Oh, l'm picking out a thermos for you 727 00:54:15,727 --> 00:54:19,322 "Not an ordinary thermos for you 728 00:54:19,527 --> 00:54:23,156 "But the extra best thermos you can buy 729 00:54:23,287 --> 00:54:26,677 "With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in 730 00:54:26,767 --> 00:54:30,555 "l'm picking out a thermos for you 731 00:54:30,647 --> 00:54:33,798 "And maybe a barometer too 732 00:54:33,887 --> 00:54:37,675 "And what else can l buy so on me you'll rely 733 00:54:37,767 --> 00:54:40,327 "A rear-end thermometer too" 734 00:54:40,407 --> 00:54:44,320 Honey!. There's a question l've been wanting to pop but... 735 00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:46,563 ...l've been afraid you'd say no. 736 00:54:46,887 --> 00:54:51,165 But this seems like the right time and place, so here goes. 737 00:54:52,167 --> 00:54:54,920 Honey, will you marry me? 738 00:54:58,407 --> 00:55:02,878 Come on, let's seal it with a kiss!. Get in the tub with me!. 739 00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:06,686 Not you, Shithead. Where's Marie? 740 00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,166 What letter? 741 00:55:16,727 --> 00:55:18,319 "Dear...." 742 00:55:34,567 --> 00:55:36,159 Marie!. 743 00:55:36,807 --> 00:55:40,083 Shithead!. Come here!. Good idea!. 744 00:55:42,47 --> 00:55:43,241 Why did you leave me? 745 00:55:43,327 --> 00:55:45,966 I couldn't read the letter!. It was too blurry!. 746 00:55:48,527 --> 00:55:49,755 Here, boy. 747 00:55:56,87 --> 00:55:57,998 Where are you? 748 00:56:13,967 --> 00:56:16,003 This is not going to be easy, Shithead. 749 00:56:17,247 --> 00:56:19,317 We've been together a long time. 750 00:56:19,927 --> 00:56:22,316 But l've got to head down that road. 751 00:56:23,607 --> 00:56:27,600 There'll be times out there when there won't be enough food for two. 752 00:56:27,887 --> 00:56:29,286 And l won't be able to-- 753 00:56:29,927 --> 00:56:31,326 Wait a minute. 754 00:56:31,407 --> 00:56:32,760 I'm not done yet. 755 00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:34,758 Come back, l'm not finished. 756 00:56:34,847 --> 00:56:36,678 I have some more to tell ya. 757 00:56:39,247 --> 00:56:41,841 You'll find a family who can give you a real home... 758 00:56:41,927 --> 00:56:44,964 ...with loving kids and a warm fireplace. 759 00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,278 I never liked you, anyway. 760 00:56:47,447 --> 00:56:49,483 Now get out of here!. 761 00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:53,244 Okay, okay!. You win!. You can go with me. 762 00:56:57,167 --> 00:57:00,477 "And so, Mom, with my faithful dog leading the way... 763 00:57:00,887 --> 00:57:03,526 "...l'm out to win the hand ofMarie. 764 00:57:03,647 --> 00:57:08,641 "You'd love her, Mom. She looksjust like you, except she's white and blonde. 765 00:57:09,127 --> 00:57:12,483 "So, to win her back, l've vowed to make something of myself. 766 00:57:12,567 --> 00:57:16,958 "l settled in Los Angeles, took the money l saved and rented my fiirst apartment. 767 00:57:17,607 --> 00:57:19,404 "l haven't heard from Marie. 768 00:57:20,367 --> 00:57:24,121 "Things couldn't be worse. I can only send you 49 cents this week..." 769 00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:26,880 -Bless his heart. -That's a good boy. 770 00:57:26,967 --> 00:57:29,527 "...as l've lost all my jobs. 771 00:57:29,967 --> 00:57:33,880 "l've been eating well. The hospital gives out free orange juice and cookies... 772 00:57:33,967 --> 00:57:36,765 "...and all l have to do is give them a pint of blood. 773 00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:40,563 "l ate there all week, three times a day." 774 00:57:40,687 --> 00:57:41,563 Pint of blood? 775 00:57:41,647 --> 00:57:46,198 "l quit when l cut myself shaving and nothing came out but air. 776 00:57:47,647 --> 00:57:51,925 "l have to go now as someone is staring at me through binoculars. 777 00:57:52,7 --> 00:57:53,838 "Your loving son, Navin." 778 00:57:57,207 --> 00:57:58,879 It's him. 779 00:58:05,567 --> 00:58:06,716 Him. 780 00:58:11,367 --> 00:58:14,882 What's him doing here? Shithead!. Shithead!. 781 00:58:16,127 --> 00:58:18,083 Attack!. Attack!. 782 00:58:19,327 --> 00:58:21,079 Not me!. 783 00:58:22,567 --> 00:58:24,398 Get off, Shithead!. 784 00:59:20,567 --> 00:59:22,797 You're going to have to sign for this. 785 00:59:25,207 --> 00:59:27,402 I have to sign before you shoot me? 786 00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:29,558 I'm not gonna shoot ya!. 787 00:59:30,727 --> 00:59:33,241 -Why not? -That was the old me. 788 00:59:33,327 --> 00:59:35,602 I was a little mixed up at that time. 789 00:59:35,727 --> 00:59:39,197 Had a bad marriage, and l just gave up smoking. 790 00:59:39,447 --> 00:59:41,119 I'm okay now. 791 00:59:42,167 --> 00:59:44,044 I'm a private detective. 792 00:59:51,7 --> 00:59:53,316 -So long. -Thank you. 793 01:00:01,127 --> 01:00:03,243 "Dear Mr. Johnson... 794 01:00:04,127 --> 01:00:06,436 "...please call on me, in Suite... 795 01:00:07,647 --> 01:00:11,242 "...2655 at the Century Plaza Tower... 796 01:00:11,727 --> 01:00:13,126 "...in Los Angeles. 797 01:00:14,127 --> 01:00:18,917 "l have something ofgreat importance to impart to you." 798 01:00:19,687 --> 01:00:22,121 Navin!. Remember me? 799 01:00:23,127 --> 01:00:25,641 -No, but don't feel bad. -Fox. 800 01:00:27,47 --> 01:00:28,685 Stan Fox!. 801 01:00:28,767 --> 01:00:30,883 Remember the gas station? 802 01:00:31,87 --> 01:00:35,285 Boy, you are one hard guy to find!. 803 01:00:38,47 --> 01:00:39,605 You don't remember me. 804 01:00:41,327 --> 01:00:43,557 The glasses handle!. Look!. 805 01:00:45,647 --> 01:00:46,921 Yeah. 806 01:00:47,407 --> 01:00:50,001 -My glasses handle. -Use the Opti-Grab. 807 01:00:50,487 --> 01:00:53,285 -"Opti-Grab"? -Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab. 808 01:00:53,367 --> 01:00:55,961 -Opti-Grab. -"Opti," from the eye... 809 01:00:56,87 --> 01:00:58,681 ...and "grab," from where you grab it!. 810 01:00:59,7 --> 01:01:00,804 Opti-grabbing it!. 811 01:01:00,887 --> 01:01:02,764 Navin, my boy, we're in business!. 812 01:01:03,7 --> 01:01:05,680 Fifty-fifty, just like we said. 813 01:01:05,847 --> 01:01:08,759 Right in here l have your first check... 814 01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:12,040 ...for two hundred and fifty big ones. 815 01:01:12,607 --> 01:01:14,120 Two-fifty? 816 01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:17,525 That's just the beginning. There's gonna be more. Lots more!. 817 01:01:17,887 --> 01:01:19,400 Can l cash this? 818 01:01:19,527 --> 01:01:23,486 You can do whatever you like. It's your money. It's a cashier's check. 819 01:01:23,887 --> 01:01:25,286 I can use money!. 820 01:01:25,687 --> 01:01:30,556 Yes, l have a cashier's check, and l'd like to cash it. 821 01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:32,405 How much is it for? 822 01:01:32,567 --> 01:01:36,765 Two hundred and fifty big ones. 823 01:01:40,767 --> 01:01:43,839 Two hundred and fifty dollareenies. 824 01:01:46,207 --> 01:01:49,836 That's two hundred and fifty doughnuts. 825 01:01:52,527 --> 01:01:54,085 You want to cash this? 826 01:01:54,287 --> 01:01:56,596 Well, l could take fifty of the doughnuts... 827 01:01:56,687 --> 01:01:59,599 ...and deposit the other two-hundred beauties. 828 01:01:59,727 --> 01:02:03,402 -Have a seat, Mr. Johnson. -Thank you. 829 01:02:04,607 --> 01:02:06,757 I will need two pieces of identification. 830 01:02:06,847 --> 01:02:11,602 Yes. I have my temporary driver's license... 831 01:02:12,807 --> 01:02:16,766 ...and my astronaut application form. 832 01:02:17,927 --> 01:02:21,636 I didn't pass that, though. I failed everything but the date of birth. 833 01:02:21,767 --> 01:02:23,325 Didn't get the job. 834 01:02:23,527 --> 01:02:27,918 Everything's in order. If you'll just endorse this there. 835 01:02:28,527 --> 01:02:30,119 -I need a pen. -Pen. Okay. 836 01:02:30,207 --> 01:02:32,198 -Right here. -Thank you. 837 01:02:33,527 --> 01:02:36,644 Fill out this deposit slip right there. 838 01:02:37,207 --> 01:02:40,995 The endorsing and filling out of the deposit slip. 839 01:02:41,287 --> 01:02:45,200 Two-hundred and fifty... 840 01:02:45,567 --> 01:02:47,478 ...thousand-- 841 01:02:58,927 --> 01:03:01,646 "Dear Harry, guess what? 842 01:03:01,767 --> 01:03:03,803 "l'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. 843 01:03:04,47 --> 01:03:07,676 "But l haven't forgotten our deal. Here's that postcard l promised you. 844 01:03:07,767 --> 01:03:10,281 "l bet you thought you'd never get it. 845 01:03:10,447 --> 01:03:12,563 "Your friend forever, Navin." 846 01:03:12,807 --> 01:03:14,320 How do you like that? 847 01:03:14,647 --> 01:03:17,445 He promised me a postcard, and he sent me a postcard. 848 01:03:18,167 --> 01:03:19,646 Kid has integrity. 849 01:03:37,87 --> 01:03:39,123 Shithead, come on. 850 01:03:53,127 --> 01:03:55,721 Hello? Yes? 851 01:03:56,367 --> 01:03:59,086 Who? Mrs. Kimball? 852 01:04:00,807 --> 01:04:02,445 You're Marie's mom!. 853 01:04:03,247 --> 01:04:05,283 You read about me in the paper? 854 01:04:05,367 --> 01:04:07,961 I've been trying to reach her, l don't know where she is. 855 01:04:08,47 --> 01:04:10,083 I'd give anything to find out. 856 01:04:11,87 --> 01:04:12,884 Well, that sounds a little high. 857 01:04:13,287 --> 01:04:15,039 How about $75? 858 01:04:16,7 --> 01:04:18,567 Okay, what is it? 859 01:04:19,47 --> 01:04:21,481 The May Company in Los Angeles. 860 01:04:21,567 --> 01:04:24,718 Shithead!. I know where she is!. I know where she is!. 861 01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:26,997 Now, doesn't that feel good? 862 01:04:30,7 --> 01:04:32,362 There now, we are complete. 863 01:04:34,487 --> 01:04:36,876 Putting on Mask-O-Derm just took a few minutes... 864 01:04:36,967 --> 01:04:39,527 ...and when we peel it off he'll look 20 years younger. 865 01:04:39,607 --> 01:04:41,040 Alevai. 866 01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:42,765 Yes, exactly. 867 01:04:42,847 --> 01:04:48,046 Now, we'll let this dry. In the meantime, we can pick out an eye shadow and lip tint. 868 01:04:48,127 --> 01:04:50,083 Everyone follow me this way... 869 01:04:50,167 --> 01:04:53,682 ...because this is a very interesting line. I think you'll enjoy this. 870 01:04:53,767 --> 01:04:58,283 With your husband's coloring, a deep tone would bring out his lips. 871 01:04:58,367 --> 01:05:02,519 This Nature Beige will feature his eyes just wonderfully. 872 01:05:02,607 --> 01:05:04,438 Let's try everything. 873 01:05:07,327 --> 01:05:08,555 What? 874 01:05:10,367 --> 01:05:14,280 Let's go unmask lrving. Everyone, back this way. 875 01:05:14,527 --> 01:05:17,678 We are now going to peel off our Mask-O-Derm. 876 01:05:17,767 --> 01:05:22,045 Irving's skin will be tighter, firmer and he'll look like a different man. 877 01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:23,924 You'll be amazed. 878 01:05:24,367 --> 01:05:26,323 Get ready, lrving!. 879 01:05:40,247 --> 01:05:43,159 This shit really worked. 880 01:05:49,727 --> 01:05:51,683 My sweetheart. 881 01:05:52,167 --> 01:05:55,000 What are you doing to my husband, you Miss Blondie? 882 01:05:55,87 --> 01:05:57,317 Irving, are you crazy? 883 01:05:57,407 --> 01:06:00,558 "Dear Mom, the big news is: Marie and l were married. 884 01:06:00,647 --> 01:06:02,080 "We couldn't wait. 885 01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:07,366 "We found someone at the Hollywood View Apartments who could do it immediately. 886 01:06:07,447 --> 01:06:09,563 "He was a certifiiedpriest. 887 01:06:12,167 --> 01:06:14,522 "We were both glad we had a religious wedding. 888 01:06:15,47 --> 01:06:17,402 "Money hasn't changed our lives that much. 889 01:06:17,687 --> 01:06:21,236 "Our one little extravagance is a live-in butler and housekeeper." 890 01:06:21,367 --> 01:06:25,280 -Another check!. -Just as l thought. 891 01:06:25,367 --> 01:06:28,564 Look at that. Nearly $750,000. 892 01:06:28,687 --> 01:06:33,078 With this kind of income, you could buy a larger house with servants' quarters. 893 01:06:33,407 --> 01:06:37,320 "Well, Mom, remember my dream of owning a big house on a hill... 894 01:06:37,447 --> 01:06:42,202 "...and how l used to wish for a living room with a plaster lion in it from Mexico? 895 01:06:42,287 --> 01:06:45,836 "And how l always wanted a large 24-seat dining table... 896 01:06:45,927 --> 01:06:51,160 "...in a dining room with original paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt? 897 01:06:51,487 --> 01:06:53,921 "And remember how l always wanted a rotating bed... 898 01:06:54,7 --> 01:06:56,919 "...with pink chiffon and zebra stripes? 899 01:06:57,7 --> 01:06:59,680 "And remember how l used to chitchat with dad about... 900 01:06:59,807 --> 01:07:02,879 "...always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam... 901 01:07:03,7 --> 01:07:05,760 "...and an offiice with orange and white stripes? 902 01:07:05,847 --> 01:07:10,523 "Remember how much l wanted an all red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel... 903 01:07:10,687 --> 01:07:14,362 "...and how l wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers... 904 01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:17,245 "...and a party room with fancy friends? 905 01:07:17,887 --> 01:07:21,436 "And remember how much l wanted a big backyard with Grecian statues... 906 01:07:21,527 --> 01:07:24,121 "...S-shaped hedges, and three swimming pools? 907 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,198 "Well, l got that too. 908 01:07:28,607 --> 01:07:30,996 "Marie and l are getting along swell... 909 01:07:31,327 --> 01:07:34,876 "...but l've got a lot to learn about handling my money and banks. 910 01:07:35,207 --> 01:07:36,925 "You have to be careful. 911 01:07:38,567 --> 01:07:40,205 "Poor Hobart. 912 01:07:40,367 --> 01:07:43,325 "His dear wife Hester took money out of her savings account... 913 01:07:43,407 --> 01:07:46,604 "...and had to pay a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 914 01:07:51,127 --> 01:07:54,278 "Enclosed is this week's check. Love, Navin." 915 01:07:55,47 --> 01:07:57,083 Sorry about your wife, Hobart. 916 01:07:57,167 --> 01:07:59,362 Federal regulations, sir. 917 01:08:00,7 --> 01:08:01,281 Dear me. 918 01:08:01,527 --> 01:08:05,600 Your wife has given you another gold chain. 919 01:08:06,447 --> 01:08:08,165 I'd nearly forgotten. 920 01:08:08,527 --> 01:08:11,917 I suppose l'm still not quite over Hester's death. 921 01:08:12,7 --> 01:08:13,838 Well, these things take time. 922 01:08:13,927 --> 01:08:15,963 Yes, so l'm told. 923 01:08:16,47 --> 01:08:19,835 Here's your drink, sir. Like the one you saw in the magazine. 924 01:08:19,927 --> 01:08:22,316 You got the bamboo umbrella and everything. 925 01:08:25,607 --> 01:08:28,679 See that? "Be somebody." 926 01:08:31,327 --> 01:08:33,761 Very good, sir. Very good. 927 01:08:36,407 --> 01:08:39,080 There are some charity people here to see you, sir. 928 01:08:39,167 --> 01:08:41,806 No!. Send them away!. 929 01:08:41,887 --> 01:08:44,276 There's a lot of people more deserving than me!. 930 01:08:44,367 --> 01:08:47,200 But these people want you to give. 931 01:08:51,767 --> 01:08:52,802 Okay. 932 01:08:52,927 --> 01:08:56,317 My name is Father Carlos Las Vegas De Cordoba. 933 01:08:56,967 --> 01:08:59,401 Father, you seem like a religious man. 934 01:08:59,887 --> 01:09:01,240 How can l help you? 935 01:09:01,327 --> 01:09:05,002 By giving me three minutes of your time so that you can see some film... 936 01:09:05,87 --> 01:09:08,477 ...of a great ugliness that is spreading in my country. 937 01:09:09,367 --> 01:09:12,086 God. I'll bet it's disgusting. 938 01:09:12,967 --> 01:09:14,798 -Hobart? -Yes, sir? 939 01:09:14,887 --> 01:09:17,242 Are you over your grief enough to dim the lights? 940 01:09:17,327 --> 01:09:20,876 Of course, sir. One can't mourn forever. 941 01:09:21,87 --> 01:09:23,999 You will not believe what you are about to see... 942 01:09:24,567 --> 01:09:27,161 ...that human beings could have sunk so low... 943 01:09:27,247 --> 01:09:31,035 ...that they can take pleasure to do this to another of God's creatures. 944 01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:33,601 I hope you have a strong stomach, senor. 945 01:09:33,767 --> 01:09:35,166 Roll the ugliness. 946 01:10:12,727 --> 01:10:16,800 Good Lord. I've heard about this. Cat juggling. 947 01:10:35,647 --> 01:10:38,605 Stop it, stop it, stop it!. 948 01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:40,642 Good. 949 01:10:41,567 --> 01:10:45,765 Father, could there be a God that would let this happen? 950 01:10:46,847 --> 01:10:48,644 How much do you want? 951 01:10:48,807 --> 01:10:52,402 If your initial investment is $500,000... 952 01:10:52,567 --> 01:10:55,161 ...and your apartments are up in March... 953 01:10:55,287 --> 01:10:59,439 ...you should have "x" amount of dollars rolling in by the end of this year. 954 01:10:59,967 --> 01:11:02,527 "x" amount. That's very good, isn't it? 955 01:11:02,607 --> 01:11:05,838 You can depreciate the entire building for the full amount. 956 01:11:05,967 --> 01:11:08,686 Depreciate!. Very good. I like that. 957 01:11:08,767 --> 01:11:11,645 And we've found a way to get around this fair housing crap. 958 01:11:11,887 --> 01:11:14,526 Good!. Getting around the crap. That's good. 959 01:11:15,327 --> 01:11:18,717 By keeping the rents high, we'll appeal to a select class of people. 960 01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,684 Select class. Very good. 961 01:11:21,967 --> 01:11:23,764 We'll keep the eggplants out. 962 01:11:23,847 --> 01:11:26,236 Good. We don't want any vegetables. 963 01:11:26,327 --> 01:11:28,397 No. The jungle bunnies!. 964 01:11:28,607 --> 01:11:30,962 Of course. They'll eat the vegetables. 965 01:11:31,527 --> 01:11:33,722 Boss, could l talk to him? 966 01:11:34,287 --> 01:11:36,357 We're gonna keep out the niggers. 967 01:11:37,7 --> 01:11:37,996 The what? 968 01:11:38,87 --> 01:11:40,157 The niggers. We'll keep 'em out. 969 01:11:40,727 --> 01:11:41,955 -Yes. -Sir... 970 01:11:42,687 --> 01:11:45,076 ...you are talking to a nigger!. 971 01:12:30,447 --> 01:12:32,517 Don't be so hard on yourself. 972 01:12:32,607 --> 01:12:35,519 How could you know that was "lron Balls" McGinty? 973 01:12:36,287 --> 01:12:38,084 Escargot. Salad. 974 01:12:39,447 --> 01:12:42,359 Would Monsieur care for another bottle of the Chรขteau Latour. 975 01:12:42,447 --> 01:12:44,677 Yes, but no more 1966. 976 01:12:44,767 --> 01:12:47,645 Let's splurge. Bring us some fresh wine. 977 01:12:47,727 --> 01:12:49,126 The freshest you've got. 978 01:12:49,207 --> 01:12:51,641 This year's. No more of this old stuff. 979 01:12:52,807 --> 01:12:54,206 Oui, Monsieur. 980 01:12:54,687 --> 01:12:58,123 He doesn't realize he's dealing with sophisticated people here. 981 01:12:58,647 --> 01:13:00,285 Marie, just stay calm. 982 01:13:00,687 --> 01:13:01,836 Don't look down. 983 01:13:01,927 --> 01:13:05,636 Don't look down. Look up. Keep your eyes up and keep 'em that way. 984 01:13:05,807 --> 01:13:06,762 Waiter. 985 01:13:09,207 --> 01:13:11,675 There are snails on her plate. 986 01:13:14,127 --> 01:13:16,721 Now get them out of here before she sees them!. 987 01:13:16,967 --> 01:13:19,037 Look away!. Keep your eyes that way!. 988 01:13:19,767 --> 01:13:23,806 You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this you'd be able to keep the snails... 989 01:13:23,887 --> 01:13:25,605 ...off the food!. 990 01:13:25,687 --> 01:13:28,520 There are so many snails in there you can't see the food. 991 01:13:28,607 --> 01:13:32,236 Remove them!. Bring me the cheese sandwich appetizers you talked me out of. 992 01:13:32,327 --> 01:13:33,760 Oui, Monsieur. 993 01:13:34,967 --> 01:13:36,320 Can you believe this? 994 01:13:36,407 --> 01:13:40,116 First they didn't have umbrellas for the wine, now snails on the food. 995 01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:42,960 Two boobs. That's what he takes us for. 996 01:13:54,207 --> 01:13:56,323 -Hi, honey. -Hi, doll face. 997 01:13:56,407 --> 01:13:57,635 Everything okay? 998 01:13:57,767 --> 01:14:01,646 Remember how you told me to take unnecessary lessons? 999 01:14:01,807 --> 01:14:03,843 Well, l just took a lesson. 1000 01:14:04,7 --> 01:14:06,475 And a very good student too. Adios, senora. 1001 01:14:07,207 --> 01:14:08,925 You took bullfighting? 1002 01:14:09,7 --> 01:14:11,077 No. Knife-throwing. 1003 01:14:12,367 --> 01:14:13,846 Knife-throwing's great!. 1004 01:14:13,927 --> 01:14:17,203 -I can almost do it. -Well, let me see your stuff!. 1005 01:14:17,367 --> 01:14:18,561 Okay. 1006 01:14:19,767 --> 01:14:21,962 This is very good for a beginner. 1007 01:14:24,167 --> 01:14:26,522 This is exciting. I love this!. 1008 01:14:27,207 --> 01:14:28,560 Come on!. 1009 01:14:29,807 --> 01:14:31,877 -Turn sideways... -Okay. 1010 01:14:32,127 --> 01:14:34,243 ...and put a balloon in your mouth. 1011 01:14:34,847 --> 01:14:36,405 Do you have a balloon? 1012 01:14:37,127 --> 01:14:39,800 No. Wait. Yes!. 1013 01:14:41,247 --> 01:14:42,123 Okay. 1014 01:14:43,247 --> 01:14:44,726 Is it in your mouth? 1015 01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:47,600 Throw 'em good and hard, so they'll stick. 1016 01:14:48,847 --> 01:14:50,041 Okay. 1017 01:14:53,207 --> 01:14:54,322 One... 1018 01:14:55,127 --> 01:14:56,401 ...two... 1019 01:14:57,567 --> 01:14:58,682 ...three!. 1020 01:14:59,567 --> 01:15:00,841 Four, five, six!. 1021 01:15:05,487 --> 01:15:06,840 I missed. 1022 01:15:07,127 --> 01:15:08,719 Honey, you did good. 1023 01:15:09,287 --> 01:15:11,517 I can't do anything right. 1024 01:15:12,367 --> 01:15:15,006 Honey, you worry too much. 1025 01:15:16,167 --> 01:15:19,762 Come on. Let's flop this over and look at it another way. 1026 01:15:19,847 --> 01:15:22,680 Do you realize that in the past two short months... 1027 01:15:22,767 --> 01:15:28,000 ...we have acquired the sophistication it takes some people a lifetime to acquire? 1028 01:15:28,287 --> 01:15:29,720 Come on!. 1029 01:15:30,167 --> 01:15:31,680 Let's toast!. 1030 01:16:26,887 --> 01:16:30,402 Everybody, Navin's on TV. Marie, it's Navin!. 1031 01:16:30,647 --> 01:16:33,400 Look, honey, here's that interview you did on TV. 1032 01:16:33,687 --> 01:16:35,245 Shut off the music!. 1033 01:16:36,407 --> 01:16:39,046 Everyone, we're going to watch Navin on the TV. 1034 01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:42,324 Sit down, sit down. On the floor. Sit around. 1035 01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:45,526 American Time news magazine turns its probing eye... 1036 01:16:45,607 --> 01:16:48,565 ...on Navin Johnson, the inventor ofthe Opti-Grab... 1037 01:16:48,807 --> 01:16:53,119 ...that little glasses handle that sold 10 million units in a few short months. 1038 01:16:53,927 --> 01:16:58,000 Mr. Johnson, you've become a millionaire overnight. Who are you? 1039 01:16:59,687 --> 01:17:01,678 Who is Navin Johnson? 1040 01:17:02,727 --> 01:17:05,924 Navin is a complex personality, as are most ofthe... 1041 01:17:06,7 --> 01:17:09,522 ...small breed of modern-day renaissance millionaires. 1042 01:17:10,127 --> 01:17:13,278 We hadplanned to show you the entire Johnson interview. 1043 01:17:13,447 --> 01:17:17,076 However, when we returned to our studio, our news department informed us... 1044 01:17:17,167 --> 01:17:20,398 ...ofa sensational development in the Johnson story. 1045 01:17:20,647 --> 01:17:23,002 It seems that an irate group of citizens... 1046 01:17:23,87 --> 01:17:25,760 ...led by the celebrity, Mr. Carl Reiner... 1047 01:17:25,847 --> 01:17:29,840 ...has fiiled a class action suit against Mr. Johnson and his Opti-Grab. 1048 01:17:30,247 --> 01:17:33,239 Here's what Mr. Reiner had to say at a press conference: 1049 01:17:33,327 --> 01:17:36,524 When Opti-Grab came out l thought it was the greatest thing ever. 1050 01:17:36,607 --> 01:17:40,077 And l bought a pair. And this is the result. 1051 01:17:41,527 --> 01:17:45,236 This little handle is like a magnet. Your eyes are drawn to it... 1052 01:17:45,447 --> 01:17:47,403 ...and you end up cockeyed. 1053 01:17:47,847 --> 01:17:50,998 Now, as a director, l am constantly using my eyes... 1054 01:17:51,127 --> 01:17:55,166 ...and this Opti-Grab device has caused irreparable harm to my career. 1055 01:17:55,287 --> 01:17:57,562 Let me show you a clip from my latest fiilm... 1056 01:17:57,647 --> 01:18:02,084 ...where my faulty depth perception kept me from yelling "cut" at the right time. 1057 01:18:05,327 --> 01:18:06,237 Cut! 1058 01:18:14,727 --> 01:18:19,164 Ifl had yelled "cut" on time, those actors would be alive today. 1059 01:18:19,887 --> 01:18:24,119 That's why l am spearheading the $10 million class action suit... 1060 01:18:24,207 --> 01:18:27,882 ...against Mr. Johnson, and his irresponsible selling ofa product... 1061 01:18:27,967 --> 01:18:30,481 ...he didn't even test on prisoners! 1062 01:18:31,407 --> 01:18:33,841 -Thank you. -Party's over!. 1063 01:18:36,807 --> 01:18:38,798 Wait a second. Where you going? 1064 01:18:39,927 --> 01:18:42,521 I'm gonna get in touch with that Reiner guy. 1065 01:18:43,727 --> 01:18:45,843 I got some change upstairs. 1066 01:18:45,927 --> 01:18:48,805 We'll get some potato chips and there's some beer up there. 1067 01:18:48,887 --> 01:18:50,957 We'll make it a less formal thing. 1068 01:18:52,527 --> 01:18:54,518 Let's find another party. 1069 01:18:57,407 --> 01:19:00,365 Honey!. Why the gloom? 1070 01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:02,643 This is not the end of the rainbow. 1071 01:19:04,87 --> 01:19:06,157 I'm Navin Johnson, inventor!. 1072 01:19:06,287 --> 01:19:09,199 This is no big deal. This is a parking ticket to me. 1073 01:19:09,567 --> 01:19:12,286 Only instead of $5, it's $10 million. 1074 01:19:13,607 --> 01:19:16,565 I don't care about losing all the money. 1075 01:19:16,887 --> 01:19:19,447 It's losing all the stuff. 1076 01:19:20,607 --> 01:19:22,723 We're not gonna lose the stuff. 1077 01:19:24,47 --> 01:19:25,765 This is America!. 1078 01:19:25,847 --> 01:19:29,601 We're going to receive a fair trial from an impartial jury!. 1079 01:19:31,47 --> 01:19:34,323 Your honor, we, the jury, find for the plaintiff. 1080 01:19:39,487 --> 01:19:42,047 I award to Mr. Reiner... 1081 01:19:42,607 --> 01:19:44,484 ...and the other 9 million... 1082 01:19:44,687 --> 01:19:47,281 ...987 thousand... 1083 01:19:47,367 --> 01:19:49,756 ...652 plaintiffs... 1084 01:19:50,367 --> 01:19:52,358 ...the full amount of the suit. 1085 01:19:54,247 --> 01:19:55,999 Court is adjourned. 1086 01:20:02,47 --> 01:20:04,880 -Navin. -Honey, can't you see l'm drinking? 1087 01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:13,997 Pay to the order of... 1088 01:20:14,927 --> 01:20:17,122 ...Mrs. Wilbur Stark... 1089 01:20:18,447 --> 01:20:20,836 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1090 01:20:36,727 --> 01:20:38,524 Pay to the order of... 1091 01:20:39,607 --> 01:20:42,360 ..."lron Balls" McGinty... 1092 01:20:43,767 --> 01:20:46,156 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1093 01:20:48,47 --> 01:20:51,244 Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress? 1094 01:20:51,367 --> 01:20:55,519 Because l just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were. 1095 01:20:55,807 --> 01:20:58,446 -What was it? -The Way We Were. 1096 01:20:59,7 --> 01:21:01,521 Look at us. We've hit bottom. 1097 01:21:01,607 --> 01:21:05,566 No!. Maybe you've hit bottom, but l haven't hit bottom yet!. 1098 01:21:05,967 --> 01:21:07,366 I got a ways to go!. 1099 01:21:08,647 --> 01:21:11,559 I'm gonna bounce back, and when l do... 1100 01:21:12,7 --> 01:21:15,283 ...l'm gonna buy you a diamond so big... 1101 01:21:15,367 --> 01:21:17,642 ...it's gonna make you puke!. 1102 01:21:18,287 --> 01:21:22,075 I don't want to puke!. I don't want wealth!. 1103 01:21:22,487 --> 01:21:25,524 I just want you like you used to be. 1104 01:21:25,767 --> 01:21:27,644 What happened to that man? 1105 01:21:27,887 --> 01:21:29,081 Me? 1106 01:21:29,607 --> 01:21:32,041 What happened to the girl l believed in? 1107 01:21:32,687 --> 01:21:34,564 The girl l fell in love with? 1108 01:21:34,647 --> 01:21:36,524 The girl that believed in me? 1109 01:21:38,167 --> 01:21:40,397 There's plenty of places l can go... 1110 01:21:40,527 --> 01:21:42,199 ...where people believe in me. 1111 01:21:42,287 --> 01:21:45,199 So go. The sooner you're out of my life... 1112 01:21:45,287 --> 01:21:49,200 ...the sooner l can go back to being the girl in this little flowered dress... 1113 01:21:49,287 --> 01:21:53,280 ...that you sang the "Thermos Song" to. 1114 01:21:53,727 --> 01:21:55,843 Well, l'm gonna go, then. 1115 01:21:56,487 --> 01:22:00,082 I don't need any of this!. I don't need this stuff!. 1116 01:22:00,167 --> 01:22:03,159 And l don't need you!. I don't need anything!. 1117 01:22:04,327 --> 01:22:05,760 Except this. 1118 01:22:06,127 --> 01:22:09,199 This ashtray. That's the only thing l need is this!. 1119 01:22:10,727 --> 01:22:12,445 I don't need this or this!. 1120 01:22:12,607 --> 01:22:14,199 Just this ashtray!. 1121 01:22:15,527 --> 01:22:17,324 And this paddle game. 1122 01:22:18,287 --> 01:22:21,279 The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all l need. 1123 01:22:21,607 --> 01:22:24,485 And this remote control. 1124 01:22:24,807 --> 01:22:28,686 The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control. That's all l need. 1125 01:22:30,767 --> 01:22:32,598 And these matches. 1126 01:22:33,607 --> 01:22:38,397 The ashtray, these matches the remote control and the paddle ball. 1127 01:22:40,487 --> 01:22:41,761 And this lamp. 1128 01:22:43,807 --> 01:22:45,035 The ashtray... 1129 01:22:46,207 --> 01:22:49,802 ...this paddle game, the remote control... 1130 01:22:51,47 --> 01:22:53,356 ...and the lamp, and that's all l need. 1131 01:22:56,7 --> 01:22:57,838 And that's all l need, too!. 1132 01:22:58,687 --> 01:23:00,996 I don't need one other thing!. 1133 01:23:01,367 --> 01:23:03,278 Not one. I need this. 1134 01:23:05,287 --> 01:23:07,323 The paddle game, the chair... 1135 01:23:07,727 --> 01:23:11,686 ...the remote control and the matches, for sure. 1136 01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:15,483 What are you looking at? 1137 01:23:16,367 --> 01:23:19,962 What do you think l am, some kind of a jerk or something? 1138 01:23:26,167 --> 01:23:27,156 And this. 1139 01:23:29,207 --> 01:23:30,799 That's all l need. 1140 01:23:31,687 --> 01:23:36,442 Except the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game... 1141 01:23:36,527 --> 01:23:39,166 ...this magazine and the chair. 1142 01:23:45,207 --> 01:23:48,916 I don't need one other thing. Except my dog. 1143 01:23:51,847 --> 01:23:53,644 Well, l don't need my dog. 1144 01:24:59,287 --> 01:25:01,323 So, that's it. 1145 01:25:02,447 --> 01:25:06,360 It's an old story, one you've probably heard before. 1146 01:25:08,727 --> 01:25:11,161 But l never thought it would happen to me. 1147 01:25:24,447 --> 01:25:27,564 Any of you bums ever heard of Navin R. Johnson? 1148 01:25:30,7 --> 01:25:31,406 I've heard of him. 1149 01:25:31,607 --> 01:25:33,086 Born in Mississippi? 1150 01:25:35,167 --> 01:25:37,078 The inventor of the Opti-Grab? 1151 01:25:37,327 --> 01:25:39,636 I was just telling these guys!. 1152 01:25:41,327 --> 01:25:42,646 Son!. 1153 01:25:44,7 --> 01:25:45,201 Daddy!. 1154 01:25:46,887 --> 01:25:47,797 Navin. 1155 01:25:48,7 --> 01:25:49,520 -Mama!. -My baby!. 1156 01:25:51,607 --> 01:25:53,802 I knew we'd find you!. 1157 01:25:55,487 --> 01:25:57,239 -Taj!. -Don't kiss me!. 1158 01:26:02,807 --> 01:26:04,877 I called them the night you left. 1159 01:26:05,567 --> 01:26:06,920 How'd you find me? 1160 01:26:07,7 --> 01:26:09,396 I don't know. This is the first place we looked. 1161 01:26:09,487 --> 01:26:11,876 We're taking you home and you're living with us. 1162 01:26:11,967 --> 01:26:14,242 Turns out dad's a financial genius. 1163 01:26:14,367 --> 01:26:17,325 All l did was take the money you sent home... 1164 01:26:17,487 --> 01:26:21,639 ...and embarked on a periodic investment in a no-load mutual fund. 1165 01:26:21,727 --> 01:26:25,481 He leveraged his ass deep into soy beans and cocoa futures. 1166 01:26:25,807 --> 01:26:27,081 Right on. 1167 01:26:28,127 --> 01:26:30,516 I picked out this thermos for you. 1168 01:26:34,927 --> 01:26:38,283 -I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty. -Dirt doesn't bother me. 1169 01:26:39,767 --> 01:26:42,361 But the smell does. 1170 01:26:44,487 --> 01:26:48,196 Son, you'd better get in the back with the dog... 1171 01:26:48,287 --> 01:26:51,199 ...until we can get you hosed down. 1172 01:26:59,407 --> 01:27:03,116 -I love you, Navin!. -I love you, too!. 1173 01:27:04,407 --> 01:27:06,045 Somebody open a window!. 1174 01:27:06,327 --> 01:27:08,204 Open all the windows. 1175 01:27:10,527 --> 01:27:12,597 I was so glad to be going home. 1176 01:27:12,767 --> 01:27:15,122 I remembered the days when l sang and danced... 1177 01:27:15,207 --> 01:27:17,721 ...with my family on the porch ofthe old house. 1178 01:27:17,807 --> 01:27:21,516 But things change, and with all the additions to the family... 1179 01:27:21,767 --> 01:27:25,123 ...we had to tear down the old house, even though we loved it. 1180 01:27:25,207 --> 01:27:27,084 But we built us a bigger one. 1181 01:27:27,887 --> 01:27:30,003 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1182 01:27:30,87 --> 01:27:31,964 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1183 01:27:32,47 --> 01:27:34,641 -"Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1184 01:27:34,727 --> 01:27:37,480 -"Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1185 01:27:50,487 --> 01:27:52,955 -"Me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1186 01:27:53,47 --> 01:27:55,641 -"Well, me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1187 01:28:00,47 --> 01:28:02,277 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1188 01:28:02,367 --> 01:28:04,722 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1189 01:28:08,887 --> 01:28:11,321 -"Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale of cotton 1190 01:28:11,407 --> 01:28:13,602 -"Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale a day 1191 01:28:13,687 --> 01:28:16,121 -"Gonna move all around -"And pick a bale of cotton 1192 01:28:16,207 --> 01:28:18,198 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 1193 01:28:18,287 --> 01:28:20,755 -"Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale of cotton 1194 01:28:20,847 --> 01:28:22,644 -"Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale a day 1195 01:28:22,727 --> 01:28:25,161 -"Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1196 01:28:25,247 --> 01:28:27,442 -"Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1197 01:28:33,247 --> 01:28:34,726 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1198 01:28:34,807 --> 01:28:37,037 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1199 01:28:50,607 --> 01:28:53,565 -"You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1200 01:28:53,647 --> 01:28:56,320 -"You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1201 01:28:59,727 --> 01:29:02,002 "Lordy pick a bale of cotton 1202 01:29:02,87 --> 01:29:04,396 "Lordy pick a bale a day 1203 01:29:04,487 --> 01:29:06,842 -"Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1204 01:29:06,927 --> 01:29:09,236 -"Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1205 01:29:22,927 --> 01:29:25,157 -"Take it!. -"Pick a bale of cotton 1206 01:29:25,327 --> 01:29:27,636 "Pick a bale a day" 1207 01:29:41,87 --> 01:29:43,078 Subtitles by SOFTITLER 1208 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 <font color="#ffff00" size=14>www.moviesubtitles.org</font> 10000 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1209 00:00:14,0 --> 00:00:17,080 182338

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