All language subtitles for Mental.S01E08_English

Pop quiz.
Top three ways
teens try to kill themselves.

What ages?
Fifteen to 19.

All attempts,
or successful only?
All.

- Males or females?
- Girls.

Poison, usually pills.

Cutting.
Suffocation, usually hanging.

Boys?
Firearms.
Jumping. Hanging.

Girls think about suicide twice
as often. Boys are four times
more likely to succeed.

Girls romanticize.
They imagine what
they'll look like afterward.

That's why guns are rare.

Boys are--
Achievers?

Yeah. I guess boys
have to be better
than girls at something.

Come on, Heather.
What's the problem?
I have homework.

When's your dad
gettin' home?

- Why?
- Well, you said we could.

[ Groans ]
I know what I said.

Soon. Okay?

You've been
telling me that for months.

Stop. Stop it.

When?
When I don't have homework.

Other methods.
Girls in particular.

In very small percentages,
transportation related--

running into traffic,
driving off the road.

Thelma and Louise.
Thelma and Louise.

And drowning,
though that's pretty rare.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Heartbeat ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Breathing Heavily ]

[ Sniffles ]

[ Crying ]

[ Bottle Clatters ]

What about burning?
Self-immolation.

No way.
Not on purpose.

Too painful.
Too destructive.

Too horrible to contemplate.

That's
the conventional wisdom.

Heather.

[ Gasps, Yelps ]

[ Screams ]

Heather!
Come on.

- [ Siren Wailing ]
- [ Chattering ]

So why would
a 16-year-old girl deliberately
set herself on fire?

[ Dings ]

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Mr. Harris,
please report to Biofeedback.

Mr. Harris,
please report to Biofeedback.

I tried to put it out,
but it hit the curtains.
I called 911.

- Is she gonna be okay?
- Luckily, you got to her before
she was seriously burned.

But, Matt, have you any idea
why Heather might have
done something like this?

Has she been depressed
or unusually quiet?
Moody? Acting strangely?

No, she's fine. She's okay.
I mean, she's really happy.
I would know.

Does she drink
or use drugs or any substances
that might affect her behavior?

I've never even seen
her drink an energy drink.

Heather is
state high school champion
in the 800 meter.

She's the healthiest girl
I know.

Some girls Heather's age--
even though they appear
well-adjusted on the surface--

have things
that they do in private,
like cutting, purging.

- [ Nurse ] Okay?
- Not Heather.

How long have
you two been together?

We've known each other
since grade school.
Mm-hmm.

We've been dating
for the past six months.
Mm-hmm. Okay.

You say
that Heather doesn't drink.
But you found her with a bottle.

- Is it possible? Alcohol--
- She wasn't drinking, okay?

She was trying
to kill herself.

Yeah.

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Dr. Seagal to the pharmacy.

Heather,
I'm Dr. Gallagher.

I know you're in pain,
so we're gonna make this quick.

Heather,
do you feel like talking?

Do you want to
tell us what happened?

It was an accident.

I was having a drink
and lighting a cigarette,
and the bed caught on fire.

I'm really sorry.

Can I go home now?

[ Typing ]

Gary Masters will be here
in a few minutes.

I told Main Admitting
to page you when he got here.

Okay. Thanks.

What's he been told?

Uh, that a fire started
in his daughter's room.

She was slightly burned,
but she's stable.

Right.

Are any of those Becky?

No such luck.

- Who took those pictures?
- That private eye I hired.

Any progress?
[ Cell Phone Rings ]

No.
[ Cell Phone Beeps ]

[ Beeps ]

I'll see you later.

Doctor?
Hey, Doctor.

Am I gonna see you later?
I just had a case come in.
Can I call you?

Uh, not too late.
I've got surgery in the morning.
Sure.

[ Zan ]
Bye.

Mr. Masters?
Yeah.

Dr. Jack Gallagher.
Is Heather okay?

Yeah. She has a few minor burns.
They're a little painful,
but she's gonna be okay.

Can I see her?
Of course.
Follow me.

- Dad.
- It's okay, honey.

They said
you're gonna be okay.
I'm so sorry.

Don't even worry about it.

The only thing that matters now
is for you to get better.

Okay?
Okay.

Daddy's here.
It's okay.

It's okay.

[ Jack ]
Gary, I'm just
gonna spit this out.

We believe that Heather, uh--

she deliberately tried
to set herself on fire.

Has anything like that
ever happened before?

No. No!

Sh-She's popular,
beautiful.

All-- All the major colleges
are already coming after her.

She'll get a full scholarship
to any one of 'em. She has
her boyfriend, good grades.

What?

Her mom.

My wife committed suicide
when Heather was 10.

We-- Well, we sort of
fell apart after it happened.

But then things eventually
got back to normal.

Heather and I became closer
than we ever were before.

Can't be easy raising a--
raising a girl on your own.

But it was.
Right off the bat,
she was into sports.

Every weekend,
we'd spend it on the field.

Heather on the track,
me with the stopwatch.

She really got the goods.

Why didn't she say something?
Why didn't she tell me?

She's a teenager, Gary.

This is my fault.

Her last meet,
I pushed her too hard.

I had her training twice a day--
a 40-20-20 protein-to-carb diet.

Look. You know what? I'll bring
her home, take it easy,
scale back the training.

Well,

it's not quite that simple.

Whenever somebody tries
to commit suicide,

we're-- we're compelled by law
to keep them here
on a 72-hour hold.

But it won't ever happen again.
I'm telling you,
it was just the pressure.

Maybe.

Can you think of
anything else in her life
that might be troubling her?

No.

Track is her life.

[ Jack ]
She's insisting
it wasn't a suicide attempt.

- What's her father do?
- He's an auto mechanic.

And, uh, he's her coach--
or trainer.

Is this everything
the paramedics found
in her room?

Yeah. Listen.
If he's her trainer,
maybe he's pushing her too hard.

Maybe she's cracking
under the pressure
of competition.

- I've got a feeling
she might be in the closet.
- 'Cause she's an athlete?

- She's got
a pretty hot boyfriend.
- You ever seen those?

- No.
- Having a boyfriend
doesn't make you straight.

I've had boyfriends.
My gaydar is never wrong.
Almost never.

- Seen those?
- No.

It-- Besides, gay teenagers
are twice as likely to attempt
suicide as straight ones.

She tried
to set herself on fire.

It's not the death of choice
for a teenage girl
of any persuasion.

She's an athlete. How about
this? Abuse of anabolic steroids
can lead to psychosis.

Maybe she's on diet pills. She
could have an eating disorder.

Maybe she's pregnant.

Well, let's get
her blood work done.
Check those hormone levels.

Let's get these analyzed.

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Orderly to Room 16 West.
Orderly to Room 16 West.

That's impressive.

Do you ever
take a rest?
I'm fine.

[ Inhales, Exhales ]

[ Groans ]
You're the main doctor, right?

The one who told my dad
I can't leave?
You can leave.

Just as soon
as we make sure you're okay.

Look, I realize
it was a stupid thing to do.

[ Sighs ]
It's like my dad told you--
too much pressure.

It just got to me.
I understand.

You win a big race,
you go home,

you take a shower
in 151 proof rum and celebrate
by setting a match to yourself.

Sounds reasonable.

What do you want from me?
I don't have all the answers.

Pretty sure
you've got more than I do.

Well, what
do you want to hear?

I'm a teenager?
I'm upset a lot?
I have problems?

Okay. Let's start
with the problems.

What could they be?

Boyfriend? No.

He seems nice.

Schoolwork?
No. You seem very bright.

Your father said
you were very close to your mum.

You really gonna
ask me about that?

About how it felt to
come home one day and be told
your mother killed herself?

How the hell
do you think it felt?

I have no idea.
My mum's playing golf
in Florida.

- Is it difficult to talk about?
- You know,
I don't need this crap.

I just want to get
the hell out of this loony bin
and get back to the track.

I did it, okay?
But I'm not gonna
do anything like that again.

Might be worth a go.

Statistics say that, uh,

you'd be more successful
the second time.

[ Screaming ]

Heather,

let me help you.

You can't.

I don't think anyone can.

[ Beeps ]

Ladies.
Toxicology.

Hot off the presses.
Steroids.
Performance enhancers.

- Not exactly.
- High-dosage estrogen.

Estrogen?

Heather did say
she'd been taking vitamins
since she was a little girl.

Teenage girls have been known
to take estrogen
to make their breasts larger.

Starting as a child?

[ Dings ]

[ Zan ]
I think
the sun's coming up.

We don't have much time.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Chloe ]
So you didn't know
what you were taking?

Not a clue.
Dad's in charge
of the supplements.

Did you ask him
about the estrogen?

Not yet.
Are you on the pill?

Um, no. I, uh--
I haven't gotten my period yet.

My dad says
it's really common
for female athletes...

to get their periods late
because of
the muscle-to-body fat ratio.

Besides, I'm still a virgin.

Any pressure from Matt
to try to change that?

[ Chuckles ]
Of course. He's a guy.
But he respects me.

What does your dad think?

He doesn't control my life.

Just the workouts and diet.

He's just always
looking out for me.

You're lucky you have
such a good relationship
with your dad.

You don't?

When I was 15,
I came out to my parents.

My father was so understanding,
he threw me out of the house.

He said that I was evil,
a bad influence
on my brothers and sisters,

and that
I needed to repent.

So I took a bus
from Bakersfield
to San Francisco...

and wound up at
the gay and lesbian center.

That's where I met
my adoptive parents.
Two great guys.

Wow.

My dad would never throw me out,
no matter what I did.

That must have been so awful.

It was hard.
But not as hard
as living a lie.

I brought some things for her.
Heather won't want
to break training.

I see that.
That's okay.

Gary, I've got
a question for you.

Why is Heather taking
hormone supplements?

She have
a medical condition?

I guess I should've told you.
Heather's been under
a psychiatrist's care.

Really?
How long's she been
in treatment?

A while.

Look, I think
you should talk to him.

Is this anything to do
with your wife's death?

Just call him.

It's complicated.

Dr. Paul,
this is Jack Gallagher.

Jack, Dr. Paul is
a chair of psychiatry
at Harrison School of Medicine.

- Glad to meet you, Jack.
- Hey.

So, um, how's she doing?

Well, we were sort of hoping
you'd tell us.

Well, Heather's not
a regular patient of mine.

I've seen her occasionally
over the years
as a favor to her father.

He called yesterday
and asked me to resume
full treatment,

which I hope to do
as soon as you process her.

Dr. Paul is requesting
that Heather be released
into his care.

Obviously she's receiving
excellent care here.

It's just that
I've known Heather
almost all her life,

so I feel I'm in
the best position to help her...

since we've already established
a therapeutic relationship.

Sure. Yeah, any idea
why she tried to kill herself?

I wish I knew.

Can you tell me why
she's taking estrogen?

Heather's in therapy
for psychosexual
behavioral issues.

Don't know if you're familiar
with my work but--

A little.
Could you be
more specific?

I'm afraid I can't.
Not without
the family's permission.

And I'd really appreciate
your help in getting
the paperwork started.

Heather's here
on a 72-hour hold.

Heather's been through
a traumatic experience.

She needs to be at home
with her family...

and in therapy with someone
who knows and understands her.

Understands her,
but doesn't have a clue
why she set herself on fire.

Doctor.

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Nurse Estrada to Light Therapy.

Jack.
Hey. How's she doing?

Keeps asking to be
let out for a run.

Maybe that's exactly
what we should do.

[ Victoria ]
Australian Aborigines.

- Yolngu tribe
of Northern Australia.
- Mm-hmm.

Have you ever heard of
psychosexual flexibility?

No.

A theory suggesting
gender identity can be
created by environment.

No. Biology wins every time.
Nature versus nurture.

Yeah.
Not if you're Yolngu.

They raise all the kids as boys,
even the girls.

Give 'em a loincloth,
give 'em spears,
make 'em fight.

And they live that way
their whole lives.

- What's this got to do
with Heather?
- They were both studied...

and written about
in medical journals
by Dr. Timothy Paul.

[ Heather ]
Hey.

Hey, hey.

- Guess who I met today.
- Who?

Dr. Paul.

Oh.

- Told me you've known him
for most of your life.
- I guess.

- How often do you see him?
- Every couple months.

What for?

Checkups, exams--
the usual stuff. Can we
talk about something else?

What about
your regular doctor?
Pediatrician?

Nope.
Just Dr. Paul.

What kind of exams, Heather?

[ Shouting, Grunting ]

[ Crying ]

It's okay, Heather.
It's okay.

What do you see?
It's ugly!

I'm so ugly.

No, that's not true.
Yes, it is.

Even my mother thought so.

Why?
Why would you say that?

Before she died,

she couldn't even
stand to look at me.

There were always
tears in her eyes.

It's okay.

[ Whirring ]

Dr. Gallagher.
Is Heather okay?

What's this?

- Gary, uh, I know.
- Know what?

That your daughter, Heather,
is really your son.

[ Dings ]

A simple circumcision.

How many of them happen
all over the world every day?

What are the chances
the hospital screws up
and leaves your baby mutilated?

- How did Dr. Paul get involved?
- Dr. Paul came over
to the house...

with the attorney
from the hospital.

They offered us
a settlement.
Money.

Let me guess.
The free services of Dr. Paul?

He said our son would
go through life a cripple--
that Heather didn't have to.

And the hormones?

When she was eight,
I had to start
giving her those pills.

Estrogen, to stimulate
the secondary sex
characteristics.

I mean,
it's okay to be
a tomboy, right?

Sure.

Worked till now.

Gary, did she ever ask you
any questions... about sex?

All the time.
Basically, we lied to her.

My wife would come to bed
crying most nights.

She wanted to
tell Heather everything.

But Dr. Paul insisted
we shouldn't.

I think that's why
she killed herself.

She couldn't live
with the guilt anymore.

Knowing what we did,
unable to tell
Heather the truth.

When did you tell her?

I didn't.

[ Sighs ]

Well, your question
really refers to
sensory integration disorder.

But we'll pick that up.

A moment, Doctor.
Dr. Gallagher.

I'm about to begin a class.
I suggest you make
an appointment.

This is hardly convenient.

Would it be more convenient
if I dragged you out of here
on your ass?

Okay. I can see
you're upset.

Let me assure you, I had
every intention of discussing
the case with you as soon as I--

After your next article was
published. Journal of
Psychosexual Development, 1998.

"The Case of Henry M.,
Boy Raised as a Girl."

Newborns are psychosexual
blank slates.

Gender identity is acquired
through experience.

I was one of the first
to document this.

My study
was groundbreaking.

Putting a dress on a boy
doesn't make him a girl.
It makes him confused and angry.

It makes him wake up one morning
in the lock ward
of a mental facility.

Her.

My patient is female
in every significant way,
Doctor.

- Convince me.
- I don't have to convince you.

I have
the family's support, 100%.

That's a family
you destroyed.
Oh, for God sakes, Doctor.

Do you have any idea
how rare it is...

to study a surgically
reassigned child through
their entire development?

Sure, it's rare.
And it's useful for your career.

- When were you gonna tell her?
- Prior to the second surgery.

- What surgery?
- Replacement of
the cosmetic vulva...

with an artificial vagina.

This is over.

I don't think so, Doctor.
Heather is still my patient.

You try and contact that girl
or her father again,
and I'll put them in touch...

with a lawyer
that will burn you
in a very public disgrace!

In the meantime,
I will have your license.

[ Nora ]
What are the chances
of this happening?

One in 400,000 males
have anatomic anomalies that
result in female assignment.

I did some research.

- That's good work.
- So what now?

I think she deserves to know.

She's a minor.
It's for her father to decide.

[ Jack ]
I tried to convince him.

And that Doctor--
that so-called Doctor Paul--

he's got him brainwashed.

You're talking about
a clear breach
of medical ethics here.

How does Heather
fit into those ethics?

I think if we turn her loose
in her current state,

she's likely just
to become another
teenage suicide statistic.

I agree.

- [ Door Closes ]
- Nora, this girl's lost.

As your boss,
I'm advising you
to leave it alone.

As the mother
of a teenage daughter,

do what you feel is right.

** [ Acoustic Guitar ]

[ Knocking ]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Mmm.

- Time for a quick bite?
- I wish I could.

What's goin' on?

Oh, I was just sitting here
wondering how best
to deliver some, uh--

some devastating news
to a 16-year-old girl.

Mmm.

You know, I can't tell you
how many times
I've had to tell a family...

that even though
we got the tumor out,

their husband, their son,
their daughter will be blind,
or worse.

- How do you do it?
- Truth.

Mm-hmm.
Tell 'em we did everything
in our power, and we failed.

I tell 'em I'm sorry,
and I am.

Change of subject?
Yeah.

Okay.
[ Chuckles ]

So, I have
this time-share in Vail.

Amazing condo.

Ski in, ski out.

I don't know what
you're doing over Christmas,

but I'd have to
book it pretty soon.

[ Chuckles ]
Christmas?

I don't even know
what I'm doin' tomorrow.

Okay. Sure.

You know,
I really should, uh--

I should take
Heather out for a run.

Yeah.

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Door Opens ]
Call you later?

I usually do
about five or six miles.

You think
you can handle it?

[ Scoffs ]
Probably not.

Heather, something's
been bothering me.

Your reaction
when you looked in the mirror.

Can you tell me
what you saw?

Can you describe it for me?

[ Breathing Heavily ]

[ Woman's Voice ]
Look at him.
Whoo! Ooh!

God, that's ugly.

Keep 'em high. Keep 'em high.
Ten more seconds.

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

Heather.
Right now, what's happening?

They're laughing.

Why?
What are they laughing at?

It's me. I'm--

I'm inside out.
I'm not right.

It's okay.

[ Sniffles ]

I'm gonna tell you something--

something that--

something that
you should have been told
a long time ago.

I know why you're all messed up
and confused.

There's a reason why.

There's a reason why,
when you look in the mirror...

what you see isn't you.

When you were born--

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Dings ]

[ Snoring ]

- It wasn't a dream.
- No.

[ Knocking ]

Get out.

You told her.

All this time, you knew,
and you never said.

Dr. Paul said
that if we raised you as a boy,

you'd never be able
to have a normal life.
What?

Is this normal to you?

Why did you listen to him?
You were my parents!

We relied on Dr. Paul.
We thought we were lucky
that he took an interest in you.

So you just let him
turn me into a freak.

I wanted to protect you.
I never cared whether
you were a girl or a boy.

- You're my baby.
- You know what?
You're not my father!

Because a father
wouldn't do this to his kid.

- I hate you.
- Baby, please don't--

Get out.
You need to leave.
Baby, please.

Get out!
Get out!

Gary.

Gary, she had to know.
She was coming apart.

I should've told her myself,

but I didn't have the guts.

She's gone.

Just give her some time.

That's all she needs right now.

I think we both know better.

Guess I always knew
I was different.

[ Sighs ]
You probably know
all about how that feels.

There's no way to compare
what you're going through
and what I experienced.

I mean, like,
I always felt strange,

like in the shower rooms
with the other girls.

They'd talk about sex and stuff,
and what they were
going through.

When I went on my first date,
had my first kiss,

it was all wrong.

Have you ever
looked at yourself?
Really looked at yourself?

What?
Like with a hand mirror?

No. God, no.

It's way too embarrassing.
I hate looking at my body.

I'll be around.

How are you--
How are you doin'?

Not so good.

How's she doin'?

I don't know how we can
even consider releasing her.

She hasn't processed
what's happened to her.

What do you propose?

It's okay.
You can tell me.

Okay. When I was--

When I was born,

they, um--
they made a-- a mistake.

Who made a mistake?

The--
[ Exhales ]

The doctor...

who was...

circumcising me.

Wait. I-- I don't--

Circumcising?

She needs to know
what her choices are.

The female
reconstructive surgery
or the male surgery...

and transgender counseling
to transition back.

- You're right.
- There has to be something
we can do to help her.

Whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.

Look, what are you saying?

Hey. Let it play out.

Matt, I didn't know
until yesterday.

You're a guy? You--
Look, this is not my fault.
This is--

- You came on to me.
- No, Matt, I--

- No, don't touch me.
- Please, Matt!

[ Heather ]
He shouldn't have saved me.

Maybe he should have
left me there.

You really believe that?

[ Sighs ]
No. But he's probably
spread the word by now.

So forget school.
Forget friends.
Forget everything.

You're giving up?
Doesn't sound like you.

Me?

Who's that?

Chloe told me you scared
the crap out of Dr. Paul.

I wish I could have
been there to see it.

He's out of your life.

Thank you.

Heather, you don't
really have a reason...

to trust anyone
in my profession to--
to act in your best interest.

- Well, you guys have at least
been straight with me.
- [ Mouths Words ]

Well--

Is this the part where
you tell me how I should live
the rest of my life?

No.
[ Chuckles ]

No. This is the part where
I tell you that tonight...

we're gonna finish
what you started.

A rebirthing ceremony?

Metaphorically.
It's more like moving on,
shedding her skin.

Haven't people suffocated
during these ceremonies?

In cult settings,
with no medical supervision.
This won't be that.

Jack, you know,
half this country
already believes...

that psychiatry is
some sort of witch-doctoring,

and you want this hospital
to prove it to them?

She needs this, Nora.
She needs to put
the past behind her.

So you're assuring me
that this ceremony
is completely safe.

- Completely.
- Fine.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

Except that it involves fire.

Hey.

Every culture
has a rite of passage.

Child to adult.
Unmarried to married.

Entrance into a community,
for example.

Like a graduation ceremony.

Exactly.
Tonight we're here
to celebrate...

a spiritual passage
from the past to the present.

The Native Americans--
they believe that--

Well, they believe that
any violence done to the body
is also done to the spirit.

Your spirit...
needs to be repaired
and the damage healed.

And you've chosen fire
as the mechanism.

So tonight, we do too.

How'd you guys
get all this stuff?

From your father.
He kept 'em.

I want you to choose something
that, uh, you feel--

well, you feel like it
no longer represents you.

Something that might be
holding you back.

Then what?

Put it in the fire.

Burn what you want,
keep what you want.

You decide.

[ Flames Crackling ]

[ Sighs ]

I remember this.

I know he loves me.

He didn't want to hurt me.

Then that might be something
you want to keep.

How do you feel?

The same,

but different.

You are different.

It was just a campfire.

All we did was
burn things and talk.

It didn't really
change anything.
Well, that's up to you.

Ceremonies and rituals
have power, but...

only as much as you
want to give them.

Just tell me
you're not gonna
try anything like--

I'm past that.

Good.

Well, then,
you're on your way.

You sure you want me
to do this?
I'm sure.

I'm not Vidal Sassoon.

I trust you.

[ Beeps ]

[ Woman On P.A. ]
Nurse Estrada to Light Therapy.
Nurse Estrada to Light Therapy.

Hey, got a minute?
There's someone
I want you to meet.

- Wow.
- What do you think?

Looks great.

- So you've made your decision.
- No.

I just felt like maybe
I should see the world...

from another perspective
for a while before I do.

- Not a bad idea.
- Yeah.

All right.
What do you see?

I see me.

[ Knocking ]

Hey.
I was gonna call you.
Want to grab some lunch?

I need you to cut the crap.

Okay.
Now you lost me.

[ Stammering ]
I asked you
about a ski vacation.

- You acted like
I pulled out a ball and chain.
- I did?

- Sorry.
- A-About what?

That, uh, I asked,
or that you blew me off?

Both. I couldn't have
responded any differently.

Okay. Now I'm lost.

Jack, what is this?

Are we just sex buddies,
or is this something real?

You know, I need you
to tell me what you think...

the ground rules are for you,
and maybe I'll play,

maybe I won't.

Okay. There is something.

What? Do you have
some sort of disease?

- You have six months to live?
What?
- Worse. I have a sister.

[ Patting Couch ]

She's my twin.

She's schizophrenic.
She's wandering around
the streets of L.A. somewhere.

[ Sighs ]
Ever so often, she calls me.

She doesn't say anything,
but I know it's her.

So I'd love to go skiing
with you, but I can't.

I have to be here
in case she needs me.

We can spend Christmas here.

One fake fireplace.
Right.

Near the beach.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Dings ]

[ Child ]
Show's on!