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1
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:08,878
[SCREAMS]
3
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,489
What is your problem?
4
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:13,274
-KAREN: Spider! Spider!
-[SCREAMS]
5
00:00:14,971 --> 00:00:16,364
What's all this screaming?
6
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,714
You guys waxing
your mustaches again?
7
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:22,674
No, there's a big, ugly,
hairy spider on the table.
8
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,807
Ooh, a spider.
9
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,809
You guys are such wusses.
10
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,899
Ah, don't kill it.
11
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,771
What do you want me to do?
Read him his rights?
12
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:36,079
No, it's a living thing.
Show a little compassion.
13
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,864
Take it outside
so it can be with its family.
14
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,605
And eat its husband.
15
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:41,737
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
16
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,132
BOTH: Oh.
17
00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,005
It is kind of cute.
18
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,398
I mean, look at it.
19
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,573
[SCREAMING]
20
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,708
Well,
it's awfully cold outside,
21
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,580
so you do deserve
a nice warm place to sleep.
22
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,452
Like Dana's bed.
23
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,588
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
24
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,948
[SCREAMING]
25
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,781
♪ The dream got broken
Seemed like all was lost
26
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:29,350
♪ What would be the future
Could you pay the cost
27
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:30,960
♪ You wonder
28
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:34,137
♪ Will there ever be
A second time around?
29
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,836
♪ Woah-oh, woah-oh
30
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:41,188
♪ When the tears are over
And the moment has come
31
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:45,017
♪ Say "My lord,
I think I found someone"
32
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,976
♪ And no one would be better
33
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:51,502
♪ To be putting it together
For the second time around
34
00:01:57,595 --> 00:02:00,729
♪ Step by step
Day by day
35
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,557
♪ Day by day
36
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:05,081
♪ A fresh start over
A different hand to play
37
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:09,216
♪ The deeper we fall
The stronger we stay
38
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:12,784
♪ And we'll be better
The second time around
39
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:16,832
♪ Step by step
Day by day
40
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:21,619
♪ We'll be better
The second time around ♪
41
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,598
Hey, Cody, what are you doing?
42
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:46,383
Uh, I'm working on
a '40s style mystery
43
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,733
for my creative writing course.
44
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:53,085
"I woke up one morning
and found that my socks
were horribly mismatched."
45
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,218
Yeah, I love the idea,
46
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,916
but I don't think
I've got enough for a novel yet.
47
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,657
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
48
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,225
You know, I need something
with a little suspense,
49
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:05,272
a little intrigue,
some kind of mystery.
50
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:10,102
Okay, Dana, where's my diary?
51
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,279
How am I supposed to know?
52
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,890
Well, someone took it.
I left it on my dresser
and now it's gone.
53
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,544
Whoa!
54
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:19,068
that's a perfect idea
for my forties mystery.
55
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,592
"The Case of the Missing Diary."
56
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,072
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Funny.
57
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,046
CODY: This is the big city.
58
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,266
The kind of a place where
if you don't watch your back,
59
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,226
you'll end up wearing a sign
that says "Kick Me."
60
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:48,706
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
61
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:54,364
The name's Spud. Sam Spud.
62
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,149
I'm a private detective,
a shamus,
63
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,499
a gumshoe.
64
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,328
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
65
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,941
I was just about to
call it a day,
66
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,335
when fate threw me a curve.
67
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,685
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
68
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,302
[KNOCKING]
69
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,391
Come in.
70
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,662
Hi there.
71
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,664
Are you Sam Spud?
72
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,278
That's what it says
on the door, doesn't it?
73
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:41,411
Actually, it says "Dups Mas."
74
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,067
Whoa! [EXCLAIMS]
75
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,635
I put my name on the
wrong side of the door.
76
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,506
No wonder business has been
so slow.
77
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,204
May I come in?
78
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,946
Sure. Take a load off, sister.
79
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:57,340
CODY: [VOICEOVER]
This dame was a knock out.
80
00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:01,257
She had the kind of legs that made you wish you were a pair of no nonsense pantyhose.
81
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,345
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
82
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,956
And I could see why.
83
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:08,003
She was a no nonsense
kind of dame.
84
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,135
CODY: Toothpick?
KAREN: No, thanks.
85
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,615
I'm trying to quit.
86
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,316
So, uh, what seems to be
the problem, Miss...?
87
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,709
Meow... Kitty Meow.
88
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:19,971
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
89
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,409
"Kitty Meow?"
90
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:23,932
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
91
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,934
What were your parents
thinking?
92
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:28,937
That's my stage name.
93
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,155
I'm a...
94
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,461
Singer in a nightclub.
95
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,856
A songbird, eh?
96
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,684
So, what can I do for you?
97
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,035
Someone stole my diary.
98
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,906
And I need you to find it.
99
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,518
[FUNKY MUSIC]
100
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:45,954
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
101
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:50,611
Well, before I take the case,
102
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,178
I got a question
I got to ask you.
103
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,181
-Strictly routine, huh.
-All right.
104
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,445
How many obtuse angles
are there in a trapezoid?
105
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,535
-Two.
-Okay, I'll take the case.
106
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,842
But it's going to cost you.
I don't work for peanuts,
you know.
107
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,410
I know. That's why,
I brought these.
108
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,201
Ah, cashews.
109
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,726
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
110
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:23,383
CODY: Kitty worked at
a little joint downtown
called The Club Sandwich.
111
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,472
They served one thing,
and one thing only.
112
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,125
Chili.
113
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:30,477
♪ Oh, now you're
singing with a swing
114
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:34,437
The club was owned
by a guy named Frankie
"The Tuna" Sandwich.
115
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,135
They called him "The Tuna"
because if you crossed him,
116
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,702
he packed you in water.
117
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:44,360
Kitty sang with a group called the Andrews Stepsisters.
118
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,928
♪ La dee da, oh, oh, oh
119
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,278
♪ Now you're
singing with a swing ♪
120
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:50,453
[CROWD CHEERING]
121
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,679
[JT LAUGHS]
122
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,465
[CONTINUE LAUGHING]
123
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,120
How ya' doin',
ladies and germs.
My name is Buddy Rimshot.
124
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,251
[RIMSHOT]
125
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,123
[LAUGHS]
126
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,214
You know, I tell ya',
127
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:15,043
my mother-in-law, she's so fat
that when she wears yellow,
people think she's a school bus.
128
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,436
[RIMSHOT]
129
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,611
[JT LAUGHS]
130
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,223
Thank you,
you're a great audience.
131
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,007
Now I know why
they call it a depression.
132
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:24,792
-[RIMSHOT]
-[JT LAUGHS]
133
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,142
God, I kill myself. [LAUGHS]
134
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,146
Next up, we've got a
real treat for you.
135
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,757
Please welcome the
sensational song stylings
136
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:35,280
of Miss Honey Dew.
137
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,546
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
138
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:41,983
[CROWD CHEERING]
139
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,945
♪ There's...
140
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:54,212
♪ A somebody
I'm longin' to see
141
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:59,304
♪ I hope that he...
142
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,872
♪ Turns out to be...
143
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:10,533
♪ Someone to watch over me
144
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:11,969
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
145
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:20,064
♪ Although he may not
146
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,675
♪ Be the man
147
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:22,937
[CORK POPS]
148
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:25,592
♪ Some girls think of
149
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,551
♪ As handsome
150
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,598
♪ To my mind
151
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:36,516
♪ He carries the key
152
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,742
♪ Won't you tell him, please?
153
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:50,268
♪ To put on some speed
154
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,706
♪ Follow my lead
155
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:56,274
♪ Oh, how I need
156
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:04,848
♪ Someone to watch over me
157
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,198
[CROWD CHEERING]
158
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,859
♪ Oh, I need
159
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:23,519
♪ Someone who'll watch
160
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,435
♪ Over
161
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:32,093
♪ Me ♪
162
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,577
[CROWD CHEERING]
163
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,413
Cigars?
164
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,112
[SNAPS FINGERS]
165
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,860
Sorry about the short set.
166
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,253
Believe me, Honey, from here...
167
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,299
Your set looked great.
168
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:05,735
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
169
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,869
Thanks for noticing, Frankie.
170
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,436
If you want to get together
a little later,
171
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,787
just whistle.
172
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,267
You know how to whistle,
173
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,878
don't you, Frankie?
174
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:21,098
No, that's why
I have one of these.
175
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,057
[WHISTLES]
176
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,889
I love a man with
expensive jewelry.
177
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,762
[SIGHS]
178
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,851
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
179
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,159
CODY: Hey there, Frankie.
180
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,771
Sam Spud.
181
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,512
What brings you here?
182
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:48,343
A '38 Buick. But,
that's not important right now.
183
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:53,174
It seems that one of your
singers, a Miss Kitty Meow,
went and got her diary stolen.
184
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,045
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you, Frankie?
185
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,612
Hey, Sam,
186
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,484
I may be a racketeer,
kidnappin', hit man,
187
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,051
and a low rent, dirtbag crook,
188
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:02,792
but I draw the line
189
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,186
at stealing a girl's diary.
190
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,797
Yeah, well, that remains
to be seen,
191
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,973
but until that diary
is recovered,
192
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,062
everyone's a suspect.
You got me?
193
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,325
Everyone's a suspect, alright.
194
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,501
Hey, hold it, sister.
195
00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:18,939
I got a few questions
to ask you.
196
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:22,029
And wipe that "holier than thou"
look off your face
197
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:23,770
or I give you one with a ruler.
198
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,734
Okay, boss, it's payday.
199
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,736
Yeah, can we have our allowance?
200
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:35,782
I mean, our take, Boss.
201
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:39,916
Sure, boys, here you go.
202
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:42,223
Five bucks? Is that all?
203
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:45,617
Hey, it's the forties.
Five bucks is down payment
on a house. Now scram.
204
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,968
Man, is he cheap.
205
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,797
He's so cheap, he puts
an I.O.U. in his
penny loafers.
206
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:53,451
-[RIMSHOT]
-Oh, God, I kill me.
207
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,846
He keeps that up,
I'll kill him myself.
208
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,110
Hey there, Frankie,
209
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,591
keep those two on a
pretty short leash, huh?
210
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:05,463
Mind if I ask them
a couple of questions about
the missing diary?
211
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,901
Why bother, Spud?
212
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,859
The big one can't read and
the little one still thinks
girls have cooties.
213
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,559
Hey, Frankie.
214
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,345
Honey.
215
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:18,999
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
216
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,435
Yeah?
217
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,568
How about a little nightcap?
218
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,048
Why, sure.
219
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:29,966
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
220
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,796
Thanks.
221
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,886
Who is this?
222
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,933
Sam Spud, private investigator.
223
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,674
You mind if I ask you
a couple of questions,
here, Miss Dew?
224
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,155
Alone?
225
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,246
Ah, sure, I get it.
226
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,900
Three's a crowd.
227
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,295
I always thought
three's company.
228
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,687
[RIMSHOT]
229
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,298
Thank you.
230
00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:58,516
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
231
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,303
Well now, there, ah, Miss Dew,
232
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:06,089
do you have any idea
who would want to steal
Kitty Meow's diary?
233
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,962
Oh, I can't imagine
who'd want to do
such a terrible thing
234
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,790
to a sweet gal like Kitty.
235
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,749
Although, the other girls
in the group do have a motive.
236
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,620
What's that?
237
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:18,406
A motive? That's a reason
for wanting to steal the diary.
238
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,583
And what's that?
239
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,107
It's a little book
you write your
personal thoughts in.
240
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,720
Well, thank you very much,
Miss Dew.
241
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,766
You've been very helpful.
242
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,073
Hey, gumshoe,
243
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,598
what I'm trying to tell you is,
the other girls may be
jealous of Kitty
244
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,948
and want a shot at the
center microphone.
245
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,384
Hey, Honey,
246
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,560
I'm going to work out
with the Detroit Tigers.
247
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,606
AL: I'll be back
in a couple of days.
CAROL: Sure.
248
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,477
Hey there, uh, Coco,
249
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,479
mind if I ask you a
couple of questions?
250
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,481
No. As long as you don't mind
if I'm not here.
251
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,965
CODY: Well, well, well.
252
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:01,841
What do we got here?
253
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,627
[EXPLOSION]
254
00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,284
A diary.
255
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,722
Kitty Meow's diary, huh?
256
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:18,640
How'd that get in there?
I've been framed.
257
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,642
Framed, I tell ya'. Framed!
258
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,383
Yeah, sure.
259
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,472
That's what the Mona Lisa said.
260
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,734
Where are you taking me?
261
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,562
You'll find out.
262
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,564
Right after these
commercial messages.
263
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,094
[ROOSTER CROWS]
264
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,228
[HORSE NEIGHS]
265
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,406
[ROOSTER CROWS]
266
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,411
Boy,
267
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,369
the neighborhood
sure is changing.
268
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,854
Come on, Spud,
269
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,726
unlock these things.
I'm innocent, I tell ya'.
Innocent.
270
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,077
Yeah, we'll see about that.
271
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,514
I sent that diary over
to the lab. We'll see whose
fingerprints show up.
272
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,866
Guten morgen, Herr Shpud.
273
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,738
I have the results
back from the lab.
274
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,305
Talk to me, Professor.
275
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,264
You were right.
276
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,309
That diary had
more fingerprints on it
277
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:20,528
than Madonna.
278
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,923
But that's impossible.
279
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,186
I never touched that book.
280
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:29,711
I did not say they were yours,
Meine Kleine Liebchen.
281
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,714
Well, if they're not your
Klein Liebchen's,
then whose are they?
282
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,021
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
283
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:39,025
Well, there's Kitty's,
Buddy's, Cassie's,
Frankie's, Fingers', Honey's
284
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,244
und yours.
285
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,246
Und mine?
286
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,948
That means that
I'm a suspect, too.
287
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,732
Ha!
288
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,386
Maybe I should put a tail
on myself.
289
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:54,954
All right.
290
00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:58,827
So, Meine Herr,
291
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,872
how are you going to
solve this caper?
292
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,700
Hey, I'm the detective.
293
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,225
I got ways of making
any criminal sing.
294
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,183
You just round up the suspects,
295
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,272
I'll break out my
karaoke machine.
296
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:15,626
♪ Strangers in the night...
297
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,325
Nein, nein, not the singing.
298
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:21,502
♪ Exchanging glances
299
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,462
♪ Wondering in the night... ♪
300
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,860
[GLASS BREAKS]
301
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,167
Alright, Spud, what's goin' on?
302
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,691
I've got numbers to run,
people to kidnap, and...
303
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,651
Dance class at three.
304
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,567
I brought you all here
because someone in this room
305
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,874
stole Kitty Meow's diary.
306
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,223
[MUSIC STING]
307
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,491
But I thought it was Coco.
308
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,798
Ah, that's what they
wanted you to think.
309
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,148
But the real culprit
was someone who would
310
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,412
benefit by upsetting Kitty
and framing Coco.
311
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,502
Someone who had access
to the dressing room.
312
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,809
A real big chip on his shoulder.
313
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,898
Someone like... Cassie.
314
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,596
[PIANO STING]
315
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,687
Fishing in the wrong lake,
flatfoot.
316
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,300
Why would I want to frame Coco?
317
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,216
Come on, you've made no attempt
to hide how you really felt
about her.
318
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,305
And your fingerprints were
all over that diary.
319
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,440
Okay, I read the diary,
320
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,835
but I had to. I had a book
report due and the library
was closed.
321
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:36,055
-But I didn't steal it.
-No, you didn't.
322
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,621
That was a practice guess.
323
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,582
Okay, my real guess.
324
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,800
Is Buddy.
325
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,108
Me?
326
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,850
Yeah, you.
327
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:54,334
I know all about your
secret ambition.
328
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,163
You mean, to be a model
and live off my looks?
329
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,556
No, your other secret ambition.
330
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:02,081
to be a singer in an
all girl band.
331
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,821
You thought if you could put on
a wig and a dress,
332
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,085
you could team up with
Kitty and Cassie.
333
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,913
Oh...
334
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,743
Oh, okay, okay, I admit it,
it's true.
335
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,660
I do want to sing in an
all girl band and
wear high heels.
336
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,271
Is that so wrong?
337
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,579
I would never frame
Coco to get it.
338
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,712
I'm telling you, I'm innocent.
339
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,105
Yeah, you are,
340
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,671
and you'd look great
in high heels.
341
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,239
But that's not the point
right now.
342
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:33,460
This whole caper is
starting to smell fishy.
343
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,810
That's why I'm thinking tuna.
344
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,942
Eh, Frankie?
345
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,292
[PIANO STING]
346
00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:47,778
Come on, Spud. The girls were
making me money. Why would I
want to break up the act?
347
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,954
Because you know what
show business'll do to ya'.
348
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:54,568
It'll chew you up and
spit you out, just like
Erik Estrada.
349
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,179
You wouldn't want that to
happen to Coco.
350
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,616
-Because she's your daughter.
-[EVERYBODY GASPS]
351
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,444
-Your daughter!
-[EVERYBODY GASPS]
352
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:02,706
-Your daughter!
-[EVERYBODY GASPS]
353
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,143
[LAUGHINGG] Yeah, I love that.
354
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,799
How'd you know that, Spud?
355
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:12,063
Because I took the liberty of
looking at your
auto insurance policy.
356
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,588
You named Coco as an
additional driver.
357
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:18,722
Nobody in their right mind
would put a teenager on their
insurance policy unless
358
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,202
-she was your daughter.
-[EVERYBODY GASPS]
359
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,899
[CODY LAUGHS]
360
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:25,207
Is it true?
361
00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,513
You're my fadda?
362
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,124
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
363
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,778
Yeah, pal, it's true.
364
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:31,953
You're my dawdda.
365
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:36,610
Cool, I'm a Mafia princess.
366
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,394
Move over, Susan Lucci.
367
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,876
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
368
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,532
Alright, alright,
Spud, it is true.
369
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,490
Coco is my daughter.
370
00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:50,754
But I got nothing against
show business.
If that's what she wants,
371
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,975
then I'm all for it.
But I didn't steal no diary.
372
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:55,585
No, you didn't.
373
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:59,198
but we're narrowing it down
now, aren't we.
374
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,722
Okay, who's still a suspect?
Raise your hand.
375
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,161
Okay, now,
376
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,598
I know exactly how
I'm going to solve this case
377
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:11,035
right now.
378
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,821
Eeny meenie, miny mo,
catch a tiger by the toe.
379
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:16,476
If he hollers, let him go.
Eeny meenie, miny mo.
My mother said to--
380
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,913
Okay, okay.
381
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,132
Quit raking me over the coals.
382
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,048
I confess. I did it. It was me.
383
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:25,789
It was?
384
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:29,315
Whoa, I thought it was
the little dude by the piano.
385
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,186
Yeah, well, I stole the diary
386
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,188
and planted it in
Coco's suitcase.
387
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:36,713
Then I jimmied the locks,
loosened the floorboards
so Coco would trip,
388
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,240
the suitcase would open,
the diary would be there
and would incriminate her.
389
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,503
But why would you do something
so terrible,
390
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,940
so awful, so...
391
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,420
...complicated?
392
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,987
You're young.
You don't understand.
393
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:52,903
Singing is all I know.
394
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:56,080
I mean, if you kids push me
out of the way,
what am I supposed to do?
395
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,039
Sell exercise equipment?
396
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,475
Start my own talk show?
397
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,522
Come on, sister,
398
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,915
the show's over.
The ship has sailed,
399
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:06,656
the fat lady has sung.
400
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:10,051
Elvis has left the building.
401
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:13,315
I hated slapping the cuffs
on a beautiful dame like Honey,
402
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,099
but what other choice
did I have?
403
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,711
Guess it's all part of being
a private eye.
404
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,367
-[TYPING]
-CODY: The end.
405
00:21:21,454 --> 00:21:23,282
Ah! What do you think,
Kare-bear?
406
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:24,892
Cody, that was wonderful.
407
00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:26,807
And I wear
such great clothes in it.
408
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,156
Yeah, buddy.
409
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,377
Oh, Karen, I got your diary.
410
00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,379
Your mom must have put it
in my drawer by mistake.
411
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,729
You didn't read it, did you?
412
00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:39,559
Hey, do I look like the kind
of person who would read
someone's diary?
413
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:40,821
I guess not.
414
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:46,305
"Bobby's arms were like
two bands of steel.
415
00:21:46,392 --> 00:21:49,525
"When he kissed me,
my heart fluttered like a
tiny hummingbird."
416
00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:51,527
I'm going to kill you.
417
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,315
Wow.
418
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:59,318
Wow, hey, that's a
killer new idea for a
forties mystery.
419
00:21:59,405 --> 00:22:01,537
"The Case of the
Dead Stepsister."
420
00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:02,625
[LAUGHS]
421
00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:06,281
Hey,
422
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:09,110
I feel like that old babe on
"Murder, She Wrote."
423
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:33,047
♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing
424
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:35,049
♪ Everybody start to sing
425
00:22:35,136 --> 00:22:37,530
♪ La dee da, oh, oh, oh
426
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,662
♪ Now you're
singing with a swing
427
00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:42,317
♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing
428
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,363
♪ Everybody start to sing
429
00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:46,974
♪ La dee da, oh, oh, oh
430
00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:49,237
♪ Now you're
singing with a swing
431
00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:51,413
♪ When the music goes around
432
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,763
♪ Everybody goes to town
433
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:56,070
♪ But here's something
you should know
434
00:22:56,157 --> 00:22:58,246
♪ Whoa, baby, whoa!
435
00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:01,031
♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing
436
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:02,946
♪ Everybody start to sing
437
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:05,427
♪ La dee da, oh, oh, oh
438
00:23:05,514 --> 00:23:07,429
♪ Now you're
singing with a swing ♪
30860
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