All language subtitles for Mom s07e16_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,357 Hey, guys, check it out. 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,403 "Wendy Harris, Nurse Supervisor." 3 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,491 You got a promotion? 4 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,059 Your last name is Harris? 5 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,018 I'm so happy, I'm not even gonna let that bother me. 6 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,715 Aw, good for you.CHRISTY: Congratulations! 7 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,022 You work so hard, you deserve this. 8 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,590 Are you being sarcastic? 9 00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,244 Not at all. 10 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,029 In fact, I would like to propose a toast 11 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,160 to our dear friend... 12 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,206 Please don't ruin this for me. 13 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,077 I'm being sincere. 14 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,209 Are you? 15 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,384 Yes! 16 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,864 I'm genuinely proud of her. 17 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:41,041 Mom, stop. You're not fooling us. 18 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,783 Fine. It was exhausting, anyway. 19 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,873 Well, now this is officially a celebration. 20 00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,875 Order whatever you want. It's on us. 21 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,268 Thanks, I'm just gonna have soup. 22 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,140 Soup? I say go big or go home. 23 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,098 Get the sicken cheeser. 24 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,665 What's a sicken cheeser? 25 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,667 [groans] I meant the chicken Caesar. 26 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,669 Damn it, I keep flipping my words. 27 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,063 I know-- you did it twice during your share today. 28 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,543 You sounded cricken frazy. 29 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,110 I don't know what's going on. 30 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,025 Maybe it's 'cause I'm not sleeping. 31 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,898 Is that 'cause you and Andy are "takin' care of bidness"? 32 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,075 No, it's 'cause no matter how low I set the thermostat, 33 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,816 I still wake up like I just walked out of a sauna. 34 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:21,211 From "takin' care of bidness"? 35 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:25,259 Sweetie? Watch some porn or something. 36 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,088 I do. It doesn't help. 37 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,830 Have you seen your doctor? Maybe you're in perimenopause. 38 00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,181 Maybe youare, bitch. 39 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:39,099 Sorry. I've also been irritable. 40 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,188 You know, I usually have nothing but love for you in my heart, 41 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,233 but calling Wendy a "B" on her special "D" 42 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,235 is totally "NC." 43 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,064 Not Cool. 44 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,415 You're right. Let me make it up to you. 45 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,721 After the meeting this Friday, 46 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,679 I'll take us all to my club for lunch. 47 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:57,073 Thanks, Jill. That's so nice of you. 48 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,422 And for what's it's worth, 49 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,164 I still think going to your doctor is a good idea. 50 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:04,907 Well, keep it to yourself, you toothless old dragon. 51 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,824 I'm... I'm gonna call my doctor now. 52 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,130 Yeah. 53 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,132 ♪ 54 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,327 I've never been to a country club before. 55 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,329 I mean, once I ran naked across a golf course. 56 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:38,158 It's so much further than you think it's gonna be. 57 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:42,684 Hi. My name is Bonnie, and I look fabulous. 58 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,556 Hi. My name is Christy, and... 59 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,949 yeah... 60 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,342 [others laughing] 61 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:51,171 Hey, did you guys check out the menu for the club? 62 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,476 We looked it up online. 63 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,783 Lot of shellfish. 64 00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,132 You know that ribeye for two? 65 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,352 If I get it for myself, would you guys judge me? 66 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:03,008 Well, I hope you're happy. I just went to my doctor, 67 00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:05,010 and it turns out I amin peri-meni-pause. 68 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,534 Peri-meno-pause. 69 00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,623 Do not correct a woman in peri-meni-pause. 70 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,103 Oh, uh, look, honey, we all go through it. 71 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,105 It's natural. 72 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,585 Since when do I care about natural? 73 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,152 I have worked so hard to stay sober 74 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,850 so that I can be in control of what I say and what I do 75 00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,896 and what I throw across the room. 76 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:23,028 And now, just when I'm feeling like I got it all together, 77 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:26,902 my hormones are like, "Screw you! I'm your higher power now!" 78 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,512 I'm not sure if I went through perimenopause. 79 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:29,992 I was in prison at the time. 80 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,124 Everyone was hot, cranky and throwin' stuff. 81 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,953 And by "stuff," I mean people. 82 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,521 The doctor said this could last a decade. 83 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,480 A decade! 84 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,569 We're moving. 85 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,224 Well, it's usually much shorter than that. 86 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:47,488 I had a few mild symptoms and then boom, over. 87 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:50,708 And I've really felt like I was in my power ever since. 88 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,319 Plus, no more condoms. 89 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,842 Oh, good. Remind me that my baby-maker's 90 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:54,930 going out of business. 91 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,627 Right when I finally have a guy 92 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,716 I might actually want to make a baby with. 93 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,979 Sorry, could you repeat what you just said? 94 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:04,026 'Cause I went deaf when Marjorie said "condoms." 95 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:08,030 ♪ 96 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,424 Are you sure we can't sit down, maybe get started 97 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,600 with a little pickle plate or something? 98 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,777 As I told you before, I can't seat your party 99 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,257 until the club member arrives. 100 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,302 And as I told you before, 101 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,262 okay, we'll be right over there. 102 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:26,091 Christy, you've been kind of quiet. 103 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,354 Are you okay? 104 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,790 I'm fine. 105 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,182 I just got some bad news. 106 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,228 I don't want to make it about me. 107 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,361 It's Wendy's day.Wait for it. 108 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,493 It's just, I didn't get picked for moot court. 109 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,843 What's that?They make believe they're lawyers. 110 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,106 How am I ever gonna be taken seriously as a lawyer 111 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,369 if I can't even make moot court 112 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,067 at a law school next to a car wash? 113 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,677 I don't know where I went wrong. 114 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,637 I put my name in early, I sucked up to the professors, 115 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,074 and I can see you in the mirror! 116 00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,945 And I see you, too. Hi. 117 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,992 [phone chimes twice] 118 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:59,037 It's Jill. 119 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,083 She's not coming. 120 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:02,650 Seriously? What?! Aw. 121 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,173 She is, and I quote, 122 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:07,307 "going home to have Andy put a baby in it." 123 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,352 What about our lunch? 124 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,050 She says she'll make it up to you. 125 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,444 Well, now you've already seen me in this dress. 126 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,751 It's my first time wearing coral. 127 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,274 Hang on. 128 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,972 Hello, sir. 129 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:24,498 Would you like to have lunch with five beautiful women? 130 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,762 There won't be a big bar bill! 131 00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:33,985 ♪ 132 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,160 Hi. 133 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:36,597 Hi. What are you doing home? 134 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,990 I thought you were having a big lunch for Christy. 135 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,515 Wendy.They all kind of blend. 136 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,212 By the way, thanks for always having 137 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,083 bread and ham in your house. 138 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:47,390 Oh, it's 'cause I love you. Oh. 139 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,957 You know, if you really love me, 140 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,915 you could spring for some Miracle Whip. 141 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:54,397 I know. Girls hate it, but guys love it. 142 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:57,139 Sure. And in return, can we make a baby? 143 00:05:57,182 --> 00:06:01,099 I know. Guys hate it, but girls love it. 144 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:03,537 Wha... uh... [clears throat] 145 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,234 What? 146 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,628 Here's the thing. 147 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,065 What?Well... 148 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,808 it's just that we have been together for almost a year now, 149 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,811 and I'm not getting any younger, so, you know-- baby. 150 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,119 I'm gonna sit down for a second. 151 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,297 Is that a no?No, you know, it's just 152 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,517 I-I came here to make lunch-- had a little bit 153 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,214 of an issue with the sandwich spread. 154 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,086 That was gonna be my... 155 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:34,219 big dilemma o' the day. 156 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,700 Well, now it's: should we or shouldn't we make a person. 157 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:37,919 What do you think? 158 00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,617 Jill, I, um... 159 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,751 I'm sorry, I-I didn't see this coming on so quick. 160 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,623 You know how on our first date, 161 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:50,322 you said, "What are you, like, 35?" and I just smiled? 162 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,849 I'm 40. 163 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,068 And 18 months. 164 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,681 Okay. 165 00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:03,466 [sighs] But I think I'd be a great mom. 166 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,468 And I know you'd be a great dad. 167 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,861 I mean, you're so strong. 168 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,254 Just think how high you could toss a baby. 169 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,040 I would never toss a baby. 170 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,042 Look at you. You passed the test! 171 00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,522 Let's get to breedin'. 172 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,263 Okay, uh, listen... 173 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:22,006 babe, I-I get that your clock is ticking, 174 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,791 but I'm-I'm just... 175 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,706 [sighs] 176 00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,230 I'm not sure that we're... 177 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,884 there yet. 178 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:32,756 Oh. 179 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,064 You're right. 180 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:39,023 You're right. Forget I brought it up. 181 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,680 [grandfather clock chiming the hour] 182 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:47,292 That's not you, is it? 183 00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,079 ♪ 184 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,172 What? 185 00:07:57,215 --> 00:08:00,044 Nothing. I just love 186 00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:01,524 the one night a week the bar is closed 187 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,570 and we get to go to bed at the same time. 188 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,180 Me, too. I get to read a little. 189 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,531 Oh, wait, was that code? 'Cause if it's code, just say so. 190 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,794 No, no code. 191 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,404 Just as well. 192 00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,276 This book is about to unlock the mystery 193 00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,104 of compound interest for me. 194 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,540 Can you rub some lotion on my back? 195 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,455 Uh, sure. Wait, is this code? 196 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,501 Nothing is code. Oh, okay. 197 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,418 Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we'd a kid? 198 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,639 [exhales] We'd be in The Guinness Book of World Records, 199 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:32,207 so that'd be sweet.[chuckles] 200 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:35,515 I mean if we'd met during our childbearing years. 201 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:37,995 Yeah, I guess it's crossed my mind. 202 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,388 We'd be the coolest parents. 203 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:42,304 And as a result, our kid would be spectacular. 204 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,959 He'd probably be tall, which is great. 205 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,395 "He." I like that. 206 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,353 I already ruined a she. 207 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,181 He'd be funny. 208 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,705 He'd be outgoing. Mm. 209 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,185 He'd have the hair of a sexy Troll doll. 210 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,450 And I guess he'd say what he thinks whenever he felt like it 211 00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:01,236 no matter how hurtful. 212 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,194 And I guess he'd also be super sensitive. 213 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,458 Which is better than him being super insensitive. 214 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,548 Well, he'd also be passive-aggressive. 215 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:11,725 And likely have addiction issues. 216 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:14,379 And be in a wheelchair. 217 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:17,426 Yeah, snowboarding off a cliff isn't hereditary. 218 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,689 Is always needing to feel right hereditary? 219 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,343 If it is, our kid is doomed. 220 00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,345 Yeah, I'm starting to not like our son. 221 00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:25,826 Yeah, he does sound like a bit of a douche. 222 00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:28,263 But I'll tell you one thing: with you as a father, 223 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,873 he'd be gorgeous. 224 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,702 [chuckles]: Thanks. 225 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,965 What are you doing? That was code. 226 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,011 Wha...? Oh. 227 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,059 How was school? 228 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,278 Did you ask your professor 229 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,193 why you didn't get chosen for mute court? 230 00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,588 Mootcourt, and I don't want to talk about it. 231 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,198 Okay.Really? 232 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,416 You're walking away? 233 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,549 That was clearly a cry for help. 234 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333 [knocking on door] 235 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,292 So, you-you want to talk about it? 236 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,728 Oh, my God, no. 237 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:03,428 Exciting news, people. 238 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:04,995 Andy put a baby in it? 239 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,302 Not yet and maybe not soon and maybe not ever, 240 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,565 so I'm gonna freeze my eggs. 241 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,307 Good for you, taking matters into your own hands. 242 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,438 Exactly. [clears throat] 243 00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,527 Freezing eggs is like freezing time. 244 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:18,182 I can thaw them out, hit them with a dash of sperm 245 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,923 and use them whenever I'm ready. 246 00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:23,361 Isn't that really expensive? 247 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:24,319 Yeah, well, I thought so, too, 248 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,582 but it's only $30,000. 249 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,152 I've already been to the doctor. 250 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,241 I have to take a series of these fertility shots 251 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,677 to get me all eggy, 252 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,592 but I need a partner to help me with the injections. 253 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,507 So, Christy, 254 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,117 would you be my partner? 255 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:41,771 I'd love to. 256 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,077 Great! 257 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,427 Doctor said you should practice on a grapefruit. 258 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,341 So here you go. 259 00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,342 Yay! 260 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,561 Homework that's easy! 261 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:52,129 Isn't this something your boyfriend should do? 262 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,044 No, I decided not to tell him. 263 00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:56,568 I don't want him to think I'm obsessed with having a child. 264 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,833 What do you think of the name Pearl? 265 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,270 Hate. 266 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,707 Second grade, Pearl Fleming cut off my pigtail. 267 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:07,014 And you did nothing to deserve that? 268 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,191 Fine. Name your baby Pearl, 269 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,149 but we will have a complicated relationship. 270 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,413 Thanks for doing this. 271 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:16,893 What about Wendy? She's a nurse. 272 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,721 Mom, I finally got picked for something. 273 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,896 Let me have this. 274 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,122 Ready? Mm. 275 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,645 Did you practice? 276 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,516 Every grapefruit in our house is ready to give birth. 277 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,561 Okay. 278 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,607 What's that? 279 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,044 An alcohol wipe. 280 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,045 Ooh, alcohol. 281 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,394 Should we call Marjorie? 282 00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:41,613 Just don't put it in a glass with an olive, 283 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:42,789 and we'll be fine. 284 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,009 [mutters][whimpers] 285 00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,010 What? 286 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,186 I have an intense fear of needles. 287 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,101 Which is why I became an alcoholic, 288 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,278 even though heroin has less calories. 289 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:56,759 Just breathe.[inhales, exhales] 290 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,544 Now, I'm supposed to inject you two inches under your navel 291 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,851 by pinching a small section of your fat. 292 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,070 'Kay. 293 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,421 All right, stop flexing. 294 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:07,901 Sorry. 295 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,250 [groans] 296 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,426 There's not much to work with here. 297 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,602 I will pass that compliment on to my trainers, 298 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,604 Alfonso and Katya. 299 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,388 Ooh! 300 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:18,868 Calm down. Focus on the fact 301 00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,609 that you're lucky enough to be able to do this, 302 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:21,697 'cause not everyone can. 303 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,698 Wait a minute. 304 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,613 Do you want to do this? 305 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,528 Me? 306 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:27,921 I don't know. 307 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:28,922 Doesn't matter. 308 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,619 I could never afford it. 309 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:31,968 Christy, you're like a sister to me. 310 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:34,188 If you want to freeze your eggs, I'll pay for it. 311 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,147 You would? 312 00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,933 Yeah, we could go through this together. 313 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,545 You would give me $30,000? 314 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,373 Well, I wouldn't give it to you, 315 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,375 because of, you know, your gambling history, 316 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,594 but I wouldgive it to the egg people. 317 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:52,815 That's so incredibly generous. 318 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,121 Okay. 319 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,731 Give me the shot. 320 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,124 [exhales]I already did. 321 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,560 When you offered me the money, 322 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,215 I flinched and it slid right in. 323 00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:02,303 Wow. 324 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,957 Well, that didn't hurt at all. 325 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,915 I hope the baby pops out that easy. 326 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,788 Oh, don't worry. They do. 327 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,488 This grilled cheese is delicious. 328 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:16,665 I went crazy and mixed cheddar with American. 329 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,233 Two kinds of cheese. 330 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,626 Did you run into some money I didn't know about? 331 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,846 [door closes] 332 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,588 I am gonna be up all night. 333 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:27,807 What's wrong? 334 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,678 Jill said if I wanted to freeze my eggs, 335 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,071 she'd pay for it. 336 00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,987 Y-You want to freeze your eggs? 337 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:34,988 I don't know. [exhales] 338 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,511 I mean, it's kind of invasive. 339 00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,556 They put a needle in your vagina. 340 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,731 Okay. 341 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,864 I'm gonna take Gus for a walk. 342 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,823 Come on! 343 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:45,868 Would you want to have another kid? 344 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:49,524 I wouldn't mind a chance to do it sober. 345 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,092 Remembering Christmas concerts, 346 00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:54,703 showing up for soccer games, 347 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:56,923 keeping my clothes on in the ball pit 348 00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:59,577 at Chuck E. Cheese. 349 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:02,232 Hey, anyone who doesn't think about getting naked 350 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,887 in one of those things is lying to themselves. 351 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,541 Thank you.Mm. 352 00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,717 [sighs] I guess if I'm gonna harvest my eggs, 353 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,066 I should do it now. 354 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:13,156 My period has been extremely irregular lately. 355 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,157 ADAM: Hang on, please! 356 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,768 Just looking for the leash! 357 00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:17,726 And when my period does come, 358 00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,684 the flow is like Niagara Falls! 359 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,338 Just whoosh! 360 00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,339 ADAM: I don't need Gus! 361 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:23,688 I'm just leaving! 362 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,255 [door closes] 363 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,823 Hmm? 364 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,433 Do you think it's a terrible idea? 365 00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,435 If you want to do it, 366 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:32,741 I'm all in. 367 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,482 Seriously? 368 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:35,962 Yeah. Just put your eggs on ice. 369 00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,572 And then, after law school, we'll get Jill 370 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:38,921 to buy you some Olympic sperm, 371 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,923 and we'll raise a super baby. 372 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,272 Okay. 373 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:45,014 Okay, let's do this. 374 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:49,062 But I wouldn't want to do it right after law school, 375 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,672 'cause, you know, I'll want to give myself 376 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:52,630 a couple years to get established. 377 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:53,849 So in five years? 378 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,938 I might want to try and go for partner, 379 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,244 so I may need nine. 380 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,985 Okay, great. So... 381 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:02,162 when the kid graduates high school, you'll be, uh... 382 00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,946 [exhales] ...68. 383 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,166 And if my math is correct, I'll be... 384 00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:09,343 [sighs] ...67. 385 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,738 Mm, but are you sure? 386 00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:16,741 Because it sounds like you don't want to have a baby-- 387 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,134 you want to have a career. 388 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:21,398 Well, then why am I considering having a baby? 389 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,965 Because you didn't get into moot court. 390 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,662 That's ridiculous. 391 00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:27,056 [scoffs softly] Wait for it. 392 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,277 Oh. Damn, there's no one here. 393 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,626 Oh, my God. 394 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,541 I was totally about to have a baby 395 00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,021 because I didn't get a part 396 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,763 in what is basically the law school play. 397 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,723 Hey, I had you because I needed a ride home from a flea market. 398 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,946 JILL: Natalie! 399 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:50,297 In here! 400 00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:52,212 Do you like this dress? 401 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,648 Tell me the truth. 402 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:54,736 I love it. 403 00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:55,824 Are you sure? 404 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:56,694 'Cause I'm so hopped up on hormones, 405 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,740 I don't know who I am anymore. 406 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,003 It's more flowers than usual. 407 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,483 You hate it. 408 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:06,008 I look like a funeral wreath for a drag queen. 409 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,880 No, no, no, no, no, no. You really pull it off. 410 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:11,535 I think so. 411 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,711 How many more of these shots are you getting? 412 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,757 Oh, only two to go. 413 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,193 Thank God. 414 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,023 Wow! Look at you. 415 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,938 What's that supposed to mean? 416 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,809 Good luck. 417 00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:28,900 You all right? 418 00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:29,989 Yeah. Why? 419 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,556 Well, this week has been a little... 420 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,298 "I'm dating Judy Garland." 421 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,780 Hey, you made me watch that movie. 422 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,870 You think I'm crazy? 423 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:43,698 [chuckles]: No. 424 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:46,048 No. No, if anything, 425 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,963 I think that, not unlike Ms. Garland, 426 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,704 you're-you're under a lot of stress 427 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:53,099 that the-the world doesn't know about. 428 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:58,365 Man, that movie really had an impact on me. 429 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,020 I'm freezing my eggs. 430 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,935 What? 431 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,241 I'm jammed full of hormones, 432 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,461 and I'm out of my ever-lovin' mind. 433 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,723 Oh. 434 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,465 Honey, why would you keep that a secret? 435 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,293 'Cause I thought if I told you, 436 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,730 you'd feel like I was trying to push a kid on you, 437 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:19,560 you'd dump me and then I'd be sitting here with no boyfriend, 438 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,780 no baby and a fridge full of Miracle Whip. 439 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,306 Okay. Um... [clears throat] 440 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:30,310 I'm gonna have to be extremely careful with what I say here. 441 00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,138 I love you. 442 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,922 Yeah, that's good. 443 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,663 Um... 444 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:38,405 I was just... surprised. 445 00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:41,495 You know, the-the baby stuff just... 446 00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,800 caught me a little off guard. 447 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,759 I know. I'm so sorry. 448 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:45,760 No, it's okay. 449 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,718 I see that this is huge for you. 450 00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,285 You do? 451 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,374 'Cause I was trying to hide it. 452 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,986 And you were doing a masterful job. 453 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,858 Now, look, 454 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,686 I can admit that I'm... 455 00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,340 probably not ready to be a father. 456 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:03,560 But... when I picture my future, 457 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,519 you're in it. 458 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,132 I just want to take our time, 459 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:13,092 make sure that we get it right. 460 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,573 So you're fine with this whole freezing eggs thing? 461 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,314 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 462 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,142 I love you. 463 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,578 [chuckles] 464 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:22,840 [chuckles] 465 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,717 I don't have to freeze anything, do I? 466 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,502 No. 467 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,983 Your stuff has the shelf life of a Twinkie.Oh. 468 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:37,028 Great. 469 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,385 [soothing music playing] 470 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,257 You know, 471 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,432 when I heard "sugar scrub," 472 00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:50,868 I thought it was crazy. 473 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,783 But I am clean, I am relaxed 474 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:56,396 and I taste like an Abba-Zaba bar. 475 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:02,184 Jill, this is a great way to celebrate Wendy's promotion. 476 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,447 Eh, too bad we all thought 477 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:07,450 it was somebody else's job to invite her. 478 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:10,105 I'll make it up to her. 479 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,412 I would like to be a part of whatever that is. 480 00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,109 I'm just gonna say two words. 481 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,285 Disney cruise. 482 00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,331 [phone rings] 483 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:21,377 It's my fertility doctor. 484 00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,076 [exhales] 485 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,513 Hi, Dr. Dubois. 486 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,342 Uh-huh. 487 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:30,343 Okay. 488 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:32,127 Thanks for letting me know. 489 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,868 Bye-bye. 490 00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,391 So? 491 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:36,914 What's our egg count? 492 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,264 Zero. 493 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,440 What? 494 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,616 None of them were viable. 495 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,706 CHRISTY: Oh. 496 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,229 Jill, I'm sorry. 497 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,927 "Are you okay?" is a stupid question, but... 498 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,364 are you? 499 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,149 I don't know. 500 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,325 I mean, I have come at this baby thing 501 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,326 from so many different angles, 502 00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,676 and it's just not happening. 503 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,113 But you can try again. 504 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:04,986 Maybe. 505 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,032 You want to go home? 506 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,733 No. 507 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:25,093 [voice breaking]: I just want to be with my friends. 508 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,834 Captioning sponsored by CBS 509 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:29,053 and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 510 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:31,099 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 35173

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.