All language subtitles for Californication S07E06 Kickoff

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,490 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:10,760 - I GOT THE PART! - CONGRATS. 3 00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:12,500 - YAY. - WAY TO GO. 4 00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,500 YOU DO REALIZE THAT RATH MIGHT HAVE 5 00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:16,100 CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS NOW, RIGHT? 6 00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:19,370 - ARE YOU SAYING HE EXPECTS ME TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM 7 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,470 OR GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB? 8 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,640 - SO WHO RECOMMENDED YOU? 9 00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,570 - STU BEGGS. - MY EX. 10 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:25,210 - HE SAID THAT YOU PROBABLY NEEDED THE WORK, 11 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,240 THAT YOUR HUSBAND ISN'T MUCH OF AN EARNER. 12 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,650 - I WAXED A HOOKER TODAY. 13 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,780 SHE WAS YOUNG AND CUTE AND TOTALLY DOWN TO FUCK. 14 00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:32,680 - REALLY? IS THIS WRONG? 15 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,180 I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE. 16 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:36,350 - DUDE, YOU--YOU GOT ME A FUCKING HOOKER? 17 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:38,090 OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 18 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,220 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT HAVING A FATHER WOULD BE LIKE. 19 00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:43,730 THE--THE CLIT'S ON TOP, RIGHT? - ANOTHER HAPPY CUSTOMER. 20 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,530 - YOU KNOW HOW YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER EVERYTHING, YOU SAID? 21 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,130 ARE YOU GONNA TELL HER ABOUT THIS? 22 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:50,500 - SHE WOULD BE TOTALLY PISSED. - HMM. GOOD TO KNOW. 23 00:00:50,530 --> 00:00:52,400 - WHAT ABOUT ME? I IMPULSE-REMARRIED 24 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,240 A DEPRAVED LUNATIC WHO CAN'T EVEN GET IT UP FOR ME. 25 00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:57,510 - I NEED A MANAGER WHO CARES ABOUT ME 26 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,610 AS MUCH AS ABOUT WHAT ME CAN DO FOR HIM. 27 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,410 - I DO, GOLDIE. - GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING SHOW. 28 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,810 - WHY? - RATH HUMILIATED ME. 29 00:01:04,850 --> 00:01:08,550 YOU'RE GETTING HARD RIGHT NOW, AREN'T YOU? 30 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,290 - WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? 31 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,860 - [retches] SORRY. 32 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:26,500 - KILLING BAD GUYS IS MY BUSINESS, 33 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:28,470 AND BUSINESS BE FUCKING CRACKIN'. 34 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:30,170 - HA HA. 35 00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:31,540 - ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M KILLING CRACKHEADS, 36 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:33,810 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - YEAH. 37 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,650 - SO DON'T Y'ALL WORRY ABOUT THE FUNNY. 38 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,650 THAT'S MY JOB. I BRING THE FUCKING FUNNY. 39 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,850 HERE'S WHAT'S NOT MY JOB-- 40 00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:44,190 DELIVERING ALL YOUR EXPOSITIONAL SHIT. 41 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:46,720 SAVE THAT YICKITY-YACK FOR THE GUEST STARS, ALL RIGHT? 42 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,490 NOW, DANKO'S COOL. HE'S COOL. 43 00:01:49,530 --> 00:01:51,660 ONLY TIME THAT NIGGA OPEN HIS MOUTH, HE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, 44 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,300 AND THAT SHIT BETTER BE WORTH SAYING, ALL RIGHT? 45 00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:56,530 NONE OF THAT NONSENSICAL COP JARGON Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS 46 00:01:56,570 --> 00:01:57,670 ALWAYS BE WRITING. 47 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:02,210 "WATCH OUT! GET DOWN! DAMN! 48 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,480 WHOO! NOW, THAT'S HOW YOU DRIVE!" 49 00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:08,180 I CAN SAY A WHOLE LOT WITH A LOOK. 50 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:11,480 PEEP. 51 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,720 - MM. - WOW. 52 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,220 - YEAH. - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, 53 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,690 BUT I THINK I JUST SHIT MY PANTS. 54 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,950 [laughter] 55 00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:19,620 - THAT'S NOT THE "SHIT MY PANTS" LOOK. 56 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:21,260 - OH, NO? 57 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,560 - THIS IS THE "SHIT MY PANTS" LOOK. 58 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,360 SLOW-MO. 59 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,470 - MM. - OH, WOW. 60 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,770 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 61 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,900 [indistinct chatter] 62 00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:36,610 - Y'ALL PEEP? Y'ALL FEEL THAT? 63 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,240 - WHOO! - OH, YEAH. 64 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,440 - OH, I FEEL IT. 65 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,910 IT'S LIKE AN ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSING IN MY ASSHOLE AREA. 66 00:02:41,950 --> 00:02:42,810 [laughter] 67 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,550 - YO, WHO'S THIS CAT? 68 00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,950 - HASHTAG BLACK, ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE OUR NEWEST WRITER, 69 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:50,350 HANK MOODY. - OH, HANK MOODY, THE RAPER. 70 00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:52,660 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. - YEP. THE ONE AND THE SAME. 71 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:53,820 - I'M A BIG FAN OF ALL YOUR WRONGDOINGS. 72 00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,230 - THANK YOU. - WELL, YOU USED TO WORK 73 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,730 SIDE BY SIDE WITH SAMURAI, HUH? 74 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,800 - HE WAS JUST "SAM" TO ME-- CALVIN, ACTUALLY. 75 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,500 - YEAH, HE SAID YOU WAS A COOL DUDE. 76 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:01,770 HE ALSO SAID YOU LIKE STICKING YOUR PEE-PEE 77 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,330 WHERE IT DON'T BELONG. 78 00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:04,700 - WELL, I LIKE TO THINK THAT DOESN'T DEFINE ME 79 00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:05,970 AS A HUMAN BEING. 80 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,600 I ALSO LIKE TO THINK THAT MY PEE-PEE BELONGS 81 00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,370 WHEREVER IT WINDS UP. 82 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,670 - OH, YEAH. 83 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,940 YOU GONNA BE MY GUY, MOODY. 84 00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,380 YOU GONNA BE MY SET BITCH. 85 00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:15,810 - OH, NO. - YOU COOL WITH THAT, RATH? 86 00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:17,350 - ABSOLUTELY. HASHTAG, WHATEVER YOU WANT. 87 00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:18,950 - I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF THE SET, PER SE. 88 00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:20,750 I-I FIND THE HOURS TO BE QUITE PUNISHING. 89 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,750 HAS ANYBODY GIVEN THOUGHT TO MAYBE STARTING LATER 90 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:24,950 OR SHORTER HOURS, PERHAPS? 91 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,760 - WHAT THE FUCK IS HE GOING ON ABOUT? 92 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,960 - FUCK IF I KNOW. - EXCUSE ME, HASHTAG, 93 00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:31,300 I'D LOVE TO PITCH YOU AN IDEA-- - AHH! YO, YO, YO. 94 00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:33,330 PITCHES HURT MY EARS, ESPECIALLY PITCHES FROM BITCHES. 95 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,400 NO OFFENSE-- Y'ALL GOT THE TENDENCY 96 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:36,970 OF USING TOO MANY WORDS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 97 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,870 WHY USE ONE WORD WHEN YOU CAN USE TEN, RIGHT? 98 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,710 - YEAH. [laughs] THAT'S FUNNY. 99 00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,370 ACTUALLY, I CAN BE QUITE BRIEF. - GOLDIE! 100 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:45,480 THE MAN DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR PITCH RIGHT NOW. 101 00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,780 - YO, PEACE, WRITER PEOPLES. 102 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:48,950 - LET ME WALK YOU OUT, HASHTAG. 103 00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:50,510 - LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU. - HASHTAG. 104 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:53,320 - KICKOFF PARTY TONIGHT AT MY PLACE--BE THERE. 105 00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:55,590 BEHAVE YOURSELVES, DON'T BREAK ANYTHING, 106 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,950 AND NO FUCKING IN MY POOL... 107 00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,990 TERRY. [laughter] 108 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,720 - HEY, DOES ANYBODY ELSE WANT TO BE SET BITCH? 109 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,460 SET--SET BITCHES? SET BITCH? - NO. 110 00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:04,790 - SET BITCH? TERRY, I'LL ARM-WRESTLE YOU FOR IT. 111 00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:07,030 COME ON. - NO. 112 00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:10,030 [upbeat music] 113 00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:18,040 * 114 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,950 - HOLY TV MONEY, BATMAN. 115 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:06,790 - YEAH, LOOK AT THAT--THE HOUSE THAT UTTER MEDIOCRITY BUILT. 116 00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:09,060 - IT'S INSPIRING, HANK. 117 00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:12,460 I'VE NEVER FELT MORE DETERMINED TO SIGN TV-WRITER CLIENTS. 118 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:15,060 - DO NOT SHIT WHERE I EAT, CHARLIE--IT'S UNSANITARY. 119 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,600 OH, GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS, 24-HOUR PARTY PEOPLE. 120 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,670 - MOM, TH--THIS IS THE GUY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT, 121 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:21,870 THE ONE WHO CAME IN HIS PANTS. 122 00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,940 - NICE TO MEET YOU. CHARLIE RUNKLE. 123 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:26,780 - NICE TO MEET YOU. - I'M HANK'S MANAGER 124 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,750 AND HETEROSEXUAL LIFE MATE. 125 00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:29,780 NICE TO MEET YOU. 126 00:05:29,810 --> 00:05:31,820 YOU MUST BE THE LOVELY JULIA. 127 00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:33,420 NUMBER ONE ON THE BABY MAMA CALL SHEET. 128 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,980 - LEVON SAYS GREAT THINGS ABOUT YOU. 129 00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:37,450 - NOT REALLY, LIKE, AT ALL, EVER. 130 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:39,690 SO, DAD, WHAT DO YOU THINK? WE GONNA SEE SOME BIG TITS 131 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,790 AND ROUND ASSES UP IN HERE TONIGHT? 132 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:42,990 - HONEY, I'M NOT AFRAID TO PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN 133 00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:44,430 AND SPANK YOUR BARE ASS 134 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,960 IN A ROOM FULL OF STRANGERS, YOU KNOW? 135 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,530 - I KNOW YOU'RE NOT, MOM. I'M SORRY. 136 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,970 - ALL RIGHT, GO INSIDE AND BEHAVE YOURSELF. 137 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,500 - OKAY. - I'M GONNA TALK TO YOUR DAD. 138 00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,170 - COME ON, KID, LET'S CHECK OUT THE TALENT. 139 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,770 - YOU'RE NOT GONNA WALK IN THERE PITCHING A TENT, ARE YOU? 140 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,810 - BEHAVE. - OKAY. 141 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,410 - WHAT'S UP? 142 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,880 - DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING WEIRD ABOUT LEVON? 143 00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:02,150 - HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY TELL? 144 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:05,550 - HE SEEMS DIFFERENT-- MORE RELAXED, CONFIDENT. 145 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:07,820 - THAT'S A BAD THING? - NO, IT'S GREAT. 146 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,120 I JUST--I'M NOT USED TO IT. 147 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,890 - WELL, MAYBE HAVING A JOB 148 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,720 HAS DONE WONDERS FOR THE YOUNG MAN'S PSYCHE. 149 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,020 - OR MAYBE KNOWING HIS DAD, WHO'S ACTUALLY PROVING TO BE 150 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,590 SOMETHING OF A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL. 151 00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:19,730 - I-I DON'T THINK THAT COULD BE IT, DO YOU? 152 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,670 [laughs] 153 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,130 - WOW. NICE HOUSE. 154 00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:26,570 - YEAH. ONE DAY, ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. 155 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,040 MRS. JULIA RATH-- HAS A NICE RING TO IT. 156 00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:30,440 - OH, IT'S JUST ONE DATE. 157 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:32,140 - HOPE HE WASN'T TOO "HANDSY." 158 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,840 - NO, HE WAS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN. 159 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,510 ACTUALLY, TOO PERFECT, YOU KNOW? 160 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:37,780 'CAUSE SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT A GUY TO, LIKE--[grunts] 161 00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:40,950 - WHAT? WHAT? YOU WANT A GUY TO WHAT? 162 00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,750 MY SCHWEEN IS HANGING ON YOUR EVERY WORD. 163 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:45,590 THERE'S A POTENTIAL ERECTION HANGING IN THE BALANCE HERE. 164 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:46,990 WHAT? NOTHING. 165 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,490 - I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A PARTY IN SO LONG, 166 00:06:48,530 --> 00:06:50,230 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. 167 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,460 - WELL, IT'S LIKE RIDING A BIKE. YOU JUST HAVE A DRINK OR TEN 168 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,160 AND THEN HOPE YOU DON'T WAKE UP WITH A TATTOO 169 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,670 OR A BLOODY ASSHOLE OR BOTH. 170 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,540 SHALL WE? - [laughs] 171 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:02,510 [electronic music] 172 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:06,540 [indistinct chatter] 173 00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,050 GET ME A REFILL. - OH. 174 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,780 I LIKE WHEN YOU ORDER ME AROUND. 175 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:14,520 I'M--I'M SERIOUS. I DO. 176 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,490 STU, NIKKI, HOW'S IT HANGING? - HANK, HOW ARE YOU? 177 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,920 - HEY, BUDDY. - HOW'S THE KID? 178 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,930 - STILL BASKING IN THE AFTERGLOW. 179 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,490 - UH, YOU TWO GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER? 180 00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:26,800 - SHE RELIEVED MY SON OF HIS VIRGINITY. 181 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:29,700 - WORLD CLASS, DUDE. 182 00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:32,670 I WISH MY POPS WOULD'VE POPPED MY CHERRY LIKE THAT. 183 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:35,710 INSTEAD, HE SAT ME DOWN AND GAVE ME A COPY OF PLAYBOY 184 00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:38,110 AND TOLD ME BOTH MEN AND WOMEN HAD NIPPLES. 185 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:40,540 - [groans] CAN--CAN WE KEEP THE WHOLE 186 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:42,710 LEVON/HOOKER THING ON THE D.L.? 187 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,550 HIS MOM IS HERE, AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 188 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,820 - OH, I AM NOTHING IF NOT DISCREET. 189 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:50,550 - OH, NOW, THAT IS TRUE. SHE IS AMAZING. 190 00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:52,660 SHE LETS ME DO THE KINKIEST STUFF TO HER, 191 00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:54,190 AND SHE NEVER TELLS A SOUL. 192 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:56,030 - AW, YOU ARE SO CUTE. [laughs] 193 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:57,690 - SOUNDS LIKE A KEEPER. 194 00:07:57,730 --> 00:07:59,130 - YEAH, AND SHE LOOKS LIKE MARCY, RIGHT? 195 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,800 - YO, MOODY. - HEY, HASHTAG. 196 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:03,300 - HOW YOU BE, BRO? - I BE GOOD. 197 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,130 - HASHTAG. - BIG DICK BEGGS! 198 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:08,170 - HASHTAG. [both grunting] 199 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,140 - YO, THEY SAY HE GOT A BIG DICK, THOUGH, RIGHT? 200 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:11,640 - YEAH. - HE'S CRAZY. 201 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,680 YO, STU, I GOT TO TALK TO MOODY OVER HERE. 202 00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,680 - WHATEVER. - AH. 203 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:15,980 [indistinct chatter] 204 00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:17,250 - YO, MOODY, I GOT TO LEVEL WITH YOU, MAN. 205 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,780 RATH IS FUCKING MY SHIT UP. 206 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,180 - ALL RIGHT, THAT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING 207 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,220 YOU SHOULD BRING UP WITH RATH. 208 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,990 - MOTHERFUCKER'S TOO STUBBORN TO HEAR MY WORDS. 209 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:25,890 HE'S ALL ABOUT THE DRAMA. I'M ALL ABOUT THE FUCKING FUNNY. 210 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,760 HE WANTS TO DO THE WIRE. 211 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:29,130 I'M TRYING TO DO 48 HOURS FOR A NEW GENERATION, YOU HEAR ME? 212 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,790 - MM-HMM. - ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 213 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:32,930 I NEED YOU TO HELP ME OUT LIKE YOU HELPED SAMURAI OUT. 214 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,060 WE CAN DO A MODERN-DAY ACTION-COMEDY, 215 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,730 EMPHASIS ON THE COMEDY. 216 00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:38,970 - I'M NOT REALLY IN A POSITION TO DO THAT, HASHTAG. 217 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,270 AND I'M--I'M NOT THAT FUNNY. 218 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,710 - YEAH, BUT YOU'S FUCKING WITTY, RIGHT? 219 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,810 AND I'M FUCKING FUNNY. - YOU ARE FUCKING FUNNY. 220 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,210 - TOGETHER WE CAN-- DAMN, WHO'S THAT PIECE OF ASS? 221 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,950 - THAT? THAT WOULD BE JULIA. 222 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,880 SHE'S GOT A SMALL PART ON THE SHOW AS A SQUAD SECRETARY. 223 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,680 YOU'RE GONNA BE DOING SOME SCENES WITH HER. 224 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,280 - OH, I'M DOING SCENES WITH HER, ALL RIGHT. 225 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,020 I'M DOING SCENES WITH HER RIGHT NOW UP IN HERE. 226 00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:59,160 - AH, SHE'S ALSO THE MOTHER OF MY SON. 227 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,260 - OH! OH, OH, OKAY. - MM-HMM. 228 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,630 - YOU'RE NOT TOGETHER? - NO, NOT CURRENTLY. 229 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,730 - MM. SO YOU AIN'T CRUSHING THAT ASS? 230 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,200 - NOT--NOT--NOT AT THE PRESENT-- LIKE, 20 YEARS AGO, 231 00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:09,900 AND EVEN THEN, I-I WASN'T SO MUCH CRUSHING IT 232 00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:11,270 AS ADMIRING IT. 233 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,900 I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOO ROUGH WITH THE ASS. 234 00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:15,100 - OH, I LIKE TO DESTROY THAT SHIT. 235 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,640 MM. I WANT TO MURDER THAT ASS. 236 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:19,040 - I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, HASHTAG, 237 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,380 BUT YOUR LANGUAGE IS SO AGGRESSIVE. 238 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:22,310 YOU SEE, IF-- IF YOU MURDER THE ASS, 239 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:23,950 THEN THERE'S NO ASS LEFT TO ENJOY. 240 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,720 - WELL, SEE, THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, MOODY. 241 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,220 YOU KNOW, YOU GOTTA MURDER THAT ASS 242 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,820 SO NO OTHER MOTHERFUCKER CAN ENJOY THAT ASS, RIGHT? 243 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,050 - NO. 244 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,190 - IT'S LIKE A METAPHORICAL MURDER. 245 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,360 - OH, I-- - YEAH, YOU FEEL ME? 246 00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:33,860 - I DO FEEL YOU. I FEEL YOU. - COOL. 247 00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,220 YOU SEE THAT? - YEAH. 248 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,990 - I'MA GO SEE IF I CAN TURN THIS BITCH OUT. 249 00:09:37,030 --> 00:09:38,230 I'MA CATCH YOU LATER. 250 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,760 THINK ABOUT MY WORDS-- HASHTAG WORDS. 251 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,370 - MM-HMM. THOUGHT ABOUT 'EM. THOUGHT ABOUT 'EM. 252 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,930 - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT? 253 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,270 - IT SEEMS YOUR NUMBER ONE 254 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,770 IS WARM FOR YOUR NUMBER 16'S FORM. 255 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:50,810 AND HE DOESN'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE WRITING HIM. 256 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,940 - SO IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO FIGHT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER 257 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:56,250 OVER EXPOSITORY DIALOGUE, NOW HE FEELS ENTITLED TO MY WOMAN? 258 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,110 - OH, SHE'S YOUR WOMAN NOW? 259 00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:00,350 - COME ON, CUT ME SOME SLACK, ALL RIGHT? 260 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:03,150 I'M A LITTLE HEATED UP. SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME? 261 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,890 - WELL, SHE SAID YOU WERE THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN. 262 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,690 - GOOD, GOOD. - YEAH. 263 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,290 - I'M TRYING, YOU KNOW? USUALLY I'M A FUCKING ASSHOLE. 264 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,090 - YEAH. 265 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,730 - TRYING TO TAKE IT EASY WITH HER. 266 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,300 - RIGHT. BUT SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO... 267 00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:13,230 - WHAT? 268 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,230 - WELL, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO-- 269 00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:17,270 - SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO WHAT? - YOU KNOW. 270 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,840 - SHIT, HERE COMES SHREK. 271 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,370 - THAT'S MY SON YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT--SHREK. 272 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,170 - I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? I'M ALL WORKED UP. 273 00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:23,840 I GOT TO HEAD THIS SHIT OFF AT THE PASS. 274 00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:25,010 - ALL RIGHT. 275 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,740 - GUESS WHAT. - WAIT. 276 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:29,380 YOU WERE BORN A PAUPER TO A PAWN ON A CHRISTMAS DAY, 277 00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:30,850 WHEN THE NEW YORK TIMES SAID 278 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,280 GOD IS DEAD, AND THE WAR'S BEGUN. 279 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,880 - SHUT UP. COME ON, I HATE THAT. 280 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,120 NIKKI'S HERE. - I KNOW. SHE'S WITH STU BEGGS. 281 00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:37,250 - CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY? 282 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:40,720 - OH, SO LEVON DOES LIKE HIS MONEY. WHY? 283 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,730 - I WANT TO BONE HER AGAIN. - SHE'S WITH STU. 284 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,230 - SO WHAT? SHE CAN'T SPARE A FEW MINUTES 285 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:46,860 FOR SOME REPEAT BUSINESS? - YOUR MOM IS HERE. 286 00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,430 - SO? THERE'S A TON OF ROOMS IN THIS PLACE. 287 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,000 - AND IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE. 288 00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:51,940 - OKAY, I'LL PAY YOU BACK. - NO, YOU WON'T. 289 00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:53,940 - GOD DAMN IT, I'M REALLY PISSED AT YOU RIGHT NOW. 290 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,740 - I'M A LITTLE PISSED AT YOU RIGHT NOW. 291 00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:57,370 - [sighs] THAT FEELING IS BACK, YOU KNOW, 292 00:10:57,410 --> 00:10:59,340 LIKE I-I GOT TO FUCK SOMETHING. - OKAY. 293 00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:01,380 - I NEED A RELEASE. - LOOK, I UNDERSTAND. 294 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,250 JUST--JUST TRY TO FIND A NICE, QUIET BATHROOM 295 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,180 AND GO BEAT OFF-- YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER. 296 00:11:05,210 --> 00:11:06,350 JUST MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN UP AFTERWARDS 297 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,080 AND WASH YOUR HANDS, ALL RIGHT? 298 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,450 - YEAH, BUT NOW THAT I GOT MY DICK WET, 299 00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:11,760 BEATING OFF JUST SEEMS KIND OF LAME, YOU KNOW? 300 00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:12,990 - YES, I GET THAT. 301 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,390 BUT MASTURBATION IS STILL GONNA BE A HUGE PART OF YOUR LIFE. 302 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:17,330 EVEN THOUGH YOU GOT LAID, GIRLS AREN'T JUST GONNA 303 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,360 AUTOMATICALLY START HURLING THEMSELVES AT YOU. 304 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,360 - I SHOULD'VE JUST STAYED A FUCKING VIRGIN. 305 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,230 IT WOULD'VE BEEN A LOT BETTER NOT HAVING A GLIMPSE 306 00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:26,140 OF THE PROMISED LAND. - GOOD TALK. 307 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,440 - AH. 308 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,880 ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BE... DRINKING? 309 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:37,050 - I'M NOT ALLERGIC TO VODKA, ASSHOLE. 310 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,250 - SORRY. WHO WOULD KNOW? 311 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,180 - YOU KNOW WHAT I AM ALLERGIC TO? 312 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,950 SEMEN. - OH, REALLY? 313 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,250 - YEAH, CAN'T SPIT OR SWALLOW. 314 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,960 TOTALLY BURNS THE BACK OF MY THROAT. 315 00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:48,320 ONE TIME I TOOK ONE UP TOP. 316 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,990 FUCKING BROKE OUT IN HIVES AND BLOTCHES. 317 00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,930 BLOWING A LOAD ON ME IS LIKE THROWING HOLY WATER 318 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,160 ON LINDA BLAIR. 319 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,930 [both laughing] 320 00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:59,240 - WHAT UP? 321 00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:01,810 - I'M SO FUCKING PISSED AT RATH RIGHT NOW. 322 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,070 - OH, WHY? 323 00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:05,010 - HE LET HASHTAG CALL ME A BITCH TODAY. 324 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,110 - THAT DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE RATH'S STYLE. 325 00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,810 - WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HIS SIDE? 326 00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:12,220 - I'M NOT TAKING HIS SIDE. GOLDIE, COOLER HEADS, HMM? 327 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,350 COOLER HEADS. 328 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,850 - FIRST, HE REWRITES ME, 329 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,550 THEN HE HUMILIATES ME IN FRONT OF HASHTAG. 330 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:19,160 I MEAN, HE--HE'S TRYING TO SEND ME A MESSAGE, CHARLIE. 331 00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:20,960 HE'S OUT TO GET ME. 332 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,360 THIS IS ALL PART OF HIS PLAN, THAT SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER... 333 00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:25,560 WOMAN-HATING DICKHEAD. 334 00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:29,270 - GOLDIE. THERE SHE IS. - RATH, HI. 335 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,570 - YOU GOOD? - GREAT. 336 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,100 - GOOD, I MADE SURE THEY HAD 337 00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:33,300 SOME OF THAT GLUTEN-FREE SHIT FOR YOU. 338 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:35,240 - THERE YOU GO. - YOU'RE THE BEST. 339 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:37,410 WHAT A GREAT HOME-- BEAUTIFUL. 340 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,580 - WORK HARD, YOU'LL GET THERE, RIGHT? 341 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:42,580 HEY, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT USING MY PARTY 342 00:12:42,610 --> 00:12:44,450 AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO POACH CLIENTS, HUH? 343 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,880 - NEVER. 344 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,380 - AS IF ANYONE WOULD EVER WANT TO SIGN 345 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:50,590 WITH THIS FUCKING DEGENERATE LUNATIC, RIGHT? 346 00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:53,860 HAVE FUN. 347 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,930 - I CAN'T TELL YOU MUCH, 348 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,430 BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT WE'RE PLANNING 349 00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:05,200 ON PUTTING YOU IN SOME SERIOUSLY HOT OUTFITS. 350 00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,440 TRUTH. 351 00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:08,070 - SHUT THE FUCK UP, HUGH. 352 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,970 YOU'RE CREEPING OUT THE FEMALE LEAD OF THE SHOW. 353 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:11,440 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT-- HE HAS ABSOLUTELY 354 00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,280 NO DECISION-MAKING POWER. 355 00:13:13,310 --> 00:13:15,210 AND HE LOVES CUPCAKES AND COLDPLAY 356 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,550 AND STICKING PENCILS UP HIS POOPER. 357 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:18,510 - WHO DOESN'T LOVE COLDPLAY? 358 00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:21,220 - AND YOU ARE? - HANK MOODY--NEWBIE WRITER. 359 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:24,620 BE GENTLE WITH ME. 360 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,860 - YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WROTE THE MOVIE, RIGHT? 361 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,490 - I AM ONE OF 19 PEOPLE WHO WROTE THE MOVIE 362 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,190 THAT NEVER CAME OUT, YEAH. 363 00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,630 - AND YOU WROTE FUCKING & PUNCHING? 364 00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,930 - I AM ONLY ONE OF SIX PEOPLE WHO WROTE THAT, 365 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,630 WHICH IS WHY IT'S SO DAMN GOOD. 366 00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,630 - IT IS GOOD. GOD, I LOVE THAT MOVIE. 367 00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:40,300 - AW, SHUCKS. THANK YOU. 368 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,610 - [chuckles] CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU? 369 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,470 - IF YOU MUST. 370 00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:46,480 - I DON'T LIKE THE WAY RATH IS WRITING MY CHARACTER. 371 00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:49,180 - YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BRING THAT UP WITH RATH, THEN. 372 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:51,510 - I DID, AND HE BLEW ME OFF. 373 00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:53,280 CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE? 374 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,320 - YOU MEAN, LIKE, RIGHT NOW? 375 00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,290 - I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. 376 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,120 - OW. - [chuckles] 377 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:07,030 - HEY. HEY, THERE, RUNKLE. 378 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,530 HOW--HOW YOU DOING? HOW'S MARRIED LIFE? 379 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,600 - OH, IT'S, YOU KNOW, UPS AND DOWNS, STU. 380 00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:14,170 CHECKS AND BAL--ALL GOOD IN THE PROVERBIAL HOOD, YEAH. 381 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,410 - YEAH, WAIT, WAIT. YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING 382 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,910 I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 383 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,480 - OH, YEAH? WHAT'S THAT, STU? 384 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:23,250 - I WANT TO SLEEP WITH MARCY AGAIN. 385 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,550 - STU... 386 00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,950 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 387 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:31,150 - I DON'T KNOW. 388 00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,490 I MEAN, MY CAREER IS ON FIRE. 389 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,230 THIS TELEVISION THING HAS ME SHITTING CASH. 390 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:41,300 BUT, UH, WITHOUT A QUEEN, MY CASTLE IS A-CRUMBLIN'. 391 00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,630 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, 392 00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:45,270 I KNOW YOU WON HER FAIR AND SQUARE, 393 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,640 BUT I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT MAGNIFICENT CREATURE. 394 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:52,240 - YOU GOTTA MOVE ON, STU, 'CAUSE WE ARE MARRIED, OKAY? 395 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,340 AGAIN. 396 00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:56,110 - I KNOW THAT. I RESPECT THAT. 397 00:14:56,150 --> 00:14:57,580 - MM. - YOU KNOW... 398 00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:59,720 MARCY MAY VERY WELL BE YOUR SOUL MATE, 399 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:03,390 BUT THAT WOMAN WAS BORN TO BE MY SEX PARTNER. 400 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:06,220 AND I JUST MISS HER SO MUCH... 401 00:15:06,260 --> 00:15:08,590 SO MUCH. 402 00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,690 LIKE, THIS LAST TIME, 403 00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,460 SHE LET ME GO DOWN ON HER, 404 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,330 AND I WASN'T ABLE TO GET MY HELMET 405 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,430 INTO THAT SILKY POND OF HERS. 406 00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,240 YOU KNOW, SHE'S SO FUCKING TIGHT, CHARLIE! 407 00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:21,200 I MEAN, SHE MAKES ME FEEL HUGE. 408 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,440 AND I'M ALREADY HUGE. - I'M WELL AWARE, STU. 409 00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:26,340 NOW, WHEN WAS THIS 410 00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:28,580 THAT SHE LET YOU GO DOWN ON HER AGAIN? 411 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:33,020 - IT WAS WAY BEFORE YOU TWO WERE REMARRIED, OF COURSE. 412 00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:37,220 IT WAS A SUNNY DAY IN VENICE... 413 00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:39,490 TUESDAY... 414 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,130 QUITE POSSIBLY MY LAST HAPPY DAY. 415 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,300 OH, GOD, YOU GUYS MUST BE BONING EVERY CHANCE YOU CAN. 416 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,630 YOU'RE FUCKING NEWLYWEDS. 417 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,200 - WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS CONVERSATION, STU? 418 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:53,300 YOU MISS FUCKING MARCY. OKAY, I GET IT. SO WHAT? 419 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:56,140 - RUNKLE, I... 420 00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:58,440 HAVE A PROPOSAL FOR YOU. 421 00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:02,080 AND, YES, IT IS QUITE INDECENT. 422 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:05,710 WITH YOUR PERMISSION, AND HERS, OF COURSE, 423 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:10,320 I AM WILLING TO PAY YOU GUYS A COOL $1 MILLION 424 00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:13,790 IF YOU WILL LET ME SLEEP WITH HER AGAIN-- 425 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,790 JUST THE ONCE, 426 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:19,430 FOR AS MANY TIMES AS WE CAN FIT INTO A NIGHT. 427 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:22,130 THINK ABOUT IT. 428 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,600 - * SUSPICIOUS 429 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,040 * I'M SUSPICIOUS 430 00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:33,210 - YOU TOTALLY MADE THIS WORTH MY WHILE. 431 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,540 - I TOLD YOU I WOULD. 432 00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:36,480 - YOUR NOTES ARE FUCKING BULLSHIT, 433 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:38,450 BUT YOUR WEED IS SUPERB. 434 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,180 - YOU'RE FUNNY. - I AM FUNNY-- 435 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,520 I MEAN, NOT LIKE COMEDIAN FUNNY, BUT I-I'M WITTY. 436 00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:46,290 I-I GUESS THAT'S MY THING. 437 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,190 - WITTY IS GOOD, YOU KNOW. NOBODY'S REALLY WITTY ANYMORE. 438 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:52,460 - THAT'S RIGHT. LIKE--LIKE WOODY ALLEN OR PAULY SHORE. 439 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,660 IT'S A LOST ART, REALLY. 440 00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,570 - SO WHAT BRINGS A REAL WRITER TO SANTA MONICA COP? 441 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,170 - IT WAS TIME TO GROW THE FUCK UP. 442 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,140 I NEEDED A JOB. - LOOK AT YOU, ALL GROWED UP. 443 00:17:03,170 --> 00:17:06,780 - WHAT IS A SERIOUS ACTRESS DOING ON SANTA MONICA COP? 444 00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:10,310 - I NEEDED A JOB TOO, BUT I'M NOT SO KEEN ON GROWING UP. 445 00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,580 - [imitates house music] 446 00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:14,420 - [laughs] - EXCUSE ME. 447 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,780 - I NEED TO MAKE A CONFESSION. 448 00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:17,550 - YOU'RE THINKING IMPURE THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. 449 00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:19,720 THAT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. 450 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,260 - NO. UM, I HATE THIS SHOW. 451 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,490 - THAT'S ALSO TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. 452 00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:25,730 - I HAD THE OPTION OF TAKING THIS SHOW 453 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,230 OR SOME CLASS-UP-THE-ASS BBC THING, 454 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,130 AND MY AGENT TALKED ME INTO TAKING THIS ONE. 455 00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:32,240 - THAT'S A BUMMER. - YEAH. 456 00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:35,400 A BIG BUMMER. CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 457 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,670 CAN YOU PLEASE TALK TO RATH, SEE IF MAYBE HE CAN KILL ME OFF? 458 00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,440 - [groans] - I PROMISE... 459 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,850 I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE. 460 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:46,150 - MY HEAD IS SPINNING WITH THE POSSIBILITIES. 461 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,820 - AS IT SHOULD, BUT IN THE MEANTIME, 462 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,720 I HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE CONFESSION. 463 00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,360 - YOU HAVE THREE TITS AND A DICK. 464 00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:53,760 - [laughs] 465 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:55,320 - [snaps fingers] - ALMOST. 466 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,690 ONE OF MY VERY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD 467 00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,900 IS SASHA BINGHAM. - I KNOW SASHA BINGHAM. 468 00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,760 - I KNOW YOU KNOW SASHA BINGHAM. 469 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,270 - SASHA BINGHAM IS THE STAR OF FUCKING & PUNCHING. 470 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,670 - SHE WAS, INDEED. - WE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES... 471 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,440 EXCEPT FOR THE TIME WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED HER MOM. 472 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,710 THAT WAS UNFORTUNATE. - SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT. 473 00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:14,840 SHE ALSO SAID YOU GIVE REALLY GREAT HEAD. 474 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,480 - SHE DID? - MM-HMM. 475 00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:19,280 - THAT IS SO SWEET OF HER. - I KNOW. SHE'S SWEET. 476 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,750 - THAT IS JUST A VERY NICE THING TO SAY ABOUT A PERSON. 477 00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,320 WILL YOU GIVE HER MY BEST? 478 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,920 - ABSOLUTELY. 479 00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:28,320 SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHAT DO YOU THINK DEFINES GREAT HEAD? 480 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,560 - OH, WELL, I-I GUESS YOU'D HAVE TO ASK THE HEAD-GETTER. 481 00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:33,630 - WELL, I MEAN, I'VE HAD GOOD HEAD, 482 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,800 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES IT GREAT. 483 00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:39,740 - I THINK YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE "BAGINA" LIKE A PERSON. 484 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:41,900 AND--AND HOW DO YOU TREAT A PERSON? 485 00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,570 LIKE YOU YOURSELF WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. 486 00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:45,870 - I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 487 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:48,440 IT JUST SOUNDS SO INTELLECTUAL. 488 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,350 AFTER ALL, ISN'T IT IMPORTANT FOR A WRITER TO SHOW 489 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,580 AND NOT TO TELL? 490 00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,720 - OH, MY. OH, DEAR. 491 00:18:56,750 --> 00:18:59,560 YOU DO MAKE A VALID POINT. 492 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:00,760 - [giggles] 493 00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:03,690 - PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD? 494 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,890 - PERMISSION GRANTED. 495 00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,730 [laughs] 496 00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:14,800 [moans] 497 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,340 - YOU'RE A VERY PLEASANT ACTRESS, VERY AGREEABLE. 498 00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:18,640 - OH. [clears throat] - HMM? I CAN DO BETTER. 499 00:19:18,670 --> 00:19:21,380 OH, HELLO. 500 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,610 - HI. - HELLO. 501 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:23,780 - SORRY. 502 00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:26,480 - HI. NO, NO. 503 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,820 HELLO. - HI. 504 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,850 - AMY TAYLOR WALSH. IT IS LOVELY TO MEET YOU. 505 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:31,720 I BELIEVE WE'RE GONNA BE WORKING TOGETHER. 506 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,790 - NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M A HUGE FAN. 507 00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:36,460 - GREAT. - ME TOO. I'M A HUGE FAN. 508 00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:39,800 - [clears throat] 509 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,930 - YEAH. UM, SORRY ABOUT THAT. 510 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,870 - IT'S NONE OF MY BEESWAX. 511 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,630 - HMM. WHAT'S GOING ON? 512 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,640 - UM, WELL, HASHTAG ASKED ME TO GO FOR A RIDE IN HIS BENTLEY. 513 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,470 - THAT'S PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA. 514 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:52,480 - WHAT, LIKE GOING DOWN ON THE FEMALE LEAD OF THE SHOW? 515 00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,680 - MUCH LIKE THAT. 516 00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,410 YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP THE FLIRTATION 517 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,250 WITH HASHTAG TO A MINIMUM. - I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH HIM. 518 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,880 HE'S JUST REALLY FUCKING FUNNY. 519 00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:01,020 - HE IS FUCKING FUNNY, AND RATH IS FUCKING JEALOUS. 520 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:02,950 - GOD, SO MUCH FUSS OVER AN ACTRESS 521 00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:04,950 WHO HASN'T WORKED IN 20 YEARS-- IT'S SO FUN. 522 00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:07,320 - WHAT CAN I SAY? YOU GET THE BOYS ALL HOT AND BOTHERED. 523 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,260 - WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SOME COMMODITY. 524 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:12,260 I MEAN, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN RATH OR HASHTAG OR ANYONE. 525 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,430 I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY TO HAVE AN ACTING JOB. 526 00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:15,800 - MM-HMM. 527 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:17,370 - AND I-I DON'T WANT TO COMPLICATE MY LIFE. 528 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,340 LIKE WHEN WE KISSED, I REALLY LEARNED FROM THAT. 529 00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:21,570 - THAT'S RIGHT--WE KISSED. I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 530 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,840 - YOU FORGOT THAT WE KISSED? 531 00:20:22,870 --> 00:20:24,340 - NO, IT WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 532 00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:26,980 OF COURSE I REMEMBER. AND IT WAS VERY NICE. 533 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:30,310 - IT WAS NICE. IT WAS A FAMILIAR SURPRISE. 534 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,850 - IT WAS A PERFECT STORM OF BOOZE AND NITROUS. 535 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,650 I WAS VERY VULNERABLE IN THAT CHAIR. 536 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,920 YOU TOTALLY TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. 537 00:20:35,950 --> 00:20:37,350 - YOU MANIPULATED ME 538 00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,390 WITH ALL THESE BULLSHIT COMPLIMENTS 539 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,490 ABOUT WHAT A GREAT MOTHER I AM. 540 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,060 - IT WASN'T BULLSHIT. YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER. 541 00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:45,330 YOU'RE A FANTASTIC MOTHER. - DON'T DO THAT. 542 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,760 - MOTHER TERESA'S GOT NOTHING ON YOU. 543 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,460 - [scoffs] THAT'S MEAN. 544 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,070 - YOU'RE PROBABLY A BETTER KISSER THAN SHE EVER WAS, AND-- 545 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,970 BUT WHO KNOWS? MAYBE SHE HAD A ROCKING BOD 546 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,500 UNDERNEATH THAT SAINTLY FROCK. 547 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:55,740 JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO KISS AGAIN. 548 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:57,670 - YOU JUST WENT DOWN ON A GIRL. - MMM. 549 00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:59,540 - EW. - WHAT IF I BRUSHED MY TEETH? 550 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:01,740 COME ON, THAT'S GOT TO BE A BIT OF A TURN-ON-- 551 00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:03,510 ME OFFERING TO BRUSH MY TEETH? 552 00:21:03,550 --> 00:21:07,650 - WHY DID YOU GO DOWN ON HER? - IT'S A LONG STORY. 553 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,490 BUT SHE HEARD I GAVE GOOD HEAD. THAT'S--YOU KNOW... 554 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,460 - YOU DO GIVE GOOD HEAD. I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. 555 00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:16,490 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. IT WAS SO LONG AGO. 556 00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:17,760 - OH, FUCK. 557 00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:19,430 - WHAT? - I THINK I'M HARD. 558 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:22,370 - IS THAT FROM BEFORE OR FROM US? 559 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,930 - WHO CAN TELL? I CAN'T DIFFERENTIATE. 560 00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,670 I MEAN, I-I DON'T KNOW THAT I'D WANT TO. 561 00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:30,440 BUT I THINK THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO DEFUSE THIS SITUATION. 562 00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:33,380 - HOW? 563 00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:36,110 AAH, GET THAT PUSSY MOUTH AWAY FROM ME! 564 00:21:36,140 --> 00:21:39,520 [laughing] 565 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:42,050 [squeals] 566 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,090 NO, NO! 567 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,360 [laughing] 568 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:47,490 - WHAT THE FUCK? 569 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,830 - I TOLD YOU THIS MOTHERFUCKER LIKE TO STICK HIS PECKER 570 00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:50,860 WHERE IT DON'T BELONG. 571 00:21:50,890 --> 00:21:52,500 - HEY, I DECIDE WHOSE PECKER 572 00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:54,560 GOES IN HERE AND WHOSE DOESN'T, OKAY? 573 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,700 AND YOU'RE A VERY CHARMING AND FUNNY GUY, 574 00:21:56,730 --> 00:21:58,800 BUT I'M A SINGLE MOM, AND I'M NOT EASILY WOOED, 575 00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,070 EVEN WITH A BENTLEY. 576 00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,940 - I GOT--I GOT A FERRARI. 577 00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:04,410 - AND, RICK, I REALLY ENJOYED OUR DATE. 578 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,540 AND I-I'M SO GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR GIVING ME AN ACTING JOB 579 00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:08,610 AND MAKING MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS COME TRUE, 580 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,080 BUT IF THE JOB COMES WITH STRINGS ATTACHED, 581 00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:12,720 THEN I CANNOT AND WILL NOT DO IT. 582 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:14,650 - NO, NO. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. 583 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,080 THE JOB IS YOURS, JULIA. 584 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,750 - I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 585 00:22:18,790 --> 00:22:21,560 - WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, RATH? FIRE HIS FUCKING ASS. 586 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,760 - YOU DON'T TELL ME WHO TO HIRE AND WHO TO FIRE. 587 00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:25,060 IT'S MY FUCKING SHOW. 588 00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:27,160 - MY CHARACTER IS THE FUCKING SHOW. 589 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,600 - AND WHO SAYS IT'S YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER? 590 00:22:28,630 --> 00:22:29,800 - NICE. 591 00:22:29,830 --> 00:22:30,800 - AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 592 00:22:30,830 --> 00:22:31,970 YOU KNOW I LIKE HER. 593 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,600 - I KNOW IT LOOKED LIKE FUNNY BUSINESS, 594 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,440 BUT IT WAS JUST A TICKLE FIGHT-- I SWEAR TO GOD, HONESTLY. 595 00:22:35,470 --> 00:22:39,640 - RATH, YOU ARE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS. 596 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,540 THERE'S FUCKING IN THE POOL. 597 00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:43,650 - MOTHERFUCKERS! 598 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,910 MOTHERFUCKERS! 599 00:22:52,150 --> 00:22:54,120 - NINE FUCKING BATHROOMS IN THE FUCKING HOUSE, 600 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,830 AND THE ASSHOLE'S GOT TO SCREW IN MY POOL, HUH? 601 00:22:56,860 --> 00:23:00,460 HEY, LEON, I WAS VERY CLEAR-- 602 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:01,830 NO FUCKING IN MY POOL. 603 00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:03,530 - LEVON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 604 00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:05,930 - NIKKI, I'M PAYING YOU VERY GOOD MONEY 605 00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:07,470 TO BE MY DATE TONIGHT. 606 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,470 - NO, I KNOW, STU. I'M REALLY SORRY. 607 00:23:09,510 --> 00:23:11,470 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A LITTLE EXTRA CASH. 608 00:23:11,510 --> 00:23:14,080 AND HONESTLY, HE SAID THAT HANK WOULD TAKE CARE OF IT. 609 00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:15,710 SO, REALLY, THIS IS ALL ON YOU. 610 00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:17,850 - I TOLD YOU I WASN'T GONNA LEND YOU THAT MONEY. 611 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,950 - I KNOW, BUT THEN MY HEAD GOT ALL CLOUDY. 612 00:23:19,980 --> 00:23:21,120 GOD, THIS IS HOW YOUNG PEOPLE 613 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,550 GET IN TROUBLE WITH CREDIT CARDS. 614 00:23:22,590 --> 00:23:25,590 - SHE'S A HOOKER? YOU'RE A HOOKER? 615 00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,060 - YEAH, PRETTY MUCH. 616 00:23:27,090 --> 00:23:28,860 BUT ON THE UPSIDE, I GET TESTED, 617 00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:30,960 LIKE, ALL THE TIME, SO WE'RE GOOD. 618 00:23:30,990 --> 00:23:32,130 - THIS IS SO UPSETTING. 619 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,860 YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY TO A HOOKER. 620 00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:35,500 - NOT--NOT JUST. I MEAN-- 621 00:23:35,530 --> 00:23:37,970 - HEY, NOW. - I'M--DON'T BE UPSET, MOM. 622 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,540 I MEAN, SHE'S REALLY COOL. 623 00:23:39,570 --> 00:23:42,610 SHE--SHE'S THE COOLEST. I THINK I'M IN LOVE. 624 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,770 [smooches] - AW. 625 00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:44,940 - YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A HOOKER? 626 00:23:44,970 --> 00:23:46,210 - NO, ACTUALLY, THIS IS PRETTY COMMON. 627 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,010 GUYS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME ALL THE TIME. 628 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,910 - WE NEVER SHOULD'VE MOVED TO L.A. 629 00:23:49,950 --> 00:23:51,580 DID YOU USE A CONDOM, HONEY? 630 00:23:51,610 --> 00:23:53,480 - YES. - GOOD. 631 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,180 - I'M REALLY SORRY, MOM--HANK WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP ME OUT. 632 00:23:55,220 --> 00:23:57,020 I SHOULD'VE LEFT IT ALONE. I SHOULD'VE BEEN CONTENT 633 00:23:57,050 --> 00:23:58,750 HAVING SEX WITH HER ONCE AND CALLED IT A DAY. 634 00:23:58,790 --> 00:24:00,720 BUT, NO, I HAD TO FLY TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN. 635 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,730 - THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME? - HERE WE GO. 636 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,660 - I'M SORRY. I-I CAN'T LIE TO MY MOMS. 637 00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,630 DON'T BLAME HANK. HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING. 638 00:24:07,660 --> 00:24:08,930 AND HE TOTALLY WAS. 639 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,530 I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 640 00:24:10,570 --> 00:24:12,200 I FEEL LIKE A GREAT WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED, MOM. 641 00:24:12,230 --> 00:24:14,240 I'M GLAD DAD GOT ME A HOOKER. 642 00:24:14,270 --> 00:24:18,210 - [gasps] YOU GOT HIM A HOOKER? 643 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,010 - THE WAY IN WHICH YOU ASK THAT MAKES ME THINK 644 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,650 YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA. 645 00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:29,690 all: OH! - OH, YES, OKAY. 646 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,060 NOT A VERY GOOD IDEA AT ALL. I'M SORRY, JULIA. 647 00:24:33,090 --> 00:24:35,090 I-I THOUGHT I WAS DOING A GOOD THING. 648 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,560 - DON'T WORRY, DAD. 649 00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:38,960 I-I-I'LL SMOOTH IT OUT FOR YOU. I PROMISE. 650 00:24:38,990 --> 00:24:40,260 - YOU HAPPY NOW, RATH? 651 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:42,030 - OKAY, NOT NOW, GOLDIE, NOT NOW. 652 00:24:42,060 --> 00:24:43,770 - THIS IS THE FUCKING SHIP THAT YOU RUN. 653 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,570 - YES, THIS IS THE SHIP I RUN. LOOK AT ME. 654 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,840 I'M CAPTAIN OF THE HMS FUCKTARD. 655 00:24:47,870 --> 00:24:49,570 - THAT'S WHY I'M GONNA TAKE IT OUT FROM UNDERNEATH YOU, 656 00:24:49,610 --> 00:24:51,170 BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. - BE MY GUEST. 657 00:24:51,210 --> 00:24:54,140 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT STEERING THIS SHIP OF FOOLS. 658 00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:55,610 - I WILL. YOU TELL HIM, CHARLIE. 659 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,210 TELL HIM. - HUH? TELL HIM WHAT? 660 00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:59,050 - TELL HIM HE'S DISRESPECTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME. 661 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,580 - OH, OH, OKAY. 662 00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:02,120 RATH, I THINK WHAT GOLDIE MEANS TO SAY IS-- 663 00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:03,850 - SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW. 664 00:25:03,890 --> 00:25:06,090 - SHUTTING THE FUCK UP NOW. 665 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,060 - YOU FUCKING PUSSY. - WHAT? 666 00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:09,630 - WHAT, DOES YOUR SUIT COME WITH TAMPONS? 667 00:25:09,660 --> 00:25:13,160 [laughter] 668 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,830 - DOES THAT SUIT COME WITH TAMPONS? 669 00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:17,270 SEE, THAT'S FUNNY, RIGHT? IF IT'S FUNNY, I LAUGH. 670 00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:19,270 YOU ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING FUNNY. 671 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:21,740 - AM I ACTUALLY FUCKING FUNNY? - YEAH. 672 00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:23,640 - FUCK YOU, HASHTAG! all: OH! 673 00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:25,270 - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN? 674 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:26,880 - YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH CALLING ME A BITCH? 675 00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:28,010 - I DIDN'T CALL YOU A BITCH. 676 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,680 I HAVE RESPECT FOR ALL WOMANKIND. 677 00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:31,610 I SIMPLY SAID, "I DON'T TAKE PITCHES FROM BITCHES. 678 00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:33,020 Y'ALL USE TOO MANY WORDS." THAT'S IT. 679 00:25:33,050 --> 00:25:34,820 - OH. OH, OKAY. THAT'S A LOT BETTER. 680 00:25:34,850 --> 00:25:37,290 YOU TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. REPRESENT! 681 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,620 - ACTUALLY, I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING HE SAYS. 682 00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:42,120 MY OWN WIFE, MARCY, WHEN SHE TALKS AT ME, 683 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,830 THE SHEER VOLUME OF WORDS-- IT MAKES MY EARS BLEED. 684 00:25:44,860 --> 00:25:46,760 - OH, THIS BALD MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS OF WHICH HE SPEAKS. 685 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,300 - THAT'S RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 686 00:25:48,330 --> 00:25:50,230 ALL RIGHT. OH, ONE OF THOSE TOO. I LIKE THAT ONE. 687 00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:51,270 - EXCUSE ME. - WHAT? 688 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:52,800 - YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED! 689 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,900 - AND YOU'RE FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY, GOLDIE. 690 00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:56,640 - [growls] all: OH! 691 00:25:56,670 --> 00:25:58,740 - OH, HEY! BE NICE TO MY AGENT. 692 00:25:58,770 --> 00:26:01,240 - YO, RATH, WHERE THE FUCK YOU FIND THESE WRITERS, MAN? 693 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,050 YOU JUST PULL OUTSIDE OF A HOME DEPOT AND SAY, 694 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,250 "HOP THE FUCK IN"? 695 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,950 THESE ARE SOME SERIOUSLY TWEAKED MOTHERFUCKERS. 696 00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:10,920 all: OH! - [coughing and retching] 697 00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:13,790 - SHIT, SHIT. - GOLDIE. 698 00:26:17,690 --> 00:26:19,660 - [groans] 699 00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:25,800 - RIDDLE ME THIS, RUNKS. 700 00:26:25,830 --> 00:26:27,000 HOW CAN I BE IN THE DOGHOUSE 701 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,070 WITH A WOMAN I'M NOT EVEN DATING, 702 00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:32,240 AND WHY DO I CARE SO FUCKING MUCH? 703 00:26:35,310 --> 00:26:37,210 - DO YOU THINK YOU STILL HAVE A JOB? 704 00:26:37,250 --> 00:26:39,150 - I DON'T KNOW. 705 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:41,150 - YOU THINK GOLDIE STILL HAS A JOB? 706 00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:44,990 - MY GUESS WOULD BE "FUCK, NO." 707 00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:49,220 WHAT'S WRONG, PICKLE LIPS? - [crying] I'M BROKE, HANK. 708 00:26:49,260 --> 00:26:50,960 - YOU MEAN LIKE BROKE BROKE? 709 00:26:50,990 --> 00:26:53,960 - LIKE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY BROKE. 710 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,800 LIKE "I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA PAY THE RENT NEXT MONTH" BROKE. 711 00:26:56,830 --> 00:27:01,270 LIKE--LIKE--LIKE THE KIND OF BROKE THAT FORCES A MAN 712 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:04,170 TO DO SOMETHING DESPERATE. 713 00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:06,070 - I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU 20%, CHARLIE. 714 00:27:06,110 --> 00:27:08,380 MY NEXT PAYCHECK HAS TO GO TO SUPPORTING 715 00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:10,080 MY SON'S NEW HOOKER HABIT. 716 00:27:10,110 --> 00:27:13,220 - [sobbing] 717 00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:16,750 WE'RE SO FUCKING FUCKED. 718 00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:19,450 - YES, WE ARE FUCKING FUCKED, BUT WE'VE BEEN FUCKED BEFORE... 719 00:27:19,490 --> 00:27:21,260 [engine turning] 720 00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:24,260 IN THE ASS, LEGS PINNED BEHIND OUR EARS, 721 00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:25,730 NOT A DROP OF LUBE. 722 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,230 BUT WE ALWAYS COME OUT SMILING. YOU KNOW WHY? 723 00:27:28,260 --> 00:27:31,300 'CAUSE THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF HAPPY-GO-LUCKY SLUTS WE ARE, 724 00:27:31,330 --> 00:27:32,330 MY MAN. 725 00:27:32,370 --> 00:27:35,740 - * THESE ARE THE DAYS OF MIRACLE AND WONDER * 726 00:27:35,770 --> 00:27:38,740 * THIS IS THE LONG-DISTANCE CALL * 727 00:27:38,770 --> 00:27:42,310 * THE WAY THE CAMERA FOLLOWS US IN SLOW-MO * 728 00:27:42,340 --> 00:27:45,750 * THE WAY WE LOOK TO US ALL 729 00:27:45,780 --> 00:27:48,750 * THE WAY WE LOOK TO A DISTANT CONSTELLATION * 730 00:27:48,780 --> 00:27:52,790 * THAT'S DYING IN A CORNER OF THE SKY * 731 00:27:52,820 --> 00:27:55,760 * THESE ARE THE DAYS OF MIRACLE AND WONDER * 732 00:27:55,790 --> 00:27:58,030 * DON'T CRY, BABY, DON'T CRY 733 00:27:58,060 --> 00:28:00,730 * DON'T CRY, DON'T CRY 734 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:08,700 * 55355

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