Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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"Find x and y
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00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:08,051
by solving Y in terms of X,
4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,532
then substituting
to determine Y."
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[SCOFFS] Yeah, right.
6
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:15,363
Hey, JT.
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Hey, Cody. Do you know anything
about simultaneous equations?
8
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,199
Ah, you mean, like,
when you're working
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00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,592
with X and Y and you have
to solve Y in terms of X,
10
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,203
and then substitute
to determine Y?
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00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:33,207
Yeah.
No.
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00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:34,251
Sorry, dude.
13
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,692
Man, I'm never gonna
figure this stuff out.
14
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:46,568
Dexter.
15
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:56,926
Dexter, JT Lambert here.
16
00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:58,884
Yeah, I'm just calling
to say congratulations
17
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,799
on being voted
President of the Math Club.
18
00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,413
Hey, I think that's super.
19
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,284
Listen, I just finished
the algebra homework
20
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,721
and wanted to check
a couple of answers.
21
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,288
Yeah, what'd you get
for number one?
22
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,684
Yep. Yep, that's what I got.
23
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:17,947
What'd you get for number two?
24
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,255
Yup.
25
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:22,952
Why don't you run through the
rest of the answers real quick?
26
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,347
Yup.
27
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,391
Uh-huh.
28
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,654
Yup.
29
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,569
Yup, all right. Great!
30
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,354
Great, thanks a lot, Dexter.
31
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:34,485
All right, bye-bye.
32
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,445
Algebra, done!
33
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,011
Hello, Son.
Hi, Dad.
34
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,930
Hello.
Let me, uh...
35
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,236
throw that plate away for you.
36
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,411
No, really, I'll get it.
It's okay.
37
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,283
No. No, I insist. It's really--
38
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,371
JT: No, I'll get it!
Frank: I'll do it. I'll do it.
39
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,026
Oh, man!
40
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:57,465
JT, do your own homework.
41
00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,249
Man, this stinks. I mean,
in 20 years from now
42
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,772
I'm not gonna need algebra.
43
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,339
You will if you're
still in high school.
44
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,128
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
45
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:22,142
[SCREAMING]
46
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,581
♪ The dream wide broken
47
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,670
♪ Seemed like all was lost
48
00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:30,454
♪ What would be the future?
49
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,239
♪ Could you pay the cost?
50
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,588
♪ You wonder
51
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,198
♪ Will there ever be
52
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,982
♪ A second time around?
53
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,072
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
54
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,118
♪ When the tears are over
55
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:44,164
♪ And the moment has come
56
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:47,863
♪ Say "My lord,
I think I found someone"
57
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,734
♪ 'Cause you're Putting it together
58
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,475
♪ To be putting it together
59
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:54,261
♪ For the second time around
60
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:03,139
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
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00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,358
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
62
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,055
♪ A fresh start over
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00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,970
♪ A different hand to play
64
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,015
♪ The deeper we fall
65
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:12,235
♪ The stronger we stay
66
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,758
MAN:
♪ It will be better
67
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,760
♪ The second time around
68
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:19,721
ALL:
♪ Step by Step, day by day
69
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,679
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
70
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,768
MAN:
♪ Second time around
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00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:37,434
[MUSIC PLAYING]
72
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:43,440
Aw, honey, look at this.
73
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:46,051
Some farmer in Sheboygan
grew a potato that looks
74
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,531
just like General Schwartzkopf.
75
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,362
Well, hot damn.
Let's throw the young ones
76
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:54,234
in the truck
and go have a look-see.
77
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,112
Mom, can I borrow the car?
78
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,331
Sorry, honey, I need it today.
79
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,681
For what?
80
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,857
Oh, nothing much.
I just have to pick up
81
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,641
the cleaning,
go to the post office,
82
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,904
take Al to soccer practice,
Brendan to little league,
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00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,602
go to the bank,
the hardware store,
84
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,387
the shoe repair
and the drug store.
85
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,737
You know,
just a joy ride kind of day.
86
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,525
Well, how am I
supposed to get to the library?
87
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,222
What, are your
legs broken? Walk.
88
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,834
Walk? It's almost a mile.
89
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,098
A mile?
90
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,144
Woah, Dana, you better
water up the camels.
91
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,757
Dad, I'm going to the park
to shoot some baskets.
92
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,585
Wait a minute, JT.
93
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,283
Did you do your homework?
94
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,980
Yeah, once.
But you tore up my plate.
95
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,899
JT, go upstairs,
finish your homework
96
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,379
and don't forget
it's your day to
mow the lawn.
97
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,469
Man, this stinks.
98
00:04:55,556 --> 00:04:57,862
I can't wait until I'm an adult
and I can just goof off all day.
99
00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:02,998
Is that what you think
we do, son? Goof off all day?
100
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,782
Well, look at the evidence.
101
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,523
I've got homework and chores,
and you're sitting there
102
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,351
on your keister,
reading the newspaper.
103
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,703
Yeah. For once, I agree with JT.
104
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,097
It's a lot easier
being a parent than being a kid.
105
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,620
Parents have all the power.
106
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:17,752
Power is good.
107
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,582
You know, one day
you'll have kids of your own
108
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,279
and you'll see
it's not as easy you think.
109
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,021
Yeah, I say that
we find out this weekend.
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00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,936
Yeah, you find the girl,
I'll have the kids.
111
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,245
No, JT. What I mean is,
let's try a little experiment.
112
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,335
This weekend,
we'll trade places.
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00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,640
Carol and I will be the kids,
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00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,250
you and Dana be the parents.
115
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,774
Frank, are you nuts?
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00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:40,949
No. No, honey.
I think this is going to be
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00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,472
very educational.
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00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,561
Dana will take on
your responsibilities
119
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,868
and JT will take on mine.
120
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:47,999
And, what are
we gonna be doing?
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00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,741
We're gonna be teenagers.
122
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,483
Ooh, I like this.
123
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,574
Yeah, me too.
Sounds like it's gonna be fun.
124
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:58,923
I'll tell you what,
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00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,490
let's make it more fun.
126
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,536
I'll bet you both
a whole month's allowance
127
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:04,364
that by the end
of the weekend,
128
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,540
you'll come crawling back,
begging to be teenagers again.
129
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,933
It's a bet.
130
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,195
[FRANK LAUGHING IN CONTEMPT]
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00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,548
So, we get to be the parents
132
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,854
and have the power?
133
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,595
That's right.
All of the power?
134
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,075
CAROL: Mm-hmm.
135
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,163
Power is good.
136
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:26,168
Okay. So, I'm the dad.
137
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,343
Guess the first thing I'll do
138
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,823
is strip down to my boxers,
139
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,781
scratch my butt
and do a little channel surfing.
140
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,264
[MARK SCREAMING]
141
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,614
Run for your life!
Dana is in charge!
142
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:39,964
[MUSIC PLAYING]
143
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,102
Okay, open up and say "ah."
144
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,106
Ah, looking good,
like a dipstick should.
145
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,022
That wasn't so bad now, was it?
146
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,895
Hey, the Slasher!
147
00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,202
and the lovely Mrs. Slasher.
148
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,987
Hey, Codeman, thanks for getting
the bike ready so fast.
149
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,685
You're the greatest.
150
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,556
Now, Deb and I can take it
on our second honeymoon with us.
151
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,558
No problem, man.
152
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,168
Where are you guys going anyway?
153
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:11,996
Bismark, North Dakota.
154
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,911
Wow, Bismark.
155
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,697
The Club Med of the Black Hills.
156
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,307
That should be a lovely ride
this time of the year.
157
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,657
Oh, we'll be picking bugs
out of each other's teeth
158
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,616
for about a thousand miles.
159
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:25,140
Oh, Slash, you're so romantic.
160
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,144
Woah.
161
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,886
Love, American style.
162
00:07:31,973 --> 00:07:34,018
Man, you guys are so lucky
to have found each other.
163
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,280
Hey, you're telling me.
164
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:36,760
Seemed like
the only guys I ever met
165
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,240
were losers and weirdos.
166
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:40,111
Until, Mr. Right
here came along.
167
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,637
Yeah, how did
you guys meet, anyway?
168
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,899
It was fate.
169
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,074
Kismet.
170
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,597
Destiny.
171
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,077
I put a personal ad
in a biker magazine.
172
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:51,645
That's the Slash.
173
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,211
Looking for love
in all the right places.
174
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:54,604
Yeah.
Yeah.
175
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,258
I keep a copy
of the ad in my wallet
176
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,042
for sentimental reasons.
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00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,436
All right.
Let me check this out.
178
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,177
"The Slash,
179
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:05,180
young, good-looking biker,
with tasteful tattoos,
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00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,834
and Harvard business degree,
181
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:09,314
seeks beautiful biker woman
for the long ride."
182
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,402
Woah--
183
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,189
How could I resist?
184
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,321
Oh, honey,
save some for Bismark?
185
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:21,631
You know, I've never been
a big fan of personal ads
186
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,764
but, I mean,
it worked for you guys.
187
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,156
Maybe, it can work for me.
188
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,593
I mean, out there somewhere
189
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,290
in some all-night
auto-parts store,
190
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:31,075
could be the girl
of my dreams,
you know?
191
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,686
With a can of Valvoline
in one hand,
192
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,165
and a set of wrenches
in the other.
193
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,604
That's such a beautiful picture.
194
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,648
CODY: Yeah.
195
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,435
[INDISTINCT TV NOISE]
196
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,135
Excuse me, son.
197
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,487
Oh, yeah, Dad?
198
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,535
Is this yours?
Oh, yeah.
199
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:56,666
I guess, I left it upstairs.
200
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,364
Well, what did you think
it was gonna do?
201
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,062
Walk downstairs,
jump in the sink
202
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,150
and wash itself?
203
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,546
Guy, Dad. Have a cow,
why don't you?
204
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,767
Well, I'm not gonna wash it.
205
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,508
You're gonna
wash it yourself, mister.
206
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,553
Duh.
207
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,389
Man, I'm beat.
208
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:25,956
I'm sick of doing laundry.
209
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,351
I mean, we're the parents right?
210
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:30,700
Why can't we
just burn this stuff
211
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:31,745
and buy them new clothes?
212
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,139
Look, don't tell me
your problems.
213
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,706
I've been
in this kitchen all day,
214
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,055
cooking for those brats.
215
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,579
"I'm hungry."
"I want a sandwich."
216
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,102
"Make me a hamburger."
217
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,407
What do they think this is,
a restaurant?
218
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,672
I'm hungry.
What's for dinner?
219
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:48,762
Spaghetti.
220
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,242
With mushrooms?
221
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,505
Ew, barf. I'm not eating that.
222
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:55,899
Yes, you are.
223
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,772
That's what's for dinner.
224
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,295
Tough. I'm eating cookies.
225
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,559
Hey, don't eat that.
226
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,169
Hey, spit it out! Now, come on.
227
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,649
Brendan, spit it out. Out!
228
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,172
Now, spit it out.
229
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,521
Brendan, you better
spit out that cookie!
230
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,914
Now! Spit it out!
231
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,002
Spit it out!
232
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,613
Spit it out, now! Out!
233
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,614
DANA: Spit it out.
Problem?
234
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,311
Mom?
235
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,183
No, uh...
236
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,011
Brendan, just ate
a little bit too fast.
237
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,884
She's trying to kill me!
238
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,103
Kids.
239
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,892
They say the darnedest things.
240
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,850
Now, run along
and wash up, you little scamp.
241
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,855
Oh, I won't be home for dinner.
242
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,770
Frankie's taking me
to the movies.
243
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:41,815
He's so cute.
244
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,950
Be back by 11:00.
That's your curfew.
245
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,649
Curfew? Huh.
246
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,695
Man, that is so lame.
I might as well be in prison.
247
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,697
Hey. Look, when you live
in your own house,
248
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:55,872
you can make your own rules.
249
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,266
But, until then,
you live by mine!
250
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,357
Ooh! That felt good.
251
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,229
[MUSIC PLAYING]
252
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,715
Man, I shouldn't
have to do this.
253
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,760
This is women's work.
254
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,285
Shut up and fold, cave boy.
255
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,857
Hey, we're home!
256
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:26,947
Ooh, folding laundry
on a Saturday night.
257
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,818
You parent
really know how to have fun.
258
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,952
Yeah, right.
259
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:33,301
Sounds like,
somebody might be ready
260
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:36,043
to admit it's not so easy
being a parent.
261
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,697
And give up a month's allowance?
262
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,089
Ha, no way.
263
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:40,177
That's fine with me.
264
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,701
I can go on being a kid, like...
265
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:42,745
forever.
266
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,575
Well, I guess
I better go to bed.
267
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:49,186
After all, I'm a teenager
and I have to be up by...
268
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:50,840
Monday.
269
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,019
Can you believe that?
270
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:57,151
She just went upstairs
empty handed.
271
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:59,719
What do I look like, a maid?
272
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,503
Don't walk away from me,
young lady.
273
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,727
Well, I guess I'll turn in too.
274
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:11,121
I got a big day
of watching football tomorrow.
275
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,775
And mowing the lawn.
276
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,429
I'll mow the lawn.
And washing the cars.
277
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,909
I'll wash the cars.
278
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,432
And doing your algebra homework.
279
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,999
Yeah-- Excuse me?
280
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,220
Well, you're me, remember?
281
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,918
You've got
a take home test on algebra.
282
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,484
You better do well.
'Cause I hear you're flunking.
283
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,488
JT, I don't do algebra.
284
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:33,796
Oh, sounds like somebody
might be ready to admit
285
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,580
it's not so easy
being a teenager.
286
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,887
Ready to quit?
287
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,672
When pigs fly.
288
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,066
Well, that might happen sooner
than you can do algebra.
289
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,417
Nighty night, son
290
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:48,724
[MUSIC PLAYING]
291
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:43,300
Hey, Dana.
292
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,478
That is a really,
good look for you.
293
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,961
Eat worms.
294
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,050
No thanks, I already had
your spaghetti last night.
295
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,793
Hey, I forbid you
296
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,143
to go anywhere
until you finish your homework.
297
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,188
Yeah, right.
298
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,239
Hey, Dana.
What can I have for breakfast?
299
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,459
Doughnuts, ice cream
or chocolate cake?
300
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,767
Eat whatever you want.
What do I care?
301
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,813
Gee, thanks!
302
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,249
You're a great mom.
303
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:24,994
Well, I'm off to the mall.
304
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,430
Uh, um...
[CLEARS THROAT]
305
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,475
Wait a second.
306
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,438
Car keys?
307
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,571
Excuse me?
308
00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,703
I need the car
to go grocery shopping.
309
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,270
Well, how am I
supposed to get to the mall?
310
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,795
What's the matter?
Are your legs broken?
311
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,884
Walk.
312
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,888
[CAROL SIGHS]
313
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,454
[GRUMBLING] I don't like
any of this game at all.
314
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,762
Not so fast.
315
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:56,069
Checkbook?
What?
316
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,418
You're a teenager.
317
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,115
You don't have a checkbook.
318
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,597
Or credit cards. Gimme.
319
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,601
Okay.
320
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,211
You're the mom.
321
00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:09,996
Oh, and uh...
take off some of that make up.
322
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,649
I don't want people to think
I'm raising a tramp.
323
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,744
You know, Dana,
I hope you're enjoying this,
324
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:22,617
because, tomorrow,
when I'm the mom again,
325
00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:23,792
you're gonna pay for that one.
326
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,363
[LOW TEMPO MUSIC]
327
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,546
Hi, Cody.
Hey, the Kare Bear.
328
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,637
Doing a little nail maintenance?
329
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,291
Just, had to get away from Dana.
330
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:47,468
Smart move. I heard
it's a "tude" city in there.
331
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,339
What're you doing?
332
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,646
Oh, I'm writing a personal ad
to the Biker's Quarterly.
333
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,692
I'm on a quest
to find the babe of my dreams.
334
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:55,998
Cody, do you think
you can find love
335
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,087
in a motorcycle magazine?
336
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,176
Well, that's where I found
my bike, and I love that.
337
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,571
Can I hear what you wrote?
338
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,312
Wow, I'll be honored.
339
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,749
I mean, after all, you are
the family expert on love.
340
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,620
The Duchess of dating,
341
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,884
the Countess of courting,
our Fair Lady of the lip lock.
342
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,712
Oh, Cody,
you don't have to say that.
343
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,279
Well, it's true.
344
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,107
I know, I'm just practicing
being modest.
345
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,415
Okay. Well...
346
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:22,938
tell me if you think
this will net me a love trout.
347
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,162
"Young, level-headed, hog dude,"
348
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,206
that's me.
349
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,689
"Seeks tall, non-smoking,
bodacious babe, to share
350
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,344
long walks
and monster truck rallies.
351
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,998
Neil Diamond fans
need not apply."
352
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:41,609
What do you think?
353
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,350
Well, sounds okay.
354
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:46,440
But I think, you should say more
good things about yourself.
355
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,659
Well, you know, I was gonna
mention that I live in my van,
356
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,444
but I don't want
any gold diggers.
357
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:57,929
Yeah. Is this
the Get-Away Travel Agency?
358
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,888
Yeah, I have a little
scheduling problem here.
359
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,847
"If train A leaves Boston
360
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:09,071
at 7:00 a.m. and train B
leaves Portland at 9:00 a.m.
361
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,291
and they're both
going 60 miles an hour,
362
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,335
where and when will they meet?"
363
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,339
No. No, no, this isn't homework.
I really am going from Boston
364
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:17,384
to Portland.
365
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,300
Jerk.
366
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:23,564
Yeah.
367
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:36,751
Son.
368
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,668
You know, when you cheat,
369
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,148
you're only cheating yourself.
370
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,849
Come on, JT. Give me a break.
I've been out of school
371
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,417
for 20 years.
I can't do this stuff.
372
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,289
Well, then we'll just
have to get you a tutor.
373
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:56,292
And where are you going
to find a tutor, on a Sunday?
374
00:17:57,946 --> 00:18:00,079
Mark!
375
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,863
Oh, no. You can't lock me
in a room with Mr. Wizard
376
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,386
and an algebra book.
377
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,388
Well, sure I can.
I'm the dad, remember?
378
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:07,869
Hello.
379
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,131
You rang, father?
380
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,701
Yes, yes. Your older
but slower brother
381
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,920
is having trouble
with his algebra.
382
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,097
Could you please help him
with chapter seven, please?
383
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,141
My pleasure.
384
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,101
Ooh, train problems.
385
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,539
You're having trouble
with these?
386
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,193
They are child's play.
387
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,020
Well, if it's so simple,
you figure it out.
388
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:31,588
Boston.
389
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:34,591
Portland... 60 miles an hour.
390
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,985
The answer is 2:43 p.m.
Central Standard Time,
391
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,378
the following day,
in Dubuque, Iowa.
392
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,558
Now, Mark... Mark, make sure
393
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,125
young Franklin does his work
394
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,604
on his own.
395
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,302
It's the only way
he's gonna learn.
396
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,046
Gee, Frank. The two of us
doing algebra together,
397
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,700
sounds like an equation for fun.
398
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,661
[MARK LAUGHING]
399
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,014
Bunch of slobs.
400
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,329
[MUFFLED MOANING]
401
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,157
[MOANING]
402
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,377
What's your problem?
403
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,510
My stomach hurts.
404
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,120
Maybe, it's something you ate.
405
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:27,078
I don't think so.
406
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,516
All I had was
a bag of doughnuts,
407
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,083
some ice cream
and a chocolate cake.
408
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,478
You ate all that junk?
409
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:36,827
You told me I could.
410
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:38,307
Well, I was being sarcastic.
411
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,353
I didn't think
you'd actually do it.
412
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,572
A real mom
would have stopped me.
413
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:44,879
Come on, you have to.
414
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,446
Get away from me.
415
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,230
I am tired of doing
things for you brats.
416
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,276
But I need a ride
to soccer practice.
417
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:51,364
Who cares?
418
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,542
JT,
419
00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:57,152
You need to go to the drugstore,
Brendan has a stomach ache.
420
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,285
Too bad, I've been
running errands all day.
421
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:00,677
I have an emergency.
422
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,636
I need
a ride downtown, immediately.
423
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,464
I need a ride
to soccer practice.
424
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,161
Listen, you're not getting--
Yes, I am!
425
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,815
I need lip gloss!
I'm not getting you any--
426
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,425
You are supposed to be dad.
I don't care.
427
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:10,426
He always takes me.
I'm not doing it!
428
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,167
Shut up, you whiny little brats!
429
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,344
I think I'm gonna hurl.
430
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:18,695
I'm outta here.
431
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:19,740
I don't need lip gloss.
432
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,656
JT, do something.
433
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:26,964
Can't you hold until Monday?
434
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:33,014
All right, now, Mark,
just give me those answers.
435
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:35,364
Frank, you're not forming
good study habits.
436
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:37,584
Look!
437
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:38,672
[FRANK YELLING]
Hi, Mom. Bye, Mom.
438
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:41,327
I hate your son.
439
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:43,807
I hate my daughter.
440
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,766
What happened to you?
Dana made me walk
441
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,942
to the mall.
Do you know how far that is?
442
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:51,685
No, and I don't know what time
Train A gets there, either.
443
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,122
Frank, I have had it
with being a teenager.
444
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,515
Yeah, so have I.
445
00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:59,083
Mom.
446
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,694
Dad.
447
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,696
We need to talk to you
about this trading places thing.
448
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:05,307
Look, you guys were right.
449
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,135
We can't handle being parents.
450
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,137
Yeah. Yeah, we give up.
451
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:10,530
That's too bad,
452
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,401
Carol and I
were really enjoying being kids.
453
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:13,533
We were hoping it could last out
454
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,577
till the end of the month.
455
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,670
Grow up, Frank.
456
00:21:20,757 --> 00:21:23,586
The truth is, we forgot
how hard it is to be a teenager.
457
00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:26,023
You don't have a car,
you don't have much money.
458
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:29,897
It is no fun having people tell
you what to do all the time.
459
00:21:29,984 --> 00:21:32,160
I think, Carol learned
a real good lesson this weekend.
460
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:35,598
Well, we--
461
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:37,687
We all learned a lesson.
462
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:39,602
I forgot how hard algebra was.
463
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:42,605
I wouldn't be
a teenager again for anything.
464
00:21:42,692 --> 00:21:44,520
I'll tell you what,
let's just call this bet even
465
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:47,001
and we'll get back
to normal, okay?
466
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,916
So, does this mean
that you guys are
467
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:50,483
the parents again
and we're the teenagers?
468
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,223
Yes.
469
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,225
Good, 'cause Brendan
just threw up all over his bed.
470
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,967
What? And you left it there?
471
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,969
What do you expect? We are kids.
472
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:00,754
Oh, come on, Frank.
Let's clean it up.
473
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,233
FRANK: Now?
CAROL: Yes, now.
474
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,713
FRANK: Can't we just
throw sawdust on it
475
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,758
and sweep it up later?
476
00:22:07,717 --> 00:22:09,371
How long do you think
it'll be, before she remembers
477
00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:11,025
that I still have
her credit cards?
478
00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:13,027
[CAROL YELLING] Dana,
I want my credit cards back!
479
00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:17,858
Boy, they got this
parenting thing down.
480
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:28,259
Hey, Cody. There's a letter here
and I think it's for you.
481
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,480
It's addressed to "Level-headed,
hog dude, in Port Washington."
482
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,439
Sounds like me.
483
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:35,092
Must be a response to my ad.
484
00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:39,096
Yeah.
485
00:22:39,183 --> 00:22:40,707
"Dear Cody,
486
00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:44,406
I'm a non-smoking,
bodacious babe.All right.
487
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:47,017
I love long walks
and monster truck rallies."
488
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,019
No, way.
489
00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:51,108
Sounds like the Codeman has a
reservation on the "Love Boat."
490
00:22:53,023 --> 00:22:55,069
"As you can see
by the enclosed gift
491
00:22:55,156 --> 00:22:57,027
"I really know my way
around a metal shop.
492
00:22:57,114 --> 00:22:58,202
"I look forward to meeting you
493
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,552
in seven to ten years."
494
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,292
What's the gift?
495
00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:04,208
Dude!
496
00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:07,603
All right.
34587
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