Original subtitles

[theme music]

[chuckling]

This "Garfield" cracks me up.

You're reading the funnies?

Yeah, look.

You see.

Garfield hates to get up in the morning, so..

...he gets in his little bed with his toys..

[laughing]

...and he pulls the covers over.

[laughing]

Do you have the, uh, financial section?

Dad, dad! Great news!

- Cody will be here tomorrow. - Alright.

- What's a Cody? - Uh, he's my nephew.

He can help me tear down the Turner place.

You give that boy a hammer, he can destroy anything.

Ooh, what a gift.

And, and guess what? He's staying the whole weekend.

Oh, that's great. Ha-ha!

J.T.'s cousin?

In our house?

Has he had all his shots?

He's not staying in our house.

He's too cool.

He lives in his van.

- Hand me the comics. - Yeah.

Wait 'til you see Garfield.

Look...toys.

[both laughing]

[theme song]

[all screaming]

? The dream wide broken ?

? Seemed like all was lost ?

? What would be the future? ?

? Could you pay the cost? ?

? You wonder ?

? Will there ever be ?

? A second time around? ?

? Woah-oh woah-oh ?

? When the tears are over ?

? And the moment has come ?

? Say My Lord I think I found someone ?

? You know it will be better ?

? 'Cause you're puttin' it together ?

? For the second time around ?

? Ooh ?

? We got the woman and man ?

? Oooh-oooh-oooh ?

? We got the kids in a clan ?

? Oooh-oooh-oooh ?

? Only time will tell ?

? If all these dreams fit under one umbrella ?

? Step by step ?

? Day by day ?

? A fresh start over ?

? A different hand to play ?

? The deeper we fall ?

? The stronger we stay ?

? It will be better ?

? The second time around ?

? Step by step ?

? Day by day ?? Day by day ?

? A fresh start over ?

? A different hand to play ?

? Only time will tell ?

? But you know what they say ?

? We'll make it better ?

? The second time around ??

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

? Me mind on fire ?

? Me soul on fire ?

? Feelin' hot hot hot ?

? I talk to people all around me ?

? Feeling hot hot hot ?

? A-what to do on a night like this? ?

? Ah is it sweet? ?

? I can't resist ?

? We need a party song ??

[scatting]

Uh, we're, we're having tacos for dinner.

Right.

Okay, Mr. Baseball.

Double or nothin'.

"Who hit the home run to win the 1960 World Series?"

Bill Mazeroski, game seven.

Final score ten to nine, Pirates.

He's amazing.

Is he right?

I'm tellin' ya, there's nothin' I don't know about baseball.

In 1913, what pitcher--

Zip Zabel. Goodbye.

What do you expect? He's got no life.

Oh, honey, I got great news.

My nephew Cody's coming this weekend.

Oh, yeah, well, that makes two great things

that are happening this weekend.

Do you know what the other one is?

Oh, you bet.

A big grout sale at the Tile King. Heh.

Frank.

This Saturday is our one month

wedding anniversary.

- Remember Jamaica? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I knew that. - You did not.

Hey, what do you do for a one month anniversary?

I mean, do we give each other gifts or what?

No, no, no, no, that's really not necessary.

I mean, we're each other's best present.

Yeah, that's right.

[moaning]

Can I unwrap mine now?

[instrumental music]

Carol! What is the matter with you?

I'm right in the middle of trying to make

Helen Puckett a blonde!

She's waited 75 years to become a blonde

she can wait five more minutes.

I just wanna show you what I got Frank for our anniversary.

[Penny gasps]

[Penny] It's gorgeous.

I thought you two weren't going to exchange gifts.

Oh, we just said that.

Everybody gives anniversary gifts.

Oh, I wonder what he got for me.

- 'Carol!' - Oh, oh, here he is.

- Oh, hide the box. - Hide the box. Hide it.

- Hide it. Hide.. - Here. Oh! Take it over there.

Ooh.

Take this..

- Honey? - Hi, Frank.

Oh.

Penny.

Carol, I have to run downtown for a minute.

Oh, really?

What for?

[both chuckling]

To, uh, pick up a new power saw.

A power saw.

[both giggling]

- Yeah. - Well..

Just make sure you get a nice one.

You know what they say, "A power saw is forever."

[laughing]

- Bye. - Bye.

[door shuts]

Power saw.

[both chuckling]

He's so obvious.

- Let's hide that package. - Ooh.

That was such a close call.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, hello.

Fruit. Ha-ha-ha!

Blows me away.

Uh, who are you?

I'm Cody. I'm Frank's nephew.

I live in the van in the driveway.

Oh, right. I-I-I'm Carol, Frank's wife.

She lives in the house by the driveway.

Oh, this is my sister, Penny.

Sisters! Whoa!

Foxes must run in the family.

[chuckles] Thank you.

Frank told me to make myself at home

so I wanted to run a little power out to my van.

Is there an outlet I could use around..

Whoa! Cool! There's one.

[electricity buzzes]

Whoa.

Eh!

Your circuits must be fried.

[laughs]

Fried? Oh, my gosh!

I left Helen Puckett under the dryer.

Her head must be a raisin by now.

Well, it was nice to meet you, Cody.

Ditto. Tsk.

[laughs]

Tsk!

[mimics laugh]

- Cody! - J.T.!

- My man. My pal. My cuz. - My man. My pal. My cuz.

What's up, brother? How you doin'?

Codeman, aw, you are so cool.

You are the coolest guy on the planet.

[laughs] I know.

So how's the babe quotient on the road?

Pretty intense. Tcha.

There are chicks so luminous, it'd make your ears bleed.

Aw, man! You really know how to paint a picture.

There ain't a chick yet that's been able to resist

my personal magnetism.

Hey, wait a minute.

I know a girl who would never go out with you.

My step-sister.

[scoffs] Is she breathin'? Ha-ha.

I got 20 bucks says she won't go out with you.

- Pfft! You're on. - Alright, man.

[J.T.] 'Better hope you have the cash.'

I got Lucille, the Chick Mobile, brother.

Excuse me.

Is this the cousin who lives in his car?

- Van. - Hi, Van.

- Yeah. - His name is Cody.

Cody, this is my step-sister, Karen.

Hey.

You're a model, right?

No, I just look like one.

[chuckles]

Not her.

Oh, J.T., you accidentally left your jacket

in the hallway, so I burned it.

Her.

Her?

Good.

I like 'em when they're rude.

[instrumental music]

Glass. Ha-ha. You can see through it.

I mean, how..

How do they do that?

Okay, here comes Frosty the step-sister.

Okay, watch this and marvel.

Hello, sweet face.

Goodbye, dog brains.

Hey, did you ever model?

[scoffs] Be still, my lunch.

Ha-ha! Hey, yo, Dana.

Uh, what do you think

you wanna do somethin' tonight?

Yeah, I'd like to do something

but it's a felony.

No, I mean, go out.

You know, like, on a date.

Out?

On a date?

With you?

[both laughing]

So what night would be good for you?

Cody, she really shot you down.

- You owe me 20 bucks. - No, no.

I got her right where I want her.

Hey, and remember, she who laughs in my face

ends up in my embrace, huh?

[laughs]

You are totally amazing.

[laughs] I know.

[instrumental music]

- Oh, hi, honey. - Hi.

Happy anniversary.

Surprise.

- What's this? - Open it.

Oh, Carol.

It's beautiful, honey. But you shouldn't have.

- Well.. - No, really.

You shouldn't have.

I didn't get you anything.

[scoffs] What about that?

[chuckles]

- My saw? - Oh, come on, Frank.

I know it's not a saw.

Carol, it's a saw.

It's not a saw.

It's a saw.

Of course, it's a saw.

Well, why'd you get me a saw?

I, I didn't get you a saw.

I got me a saw.

You didn't get me anything?

You told me you didn't want anything.

I did not say I did not want anything.

I said it wasn't necessary.

You're supposed to know the difference.

Oh! I'm supposed to read your mind?

Well, who do you think I am? Carnac?

Well, I wish.

Carnac would have gotten me a present.

Well, he's retiring next year.

- Maybe you can marry him. - Oh, brother.

Well, happy anniversary

Mr. Sensitivity.

Well, same to you, Mrs..

...Sippi.

Sippi?

[instrumental music]

[guitar music]

Yo, Dana, I wrote you a tune.

I don't wanna hear it.

Two, three, four..

? Dana Dana Dana Dana Dana.. ??

[chuckles] Well, that's all I got so far.

- Catchy. - Hey.

You know what your problem is, Dana?

You put me up on this pedestal.

You think I'm beyond your reach.

But you're wrong, I'm just like this regular

incredible guy.

Look, I know you want me.

So make your move.

Cody, let me lay it out for you.

If I had a choice between dating you

and putting out oil well fires with my tongue

I'd be on the next plane to Kuwait.

So you want a ride to the airport?

[indistinct chatter]

You mean he didn't give you anything

for your one month anniversary?

Doesn't he realize the importance

of occasions like this?

It'd be like mom forgetting my birthday.

When is your birthday?

May 11th.

No, I don't think so.

- Hi, Frank. - Hi, Penny.

- Hi. - Hi.

Oh, come on, Carol. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about the fight

the anniversary, about everything.

Uh, here.

'Friends?'

Well, that's sweet, Frank. Thanks.

- I said I was sorry. - And I accept your apology.

I mean, it's not your fault

that you're not as romanticas I am.

I just have to accept the fact

that you are who you are.

A practical, down to earth kind of guy.

[bell dings]

Excuse me. Customer.

Oh.

Penny. Penny, what do you think?

That rose didn't do it, did it?

Oh, good call, Frank.

You're in trouble up to your tool belt.

Well, what am I gonna do?

Well, I was in the same situation

once with Harvey Keller.

You've gotta do something special.

You've gotta do something that says

"You drive me crazy.

"You are the sexiest person in the world.

"I want you, I want you bad.

"I want you so bad, I can't stand it.

Please, don't leave me!"

But did Harvey care? No!

He ran off with that waitress from Kenosha!

- Just go and run off-- - Penny, Penny.

What about me?

I've got my own problems. Harvey's still in Kenosha.

And my own mother doesn't know my birthday!

[instrumental music]

I just can't believe what a scuzz that Cody is.

If we didn't keep the bathroom door closed

he'd drink out of the toilet.

I think Cody's sort of cute.

Well, you go out with him.

Maybe then, he'll stop hounding me.

Oh, he's just doin' it for the money.

[chuckles]

Money?

- What money? - You didn't know?

J.T. bet Cody $20

you wouldn't go on a date with him.

[chuckles]

My weasel step-brother is trying to make money

off of my personal life?

You make it sound like a bad thing.

[instrumental music]

[Al] Alright, alright.

Final question.

You know the last player to win the Triple Crown?

Carl Yastrzemski, 1967.

That's not the question.

Spell "Yastrzemski."

Y-A-S-T-R-Z-E-M-S-K-I.

I give up.

'You're the champ.'

I have a baseball question.

[laughs]

Ah, you amuse me.

Why do they call it an inning?

- An inning? - Yeah.

They play outside

so why don't they call it an outing?

Um..

'Uh..'

He doesn't know.

We got him, we got him!

No! Igot him.

[indistinct chatter]

- Ow. - I-I-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You okay?

- Just a little farther. - Uh, Frank.

- I am not in the mood for this. - Just be patient, okay?

I-I just wanna show you something.

Come on. It's right in here.

Right here.

Okay, now, just stand right here.

Okay?

[instrumental music]

Happy anniversary.

Oh, Frank!

Oh, it's just like Jamaica.

- Do you like it? - Oh, I love it.

It is just..

...so romantic.

Who did it?

- I did. - For me?

And watch. Oh, waiter?

[snaps fingers]

Oh, look at J.T.

He looks just like a little island boy.

Can I seat you two now, mon?

Yes.

[both chuckle]

Oh, thank you.

Oh, uh, island boy?

- Bring two Jamaican farewells. - Oh.

And something for the lady?

Real cute. Scram.

Oh, Frank. This is..

Ah, this is unbelievable.

- Does this mean you like it? - Oh, I love it.

Did you do this because you thought I was hurt?

Yeah, absolutely.

You think it's easy finding palm trees in Milwaukee?

But I told you it wasn't your fault.

But you also told me you didn't want a present.

Yeah, but that's because I wanted you to think of it

yourself without me having to tell you.

I mean, to me, that's romantic.

Hmm, to me, that's confusing.

Well..

...I'll try to be clearer from now on.

And from now on

I'll try to be more romantic.

Romantic.

Clearer.

[instrumental music]

Hey, look, it's Bomba, The Jungle Boy.

How would you like a coconut up your nose?

Not so fast, J.T.

I wanna tell you about the date I just had.

- Why would I care? - Because it was with him.

Hey, it's Bomba, The Jungle Boy.

[laughs]

You two went out on a date?

Yep, we went to a concert.

We saw the Brain-Dead Idiots.

And I sat next to one.

But it was worth it just to see youlose 20 bucks.

Go on, pay him the money, J.T.

I guess you earned it if you spent

more than ten minutes with Vampira.

J.T., man, I can't take your money, bro.

- What? - What?

I should be paying you.

I mean, tonight was cosmic.

I'm totally in love.

[Cody laughs]

Hey, wait a minute.

Dana, that lyric just came to me.

[mimics guitar]

? Dana Dana Dana Dana Dana ?

? You're drivin' me insane-a.. ??

Whoa, I gotta write that down.

Excuse me, I feel an embolism coming on.

Oh, Dana, wait, there's more. Listen.

? Dana Dana Dana Dana.. ??

[instrumental music]

Whoa! Lock the door!

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

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