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1
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And in the remote outer
reaches of the universe,
2
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past civilization as we know it,
3
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:28,331
is a galactic system called, the milky way.
4
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,662
Now this minor galaxy
5
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,923
contains in its backwards area
6
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,542
a rather piddling star
7
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,964
known as: The sun.
8
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:40,639
With a really pitiful array of planets.
9
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,601
So much for our lesson in space geography.
10
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,636
And I hope you all took notes.
11
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,773
They'll be a test first thing
in the century, now then...
12
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:53,738
Where is he?
13
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,356
Well, speak up. Where is kreton?
14
00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,401
During recess, I saw him
kick the ball over cloud 9.
15
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,614
On purpose.
16
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,908
Oh, but he said he'd be right back Mr.
Delton.
17
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,322
Yes, he better be.
18
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,162
I wonder if he's headed...
19
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,087
There again! Oh, no.
20
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,270
That's kreton, alright.
21
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,150
Goofiest driver in the whole school.
22
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,899
Kreton.
23
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,613
Uh-uh, mustn't touch.
24
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,794
Let's go buster, back
here where you belong.
25
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,390
- It's him.
- It's he.
26
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,269
Alright young man, I know
you're there, come out.
27
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,561
Why don't you come in?
28
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,485
Because I'm the teacher
and I said, come out.
29
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,613
Well, I didn't mean any harm, Mr. delton.
30
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,569
You see, Mr. delton? I found my ball.
31
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,485
- Oh, I'll get it.
- Oh, no you don't.
32
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:29,657
Young man, you and I are going to have
7 little heart to heart talk.
33
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,120
Back to your seats all of you.
34
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,913
Not you.
35
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,752
Now then...
36
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,923
You know perfectly well
you've been forbidden to visit,
37
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,884
that odious little planetoid
in the solar system.
38
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,173
But Mr. delton, the earth
isn't a planetoid,
39
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,423
it's a full grown planet, it has
six continents, five oceans, 2 moons...
40
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,141
- One moon.
- One moon?
41
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,098
Well, anyhow, it's my hobby.
42
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,059
See, and well, as I calculate it,
right now down there,
43
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,520
they're having a very interesting
period: The civil war.
44
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,981
Well gee whiz, Mr. Dalton.
Every guy should have a hobby.
45
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,439
Not in your case.
46
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,738
Remember Mars, your last hobby?
47
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,149
We should have never let
you set foot on the place.
48
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,067
Bare, barren, desolate.
49
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,569
Nobody goes there anymore.
50
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,904
No...
51
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,810
Say, maybe if they put
in gambling you know...
52
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,199
Nothing would help.
53
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:15,127
Thanks to your thoughtlessness,
Mars is a dead planet.
54
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:15,960
What good is it?
55
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:16,370
Well, you could...
56
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,293
Now kreton, I want you to write:
57
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:23,673
"I will not visit the earthâ,
10 billion times.
58
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,761
Stay after school a bit, if necessary.
59
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,473
But Mr. delton, I got
a date with the fellas,
60
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,763
to go space skiing.
61
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,803
I got wax on my feet and everything.
62
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,810
10 billion times.
63
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,604
10 billion.
64
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,147
Well.
65
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:48,326
Did he say 10 billion times,
or 10 million times?
66
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:51,287
What's the difference I'll start
with the first time.
67
00:04:53,001 --> 00:05:00,589
L... will... not... visit... the...
68
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,806
He's gone again. Boy, is he in for it.
69
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,525
You mean, "is the earth in for it."
70
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,705
It is...
71
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,253
It is one of them.
72
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,967
Itis. It is.
73
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,890
Hello Mr. mayberry.
74
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,225
I just picked up my costume
for your party tonight.
75
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,185
What are you going as?
76
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,599
General Lee, same as every year.
77
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,607
What are you looking at?
78
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:02,688
A flying saucer.
79
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,863
A what?
80
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:04,905
Didn't you see it?
81
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,275
Well, no sir.
82
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,490
This is the real thing, Conrad.
83
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,778
Look for yourself.
84
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,744
You see it? Do you see it?
85
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,243
Now, Mr. mayberry, there
ain't nothing up there
86
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,703
except a little old cloud.
87
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,242
Oh, give me those.
88
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:22,291
Little old cloud nothing. There she is.
89
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,500
Going round and round and round.
90
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,718
- Let me have another look.
- Just as plain as day.
91
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,925
- Well?
- I'm looking.
92
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,423
What is your considered opinion, Conrad?
93
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,554
You won't get mad?
94
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,140
Well, of course I won't.
95
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,895
Well, Mr. mayberry,
my considered opinion is:
96
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,518
You oughta' see an eye doctor.
97
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,354
You got astigmatism.
98
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,486
Eye doctor!
99
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,311
Well, I gotta get over to spelding's,
100
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,150
I gotta drop these flowers for Ellen.
101
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,484
Astigmatism!
102
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,240
To wear to your party tonight.
103
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,652
Bye-bye.
104
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,702
Oh, my goodness.
105
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,789
It's wiggling like a hula-hoop.
106
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:06,085
George, I fully realise that you are vice
president in charge of programming
107
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,299
but I will not pull my punches.
108
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:13,089
The American public has faith
in Roger Putnam spelding.
109
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,508
And I intend to expose this
flying saucers scare,
110
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,679
once and for all.
111
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,598
On my telecast tonight.
112
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,354
Hello, hello.
113
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:25,601
Rheba, will you please get
off the telephone I'm talking to New York.
114
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,983
I'm sorry dear, I was calling
the mayberry's.
115
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,402
Do you think you he'll need
more mint for the juleps?
116
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,867
Rheba please, I'm talking
to George Abercrombie.
117
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,664
Really? Oh, hello George and goodbye.
118
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,209
Evening, Conrad.
119
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,419
Evening, Mrs. spelding.
120
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,666
Not dressed yet for the party?
121
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,546
Plenty of time, Mrs. spelding.
122
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,549
Oh, darling, there's some terrible force
123
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,888
that just keeps driving
me on and on and on.
124
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,974
Will you just restrain that terrible force
125
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,889
because I'm getting prickly heat again.
126
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,603
Don't forget to dress
for the party, Conrad.
127
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,890
Honey, let's get married right now.
128
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,892
Conrad, as you may have suspected,
129
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,652
I find you sexually attractive,
130
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,648
but you just don't have any... money.
131
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,362
Well, I don't happen to believe in money.
132
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:21,706
Ellen, no marriage til we finish
college and get our degree.
133
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,663
Oh I don't know, maybe
marriage is all I'm fit for.
134
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,919
Breeding.
135
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:31,462
Out in the fields and an hour
later back to the plow.
136
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,136
Carrying my newborn child on my back.
137
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,432
Ellen!
138
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:37,801
If you're going to talk that way,
139
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,720
go where smart talk is appreciated.
140
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,185
Go to a bar or a bus station.
141
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,683
Sometimes I wonder
if all that COD liver ail,
142
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:45,722
wasn't a mistake.
143
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,520
Children were stuffed with it.
144
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,191
And now look at them.
145
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,611
I'd like a big family.
146
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,318
So would I.
147
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,362
Let's start right now.
148
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,698
- Conrad.
- We'll get married.
149
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,622
And then our weekend at the lake.
150
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,744
All I am saying George,
151
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,340
is that it's high time
the American public grew up.
152
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,500
How does it look dear?
153
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,509
George, I am not calling
all of the American public, "boobs,"
154
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,973
only the boobs that believe this dribble.
155
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,434
I'll admit it's a bit daring
156
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,813
but after all, Scarlet was, a hussy.
157
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,181
Rheba, for heaven's sake.
158
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,316
- Hurry, or we'll be late for the party.
- Shh.
159
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,061
Rhett...
160
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,023
I am going as Jefferson Davis.
161
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,486
Now that's final George.
162
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,323
My program goes on the air exactly
as we taped it this morning.
163
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,870
Goodbye.
164
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:47,084
Censorship, the curse
of the intelligent man.
165
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,998
And what are you doing?
166
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,840
He's just giving me a hand, daddy.
167
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,363
He certainly is. Get it out of there.
168
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,968
Her zipper stuck, Mr. spelding.
169
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,712
No man has the right to zip a girl,
170
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,097
until they're engaged.
171
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,220
Oh, I'm sure we can trust Conrad,
172
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,634
he's very mechanical.
173
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,766
Mr. spelding, what do you think
about these ufo reports?
174
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:08,896
Poppycock.
175
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,606
Mr. mayberry doesn't think so.
176
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,984
He swears he saw
an unidentified flying object,
177
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,727
heading towards Richmond
a little while ago.
178
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,072
Bob mayberry saw the Richmond
plane heading towards Richmond.
179
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,691
Mass hysteria that's what it is.
180
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,032
I am laying it on the line
tonight for the American public.
181
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,363
You could be wrong, dear.
182
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,328
Space men. There ain't no such animal.
183
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,956
That's the phrase I'm hitting
them with on my telecast.
184
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,087
Remember that scoop you had about Elvis.
185
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,422
You said he was going into the Navy.
186
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,338
Why don't you go home and get dressed?
187
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,177
Yes, sir. Ouch!
188
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,054
I'll be back soon Ellen.
189
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,510
All right dear.
190
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,683
Some mechanic.
191
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,937
Flying saucer over Richmond.
192
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,567
Now I've heard everything.
There ain't no such animal.
193
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,081
Safe.
194
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,140
Good evening, I wonder
if you could help me?
195
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,551
Am I any where near eh...
196
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,142
Oh, I guess he hasn't learned to read yet.
197
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,003
What's the matter rags? Hungry?
198
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,877
Rheba, when are you going to feed this dog?
199
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,153
I think he's trying to tell you something.
200
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,201
Of course he is, he's trying
to tell me he's hungry.
201
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,825
You see, he's not hungry at all.
202
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,121
- Now, where he ever learn that trick?
- I don't know.
203
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:38,045
Someone at the side door. I'll get it dear.
204
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,713
Rheba, it's almost seven do you mind
turning on the TV set in the living room.
205
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,716
Of course, dear. Any particular channel?
206
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,381
My channel.
207
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,345
I want to watch me. Nobody
else in this house does.
208
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,531
- Yes?
- Good evening, madam.
209
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,034
My name kreton, and
my respects to general Lee.
210
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,998
I should like to see him instantly.
211
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,957
General Lee? Oh, you mean Bob
mayberry down the road.
212
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,716
That's where the party is.
213
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,919
But I'm here for the battle.
214
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,342
Oh, I don't think it will be a brawl,
215
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:31,261
although last year...
216
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,884
We will be leaving in a few minutes.
217
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,136
Why don't you just drive
over with us, Mr. crouton?
218
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,101
Uh, that's kreton. And thank you very much.
219
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,441
TV set warmed up yet?
220
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,819
Just turning it on, dear.
221
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,033
My husband's television program.
He's very popular they tell me.
222
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,362
Oh, really?
223
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,332
- Oh, Mr. kreton?
- Yes?
224
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,630
Do sit down and watch.
225
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,217
Well, television in 1861.
226
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,469
That's funny, I thought it came much later.
227
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,639
- Smoke if you'd like to.
- Thank you.
228
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,981
And stop whatever you're doing.
229
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,531
Yes, stop and reflect a moment.
230
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,322
Are you a thinking man?
231
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,115
Yeah, I think, I'm a thinking man.
232
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,533
Why not review your smoking habits.
233
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,039
Wait, I'm busy thinking.
234
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,165
Do it now.
235
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,158
Yes, sir.
236
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,456
But first... relax.
237
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,338
You mind if I sit down?
238
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,173
Sit down.
239
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,972
Thank you, you're very kind.
240
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,634
Now then, before you light up...
241
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:57,852
Oh, I'm sorry.
242
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,976
Inspect the filter
at the end of your smoke.
243
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:05,026
Look inside... look closely.
244
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,441
What do you see?
245
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,814
Tobacco, what would you see?
246
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,232
Inspect the tobacco.
247
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,950
Try a crumble test.
248
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,945
A crumble test?
249
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,872
Rub the tobacco between your hands.
250
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,287
Now, whiff it.
251
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,672
Wait, I'm still busy crumbling.
252
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,385
Whiff it!
253
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,588
Oh, yes sir.
254
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,505
Does it have that fresh deep down aroma?
255
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,078
Makes you stop and think, doesn't it..
256
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,058
It made me stop and sneeze.
257
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,553
So men just throw that old
smoke of yours away.
258
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,269
And try one of these.
259
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,278
Put it between your lips.
260
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,982
Close your eyes.
261
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,861
Now... light up.
262
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:01,658
Yes... light up... and live.
263
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,160
Light up and live?
264
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,083
Man. I'm going to be burned to death.
265
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,373
You damn yankee.
266
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,089
His name is kreton.
267
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,929
Why can't he walk over there?
Who is he anyway?
268
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,135
Some friend of the mayberry's.
269
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,724
A nice young man.
270
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,439
Oh, confound it. I'm missing me.
271
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,735
This dog has gone nuts. Now scoot, jump.
272
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,415
For several years now
certain lunatics elements,
273
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,623
have proclaimed the existence
of flying saucers.
274
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:50,081
I should like to nail the subject
down once and for all.
275
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:53,210
There ain't no such animal.
276
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:58,389
There is no life on other planets
capable of building spaceships
277
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,434
and to interject a purely American note,
278
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,474
no country in the world but ours,
279
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,563
has the industrial know
how to build such a ship.
280
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,313
Right.
281
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,186
Let me show you some recent photographs
282
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,152
of objects purported to be spaceships.
283
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,241
- Why, president Jefferson Davis.
- Number one.
284
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:21,158
Of all people, I can't tell you
how glad I am to meet you...
285
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,118
Oh, I'm awfully sorry, sir.
286
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,578
For what?
287
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,121
Number two.
288
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,001
Your left side-burn sir...
They, shot it off.
289
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:31,838
Number three.
290
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,294
- Quiet.
- I'm sorry?
291
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,302
I'm trying to listen.
292
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,427
Oh. I'll listen also sir.
293
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,922
And number four.
294
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,683
Optical illusions, every one of them.
295
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,894
Mass hysteria.
296
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,353
That's telling them, eh, boy.
297
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:50,016
Yes, sir. It's too bad, is full of hooey.
298
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,313
Hooey?
299
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,402
Oh well, I believe
that's the expression, sir..
300
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,647
Oris it eh, goofidust?
301
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:59,401
No, hooey! That's it. He is full of hooey.
302
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,825
There's no need for alarm. No need at all.
303
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,162
We shall return to Roger
Putnam spelding, in a moment.
304
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:11,412
But first. Have you inspected
your filter lately.
305
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,002
Smoke supurbo.
306
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,918
Superb tobacco superbly blended
307
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,635
a superb filter.
308
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,755
Mr. president, don't you listen to him.
309
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,506
He'll burn your whiskers off.
310
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:23,598
Oh, stop.
311
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,182
I mean it, sir. He did a job on me.
He burned my head and my face...
312
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,312
You think I'm full of hooey, eh?
313
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,399
Oh, no sir. I didn't say
you were full of hooey,
314
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,025
I said that... that... that...
315
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,230
Well... your not Jefferson Davis.
316
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,823
Your himthatmanon TV.
317
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:43,786
- That Roger pelman sputing.
- Spelding.
318
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,246
I know who I am. The
question is: Who are you?
319
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,832
Oh, no sir. The question is: When am I?
320
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:49,825
When are you?
321
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,544
What I mean is... what year is this?
322
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:53,921
1960.
323
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,331
19607
324
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,338
I'm 99 years off.
325
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,257
What year did you have in mind?
326
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,673
1861. You see, I was on
my way to the civil war
327
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,349
and something went wrong
with the machine,
328
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,934
or my calculations, I don't
know which, but...
329
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:10,225
I landed here 99 years out of my way.
330
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,357
But I never was very good at dates.
331
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,522
Are you trying to pull my leg?
332
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,234
No, sir, but if you'd like me to...
333
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,361
Oh, I've been awfully rude, sir,
334
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,496
I haven't introduced myself.
My name is kreton.
335
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:28,781
I'm from the other side.
336
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,119
The other side of where?
337
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,452
The other side of the universe,
another planet.
338
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,873
Oh, I'm sorry.
339
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,131
Actually, what...
340
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,675
Come on, come on, I know
a trick when I see one.
341
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,128
Now where's the wire
that you did this with?
342
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:49,854
What is this?
343
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:52,855
I'm sorry, I neglected to warn you.
You see,
344
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,939
I can touch you but you mustn't
touch me, you understand?
345
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,649
Look, I'll show you.
346
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,317
You see?
347
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,073
They do exist and you're one of them.
348
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,157
Well, you... you come from out there.
349
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,158
That's it, yes indeed.
350
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:15,457
But that's our little secret
now, isn't it Mr. spelding?
351
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:21,254
That's odd. I thought
I turned that motor off.
352
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:27,181
Oh, I'll be spending the night here.
That is... if it's convenient.
353
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,674
I'll be right back.
354
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,270
When you boobs my friends, I simply repeat:
355
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,273
When it comes to visitors from outer space,
356
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,447
there ain't no such animal.
357
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,446
That's what you think, you stupid boob.
358
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,847
Oh, Mr. delton, sir.
359
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,844
You playing hookey too?
360
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,938
I certainly am not.
361
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,853
So you've gone over the cloud again eh?
362
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,695
What's your excuse this time?
Another missing volleyball?
363
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,444
Oh, no sir. No, Mr. delton.
364
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,367
I-I lost my marbles.
365
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,952
You lost your marbles long ago.
366
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,076
Well, I'll tell the truth, Mr. delton.
367
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,165
You see the reason I played
hookie and came down here is,
368
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:38,081
because well, I like the earth
and I like the people on it,
369
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:41,000
and well sir, can't I study them?
370
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,373
Absolutely not.
371
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,749
But it would be like homework, sir,
372
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:45,968
after all I am majoring
in the planet earth.
373
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,503
Under no circumstances.
374
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,097
On second thought,
375
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,557
maybe you ought to get
this out of your system.
376
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,142
It might do you a world of good.
377
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,974
Another world that is.
378
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,937
You mean I can stay then, sir?
379
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,397
For a bit.
380
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:02,643
But remember kreton, there's
a wise old proverb that goes
381
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,062
"up is down and down is up..."
382
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,156
"And never the twain shall meet."
383
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,362
Yes, I remember it.
I remember it well, sir.
384
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,281
But you must keep in mind
that this visit of yours,
385
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,494
must be a secret.
386
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:16,207
And don't get involved with these
earth people. You can't trust them.
387
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,620
No, you can't trust them at all, sir,
388
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:19,164
except Mr. spelding, he's very nice,
389
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,794
an he wouldn't tell a soul about me.
390
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:22,500
He wouldn't, eh?
391
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:26,216
At this very moment,
he's calling New York. Listen.
392
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:30,929
I don't care if he is having dinner.
This is important.
393
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:33,090
I'll fix his wagon.
394
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:35,008
What are you going to do, Mr. delton?
395
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,348
That joker is getting the old "86."
396
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,187
Oh no don't disintegrate, him Mr.
Delton, please.
397
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,603
He's a very nice man,
and he's going to a party later
398
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,100
and his wife won't have
anyone to dance with.
399
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:45,103
Couldn't you just throw an old 14 at him?
400
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,697
- 14 it is.
- Your very kind.
401
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:52,200
Here's how I start my program tomorrow...
402
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,537
Well, speak up man. I have
a dinner party waiting for me.
403
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,248
How do you intend to start your broadcast?
404
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,788
Mary had a wittle wamb,
405
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,336
its fleece was white as snow,
406
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:11,004
and everywhere that Mary went.
407
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:14,223
Roger, are you out of your mind?
408
00:23:14,852 --> 00:23:19,437
The wamb... was sure... to go.
409
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,605
Spelding you're drunk.
410
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:26,019
Study these earthlings
but don't get involved.
411
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,023
No, I won't.
412
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,693
Do you worry, Mr. delton
and thank you very much.
413
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:33,192
And I'll be a good boy, Mr. delton.
Have a good trip.
414
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:34,909
So long.
415
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:51,835
What happened?
416
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,554
Well, you were snitching so you got a 14.
417
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,014
You could have gotten an 86.
418
00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:57,133
What's an 867?
419
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:59,472
Come, I'll show you.
420
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,442
Well?
421
00:24:04,902 --> 00:24:06,392
Watch that plant.
422
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,409
That's an 86.
423
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:36,802
You'll like him, he's really
a very nice young man.
424
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,424
- Mr. kreton.
- Yes?
425
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:39,971
This is my daughter, Ellen.
426
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,723
Hello.
427
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,600
Huh. 36.
428
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,225
24
429
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:48,896
30.
430
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:50,485
That's better... much better.
431
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:51,520
Pardon?
432
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:54,740
- I mean... this bend...
- What?
433
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:57,325
What I mean to say is that,
it does something for girls.
434
00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,742
You see, where I come from,
the girls are 36 straight and that's it.
435
00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:04,037
But this, breaks up the monotony.
436
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:07,703
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- He is cute, mother.
437
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:09,538
I was right.
438
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:11,461
I was right. I was right.
439
00:25:11,468 --> 00:25:13,629
Good evening, Ellen, rheba.
440
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:16,424
I just received a flash from
headquarters on the flying saucers.
441
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,464
It's confirmed Roger.
442
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,808
Why I even saw one with my
own eyes, as plain as day.
443
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,723
There were machine guns
sticking out of the side
444
00:25:23,731 --> 00:25:25,517
and underneath it had a rack of bombs,
445
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,354
and a tremendous Cannon poking
out of a pillbox on the top.
446
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:30,942
Oh, ho ho?
447
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,607
- How do you do.
- How do you do.
448
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:33,740
Have we met?
449
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:37,616
No, unless you've ever been to x-47.
450
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:41,203
This is Mr. mayberry. He's
host to the party tonight.
451
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:41,865
Oh?
452
00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:43,489
Nice costume.
453
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,616
Right costume, wrong century.
454
00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:54,421
At 1800 this evening, an
unidentified flying object
455
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:55,755
was spotted high over...
456
00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,674
Bob, you shouldn't read
that in front of Roger.
457
00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,844
Remember, there "ain't" no such animal.
458
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:03,217
"No such animal,â as what, mother?
459
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,514
As visitors from beyond.
460
00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:09,223
Teensy-winsy little men with
long green feelers like this.
461
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,225
Excuse me, Mrs. spelding,
462
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,444
but the long green feelers went
out with the short red tails.
463
00:26:15,449 --> 00:26:17,314
Short red tails??
464
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,700
Bob, rheba, for heaven's sake.
465
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,444
Short red tails!
466
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,325
That's a good one.
467
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,706
No.
468
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:28,200
Oh no.
469
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:31,538
Yes, yes indeed. You put
fingerprints all over it.
470
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,714
I mean, I don't care for me personally,
471
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:36,042
but we are supposed to keep it clean.
472
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:39,045
You know, sloppy barrier, sloppy mind.
473
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:51,057
You know what's going on rog, tell us?
474
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:56,479
I can't. I have to watch
out for that old 86.
475
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:57,813
867
476
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,316
look what happened to the azalea plant.
477
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,534
It's withered!
478
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:04,620
That's what I mean.
479
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,868
Can I tell them, please?
480
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:11,376
Well, as long as I am going
to be a guest in your house,
481
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,961
I suppose it'll be alright.
482
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,170
But remember now.
483
00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:15,956
This is our little secret.
484
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,216
- You see...
- I'm from another world.
485
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,677
- From another...?
- Planet.
486
00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:23,472
- It's true.
- Jupiter?
487
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,217
Jupiter? No one lives on Jupiter.
488
00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:27,968
Well, at least no one I know.
489
00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,477
Why did you come here?
490
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,559
Oh... I guess it was a
491
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:33,975
combined pleasure and study trip.
492
00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:36,853
You know, a visit to your
small planet from mine.
493
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:39,104
8,000,000 light years away.
494
00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:42,400
8,000,000. Imagine.
495
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:45,494
Poor boy, you must be exhausted.
496
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,164
I am as a matter of fact
a little pooped right now.
497
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,159
A good night sleep will take care of that.
498
00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:53,161
I'll fix up the guest room.
499
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:54,753
Oh, well, thank you very much.
500
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:18,647
Hi everybody.
501
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:20,316
Hi, Conrad.
502
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:21,939
What is he supposed to be?
503
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:23,656
A spaceman.
504
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,972
At least that's what I would
have said 10 minutes ago.
505
00:28:25,996 --> 00:28:27,611
Ain't I something?
506
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:29,659
Excuse me, please.
507
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:31,285
How do you do?
508
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,033
I wonder, do you mind?
509
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,535
Go ahead.
510
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,248
Thank you.
511
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,555
You know I'm sick and
tired of going to this old
512
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,676
ball every year dressed
as stonewall Jackson.
513
00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:45,470
This year I'm going as a
sure enough spaceman.
514
00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:46,929
Boom boom.
515
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:50,976
Oh, you don't need that to boom boom.
May 1?
516
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,306
Sure.
517
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,935
Mr. spelding, who is that?
518
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,568
That you boob, is a spaceman.
519
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,316
A spaceman?
520
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:03,905
You're kidding.
521
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:08,114
Will you please sit down and shut up?
522
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:17,623
Oh, I'm sorry Mr. spelding.
523
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,465
Get this thing off Mel
524
00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:24,043
get it off.
525
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:27,304
Yes, I will. Just a second.
526
00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:36,681
Oops I'm sorry, Mr. spelding. I
guess I aimed just a little too high.
527
00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:39,399
If you'll just take your
hands down and relax.
528
00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:40,984
Just hold perfectly still.
529
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,992
There we are.
530
00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:59,203
See, Mr. spelding, I can but you can't.
531
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:07,294
Sure enough ever loving
cotton picking spaceman.
532
00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:10,093
Here you are Mr. spelding,
I hope that I didn't upset...
533
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,306
Guest room's ready.
534
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:14,309
Thank you, very much Mrs. spelding.
I hope I didn't put you out.
535
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:17,521
And you'll find some of Mr. spelding's
clothes in the closet.
536
00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:18,730
Feel free to wear them.
537
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,266
My clothes?!? Are you radioactive?
538
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,860
Oh, you needn't worry about that sir,
I've had my shots.
539
00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:27,614
Well, enjoy yourselves everybody.
I'm going to beddy-bye.
540
00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:30,112
- Goodnight.
- You forgot your bag, kreton.
541
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:33,328
Oh, so I did, thank you. And thank you.
542
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:38,336
Bob...
543
00:30:39,379 --> 00:30:40,494
Where are you going?
544
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,211
I know my duty when I see it.
545
00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:43,918
I'm reporting this to state militia.
546
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:46,007
I wouldn't do that. He
wants it kept secret.
547
00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:47,592
Secret?
548
00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:52,097
Oh. Of course. You can trust me, rog.
549
00:30:52,142 --> 00:30:53,632
Won't tell a soul.
550
00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:58,227
Conrad?
551
00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:00,017
I won't tell a soul either Mr. spelding.
552
00:31:00,025 --> 00:31:01,140
Your darned right you won't.
553
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:03,142
You think I'd let a blabber mouth
like you get me in trouble?
554
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:04,563
You are not leaving this house tonight.
555
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:06,357
You are sleeping here.
556
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:09,735
In my room.
557
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,818
I'm sorry, Mr. spelding, I just can't.
558
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:16,826
I mean... well, I'm not gonna leave
myrtle alone in my place all night.
559
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,949
- Myrtle?
- His goat daddy. Remember?
560
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:19,661
Oh yeah...
561
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,497
Myrtle hasn't been a
bit well Mr. spelding.
562
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,706
She looks very piqued.
563
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:25,122
And in the last couple of days
she's been running a temperature.
564
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,341
Well, she can run it over here.
Put myrtle in our barn.
565
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,426
- Is it air conditioned?
- Get going.
566
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:31,715
Yes sir, I'll do that.
567
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,011
What about the party daddy?
568
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,385
We are not going to the party.
569
00:31:42,401 --> 00:31:43,481
Good evening, good evening.
570
00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:46,234
Mabel, Mabel. Get them to the living room.
571
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:48,528
- What?
- Get them into the living room, please.
572
00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:49,647
Hurry, dear, hurry.
573
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:52,946
Will you all please go into the living
room and enjoy yourself.
574
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,734
I'll be there in just a moment.
575
00:31:54,996 --> 00:31:55,996
Have fun.
576
00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:58,872
Robert, what in the world...?
577
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:00,831
Don't ask any questions, Mabel.
578
00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,997
This is the biggest thing that
ever happened to manassas...
579
00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:04,004
To the country!
580
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,538
Captain Jackson? Mayberry of manassas.
581
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,542
Listen carefully, this is top, top secret.
582
00:32:09,553 --> 00:32:12,340
At precisely 7:45 tonight...
583
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:15,514
Mary had a wittle wamb.
584
00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:18,300
Mustn't do that, Mr. mayberry.
585
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,237
Oh, hiya rags. Come on in. Come on.
586
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:38,741
There's no reason why
we can't be friends, rags.
587
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:41,740
Now, whats on your mind?
Come on, out with it.
588
00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,709
Oh, I forgot.
589
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:51,132
I don't believe it. There
ain't no such human.
590
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:53,343
You been spending too much
time with Mr. spelding.
591
00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:54,836
I am perfectly normal.
592
00:32:56,141 --> 00:32:57,722
Rags, where do you sleep at night?
593
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,976
Me? In a lousy box on the back porch.
594
00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,932
They think I'm a watchdog,
595
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,225
but I'm really not. I'm yellow.
596
00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:07,440
Soaml.
597
00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:12,525
Rags I have a thought. Why don't
you bunk here with me tonight?
598
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:15,239
- With you?
- Sure, why not?
599
00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:33,469
On.
600
00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:45,808
Rags, you take the lower.
601
00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:54,028
Normal... he says.
602
00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:03,530
- Good morning, kreton.
- Oh, good morning, Ellen.
603
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,412
- You look very pretty this morning.
- Thank you.
604
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:07,993
Well, how do you like it?
605
00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,120
Your first day on earth, I mean.
606
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:11,162
Oh! Oh that.
607
00:34:11,174 --> 00:34:12,880
Just wonderful. I like it a lot.
608
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,125
Except that, it's not exactly
like I thought it would be.
609
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,006
Why, what did you imagine?
610
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:21,007
Well, I'm a little disappointed, you know,
I missed the civil war and
611
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:24,509
gettysburg, and Shiloh, and manassas.
612
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:27,638
You keep talking about the past,
are you from the future?
613
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:32,351
Yeah, uh-huh. I can visit you
at any moment in your history.
614
00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:35,654
You know, time is really a trapezoid.
615
00:34:35,657 --> 00:34:37,318
You know what that means, don't you?
616
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,031
No, I'm afraid I don't.
617
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:40,825
You don't know what a trapezoid is?
618
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,871
Well, I don't either, actually.
619
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:46,865
That's the trouble with school, you see,
620
00:34:46,876 --> 00:34:49,458
they make you memorize things
that your never ever gonna use.
621
00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:12,356
Kreton, what's it like in space?
622
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,069
Oh, it's pretty nice. Especially
if you're traveling out of season.
623
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,114
Uh oh.
624
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,151
- Uh oh, trouble.
- Trouble?
625
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:20,944
Your daddy's in the study,
626
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,659
and he's waiting for a call from
George Abercrombie in New York,
627
00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:25,073
and is he worried...
628
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,493
You mean, you can tell
what daddy's thinking?
629
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:29,833
Uh huh. Would you like to listen in?
630
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:35,171
George Abercrombie, big shot executive,
631
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:38,299
thinks he has brains. Well,
I've got news for him.
632
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,715
His brains aren't
in his head they're in his...
633
00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:41,722
Oops.
634
00:35:43,308 --> 00:35:45,173
You have to be awfully careful of thoughts.
635
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:48,677
Like for instance: Your
thoughts. Right now.
636
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,012
I haven't a thing on my mind.
637
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:52,685
Except Conrad.
638
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,062
The truth, Ellen?
639
00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:58,524
Poor Conrad, sleeping with daddy,
640
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,194
and if daddy knew what he was
planning for this weekend at the lake
641
00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:04,199
he'd strangle him in his sleep.
642
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:06,820
No chaperones.
643
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:08,822
I'm frighted...
644
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,495
No, I'm excited.
645
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,244
I'm really looking forward fo...
646
00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:17,706
He's inside. Kreton's inside my mind.
647
00:36:19,052 --> 00:36:20,508
Kreton, stop that!
648
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:22,794
Well, Ellen, wait a minute,
649
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,213
I mean, well, I didn't
mean to embarrass you.
650
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,214
Well, now you know.
651
00:36:26,226 --> 00:36:28,467
Oh, kreton, the whole thing is so mixed up.
652
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,520
Well, lets un-mix it.
653
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,137
First, how does Conrad
feel about your father?
654
00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:34,347
I'm afraid he doesn't like daddy very much.
655
00:36:34,359 --> 00:36:36,224
And what does your father
think about Conrad?
656
00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,442
Despises him.
657
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,855
Well, then the first
thing we have to do is,
658
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,069
change the sleeping arrangement.
659
00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:42,735
Because last night certainly
wasn't satisfactory at all.
660
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,732
Now, there are 3 bedrooms and I'm in one.
661
00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:48,236
Now, let's put Mr. and Mrs. spelding
in bedroom a, together.
662
00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:50,155
Now, you and Conrad...
663
00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:52,248
Yes, this is going to work
out just fine, Ellen.
664
00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,663
You and Conrad can take over bedroom b.
665
00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:57,412
But, Conrad and I, aren't married.
666
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,044
Well, I didn't mean any harm by it, Ellen.
667
00:37:01,094 --> 00:37:04,382
You have to understand that, well, you see,
where I come from, we don't tangle.
668
00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,346
You don't tangle?
669
00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:10,016
Oh no, we haven't done
that for a long time.
670
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,311
Well, if you don't tangle...
671
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:15,054
What do you do?
672
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:17,057
I mean, how do you multiply?
673
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:18,857
Multiply what?
674
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:21,353
Each other. How do you have babies?
675
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,064
- Oh we don't.
- I don't understand.
676
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:26,608
Well, let me explain, Ellen.
You see, we have ourselves.
677
00:37:26,870 --> 00:37:29,486
And, well, since we're for real, forever.
678
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,078
Well, there's enough of us.
679
00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:32,367
Do you understand?
680
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:34,916
So now you... never tangle.
681
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,076
No, never. It's a lost art.
682
00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:40,580
Although I must admit we
were a little hasty. I think.
683
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:43,083
But, anyway, you must promise
me that you'll let me watch,
684
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,585
the next time you and
Conrad oscillate antennas.
685
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:48,887
Oscillate antennas?
686
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:51,099
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, that's what
they call it on Venus,
687
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:54,720
but down here I believe they refer
to it as " pitch and woo."
688
00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:56,349
May I watch?
689
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,691
Well, Ellen, what did I say now?
690
00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:04,480
That's really the one thing
I wanna see while I'm down here.
691
00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:07,073
Kreton, you've got to
stop talking like that.
692
00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:09,067
I know that you're from
another planet and all,
693
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,953
I guess we do think an awful
lot about sex down here.
694
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,954
But we're not supposed to discuss it.
695
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,992
Anyway, it only happens
when nobody's looking.
696
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:18,493
Morning, Conrad.
697
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,369
Did you sleep well?
698
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:21,962
I was up all night...
699
00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,172
Ell...
700
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:25,630
Ellen, your father grinds his teeth.
701
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,593
It's just gruesome.
702
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,424
He's been listening to my mind.
703
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,140
Huh?
704
00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,973
I know all about the
weekend at the lake.
705
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:37,471
No chaperone.
706
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,393
Yeah, how 'bout that?
707
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:41,766
How'd he find out?
708
00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:43,985
I just told you. I was thinking about you,
709
00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:45,979
and kreton saw it in my mind.
710
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:49,487
Guess who I'm thinking about
right this minute peach blossom.
711
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:52,485
So that's how you earthlings do it, huh?
712
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:54,579
Very interesting. Very
interesting, indeed.
713
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:59,122
Well, I'm pretty well straightened
away except for one little detail.
714
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,540
A teensy-winsy thing
I'm still not too sure of.
715
00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:04,163
- Which one has the baby?
- Kreton!
716
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,132
Conrad, go get the car,
we'll be late for class.
717
00:39:07,303 --> 00:39:08,634
Ahh, in a minute.
718
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:12,468
I got to go out to the barn
and give myrtle her breakfast.
719
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:16,472
I'll take her a corn flakes box.
720
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,105
I'll pick you up in a few
minutes honey child.
721
00:39:23,278 --> 00:39:24,484
Corn flake box?
722
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,570
This seems much more nourishing.
723
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,488
I do believe he thinks more of
that goat than he does of me.
724
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,908
What a weekend.
725
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:40,000
I can just see her gorgeous
figure in that bathing suit.
726
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,248
Wow-wee!
727
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,340
Well, you're the one alright.
728
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:51,086
Nobody ever whistled at
a goat in a bathing suit.
729
00:39:52,265 --> 00:39:54,176
Except another goat I guess.
730
00:39:55,602 --> 00:39:56,967
Oh, there you are.
731
00:39:57,854 --> 00:40:01,597
If you're not busy, Mr. kreton, my
husband would see you in the study.
732
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:03,223
Oh, gladly.
733
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,767
What are you laughing at dear?
734
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:08,687
Conrad's goat in a bathing suit.
735
00:40:09,324 --> 00:40:11,406
Oh? Did he buy her a bathing suit?
736
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,816
I didn't know she could swim.
737
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:21,783
Why don't you hang a
red light on that thing,
738
00:40:21,794 --> 00:40:23,034
it's a menace to navigation.
739
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,372
- Good morning, my boy.
- Good morning, sir.
740
00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,216
I need your advice.
I just spoke to New York...
741
00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,505
I know. You spoke
to George Abercrombie,
742
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,719
and he's on his way here,
743
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,346
he's arriving on the 11 o'clock plane.
744
00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:39,639
How did you...? Oh...
You know what I'm thinking.
745
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:42,019
Uh huh, and right now you're
pretty worried, aren't you?
746
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,433
Of course I'm worried.
747
00:40:44,317 --> 00:40:45,648
That fellow's my boss.
748
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:50,028
Hires and fires, fires
and hires, all day long.
749
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,068
Why did I do that? I never
drink before breakfast.
750
00:40:57,372 --> 00:40:58,737
A drink what? What is that?
751
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:01,747
- Bourbon.
- Bourbon? May I try?
752
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:03,228
I'm afraid you're a little young my boy.
753
00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:05,413
Young? Here's my driver's license. See?
754
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:07,127
I'm over 21.
755
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,498
21 million light years?
756
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:13,630
Yes, you should have seen my birthday
cake with all the candles.
757
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:15,420
Burned it to a crisp.
758
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:18,138
I'd be careful... on an empty stomach.
759
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:22,644
Really? Then should be a lotta fun.
760
00:41:22,647 --> 00:41:24,683
Mr. delton, are you gonna'
let him try that stuff?
761
00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,439
I am indeed. It'll teach him a lesson.
762
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:29,934
Give that lad enough cloud
and he'll hang himself.
763
00:41:29,946 --> 00:41:31,106
Good, good.
764
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,262
Wow, that sure was powerful stuff.
765
00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,476
Thank you very much.
766
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,653
Now, now, you can talk later.
Time for breakfast.
767
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:17,523
Ellen and Conrad want to drive
Mr. kreton into town with them.
768
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:20,026
Do you like your bacon
crisp Mr. kreton?
769
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:21,444
Yes, that'll be fine.
770
00:42:21,456 --> 00:42:24,118
Good. You shouldn't be up there, you know.
771
00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,787
You'll get footprints all over the ceiling.
772
00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:30,495
Oh, by the way, you can make
my eggs, sunny side down.
773
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:34,582
Now that's silly.
774
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:39,512
Now I know what they mean by "being high".
775
00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,089
Let's have another one.
776
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:06,221
Well, I'm beginning to understand
how they do things here on earth.
777
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,952
When Conrad tickles your ear,
778
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,370
that makes the motor go, right?
779
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:12,541
Conrad, tickling my ear, has
nothing to do with the motor.
780
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,046
It has to do with your motor?
781
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:16,299
You oughta try it sometime.
782
00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:18,880
Love... it's wonderful.
783
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:20,549
Oh, well, we gave up ages ago.
784
00:43:20,556 --> 00:43:22,547
It took us darn near forever
to stamp out disease.
785
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:26,471
Scarlet fever, mumps, anxiety,
the common cold and finally,
786
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:28,678
that great killer: Passion.
787
00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,684
You gave up passion?
788
00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:32,978
Oh yeah, we don't feel anything.
We don't do anything.
789
00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:36,193
Inside we're sort of like...
Cold spaghetti, you know?
790
00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:39,818
- Sounds terribly dull.
- Well, it is, a little.
791
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:42,651
You go right ahead, Conrad.
Don't mind me.
792
00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:46,787
Oh, I'm sorry, I was watching.
793
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:58,208
Unless we get moving soon
we're going to be late.
794
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:21,481
Kreton, you did that. How'd you ever do it?
795
00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:23,570
Very simple. I just
thought him into the air.
796
00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:25,068
The next policeman is yours.
797
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:27,070
- Oh, may I?
- Sure!
798
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:30,490
- Hey, this is fun.
- Oh, it sure is.
799
00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:37,629
- Oh, is this is one mine?
- Be my guest.
800
00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:39,339
- Oh no.
- What do I do?
801
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,085
Well, just focus all your thoughts
on that policeman.
802
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:44,303
- Ellen, please.
- Conrad, watch this.
803
00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:49,513
Nothing happened.
804
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,974
That's because you're not
concentrating, Ellen.
805
00:44:52,273 --> 00:44:55,185
Now, concentrate. Lift the cop.
806
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,525
Lift the cop.
807
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,991
Conrad! I did it! He moved!
He really moved!
808
00:45:05,995 --> 00:45:07,280
That was wonderful, Ellen.
809
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:09,370
Tomorrow I'll teach you to lift buildings.
810
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:10,613
Isn't this fun?
811
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,077
Hey!
812
00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:14,662
Would you kindly stop
flirting with my girl?
813
00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:16,873
Well, I didn't mean any harm, Conrad.
814
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:20,293
Inside, cold spaghetti, remember?
815
00:45:20,301 --> 00:45:21,507
Cold spaghetti nothing.
816
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,876
You got a hot Chile look in your eye!
817
00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:30,470
Look, look, here he comes.
818
00:45:30,478 --> 00:45:31,968
You'll probably wind up in jail.
819
00:45:32,521 --> 00:45:35,228
Oh, we can't do that. It would
spoil our whole day.
820
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:38,391
Uh, watch him. I'll give
him an 8 the easy way.
821
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,176
You know your way back
home, don't you fella?
822
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,013
Well, I found my way to the earth didn't 1?
823
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:58,995
That's a lot easier than finding
your way out of a turnpike.
824
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:00,465
On.
825
00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:03,295
Well... thanks
for the car, Conrad.
826
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:05,175
I'll be careful.
827
00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,746
These turnpikes are murder. Ain't they bud?
828
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:35,740
Oh, they're not so bad, just follow me.
829
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,181
Flash! Ladies and gentlemen,
830
00:46:56,188 --> 00:46:58,600
the most remarkable event
in the history of Virginia
831
00:46:58,607 --> 00:47:00,313
has just occurred in manassas.
832
00:47:00,693 --> 00:47:02,684
At exactly 9:37 am,
833
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,276
at the Richmond interchange...
834
00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:07,192
Mary had a wittle wamb.
835
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:10,279
Its fleece was white as show
836
00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:13,365
and everywhere that Mary went
837
00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:16,080
the wamb was sure to go.
838
00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:23,996
Hi Clementine.
839
00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:35,178
Oh, hi honey. Well, how are you?
840
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,303
Now what's this all about?
841
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:41,602
Everyday the same old routine.
842
00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,812
And I'm getting pretty tired of it.
843
00:47:44,028 --> 00:47:48,112
Here he comes, the terror of manassas.
844
00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:53,192
Here, here now neighbors should be friends.
845
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:54,785
Now, I want you two to shake hands.
846
00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:57,321
I positively refuse!
847
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:02,627
Right in the eye. You call her a lady?
848
00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:04,336
Alright now stop this bickering
849
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:06,831
and I'm not leaving here until
you two kiss and make up.
850
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:11,427
I won't kiss him but he can kiss me.
851
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,426
There, now that wasn't so terrible was it?
852
00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:23,936
Dames, she really loves it.
853
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:31,981
Mrs. spelding...
854
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:38,033
Roger's been in there listening
to mr Abercrombie for almost an hour.
855
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:39,656
I don't like that ambercrombie.
856
00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,537
I'm sure Roger's going to lose his job.
857
00:48:43,504 --> 00:48:45,995
Don't you worry about that mrs spelding.
858
00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:47,025
We're fraternity brothers!
859
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:49,040
You've made a few mistakes
too many old man.
860
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:51,716
George, if you're saying...
861
00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:53,468
I'm saying that viewer wise,
862
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,758
sponsor wise, information wise.
863
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:58,803
You, spelding, are low
man on the totem pole.
864
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:02,303
The flag is down the lifeboats
are gone and the ship is sinking.
865
00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:05,355
- And I'm the captain?
- But not for long.
866
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,732
You're going down for the third time.
867
00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:09,651
Who's this joker?
868
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,896
Kreton? Oh, he's a visitor here.
869
00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:14,319
Last night about 7 o'clock
870
00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:17,319
Mary had a wittle wamb
its fleece was white as...
871
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:20,283
Spelding! Are you in your second childhood?
872
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,329
Yes sir, there's no other explanation.
873
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:28,621
Abercrombie, I've been looking forward
to meeting you for a long time.
874
00:49:28,674 --> 00:49:30,039
You've always been a-1 on my ship
875
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:32,257
ever since the lifeboat
went up the totem pole.
876
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:34,464
I beg your pardon?
877
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:37,384
What I mean to say man is you're
the talk of Madison Avenue.
878
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:42,135
Oh? Oh well... aren't you
exaggerating a trifle?
879
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:45,847
Not a bit. How about that humdinger
of a deal you pulled on.
880
00:49:45,858 --> 00:49:48,144
Bb. Dd. Jj. And w, huh?
881
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:52,520
You really gave them the old
stabbed in the back. Knife wise.
882
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,652
I really pulled a fast one there didn't I.
883
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:58,161
Wait a minute.
884
00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:01,453
Nobody knew about the bb, dd,
jj, and w deal, not even w.
885
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:02,947
How did you find out?
886
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,949
Well don't tell me. From my wife.
887
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,575
No! Eloise.
888
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:09,750
Shh! Nobody knows about Eloise.
889
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:10,837
Not even your wife.
890
00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,419
- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.
891
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:13,040
He's sure.
892
00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,963
Oh, good good.
893
00:50:14,970 --> 00:50:17,552
You see when a man has a wife like mine
894
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:20,340
and Eloise, like Eloise.
895
00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:23,259
Well, he can get in an awful mess.
896
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,261
Would you pardon me, I want
to get some more ice.
897
00:50:25,272 --> 00:50:26,272
Sure.
898
00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:28,764
What's he thinking about?
Am I going to lose my job?
899
00:50:28,776 --> 00:50:31,358
Very important to get rid of spelding.
900
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:32,772
I'm sunk.
901
00:50:32,780 --> 00:50:34,691
Oh no you're not.
902
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,563
Oh, eh, spelding.
903
00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:40,067
I suggest we let this simmer
in the pot for a while.
904
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:43,367
And about that bb, dd, jj, and w business.
905
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:46,537
And... Eloise.
906
00:50:46,794 --> 00:50:48,159
This is strictly "entre nous" of course.
907
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:49,285
Oh, of course.
908
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:50,376
I won't say a word.
909
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:53,251
No, not as long as you still have
your job eh, mr spelding.
910
00:50:53,259 --> 00:50:54,669
Oh I get it, blackmail!
911
00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:57,384
It's not bad... blackmail.
912
00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,177
No, I use it all the time myself.
913
00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:03,723
You've got quite a future in the
advertising game young man.
914
00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:06,927
Cheerio.
915
00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:10,438
- Goodbye George.
- Oh, goodbye rheba.
916
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:12,349
Remember me to your charming wife.
917
00:51:13,070 --> 00:51:15,152
Oh, yes of course.
918
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:20,737
Thanks, my boy. You saved my neck.
919
00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:21,901
Well, I don't like him.
920
00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:23,322
How'd everything go dear?
921
00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:26,114
Fine, just fine, thanks
to our young friend here.
922
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,077
He really straightened old George out.
923
00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:29,950
Glad to have been of service, sir.
924
00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:34,668
Aah. What a great son-in-law he'd make.
925
00:51:35,509 --> 00:51:38,546
- You mean instead of Conrad?
- I certainly do.
926
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:42,717
Well, I don't know... sputniks,
for grandchildren
927
00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:45,265
but I don't think parents should interfere,
928
00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:49,979
mine didn't or I wouldn't be Mrs.
Roger Putnam-spelding, would I dear?
929
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:58,984
Conrad, you know what I
think we oughta do tonight?
930
00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:02,066
- Get married?
- No, silly.
931
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:04,368
I think we should take
kreton to the "hungry brain."
932
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:06,703
- He might enjoy it.
- I wouldn't enjoy it.
933
00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:07,867
Not with him.
934
00:52:08,459 --> 00:52:10,996
- You're jealous.
- I can't help it.
935
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,459
Baby doll, marry me.
936
00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:16,877
Darling, I can't. Daddy would be furious.
937
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:19,170
If your daddy thought it would get
me out of his bedroom tonight
938
00:52:19,178 --> 00:52:21,009
he'd forge the wedding license.
939
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:24,008
Darling, I just can't marry you.
940
00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:28,559
You're sweet, but maybe
what I really want,
941
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:32,851
what I really need, is someone
who'd drag me around be the hair.
942
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:38,978
Oh, you started. Good.
943
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:42,198
Oh don't mind me,
I won't make a sound.
944
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:45,197
I'll just sit back here and take notes.
You go right ahead.
945
00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:48,366
Kreton, we went all
through that this morning.
946
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,580
It's not polite to snoop on people.
947
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,074
That's right mister.
948
00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:53,833
Well, I didn't mean any harm. I'm sorry.
949
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:57,622
Kreton, Conrad and I have decided
to take you out tonight.
950
00:52:57,716 --> 00:52:59,047
You decided..
951
00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:00,211
We decided.
952
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:01,379
No we didn't.
953
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:02,752
Yes we did!
954
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:04,128
Well, I'm not going!
955
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:05,845
Then we'll go alone!
956
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,765
Mister, I don't approve of my girl
going out with strange men.
957
00:53:08,811 --> 00:53:11,302
Kreton is not strange!
958
00:53:11,438 --> 00:53:13,099
They don't come any stranger!
959
00:53:17,486 --> 00:53:22,150
Kreton, you and I are going
to the hungry brain tonight.
960
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:23,905
Oh wonderful!
961
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:25,899
What is it?
962
00:53:25,994 --> 00:53:28,906
Well, it's our favorite rendezvous.
And it's out of this world.
963
00:53:28,914 --> 00:53:31,155
Out of this world? I'd better dress for it.
964
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:02,607
Well, here we are.
965
00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:03,698
On the moon?
966
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,276
On the moon! No.
967
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,111
No Ellen, the hungry brain.
968
00:54:07,536 --> 00:54:08,536
Come on dear.
969
00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:12,204
What's the matter Ellen, you're
trembling. Did I drive too fast for you?
970
00:54:12,207 --> 00:54:16,621
No, it's just that I never cross the river
before without using the bridge.
971
00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:19,370
Kreton, don't you know
what Bridges are for?
972
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,171
Yeah, to shade the fish.
973
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:29,838
Mr. mayberry.
974
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:31,840
Thank you!
975
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:38,597
Let's go.
976
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,683
Man, now that's out.
977
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:44,903
That's so out, he ain't ever been in.
978
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:08,627
Well, real old fashioned music.
979
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:09,799
I think this is going to be fun.
980
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:11,672
- Good evening, miss. Spelding.
- Good evening.
981
00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:12,767
Right this way, please.
982
00:55:40,295 --> 00:55:42,377
This cat must be our new leader.
983
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:44,630
Well, if he ain't, let's elect him.
984
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,418
Crazy. He's a real kook.
985
00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:51,132
Hey kook!
986
00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:26,960
Like uh... who's the new member?
987
00:56:27,175 --> 00:56:29,507
I don't know baby but he sure looks cool.
988
00:56:30,345 --> 00:56:32,256
Welcome to inner space brother.
989
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:33,512
Oh, thank you.
990
00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:38,218
Say, that's a real crazy looking
pair of jeans you have dad.
991
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:39,802
Who laid the threads on you?
992
00:56:40,188 --> 00:56:41,348
Jeans? Threads?
993
00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:44,356
Like who's your tailor, baby,
and where can we find him?
994
00:56:44,526 --> 00:56:46,812
Oh, my tailor. Well, do you
know where the milky way is?
995
00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:48,401
Yeah the...
996
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:50,406
The milky way.
997
00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:53,656
Yeah, yeah the milky way. Go baby wail.
998
00:56:53,744 --> 00:56:55,826
Well, you turn right at the second nebula
999
00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:59,492
and it's the third planet
at the end of the star cluster.
1000
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:02,123
You just ask for Mr. de Milo
and tell him I sent ya'.
1001
00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:04,622
Man this cat talks off the top.
1002
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:06,547
He's tuned in.
1003
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,212
Tell me double hipness.
1004
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:11,170
What floor do you get out of
when you split from the cloud.
1005
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:13,794
Oh, we don't use floors.
1006
00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,341
You don't use floors?
1007
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,385
Oh no, we use fog.
1008
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:20,805
It's much softer and far
easier to keep clean.
1009
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:23,102
Quite a group aren't they?
1010
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:25,021
Oh yes they are.
1011
00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:28,100
Except I'm a little curious
Ellen, tell me one thing...
1012
00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:30,360
What are they: Animal,
mineral or vegetable?
1013
00:57:30,405 --> 00:57:32,942
There people silly. Beatniks.
1014
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:38,319
Man, what we're trying
to find out is,
1015
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:41,030
where you planted here or did
you come in on the beam?
1016
00:57:42,250 --> 00:57:44,332
He wants to know where you come from?
1017
00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:46,418
Perhaps you'd rather not tell.
1018
00:57:46,797 --> 00:57:49,880
Oh no, I don't mind. I'm sure
they won't say anything.
1019
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:51,759
Oh I'm sorry.
1020
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:53,758
I come from x-47.
1021
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:56,386
I live right near that
tailor I told you about.
1022
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:57,254
Out past the milky way.
1023
00:57:57,265 --> 00:58:00,428
Out... past... the milky way.
1024
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:01,477
Past.
1025
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:04,477
Oh man, this cat's really from out of town.
1026
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,896
Alright boys take five.
1027
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,306
Hey man, we've been watching
you from the bandstand.
1028
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:20,944
Oh really?
1029
00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:22,742
Yeah, you look out enough to make it.
1030
00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:24,855
Would you dig wailing with the group?
1031
00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:27,667
Oh well, thank you,
but I'm not a musician.
1032
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:30,295
Although, I think
I would like to play those.
1033
00:58:30,424 --> 00:58:31,755
- The skins?
- Skins?
1034
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:33,790
The bongos man!
1035
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,713
Oh yeah, the bongos, yeah.
1036
00:58:35,721 --> 00:58:37,177
Crazy, let's make it.
1037
00:58:41,935 --> 00:58:43,721
Like now let's split.
1038
00:58:43,895 --> 00:58:48,639
Well, if it's all the same to you,
I think I'd like to play them from here.
1039
00:58:50,902 --> 00:58:53,484
You want to play those... from there?
1040
00:58:53,905 --> 00:58:54,905
Yeah.
1041
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,166
Kreton, how did you do that?
1042
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:56,210
Oh, uh...
1043
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:59,255
Well, it's quite simple,
see, many, many diffrent...
1044
01:00:16,947 --> 01:00:19,279
This is a very sad story.
1045
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:21,189
You see, it's all about a girl
1046
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:24,151
who fell in love with a no good rat Nick,
1047
01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:26,160
and it's very touching actually.
1048
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:42,544
Cuckoo!
1049
01:00:57,487 --> 01:01:01,730
A little kids a drop deserted her.
Oh my god. Why?
1050
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,577
Cuckoo!
1051
01:01:34,191 --> 01:01:35,806
Oh, I'll be alright.
1052
01:01:36,318 --> 01:01:40,152
It was a lovely number. Too bad
she left out the best part.
1053
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,608
What part did she leave out?
1054
01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:44,408
The part...
1055
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,116
Where her father makes it like he...
1056
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:49,611
He doesn't know he did...
1057
01:01:49,664 --> 01:01:51,871
Kreton, now come on.
1058
01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,325
I get all chocked up when I hear...
1059
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:03,257
Do you mind if I borrow your man?
1060
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:05,877
No, I won't.
1061
01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:07,971
Life's a drag daddy-o.
1062
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:09,305
Let's make it.
1063
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:12,012
Oh, well, thank you, but I'm with her.
1064
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:14,769
No daddy-o, you're with "it".
1065
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:21,898
Come on, honey.
1066
01:02:22,822 --> 01:02:25,609
Buzz over to my "hive".
1067
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:32,700
Just watch my hand closely.
1068
01:02:33,708 --> 01:02:38,372
Nooo, you're watching too hard.
1069
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,167
- Just cool it, man, cool it.
- Cool it.
1070
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:42,424
Yeah.
1071
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,304
- There we go.
- Crazy.
1072
01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:23,788
Mr. delton should see me now.
1073
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:27,416
I can young man. I see you very well.
1074
01:05:33,638 --> 01:05:35,594
Kreton, you were just wonderful.
1075
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:38,715
Oh, it wasn't anything.
You know, sometimes you do things
1076
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:42,511
and you're not really aware of what's going
on because your just doing...
1077
01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:45,684
Ellen, what are you doing under the table?
1078
01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:47,182
- I've had it!
- This is ridiculous.
1079
01:05:47,235 --> 01:05:50,068
Shave my beard and call me normal!
Let's go!
1080
01:05:51,072 --> 01:05:53,108
Oh I didn't mean it!
1081
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:55,527
Don't be scared!
1082
01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:57,108
I didn't...
1083
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:58,277
Wait a minute. I...
1084
01:05:58,580 --> 01:06:01,196
Kreton, will you come down from there?
1085
01:06:01,416 --> 01:06:05,910
I'm sorry, Ellen, I guess Mr. delton
saw more than I figured.
1086
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:15,676
Say, what are those cars doing over there?
1087
01:06:15,847 --> 01:06:17,678
That's inspiration point.
1088
01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:20,098
Don't they have a lover's Lane
where you come from?
1089
01:06:20,268 --> 01:06:22,133
Oh no. We gave that up a long time ago.
1090
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:24,935
Along with mahjong and community singing.
1091
01:06:25,732 --> 01:06:28,940
Would you like to go over and...
Park for a while?
1092
01:06:29,235 --> 01:06:31,351
Yeah, that might be interesting.
1093
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:35,488
Hey, kill the lights!
1094
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:36,492
Turn them off!
1095
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:37,782
Turn those lights down!
1096
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:42,282
Turn those lights down!
1097
01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:43,951
Turn off those lights.
1098
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:53,081
It seems pretty dull to me.
1099
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:55,466
They're just sitting there
and they're not even talking.
1100
01:06:55,845 --> 01:06:58,427
The reason they're not talking
is because they're cuddling.
1101
01:06:59,599 --> 01:07:01,339
Look at that gorgeous moon.
1102
01:07:01,809 --> 01:07:03,674
Doesn't the moon mean anything to you?
1103
01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:04,808
Of course.
1104
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,970
Last stop for gas before Mars.
1105
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:10,272
The moon kreton, spells romance.
1106
01:07:11,528 --> 01:07:14,361
That boy and that girl they're kissing.
1107
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:16,650
The moon did that.
1108
01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:18,489
Well now?
1109
01:07:19,702 --> 01:07:21,408
Is kissing really fun?
1110
01:07:21,996 --> 01:07:24,078
Why don't you try it and find out?
1111
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:26,539
That's a splendid idea.
I'll run over and ask them.
1112
01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:29,159
Kreton, there's no need
to make such a long trip.
1113
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:31,286
Stay here.
1114
01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:33,963
I believe I will try it.
1115
01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:42,555
It is sanitary but it isn't as much fun.
1116
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,591
I'd better get rid of that old barrier.
1117
01:07:59,701 --> 01:08:00,941
Oh, I like that.
1118
01:08:02,161 --> 01:08:03,276
You know something?
1119
01:08:03,288 --> 01:08:04,869
We're going to do that again.
1120
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,825
That's what he thinks.
1121
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:15,167
Kreton this will never do,
there isn't any "oomph".
1122
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:18,709
On the contrary, I felt a definite
ping in my left vertebrae.
1123
01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:20,460
Let's have another whirl at it.
1124
01:08:21,681 --> 01:08:22,681
Great.
1125
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:26,265
- Oh boy.
- Another ping?
1126
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,177
And a pong and a wing ding dong.
1127
01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:39,609
I melted it. I melted it.
It's the real thing.
1128
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,318
I'm in love.
1129
01:08:42,201 --> 01:08:43,816
Exactly as I anticipated.
1130
01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:46,945
- He's become an earthling.
- Oh, what a wonderful feeling, Ellen.
1131
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:51,332
He asked for it and I'm
afraid he's going to get it.
1132
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:59,249
- What was that?
- I must have blown a fuse.
1133
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:28,445
- Ellen, do you know why...?
- It's all my fault.
1134
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:30,534
I should never have let you kiss me.
1135
01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:34,535
Well, Ellen, don't worry, I-I'm
gonna do the right thing.
1136
01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:36,836
I'm gonna ask your father,
for your hand in marriage.
1137
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:38,333
Marriage?
1138
01:09:39,217 --> 01:09:40,878
For my hand in...?
1139
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:43,592
Kreton, do you realize
what you're saying?
1140
01:09:43,888 --> 01:09:45,844
Well of course I realize, Ellen.
1141
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:48,263
And all the time you thought was a cad.
1142
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:49,890
Well, coming up?
1143
01:09:49,977 --> 01:09:52,514
No, I think I'll go get some hot milk,
1144
01:09:52,563 --> 01:09:55,600
or cold milk or something.
1145
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:57,686
I'll see you in the morning, kreton.
1146
01:09:57,735 --> 01:09:58,850
Happy, Ellen?
1147
01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:01,436
Well, not exactly happy. I'm more...
1148
01:10:01,489 --> 01:10:03,571
More ecstatic. Yeah, me too.
1149
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,691
I'm floating on air.
1150
01:10:10,832 --> 01:10:12,618
I heard that outer-space
carpetbagger.
1151
01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:13,998
You're not going to marry him.
1152
01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:16,917
- Are you?
- Of course not, darling.
1153
01:10:17,338 --> 01:10:19,954
I just don't want to hurt his feelings.
1154
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:22,173
What about my feelings. I'm human, too.
1155
01:10:22,927 --> 01:10:25,794
What do I mean "too", he's not human.
Lord knows what he is.
1156
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:30,264
Well, whatever he is, kreton
is kind and sweet and nice.
1157
01:10:31,102 --> 01:10:33,138
Oh Conrad, what am I going to do?
1158
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:34,969
You're gonna marry me,
that's what you're gonna do.
1159
01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:37,097
- We're going to elope.
- Oh, Conrad.
1160
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:38,890
Just as soon as I finish this sandwich.
1161
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:04,836
You know rags? Ellen and I are
really meant for each other.
1162
01:11:05,553 --> 01:11:07,043
It's really true love.
1163
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,592
I know Ellen and I are
from different worlds,
1164
01:11:10,641 --> 01:11:12,222
but that shouldn't be an obstacle.
1165
01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:14,930
Personally, I don't believe
in mixed marriages.
1166
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:17,474
- Look at me.
- Why, you look just fine.
1167
01:11:17,857 --> 01:11:23,022
Fine? My mother was a Mexican chihuahua
and my father, a labrador retriever.
1168
01:11:23,321 --> 01:11:26,813
How'd you like to walk around
with a warm nose and a cold tail.
1169
01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:29,820
Oh rags, goodnight.
1170
01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:38,241
That poor earthling, Conrad.
1171
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:42,124
He thinks he's going to elope with Ellen.
1172
01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:44,546
But I know better.
1173
01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:47,004
That's what he thinks.
1174
01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:48,967
And you know what's funny, rags?
1175
01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:53,841
Mr. delton doesn't have the slightest
idea about what's going on.
1176
01:11:54,018 --> 01:11:55,849
That's what he thinks.
1177
01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:59,846
Mr. delton thinks that falling
in love will get me into trouble.
1178
01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:03,600
That's what he thinks, boy is he wrong.
1179
01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:05,522
That's what he thinks.
1180
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:35,264
Good morning, dear.
1181
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,800
Young ones not down yet?
1182
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:43,606
Kreton, Conrad, breakfast is ready.
1183
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:46,650
- Where's Ellen?
- I don't know.
1184
01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:48,982
She wasn't in bed when
I woke up this morning.
1185
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:51,192
Neither was Conrad when I woke... up...
1186
01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:54,946
They both must have had
early classes today.
1187
01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:07,288
- Good morning, Mr. spelding.
- Good morning, my boy.
1188
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:10,629
- Well, you're in a good mood I see.
- Oh, never better.
1189
01:13:10,803 --> 01:13:12,088
Listen to this:
1190
01:13:12,179 --> 01:13:14,795
"The amalgamated television
network today renewed."
1191
01:13:14,849 --> 01:13:19,843
"Roger Putnam spelding's
contract for another 5 years."
1192
01:13:20,062 --> 01:13:21,427
It's your work my boy.
1193
01:13:21,522 --> 01:13:23,262
I want you to know
that I'm deeply grateful.
1194
01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,893
Well, don't mention it...
1195
01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:28,059
- Dad.
- Dad?
1196
01:13:28,279 --> 01:13:31,487
- Well, Mr. spelding...
- Yes?
1197
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:34,865
You see, there comes a time
in every spaceman's life,
1198
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,323
when he finally meets
the girl of his clouds.
1199
01:13:37,622 --> 01:13:41,831
Now, you see sir, I've put away enough blue
dingles not only to support...
1200
01:13:41,876 --> 01:13:44,083
Roger, Mr. kreton, come quickly.
1201
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:48,295
This is actually the uh... point I'm
uh... trying to make Mr. spelding uh...
1202
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:50,548
You see, Mr. spelding... oh.
1203
01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:52,882
Now what is it?
1204
01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,594
- The most wonderful thing has happened.
- What happened?
1205
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:58,593
They married. Conrad and Ellen
are husband and wife.
1206
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:01,009
- Husband and wife?
- They did elope.
1207
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:02,806
- You see, dad...
- Dadi?!
1208
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,936
Mr. spelding, we just had to get married.
1209
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:06,643
What do you mean "had to?"
1210
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:09,392
Well, I mean we couldn't wait another
minute. Not with him around.
1211
01:14:09,445 --> 01:14:12,312
- So we eloped.
- Eloped you, you, you...
1212
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:13,229
- Goat herder you.
- Ellen!
1213
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:13,854
Daddy please!
1214
01:14:13,908 --> 01:14:15,569
- I don't know why you but I...
- We thought of this...
1215
01:14:15,576 --> 01:14:19,535
Don't get upset, Mr. spelding,
I guess the best man won.
1216
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:20,615
- Now wait a minute.
- Excuse me dear.
1217
01:14:20,623 --> 01:14:23,535
I don't believe the children
have had breakfast.
1218
01:14:23,584 --> 01:14:26,417
- Conrad, you will stay.
- I'll be happy to.
1219
01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:31,877
Congratulations, old man,
I hope we can still be friends.
1220
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:35,047
You mean you don't feel
"that way" about Ellen?
1221
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:36,802
Oh, she's like a sister to me.
1222
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,676
A sister, eh, kreton?
1223
01:14:39,850 --> 01:14:43,263
Well, I'll just show them how you
really feel about her.
1224
01:14:46,774 --> 01:14:50,892
Ellen oh, Ellen, you babe
with that crazy build.
1225
01:14:51,195 --> 01:14:54,153
I've been watching you
shake it around this house
1226
01:14:54,532 --> 01:15:01,244
and you've been watching me watching
you and it's driving me mad.
1227
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:02,862
Wow!
1228
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:04,785
Kreton, what are you saying?
1229
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,790
I do not know, someone unzipped my mind.
1230
01:15:06,877 --> 01:15:08,162
Mr. delton. Please.
1231
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:10,786
We don't need words honey, not you and me.
1232
01:15:11,048 --> 01:15:13,630
The first time I saw you, bells rang,
1233
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,458
the earth moved.
1234
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:19,216
It was like there was nobody
else in the world.
1235
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:22,302
Just you and me, and the
black burning nights,
1236
01:15:22,351 --> 01:15:24,512
exploding like a thousand Roman candles.
1237
01:15:25,146 --> 01:15:29,765
I propose, mister, that you discontinue
this line of thought at once.
1238
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:32,900
No, no, it's fascinating, really.
1239
01:15:33,112 --> 01:15:35,694
But Ellen, I didn't mean a word of it.
1240
01:15:35,906 --> 01:15:38,147
- That is I, I meant it, but...
- What?
1241
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:41,533
No I didn't mean to say it.
Actually, Ellen, I...
1242
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:45,788
And your hungry eyes, begging me,
imploring me and pleading with me,
1243
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:47,744
to take you in my powerful arms.
1244
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,166
Wow.
1245
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:52,123
Ellen look, actually this is whole...
1246
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,998
Mister the woman you love
happens to be my wife.
1247
01:15:55,426 --> 01:15:59,044
- Conrad, please.
- Wait just easy honey. Barrier nothing...
1248
01:15:59,889 --> 01:16:02,505
Conrad... go ahead.
1249
01:16:16,530 --> 01:16:17,770
Conrad!
1250
01:16:18,491 --> 01:16:20,106
Get up.
1251
01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:24,326
Let him have it, kreton.
1252
01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:28,448
Just bop him one.
1253
01:16:28,501 --> 01:16:30,537
There will be no bopping.
1254
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,001
Stand still.
1255
01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:36,129
It's stuck, Mr. delton,
please, it won't hit.
1256
01:16:36,175 --> 01:16:38,336
- Mine won't hit.
- Hit me.
1257
01:16:38,385 --> 01:16:39,738
- Mine don't hit.
- Conrad, now stop it.
1258
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:40,762
Mine don't hit.
1259
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,432
- What's the matter, you a coward?
- That's it, yeah.
1260
01:16:46,685 --> 01:16:47,685
Fight!
1261
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:50,219
Daddy do something.
1262
01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:51,808
With pleasure.
1263
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,561
It don't hit. It's... I'd
fight if I could hit.
1264
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,646
- Conrad, now please.
- Well he started it.
1265
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:10,164
What's going on? What's
happening in here?
1266
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,577
What are you all standing around for?
1267
01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:13,496
What are you so excited about? Whats???
1268
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:15,036
What's he doing down there?
1269
01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:17,246
I'm hanging up the phone.
1270
01:17:17,508 --> 01:17:18,508
I hit him.
1271
01:17:18,551 --> 01:17:21,338
You... you hit him and you
aren't disintegrated?
1272
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:23,423
I can't understand it. The
boy's lost his power.
1273
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:25,007
Lost his power?
1274
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:28,720
Then I'm safe. I can do my duty.
Oh this is a day.
1275
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:30,759
Haven't you time for a cup
of coffee, Bob?
1276
01:17:30,813 --> 01:17:32,929
No, no, not now. Keep
him cornered Conrad.
1277
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:34,518
I'll get the state
police right away.
1278
01:17:34,692 --> 01:17:35,898
The national guard.
1279
01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,896
The commander general
of the area.
1280
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,068
Excuse me.
1281
01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:42,780
Take it easy, boy, take it easy.
We'll get you up.
1282
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:45,783
We'll get you up out of there,
come on, up we go.
1283
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,659
There... there there there.
1284
01:17:47,705 --> 01:17:50,242
- I said if you got up I'd hit him again.
- Oh now look...
1285
01:17:50,374 --> 01:17:53,241
Let me at him. They don't call me
the manassas mauler for nothing.
1286
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:56,334
- Shut up.
- Well, I didn't mean anything...
1287
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,954
- Are you alright?
- Oh yes, I'm fine. Thank you.
1288
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:02,045
Just wet. You see, where I come
from we don't feel pain.
1289
01:18:02,094 --> 01:18:04,836
Oh, we feel wet. You'll feel wet water...
1290
01:18:04,889 --> 01:18:06,720
But you don't feel pain.
Like for instance...
1291
01:18:06,765 --> 01:18:07,845
That's what he thinks.
1292
01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:10,804
I didn't even feel
the slightest twinge of...
1293
01:18:12,104 --> 01:18:13,389
Pain!
1294
01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:16,021
- What is it?
- Oh my arms. Mr. delton.
1295
01:18:16,066 --> 01:18:19,729
You wanted to be an earthling, my boy,
so take everything that goes with it.
1296
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:22,235
Oh, the leg. Just kick
the leg, there's a pain.
1297
01:18:22,281 --> 01:18:24,021
Oh, the back is a pain.
1298
01:18:24,074 --> 01:18:27,316
There's a head... there's a stomach.
Oh, the foot is a pain...
1299
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,072
Oh! No more pain!
1300
01:18:30,789 --> 01:18:32,575
Mabel is using the phone
gotta use your...
1301
01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:35,662
What you...? After him.
Don't let him get away.
1302
01:18:36,295 --> 01:18:37,831
- He's gonna kill me.
- Well... ah!
1303
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:44,382
Come back and fight like a man.
1304
01:18:44,678 --> 01:18:46,919
You fight your way, I'll fight mine.
1305
01:18:54,521 --> 01:18:55,931
Come on, open up.
1306
01:18:56,190 --> 01:18:57,305
Come out and fight.
1307
01:18:57,358 --> 01:18:59,519
I won't come out and I won't fight.
1308
01:18:59,777 --> 01:19:01,438
Come on open up, you coward.
1309
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:04,152
That's why I won't come out,
I'm a coward. That's it.
1310
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:11,193
A spaceman, general.
1311
01:19:11,205 --> 01:19:14,242
S-p-a-s-e. I mean: C.
1312
01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:16,536
Yes, the state police are
on their way now, sir.
1313
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:18,876
Oh, good, good. I hope
you can make it, sir.
1314
01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:21,544
Where's a gun?
1315
01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,546
- Oh Conrad.
- There's a gun.
1316
01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:26,713
Conrad, deserting your post of duty?
1317
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:28,802
I need this in case he tries to break out.
1318
01:19:28,931 --> 01:19:30,931
Give me that, it's just
a conversation piece any...
1319
01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,843
Sure talks loud, don't it?
1320
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:38,929
Oh, the police.
1321
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,478
Excuse me, I better go make
sandwiches and coffee.
1322
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:43,813
Come on, there's nothing to be afraid of.
1323
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:45,565
Let's get out there. Come on.
1324
01:19:46,073 --> 01:19:48,405
Well, after you folks. After you.
1325
01:19:48,450 --> 01:19:50,657
I'll stay in back so
I can plan our strategy.
1326
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:08,717
Watch it. Watch it, he's in there.
1327
01:20:09,263 --> 01:20:11,754
He's in there men. He's in there.
1328
01:20:11,849 --> 01:20:13,259
He's in there.
1329
01:20:14,518 --> 01:20:16,725
Careful now. He may be dangerous.
1330
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:28,274
He's jet propelled.
1331
01:20:30,451 --> 01:20:33,909
No he ain't, it's myrtle. Myrtle did it.
Myrtle you come back here.
1332
01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:35,038
Whoa!
1333
01:20:49,303 --> 01:20:51,009
Alright, out of here.
1334
01:20:52,097 --> 01:20:54,133
Out of here. You might get hurt.
1335
01:20:55,309 --> 01:20:57,220
I am hurt.
1336
01:20:57,770 --> 01:21:00,432
All right men, grab a line get moving.
Let's go.
1337
01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:02,475
Loudspeaker.
1338
01:21:06,487 --> 01:21:08,728
Alright mister, we've got you covered.
1339
01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:10,775
I said, we've got you covered.
1340
01:21:10,783 --> 01:21:13,024
- Pardon me.
- Certainly.
1341
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:19,159
Myrtle, here myrtle. Where did you go to?
Come to papa, you hear?
1342
01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:20,698
Give me that!
1343
01:21:21,919 --> 01:21:23,500
You haven't got a chance.
1344
01:21:24,213 --> 01:21:26,499
Come out with your hands over your head..
1345
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:30,082
I said, come out with your hands
over your head.
1346
01:21:30,344 --> 01:21:32,835
- Sorry I took so long, dear.
- Rheba.
1347
01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:34,466
- Ellen?
- No thank you.
1348
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:36,506
Come out with your hands over your head.
1349
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,634
Officer, egg salad or tuna fish sandwiches?
1350
01:21:39,728 --> 01:21:41,559
Please, ma'am, not now.
1351
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:42,772
Conrad?
1352
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:47,024
We mean business, if you don't come
out we'll have to use the tear gas.
1353
01:21:47,986 --> 01:21:49,726
Tear gas. That's a good idea.
1354
01:21:50,697 --> 01:21:51,697
Pardon me.
1355
01:22:05,045 --> 01:22:07,832
There he is men. Watch him.
Keep your eyes on him.
1356
01:22:20,727 --> 01:22:23,469
The wind must have changed.
It's backfiring.
1357
01:22:23,522 --> 01:22:24,682
Watch yourself.
1358
01:22:26,483 --> 01:22:28,019
Put the women in the cars!
1359
01:22:28,026 --> 01:22:29,026
Roll up the windows!
1360
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:30,445
Roll them up fast!
1361
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:31,985
Myrtle.
1362
01:22:33,782 --> 01:22:34,988
Myrtle.
1363
01:22:36,452 --> 01:22:37,532
Myrtle.
1364
01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:40,823
Myrtle.
1365
01:22:46,170 --> 01:22:49,458
I can still fly. I can still fl... yow.
1366
01:22:55,220 --> 01:22:57,632
Come down out of that barn, mister.
1367
01:22:57,890 --> 01:22:59,380
I am out.
1368
01:23:13,780 --> 01:23:15,190
I'm going in.
1369
01:23:16,074 --> 01:23:18,736
The general doesn't want us to rush
the place until he gets here.
1370
01:23:18,869 --> 01:23:20,951
He's on the way
with a life photographer.
1371
01:23:26,418 --> 01:23:29,501
You naughty spaceship, you
shouldn't go away without me.
1372
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:35,462
Wait, wait, slow down. Slow
down, your gonna get me s... ohh.
1373
01:23:42,809 --> 01:23:43,809
Ohl
1374
01:23:44,102 --> 01:23:47,094
oh, I'm sorry. Hello, Mr. delton.
It's your ship.
1375
01:23:47,523 --> 01:23:48,683
Had enough, young man?
1376
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,064
Oh, yes indeed. Yes sir. I've had it.
1377
01:23:51,109 --> 01:23:54,192
Well, you always wanted to be an earthling
and now you know what it's like.
1378
01:23:54,238 --> 01:23:56,854
You felt the pain of love,
the pain of jealousy...
1379
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:58,760
And the pain of pain. And
that is the worst pain.
1380
01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:01,992
This is a crazy mixed up planet,
Mr. delton. I'd like to get out of here.
1381
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:03,444
And you'll never come back again?
1382
01:24:03,497 --> 01:24:06,705
Never. I promise. The furthest
I'll never go is the moon.
1383
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:08,991
You've learnt a good lesson, my boy.
1384
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:13,253
Remember, the grass is always greener
on the other side of the universe.
1385
01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:15,797
So keep your nose out of
other people's planets.
1386
01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,875
And from now on, I will.
1387
01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:24,223
Sorry, Mr. delton, I hit my...
1388
01:24:35,237 --> 01:24:36,773
- Mr. mayberry?
- Sir.
1389
01:24:37,114 --> 01:24:38,820
Wheres that spaceman?
1390
01:24:39,825 --> 01:24:44,535
Spaceman, general? There
ain't no such animal.
1391
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:52,834
So long, earth. It's been lots of...
1392
01:24:54,464 --> 01:24:55,374
Mr. delton.
1393
01:24:55,382 --> 01:24:56,872
Oh, Mr. delton!
1394
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:02,052
Mr. delton help.
1395
01:25:02,681 --> 01:25:06,014
Help! Mr. delton!
1396
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:08,352
Help Mel!
97765
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