All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S01E21.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[instrumental music]

Hi, mom. How's it going?

Oh, not so good, Dana.
I'm really worried about Frank.

You know,
Saturday is his 40th birthday.

What are you worried about?

They don't make
those funny little

party hats in his size?

Dana, I'm serious.

I'm just afraid that turning 40

could send Frank
into a midlife crisis.

That's why
I'm reading this book.

"Your Man At 40. When His
Inner Child Needs Changing."

Mom, you promised to lay off
the pop psychology.

I know, I know, but just listen.

It says here that
when a man turns 40

he's beset by self-doubt

in the realization
of his own mortality.

Mom, this is Frank
we're talking about.

I think he'll be more upset
about the party hats.

Dana, I'm concerned.

According to this book,
men often attempt

to recapture their youth

by acting out
their adolescent fantasies

like having an affair
with a younger woman

or buying a flashy sports car.

Mom, I think
you're overreacting.

It just doesn't sound
like Frank.

Oh, hi, honey.
I just came from the auto show.

Check out that Ferrari. Whoo!

You're buying a new sports car,
aren't you?

Now, don't be silly, honey.
I can't afford a sports car.

You can't afford
to have an affair either.

Is that a psychology book
you're reading?

Well, Frank, get ready
for another session

of "Ask Dr. Carol."

[Frank sighs]

Look, Frank, I know
you frown on psychology--

Yeah, honey,
I don't frown on psychology.

I just think it's a lot of crap.

But you're turning 40.
That can be very traumatic.

Carol, I'm fine with turnin' 40.

Life is great.
I'm a lucky guy.

Oh, don't you see
what you're doing?

You're in denial.

No, I'm not.

Oh, it's worse than I thought.

You're in denial
about your denial.

[sighs]

You're right, Carol.
I, I can't face turning 40.

The very thought of it
has me emotionally paralyzed.

What's for dinner?

Frank, Frank, you know,
when a man turns 40

he often looks back over
his life and feels frustrated

about the things that he hasn't
accomplished in his life.

Now, looking back, what things
haven't you accomplished?

There is one thing,
uh, but it's too late now.

No, no, no,
it's never too late.

What dreams
haven't you fulfilled?

Well, honey, I, I always

wanted to meet
The Three Stooges.

Uh, not Curly Joe.
The original three.

Larry, Moe and Curly,
and Shemp would have been okay

but they're all dead now.

Did you know that
Curly and Moe were brothers--

Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank!

I'm talking about
some kind of challenge

like skydiving
or mountain climbing.

I mean, certainly, there must be
some exciting thing

you regret not doing?

Um, oh, when I was 18

I-I wanted to get
a pilot's license

but that phase passed.

No, no, no, the experts say
you gotta get

these things out of your system.

So.. Oh, this is great!

[laughs]
For your birthday

I am going to get you
flying lessons.

If it makes you happy.

[chuckles]

I just wanted a party
with some funny hats though.

[theme song]

[screaming]

♪ The dream wide broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost
you wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be
a second time around ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say my Lord
I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're putting it
together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ We got the woman and man ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ We got the kids in a clan ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Only time will tell ♪

♪ If all these dreams
fit under one umbrella ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over
a different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall
the stronger we stay ♪

♪ And we'll be better
the second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over
a different hand to play ♪

♪ Only time will tell
but you know what they say ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Hey, Dana.

Uncle Frank gone?

Yeah. Why?

Okay, J.T.,
we can go to the bathroom now.

I hate to ask this,
but since when

is that a two-man job?

For your information, Dana

we got my dad a new showerhead
for his birthday.

You know, the one with
the water massage he wanted?

Yeah. And we're gonna install it
in the bathroom.

Pretty far out, huh?

[chuckles]

No, no, no. No, no.

No way am I letting you goons
mess around in the bathroom.

Hey, Dana, don't call us goons.
Show a little respect.

Okay, no way
am I letting you cretins

mess around in the bathroom.

Yeah, there now.
Was that so hard?

Look, the showerhead
should be installed by somebody

more qualified, like a plumber,
or a handyman, or a baboon.

A baboon? Good idea.

We'll call you
if we need your help.

- Oh!
- Oh!

[laughs]

Oh, hey.
What are you guys doin'?

Hey, Brendan, we're puttin' in
dad's new showerhead.

- You two?
- Yeah.

You wanna help,
little cuz, dude?

No way! I don't wanna
get blamed for this.

Alright, Codeman,
let's get busy.

Now, where are the instructions?

Oh, in the garbage.

The first thing I do
when I start a job like this

is throw out the instructions.

They just mess up my head,
you know?

But I thought instructions
were supposed to help.

That's what
they want you to think.

Boy, Cody, when it comes to IQ

you're number one.

I know.

[clears throat]
Okay, now first thing
we gotta do

is unscrew the old showerhead.

- Allow me.
- Oh.

Alright. Here.

Ah.

[grunting]

No offense, cuz, but, uh,
you might not pack the pecks

to get the job done.

Why don't you let Codeman
the Barbarian take over?

- Go ahead.
- Okay. Here you are.

[clears throat]

[grunting]

[chuckles]
That's pretty tight.

I think this calls
for the art of chi energy.

Chi energy?
Never heard of it.

That's because
it's an ancient art

passed down
throughout the centuries

from master to master.

Cool.
How'd you find out about it?

Oh, I read about it on the back
of a "Ninja Turtle" comic book.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

Yeah.

[grunts]

Dude, I think I used
a little bit too much chi, huh?

Whoa!
Hey, that's Dana's room.

Hey, Dana.

[Dana screaming]

[Frank]
'Oh, man, this is great.'

[Frank laughs]

'Carol, watch me hang a left.'

[Carol screaming]

[male #1]
'No, Frank, Frank, Frank.
H-h-hold steady.'

- Okay.
- That's it.

Just, uh, keep your wings
level with the horizon.

[chuckles]
Oh, honey, I'm so glad

you talked me
into taking this lesson.

Aren't you glad I talked you
into comin' along?

Oh, I don't know.

I kind of like
flying in big planes

where they have pillows
and movies

and bags you can throw up in.

- Uh, coffee?
- Uh, no, no. Thanks, no.

You really think you ought to be
drinking that stuff, Mel?

You know,
you seem kind of jittery.

Well, well, to tell the truth

I didn't get any sleep
last night

'and my wife and I
were up talking.'

We've sort of been
having problems.

So, you're exhausted
and you're in emotional turmoil?

I kind of wish
you'd mentioned that

when we were on the ground, Mel.

Oh, hey, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Besides, caffeine's good
for my migraine.

Sometimes, it gets so bad,
I can hardly see.

Oh, look,
it's the Pillsbury dough girls.

And what are we baking today?

It so happens we're making
your dad a birthday cake.

No, you're not.
I'm making my dad's cake.

I've been doing it
since I was a kid.

Well, our mom told us to make
the cake, so buzz off.

Coconut? My dad hates coconut.

Well, when my mom made
your dad a coconut cake

he told her he liked it.

He also told her he liked you.

I'm putting some chocolate chips
in this thing.

Al?

Hi, girls, how are we doin'
on the birthday cake?

We were doing fine until
the bad seed showed up.

How would you like a spatula
up your nose?

What do you think?

We wanna make Frank
a coconut cake

and Al says
it's got to be chocolate.

- Well..
- Well, girls, girls.

Coconut, chocolate,
it doesn't matter.

This cake needs
only one ingredient.

Love.

Oh, mom.

What a beautiful thing to say.

Don't be sappy. I only said it

because I didn't wanna get in
the middle of their dumb fight.

I think we should get
in the middle of this.

That's what's wrong
with America today.

Not enough people get involved.

Why don't you find
some place else to live?

Hey, I'm making this cake.
He's my dad.

Oh, yeah, like that's something
to be proud of.

- Oh, right.
- Come on, girls.

Now let's work
our differences out.

'Girls, let's try
to bake it for once.'

[grunts]

The next time I wanna
get involved, slap me.

I'll look forward to that.

[instrumental music]

[airplane whirring]

[Frank]
'Bogeys at 8 o'clock.
I'm going in.'

Just let me fly for a while.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Mel, you know,
you-you seem kind of jumpy.

Are you sure you're okay?

Well, I-I-I've been
under a little stress lately

but at least my wife and I
finally worked out our problems.

And we decided that
we care too much for each other

to break up,
and we're gonna stick it out.

Attaboy, Mel.

Well, Greta's
a-a real sweet girl.

She even made me lunch today.

Oh, look at this. Oh.

She put a little love note

in with my sandwiches.

Oh.

[screaming]

Hey, not to invade
your privacy, Mel

but how about I read the note

and you look out
for mountains, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay.

"Dear Mel, this morning
after we made our decision

"to stay together,
I was gripped by a sense of..

"...panic.

"Panic that I will suffocate

"if I remain
in our loveless union.

Mel, I cannot go on
living a lie."

Blah, blah, blah.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.

"Love, Greta."

- Let me see that.
- No.

- I gotta know the truth.
- No, you don't gotta.

- Yes, I do. Read. Read!
- Alright, alright.

Alright, alright.

"I have been having an affair

with Fred Schmidt."

[screams]

- No, no, no, no!
- Not Fred Schmidt.

- Who's Fred Schmidt?
- My boss.

The guy who owns this plane.
Keep going.

- Read. Read.
- No. No.

- Read!
- Alright. Okay.

"Fred and I are deeply in love.

'I'm going to Reno
to divorce you.'"

Maybe I could change her mind.

"You cannot change my mind.

"In fact, the mere thought
of your lips touching mine

"makes my skin crawl.

Well, gotta run.
Good luck. Greta."

Mel, have you seen
those new Cessnas?

I hear those babies really hum.

- Mel?
- Mel?

[Carol]
'Mel, say something.'

I don't wanna live!

[screaming]

[intense music]

[Carol screaming]

Mel, stop it, you don't know
what you're doing.

Yes, I do. I'm gonna die!

Carol, do something. Help me!

- Oh.
- Oh.

Oh.

Mel?

[gasps]

Carol, why did you do that?

Well, he was insane.

He's also the only one
who knows how to fly the plane.

Well, didn't you learn anything?

Yes. When I turn 50,
I'm gonna ask for a shirt.

Well, I'm sorry. I guess
giving you flying lessons

was a bad idea,
but I was only trying

to help you fulfill
a lifelong dream.

Well, at this rate, I will.

I'm finally gonna meet
The Three Stooges.

Well, what are we gonna do?

I don't know.
I can keep the plane level.

I just don't know
how to land it!

[sobbing]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Uh, hello, hello,
anybody out there?

Who are you calling?

Domino's Pizza.

Let's see him get it up here
in a half hour.

Hello, hello!

[Jim on radio]
'Yeah, this is Jim
at Fremont Tower.'

- 'Please identify yourself.'
- Uh, this is Frank Lambert.

Uh, we have
an emergency up here.

The instructor giving me
my flying lessons

decided to crash the plane,
so my wife and I took over.

[Jim]
'Uh-oh.'

'Mel finally found out
about his wife'

'and, uh, what's his name?'

Uh, uh, Fred.

[Jim]
'Fred, too?'

'Now, look, don't worry,
we'll get you down'

'from there safe and sound.'

'Uh, now I need
an altimeter reading.'

Oh, al-altimeter, altimeter.
Uh, uh..

Yeah, could you give me
one more clue there?

[Jim]
'It's the second gauge
from the right.'

'Don't you remember anything
from your lesson?'

Well, excuse me.
I didn't know there'd be a test.

Yo, Bill and Ted.

How goes your excellent
bathroom adventure?

All done.

Sorry to disappoint you,
Morticia..

...but we did a real good job of
putting in dad's new showerhead.

Well, everything looks normal.

Cody, is it possible
you did something right?

[chuckles]
Well, let's check it out.
You can see for yourself, huh?

[laughs]

[screams]

[laughs]

Well, looks like
I gotta screw this.

Yeah, and what's wrong
with the shower?

Cody, you are a menace
to society.

I love it when she calls me
those pet names.

Boy, is dad gonna be surprised
when he turns on his new shower.

[chuckles]
Yeah.

[Jim on radio]
'Okay, we're ready to bring you
in for landing, Frank.'

'There's nothing
to worry about.'

- 'Got that ambulance ready?'
- What?

Uh, uh, uh, Jim, we can hear
everything you say up here.

[Jim on radio]
'Well, that's good, because
the key to saving your lives'

'is radio contact.'

'Now, what I'm about to say
is absolutely crucial.'

'You..'

[radio disconnects]

Hello?

Hello!

Well, Frank, this is it.

It's been a great few months.

I know.

I'm glad we met.

I love you, Frank.

I love you, Carol.

I love you, Greta.

- Mel?
- Mel? Mel?

Mel's up. Mel, wake up.

Oh.

Oh. This migraine is the worst.

It's like somebody hit me
in the back of the head.

Uh, Mel, Mel, the radio's out.
How do we get it back on?

Oh, uh.. Oh, you can't.
No, it's on the fritz.

Uh, Fred was supposed to fix it,
but I guess

he's been a little
too busy lately.

Mel, you gotta land this plane.

Why should I?
I have nothing to live for.

Oh, come on, Mel.
I know how you feel.

I got a letter just like you,
only a lot colder.

Well, not from me!

No, no. No, not from her,
from my first wife.

My first wife left me,
left the kids

ran off to Vegas
to become a lounge singer.

Don't tell me
you weren't crushed!

Well, of course,
I was at first.

But then after a couple
of years, I met Carol

and, Mel, she changed my life.

Now I have a wonderful wife,
a fantastic new family

and I'm incredibly happy.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

And, Mel,
what happened to Frank

could happen to you.

We all get second chances
in life, Mel.

And believe me, there's somebody
out there who's right for you.

- Yeah.
- Righter than Greta ever was.

- And you'll find her.
- Uh-huh.

Oh, boy, you're great.

You wouldn't happen
to have a sister, would ya?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Does she look anything like you?

Yeah, well, as a matter of fact,
they could be twins.

Hang on, we're gonna land
this baby.

We don't need no stinking radio.

[laughing]

[engine sputtering]

- But we do need gas.
- Ah.

- Oh.
- Oh!

[screaming]

- Oh, Ivy, hi.
- Oh.

Hi, Brendan.

- Hey.
- Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

- Oh, really.
- Oh, honey.

Codeman!

There you go. Whoa!

Oh!

Mom, was this
a champagne flight?

Oh, we're just so happy
to be home.

We thought
we'd never see you again.

The pilot was unconscious.
We ran out of gas.

- We thought we were gonna die.
- But you didn't. You're alive.

[laughs]

Come on, daddy,
let's have some birthday cake.

Yeah, I wanna make a wish.
Good, let's go.

- It's in the kitchen.
- Oh, yeah.

[all clamoring]

- Oh, here you go, honey.
- Oh, look, honey, look.

Okay, come on, come on.

- Oh, what a beauty.
- Okay, now, listen up.

I-I have got something to say.

Today, Carol and I saved
a man's life and our own lives

by telling him
how happy our family is.

Hey, we understand.

Your lives were at stake,
so you lied.

I would've done the same thing.

[all clamoring]

No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait a minute!

No, wait. Listen.

I learned something
very important today.

When you're facing death,
you realize

that every moment you spend
with your family is precious.

Yeah, I learned something, too.

If your husband isn't having
a midlife crisis

don't try to give him one.

[chuckling]

[Karen]
'There you go, Frank.'

- Make a wish, honey.
- Oh.

I wish
I could spend every birthday

for the rest of my life
with the people in this room.

- Aww!
- That's nice.

Okay, Frank,
now blow out the candles.

Well, now before I blow them out

I-I, I wanna tell you all

how much you mean to me.

You know, when I was a kid,
I always dreamed

of having a big family

but no matter how much
I looked forward to it

I never realized how wonderful
it could actually be.

- Yeah.
- You're all so special to me.

[all screaming]

[all gasping]

Hey, somebody got me
that showerhead I wanted.

You guys are great!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]