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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:10,530 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,530 - MM. I FUCKING LOVE TEETH. THEY FASCINATE ME. 3 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,530 WHEN LEVON CAME ALONG, HE DERAILED THE WHOLE ACTING THING. 4 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:18,340 - YEAH. - I BECAME A DENTAL HYGIENIST. 5 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:19,800 - OH, SO YOU'RE MY MANAGER NOW. 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,740 MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT GETTING SOME OTHER CLIENTS. 7 00:00:21,770 --> 00:00:25,110 - YEAH, BUT THAT'S THE OTHER REASON I'M HERE. 8 00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:27,280 - I HAVE A SEVERE NUT ALLERGY. 9 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,150 - YEAH, OF COURSE YOU DO. - I COULD DIE. 10 00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:30,150 - THAT WOULD BE A SHAME. 11 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,680 - [retches] - OH! 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,290 - I-I REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH RATH'S ASSISTANT. 13 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,490 - WELL, IT'S GOOD TO HAVE DREAMS, 14 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,820 GOOD TO SHOOT FOR THE MOON. 15 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:39,390 - YEAH, BUT HOW DO I GET THERE? 16 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,090 - IT'S BEST TO PLAY IT COOL. 17 00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:43,390 - I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT. I'M JULIA, LEVON'S MOM. 18 00:00:43,430 --> 00:00:45,130 - H-HI, MELANIE. 19 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,660 I-I'M VERY SORRY I CREATED 20 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,430 A HOSTILE WORKING ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU. 21 00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:51,300 - RICK RATH. HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANY ACTING? 22 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:53,770 - OH, YEARS AGO, IN NEW YORK. 23 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,140 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 24 00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:56,710 I'M GONNA LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET. 25 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:59,180 I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY A LOT MORE TALENTED 26 00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:00,840 THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. 27 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,430 - OHH. 28 00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:31,480 OH, HEY. - HI. 29 00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:33,740 - OH, I KNOW YOU, UH, LOVE 30 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:36,480 THAT OVERGROWN MAN-CHILD OF YOURS. 31 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:39,550 OURS? TOO SOON? 32 00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:41,250 BUT YOU GOT TO STOP VISITING HIM AT WORK. 33 00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:42,750 IT'S NOT COOL. 34 00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,550 IN FACT, IT'S SO FAR FROM COOL, IT'S ALMOST CREEPY. 35 00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,220 NO, IT'S CREEPY. 36 00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,660 YEP, WE'RE IN CREEPY TOWN RIGHT NOW--POPULATION YOU. 37 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:53,460 - "A," I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT, AND "B," IT'S TOO SOON. 38 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,570 AND "C," ARE YOU GETTING STONED RIGHT NOW? 39 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,830 - WHAT KIND OF APPOINTMENT? 40 00:01:57,870 --> 00:01:59,840 - IT'S AN ACTING APPOINTMENT. - MM. 41 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,640 - YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION. - AN AUDITION. 42 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,270 - RATH SAID THAT THERE WAS A SMALL PART 43 00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:05,510 THAT I MIGHT BE GOOD FOR. 44 00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,680 - OH, RATH DID, DID HE? VERY INTERESTING. 45 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,250 - YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA? 46 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,220 - NO, BUT I THINK VERY FEW THINGS ARE GOOD IDEAS. 47 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,550 IT TURNS OUT I'M A VERY NEGATIVE PERSON, 48 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,520 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT WITH MY THERAPIST. 49 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:17,190 NOT REALLY. WHAT'S WRONG? 50 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,590 - [breathes deeply] I'M REALLY NERVOUS. 51 00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:20,720 I'M REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS. 52 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,330 - LIKE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA NERVOUS? 53 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,690 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 54 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,700 WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT, 55 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,630 NOBODY CARES. YOU KNOW WHY? 56 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:28,970 'CAUSE YOU LOOK AMAZING. 57 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,870 - REALLY? DO YOU THINK SO? - I DO. I THINK. 58 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,840 I THINK MANY THOUGHTS, MANY IMPURE THOUGHTS. 59 00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:37,270 IT'S LIKE THE PUSSYCAT THEATER UP IN HERE RIGHT NOW. 60 00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:39,710 - WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING? IT'S SO STUPID. 61 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,450 I MEAN, I SHOULD JUST GO BACK TO WORK WHERE IT'S SAFE, 62 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,280 WHERE PEOPLE LOVE ME, AND PEOPLE HAVE TEETH THAT NEED CLEANING, 63 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,420 AND I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. 64 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,350 I DO IT REALLY WELL. 65 00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:48,720 JUST TELL RATH THANKS, BUT, NO, THANKS. 66 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,420 - I WILL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT. 67 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,560 YOU CAN DO THIS. GO ON. 68 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,990 - HOW DO YOU KNOW? 69 00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,830 - BECAUSE I AM FLASHING BACK 70 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,700 TO A MEMORY OF OUR BRIEF HISTORY TOGETHER. 71 00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,760 I USED TO RUN LINES WITH YOU. 72 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,570 YEAH, MM-HMM. REMEMBER? - SORT OF. 73 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,870 NO MATTER WHAT THE SIDES WERE, 74 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,540 YOU'D ALWAYS TURN IT INTO A SEX SCENE. 75 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:07,740 - WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU 76 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,310 TO INTERNALIZE THE MATERIAL 77 00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:10,970 WITHOUT THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. 78 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,510 OR I WAS JUST BEING AWESOME. 79 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:15,650 EITHER WAY, YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT IN THERE. 80 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,920 JUST BREAK ONE OF THOSE INCREDIBLY SEXY LEGS OF YOURS. 81 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:21,420 - THANK YOU, HANK. - YOU'RE WELCOME, JULIA. 82 00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:22,720 - [sighs] 83 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,450 YOU CAN GO BACK TO GETTING STONED NOW. 84 00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:25,620 - THANK YOU. THANK-- 85 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,690 HEY, UM, MAYBE YOU CARE TO PARTAKE. 86 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,660 YOU KNOW, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. 87 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,730 IT MIGHT JUST TAKE THE EDGE OFF. 88 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,500 COME HERE. 89 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:38,030 A LITTLE SHOTGUN. 90 00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:39,500 - [coughs] 91 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:41,340 - THERE YOU GO. YOU'RE READY NOW. 92 00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,940 GO GET THEM. 93 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,940 [upbeat music] 94 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:55,920 * 95 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,320 - HEY, GET IN HERE. TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 96 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,990 YOU TELL ME IF IT'S AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. 97 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:38,630 I'M BIASED, BUT, UH... - ALL RIGHT. MM-HMM. 98 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,400 - HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND, DANKO? 99 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,730 - GROOVY, BABY. GRANDE GROOVY. 100 00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:42,930 WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET ME MAKE YOU 101 00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:44,800 A PERMANENT PART OF MY WEEKEND PLANS? 102 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:46,600 - WHO WRITES THIS SHIT--YOU? - FUCK YOU. 103 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,740 I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SHIT. YOU DID. 104 00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:49,010 - I DIDN'T WRITE IT. 105 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,510 IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD HAVE WRITTEN. 106 00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,880 - OKAY, WATCH. 107 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,750 - THERE'S RULES ABOUT THAT, DANKO. 108 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:58,480 - RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN, SWEETHEART. 109 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,020 - SO IS HEARTS, DANKO. 110 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,550 SO IS HEARTS. 111 00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,820 WAS THAT OKAY OR-- CAN I DO IT AGAIN? 112 00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:07,420 - WATCH. SHE'S GONNA LAUGH. 113 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,960 - [chuckles] 114 00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,530 - THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE-- 115 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,130 - YEAH, IT'S A SMALL PART, 116 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,660 BUT SHE'D BE THE SECRETARY AT THE POLICE STATION. 117 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:18,000 SO SHE'D BE AROUND A LOT, WHICH WOULD BE NICE. 118 00:05:18,030 --> 00:05:19,970 AND SHE'S GOOD, RIGHT? - SHE IS GOOD. 119 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,040 SHE'S--SHE'S-- SHE'S VERY NATURAL. 120 00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,670 - VERY NATURAL. 121 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,610 EXTREMELY NATURAL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. 122 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,840 - I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 123 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,580 - I'M SORRY. DOES THIS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE? 124 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:33,550 - I GUESS NOT. 125 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,450 - I MEAN, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL. - YEAH. 126 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,820 - BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT. 127 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,920 SHE IS LIKE A HIT OF PURE SUNSHINE, YOU KNOW. 128 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,860 SHE'S NOT LIKE ALL THESE FUCKING DAMAGE CASES 129 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,630 YOU MEET OUT HERE, YOU KNOW? - MM-HMM. 130 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,630 - IS IT COOL IF I, UH... 131 00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:50,900 - IF YOU WHAT? - PURSUE HER? 132 00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,840 - WELL, HER SON DOES WORK FOR YOU, YOU KNOW. 133 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,100 - IS THAT A CONFLICT? 134 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,670 - WELL, HE'S NOT GONNA BE THAT HAPPY 135 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,740 IF HE FINDS OUT YOU'RE BANGING HIS MOM. 136 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,910 - YEAH, BUT WHAT DO I CARE IF HE'S HAPPY OR NOT? 137 00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,550 HE WORKS FOR ME. I DON'T WORK FOR HIM. 138 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:03,950 - THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE. 139 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,620 ALL RIGHT, I GUESS IT'S FINE, THEN. 140 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:07,820 - YOU'RE NOT LOOKING TO REKINDLE? 141 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,790 - NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. - WHY NOT? 142 00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,720 - MY LIFE IS ENTIRELY TOO COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW. 143 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,490 - OH, RIGHT, YOU GOT THAT WHOLE THING GOING ON 144 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,890 WITH THE MOTHER OF YOUR OTHER KID. 145 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:18,760 - YEAH, THAT WHOLE OTHER-MOTHER THING, YEAH. 146 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,030 - YEAH. - GOT THAT GOING ON. 147 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,670 - I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 148 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:23,930 MAYBE THIS ISN'T A GOOD IDEA. 149 00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:25,740 MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GIVE HER THE PART. 150 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:27,040 - NO, YOU SHOULD. YOU SHOULD. 151 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,840 I THINK YOU SHOULD. THIS IS GOOD. 152 00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,770 THIS IS A THING OF GOOD. YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO HER. 153 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,510 - OH, I'LL GIVE IT TO HER, ALL RIGHT. 154 00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:35,710 SORRY. 155 00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:41,050 - GOLDIE, I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH 156 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,790 FOR AGREEING TO SIT DOWN WITH ME TODAY. 157 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,950 - DON'T THANK ME. THANK HANK. HE BEGGED ME TO. 158 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,860 HE ALSO SPEAKS THE WORLD OF YOU. 159 00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,090 - REALLY? - YES. 160 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,090 - BECAUSE USUALLY HE MAKES FUN OF ME. 161 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,900 - WELL, HE DOES THAT TOO, BUT I CAN TELL IT'S OUT OF LOVE. 162 00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,670 - THERE IS LOVE. I DO LOVE THE GUY. 163 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:56,970 - THAT IS SO SWEET. 164 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,670 - I TOOK A BULLET FOR HIM, YOU KNOW? 165 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,540 - NO, YOU DIDN'T. - YES, I DID. 166 00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:03,110 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE? - NOT REALLY. 167 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,180 - CAN YOU SEE IT? 168 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,550 - THAT LOOKS LIKE ECZEMA. 169 00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,750 - WHAT? IT'S SCAR TISSUE. 170 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,220 - WHATEVER, DUDE. WHAT'S YOUR PITCH? 171 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,820 - OH, RIGHT. 172 00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:17,220 YOU ARE A VERY TALENTED YOUNG WOMAN, GOLDIE FORREST. 173 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,790 I HAVE BEEN A BIG FAN FOR QUITE SOME TIME. 174 00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:23,530 - COOL. I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. 175 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,830 - YOU WROTE AN EPISODE OF DAWSON'S CREEK, DIDN'T YOU? 176 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,500 - YES, ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. 177 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:30,830 WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT? 178 00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,840 - 'CAUSE I LOVE THAT SHOW. - BULLSHIT. 179 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,270 YOU DIDN'T WATCH DAWSON'S CREEK. 180 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,640 - YES, I DID! 181 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,940 I SWEAR. I STILL WATCH IT IN RERUNS. 182 00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,880 - ARE YOU GAY? - NO, NOT AT ALL. 183 00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,010 WELL, I WAS, YEAH, FOR A SHORT TIME. 184 00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:45,950 PLUS, I WAS JUST PRETENDING. - WHY? 185 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,590 - IF I TOLD YOU THAT, I WOULD HAVE TO KILL YOU, 186 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,820 BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE BORED TO TEARS. 187 00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:51,560 - THANK YOU FOR THAT. 188 00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:53,260 SOMETIMES WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE TELLING A STORY, 189 00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,530 I FANTASIZE ABOUT REACHING INTO THEIR MOUTH, 190 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,830 RIPPING THEIR TONGUE OUT, 191 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,030 AND SHOVING IT SO FAR UP THEIR FUCKING ASS 192 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,260 THAT THEY CAN ONLY DREAM OF SHITTING IT OUT. 193 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:04,170 - WOW. 194 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,940 YOU ARE A MOST DELIGHTFUL YOUNG LADY. 195 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,570 - DO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY? 196 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,780 - YES, VERY MUCH SO. I THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. 197 00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:16,150 - BUT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORKING AGAINST ME PROFESSIONALLY? 198 00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:18,720 SOMETIMES I THINK MY LOOKS ARE A PROBLEM. 199 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,750 YOU KNOW, LIKE, IF I WERE A HATCHET FACE, 200 00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:21,850 I'D HAVE MY OWN SHOW BY NOW. 201 00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,120 - WHO ARE YOU WITH? - UTK. 202 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,320 BUT I'M FEELING KIND OF LOST OVER THERE. 203 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,120 - THAT'S NOT UNCOMMON. 204 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,630 HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO TAKING ON A MANAGER? 205 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:34,000 - I HAVE ONE. 206 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,870 IN FACT, I REALLY SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW. 207 00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,330 - WHY? WHAT ARE WE DOING? 208 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,070 WE'RE TALKING. WE'RE JUST--WE'RE SITTING. 209 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,040 WE'RE TALKING. TWO PEOPLE SITTING AND TALKING. 210 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:45,040 - IT FEELS WRONG, DIRTY, LIKE I'M CHEATING ON HIM. 211 00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:47,740 I'M A DIRTY LITTLE SLUT. 212 00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:51,050 - BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE UNHAPPY. - HE'S A GOOD GUY. 213 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,350 HE'S JUST KIND OF OLD, YOU KNOW. 214 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,850 MY WRITER FRIENDS CALL HIM "OLD BALLS." 215 00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:57,950 HE JUST SEEMS IMPOTENT. 216 00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,790 - ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT THE APPROPRIATE WORD. 217 00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:03,230 - IT IS THE PERFECT WORD. HE'S A REAL LIMP DICK. 218 00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:07,700 - YEAH, WELL, SOMETIMES THOSE LIMP DICKS CAN SURPRISE YOU. 219 00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:10,330 - ARE YOU DOING SOME KIND OF A WEIRD REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY 220 00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:12,340 WHERE YOU DEFEND MY CURRENT REPRESENTATION 221 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,670 AND MAKE ME THINK YOU'RE A GOOD GUY? 222 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,340 BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY WORKING. 223 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:32,020 - WHAT'S WRONG? - NOTHING. 224 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,920 WHY DO YOU THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG? 225 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,090 - BECAUSE YOU'RE QUIET, TOO QUIET. 226 00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,000 USUALLY I GOT TO KEEP TURNING UP THE VOLUME TO DROWN YOU OUT. 227 00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,730 - I LIKE THAT YOU KNOW ME. 228 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,700 - WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 229 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,970 - I'M FUCKING HEARTSICK, MAN. 230 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,170 - MELANIE? - MELANIE. 231 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,370 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOOT A LITTLE LOWER. 232 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,410 YOU KNOW, WHAT ABOUT THAT, UM, THAT GIRL THAT WORKS IN POST? 233 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,840 WHAT ABOUT HER? 234 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,380 - YOU MEAN THE ONE WITH THE LAZY EYE? 235 00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:58,350 - HEY, HER EYE MAY BE LAZY, BUT THAT GIRL WORKS HER ASS OFF. 236 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,150 - WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU JERKED OFF TO A GIRL 237 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,120 BECAUSE SHE WAS A HARD WORKER? 238 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:06,190 MELANIE DRIVES ME CRAZY. SHE--SHE GETS ME SO HOT. 239 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:09,190 I BEAT OFF TO HER AT WORK TODAY. - OH, SHIT. 240 00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:11,160 YOU KNOW, THAT'S VERY DANGEROUS TO MASTURBATE AT WORK. 241 00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,830 YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR UNCLE CHARLIE ABOUT THAT. 242 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,330 IT'S NOT SAFE, AND IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING. 243 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,000 - HEY! - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 244 00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,830 - FUCK YOU. - DON'T JERK OFF AT WORK. 245 00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,400 - FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. 246 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,370 I THINK THE DIRECTOR'S TRYING TO GET IN THERE. 247 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,240 - WHAT? 248 00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:24,410 THAT LITTLE WORM, THAT FUCKING HACK? 249 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,110 YOU GOT THE MOODY BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH YOUR VEINS. 250 00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:29,110 YOU CAN'T LET THAT LITTLE WORM GET IN THE WAY 251 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,980 OF YOU AND ALL YOUR MASTURBATORY DAYDREAMS. 252 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:33,380 SHE'S WAY OUT OF BOTH YOUR LEAGUES ANYWAY. 253 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,050 - YEAH, BUT HE'S GONNA WIN. HE'S A DIRECTOR. 254 00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,050 - NO, HE'S A TV DIRECTOR, 255 00:10:38,090 --> 00:10:40,020 AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY UP THE LADDER. 256 00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,290 GRANTED, YOU'RE USING A FOOTSTOOL 257 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,990 AND BARELY HOLDING ON TO THE FIRST RUNG, 258 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:44,690 BUT HE'S STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. 259 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,160 EVENTUALLY HE'S JUST GONNA FALL OFF AND DIE SCREAMING. 260 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,430 I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT LITTLE FUCK KEEPS GETTING JOBS. 261 00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:51,400 - ME NEITHER. - HE MUST HAVE FILM SOMEWHERE 262 00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:53,740 OF STU RIDING THE SYBIAN OR SOMETHING. 263 00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,710 - I THINK I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT. - YEAH, ME TOO. 264 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,770 - WHOO! I GOT IT! 265 00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,440 I GOT THE PART! I GOT THE PART! 266 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,310 - CONGRATS. WAY TO GO. 267 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:02,910 - WHOO! 268 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,480 - ALL RIGHT, CONGRATS. WAY TO GO. 269 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:07,150 I'D LIKE TO THINK MY LITTLE PEP TALK 270 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,480 HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT-- 271 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,990 THAT AND THE SHOTGUN. 272 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,450 [inhales sharply] - WHAT'S WRONG? 273 00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,920 - NOTHING. - AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR ME? 274 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,390 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT'S AWESOME. 275 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:18,130 NOT ONLY AM I A 21-YEAR-OLD GUY WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER. 276 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,900 NOW I'M A 21-YEAR-OLD GUY WHO WORKS WITH HIS MOTHER. 277 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,460 IT'S SO COOL. 278 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,500 OH, AND THEN THERE'S THE FACT WE MOVED ALL THE WAY OUT HERE 279 00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,030 TO LAUNCH MY ACTING CAREER, 280 00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:26,440 AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LUCKS INTO A JOB. 281 00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:28,140 GOOD FOR YOU, MOM. GOOD FOR YOU. 282 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,340 - HEY, STOP BEING SUCH A SNOTTY LITTLE KILLJOY. 283 00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:32,140 THIS IS YOUR MOTHER'S HAPPY DAY. 284 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:35,280 - YEAH, WHAT HE SAID. - I'M SORRY. 285 00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,410 - COME ON, LET'S CELEBRATE. IT'S GREAT. 286 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,350 - YOU GO HAVE FUN, YOU TWO. - YOU'RE HAPPY FOR ME. 287 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:41,250 LET'S HAVE DINNER. - HERE, GET THE DOOR. 288 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,090 - WAIT. CAN HANK COME? - NO. 289 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,520 - OH, I'M SURE HANK HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO. 290 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:47,090 - NO, NO, I GOT TO WORK ON MY 85-PAGE OUTLINE 291 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,360 FOR SANTA MONICA COP. 292 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,060 NEW CAREER HIGH, BY THE WAY. 293 00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:51,330 - COME ON, HANK. DON'T BE SUCH A KILLJOY. 294 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,530 IT'S MOM'S HAPPY DAY. RIGHT? 295 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,960 - OH, ALL RIGHT. 296 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,230 - WHOO! - COME ON, GET IN. 297 00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:59,140 - TIGHT SQUEEZE BACK HERE. 298 00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,310 - TO THE CITY OF ANGELS, 299 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,240 WHERE IT TURNS OUT DREAMS ACTUALLY DO COME TRUE. 300 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,850 - TELL THAT TO ALL THE BROKENHEARTED STARLETS 301 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,510 WHO GOT CHEWED UP, SPIT OUT, AND F'D IN THE "A" 302 00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,520 ATOP THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN. 303 00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:13,980 CHEERS. [glasses clink] 304 00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,950 - CHEERS. - I LOVE THIS CITY. WHOO-HOO! 305 00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:18,550 - OKAY, OKAY, GO EASY THERE, MA. SHE CAN'T HANDLE HER ALCOHOL. 306 00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,020 - I BEG TO DIFFER. BACK IN THE DAY, YOUR MOM COULD DRINK. 307 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,390 - THAT'S RIGHT. 308 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,130 I COULD DRINK YOU UNDER THE TABLE, MOTHERFUCKER. 309 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,800 - MAYBE I JUST LIKE GETTING YOU UNDER THE TABLE. 310 00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,900 MOTHERFUCKER. - OH, GROSS. 311 00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,370 GET A ROOM, YOU TWO. 312 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,940 JESUS. 313 00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,270 YOU KNOW WHAT? 314 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,140 THERE ARE SOME SERIOUSLY HOT BITCHES HERE TONIGHT. 315 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,810 THIS IS GREAT. - WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 316 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,940 WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TRYING TOO HARD? 317 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,310 YOU KNOW, ANYBODY CAN BE A DICK. 318 00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,510 BE A GENTLEMAN. 319 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,050 - YEAH, WHAT SHE SAID. - THANK YOU. 320 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,350 - EXCELLENT PARENTING. 321 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,920 - SHIT. 322 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:47,320 - WHAT? - IT'S MELANIE. 323 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,290 - WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT THAT? HE LIKES MELANIE. 324 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,560 - SHUT UP. - I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT. 325 00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:55,020 - THEY NEED ME BACK AT THE OFFICE. YOU GOT TO DRIVE ME. 326 00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,890 - OH, NO, WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED. 327 00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:59,300 WE'RE GONNA RAISE THE ROOF! COME ON, LET'S PLAY SOME POOL! 328 00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:01,300 - MOM, THIS IS MY JOB WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. 329 00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:02,570 THEY TELL ME TO JUMP. I GOT TO JUMP. 330 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,570 IT'S SHOW BUSINESS. 331 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,170 - CAN I PEE FIRST? 332 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,210 - PERMISSION GRANTED. BRING BACK A SAMPLE. 333 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,170 - SO WHAT'S THE MOVE HERE? 334 00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:13,440 IF I FIND MYSELF ALONE WITH HER, YOU KNOW, WHAT DO I DO? 335 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,310 - YOU REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL? - PRETTY MUCH, YEAH. 336 00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:18,050 - THEN JUST MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN, 337 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,420 AND DON'T BE CREEPY ABOUT IT. 338 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,280 DON'T WHIP OUT YOUR DICK OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 339 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,450 - WHY WOULD I TAKE MY DICK OUT? - WELL, YOUR MOM AND I SPOKE. 340 00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:25,190 - SHUT--IT WAS A PHASE. 341 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,420 WHY DID SHE TELL YOU THAT? 342 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:28,360 - I'M IMPRESSED. 343 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,330 I COULD TOTALLY SEE US WORKING TOGETHER. 344 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,130 - THAT IS MUSIC TO MY EARS, GOLDIE. 345 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,930 YOU JUST SAY THE WORD, 346 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,200 AND I WILL START WORKING TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. 347 00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:37,600 TELL ME SOMETHING. 348 00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,440 WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR IMMEDIATE GOALS? 349 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,940 - YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING? 350 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,010 - HMM? - TO RUN THE FUCKING SHOW. 351 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,440 RATH IS A HACK. 352 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:48,080 HE'S JUST COASTING ON HIS RESUME AT THIS POINT. 353 00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,050 I MEAN, IF HE WOULD JUST LISTEN TO ME, 354 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,480 WE COULD TOTALLY FUCKING CRUSH IT, 355 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,220 BUT HIS HEAD IS SO FAR UP HIS OWN ASS 356 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,220 THAT HE CAN'T HEAR WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS SAYING. 357 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,920 I FIND MYSELF JUST SITTING IN MEETINGS, 358 00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,520 LIKE, NODDING MY HEAD AT EVERY STUPID FUCKING IDEA HE HAS. 359 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,660 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 360 00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:05,130 YOU HELP ME GET THE SHOW OUT FROM UNDER RATH, 361 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,230 AND I'M ALL YOURS. WHAT DO YOU SAY? 362 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,000 - IT SOUNDS KIND OF DEVIOUS, ACTUALLY. 363 00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,670 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 364 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:14,500 SO ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BREAK UP WITH "OLD BALLS." 365 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,470 - OH, UNPLEASANT. - BUT NECESSARY. 366 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:21,140 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. - OH, WHAT'S THAT? 367 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,910 - BEFORE THE MEETING, 368 00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:26,080 I WENT ON REDTUBE AND WATCHED YOUR MASTURBATION VIDEO. 369 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,250 - [sighs] I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. 370 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,950 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THEM TO TAKE IT DOWN, 371 00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:32,160 BUT APPARENTLY IT STILL GETS A LOT OF HITS. 372 00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:36,060 - DON'T APOLOGIZE. IT'S KIND OF HOT. 373 00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:39,360 I MEAN, THERE IS NOTHING 374 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,170 LIMP DICK ABOUT YOU, CHARLIE. 375 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,240 - [moaning] 376 00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:27,480 [groaning] 377 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:33,250 [breathing heavily] 378 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,360 - SO WHAT KIND OF CLEANUP AM I LOOKING AT IN THERE? 379 00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:49,500 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE INSINUATING. 380 00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,480 - THANKS FOR CELEBRATING WITH US. 381 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,450 I THINK IT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO LEVON. 382 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,210 - SURE. I WAS HAPPY TO. 383 00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,280 YOU KNOW, YOU DESERVE A LITTLE STARDUST. 384 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,590 YOU DO. - THANKS, HANK. 385 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,750 I THINK YOUR PEP TALK REALLY HELPED. 386 00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,290 - SURE. - GOOD NIGHT. 387 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,090 - AND I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY THIS OUT LOUD, 388 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,360 BUT APPARENTLY THAT'S WHAT I DO, SO I WILL. 389 00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,430 BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT RATH 390 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,800 MIGHT HAVE CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS NOW, RIGHT? 391 00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:26,440 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - WELL, HE DID GIVE YOU THE JOB. 392 00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:30,440 - ARE YOU SAYING THAT HE EXPECTS ME TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM 393 00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:32,140 OR GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB? 394 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,340 - I'M SURE HE'D ENJOY EITHER ONE OF THOSE OPTIONS. 395 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,180 HE DOES FIND YOU PRETTY FOXY. 396 00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,780 - WELL, HE SAID I WAS VERY NATURAL. 397 00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,250 - YOU ARE VERY NATURAL. 398 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,420 YOU ARE. YOU'RE ALSO VERY NAIVE. 399 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:47,160 - JEEZ, MAYBE I SHOULD TURN IT DOWN. 400 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,730 - DON'T--DON'T CUT OFF YOUR BOOBS TO SPITE YOUR CHEST 401 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,760 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 402 00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,800 I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU AWARE 403 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,530 THAT THE BOSS MAN MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. 404 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,370 YOU KNOW, YOU COULD DO A LOT WORSE. 405 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,200 I MEAN, THE GUY'S A SERIOUS FUCKING EARNER. 406 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,700 - HE HAS REALLY NICE TEETH. 407 00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:03,540 - AND HE'S GOT REALLY NICE TEETH. 408 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,770 - SMILE. - DO I HAVE TO? 409 00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,140 - YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN YOUR LATERAL INCISOR 410 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,310 AND YOUR CANINE. - AH. 411 00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:11,250 - LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE HAMBURGER MEAT. 412 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,550 GONE NOW. - THANK YOU. 413 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:13,750 - LOOK AT THESE CHOPPERS. 414 00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,320 THEY COULD REALLY USE A GOOD CLEANING. 415 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,520 - OKAY, I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. 416 00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:18,090 I WILL. I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT. 417 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,190 - YOU SHOULD. - MM-HMM. I WILL, RIGHT AWAY. 418 00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:22,260 - YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY READY TO CALL IT A NIGHT. 419 00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,690 - NO? ALL RIGHT, I'M GAME. 420 00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,300 - LET'S DO IT. 421 00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,230 - JUST TELL ME WHERE TO POINT THIS LEAD SLED. 422 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,700 - OKAY. [engine revs] 423 00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:31,470 - I'M WAITING. 424 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,540 - SO... 425 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,840 DOES RATH EVER HIT ON YOU? - NO. 426 00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:42,310 I GAVE HIM A KILLER BLOW JOB WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE. 427 00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:44,110 HE'S LEFT ME ALONE EVER SINCE. 428 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,450 - REALLY? - YEAH. 429 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,250 - THAT'S SMART, I GUESS. 430 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,190 - [laughs] DUDE, I'M KIDDING. 431 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,690 - [chuckles] OF COURSE YOU ARE. 432 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,260 SO WHAT--WHAT MAKES YOUR BLOW JOBS SO KILLER? 433 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,300 - WELL, WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW? 434 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,900 - I WOULD, YEAH. - YOU'RE FUNNY. 435 00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:06,770 - ANYWAY, RATH HAS BEEN THROUGH A BUNCH 436 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,540 OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT LAWSUITS, 437 00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:11,140 SO HE'S PRETTY MUCH LEARNED TO BEHAVE HIMSELF. 438 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,880 I MEAN, I-I DO CATCH HIM STARING AT MY TITS HERE AND THERE, 439 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,210 BUT THAT'S OKAY. 440 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,480 YOU KNOW, I TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT. 441 00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:18,280 - YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. 442 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:22,350 - ONE, TWO, THREE, EYES ON ME. 443 00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:24,220 - HEY, MEL. - HEY, YOU. 444 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:28,660 - CAN YOU, UH, RUN OUT AND GET ME A NONFAT VANILLA LATTE, KID? 445 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,560 - YEAH. I REALLY DON'T WORK FOR YOU, SO... 446 00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:33,660 - YEAH, BUT YOU WORK FOR THE SHOW, RIGHT? 447 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,400 - YEAH, SO? 448 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:36,630 - SO, IF YOU WORK FOR THE SHOW, YOU WORK FOR ME, 449 00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:38,630 BECAUSE I DIRECT THE SHOW. 450 00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:42,270 - WELL, YOU DIRECTED THE PILOT, EXCEPT FOR THE RESHOOTS. 451 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,910 I GUESS THEY HAD TO BRING IN SOMEONE ELSE FOR THOSE, RIGHT? 452 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:49,710 - COME HERE. 453 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,650 [whispering] LOOK, I HAVE LAID A LOT OF GROUNDWORK 454 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,620 WITH THIS GIRL-- WE'RE TALKING WEEKS OF PREP. 455 00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:55,320 YOU ARE NOT GONNA FUCK THIS UP FOR ME. 456 00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,620 I KNOW YOU THINK 457 00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,790 I'M JUST SWINGING MY BIG, FAT DICK AROUND. 458 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,860 BUT THE TRUTH IS I'M ACTUALLY SEEING A FEW STEPS AHEAD. 459 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,290 NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN HER AND ME, 460 00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:04,490 IT'S GONNA END BADLY. 461 00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:05,760 I KNOW THAT GOING IN. 462 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,730 I ACCEPT IT AS THE COST OF DOING BUSINESS. 463 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,270 BUT YOU--YOU COULD BE LIKE THE SHOULDER TO CRY ON. 464 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,200 SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS? - YEAH. AND YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. 465 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,640 AND YOU COULD USE AN ALTOID. 466 00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:17,840 - [normal voice] VANILLA LATTE. 467 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:22,680 GET HER ONE TOO, AND, UH, DON'T BE TOO QUICK ABOUT IT. 468 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:23,850 HELLO. 469 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,750 - I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW NOT INTO THIS I AM. 470 00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:28,820 - OH, DON'T BE SUCH A PUSSY. IT'S JUST A CLEANING. 471 00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:30,690 - YES, BUT YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING. 472 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,460 YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE HANDLING DENTAL EQUIPMENT 473 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:33,620 UNDER THE INFLUENCE. 474 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:35,560 - WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? 475 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,330 - YOU'VE SEEN RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. 476 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,790 - YEAH. 477 00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,530 - YOU KNOW HOW INDIANA JONES IS THIS ALL-AROUND BADASS? 478 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,700 - MM-HMM. - HE'S LITERATE. HE'S SMART. 479 00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,000 HE'S GOOD WITH THE WHIP, 480 00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:44,800 GREAT WITH THE LADIES, A LITTLE LIKE ME, RIGHT? 481 00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:46,540 BUT HE'S DEFINITELY AFRAID OF SNAKES. 482 00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:47,870 - OKAY, SO? 483 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,570 - I'M DEFINITELY AFRAID OF DENTISTS. 484 00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,010 - OH. - THAT DUDE IS MY SNAKES. 485 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,680 - OH. 486 00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,510 - ONCE, I SAW MARATHON MAN WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, 487 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:55,980 AND I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS. 488 00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:57,480 I WET THE BED AFTER THAT, 489 00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:58,910 WHICH IS WAY HOTTER WHEN A WOMAN DOES IT. 490 00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:01,920 - I'M GONNA CLEAN YOUR TEETH. WHOO! 491 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,590 - SAY, "YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD DIRECTOR." 492 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,990 - YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD DIRECTOR. 493 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,590 - SAY--SAY, "YOU'RE A FEATURE DIRECTOR." 494 00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,960 - YOU ARE A FEATURE DIRECTOR. YOU ARE. 495 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,330 - YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I AM A FEATURE DIRECTOR. 496 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,960 I AM. - YES, YOU ARE. 497 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,430 - OH, I'M JUST DOING TELEVISION BECAUSE IT PAYS GOOD, 498 00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:18,030 BUT I'M CLOSE. OH! - OH, YEAH. 499 00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,440 - I'M CLOSE. I'M CLOSE TO HAVING A FEATURE. 500 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,640 - OH, YEAH. YES, YOU ARE. - OH, JESUS, THIS IS AWFUL. 501 00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:24,610 I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO UN-SEE THIS SHIT. 502 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,680 LEAVE THE LATTES AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 503 00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:27,740 OH. 504 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,550 OH, MY GOD. OH. 505 00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,850 OH, SHIT. 506 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,020 - YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS, MELANIE. 507 00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:34,750 YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER. 508 00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,590 HE'S ON HIS WAY DOWN. I'M ON MY WAY UP. 509 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,490 - SAYS WHO? - MY FATHER. 510 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,920 - I KNEW IT. THAT FUCKING GUY-- 511 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,960 HE LIVES TO FUCK MY SHIT UP! HE'S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE! 512 00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,760 - HEY, THAT'S MY FATHER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! 513 00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:48,700 - YEAH, YOUR FATHER IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE! 514 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,030 - YOU'RE A DICK. YOU KNOW THAT? 515 00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,370 - YOU'RE THE DICK. 516 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,970 - YOU. - I HATE YOU. 517 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,840 - YOU'RE A DICK! - YOUR DAD IS RUINING MY LIFE. 518 00:20:57,870 --> 00:20:59,980 - GET OFF ME. - GOD DAMN IT. 519 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,040 WHAT THE FUCK? YOU HAVE A GUN IN THERE? 520 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,510 - SMELL MY FINGER. - OW. NO, NEVER! 521 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:08,550 - SMELL MY FINGERS. - GOD, FUCK ME, MAN. 522 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:12,790 - FUCKING ASSHOLE. - YOU'RE A SICK BASTARD. 523 00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:15,520 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE INTO THAT GUY, MELANIE. 524 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,930 HE--HE'S ON HIS WAY DOWN. 525 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,890 I'M ON MY WAY UP THE LADDER. I'M CLIMBING. 526 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:22,800 - I DON'T MEAN THIS THE WAY IT SOUNDS, BUT YOU'RE A P.A. 527 00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:25,400 HE'S DIRECTED MOVIES. - SHITTY MOVIES. 528 00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:27,400 AND WHAT OTHER WAY COULD THAT HAVE POSSIBLY SOUNDED? 529 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,340 - HE OWNS A HOME AND A CAR. 530 00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:32,010 - THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT-- POSSESSIONS? 531 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:37,080 ANYONE CAN BUY STUFF. NOT EVERYONE HAS ONE OF THESE. 532 00:21:39,450 --> 00:21:41,920 - OH. 533 00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:44,990 YOU HAVE A SURPRISINGLY BIG DICK. 534 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,690 - THANKS. 535 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:51,030 - OH, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO BE WITH YOU, LEVON. 536 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,500 - [slurring] THIS IS NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. 537 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:02,540 - I TOLD YOU SO. 538 00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:04,370 - YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT THE CLEANING OF TEETH. 539 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:05,970 - FUCKING "A" RIGHT I AM. 540 00:22:06,010 --> 00:22:07,540 - CAN I HAVE ANOTHER HIT OF THE NITROUS? 541 00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:08,940 - NO. COME ON. YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. 542 00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:10,580 - [normal voice] YOU DIDN'T SEE ME CUTTING YOU OFF 543 00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:12,820 WHEN WE WERE AT THE BAR, DID YOU? 544 00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:13,950 - CLOSE YOUR MOUTH. 545 00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:15,620 YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO SEE A DENTIST 546 00:22:15,650 --> 00:22:17,150 ON A MORE REGULAR BASIS. 547 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:20,020 I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH HOW IMPORTANT GOOD ORAL HYGIENE IS. 548 00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,620 - [slurring]] STOP SAYING THAT. 549 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,560 - WHAT? - "ORAL." IT'S TURNING ME ON. 550 00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,890 HA HA HA. 551 00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:27,700 - IT'S GOOD TO KNOW I STILL TURN YOU ON. 552 00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:28,960 - THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT YOU 553 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,530 THAT WOULDN'T TURN A PERSON ON, LADY. 554 00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:31,830 - REALLY? - MM. 555 00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:33,140 - IT DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES. 556 00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:36,510 - [normal voice] NO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS EVER? 557 00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:38,140 - I MEAN, THERE WERE A FEW THINGS 558 00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:41,110 THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING, BUT LEVON ALWAYS GOT IN THE WAY. 559 00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,750 I JUST--I WANTED TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO COULD EMBRACE HIM 560 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,510 FOR WHO HE IS AND ALSO, YOU KNOW, 561 00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:48,620 PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE IN HIS LIFE, BUT I GUESS THAT'S A LOT TO ASK. 562 00:22:48,650 --> 00:22:49,890 - HMM. 563 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,620 WELL, THIS COULD BE THE NITROUS TALKING, 564 00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:52,960 BUT I THINK HE'S KIND OF A GREAT KID. 565 00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,690 HE'S REALLY-- HE'S KIND OF AWESOME 566 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,830 IN AN INITIALLY OFF-PUTTING KIND OF WAY. 567 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,500 IT'S WEIRD. - I KNOW, RIGHT? 568 00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:00,930 HE'S A REALLY GOOD KID. - YEAH. 569 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,500 - HE'S GOT A GREAT HEART. 570 00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:04,730 - WELL, HE GETS THAT FROM YOU, FROM HIS MOM. 571 00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:06,200 - WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR. - WHAT? 572 00:23:06,230 --> 00:23:08,640 - YOU'RE JUST COMPLIMENTING ME ON MY MOTHERING SKILLS 573 00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:10,640 WHEN I'M SO CLOSE TO YOU? 574 00:23:10,670 --> 00:23:13,410 [both chuckle] 575 00:23:24,850 --> 00:23:26,990 - THIS IS--IS PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA. 576 00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:30,690 - IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. - TERRIBLE IDEA. 577 00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:36,200 [cell phone ringing] 578 00:23:36,230 --> 00:23:37,900 - [groans] 579 00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:40,770 [scoffs] IT'S LEVON. THAT FIGURES. 580 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,540 HE'S ALWAYS BEEN SUCH A LITTLE COCK BLOCKER. 581 00:23:42,570 --> 00:23:44,840 - SHOULD I RINSE? - YEAH, RINSE. 582 00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:46,140 WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY? 583 00:23:46,170 --> 00:23:47,840 - YOU TOLD ME TO MAKE MY INTENTIONS KNOWN. 584 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,810 - YEAH, I ALSO TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE YOUR DICK OUT. 585 00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:51,180 I SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT. 586 00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:53,250 - I KNOW. I GOT CARRIED AWAY. I'M SORRY. 587 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,820 - YOU THINK? 588 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,820 - I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO THREATEN WOMEN WITH YOUR PENIS. 589 00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:58,250 - I WASN'T THREATENING HER, OKAY? 590 00:23:58,290 --> 00:23:59,690 I WAS SHOWING IT TO HER. 591 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,090 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 592 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,930 WHATEVER. I-I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER. 593 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,060 NO ONE I LIKE EVER LIKES ME BACK ANYWAYS. 594 00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:07,100 - I'M NOT SAYING WHAT HE DID IS RIGHT, 595 00:24:07,130 --> 00:24:09,130 BUT I GET WHERE HE'S COMING FROM. 596 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,830 YOU KNOW, HE'S A GUY. HE JUST WANTS TO GET LAID. 597 00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:14,170 IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL. - OH, YEAH, IT'S NORMAL, 598 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,270 BUT IT'S DISGUSTING, AND IT'S ILLEGAL. 599 00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,240 - YEAH, IT'S ALL THOSE THINGS TOO. 600 00:24:19,270 --> 00:24:21,080 BUT WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? 601 00:24:21,110 --> 00:24:24,850 I MEAN, IS--IS-- IS IT HANDSOME AND SPECIAL? 602 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,850 - IT'S PRETTY BIG. - OH. 603 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,020 LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON... 604 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,920 UNLESS BIG DICKS RUN IN YOUR FAMILY TOO. 605 00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:31,520 HE COULD HAVE YOUR BIG DICK. 606 00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:34,090 WHERE WERE WE BEFORE WE WERE SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED 607 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,560 BY YOUR SON'S OVERWHELMING NEED TO EXPOSE HIMSELF? 608 00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:38,760 - MY SON? OUR SON. 609 00:24:38,790 --> 00:24:40,930 - I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS TOO SOON. 610 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,600 - SPEAKING OF TOO SOON, 611 00:24:43,630 --> 00:24:46,570 WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE-- THAT CAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 612 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,900 - I AGREE. TOO CONFUSING. 613 00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,010 - WHAT HAPPENS IN THE DENTIST'S OFFICE 614 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,910 STAYS IN THE DENTIST'S OFFICE. 615 00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:55,710 - SO YOU'RE SAYING IT CAN ONLY HAPPEN IN A DENTIST'S OFFICE? 616 00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:57,080 [both laugh] - NO, NO, I GET IT. 617 00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:59,150 I'M JUST KIDDING. - I'M NOT SAYING THAT. 618 00:24:59,180 --> 00:25:01,620 - I KNOW. AND I'M GONNA HAVE A TALK WITH HIM, 619 00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:02,820 YOU KNOW, ABOUT GIRLS, 620 00:25:02,850 --> 00:25:05,590 TRY TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T GET ARRESTED FOR SOMETHING. 621 00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:09,860 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 622 00:25:09,890 --> 00:25:12,130 IT WAS A PLEASURE CO-PARENTING WITH YOU TONIGHT, 623 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,300 AND I'M GONNA HIT THE ROAD BEFORE THE NITROUS WEARS OFF. 624 00:25:15,330 --> 00:25:18,870 - DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT STUFF FROM THIS MORNING? 625 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:22,770 - THAT STUFF? - MMM. 626 00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:25,040 - LET ME SEE. 627 00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:27,340 - * YOUR HEAD'LL COLLAPSE 628 00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:29,610 - AH... - * AND THERE'S NOTHING IN IT 629 00:25:29,650 --> 00:25:32,850 * AND YOU ASK YOURSELF 630 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,890 * WHERE IS MY MIND? 631 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,790 * WHERE IS MY MIND? - WHOA, WHOA. 632 00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:45,060 - * WHERE IS MY MIND? 633 00:25:45,090 --> 00:25:49,730 * 634 00:25:49,770 --> 00:25:52,000 * WAY OUT THERE 635 00:25:52,030 --> 00:25:55,070 * OUT IN THE WATER 636 00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:57,670 * SEE IT SWIMMIN' 637 00:25:57,710 --> 00:26:05,850 * 638 00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:14,760 * WHERE IS MY MIND? 639 00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:17,260 * WHERE IS MY MIND? 640 00:26:17,290 --> 00:26:23,270 * WHERE 641 00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:29,100 * 48064

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