Original subtitles

Company, halt!

Bring her out.

Let me go. I'm innocent. Let me goooo...

-By God, I'm innocent. -Blasphemy. You empty shell.

l'll get you no matter how cute and innocent you look. You can't fool me.

Forward march.

Let me go! I'm innocent! I'm not a witch.

She is a witch. She floats. She is guilty.

As l said, you are guilty. You will be judged.

-Would l be innocent if l sunk? -Yes.

-But then l would have drowned. -Yes, but your soul would be saved.

The court sentence the witch Marta Barbrosdotter...

...to deatch by burning on the stake.

May God save her soul.

Start the burning.

-Have mercy, I'm innocent. -No.

You must burn for your sins.

You must burn in front of the ones who exposed you, witch.

Just you wait, vicar, l'll be back for revenge even if it will take me...

The vicar called her a witch but she was as meek as a lamb.

Eveybody thought it was both a pity and a shame

Many cried and some cursed and there was talk on the town.

The vicar is the devil and he must be punished.

But as most of us know, time heal all wounds.

The leaves fall, death comes, time passes.

The next generation got a strange legacy.

The witches daughter become a devil and the vicars son a lamb.

The witches daughter became a devils whore.

The vicars son became timid and wellbehaved.

Nohting can get worse, not him, nore her.

The year is 1812 and there are war and revolution.

The Lustful Vicar

There're no young men left in the village, they're all conscripted.

As long as the war goes on the villagers lives in celibacy.

You should feel sory for the new vicar because...

...the witches daughter who seeks revenge lives in the same village.

-Good day. -Good day.

l am the new vicar in Fors.

-l will assume the position... -Yes.

But first l would like to meet my patron, countess H�ckert.

-Can you be so kind to annonce me? -The countess will be glad to see you.

Welcome.

My sister in Paris has sent me magnificent art and furniture.

As soon as the war is over we will modernize.

l have already alloted the funds.

l can show you around if you have finished your tea.

-Come on. -Thank you.

Have a seat.

My dear vicar...

Would you like to spend this wonderFul evening with me?

Spritually and lovingly.

l am so happy you are here.

Unfortunately, dear countess, due to the travel.

l have not had the time to prepare my sermon.

l must retire to my quarters.

The sooner l start preparing my sermon...

Vicar, promise me to take a tour of the village.

-Yes. -Until next time.

The vicar!

lt's the new vicar.

Hury up.

lt's him.

lt really is him.

l have waited a long time for this.

Look.

Good day. Good day, good day.

Dagmar and Greta, bring the luggage.

Birgit, you help them.

Lisa, take the horse to the stable.

Welcome, mr vicar.

l am Sibyll.

As the chairman of ''the sisters of mercy'' l welcome you.

Thank you.

-We'll help you in evey way. -Thank you.

Would you please select two girls as your servants of the girls outside.

And who do you represent, my child?

Those who are not ''sisters of mercy''.

Would you select two servants of the girls outside, please.

Oh, yes... of course.

-How nice. -l thought it was a bit damp.

-Yes, l see. -And the servant girls...

Oh, wow.

Here they all are.

l suggest Birgit.

Sh�s the first from the left.

A good and decent girl.

And Dagmar is good. Vey good.

No. Sanna and Agneta is much better.

The vicar might benefit from looking at something beautiful...

when you write your sermons.

Yes. Yes. You're right.

The sins approach the vicar from left and right.

He doesn't know it yet but h�s about to loose all control.

Foul play makes him hard, especially one body part.

Sanna.

Agneta.

And the woman...

The woman they brought him...

was not without sin.

No, she was full of sin.

Oh my God.

A little later.

We must not stop

to fight our temptations.

The sin who

sometimes

surround us completely.

Also in our daily lives

when we seem to be safe.

Please vicar, close your eyes, turn away

from the round shapes that makes you horny.

Pretend you don't see that the nymphs are naked.

Think of something else, turn your attention away.

Oh no, dear vicar, it's a shame

no matter where you turn the devil lure.

l am the one who sells wine, and l know the plot.

Upon the witches cunning face

you can se a cruel plan.

Didn't he fire you and pick that fat Sylfidia as servant girl?

Didn't he turn his back towards you and your pleasures?

lt's time to show a little more.

Lay down, Agneta.

What do you think, Sanna?

We better show more skin since he has such a hard time with women.

-Don't forget to wave the hat. -No no.

Oh my God!

-Greta, what's wrong? -l saw a naked man.

-What was he doing? -He ran towards the village.

Poor Greta is hallucinating.

l hope it will end when her fianc� returns.

-Were many people at the market? -Yes it was.

-What is it? -The vicar wants to talk to you.

-Where is he then? -At the cooper.

-The cooper? H�s at the market. -But not the barrels.

-Yes.. -He wants you to bring clothes.

Really? Ok, let's go then. Good bye.

Are you sure it was the vicar?

l don't understand this...

-But vicar, are you naked? -Give me the clothes.

-How will this end? -He must be crazy. Talking to a barrel.

Weird.

God bless the vicar, h�s hurt.

He gets massage from a woman, both front and back.

He has no real damage but the vicar lets her rub him.

lt turns into magic with awaken a special wand..

When the witch is done, we all feel sory for his... body.

Sylfidia.

-New bandages. -And water.

Water, Sylfidia.

lsn't it lucm we are here? Helping you in your need.

How did you manage to get this badly hurt?

Both your head and your body.

l have heard that you were naked when you got here.

l brought some oil.

Feel how good it feels.

Relax, vicar. Relax.

Worse things than this happened.

The one who got burned on the stake will cause chaos, just wait.

Here comes the mailman for the second time this year.

What will happen now?

When the witch is done, we'll feel sory for the vicars... body.

lt's the mailman. Maybe h�s got letters from my husband.

His holyness, the bishop of Domstad

hereby invites the vicar of Fors

to a visitation on wednesday the 5th of August 1812.

followed by a dinner party.

My God, that's tomorrow.

Oh dear. You better go to bed early. Sylfidia, you must prepare the cassock.

Next morning.

Vicar!?!? What's happened?

l really don't need to ask.

Sylfidia, oh my, and l am going to see the bishop.

This is no good.

lt isn't that bad.

Something must be done.

No breaMast then?

No. No, it must wait.

Something must be done so you can see the bishop. -Yes.

-lt would be too bad otherwise. -Yes.

-l would really like to help you vicar. -Yes.

l will help you vicar. l will help you vicar.

I'm so hot. Can l take the dress off?

Yes. Yes my child. If you are hot then...

l can't see anything wrong with that.

Sylfidia.

l wonder what to do.

That's it. There it is. Sylfidia.

Another great day.

Watch it, old man. Tell the vicar that l am the one who made him stiff.

-Made him what? -Look for yourself.

-Dear vicar, didn't it help? -No.

But l am soo satisfied.

lt must be witchcraft, Sylfidia.

lt's magic stiffness. Oh my, is it that bad?

l forgot to knock, please forgive me.

-But the girl there, wouldn't you be.. Simpleton.

l guess it didn't help since it was Barbro who used her magic.

You have to pray and work then... if you gonna meet the bishop today.

The devils work is often faught in vain.

Let's get Sibyll, she can organize help.

Good luck, vicar.

Do we agree about the chores?

l will move those chores around, just wait.

l must urgently see the vicar.

Didn't l tell you? The witchcraft is working.

Eveyghing is going as l planned.

l heard that you are ill, vicar.

lll? ILL?

The devil got me, today of all days. My future may depend on the meeting.

-And the bishops dinner party. -Cam down, vicar.

This matter can be taken care of with appropriate treatment.

-Oh, it doesn't go down. -No.

l know a lot of people that wished they had your problem.

Let us have a look.

Oh my!

l have seen a lot but this is extraordinay.

-This must be the working of the devil. -Yes, it's the devil. The devil.

This concerns ''the sisters of mercy''. We help in any need.

-l think there is only one way to help. -Yes, we know, vicar.

ln the fight against evil, no sacrifice is too much.

-No, no. Don't do that. -No false modesty, dear vicar.

We must approach it.

Can you give me the oil l brought, Sexton?

l think it can help.

-You must suffer a lot, vicar. -Yes, oh yes.

But what are you doing with my scarf?

Oh, take it off, my dear vicar.

lt's all for a good cause.

Oh, yes. Don't jerk it like that.

Use the buttonse.

Wait, l will do it myself. Oh, vicar. Not under my skirt.

What are you looking at, sexton? l am helping a man of God.

-Yes she is! - No time to waste if you wanna reach the visitation.

Why has Sibyll sent for me?

What are the vicar and Sibyll doing?

Oh, are they really?

The devil has made the vicar like this.

''The sisters of mercy'' are fighting the evil in evey way they can.

They are in a hury. His meeting with the bishop is at 3 �clock.

And l am going to help.

Yes, it's supposed so. All in good order.

l think you can begin to help now.

Come in.

You are so beautiful, my child.

Come closer. C-c-closer.

ls it market at L�vsj� tomorrow?

With this mess it won't be there the day after tomorrow.

Are you not packed yet? l want you out. You annoy me.

Can't you leave so we have some peace in the house?

l will leave. And peace will be.

What are you doing?

You wont starve in here. l will let you out when l get back.

You were planning something, I'm sure of it.

OPEN!

We must be able to get it down.

Not the two of us right now. We have gotten ours.

But there are more of sisters of mercy.

l have sent for mrs Paular. She should be here soon.

l got an idea, even if it seems impossible.

But we are running out of time, we must hury up.

Are you nuts? Why would l undo what took so much effert to do?

He is not going to see the bishop.

But think of us ''sisters of mercy'', we have worked hard to save the vicar.

lt seems that you enjoyed the work, you sanctimonious cow.

Be cautious or l do worse to you and your silly sisters.

Poor vicar. No relief yet.

lt's so hot.

We should give the vicar a glass of wine or two. And some supper.

We can ty tomorrow again after a good nights sleep.

Maybe it will be better when l sleep.

What do you think?

We'll bring Sanna and Agneta tomorrow.

Doesn't that damn vicar even show up for supper?

Not attending the visitation is one thing, but this is insulting.

Can you please take his seat.

Gentlemen, you are welcome to sit down.

lt's a big one.

The largest so far tonight.

Hands up! Get in!

Hury up!

Don't say a word, or I'll shoot.

Aren't you brave.

Escape from the army and commit more crimes to make sure they'll hang you?

lf they find you. Shoot!

-Are you hungy? -Yes.

-Don't think food is gonna.. -Gonna what?

Haven't you got it yet? You're my prisoner, l'm not yours.

-You mean l should... -You can stay until the war's over.

-You 'll have to pay, of course. -Pay? What am l going to pay you with?

l got no pay since l ran away. What would l pay you with?

l think you can pay me... If you mobilize your assets.

You don't want to get hanged, do you?

Early the following morning.

Honey.

lsn't it beautiful?

Are you hungy?

Yes.

What do you want? Pancakes?

Fried eel?

Pork in jelly?

Hury. Hide under the bed.

-Again? -Hury up!

Hide the food too.

Noo! Under the bed!

Just disappear!

Sanna!

Sanna, open up!

-We are waiting for you. -l can't, l don't feel well.

-You are a real bad girl. -What do you mean?

We always shared eveything as sisters, but l guess we don't do that anymore...

Oh, there he is.

Agneta, wait. l found him. You cannot have him.

Wait a second.

But only we know he's here.

We can't just share him, can we?

l know. We can have him one night each.

Yes, but what if he can't perForm evey night?

l know. l know!

Gustav, you can come out now.

We have a guest l would like you to know... really well.

lsn't he going to wake up soon?

Enjoy it while it lasts.

The sleep, l mean.

-Poor vicar. -He missed the bishops dinner party.

-We must ty harder today. -Yes, you are right.

We must bring Sanna and Agneta.

And where's Mrs Paular? She should come yesterday.

Can you bring the girls while l prepare breaMast?

Don't wake him until I'm back.

l promise.

Hury, or noone knows what will happen.

Please Sanna. Can you and Agneta help with the vicar. You're so good at it.

Dear Sulfidia, nothing would please us more than to assist our vicar.

But we already have enough, thanks to Barbro.

Hello! Are you Emma? Carlssons daughter? Hello!

Good day, mrs Paular.

Come here, dear.

You got to help me. l got locked in.

No, l mean the door just slammed shut.

l can't open it from the inside, you must help me.

-Go to the kitchen, l'll show you. -Ok.

Emma, you 'll get a penny if you unlock the door.

Two pennies.

-Emma, please answer me. -Where is the key?

l think it's on top of the molding.

Strange door.

There it is.

Please Emma, hury up!

-Can't you go through the window? -No, the entire village will see me.

-H�s got a broad back this one. -But nothing on the front side.

Especially not compared to the one in here.

Good, you're here. You can help with the pancakes and be backups.

Yes, we heard Anita talk about it, and since we are ''sisters of mercy''...

Sylfidia, don't go. I'm not even halfway done yet.

-Where is the eggs you should bring? -We forgot it in the haste.

-What haste? -We wanted to come as soon as possible.

They are right Sylfidia.

Go to the vicar and show your curtsey, begin with that...

-We are sisters of mercy. -Oh, yes.

What should we do?

Let us start by getting undressed.

Sylfidia, life must go on. That's the way it is.

Can you bring me some suger?

We need to eat if we are to beat the devil.

-Turn it counter-clockwise, my dear. -What do you mean?

The other way.

No, the other way around.

Emma, run outside and throw me the key.

We won't put up with Sibyls oppression.

She and her friend want to court the vicar.

What's she got that we don't?

-ls there an uprising? Sit down!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

We are here in our place, the ''the sisters of merc�s'' house.

-And you thank us by slandering us. -We don't slander.

-NO! We just want to know what you do at night in the vicars house.

That's none of your business.

But l assure you... you should ask Barbro wh�s behind it all.

Pish posh! l put the ladle in the bowl, but l didn't ask you to stir.

No, we don't slander.

Here's soup with saffron.

lt's good for ''that condition''.

My granny taught me.

-You're late, M�rta. - But now I'm here for God and the vicar.

ls he alone?

l hear our sisters.

Well, I'm going in.

-Go get the eggs. -Oh, the eggs.

But.. mrs Paular.

Oh, yes.

Dear vicar.

What's going on?

Ellinor?

What are you whispering?

lt's about the vicar, countess.

C'est comme ca.

That is outrageous!

l demand the hardest punishement possible for these criminals.

According to the canon law off course.

- Why can they have all the fun while we must work?- Damned!

Can l have more wine?

Report him to the bishop.

Good, you are on the right path now.

Cheers! Cheers!

Here are paper and pen.

To the bishop in Domstad.

-The vicar in Fors... -His holyness the bishop.

-His Holyness commits adultey. -Nooo! -Yes!

-The countess is here. -Girls, drop eveything. The countess is here.

Let's start singing and restore order.

-Good day. -Good day, countess.

l have heard some disturbing things regarding Sibyll.

You are the leader of the sisterhood. Is it true what they say?

Countess, it's not just about her, it's about her and 4 more sisters.

We must collaborate to defeat evil.

-We all want to join. -But they'll be punished.

Maybe it's not just the devil wh�s behind this?

-Give me their names. Sibyll, Alma, Berlack, Sylfidia, Anita, M�rta.

They're guided by lust and not by God.

We have written a letter to the bishop, demanding an inquiy.

Well done.

Take this to the bishop.

Good bye, countess.

Dear vicar, I'm vey sory, but these things happens to my husband aswell.

When he's been away, or l ask him to think of something exciting...

he does it within a couple of minutes. You must think of something pleasant.

Pious thoughts aren't helping here.

Thanks anyway. It was great to help even if it didn't work.

l consider this health care.

l am really not like that... Good bye then, vicar.

-Good day again, mrs Paular. -Good day, little Ebba.

-Do you want to play find the key? -Yes. l would love to.

Calm thoughts...

Not the palace...

Je t'aime.

Vicar! Vicar! Something horrible has happened.

The women in the village has written to the bishop about you.

The countess has signed the letter.

-This will be my undoing. -Please don't say that.

What is the meaning of this?

l don't know, your holyness. The countess sent me.

These are terrible accusations.

That's why he missed my dinner party.

And the visitation. This is outrageous.

You must go back. This is my order:

The vicar must come here now, even if you have to cary him.

Yes, Mr bishop.

Careful, careful!

Have you no shame?!?

Coming here like that after the reports that l got.

Well, l have a report from the women in Fors.

You are said to have carnal relations with several women.

Yes, your holyness. It's correct regarding Sibyll.

And Alma.

-Berlack, Anita, Sylfidia, M�rta and... -Alma, Berlack...

Stop stop stop! There are only six on my list.

Yes, your holyness. These women perFormed an act of mercy.

And how long has this blessed... cursed condition lasted?

Since early yesterday morning. Nothing has changed since then.

Uncover the devils work.

Oh my!

This has to be a work of the devil.

Cover it.

Vey interesting.

Highly unlikely, l would say.

A subterFuge, as far as l can tell.

No no. Stories about saints has many similar incidents.

Vicar, you mean that these women

has helped you with their bodies, day and night?

As written in the Vulgate about Susan, May Magdalene and the desciples.

-Luke, chapter 8, verse 2-3. -Yes, your holyness.

lt's been just like that.

lt has been a vey hard ordeal for me.

l do believe it is as you say, vicar.

But l do believe we should let a specialist examine you.

Maybe he can find a cure that is more in line with the church.

What if he gets well, that would be terrible.

-You said you were overly erotic? -Yes.

Temporarily since yesterday.

Now we are getting somewhere.

You suffer from, as far as l can tell that is,

saturiasis, that won't go down.

Professor. He thinks his condition is a work by the devil.

-Don't you? -Yes, yes.

That's a bold statement today, 1812, after the fall of Napoleon.

We must find a cure, no matter if it is the Devil or Venus.

The devil...

-Bartolomeus! -Yes, Mr professor.

No Italian injection. No French soup.

No, no, no.

We will ty the english de-sexificator.

H�s already sitting in it.

Hand me the instructions.

The instructions...

Here you are.

Lets see. No, no, no, no.

We don't need instructions for meatballs.

Yes, this is it. Three jugs of icecold...

No, no, wait. Lets put some up here aswell.

Stop the machine! Stop it!

My machine!

lt is gone! Yes, look!

Where did it go?

We are all going home in a parade, hey little girl, are you not glad?

Hey little girl, why are you so sad? The vicar is fine now, is he not?

Evey earthly delight, with joy and merriment.

Disappear so suddenly.

All gloy, riches and pleasures.

Enter!

My dear vicar. l am truly sory about all thats happened.

l didn't know that you suffered from saturiasis.

l am also a ''sister of mercy''.

My uncle suffer from the same thing. l understand perFectly.

lf you ever need me... l am at your service.

Whenever you want.

He stands at the square, as before. As usual l mean.

lf it was the professors treatment or the fire, we'll never know.

-But it is gone. -Yes, it's a shame.

That's the situation right now, but the witch still has more plans.

The vicar seems to think that the matter is over.

But many pains remain.

My beloved, sweet, wonderFul wife.

Forgive me, l thought that...

You scoundrel. Is it time to Iet me out now?

You let me sit here for nights and days.

-Now it's enough! -My dear, sweet, little M�rta.

How can l thank you vicar? It has been truly wonderFul.

-Til we meet again. -Au revoir, countess.

Bonjour sisters.

l brought some wine, l hope you will like it.

-Thank you. -Au revoir.

She was remarkably polite. -That bodes well.

Here we are, with food and wine.

Eveything is as it used to be, the vicars wood is gone.

The illness is cured at last, eveything is pretty boring now.

Was that really all, dear vicar.

l guess that's all.

Good night, Sylfidia. Sleep well.

The following morning.

He has risen!

He has risen!

He has risen.

-No? It's the same? -Yes.

But he is resting now.

The entire village is eager to see how this battle against evil will turn out.

l will wave a towel from the window if we succeed.

ls there no way... l must chop it off!

No, vicar! No!

-Please, vicar. Don't say like that. -You scare me to death.

-There must be another solution. -l think l know.

lt is all my fault.

l regret it.

l want to get rid of all my guilt.

Please forgive me.

All is forgiven.

We will help each other.

l think it's time. Is the floor clean?

-Why do you ask? -Let's put the cover on the floor.

A hard piece of wood need a hard floor.

Oh, that was easy.

Don't close your eyes, vicar.

Remain seated for half a minute. The ordeal is over.

The wood is gone too.

lt couldn't possibly remain.

But what the vicar has still noone can complain about!.

He makes love to his wife as best as he can.

lf he ever suffer from soft wood, the witch is there to help him out.

And that has a strange effect on his ability.

Eveything's normal, we all feel sory for the vicars... body.