All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S03E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

MAN: [ON TV]
Go away with the score.

Man, I love Sundays.

Carol and the Foster
go to church and we stay here

and watch football.

Yeah, and daddy cooks for us.

I love his Sunday breakfast.

Alright, everybody,
breakfast is ready.

Okay, we've got cupcakes
for J.T.

Ho Hos for Al and three Twinkies

and a Moon Pie
for my growing boy.

Thanks, daddy. You're a much
better cook than Carol.

Yeah, she never lets us
eat this good stuff.

[CAR DOOR SHUTS]

Oh, no, they're back early!

Breakfast is over!

Now, J.T., clean that up! Ah!

Oh, man!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC ON TV]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

And so, as we've seen
from this PBS special

the Renaissance
is really a good thing.

Oh, hi. You're back from church?

Yes, and once again, my prayers
have not been answered.

They're still here.

-I'm gonna go change.
-Yeah, me too.

I may slip into a sportier
bow tie myself.

Well, honey, you're home early.

Yeah, well,
we decided not to stop

and get something to eat.

Did you guys have breakfast?

Oh, yeah.
Big, healthy breakfast.

You know, most important
meal of the day.

So how was church?

Very enlightening.
The sermon was all about

how God punished this man
Ananias for lying.

Exactly how did he punish?

Struck him dead.

Alright, kids, why don't you get
your breakfast out of the couch?

We're having company for lunch.

-Oh, honey, who's coming?
-The new minister and his wife.

I invited them over
for a barbecue.

-Oh, man.
-Are you kidding?

-Come on.
-Oh, a minister here?

That's like having a spy
from God in the house.

Uh, honey, could I see you
in the kitchen for a minute?

See, he doesn't want a minister
in here either.

Yeah, uh,
I will handle this, guys.

Carol, I'm not
gonna be comfortable

with a minister in the house.

Well, why not?
What's the big deal?

Well, look, it doesn't have
to do anything with religion.

I mean, I believe in God.

It's just that
ministers are so boring.

That last guy was so dull

there were people actually
stretched out in the pews.

The place looked
like a bus station.

Well, this new minister
is different.

He's funny, he's smart.

He makes church interesting.

That's why I want you
to meet him.

I really think
you're gonna like him.

This is important to you,
isn't it?

Yeah, I think
it's a nice thing to do.

Okay, sure.
We should have them over.

Geez, now I gotta go
clean the garage

see if I can find my Bible.

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

♪ The dream wide broken
seemed like all was lost

♪ What would be the future?
Could you pay the cost?

♪ You wonder will there ever be a second time around?

♪ When the tears are over
And the moment has come

♪ Say "My lord,
I think I found someone"

♪ And no one would be better
To be putting it together

♪ For the second time around

♪ Step by step

♪ Day by day
♪ Day by day

♪ A fresh start over
A different hand to play

♪ The deeper we fall
the stronger we stay

♪ We'll be it better

♪ The second time around

♪ Step by step

♪ Day by day

♪ We'll make it better

♪ The second time around ♪

Come on in, guys,
make yourselves at home.

Yeah, can I offer you guys
some refreshments?

I'd kill for some
sparkling water.

-Make that two, Codeman.
-Yeah.

Can do, buds.

So, may I ask how you heard

about, uh, Cody's
Custom Cycle Service?

Uh, was it my yellow page ad

or the poster I put up
at Captain Winky Dog's?

No. No.

Neither. Our buddy Headcase
told us about you.

-Oh, word of mouth?
-Yeah.

[CHUCKLES] Loving that.

Okay, you dudes chill out here.

I'm gonna go upstairs
and get my parts catalog.

I think
it's in my cousin's room.

You know, he likes
to check out the biker babes

and, uh, their accessories.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

-Nice place.
-Yeah.

Usually I prefer
that French country

but, uh,
this American traditional look

has a certain rustic charm.

Hmm.

You, uh, you think this border
is hand stenciled or applique?

Huh.

-Aah!
-Ooh.

Let me get these for ya.

I love what you've done
with this kitchen.

Yeah. Very nice.

Thank you.

-Who are you?
-Oh, I'm Slasher.

I'm Death.

Okay.

-We're friends of Cody?
-Yeah.

Oh, friends of Cody. Of course.

-Yeah.
-Hey, here we go, buds.

Ah, I see you met Carol, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

Is she your beloved?

-No, I'm his uncle's beloved.
-Oh.

Well, come on, Slasher.

Let's go see
what we need for our bikes.

Oh. Oh!

Carol, now don't you go anywhere
because you've got to give me

the name of your decorator.

[CHUCKLES]

Cody, you're not volunteering

in that Adopt A Convict
Program again, are you?

Oh, no way, what?

You know, with demolition
being kind of slow and all

I thought
I'd open a side business.

You know, like fixing
and customizing motorcycles?

Well, you know, I hate
to generalize about people

who look like psychotic killers,

but do you think these guys
can afford to pay you?

Wow, good point.

Guess I shouldn't go
trusting every pretty face

that comes waltzin'
through the door, huh?

Hey, uh, Codeman,
I got one question.

You take Gold MasterCard?

Oh, Slasher.

Master of the possibility.

[LAUGHING]

All right. Cheese.

Spice.

Buns?

Okay.

All right, guys, I'm gonna
lay down some ground rules now.

Number one, lose the attitudes.

Number two, while
the good reverend is here,

there will be
no spitting, no swearing

and most important of all,

no picking things
from parts of your body.

I'm really looking forward
to talking with the reverend.

Me too. I love a spirited
theological debate.

Who cares about that?
I just wanna suck up to him

so he'll write me
a good college recommendation.

Everybody, I want
to introduce the Fielders.

I think you know
my kids from church

and this is my husband, Frank.

-Hey.
-How do you do?

Got my Bible right here.

I always like to read it
when I barbecue.

Been in the family for years.

"Property
of Sea And Sand Motel."

Uh, my parents, uh, picked it up
on their honeymoon

and then handed it down to me,
you know, firstborn son and all.

Oh, that's quiet a tradition.

Passing down a hot Bible.

Uh, these are my children.

This is Al,
uh, J.T. and Brendan.

-Ah.
-Hi.

-And this is our son, Michael.
-Hi.

And this is
Frank's nephew, Cody.

Wow, look at that Knucklehead.

Oh, I see
you've already met Cody.

No, no, no,
I mean the motorcycle.

Uh, Knuckleheads were bikes,
they're made in the '40s.

Well, I rode one of these
all through seminary.

Yeah? Wow, a holy man
and a H.O.G. head.

Awesome combo. [CHUCKLES]

Listen, I saw your poster
at Captain Winky Dog's.

Uh, I've got an XR1000
that could use a tune-up.

Wow. Yeah, hey, bring it on by.

You know, I give a 10% discount
to the clergy.

Oh?

Oh, uh, pastor.

I just wanted to say how much
I enjoyed today's sermon.

It was the most inspiring
oratory I've heard

since Martin Luther King's
"I Have A Dream" speech.

Let me guess. You need
a college recommendation?

Would you mind?

Well, we don't know
each other very well yet

but already, I can tell
you're a shameless suck-up.

Would you like me to write that

or should we get to know
each other better?

Why don't we get to know
each other?

Uh, could I buy you lunch
later this week?

Uh, maybe detail your car?

Dana, could you help me
in the kitchen?

-I'm busy.
-Dana, help me in the kitchen.

Save me a place at the table
next to the good reverend.

-Dana?
-Do you like cigars?

Dana, in the kitchen.

-Excuse me, reverend?
-Hmm?

I was leafing through
the collected works

of Martin Buber
and I was wondering

if you'd care to comment
on his interpretation

of "Leviticus?"

Mark, uh,
I'm kind of off the clock

so why don't you bag the Buber
and get me a root beer?

You got it, padre.

Here, well.

[SIGHS]

Help yourself to some chips.

Oh, should, should I say grace
before I eat this?

Look, uh, I know people
can get a little uptight

around a minister,
but I'm just a regular guy.

We can talk about regular stuff
like news or sports.

Well, hey, I like sports.
You like the Packers?

Oh, is the pope Catholic?

Told you
there was gonna be a quiz.

Uh, maybe you and I
could go to a game sometime.

-Well, usually I have to work.
-Oh.

Uh, yeah, Sunday's
probably your big day, huh?

As you can see, Frank has
somewhat strayed from the flock.

Well, now, I wouldn't say that.

I'm sure there are people
who go to church

a lot less than I do.

Like who, Frank? Atheists?

Well, alright, maybe I don't
take my kids to church

often enough, but I've been
meaning to change that.

Frank, it's okay. I didn't
come here to drum up business.

Yeah, no. No, I mean it,
as a matter of fact

I was planning on
going next Sunday.

-Dad, no.
-Now, J.T., now, son.

This is important
and next Sunday

the Lamberts
are going to church.

-Dad?
-What?

The Packers are on TV next week.

Yeah, it's the biggest game
of the year.

Uh, reverend

you're there
every Sunday, right?

Carol, why do I
have to wear a suit?

Frank, I think
you look very handsome.

Yeah, but why can't I just wear
what I normally do

when we go out fancy?

Oh, Frank,
dressing up for church

means more than putting on
your good belt buckle.

Man, this bites.

Well, look at you.
You look so cute.

Wow, they're wearing neckties.

And shoes.

I can't believe
you made us dress like this

and nobody died.

Well, I think
you all look very nice.

Okay, Fosters, you ride with me

and, Lamberts, I will see you
at the church.

You'll know it, it's the big
building with the pointy roof

across the street
from the House Of Donuts.

Dana?

I've gotta lose this hairstyle.

Okay, I know we would all

rather be watching
the Packer game

but I made a promise
to a minister

so let's make the best
of it, okay?

It's okay, dad.

We're not crazy
about dressing up

but we don't mind
going to church.

You don't?

Nah, it's only one Sunday.

Yeah, we love going to church
more than anything.

Yeah, whoa, get back here.

Alright, give me the radios.

Bonehead.

[BELL TROLLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thanks.

-Frank, where are the kids?
-Oh, honey.

They ran across the street
to the House Of Donuts.

Wouldn't want them
to miss Sunday breakfast.

Well, come on, let's sit down.

You sit over here
and we'll sit over here.

Oh, okay.

Oh, thanks.

Whoa. Hey, oh.

Wow, it's a beautiful place.

You know, the color
in that stained glass

kind of reminds me
of this quaint little chapel

in Bordeaux.

Oh, hey, Uncle Frank.
Yeah. How you guys doing?

You remember Slasher and Death?

I don't believe
we've actually met

but thank goodness
for those handy name tags.

How you doing?

-Hi.
-Hey.

Yeah, well, I told my bros
that the reverend was this

uh, awesome chopper freak,
so they thought they'd come down

and check out the church
with me.

Yeah, you know, if we like it,
we're gonna tell

all our brothers and who knows?

Next week it could look
like a Grateful Dead concert.

[LAUGHING]

Bikers for the big guy.

-Gotta love that.
-Yeah.

Oh, hey, guys,
sit down over there.

Oh. Uh, these seats taken?

Well, thank you.

Hey!

[ORGAN MUSIC]

-Hey, Michael.
-Hey, J.T.

I've been meaning
to talk to you.

How would you like to watch
the Packers game?

Oh, man, that'd be great.

But how are we gonna do that
if we're stuck here?

Easy. I've got a TV
stashed up in the attic.

Once the sermon starts,
we'll sneak up there, okay?

Cool.

Oh, hey, kids, listen up.

We're sitting right up front
where the minister can see us.

Now pretend
you wanna be here, okay?

[COUGHS]

-Alright! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
-You're the man!

Yeah!

Thank you, that was very kind.

I'd like to start
by welcoming you all.

Especially the new faces.

We have the Lambert family here.

They were the ones who gave me
that rousing welcome.

And over here, we have
Cody Lambert's friends

Slasher and Death.

"Onward, Christian Soldiers."

I'd like to begin by reading
a passage from the Beatitudes.

"Blessed are the merciful
for they will be shown mercy.

'"Blessed are the pure in heart
for they will see God.

What is it?

-"Blessed are the...
-Donuts, water.

REVERAND: "for they will
be called sons of God."

Make it quick.

[Rev. Fielder]
"Blessed are the meek

"for they will inherit
the Earth.

[MALE ANNOUNCER ON TV]
...into the field
for the entire first half.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

Hey, Michael, man,
this is awesome.

Whoa, watch it.

Make sure to walk on the beams.
That other wood is really old.

Thanks.

[MALE ANNOUNCER ON TV] ...in its own end of the field

for the entire first half.

Now let's see
if they can capitalize

on this field position.

Green Bay has the ball
on the 40 yard line.

Man, this is what I call
going to church.

We will now sing hymn 165
in your hymnal.

[ORGAN MUSIC]

♪ Amazing grace

♪ How sweet the sound

♪ That saved a soul

♪ Like me

♪ I once was lost... ♪

Man, I wish we were up
in the attic

watching the game with J.T.

Yeah, me too.

Just do what I do.

[BOTH COUGHING]

Come on. Alright.

Now, what is going on here?

[COUGHS] Donut.

Yeah, right. Where's J.T.?

We don't know.

I can make you come here
every Sunday.

He's up in the attic
watching the game on TV.

Oh, gee.

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪

Yeah.

Go, go!

Oh!

Man, this is so cool.

I'd say, next week,
we find a couple of babes

and bring them up here
for a little slobber hockey.

[LAUGHS] Definitely.

J.T., you are in big trouble!

Dad, dad, I can explain.

Yeah, well, can you do it
without using the word "aliens"?

No.

J.T., I asked you
for one little favor.

Come and do this
church thingy with me

and you can't sit still
long enough to--

Oh, are the Packers
on the 10 yard line?

-Yeah.
-Well, what's the score?

Nothing-nothing.

Oh, dear God, let the Packers
score a touchdown.

Ah, yeah.

-Yes!
-Go!

-Yeah!
-Yeah! Go! Go!

[CHEERING]

J.T., give me some-- aah!

[CRASH]

Oh, no way.

It's a messenger from God.

And it looks
just like Uncle Frank.

What's the score?

Uh, six-nothing. Packers.

Oh, Carol, I feel
like a complete jerk.

Oh, don't be so hard
on yourself.

You're just trying to be
a decent responsible parent.

Yeah.

You just weren't
very good at it.

[LAUGHS]

[GROANS]

-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-[FRANK GROANS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it!

Oh! Ah, no, I won't.

Yeah, come in! It's open.

Hey, Frank. How you feeling?

Oh, I'm okay, reverend.

Uh, look, I didn't get
a chance to apologize

before the paramedics came.

I'm-- I'm really sorry.

And first thing tomorrow morning

my crew will be down there
to patch that hole.

And from now on, I'm coming
to church every Sunday.

-Look, Frank--
-No. No, I mean it.

[CHUCKLES]
It's the least I could do.

Frank, I would love
to have you come to church

but don't do it out of guilt.
Do it because you want to.

Well, uh, Carol was right.
You do make church more fun.

At least the part I saw.

[LAUGHS]

And I'd like to come
more Sundays

but there's just
one big problem.

-Football?
-I love football.

Frank, why don't you do
what I do?

-Tape the game.
-Yeah, well, yeah, I know.

I could do that,
but it's not the same.

Gee, I think it's better.

You can fast forward
through the timeouts.

You don't have to watch up
with people at halftime.

I think you're gonna enjoy
watching football this way.

It's cued up till when you came
through my ceiling.

Guess we could give it
a shot, huh?

Oh, yeah.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]

Well, how about this?

Me and the good reverend

watching a football game
together.

-Can I get you a beer?
-No, thanks.

No. No, of course not.

You don't drink beer.

Neither do I.

Devil's brew
never touches my lips.

-No way.
-Frank?

-Huh?
-Shut up and watch the game.

Does go good
with peanuts though.

This morning
three of our newest friends

have put together
a special song.

This one is not in your hymnal.

Take it away, gentlemen.

Okay, this is
a straight-out rock groove

in the key of E.

To the tune of "Louie Louie."

-You got it?
-Got it.

[Cody] Alright.

[ROCK MUSIC]

♪ Pharaoh, pharaoh!

♪ Whoa whoa

-♪ Let my people go
-♪ Uhh

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

♪ Pharaoh, pharaoh!

♪ Whoa whoa

-♪ Let my people go
-♪ Uhh

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah

CODY: Everybody!

♪ Whoa whoa

-♪ Let my people go ♪
-♪ Uhh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪