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Cartoon voice:
Good night, Triangle.
Good night, Square.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,703
Thanks for showing us
how fun it is to learn.
3
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:10,401
Do you want to gettheir pajamas, or should I...
4
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,273
Ohh.
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00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,188
[ Click ]
6
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:17,452
Announcer: Next, "Blood Orgy 7:
Rise of the Organ Hoarder."
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00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:18,670
[ Weapon scrapes, man grunts ]
8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,629
[ Laughs ]
9
00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:22,544
Woman: Aah! [ Chain saw revving ]
10
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:25,329
[ Woman screaming,
chain saw buzzing ]
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00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,939
[ Thumping, men grunting]
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00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,071
Oh, my God!
13
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:28,985
Woman: Why?!
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00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,204
Why?!
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00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:33,294
--Captions by VITAC--
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00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,948
Captioning Provided by
20th Century Fox Television
and ABC, Inc.
17
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,951
and brought to you by Ford.
Going further, so you can.
18
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,737
♪♪
19
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,088
Are you Daniel Boone?
20
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,569
Who's asking?
21
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,353
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
22
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,268
I just came
to see Kentucky,
23
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,227
the fifth-largest
tobacco producer
24
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,752
and the third-largestcoal producer in the country.
25
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,971
I feel like I am there.
26
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:01,191
The only thing more painful
than children's theater
27
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,975
is what's going on
with my back right now.
28
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,804
Why can't you take the pillsthat the doctor gave you
29
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,806
so that you can enjoyyour son's tour de force?
30
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,286
I just need
a little stretch.
31
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,114
Doctors give you pills
for everything today.
32
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,550
Now we need
a volunteer.
33
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,944
Mr. Pritchett, thank you
for your enthusiasm.
34
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,380
What?[ Whispering ]
One of our players
35
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,686
has been kidnapped
by his stepfather,
36
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:18,774
but the show must go on.
37
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,036
Place a star on the flag
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,907
every time
a territory becomes a state.
39
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,344
Seriously,
but do the police --
40
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:26,347
[ Normal voice ]
How 'bout a round of applause?!
41
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,826
[ Groans ]
42
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,612
[ Whispering ] Faster, please.
We're losing them.
43
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,179
Where are you?
44
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,529
You're missing Joe's tributeto the 50 nifty United States.
45
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,226
Claire: [ Coughs ]
46
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,141
[ Nasally ] I'm at home in bed
with the worst cold.
47
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,056
Afraid the whole family's down.
48
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,841
Might've even lost
a few house plants, yeah.
49
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,626
Okay, well, I'm gonna
get some rest now.[ Grunts ]
50
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,367
Alright. Take care.
51
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,194
[ Cellphone beeps ]
52
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,414
[ Sighs ]
53
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,415
[ Thud ]
Aah!
54
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,416
Phil!
55
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,941
You told meyou sold your dad's RV!
56
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,553
And you told me you were
running your 5-mile loop!
57
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,816
This street is
on your 3-mile course,
58
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,774
so who are you
really mad at, Claire?
59
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,298
[ Laughs nervously ]
60
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:05,951
Cameron:Gloria, we are so sorry,
61
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,432
but we're not gonna be ableto make it to Joe's play.
62
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,434
No, no, Ronaldo's mom,she had --
63
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,349
well, she had
emergency surgery,
64
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:15,222
and, uh, he and Pepper
dropped off their Great Danes
65
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,049
to our place
with no warning.
66
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,616
[ Barking ]
67
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,488
No! No, stay away from that!
Not the vase!
68
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,318
Sorry, Gloria.
I gotta go.
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00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,058
[ Cellphone beeps ]You couldn't just sayyou had a cold?
70
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:28,060
Oh, yeah,
and Abe Lincoln,
71
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,280
he could've said,
"87 years ago,"
72
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:31,977
and Hamlet could've said,
"Maybe I'll kill myself."
73
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,892
No, it's
the finishing touches
74
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,243
that separate the merely good
from great, Mitchell!
75
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,462
Sweetie, I know you'rereally tense about this --
76
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,247
No, no, no!
Don't jinx it, don't jinx it!
77
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,552
Cam is up for head coach
78
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,511
at the University of Nor--Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup!
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00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,209
[ Inhales ]
Bup, bup!
80
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,385
Cam is up for
head football coach
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00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,083
at the University
of North Central Missouri.
82
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:52,215
It's his dream job,
83
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,217
and they're supposed to
call him about it today,
84
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,306
and it's making him
a little crazy.
85
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,351
In f-fact --
86
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,266
C-Claire's always
Dad's favorite,
87
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,876
and I-I'm really miffedabout that.
88
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,618
Oh, boy.
This again, huh?
89
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,228
Okay. No, go on.
90
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,448
I'm ready.Oh, my God!
91
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:10,494
Honey, you look gorgeous!
Look at her.Ah, sweetie! Oh!
92
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,235
Now, may I give you a piece
of advice from myfirst date?
93
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,063
Don't say how much
you want to have kids,
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00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,847
and don't cry,
because your makeup will run.
95
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,240
I'm more worriedabout my
daterunning
96
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,633
when he sees you two there.
97
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,809
You'll barely even
notice us, okay?
98
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,028
Just be yourself.
You are -- You're so funny.
99
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,161
[ Gasps ] Okay,
tell that funny story
100
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,163
of the old drunk guy
who was kissing the donkey.
101
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,383
Oh, because
yourfamily's perfect?
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00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,254
[ Ringtone playing ]Okay. Oh, my God!
That's it!
103
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,342
That's the job!
104
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,039
Where's my phone?!
Where's my phone?!
105
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,520
This is the worst thing
that could be happ--
106
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,130
Okay, it's just
my mediation app.[ Cellphone beeps ]
107
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:40,959
[ Exhales sharply ]
108
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,440
Okay, you needto control your man.
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00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,963
If he gets bad news
tonight
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00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,835
and melts down
in front of Randy,
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00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,316
I can kiss"kissing him goodbye" goodbye.
112
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,274
Okay, no, I gotcha, I gotcha.
Come on, let's go.
113
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,450
I understand we allget attached to things
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00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,104
that belonged
to our parents.
115
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,410
That's not it.
116
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,325
I'm doing this so you and I
can have some adventures.
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00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,283
Can't you see yourself
making lists and folding shirts
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00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,416
while we drive across
the Golden Gate Bridge?
119
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,548
We're never gonna
use this thing.
120
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,724
It guzzles gas,and it takes an hour to park.
121
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:07,943
Well,
then leave it here.
122
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,292
You've always wanted
a guest house.
123
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,555
Not one with seat beltsat the dining table.
124
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,516
No discussion, Dylan.
125
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,692
We're taking them to see
a baby psychiatrist.
126
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,433
Are you still talking aboutthat crazy movie?
127
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,956
Well,
it messed them up!
128
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,392
We took them
to the park.
129
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,872
Swing set -- bored.
130
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,177
Cute squirrels -- snore.
131
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,701
Then an old lady
walking her poodle
132
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,311
trips and gets dragged
through a rosebush,
133
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,965
and these two
burst out laughing
134
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,445
like two stoners
in a tickle fight.
135
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,011
I'm sureyou're both overreacting
136
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,448
the way
all new parents do.
137
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,884
No, Mom,
we're screwing this up.
138
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,581
At the very least,
we need help,
139
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,540
like -- like an au pair
or something.
140
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,367
That's two nannies,
right?
141
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,368
Correct.
Okay.
142
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,978
Ohh.
143
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:46,590
Look at how gentle they're beingwith that butterfly.
144
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,505
See? You two were worryingfor no--
145
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,681
[ Twins giggle ]They're tearing it apart.Ohh!
146
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:53,554
What do you saywe leave the babies with Farrah
147
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,338
and the grown-ups go outand talk about this over dinner?
148
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,426
Great idea.
149
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,210
Oh!
Four people, though.
150
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,995
Try fitting that
in a regular car.
151
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,605
Wait a minute.
152
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,956
What if we took the R--you kidding me?!
153
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,002
Remind me to buy
some wheel blocks!
154
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,268
Oh, God.
Lily needs my help.
155
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,836
[ Brays ]
156
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,403
Cameron: What the hellare you doing?
157
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,143
I'm -- I'm trying to get herto tell that funny donkey story.
158
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,580
By making an Eeyore sound?
159
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,843
You know what?Not all donkeys are depressed.
160
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,453
That'san offensive stereotype
161
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,586
perpetuated bya bunch of ignorant Iowans.
162
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,588
[ Cellphone vibrates ]Oh, my God!
My phone's buzzing!
163
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,980
[ Sighs ]
It's just Longinus.
164
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,418
Yeah, we know. You metMarie Osmond at a Five Guys.
165
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:32,810
Nobody cares.
166
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,510
My friend saidwe should try the potato.
167
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,772
Lily!Hey, guys. Guys, guys, guys,
guys, guys, guys, guys.
168
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,034
Hey.Claire: Hi!
169
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,383
Hey, guys!
What are you doing here?
170
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,515
Oh, just taking a breakfrom scarring our children.
171
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,473
Now, come on.
172
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,214
Haley and Dylan were having
a little bit of a meltdown,
173
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,737
and we thought we'd hit Spuds
one last time
174
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:47,738
before they close
for good.
175
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,523
I know.
It's sad, isn't it?
176
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,481
Remember we used to spend
all of our birthdays here...Yeah!
177
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:54,484
...and Spuddy Holly
would always sing to us.Yes! Oh.
178
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,878
Both: ♪ Scalloped, fried,
or lyonnaise ♪
179
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,575
♪ Spuds' potatoes amaze
180
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,055
♪ Happy birthday
181
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,970
I want to stress
that I'm adopted.
182
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,841
Why don't we leave the lovebirdsto their date?
183
00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,539
Good idea,
but you know what?
184
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,584
Spuds is better with morepeople, much like a vehicle.
185
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,586
Let's -- Let's see if they cansit the rest of us together.
186
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:10,544
Okay, yeah.Okay.
187
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,806
Alright.
188
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:14,896
[ Indistinct talking ]
189
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,463
[ Gasps ]
190
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:19,074
I'd been following Cam'scompetitor for the coaching spot
191
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,815
on Instagram, and --
[ Sighs ]
192
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,860
...he beat Cam out for the job,
193
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,688
which meant, any minute,
194
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,603
Cam would be getting
the devastating news himself.
195
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,258
And I-I-I couldn't rely on
the joyful environment of Spuds
196
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,999
to cushion the blow.
197
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,218
Although, it is famously
where Larry King broke up
198
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,698
with four of his wives.
199
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,047
Cam. Cam.
200
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,875
I-I-I just got
some bad news,
201
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,660
and I think it's bestthat you hear it from me.
202
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:40,617
Oh, I heard.
203
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,140
They're out of
the Impossible Potato.
204
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,707
Now, I'm sorry,
205
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,275
you advertise the first potato
made entirely of meat,
206
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,320
ya better have enough
for everyone.
207
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,456
[ Hawaiian music plays ][ Groans ]
Please just
take those pills.
208
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,589
You're more crookedthan General James Wilkinson
209
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,808
duringthe Louisiana Purchase.
210
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,506
We're down to
the last state.
211
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,464
It's actually better
if I move.
212
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,293
[ Groans ]
213
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,513
Wow.
This is gorgeous.[ Groans ]
214
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:07,644
What do you call
this place, again?
215
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,037
Pearl Harbor.
216
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,650
[ Bomb whistles, explosions ]
217
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,479
[ Gunfire ]
218
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,741
Aah!
219
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,396
Save the flag, boys!
220
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,529
[ Groaning ]
221
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,313
[ Cheers and applause ]
222
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,406
Haley,
get off your phone.
223
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,147
The babies are fine
with Dylan's mom.
224
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,410
If you're feeling tense,
my dad's old foot bath
is in the RV.
225
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,151
Plugs right into
the cigarette lighter.
226
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,500
Honey, there could bea money volcano
227
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,633
that plugs right intoa white wine fountain in there.
228
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,938
I still wouldn't want it.
229
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,592
I keep remembering things
I forgot to tell her.
230
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,115
My kids
are already sociopaths.
231
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:46,335
I don't need to give them astrawberry allergy on top of it.
232
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,641
Oh, I completely,
totally get that.
233
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:48,511
Just gonna turn this off.
234
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,991
You know what?
235
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,514
Hey, let-- let's all turn off
our phones. Come on.
236
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,560
Yeah, you can -- No, come on.
Live in the moment.
237
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,779
I mean, appreciate the fact
that we live in a town
238
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,433
with family and friends
239
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,217
all sitting at the same table
where --
240
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,438
oh, yeah, "Eisenhower planned
the D-Day invasion."
241
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,526
Well,
that's probably not true.
242
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,745
Sounds like
somebody's nervous
243
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,398
about a possible moveto Missouri.
244
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,965
No, I'm --
I'm just pointing out
245
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,359
that there are a lot of
really great things here.
246
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:11,795
Like -- Like,
wouldn't it be a shame
247
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,884
to cut that blossoming
relationship short?
248
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:16,670
Actually, I'm not so surehow much I trust that Randy guy.
249
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,672
I mean, what kind of sicko is
attracted to a 12-year-old?
250
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,325
I wonder if his parents
messed him up, too.
251
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,762
You know, I read
on a mommy blog
252
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,764
that bad parenting is a direct
link to future criminality --
253
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:24,765
and deejaying.
254
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:25,766
Okay, you know what?
255
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,202
You two
need to be careful
256
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,726
because you can read so muchabout howto parent,
257
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,336
you miss out on beingone.
258
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,947
Mitchell struggled
with that.
259
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,949
Just relax.
260
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,167
Aww, sweetheart.
261
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,039
[ Fusses ]Oh. [ Sniffs ]
262
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,649
Did you put
hair spray in this?Just a little bit, yes.
263
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,824
I'm gonna put
some music on.
264
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,739
No, Cam,
I have to go work.Dance with her!
265
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,436
Come on.
I don't have time for this.Put a little boogiein it.
266
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,786
No, come on, it --♪ Stand up♪
267
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,788
Just dance.You know you love this song.
268
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,050
Alright. Okay.
269
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,052
Who's the dancing queen,
huh?
270
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,184
♪ ...all over town♪
271
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,925
Put a little boogie
in it.
272
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,448
See? Fun.[ Lily giggles ]
273
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:57,493
[ Thud ]Oh, my --
274
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,668
Was that her head?
275
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,583
Sorry. I forgot
how that story ended.
276
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,977
It ended with us
in the ER
277
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,675
of one of the best hospitalsin the world.
278
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,242
Nice having that
only a mile away.
279
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,374
I'll have you know that
the life expectancy in Missouri
280
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,246
just climbed above
Arkansas and Guam.
281
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,074
Okay, give me back my phone.
I'm ordering baby helmets.
282
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,510
Stop worrying.
283
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,425
Kids get bonked
all the time.
284
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:18,166
Do you knowhow many tumbles Luke took?
285
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,167
[ Laughs ]
286
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,298
[ Dog barks ]
287
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,474
I think
he wants to go out.
288
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,041
Good boy!
289
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,739
Smart dog.
290
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,002
I hate to break it to you, butI think all dogs can do that.
291
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,481
I'm gonna play outside.
292
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,484
Ow!
293
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,703
[ Groans ]
294
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,052
What happened?
295
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,619
And he's fine.
296
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,838
...ish.
297
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,100
I love the guy,
298
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,102
but we're aiminga little bit higher than Luke.
299
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,973
Haley, you kind of want
your kids to get knocked
around a little.
300
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,018
It toughens them up
for things
301
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,497
that we all go through
in adulthood.
302
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,499
Daddy wins!
303
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,501
Do you believe
in miracles?!
304
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,808
USA! US--
305
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:52,983
Oh, no!
306
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,638
Oh, geez!
[ Gasps ]
307
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,074
Oh, my --
What was that?
308
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:57,858
Was that a person
that fell --I'm good!
309
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:58,902
Dad?!
310
00:09:58,946 --> 00:09:59,816
Hey, Dad, think fast.
311
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,603
Aren't you being
a little --
312
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,520
But this isn't
an emergen--
313
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,087
[ Grunts ][ Taser clicking ]
314
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,524
[ Grunts ]
315
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,221
[ Groans ]
316
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,658
Now it i-i-i-i-is!
317
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,791
I mean, sure, I canno longer taste salt, but --
318
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,662
I know that they're going to get
bumps and bruises,
319
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:22,360
but I'm talking about
psychologicalscars.
320
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,232
I've had some experience
with that myself.
321
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,668
Kids: Surpri--Phil: Oh, oh!
322
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,887
[ Kids screaming,
glass shatters ]No!
323
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,236
Oh!
324
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:28,889
Claire: No!
No!
325
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,064
I'm sorry!
326
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,239
Nothing's happening!
327
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,327
Oh, my God!
328
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,807
It still haunts her.
329
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,809
Not to be weird,but she still won't let me
330
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,680
mention your nameswhile we're making love.
331
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,725
Okay.
332
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,075
Well, well, well.
333
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:44,121
Yes,
well, well, well.
334
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,471
I see
your cold is better.
335
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,735
Turns out it was,like, an allergy...thing.
336
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,693
And Pepper's Great Danes?
337
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,695
Oh, uh, well, you know,
they're big dogs.
338
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,958
They -- Um, and they don't,
uh, uh, live long.
339
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,090
So they're --
340
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,569
they're dead.
341
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,702
I must look like
Frederick Seward
342
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,791
during the Alaska Purchase,
343
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,620
because, apparently, you think
that I'll buy anything.
344
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,100
Gloria, okay, okay.
345
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:07,754
We're s-- We're sorry --
We're sorry we lied to you,
346
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,843
but if it makes you
feel any better,
347
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,714
Longinus took
this really great photo of you
348
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,760
at the Shakira concert
the night that you missed
349
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,544
Lily's clarinet recital
because of pink eye.
350
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,588
Ohh!
351
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,589
[ Chuckles ]
352
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,591
I see
that you've been waiting
353
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:20,941
to spring that attack
on me,
354
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:24,205
just like Andrew Jackson
in the Battle of New Orleans.
355
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,641
Is this my life now?
356
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,773
I'm gonna
use the restroom.
357
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,297
Will someone order
the table-side baked potatoes?
358
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,429
I mean, that's half of why
you come here -- for the show.
359
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,216
Public restroom,
huh?
Mm.
360
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,609
Shame he can't go
in the privacy of his own car.
361
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,873
It's true. The RVdoes have a bathroom.
362
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,005
And a bolted-down
Mr. Coffee,
363
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,964
bear-proof
undercarriage food bins.
364
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,792
And how many mileswould you say is on it?
365
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:46,836
Wait!
366
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,665
You're selling her
on Craigslist?
367
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,319
And this isn't even
a good picture!
368
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,755
This is her bad side!
369
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,018
Hey, look, I get the value
of an RV, Claire.
370
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:58,587
There is so much natural beauty
to explore here in California.
371
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,110
The Golden State!
372
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,851
Are you really trying to get outof moving to Missouri?
373
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,026
No, no!
374
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:06,813
Sounds like what we need is
a Missouri Compromise.
375
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,772
Gloria, are you drugging
Grandpa's Potato-tini?
376
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,774
You saw
how bent over he is.
377
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:14,168
For some reason,
he's scared of pills,
378
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,213
and I can't watch him
suffer anymore.
379
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,955
I hate it when they get cutewith the bathroom signs.
380
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,001
Why would French friesmean ladies
381
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,872
and baked potato gents?
382
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,265
Just throw one of theminto a skirt.
383
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,180
So, uh, Dad,
384
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:29,052
Gloria says that you won't
take pills for your back?
385
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,880
I got to get this
from all sides now?
386
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,143
I don't likewhat they do to me, alright?
387
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,450
They make me
feel super...
388
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,495
Horny? Constipated?
389
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,975
Emotional.
390
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,065
You know, sometimes you can justride out a pause, buddy.
391
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,372
Anyway, the pain got so bad,
I broke down.
392
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,721
I took a couple
in the men's room,
393
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,289
which is the maximum dose,
so strap in.
394
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,464
N-N--
395
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,423
You know,
I'm gonna miss this place.
396
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,468
[ Guitar strumming ]
397
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,209
Look, Spuddy Holly!
398
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,950
He just about said it all,
didn't he?
399
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,517
"Scalloped, fried, lyonnaise.
400
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,955
[ Voice breaking ]
Spuds' potatoes do amaze."
401
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,610
Four pills?
Is he gonna be okay?
402
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,960
He can handle it.
403
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,004
Dad lived throughthe closet scene in the '80s.
404
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,179
So did I.
405
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,573
Oh, my God. He's talking
to Lily and Dylan!
406
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,097
I'mDylan.
407
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,100
You know, Randy,
you remind me of a young me,
408
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,624
prowling Saigon
with a Vietnamese beauty.
409
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,061
There was
this one bar I used to --Let's go.
410
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,976
Let's get you
some black coffee.
411
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,979
[ Singsong voice ]Peekaboo! George! Poppy!
412
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,981
[ High-pitched ]
Hello? Is anybody home?
413
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,723
[ Normal voice ] What gives?
Mister Napkin usually kills.
414
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,942
Who wanted coffee?
415
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,074
Ah, here!
416
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:34,988
Ohh!Ohh!
417
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,076
[ Twins laugh ]
418
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991
They're laughing!See? They're psychos!
419
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,863
Ay! Sorry, mister.
Are you okay?
420
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,866
I actually don't feel anything,
which is even more scary.
421
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,955
Don't be scared
to feel, buddy.
422
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,565
You could end up
running away
423
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,264
from an emotional situationwith your kids,
424
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:53,136
and those are alwaysthe most rewarding.
425
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,572
You ask me,
you're lucky.
426
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,922
She dumped me by text
427
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,011
while making outwith her old boyfriend.
428
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,360
I broke down crying.
429
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,971
My charcoal ran
like mascara.
430
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,365
I had to be comfortedby the other team's mascot.
431
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,975
Lucky?
432
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,455
Aw, I'm not
gonna lie to you.
433
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:11,241
It sucks, and sometimes
it's got to suck for a while.
434
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,591
I just wish
I could say some magic words
435
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,724
or give you a hug,
make it all go away.
436
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,034
[ Voice breaking ]In a way, he raised
me.
437
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,514
Pull yourself together,
man!
438
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255
Phil: Haley, um,
439
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:28,955
I think what your...chemically humanized grandfather
440
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,566
is trying to say is that
kids are built to last.[ Chuckles ]
441
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,133
Sure, they --
they go through stuff,
442
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,961
but they survive, especially
when you're around to help.
443
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,964
[ Voice breaking ]
I miss him.
444
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,053
Yeah.
445
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,490
He wasyour first real boyfriend.
446
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,493
I keep expecting him
to show up.
447
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,583
He used to come by at night,
and I'd sneak out to see him.
448
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:49,976
Yeah, I know.
449
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,368
You knew?
450
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:55,198
His car is 30 years oldand doesn't have a muffler.
451
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,460
And he honked.
452
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,073
I loved that car.
453
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,552
I know it hurts now,sweetheart,
454
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:05,687
but that's how you know it wasa relationship worth having.
455
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,213
[ Sniffles ]
456
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,129
Aw.
457
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,826
Well, what happened?
458
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:15,740
Did he come back?
459
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742
That --
460
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,092
That was you, buddy.
461
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,616
I love this kid.
462
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,226
I remember
when he was a baby.
463
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,401
[ Laughs ]
464
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,882
We met my senior year
of high school.
465
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,318
Who does everyone
think I am?
466
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,451
Jay: [ Chuckling ]
You know, it's --
467
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,541
Thing about babies, you --
you fall in love with a baby
468
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,586
with the cutest
little fat folds,
469
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,675
and then -- bam --
they're gone.
470
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,895
But it's okay,
because in its place
471
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,202
is this...toddler
472
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,378
with the greatest laugh
on Earth.
473
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,771
And then one day,
the toddler's gone,
474
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,904
and in its place,
a little kid
475
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,908
that asks the most interesting
questions you've ever heard.
476
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,562
And this keeps going on
like that,
477
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,043
but you never get the chance
to miss any of them,
478
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,829
'cause there's always a new kid
to take the place of the old.
479
00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,222
Until they grow up.
480
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,616
And then...in a moment,
481
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:09,185
all those kids
you fell in love with
482
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,187
walk out the door
at the same time.
483
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,276
Jesus.
484
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,625
Oh, I don't mean
to be a bummer.
485
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,019
I'm just saying it goes fast.
486
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,456
Like the expression...
487
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,068
"You never know the last time
you pick up your kid."
488
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,504
Phil: The point
we're making, Haley,
489
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,680
is that it's natural
to worry over your kids.
490
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,725
It -- It just means
that you love them.
491
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,467
So, I'm always gonna feel likeI screwed them up somehow?
492
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,295
Kind of.
493
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,210
I mean, eventually,you'll be able to laugh at it --
494
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,431
probably around the time
that you're reassuring
your own children
495
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,954
that they didn't
screw up theirbabies.
496
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,695
[ Chuckles ] Thanks.
497
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,045
No, actually, thank you.
498
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,265
It's nice to know, as parents,
that we can still have --
499
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,309
Dad?
500
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,311
I miss picking up
my little girl.
501
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,531
And it won't bethe last time, damn it!
502
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,054
Oh!You wanta piggyback ride, honey?
503
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,229
No. No. No.
504
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,709
You sure?Okay, I'm calling it.
505
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:55,840
[ Cellphone ringing ]Oh, my gosh!
506
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:56,928
Okay, this is it!
507
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:57,886
[ Cellphone beeps ]Uh...
508
00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,192
Hello?
509
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,976
[ Footsteps depart ]
510
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,457
The French fries
were only okay.Phil: Sorry about that.
511
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,894
Took a minute
getting Jay to his car.
Mm.
512
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,114
He saw a cloud that looked like
his old football coach,
513
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:10,203
and he didn't
want to be alone.
Ohh!
514
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,683
Turned out to be kind ofa fun night, huh?
Yeah.
515
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:13,902
Yeah.
516
00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,339
By the way...
517
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:19,168
I got a response
to my Craigslist ad.
518
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,996
Oh.
Oh, that was fast.
519
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,215
Yeah.
520
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,955
Yeah, really nice couple,
521
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,348
soon to be
empty nesters --
522
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,221
three kids,
two new grandkids.
523
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,136
Wife's a little high-strung.
524
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,920
Husband's a bit
of an oddball
525
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,791
with an infectious
lust for life.
526
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,489
They sound like weirdos.No sale.
527
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:37,534
Phil,
I'm talking about us.
528
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,883
We should keep the RV.
529
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,581
That is amazing.
[ Sighs ]
530
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,800
What changed your mind?
531
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:46,282
I think it was hearing
all those stories tonight.
532
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,718
And the kids'll
be gone soon.
533
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:50,112
We'll probably spend
a lot of time on the road.
534
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,941
Might as well do it
in the height of luxury --
535
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:56,292
with a carpeted bathroom
and a four-in-one game table.
536
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,120
You're incredible.
Mm.
537
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,122
What did I do to deservea wife cool enough
538
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,212
to let me keep my dad's RVand his newborn parrot?
539
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,170
His newborn what?
540
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,563
Mmmmmwah.
541
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,391
Honey, parrots live
like 70 to 8--
Mmmmmm.
542
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,568
[ Sighs ]
543
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,791
That was not the call
I was expecting.
544
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,923
Sweetie, I know.
545
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:21,361
I-I saw the other coachcelebrating on Instagram,
546
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,972
uh, drenching himselfin Gatorade -- in the house.
547
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,930
There was a rug.Who's gonna clean that up?
548
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,497
Not him, I bet.
549
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,934
I'm reading from your facethat you didn't knowuntil I just told you.
550
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,284
Now I'm just talkingout of nerves.
551
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,415
Damn it! I --
552
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,635
[ Sighs ]
I didn't get it?!
553
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:38,160
I mean, I know I'm hard to read,but I really wanted that job.
554
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,597
I'm so sorry.
C-Come here.
555
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,338
Wait, is that why
you were selling California
556
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,035
all night long to me?
557
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,602
Because you wantedto soften the blow when I heard?
558
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:46,560
Yeah.
559
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,518
Well, that is
weirdly sweet.
560
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,346
I'll be there
in a second.Okay.
561
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:54,220
Um...Just wanted to let you know
the donkey story killed.
562
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,873
Ha ha!
It totally
broke the ice.
563
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,179
We've been having
so much fun!
564
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:58,528
Oh, honey!
I'm so happy!
565
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,964
Thanks. Me, too.
566
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,836
He asked if I could go outside
and get ice cream.
567
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:02,576
Can I?
568
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:03,968
O-Of course, yes.
569
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,841
But just make good choices
about the toppings.
570
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,799
Don't get sprinkles.
They're just wax.
571
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,758
[ Chuckles ]
572
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,674
Well, now, there'sa smallvictory at least, right?
573
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:16,633
First date was a success,and we get an assist.
574
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,418
S-- Uh, sorry --
football term.
575
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,767
Eh, except it isn't.
576
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,421
Uh, by the way, what wasthat phone call you got?
577
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,250
Oh.
Uh [Chuckles] crazy.
578
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,773
Our adoption agency.
579
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,209
From years ago?
580
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,908
Y-Yeah, apparently, uh, they
were migrating the database,
581
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:34,260
and somehow, our profile got
accidentally reactivated and --
582
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,652
and somebody picked us.
583
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,437
Wait, picked us?
584
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,395
A-As in there--
there's a baby?
585
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,831
I know. Wild, right?
586
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,833
W-Well, you --
you told them no?
587
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,096
Well, it felt wrong
until I talked to you about it,
588
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,360
but, yeah,
I-I'll -- I will.
589
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:48,317
I'll tell 'em.
590
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,886
It was really funtelling those stories tonight.
591
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,017
Yeah.
592
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,932
Really puts losing a job
in perspective.
593
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,456
You know,
none of our best memories
594
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,023
have anything to do
with work.
595
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,112
They all have to do
with that little girl
right out there.
596
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,245
Well, you know,she's not so little anymore.
597
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,507
[ Chuckles ]
598
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,901
Oh. Oh, I think we're about tohave a hand-holding moment.
599
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,473
You know, we got pretty good
at this parenting thing,
600
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,561
didn't we?
601
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,478
[ Clicks tongue ]
Um...
602
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,958
so, uh, we -- we have totell the agency tonight?
603
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:27,487
Well, technically, we have
24 hours to, uh...decide.
604
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:28,270
Okay.
605
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:31,926
[ Crickets chirping ]
606
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:37,323
Jay.
607
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:39,063
I'm sorry.
608
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,283
I will never
drug you again.
609
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,677
But it was so nice to see youso open and honest.
610
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,722
Yeah, I was
a regular "Honest Abe."
611
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:46,767
Who's that?
612
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:51,206
It's probably good to be
emotional every now and then.
613
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,905
I should probably practice
letting it out without a pill.
614
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,212
Hey, I was proud of you
in that show you did.
615
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,300
I love you!
616
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,781
I know. We had this conversationfour times last night.
617
00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:01,999
Really?
618
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:05,394
Um, maybe you should check
your call history.
619
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:08,528
Oh, no.
620
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:09,529
[ Cellphone beeps ]
621
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,357
Jay: You inspire me.
622
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,184
And I think
I'm rude to you sometimes
623
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,099
because I'm scared of that,
Phil.
624
00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:16,884
This is a long way of saying
625
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:20,366
[Voice breaking] I think
I finally have a best friend.
626
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,976
You inspire me.
627
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,369
And I think
I'm rude to you somet--
628
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,851
♪♪
629
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,812
♪♪
42667
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