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1
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,093
Uh, Carol, honey,
2
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,834
hurry up. We're going to
be late for the wedding.
3
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:11,315
What is taking her so long?
4
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,230
Well, hey, Uncle Frank,
it's not that easy
5
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,276
to put on pantyhose when
you got long fingernails.
6
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:18,366
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
7
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,498
Carol doesn't have long
fingernails.
8
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,587
Oh, well, then she's just
messing with your head, dude.
9
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:26,026
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
10
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,418
Frank.
Huh?
11
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,811
Do I look fat in this dress?
12
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,682
Oh, honey, you look fantastic.
13
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,206
That dress looks really
great on you.
14
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,251
I'll go change.
15
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:37,080
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
16
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,693
Messin' with your head, buddy.
17
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,174
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
18
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,004
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
19
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,977
♪ The dream got broken
20
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,936
♪ Seemed like all was lost
21
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,851
♪ What would be the future?
22
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,418
♪ Could you pay the cost?
23
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:11,506
♪ You wonder
24
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:12,942
♪ Will there ever be
25
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,423
♪ A second time around?
26
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,513
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
27
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,210
♪ When the tears are over
28
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,430
♪ And the moment has come
29
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:26,042
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
30
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,957
♪ You know it will be better
31
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:29,915
♪ 'Cause you're putting
It together
32
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:32,788
♪ For the second time around
33
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,840
♪ Step by step, day by day
34
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:42,928
♪ Day by day
35
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,234
♪ A fresh start over
36
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:45,975
♪ A different hand to play
37
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,803
♪ The deeper we fall
38
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,327
♪ The stronger we stay
39
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,199
♪ It will be better
40
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,157
♪ The second time around
41
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:57,769
♪ Step by Step, day by day
42
00:01:57,856 --> 00:01:59,858
♪ We'll make it better
43
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,078
♪ Second time around ♪
44
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:17,049
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
45
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,966
Hey, Dana burger.
46
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,534
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
47
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,188
Hey, don't bother me.
48
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,321
You got it.
49
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:34,850
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
50
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:37,374
So, whatcha doing?
51
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,984
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
52
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:41,770
Well, I was reading.
53
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:46,253
Whoa, A Brief History of Time.
54
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,038
I wonder if they got
A Brief History of Newsweek?
55
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,694
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
56
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,263
It's not about Time magazine.
57
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,047
It's about the
theory of relativity
58
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,223
and the origins of
the universe.
59
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,008
Whoa, the great
mysteries of life.
60
00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,881
I've pondered quite
a few of those myself.
61
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,404
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
62
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:11,539
Like, what really was the
purpose of Stonehenge?
63
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,629
How did they build
the great pyramids?
64
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:17,022
Why did Thurston Howell
the Third
65
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,590
take so much luggage
on a three hour tour?
66
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:23,203
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
67
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,684
Here's something I've pondered
68
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,296
Why won't you leave me alone?
69
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,515
Ooh, good question.
70
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:35,215
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
71
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,348
Hi, guys.
72
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,002
Cody, I need to talk to Dana.
73
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,308
It's kind of "girl talk."
74
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,700
Cool.
75
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,226
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
76
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,358
Oh, you mean "girl talk" like
77
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,447
just girls?
78
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,797
Beam me up, Scotty. I'm on
the planet of the chicks.
79
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,060
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
80
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:57,715
So, what's up?
81
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,543
This great guy
came into the diner.
82
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,024
His name is Michael.
He's rich, he's gorgeous,
83
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,069
and he's got a great car.
84
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,028
Sounds perfect for you.
85
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,117
Well, there is one problem.
86
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,641
He's really smart.
87
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,948
Well, thank goodness
you found out now,
88
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:15,559
before you got married and had
a bunch of smart children.
89
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,257
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
90
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,563
No, no, see, see,
what I mean is,
91
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,349
he's interested in
intellectual stuff.
92
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,785
So, I need you
to talk to him.
93
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,353
Why?
94
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,876
Because I need a scout.
95
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,008
See, you find out what
he's interested in,
96
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,662
then I'll read up
on it so I can
97
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,403
fake a conversation with him
until we're kissing.
98
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,449
Then he won't care
what we're talking about.
99
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,451
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
100
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:40,454
Karen, why would
I do this for you?
101
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,325
Because we're sisters.
102
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,545
So?
We're friends.
103
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,416
So?
104
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,549
I'll keep Cody away from
you for two weeks.
105
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,637
Deal.
106
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,116
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
107
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,597
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
108
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,425
[DOOR LOCK UNLOCKS]
109
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:58,689
Come on, Carol. Would you stop
with the silent treatment?
110
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,171
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
111
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,564
It's because I didn't dance with
you at the wedding, isn't it?
112
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,348
I am not speaking to you.
113
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:07,742
Fine.
114
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,874
Get back here. I'm not
done not speaking to you.
115
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,833
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
116
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,965
I sat at that wedding
for three hours
117
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,924
while every woman danced
except me.
118
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,621
You danced.
Oh, right,
119
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,320
with your 92 year old Uncle Ned,
who kept grabbing my butt.
120
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,410
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
121
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:26,238
He is old, he has to have
something to hold on to.
122
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,023
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
123
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,504
Oh, Frank, just give me three
good reasons why you won't dance
124
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,201
and then I'll drop
the whole thing.
125
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,682
I hate it,
126
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,248
I can't do it,
127
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,077
and when I try,
I feel like a complete fool.
128
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,384
Well, those are
pretty thin excuses.
129
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,647
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
130
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,432
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
131
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,393
CO: Penny, table twOKo's
order's ready.
132
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,264
[CHATTERING]
133
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,834
Okay, Dana, I know
Michael is gorgeous,
134
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,749
but when he comes in,
play it really cool.
135
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,926
Cook: Table 14, pick up.
136
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,755
That's him! That's him! That's
him! That's him! That's him!
137
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,757
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
very cool, Karen.
138
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,237
Now, why don't you
go in the kitchen
139
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:09,325
before you scare him away?
Okay.
140
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:12,850
Hi.
Hi.
141
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,635
Can I help you?
142
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,071
Yeah, sure. Let me have
a cheese danish to go, please.
143
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,422
Hmmm, "The Beat Generation"?
144
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,163
Yeah. The Beat Generation
was the term--
145
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,556
That Jack Kerouac used to
146
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,166
describe his generation
of writers
147
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,950
and poets in New York
in the fifties.
148
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,343
That's right.
149
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,910
I'm partial to
Allen Ginsberg myself.
150
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,215
Really? Me, too.
151
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:33,567
My favorite is Howl.
152
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,525
"I saw the best minds
of my generation
153
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,309
destroyed by madness."
154
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,096
"Starving,
155
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,272
hysterical, naked,
156
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:46,014
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
157
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,669
looking for an angry fix--"
158
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:50,410
"Angelheaded hipsters
burning for
159
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,281
"the ancient heavenly connection
160
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,978
"to the starry dynamo
in the machinery of night--"
161
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,200
"Who poverty and tatters
162
00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,811
"and hollowed eyed and high
163
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,205
"Dana: sat up smoking
in the supernatural
164
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:06,208
"darkness of cold water flats
165
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,515
"floating across
the tops of cities--"
166
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:10,517
Both: "Contemplating jazz."
167
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,086
That's amazing.
168
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,046
I've never met anybody who
knew that poem other than me.
169
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,221
Neither have I.
170
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,918
Uh.
171
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,180
I hope you like this.
172
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,268
How much?
173
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,749
I hope you like it a lot.
174
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:28,709
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
175
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,798
No, no, I mean, how much
for the cheese danish?
176
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,149
Oh, it's a dollar.
177
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,673
Uh, hey, listen, they're doing
a reading of some of
178
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,328
Ginsberg's early works
tonight at Langley College.
179
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,764
Would you like to go with me?
180
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:45,116
Well, I can't really do that.
181
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,468
See, my sister kind of...
182
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,296
well, she really wanted to...
183
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,387
Well, she's a drip so who
cares what she wants?
184
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,738
Great.
185
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,391
Great, I'll, uh, pick you up
at seven at your place.
186
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,350
Where do you live?
187
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,221
You don't have to come
to my house.
COOK: Up and ready.
188
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,614
Hey, how about if
I meet you in
189
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,268
front of the student union
building?
190
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,661
Oh, okay, I'll I'll see you
there at seven thirty?
191
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,966
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
192
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,185
Yeah.
Okay.
193
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,839
Bye.
Bye.
194
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,754
[CHATTER]
195
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,236
COOK: Four hamburgers,
getting cold.
196
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,633
Well, what was he like?
Tell me everything.
197
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:28,812
He was so quiet,
I couldn't find out a thing.
198
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,292
Nothing?
199
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,076
Don't worry.
200
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,688
I'm going to keep talking
to him every chance I get.
201
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,472
It may take weeks,
202
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,822
it may take months,
203
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:41,869
but I'm going to keep
talking to him...for you.
204
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,959
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
205
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,438
Dana, you're the best.
206
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,268
I wouldn't go that far.
207
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:53,141
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
208
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,099
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
209
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:58,712
Dana: I'm telling you,
he is gorgeous.
210
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,888
We went to a poetry
reading last night
211
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,673
and we're going to dinner
and a movie tonight.
212
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,679
No, Linda, I did not steal
Michael from Karen.
213
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,246
He's not her boyfriend.
214
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,641
Hey, whose side are you on?
215
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,294
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
216
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,558
No, no, I don't have any reason
to feel guilty.
217
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,257
Look, I gotta go before
Karen comes in.
218
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:23,911
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
219
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,522
Dana: Alright. I'll talk
to you later. Bye.
220
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:27,610
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
221
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,003
Well, what'd she say?
222
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:31,048
Come on, what'd she say?
223
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,660
Dana is stealing
Karen's boyfriend!
224
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:34,835
Dude.
225
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,576
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
226
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,403
Guys, it's moments like this
227
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,015
that makes all those hours
of recording Dana and Karen's
228
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,017
boring phone calls worthwhile.
229
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,672
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
230
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,370
You know, I just had
an interesting thought.
231
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,807
If we told Karen this,
she'd kill Dana.
232
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,331
Yeah.
233
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,986
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
234
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,641
Chick fight.
Chick fight.
235
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,121
Chick fight.
236
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:04,299
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
237
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,825
ANNOUNCER: Looking for
the perfect gift
238
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,392
for the outdoorsman
in your family?
Well, look no more.
239
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,568
Wizco presents
"The Fishin' Magician."
240
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,657
37 fishing tools in one.
241
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,224
Everything you
need to catch it,
242
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,313
gut it, bone it,
fry it and eat it.
243
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,228
And it all hangs
right on your belt.
244
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,012
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
245
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,535
Gotta have that.
246
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,102
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
247
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,104
All this for just $19.95.
248
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,585
Call now.
Operators are standing by.
249
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,588
Ha ha. Yeah,"Fishin' Magician?"
250
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,765
Look, I gotta go.
251
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:39,290
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
252
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,205
Who was that?
253
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:42,990
Ah, some jerk trying to sell me
something over the phone.
254
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,731
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
255
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,515
Look, Frank, you know,
I've been thinking.
256
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,386
I know this dancing
thing is awkward for you,
257
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,040
but I think I've come up
with a solution.
258
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:51,999
I bought this "Learn How
To Dance" kit.
259
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:54,784
Oh, honey, would you drop
the dancing thing?
260
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,830
I don't make you do
things you don't want to do.
261
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,483
Oh, right, like it
was my idea to
262
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,268
ride that pig
at the state fair.
263
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,444
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
264
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,750
Now, that was fun.
265
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,839
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
266
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:09,016
Frank, I rode a pig for you,
you can learn to dance.
267
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:11,322
Okay,
Okay, here. You put
the music on,
268
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,194
and I'll set up
the dance floor.
269
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,110
See, this kit comes with these
little plastic feet
270
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,981
with numbers on them. And you
271
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,201
just lay them down on the floor
and then you follow along.
272
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,551
Well, now, honey, I'm warning
you, my mom tried to teach me
273
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,988
how to dance when I was 13.
That's why she has that limp.
274
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,555
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
275
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,688
Come on, Frank,
just give it a try.
276
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,081
Okay!
277
00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,213
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]
278
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,344
Oh!
279
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,346
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
280
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,913
Now,
281
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,701
one two three,
282
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,529
one ow! Frank,
the pink feet are mine.
283
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:47,445
Well, I'm sorry, I saw
a three and went for it, okay?
284
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,447
Well, Frank, concentrate.
285
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,406
Carol, I hate this
dancing thing.
286
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,147
I don't want to
do it anymore.
287
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,714
Well, that's great, Frank.
288
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,977
I ask you to do one little thing
but you won't do it.
289
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,935
Fine, if that's the way
you want it, fine.
290
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,329
See if I ride anymore
pigs for you.
291
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:04,288
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
292
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,464
ANNOUNCER: And one, two, three.
293
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,118
Aren't we having fun?
294
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,816
Shut up!
295
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,167
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
296
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:20,348
Hey, Karen.
Got something for you.
297
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:23,438
A baseball bat?
Why would I want that?
298
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:26,441
Oh, I don't know.
Go down to the batting cage,
299
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,269
hit a few fungos,
300
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:29,705
kill Dana in her sleep.
301
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,707
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
302
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,231
JT, what are you talking about?
303
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:37,234
You know that guy Michael
you're so hot for?
304
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,585
Dana's been dating
him for a week.
305
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,413
What?
306
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,025
Yep. She's meeting him down
at the 50's Cafe in an hour.
307
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,069
You're lying.
308
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,029
If only I were.
309
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,771
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
310
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,512
DANA: No, Linda, I did not
steal Michael from Karen.
311
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:55,818
He's not her boyfriend.
312
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:58,081
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
313
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:01,389
DANA: No, Linda, I did not
steal Michael from Karen.
314
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:02,651
He's not her boyfriend.
315
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,522
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
316
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,655
I'll kill her.
Okay, alright.
Now, remember,
317
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,657
swing with your whole body.
318
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,399
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
319
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,881
No, bruises heal.
320
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,840
But emotional pain
lasts a lifetime.
321
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,494
Ooh, I like the
way you think.
322
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,061
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
323
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,411
What are you going to do?
Watch and learn.
324
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,111
Hello, Michael?
325
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:31,506
This is Karen Foster,
Dana's sister.
326
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,683
There's something you need
to know about Dana.
327
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,511
I hate to be the
one to tell you,
328
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,035
but she's not 18,
329
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,386
she's 14.
330
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,301
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
331
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,520
Life is good.
332
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:48,479
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
333
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:51,265
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
334
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,228
Cook: Order fries, pick up.
335
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,449
I never thought I'd say this,
but Karen is a genius.
336
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,494
Dana is gonna die.
337
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:06,323
There she is.
338
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:07,455
Show time.
339
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,285
Hi. You look nice.
340
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,724
Listen, I think
we need to talk.
341
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,465
What's wrong?
342
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,075
I think you know
what's wrong.
343
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,382
Dana, we can't keep
seeing each other.
344
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:24,776
Why not?
The age thing.
345
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,302
You're 21 and I'm 18.
What's the big deal?
346
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,870
Come on, Dana. I spoke to
your big sister, Karen.
347
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,872
She told me you're only 14.
348
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,571
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
349
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:37,789
14?
350
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,054
I'm not 14, I'm 18.
351
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,578
Dana, this isn't funny. I could
get in a lot of trouble.
352
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,275
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
353
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,060
Look, Karen is lying.
354
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,452
She said you'd say that.
355
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,455
I am not 14.
356
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,631
Do I look 14?
357
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,764
No, not with all that
makeup and those fake
358
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:57,592
boobs.
359
00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:01,291
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
360
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,815
Hey, these boobs are
real, buddy!
361
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,253
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
362
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,173
Excuse me, this is
a private conversation!
363
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,697
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
364
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742
Dana, Dana,
365
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,484
Dana, take it easy. Look, there
is nothing wrong with being 14.
366
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,357
It's a wonderful age.
367
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,054
Don't be in such
a hurry to grow up.
368
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:28,101
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
369
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,189
Hey, Dana.
370
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,365
JT, thank God you're here.
371
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:35,195
Gee, is there some sort
of a problem?
372
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,675
Yes. Tell Michael how old I am.
373
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:40,026
Oh, okay, sure, sure. You just
had a birthday, right?
374
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,941
Right.
Okay. She's fourteen.
375
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,944
Tell the truth. Tell the truth.
Tell the truth.
376
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,336
Tell the truth.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
377
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,816
You know, they hit
puberty and
378
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,165
their hormones just
go crazy, you know?
379
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,993
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
380
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,864
I'm going to kill Karen.
381
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,868
She used to be such
a sweet little girl.
382
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,435
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
383
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,002
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
384
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:05,007
Hey, Uncle Frank.
Hey, Cody.
385
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,791
Whoa, hey, what's wrong?
386
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,532
Did you eat one of those
burritos off the truck again?
387
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,143
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
388
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,232
No. Carol's mad at me.
389
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:15,409
Well, no wonder. You tracked
paint all over the floor.
390
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,237
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
391
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:19,239
Cody, these are used to
teach you how to dance.
392
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,719
Carol's mad at me
because I won't learn.
393
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,199
Why is it women
make such a
394
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,332
big deal out of us
dancing with them?
395
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,855
Well, Uncle Frank,
396
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,641
it all goes back
to ancient times.
397
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,166
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
398
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,560
Now, when tribal male would be
invited to a social gathering,
399
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:39,520
the male would be perfectly
happy to sit by the fire
400
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,913
and just stare into the flames.
401
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,828
This, of course, was
before cable television.
402
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,048
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
403
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,658
The women, on the other hand,
404
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,225
craved human contact.
405
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,661
You know, they needed
to be close
406
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,446
to their men, to know
they were loved.
407
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,535
Well, I want Carol to know
that I love her, but
408
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,406
what am I gonna do?
I just can't dance.
409
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:59,061
Hey, if I can dance,
anybody can dance.
410
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,194
You know how to dance?
411
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,412
Yeah, buddy.
412
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,153
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
413
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,243
I do the Tango, the Mambo,
the Samba, the Fox Trot,
414
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,550
the Cha cha cha and a pretty
mean Bossa Nova,
415
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,855
if I do say so myself.
416
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,422
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
417
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:13,989
Where did you
learn all that?
418
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,425
Well, I was supposed
to take guitar lessons,
419
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:16,905
but I went in the
wrong building.
420
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:19,560
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
421
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:25,522
I don't know what to do.
Carol is so mad at me.
422
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,830
Uncle Frank,
423
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,527
for the sake of your
marriage, I'm going to say
424
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,573
something to you I never thought
I'd never hear myself say.
425
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:33,661
What?
426
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:36,925
May I have this dance?
427
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,796
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
428
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,326
I don't have time right now.
429
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,327
But later, I'm going to have
a lot of questions.
430
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,807
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
431
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,377
[DOOR CLOSES]
432
00:17:55,509 --> 00:18:00,166
You conniving little snake.
433
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:03,734
Now, now. Is that any way
for a 14 year old to talk?
434
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:06,128
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
435
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,217
You had no right to do that.
436
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,654
And you had no right to
steal my boyfriend.
437
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,830
Michael was never
your boyfriend.
438
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,311
He would have been,
if it wasn't for you.
439
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:18,445
You're just mad because for
once, a guy picked me over you.
440
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,751
You cheated.
What difference does it make?
441
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,319
You're gonna find another
guy in two seconds anyway.
442
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,713
You always do. Just flutter
your eyelashes and
443
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,497
smile and guys fall all
over you.
444
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,846
It's easy for you.
445
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,021
For me?
446
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,762
You're the one
who has it easy.
447
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:35,201
I have to flirt, I don't have
all the things you have.
448
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,290
Please.
It's true.
449
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,641
You're smart, you're funny, and
you always know what to say.
450
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:42,512
You can have any guy you want.
451
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:45,515
If I was you, I wouldn't have
to work so hard to get guys.
452
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,128
Wait a minute.
453
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,130
Are you saying you're
jealous of me?
454
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,091
Well... yeah.
455
00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,312
I can't believe this.
456
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,922
You're the one
who's always saying
457
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,054
that guys aren't interested
in a girl's mind.
458
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,362
Well, I just say that because,
459
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,060
you know,
460
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,932
I'm not very smart.
461
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,457
Yes, you are.
462
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,720
You're smart and
you're beautiful.
463
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,548
That's why you get all
the guys.
464
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,248
I'm just smart.
465
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:25,076
What are you talking about?
You're gorgeous.
466
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,513
No, I'm not.
467
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,863
Of course you are.
468
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,821
Hey, I spend a lot
of time listening in
469
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,084
on guys' conversations
at school
470
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,826
and, believe me,
they think you're hot.
471
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,874
The guys at school really
think I'm hot?
472
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,010
I can't believe you
didn't know that.
473
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:52,408
Well, I can't believe that you
don't know that you're smart.
474
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,542
Dana, you don't
have to say that.
475
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:56,804
Yes, I do.
476
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,675
Because you
need to hear it.
477
00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:01,852
You're a lot smarter than
you give yourself credit for.
478
00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,594
Well, if I'm so smart, why don't
I get the same grades you do?
479
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:07,815
Because you don't study for
19 hours a day.
480
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:10,905
Unlike me,
you actually have a life.
481
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:13,299
And besides that,
you have people smarts.
482
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,431
You know how
to size people up,
483
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:18,173
how to handle
tough situations,
484
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,045
how to tell a guy I'm 14 and
make me look like a jerk.
485
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,874
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
486
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:26,747
Yeah, I guess I am
kind of smart.Yeah.
487
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,532
Thanks, Dana.
488
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:30,968
I'm glad you're my sister.
489
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:32,405
Me, too.
490
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:35,190
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
491
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,544
Here, Mom,
492
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,243
I found these dishes
under JT's bed.
493
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,680
You might want to
let them soak for a while.
494
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,638
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
495
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:52,425
Well, I've got a
big test tomorrow
496
00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:53,687
so I'm gonna go to bed early.
497
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,079
Okay. Goodnight, honey.
Goodnight.
498
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,343
Don't forget to
brush your teeth.
499
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:59,214
Okay. Okay.
And don't go to sleep if your
hair's still wet.
500
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:00,955
And remember,
when you grow up,
501
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,000
make sure you dance
with your wife.
502
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:05,916
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
503
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:08,658
Carol, would you come
in the living room?
504
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:09,964
Well, Frank, I'm kind of busy.
505
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,574
Please, honey,
it'll just take a minute.
506
00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,098
Fine.
507
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,014
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
508
00:21:21,192 --> 00:21:22,193
What's going on?
509
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,066
May I have this dance?
510
00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:28,199
♪ It had to be you
511
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,636
You learned to dance?
512
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:32,769
When? How?
513
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:35,729
It all started when Cody
went to take guitar lessons.
514
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:38,471
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
515
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:40,951
Believe me,you' re better
off not knowing the rest.
516
00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:43,040
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
517
00:21:43,127 --> 00:21:45,695
Oh, this is so sweet of you.
518
00:21:45,782 --> 00:21:48,481
And you're good, too.
So light on your feet.
519
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,917
That's what Cody says.
520
00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:53,486
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
521
00:21:53,573 --> 00:21:55,879
♪ Could give me a thrill
522
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:58,447
♪ With all of your faults
523
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:00,754
♪ I love you still
524
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:03,322
♪ It had to be you
525
00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:06,847
♪ Wonderful you
526
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:09,197
♪ It had to be you
527
00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:12,983
Are you sure JT will
fall for this?
528
00:22:13,070 --> 00:22:14,594
I guarantee it.
529
00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:16,030
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
530
00:22:16,117 --> 00:22:17,205
I got it.
531
00:22:18,293 --> 00:22:19,990
Linda? Perfect timing.
532
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,688
Okay, now, put down the phone,
we'll take it from here.
533
00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:26,780
Dana: Karen, it's for you.
It's a boy.
534
00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:28,912
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
535
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:39,314
Hi, Jimmy, I'm so
glad you called.
536
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,750
You know, I've been
thinking about
537
00:22:40,837 --> 00:22:42,186
what we can do on our
date Friday night.
538
00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:43,884
Let's go for a drive
539
00:22:43,971 --> 00:22:47,453
and then park in a
nice, dark, romantic place.
540
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,542
Then, let's get in the
back seat,
541
00:22:49,629 --> 00:22:51,892
and then, here's what
we're going to do.
542
00:22:51,979 --> 00:22:53,241
Are you listening?
543
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:56,505
[AIRHORNS BLOW]
544
00:22:56,592 --> 00:22:57,854
JT: Owww!
37829
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