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1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:04,020
LOOK, I GOT TO GET
TO HYANNIS
2
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:07,060
AND I'M A LITTLE SHORT
ON CASH. SO HOW ABOUT
WE MAKE A TRADE?
3
00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:08,560
FRESH-CAUGHT FISH
FOR A TICKET.
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,860
I'LL, UH,
GIVE YOU 4 HADDOCK.
5
00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:13,360
4 HADDOCK?
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
6
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,870
WHAT KIND OF
A BACKWOODS OPERATION
7
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:16,500
DO YOU THINK
WE'RE RUNNING HERE?
8
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,000
JOE, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
9
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000
THIS GUY WANTS
TO GIVE US 4 HADDOCK
FOR A ONE-WAY TO HYANNIS.
10
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:21,940
NO WAY.
11
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,940
6, AND NOT A HADDOCK LESS.
12
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:26,180
IT'S A DEAL.
13
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:27,180
THROW IN A BUCKET OF CLAMS,
14
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,280
AND I'LL UPGRADE YOU
TO FIRST CLASS.
15
00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:33,520
[seagulls cawing]
16
00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:43,450
[phone ringing]
17
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:47,960
[plane engine roaring]
18
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,800
[exclaims]
19
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,800
OH, ROY.
THANK GOD IT'S YOU.
20
00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:01,300
I THOUGHT ONE OF THOSE
BIG, SWEATY BEETLES
HAD LANDED ON MY LENS.
21
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,710
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LOWELL?
22
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:08,710
VIDEOTAPING THE AIRPORT
SO YOU CAN SEE
WHERE YOU USED TO WORK?
23
00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:11,210
NO. AMERICA'S
WACKIEST VIDEOS
24
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,220
IS OFFERING A
$100,000 PRIZE.
25
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,650
AND I JUST WANNA
BE READY IN CASE
ANYTHING WACKY HAPPENS.
26
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:20,160
SAY, ROY, HOW ABOUT
YOU LOOSEN YOUR BELT,
27
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,160
LET YOUR PANTS FALL DOWN
AROUND YOUR ANKLES,
28
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,660
AND DO THAT LITTLE
WADDLE OF YOURS?
29
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,600
HOW ABOUT
I TAKE OFF MY BELT
30
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,600
AND WRAP IT
AROUND YOUR NECK
31
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:33,000
AND TIGHTEN IT
TILL YOUR EYES BULGE OUT?
32
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,510
OH, IT'S A GOOD THOUGHT,
ROY, BUT THEY DID THAT
LAST WEEK WITH A CAT.
33
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,680
IS THERE A JOE HACKETT HERE?
34
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,180
I'M JOE HACKETT.
35
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,180
YOU KNOW, YOUR CAR IS PARKED
IN THE HANDICAPPED ZONE.
36
00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:47,680
OH, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
37
00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:49,690
I WOULD NEVER PARK IN A--
(Brian)
HEY, THANKS A LOT, JOE.
38
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:52,190
BY THE WAY,
YOU'RE A LITTLE LOW
ON GAS.
39
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:55,690
FINE. JUST
GIVE ME THE TICKET.
40
00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:58,530
HEY, HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT'S THIS FOR?
41
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:02,130
A CHARM BRACELET.
A LITTLE TOKEN OF AFFECTION
FROM THE CITY FATHERS.
42
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:04,130
OOH, NOW THIS
LOOKS PROMISING.
43
00:03:05,070 --> 00:03:06,070
BEAT IT.
44
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:08,240
THIS IS HOW
YOU GUYS HANDLE
A PARKING VIOLATION?
45
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,810
THIS IS HOW WE HANDLE
42 PARKING VIOLATIONS.
46
00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:13,310
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT--
EXCUSE ME, OFFICER,
47
00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,810
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE,
48
00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:16,810
BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU
THAT THIS MAN IS INNOCENT,
49
00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,320
WHOEVER HE IS.
50
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,220
CAN I HAVE
A MOMENT ALONE
WITH MY BROTHER?
51
00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:23,820
JOE? JOE, IS THAT YOU?
52
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:26,520
YOU'VE GOT 30 SECONDS.
DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY.
53
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,520
BUT IF YOU DO,
I'LL BE RIGHT OVER HERE.
54
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,030
SHE SAYS I HAVE
42 TICKETS, BRIAN.
55
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:36,030
CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, JOE.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 43,
56
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:38,230
BUT I DROVE OFF
WHILE THEY WERE WRITIN'
ONE OF 'EM.
57
00:03:38,230 --> 00:03:40,140
HEY, SUGAR BUNS,
MOVE IT ALONG.
58
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:42,140
SUGAR BUNS! HUH?
ISN'T THAT CUTE, JOE?
59
00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:44,140
SHE'S ALREADY GIVEN YOU
A PRISON NICKNAME.
60
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,480
ONE I SUGGEST YOU CHANGE,
BY THE WAY.
61
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:50,710
BRIAN...
RELAX, JOE, RELAX.
62
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:52,720
I WILL GET US OUT OF THIS.
HOW?
63
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,720
COME ON. SHE'S A WOMAN,
I'M ME.
64
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,120
FILL IN THE BLANKS.
65
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,420
I REALLY DON'T WANNA
GO TO PRISON, BRIAN.
66
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,300
UH, HI,
OFFICER...THOMAS.
67
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,300
BRIAN HACKETT.
68
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,660
[smacks lips]
69
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,570
YOU GOT A PROBLEM?
NO!
70
00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:12,570
[chuckling]
NO, NO PROBLEM.
71
00:04:12,570 --> 00:04:14,700
YOU'RE NEW TO THE ISLAND,
AREN'T YOU?
72
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,340
YEAH. SO?
73
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:19,840
I DON'T KNOW,
THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR ABOUT YOU.
74
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,350
MAYBE, IT'S THAT
ENCHANTING PERFUME
YOU'RE WEARING.
75
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:23,080
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
76
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,650
DEODORANT.
MMM!
77
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:27,150
BET IT'S FRENCH.
78
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:29,650
FRENCH... FRANCE.
THAT'S IT.
79
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:32,160
THE LINE OF YOUR CHEEKBONE
TAKES ME BACK
80
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,760
TO THAT AFTERNOON I SPENT
AT THE MUSEE D'ORSAY IN PARIS.
81
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,460
I WAS MESMERIZED
BY THE GRACEFUL BEAUTY
OF A GREEK GODDESS.
82
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,230
DOES ANYONE
EVER BUY THAT CRAP?
83
00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:43,630
YOU'D BE AMAZED.
84
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:47,470
LOOK, OFFICER--
LOOK, I--I'LL
MAKE YOU A DEAL.
85
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,770
IF I LET HIM GO,
WILL YOU JUST,
UH, SHUT UP?
86
00:04:49,770 --> 00:04:53,280
BY LETTING HIM GO,
DO YOU MEAN LETTING HIM
OUT OF THE HANDCUFFS
87
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,940
OR LETTING HIM
OUT OF THE TICKETS?
88
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:56,810
DON'T PUSH IT.
YOU'RE NOT THAT CUTE.
89
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:02,550
JUST PAY
THESE TICKETS
BY 5:00, ACE.
90
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:05,120
OH, BELIEVE ME,
SOMEONE WILL PAY.
91
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,090
THANK YOU, OFFICER THOMAS.
92
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:08,860
COLLEEN.
93
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:11,760
OH, OK. WELL, UH, THIS HAS
BEEN A REALLY INCREDIBLE
EXPERIENCE, COLLEEN.
94
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,100
WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT
AGAIN SOMETIME.
95
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,030
WHEN?
96
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:17,730
WHEN WHAT?
97
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:19,740
UH, I THINK
SHE MEANS "WHEN"
AS IN,
98
00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:21,240
WHEN ARE YOU TWO
GONNA GET TOGETHER?
99
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,740
YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE
ALWAYS SAY THAT,
100
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,240
AND THEY NEVER
ACTUALLY SET A TIME?
UH...
101
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,240
SO, WHEN, BRIAN?
102
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,250
UH, YOU KNOW,
W-WHENEVER.
103
00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:31,610
HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?
104
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,120
I FINISH TEACHING
MY MACE CLASS AT 8:00.
105
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,550
PERFECT.
OH, UH, I--I REALLY
HAVE A FLIGHT TONIGHT.
106
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:37,550
SORRY, NO CAN DO.
107
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,420
NO, NO, YOU CAN DO.
THAT'S MY FLIGHT.
108
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,120
YEAH, BUT DON'T YOU
REMEMBER THAT I PROMISED
TO TAKE IT FOR YOU?
109
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,560
NO.
110
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,960
UH, YOU 2 KIDS GO OUT,
HAVE A GOOD TIME.
111
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,400
DINNER,
MAYBE A DOUGHNUT.
112
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,640
[mumbling]
JOE, DON'T YOU REMEMBER
THAT I OWE YOU A FLIGHT?
113
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,640
BRIAN, AFTER
WHAT YOU JUST DID FOR ME,
CONSIDER THE SLATE CLEAN.
114
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,540
8:30. PICK ME UP
AT THE STATION.
115
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,040
BEFORE WE GO TO DINNER,
I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN
TO THE MORGUE
116
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,050
AND SHOW YOU THE CORPSE
WE PULLED OUT OF THE HARBOR.
117
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:06,480
HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME?
118
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,480
SHE IS ONE
SCARY WOMAN.
119
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,490
WELL, SHE'S A SCARY
WOMAN, YOU'RE YOU.
120
00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:12,320
FILL IN THE BLANKS.
121
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,800
[cutlery clinking]
122
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:30,070
LOWELL MATHER, I CATCH YOU
MESSING WITH ANYTHING
ON MY COUNTER AGAIN,
123
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:33,210
YOU'RE GONNA BE
PICKIN' YOUR NOSE
WITH YOUR FOOT.
124
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:36,210
I THINK YOU HAVE ME CONFUSED
WITH MY COUSIN BEVO.
125
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,620
DO I LOOK CONFUSED?
126
00:06:38,610 --> 00:06:40,120
NO, MA'AM.
127
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,620
BUT, UH, HELEN,
YOU MIGHT WANNA CHECK
THOSE CREAM DISPENSERS
128
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,630
TO MAKE SURE NOBODY PUT
ANY, UH, YOU KNOW,
129
00:06:49,630 --> 00:06:51,430
KAOPECTATE IN THEM
OR ANYTHING.
130
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:58,270
HEY, BRO.
131
00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:00,400
DID YOU HAVE FUN
ON YOUR DATE LAST NIGHT?
132
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,410
WELL, LET ME PUT IT
TO YOU THIS WAY:
133
00:07:02,410 --> 00:07:03,410
VIEWING THE CORPSE
IN THE MORGUE
134
00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:05,640
WAS THE HIGH POINT
OF THE EVENING.
135
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,710
WELL, STILL,
YOU GOT HOME PRETTY LATE.
DID, UH, DID ANYTHING HAPPEN?
136
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:11,610
YEAH, HACKETT.
DID YOU TWO, UH,
HOW DO THE POLICE SAY IT,
137
00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:13,120
"ASSUME THE POSITION"?
138
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:14,420
[groans]
139
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,190
CUT ME A LITTLE
SLACK, ROY, OK?
140
00:07:16,190 --> 00:07:17,950
NO. NO, NO,
IT'S A FAIR QUESTION.
141
00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:19,420
WAS THERE ANY
PHYSICAL CONTACT?
142
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:21,360
OH, YEAH, THERE WAS
PHYSICAL CONTACT, ALL RIGHT.
143
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,360
ON THE WAY
OUT OF THE RESTAURANT,
144
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,900
SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN
TO DEMONSTRATE A SELECTION
OF SUBMISSION HOLDS ON ME.
145
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,400
YEAH?
146
00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:34,740
EACH OF THEM
INVOLVED GRINDING HER HEEL
INTO THE SMALL OF MY BACK.
147
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:37,710
OH! SPIKED HEELS OR PUMPS?
148
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:39,710
THIS WAS THE WORST DATE
I EVER HAD.
149
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,710
BESIDES BEING BOTH
VIOLENT AND BORING,
150
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,710
IT VIOLATED MY RULE
OF NEVER GOIN' OUT
WITH ANYBODY
151
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,720
IN POLYESTER
STRETCH PANTS.
152
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,950
NO OFFENSE, ROY.
153
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,050
ANYWAY, IT'S
ALL OVER WITH
154
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:50,990
AND I'VE LEARNED
SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT.
155
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:53,560
YEAH. YOU SHOULD
PAY YOUR PARKING TICKETS
WHEN YOU GET 'EM.
156
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,560
NO, THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN
FROM NOW ON, BIG SHOT.
157
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,560
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
I'M PULLING YOUR FANNY
OUT OF THE FIRE.
158
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,570
FANNY ON FIRE? BOY,
A GUY LEAVES THE ROOM
FOR ONE MINUTE...
159
00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:08,140
WELL, THE UPSIDE IS,
NO WAY SHE'S EVER GONNA
WANT TO SEE ME EVER AGAIN.
160
00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,140
BRIAN, I ALMOST FORGOT.
161
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:12,880
THIS WAS DELIVERED
EARLIER FOR YOU.
162
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:13,880
(all)
AW!
163
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,880
WHAT? WHAT?
IT'S NOT NECESSARILY
FROM HER.
164
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,180
A TEDDY BEAR
DRESSED AS A POLICEMAN
COULD BE FROM ANYONE.
165
00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:21,180
[crying]
OH, GOD.
166
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,420
[Roy chuckling]
167
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,820
"DEAREST BRIAN,
HERE'S A WIDDLE
POWICE BEAR
168
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:29,190
FOR YOU TO CUDDLE WIF
TONIGHT."
169
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,130
NOT MUCH OF A SPELLER,
IS SHE?
170
00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,130
BOY, I'LL SAY.
ONE "D" IN "WIDDLE."
171
00:08:36,130 --> 00:08:37,800
[snorts]
172
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:38,800
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
173
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,300
I DON'T WANNA
GET INVOLVED
WITH A WOMAN
174
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,310
WITH A BRASS KNUCKLE
COLLECTION.
175
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,310
JEEZ, LOUISE.
176
00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:47,810
I SPEND A FORTUNE ON THOSE
976 NUMBERS TO GET
MY DREAM GAL, AND NOTHIN',
177
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,310
AND YOU WIND UP
WITH VENUS.
178
00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:53,820
I'M GONNA GO DOWN
TO THE STATION
RIGHT NOW,
179
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,520
AND I'M GONNA END
THIS THING WITH COLLEEN
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
180
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,990
IT'S TIME I STARTED
TO ACT LIKE A MAN.
181
00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,620
WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO?
182
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,630
I'M GONNA LEAVE THIS BEAR
WITH THE DESK SERGEANT
AND RUN LIKE HELL.
183
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:04,630
BRIAN.
OH!
184
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,900
HOW DID YOU LIKE MY GIFT?
UH...
185
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,400
UH, I WOVE MY WIDDLE FWIEND.
186
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:12,400
OUTSTANDING.
I WANTED TO DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
187
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,770
LAST NIGHT
WAS JUST SO WONDERFUL.
MMM.
188
00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:16,640
SO WILL I BE
SEEING YOU?
189
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,470
OH, HECK,
IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.
190
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,940
I'M SURE WE'LL BE
SEEIN' EACH OTHER
AROUND, YOU KNOW?
191
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,850
NO, I MEAN,
WILL I BE "SEEING" YOU?
192
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:25,820
DOESN'T NOW QUALIFY?
193
00:09:29,890 --> 00:09:31,890
I'M GETTING SOME
WEIRD VIBES HERE, BRIAN.
194
00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,530
YOU WEREN'T TOYING WITH ME
LAST NIGHT, WERE YOU?
195
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:41,100
I MEAN, THIS WASN'T
JUST ABOUT GETTING OUT
OF SOME TICKETS?
196
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,100
[sighing]
BECAUSE IF IT WAS,
I SWEAR...
197
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,970
NO, NO. COLLEEN!
198
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,270
[chuckles]
COLLEEN!
199
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:48,270
COLLIE, COLLIE,
COLLIE, NO.
200
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:52,140
SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 7
TO PROVINCETOWN
201
00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,540
IS NOW READY FOR BOARDING.
202
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880
AH, THERE IS MY FLIGHT.
GOT TO RUN.
203
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,380
YOU'LL CALL ME
WHEN YOU GET BACK?
204
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,880
UH, SURE, AS IF MY LIFE
DEPENDED ON IT.
205
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:02,420
IT DOESN'T, DOES IT?
206
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:15,970
[yawning]
207
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,970
FAY, DO I LOOK
AS BAD AS I FEEL?
208
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,040
I DON'T KNOW.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE
DEATH WARMED OVER?
209
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,740
YES, I DO.
210
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:25,010
YOU SEE, JOE? THAT WASN'T
SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT.
211
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:27,380
I JUST CAN'T
TAKE IT ANYMORE.
212
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,380
THIS IS THE 3RD
NIGHT IN A ROW.
213
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:32,880
COLLEEN KEEPS CALLING
AT ALL HOURS AND BRIAN
REFUSES TO TALK TO HER.
214
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,320
SO AS USUAL,
IT'S ME THAT HAS
TO ANSWER THE PHONE.
215
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,750
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LET IT RING?
216
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:41,220
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
OF COURSE YOU CAN.
217
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:43,660
[phone ringing]
NO, YOU CAN'T. YOU HAVE
TO ANSWER THE PHONE.
218
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,160
[phone continues ringing]
SAYS WHO?
219
00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,160
AREN'T YOU
GONNA ANSWER THAT?
NO.
220
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:54,670
[phone continues ringing]
221
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:57,910
AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
222
00:10:57,910 --> 00:10:58,910
[ringing continues]
FEEL THE FREEDOM, JOE,
223
00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:02,410
FEEL THE POWER
OF NOT ANSWERING
A RINGING PHONE.
224
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:04,410
[phone stops ringing]
225
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,350
NOW, DON'T YOU
FEEL BETTER?
NO!
226
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:07,850
OH, COME ON, JOE,
THINK ABOUT IT.
227
00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:09,350
HOW MANY PHONE CALLS
IN YOUR LIFE
228
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,290
HAVE BEEN SO IMPORTANT
THEY COULDN'T WAIT?
229
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:14,190
FAY, YOUR NEIGHBOR'S
BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU.
YOUR GARAGE IS ON FIRE.
230
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,690
OH, MY GOD.
231
00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,500
OH, MY GOD.
HI, FAY, NICE BLOUSE.
232
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,830
THANK YOU, IT'S NEW.
233
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:25,330
HEY, BRIAN. YOU HAVE GOT
TO END THIS THING
WITH COLLEEN TODAY.
234
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:26,340
LOOK--
NOW. THIS MINUTE!
235
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,140
JOE, RELAX, WILL YOU?
236
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:30,140
THE COLD-SHOULDER
STRATEGY IS IN EFFECT.
237
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:31,470
SHE'LL GET THE HINT
EVENTUALLY.
238
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,240
OH, BRIAN.
239
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,240
YOU SHOULDN'T TREAT
COLLEEN THAT WAY.
240
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,750
IT IS SUCH
THE TYPICAL GUTLESS GUY
WAY OF HANDLING THINGS.
241
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:43,220
RIGHT, RECOMMENDED BY
98 OUT OF 100 GUTLESS GUYS
AS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE.
242
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:46,320
HELEN'S RIGHT, BRIAN.
JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH.
243
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,360
THE TRUTH?
SHE'D RATHER HEAR ANYTHING
244
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,660
THAN HEAR THAT
HE DOESN'T LIKE HER.
NO, NO, NO.
245
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,160
YOU TELL HER
A LITTLE WHITE LIE.
246
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,230
THEREFORE,
SHE CAN WALK AWAY
WITH HER DIGNITY INTACT.
247
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,230
THE TRUTH.
248
00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,600
[snorting]
249
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,600
WELL, EXCUSE ME
FOR WANTING TO LIVE
IN A WORLD
250
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,970
WHERE PEOPLE DON'T LIE,
AND MAYBE ANSWER THE PHONE
ONCE IN A WHILE.
251
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,410
THANK YOU BOTH
FOR YOUR ADVICE,
252
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:06,910
BUT BELIEVE ME,
WHEN I GIVE A WOMAN
THE COLD SHOULDER,
253
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:07,910
SHE GETS THE MESSAGE.
254
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:09,710
BRIAN.
OH!
255
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:12,050
WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
RETURNING MY PHONE CALLS?
256
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:15,650
JOE, COLLEEN'S BEEN CALLING
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?
257
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:16,650
[tisking]
258
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,090
SO EVERYTHING'S OK?
259
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,860
AH, SURE, SURE.
260
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:25,290
OUTSTANDING, BECAUSE
TONIGHT IS COUPLES' NIGHT
AT THE PISTOL RANGE.
261
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,800
LOOK, UH, COLLEEN,
BEFORE WE GET AROUND
ANY LIVE AMMO,
262
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,130
I--I--I REALLY THINK
WE NEED TO TALK.
263
00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:31,630
ABOUT WHAT?
264
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,640
WELL...
265
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,510
UH, GOSH,
I--I REALLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY THIS.
266
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:41,110
[stuttering]
OK, LOOK,
I SORT OF HAD THIS
267
00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:45,110
ON-AGAIN, OFF-AGAIN
RELATIONSHIP
WITH THIS OTHER WOMAN.
268
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:46,920
NOT NEARLY
AS TOGETHER AS YOU.
269
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,190
ANYWAY, WHEN I MET HER,
270
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:53,290
IT WAS KIND OF OFF,
BUT NOW IT'S KIND OF--
CRAP.
271
00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:54,760
I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
272
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:57,690
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP.
273
00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:59,630
JUST LIKE PROBABLY
YOU'VE BEEN MAKING
EVERYTHING UP.
274
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,960
ALL RIGHT, NOW,
COLLEEN, I'M SHOCKED.
275
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,270
THEN WHO IS SHE?
276
00:13:03,770 --> 00:13:05,270
WHO IS SHE?
277
00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:07,270
WHO IS SHE?
278
00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:11,770
I'LL TELL YOU WHO SHE IS.
SHE'S HER.
279
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,560
OK, ROY.
WHEN I GIVE YOU
THE SIGNAL,
280
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,700
YOU START SHOOTING
AND I'LL WALK INTO THAT DOOR.
281
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:35,400
OK?
282
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,900
[chuckling]
OK.
283
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,910
DID YOU GET IT?
284
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,410
YEP, WE--
OH, NO, WAIT, DARN.
285
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:53,420
I PRESSED PLAY
INSTEAD OF RECORD.
286
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,750
WE--WE BETTER
TRY IT AGAIN.
287
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,720
OK. READY?
MMM.
288
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:04,660
[exhales]
289
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,130
DID YOU GET IT?
290
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:09,470
UM, IT WAS A LITTLE
OUT OF FOCUS. WE BETTER
DO IT ONE MORE TIME, HUH?
291
00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:11,730
OK.
292
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,600
READY?
293
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,410
[muttering]
DID YOU GET IT?
294
00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:24,910
IT WASN'T FRAMED
JUST RIGHT.
295
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:26,920
SO, UM,
WE SHOULD TRY ONE MORE.
296
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,680
I--I'LL GET HER
THIS TIME FOR SURE.
297
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,190
WHATEVER YOU SAY, TROY.
298
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:32,690
READY?
299
00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:36,990
YOU OK, LOWELL?
300
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:38,990
YES.
301
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:41,500
AND I'LL TAKE "POTPOURRI"
FOR $50, ALEX.
302
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:42,500
[phone ringing]
303
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,500
OH, THE DAILY DOUBLE.
304
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,800
WELL, JOE. YOU'RE LOOKING
MUCH BETTER THIS MORNING.
305
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,310
FINALLY GOT SOME SLEEP.
306
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,310
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT BRIAN DID,
307
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,680
BUT COLLEEN SEEMS
TO BE OUT OF OUR LIFE.
308
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,610
[crashing]
309
00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:59,180
WHAT'S WRONG?
310
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:00,180
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON,
311
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,850
BUT THAT POLICEWOMAN
WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE.
312
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:05,120
ON THE WAY TO WORK,
SHE STOPS ME 3 TIMES.
313
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,620
ONCE FOR HAVING
MY REGISTRATION STICKER
IN THE WRONG PLACE,
314
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:11,130
ONCE FOR NOT MAKING
A COMPLETE STOP
AT A STOP SIGN,
315
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:14,460
AND ONCE FOR GOING
A MEASLY 2 MILES
OVER THE SPEED LIMIT.
316
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:15,970
WELL,
317
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,070
DID YOU DO THOSE THINGS?
318
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:19,070
WHO ARE YOU,
DONNY OSMOND?
319
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,540
OF COURSE
I DID THOSE THINGS!
320
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,440
THAT'S NOT
THE POINT, JOE.
321
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,940
DOES ANYONE HERE
HAVE A BLACK JEEP LAREDO
322
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,940
WITH THE LICENSE PLATE
"CELLO"?
323
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:27,440
THAT'S MY JEEP.
324
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,950
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL
THAT'S MY JEEP!
325
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:30,950
[clears throat]
326
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:33,750
REMEMBER THAT
YOU STOPPED ME 3 TIMES
EARLIER TODAY?
327
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,250
OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER YOU.
328
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:36,490
[whimpers]
329
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,350
WHAT IS THIS FOR?
BROKEN TAILLIGHT.
330
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,860
NO, THAT CAN'T BE.
I LEFT MY JEEP
NOT 5 MINUTES AGO.
331
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,290
IT DID NOT HAVE
A BROKEN TAILLIGHT.
332
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:43,690
OH, GEE.
333
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:44,630
IT DOES NOW!
334
00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:48,560
HI, FAY.
BEAUTIFUL DAY,
ISN'T IT?
335
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,070
SUN'S OUT,
THE BIRDS ARE SINGING,
336
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:53,600
I DON'T HAVE A STILETTO HEEL
WEDGED BETWEEN MY VERTEBRAE.
337
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:57,340
BRIAN, YOU'RE A SWEET BOY,
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HALF OF WHAT YOU SAY.
338
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,840
HEY, BRIAN,
WHEN YOU SETTLED THINGS
WITH COLLEEN,
339
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,280
EXACTLY HOW DID YOU
SETTLE 'EM?
340
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,180
OH, I JUST TOOK HELEN'S ADVICE
AND I SIMPLY TOLD COLLEEN
341
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,080
A LITTLE WHITE LIE
TO SPARE HER FEELINGS.
342
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,750
WHAT KIND OF
LITTLE WHITE LIE?
343
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,550
I TOLD HER
HELEN WAS MY GIRLFRIEND.
344
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:11,690
[door banging]
DID YOU BOTHER
TELLING HELEN ABOUT THIS?
345
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:14,160
THAT PSYCHO
BROKE MY TAILLIGHT!
346
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,660
IT DIDN'T SEEM
TO INVOLVE HER.
347
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,660
WHAT HAVE I DONE
TO DESERVE THIS?
348
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:18,660
YOU HAVEN'T DONE
ANYTHING, HELEN.
349
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,160
BRIAN TOLD COLLEEN
THAT YOU WERE
HIS GIRLFRIEND.
350
00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,470
WHAT? YOU DID WHAT?
351
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:27,000
WELL, Y-YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO TOLD ME TO TELL HER
A LITTLE WHITE LIE.
352
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,840
YES. A LITTLE WHITE LIE--
(Colleen)
YO, MISS CHAPEL.
353
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,340
CHARMING LITTLE CAFE
YOU HAVE HERE.
354
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,840
I'LL HAVE TO RECOMMEND IT
TO THE HEALTH INSPECTOR.
355
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:35,810
THAT'S IT, BRIAN.
356
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:38,310
2 CAN PLAY THIS GAME.
357
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,950
EXCUSE ME, UH,
OFFICER THOMAS,
358
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:44,150
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR A LITTLE
GIRL-TO-GIRL TALK HERE.
359
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,650
YEAH?
360
00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:48,360
LOOK, I KNOW
WHEN I'M OVERMATCHED.
361
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,930
WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO SAY?
362
00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:52,690
I'M TRYING TO SAY
THAT I KNOW
ABOUT YOU AND BRIAN.
363
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,930
AND I KNOW...
364
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,730
[whispering loudly]
THAT HE'S GOT IT
BAD FOR YOU.
365
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
HE DOES?
OH, YES, HE DOES.
366
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,040
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
YOU CAN HAVE HIM.
367
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,470
HELEN, HELEN!
HE'S YOURS.
368
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,340
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
OH, YES, I DO.
369
00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,340
I FOUND OUT
ABOUT THOSE
RESERVATIONS.
370
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,580
WHAT RESERVATIONS?
YES, WHAT RESERVATIONS?
371
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:10,810
YOU KNOW,
THE ONES YOU MADE
372
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:13,210
AT THAT COZY LITTLE INN
IN VERMONT THIS WEEKEND?
373
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:14,480
(Helen)
SEE, I HATE THE WOODS.
374
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,390
SO I KNOW
HE WASN'T PLANNING
TO TAKE ME THERE.
375
00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:17,890
BUT I WAS. I WAS!
376
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:20,190
OH, BRIAN,
THIS IS WONDERFUL.
WHEN ARE WE LEAVING?
377
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:22,690
WELL, CHECK-IN IS AT 4:00,
SO IF YOU WANNA
CATCH THE FERRY--
378
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:25,290
OUTSTANDING!
I'LL JUST SWING BY MY PLACE
AND PICK UP A FEW THINGS.
379
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,300
OH, AND, HELEN,
FORGET ABOUT THAT TICKET.
380
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:28,800
I GOT WHAT I WANT.
381
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,200
OH, PACK A PINK NIGHTIE.
BRIAN LOVES PINK.
382
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,400
WELCOME TO THE
BIG LEAGUES, SPARKY.
383
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,510
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
384
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:48,020
IF SOMEONE WERE
TO JAM YOUR HEAD
IN A DISHWASHER,
385
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:51,520
WOULD YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTION
TO MY FILMING YOUR REAR END
HANGING OUT?
386
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,890
JUST TRYING TO MAKE
AMERICA LAUGH.
387
00:17:56,890 --> 00:17:58,190
OH, UH, LOWELL,
388
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,700
THAT FILE DRAWER
IN JOE'S OFFICE
CAME OFF ITS ROLLERS AGAIN.
389
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,160
UH, COULD YOU FIX IT?
390
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,670
YEAH, SURE, FAY.
MIGHT AS WELL.
391
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:07,670
NOTHING WACKY EVER
HAPPENS AROUND HERE.
392
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,170
[golf balls clattering]
393
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,170
HEY, MIKE.
394
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,920
WELL,
395
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,920
THAT FILE DRAWER'S FIXED.
396
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:30,930
I'M GONNA HEAD INTO TOWN
397
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:33,430
AND SEE IF ANYTHING WACKY
IS HAPPENING THERE.
398
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,070
COLLEEN'S DUE HERE
ANY SECOND.
399
00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,770
I JUST CAME
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
400
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:46,780
I'VE ENTERED MYSELF
INTO THE WITNESS
PROTECTION PROGRAM, JOE.
401
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:50,410
IF YOU NEED ME,
WIRE NILES UNDERWOOD,
ENID, OKLAHOMA.
402
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,910
GEE, NILES, UH,
403
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:54,320
IF YOU LEAVE NOW, YOU'LL MISS
YOUR WEEKEND IN VERMONT.
404
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,190
[laughing]
405
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:58,550
[scoffing]
YOU'RE GETTING A BIG KICK
OUT OF THIS, AREN'T YOU?
406
00:18:58,550 --> 00:18:59,850
YOU SAID I SHOULD
LAUGH MORE, BRIAN.
407
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:01,590
JOE, I AM DESPERATE!
408
00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:03,590
I'VE TRIED EVERY WEAPON
IN MY ARSENAL.
409
00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:07,130
I'VE TRIED CHARM,
DECEIT, AVOIDANCE,
CRASS MANIPULATION.
410
00:19:07,130 --> 00:19:09,730
ALL MY OLD FRIENDS
HAVE FAILED ME.
411
00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,730
I KNOW THIS IS, UH,
SORT OF A RADICAL IDEA,
412
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,600
BUT HOW ABOUT
TELLIN' HER THE TRUTH?
413
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,910
OH, SURE, JOE.
WHY DON'T I JUST STICK
A BULL'S-EYE ON MY PRIVATES?
414
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,480
BRIAN,
COLLEEN IS HERE,
415
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:21,980
AND SHE'S
WEARING LIPSTICK.
416
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:22,980
[groans]
417
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:26,720
OK.
418
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,650
OK, JOE.
I'LL TRY IT YOUR WAY.
419
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:30,950
BUT IF SHE KILLS ME,
420
00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,450
I'M GONNA COME BACK
FROM THE GRAVE
421
00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:33,960
AND MESS UP
YOUR SOCK DRAWER.
422
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,660
ALL SET?
423
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:41,660
UH, COLLEEN,
I THINK WE NEED
TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.
424
00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:45,670
BE GOOD TO HIM.
425
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:49,140
[sobbing]
426
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:50,570
[Helen guffawing]
427
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:56,040
COLLEEN, I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANNA SAY TO YOU.
428
00:19:57,950 --> 00:19:59,250
[laughing]
429
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,480
WHAT? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
430
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,990
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
PROPOSE TO ME, ARE YOU?
431
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:05,090
BECAUSE I HAD
THIS FUNNY PREMONITION.
432
00:20:05,090 --> 00:20:06,890
THAT IS FUNNY.
THEN IT'S TRUE.
433
00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:08,590
NO, IT'S JUST FUNNY.
LOOK, COLLEEN...
434
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,830
COLLEEN, THERE'S NOT
GONNA BE A WEEKEND TRIP.
435
00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:16,000
THERE'S NOT?
NO, THERE'S NOT.
436
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,000
OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP
HAS BEEN A SHAM,
437
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,500
I'VE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED
WITH HELEN,
438
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,500
AND THE ONLY REASON
I WENT OUT WITH YOU
IN THE FIRST PLACE
439
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,040
WAS TO KEEP MY BROTHER
FROM GETTING ARRESTED.
440
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,010
NOW, I'LL UNDERSTAND
IF YOU'RE UPSET!
441
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:27,410
BUT ALL I ASK
IS THAT YOU PLEASE...
442
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:28,910
DON'T MARK UP MY FACE.
443
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:33,410
OK.
444
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,920
"OK" AS IN "OK, YOU WON'T
MARK UP MY FACE,"
445
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,260
OR "OK" AS IN "OK,
IT'S ALL OK WITH YOU"?
446
00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:42,520
IT'S FINE WITH ME, BRIAN.
447
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,030
[exclaims in relief]
448
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,530
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
449
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:47,030
THAT'S GREAT. TO THINK I...
450
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,430
I WAS AFRAID OF
HOW YOU'D TAKE ALL THIS.
451
00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:52,700
WELL, THAT'S THAT, THEN.
452
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,470
I GUESS I'LL BE, UH,
SEEIN' YOU AROUND, HUH?
453
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,970
HMM. IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.
454
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:57,470
I'M SURE WE'LL BE BUMPING
INTO EACH OTHER.
YES.
455
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,980
EXCUSE ME, OFFICER, I...
456
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,980
[clears throat]
I'D LIKE TO TURN MYSELF IN.
457
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:10,190
I HAVE 200
UNPAID PARKING TICKETS.
458
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:12,750
WELL, THEN I'LL HAVE
TO TAKE YOU DOWN
TO THE STATION.
459
00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:14,760
I MIGHT BE A BAD BOY,
I MIGHT RESIST.
460
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,260
[whistling]
461
00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:24,270
MORNING, JOE.
MORNING, BRIAN.
462
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,270
WHERE ARE YOU?
463
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:29,270
I'M OUT HERE.
464
00:21:39,980 --> 00:21:41,480
IS THERE COFFEE
READY YET?
465
00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:44,690
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
466
00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:47,690
COLLEEN CAME BY LAST NIGHT
TO THANK ME FOR MY HONESTY.
467
00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:49,690
AND YOU KNOW, JOE,
468
00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:51,690
I'VE LEARNED SOMETHING
VERY IMPORTANT:
469
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:52,690
THAT THE TRUTH
470
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,200
IS A HARD PILL
TO SWALLOW.
471
00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:58,200
SO WAS THAT WAD OF COTTON
SHE STUFFED IN MY MOUTH.
472
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:01,540
HOW LONG
YOU BEEN UP THERE?
473
00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:03,040
OH, IT'S HARD TO TELL.
474
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:05,040
I'VE LOST CONSCIOUSNESS 3...
475
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,040
MAYBE 12 TIMES.
476
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,580
YEAH.
477
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:14,080
WELL, THANKS
ANYWAY, BRIAN,
478
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,580
BUT TO BE QUITE
HONEST WITH YOU,
479
00:22:15,580 --> 00:22:17,090
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU STAGED IT.
35675
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