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1
00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:10,530
- PREVIOUSLY
ON CALIFORNICATION...
2
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,530
- MM. I FUCKING LOVE TEETH.
THEY FASCINATE ME.
3
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,530
WHEN LEVON CAME ALONG, HE
DERAILED THE WHOLE ACTING THING.
4
00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:18,340
- YEAH.
- I BECAME A DENTAL HYGIENIST.
5
00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:19,800
- OH, SO YOU'RE
MY MANAGER NOW.
6
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,740
MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT
GETTING SOME OTHER CLIENTS.
7
00:00:21,770 --> 00:00:25,110
- YEAH, BUT THAT'S
THE OTHER REASON I'M HERE.
8
00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:27,280
- I HAVE A SEVERE NUT ALLERGY.
9
00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:29,150
- YEAH, OF COURSE YOU DO.
- I COULD DIE.
10
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:30,150
- THAT WOULD BE A SHAME.
11
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,680
- [retches]
- OH!
12
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,290
- I-I REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX
WITH RATH'S ASSISTANT.
13
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,490
- WELL, IT'S GOOD
TO HAVE DREAMS,
14
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,820
GOOD TO SHOOT FOR THE MOON.
15
00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:39,390
- YEAH, BUT HOW DO I GET THERE?
16
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,090
- IT'S BEST TO PLAY IT COOL.
17
00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:43,390
- I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
I'M JULIA, LEVON'S MOM.
18
00:00:43,430 --> 00:00:45,130
- H-HI, MELANIE.
19
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,660
I-I'M VERY SORRY I CREATED
20
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,430
A HOSTILE WORKING
ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU.
21
00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:51,300
- RICK RATH.
HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANY ACTING?
22
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:53,770
- OH, YEARS AGO,
IN NEW YORK.
23
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,140
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
24
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:56,710
I'M GONNA LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.
25
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:59,180
I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY
A LOT MORE TALENTED
26
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:00,840
THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE.
27
00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:17,430
- OHH.
28
00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:31,480
OH, HEY.
- HI.
29
00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:33,740
- OH, I KNOW YOU, UH, LOVE
30
00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:36,480
THAT OVERGROWN
MAN-CHILD OF YOURS.
31
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:39,550
OURS?
TOO SOON?
32
00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:41,250
BUT YOU GOT TO STOP
VISITING HIM AT WORK.
33
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:42,750
IT'S NOT COOL.
34
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,550
IN FACT, IT'S SO FAR FROM COOL,
IT'S ALMOST CREEPY.
35
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,220
NO, IT'S CREEPY.
36
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,660
YEP, WE'RE IN CREEPY TOWN
RIGHT NOW--POPULATION YOU.
37
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:53,460
- "A," I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT,
AND "B," IT'S TOO SOON.
38
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,570
AND "C," ARE YOU GETTING
STONED RIGHT NOW?
39
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,830
- WHAT KIND OF APPOINTMENT?
40
00:01:57,870 --> 00:01:59,840
- IT'S AN ACTING APPOINTMENT.
- MM.
41
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:02,640
- YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION.
- AN AUDITION.
42
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,270
- RATH SAID THAT
THERE WAS A SMALL PART
43
00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:05,510
THAT I MIGHT BE GOOD FOR.
44
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,680
- OH, RATH DID, DID HE?
VERY INTERESTING.
45
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,250
- YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA?
46
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,220
- NO, BUT I THINK VERY FEW
THINGS ARE GOOD IDEAS.
47
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,550
IT TURNS OUT
I'M A VERY NEGATIVE PERSON,
48
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,520
BUT I'M WORKING ON IT
WITH MY THERAPIST.
49
00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:17,190
NOT REALLY.
WHAT'S WRONG?
50
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,590
- [breathes deeply]
I'M REALLY NERVOUS.
51
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:20,720
I'M REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS.
52
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,330
- LIKE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA
NERVOUS?
53
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,690
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
54
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,700
WHATEVER IS GOING ON
IN YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT,
55
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,630
NOBODY CARES.
YOU KNOW WHY?
56
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:28,970
'CAUSE YOU LOOK AMAZING.
57
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,870
- REALLY? DO YOU THINK SO?
- I DO. I THINK.
58
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,840
I THINK MANY THOUGHTS,
MANY IMPURE THOUGHTS.
59
00:02:33,870 --> 00:02:37,270
IT'S LIKE THE PUSSYCAT THEATER
UP IN HERE RIGHT NOW.
60
00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:39,710
- WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING?
IT'S SO STUPID.
61
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,450
I MEAN, I SHOULD JUST GO BACK
TO WORK WHERE IT'S SAFE,
62
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,280
WHERE PEOPLE LOVE ME, AND PEOPLE
HAVE TEETH THAT NEED CLEANING,
63
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,420
AND I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
64
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:47,350
I DO IT REALLY WELL.
65
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:48,720
JUST TELL RATH THANKS,
BUT, NO, THANKS.
66
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,420
- I WILL DO NOTHING
OF THE SORT.
67
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,560
YOU CAN DO THIS.
GO ON.
68
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,990
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
69
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:55,830
- BECAUSE I AM FLASHING BACK
70
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,700
TO A MEMORY
OF OUR BRIEF HISTORY TOGETHER.
71
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:00,760
I USED TO RUN LINES WITH YOU.
72
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,570
YEAH, MM-HMM. REMEMBER?
- SORT OF.
73
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,870
NO MATTER
WHAT THE SIDES WERE,
74
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,540
YOU'D ALWAYS TURN IT
INTO A SEX SCENE.
75
00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:07,740
- WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU
76
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,310
TO INTERNALIZE THE MATERIAL
77
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:10,970
WITHOUT THINKING
TOO MUCH ABOUT IT.
78
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,510
OR I WAS JUST BEING AWESOME.
79
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:15,650
EITHER WAY, YOU'RE GONNA BE
GREAT IN THERE.
80
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,920
JUST BREAK ONE OF THOSE
INCREDIBLY SEXY LEGS OF YOURS.
81
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:21,420
- THANK YOU, HANK.
- YOU'RE WELCOME, JULIA.
82
00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:22,720
- [sighs]
83
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,450
YOU CAN GO BACK
TO GETTING STONED NOW.
84
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:25,620
- THANK YOU.
THANK--
85
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,690
HEY, UM, MAYBE
YOU CARE TO PARTAKE.
86
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:29,660
YOU KNOW, ALL THE COOL KIDS
ARE DOING IT.
87
00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,730
IT MIGHT JUST TAKE
THE EDGE OFF.
88
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,500
COME HERE.
89
00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:38,030
A LITTLE SHOTGUN.
90
00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:39,500
- [coughs]
91
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:41,340
- THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE READY NOW.
92
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:44,940
GO GET THEM.
93
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:47,940
[upbeat music]
94
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:55,920
*
95
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,320
- HEY, GET IN HERE.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
96
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,990
YOU TELL ME IF IT'S
AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS.
97
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:38,630
I'M BIASED, BUT, UH...
- ALL RIGHT. MM-HMM.
98
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,400
- HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND, DANKO?
99
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,730
- GROOVY, BABY.
GRANDE GROOVY.
100
00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:42,930
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA
LET ME MAKE YOU
101
00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:44,800
A PERMANENT PART
OF MY WEEKEND PLANS?
102
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:46,600
- WHO WRITES THIS SHIT--YOU?
- FUCK YOU.
103
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,740
I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SHIT.
YOU DID.
104
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:49,010
- I DIDN'T WRITE IT.
105
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,510
IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING
YOU WOULD HAVE WRITTEN.
106
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,880
- OKAY, WATCH.
107
00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:55,750
- THERE'S RULES
ABOUT THAT, DANKO.
108
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:58,480
- RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN,
SWEETHEART.
109
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,020
- SO IS HEARTS, DANKO.
110
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,550
SO IS HEARTS.
111
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,820
WAS THAT OKAY OR--
CAN I DO IT AGAIN?
112
00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:07,420
- WATCH.
SHE'S GONNA LAUGH.
113
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,960
- [chuckles]
114
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,530
- THAT'S IT?
THAT'S THE--
115
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,130
- YEAH, IT'S A SMALL PART,
116
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,660
BUT SHE'D BE THE SECRETARY
AT THE POLICE STATION.
117
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:18,000
SO SHE'D BE AROUND A LOT,
WHICH WOULD BE NICE.
118
00:05:18,030 --> 00:05:19,970
AND SHE'S GOOD, RIGHT?
- SHE IS GOOD.
119
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,040
SHE'S--SHE'S--
SHE'S VERY NATURAL.
120
00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,670
- VERY NATURAL.
121
00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,610
EXTREMELY NATURAL,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
122
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,840
- I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
123
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,580
- I'M SORRY. DOES THIS
MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?
124
00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:33,550
- I GUESS NOT.
125
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,450
- I MEAN, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
- YEAH.
126
00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,820
- BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
127
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,920
SHE IS LIKE A HIT
OF PURE SUNSHINE, YOU KNOW.
128
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,860
SHE'S NOT LIKE
ALL THESE FUCKING DAMAGE CASES
129
00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:45,630
YOU MEET OUT HERE, YOU KNOW?
- MM-HMM.
130
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,630
- IS IT COOL IF I, UH...
131
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:50,900
- IF YOU WHAT?
- PURSUE HER?
132
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,840
- WELL, HER SON DOES WORK
FOR YOU, YOU KNOW.
133
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,100
- IS THAT A CONFLICT?
134
00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,670
- WELL, HE'S NOT GONNA BE
THAT HAPPY
135
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,740
IF HE FINDS OUT
YOU'RE BANGING HIS MOM.
136
00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,910
- YEAH, BUT WHAT DO I CARE
IF HE'S HAPPY OR NOT?
137
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,550
HE WORKS FOR ME.
I DON'T WORK FOR HIM.
138
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:03,950
- THAT'S TRUE.
THAT'S TRUE.
139
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,620
ALL RIGHT,
I GUESS IT'S FINE, THEN.
140
00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:07,820
- YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
TO REKINDLE?
141
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,790
- NO, NO, NOT AT ALL.
- WHY NOT?
142
00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,720
- MY LIFE IS ENTIRELY
TOO COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW.
143
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,490
- OH, RIGHT, YOU GOT
THAT WHOLE THING GOING ON
144
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,890
WITH THE MOTHER
OF YOUR OTHER KID.
145
00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:18,760
- YEAH, THAT WHOLE
OTHER-MOTHER THING, YEAH.
146
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,030
- YEAH.
- GOT THAT GOING ON.
147
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,670
- I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
148
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:23,930
MAYBE THIS ISN'T
A GOOD IDEA.
149
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:25,740
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GIVE HER
THE PART.
150
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:27,040
- NO, YOU SHOULD.
YOU SHOULD.
151
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,840
I THINK YOU SHOULD.
THIS IS GOOD.
152
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,770
THIS IS A THING OF GOOD.
YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TO HER.
153
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,510
- OH, I'LL GIVE IT TO HER,
ALL RIGHT.
154
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:35,710
SORRY.
155
00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:41,050
- GOLDIE,
I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH
156
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,790
FOR AGREEING
TO SIT DOWN WITH ME TODAY.
157
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:44,950
- DON'T THANK ME. THANK HANK.
HE BEGGED ME TO.
158
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,860
HE ALSO SPEAKS
THE WORLD OF YOU.
159
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,090
- REALLY?
- YES.
160
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,090
- BECAUSE USUALLY
HE MAKES FUN OF ME.
161
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,900
- WELL, HE DOES THAT TOO,
BUT I CAN TELL IT'S OUT OF LOVE.
162
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,670
- THERE IS LOVE.
I DO LOVE THE GUY.
163
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:56,970
- THAT IS SO SWEET.
164
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,670
- I TOOK A BULLET FOR HIM,
YOU KNOW?
165
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,540
- NO, YOU DIDN'T.
- YES, I DID.
166
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:03,110
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?
- NOT REALLY.
167
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,180
- CAN YOU SEE IT?
168
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,550
- THAT LOOKS LIKE ECZEMA.
169
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,750
- WHAT?
IT'S SCAR TISSUE.
170
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,220
- WHATEVER, DUDE.
WHAT'S YOUR PITCH?
171
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,820
- OH, RIGHT.
172
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:17,220
YOU ARE A VERY TALENTED
YOUNG WOMAN, GOLDIE FORREST.
173
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,790
I HAVE BEEN A BIG FAN
FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
174
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:23,530
- COOL.
I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.
175
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,830
- YOU WROTE AN EPISODE
OF DAWSON'S CREEK, DIDN'T YOU?
176
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,500
- YES, ABOUT
A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
177
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:30,830
WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT?
178
00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,840
- 'CAUSE I LOVE THAT SHOW.
- BULLSHIT.
179
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,270
YOU DIDN'T WATCH
DAWSON'S CREEK.
180
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,640
- YES, I DID!
181
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,940
I SWEAR.
I STILL WATCH IT IN RERUNS.
182
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,880
- ARE YOU GAY?
- NO, NOT AT ALL.
183
00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,010
WELL, I WAS,
YEAH, FOR A SHORT TIME.
184
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:45,950
PLUS, I WAS JUST PRETENDING.
- WHY?
185
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,590
- IF I TOLD YOU THAT,
I WOULD HAVE TO KILL YOU,
186
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:49,820
BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE
BORED TO TEARS.
187
00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:51,560
- THANK YOU FOR THAT.
188
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:53,260
SOMETIMES WHEN OTHER PEOPLE
ARE TELLING A STORY,
189
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:55,530
I FANTASIZE ABOUT REACHING
INTO THEIR MOUTH,
190
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,830
RIPPING THEIR TONGUE OUT,
191
00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,030
AND SHOVING IT SO FAR
UP THEIR FUCKING ASS
192
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,260
THAT THEY CAN ONLY DREAM
OF SHITTING IT OUT.
193
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:04,170
- WOW.
194
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,940
YOU ARE A MOST DELIGHTFUL
YOUNG LADY.
195
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,570
- DO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY?
196
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:11,780
- YES, VERY MUCH SO.
I THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
197
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:16,150
- BUT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORKING
AGAINST ME PROFESSIONALLY?
198
00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:18,720
SOMETIMES I THINK
MY LOOKS ARE A PROBLEM.
199
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,750
YOU KNOW, LIKE,
IF I WERE A HATCHET FACE,
200
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:21,850
I'D HAVE MY OWN SHOW BY NOW.
201
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,120
- WHO ARE YOU WITH?
- UTK.
202
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,320
BUT I'M FEELING
KIND OF LOST OVER THERE.
203
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,120
- THAT'S NOT UNCOMMON.
204
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,630
HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN ANY THOUGHT
TO TAKING ON A MANAGER?
205
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:34,000
- I HAVE ONE.
206
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,870
IN FACT, I REALLY SHOULD NOT
BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.
207
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,330
- WHY?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
208
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,070
WE'RE TALKING.
WE'RE JUST--WE'RE SITTING.
209
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,040
WE'RE TALKING.
TWO PEOPLE SITTING AND TALKING.
210
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:45,040
- IT FEELS WRONG, DIRTY,
LIKE I'M CHEATING ON HIM.
211
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:47,740
I'M A DIRTY LITTLE SLUT.
212
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:51,050
- BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE UNHAPPY.
- HE'S A GOOD GUY.
213
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,350
HE'S JUST KIND OF OLD,
YOU KNOW.
214
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,850
MY WRITER FRIENDS CALL HIM
"OLD BALLS."
215
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:57,950
HE JUST SEEMS IMPOTENT.
216
00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,790
- ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT
THE APPROPRIATE WORD.
217
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:03,230
- IT IS THE PERFECT WORD.
HE'S A REAL LIMP DICK.
218
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:07,700
- YEAH, WELL, SOMETIMES THOSE
LIMP DICKS CAN SURPRISE YOU.
219
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:10,330
- ARE YOU DOING SOME KIND OF
A WEIRD REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
220
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:12,340
WHERE YOU DEFEND
MY CURRENT REPRESENTATION
221
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,670
AND MAKE ME THINK
YOU'RE A GOOD GUY?
222
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,340
BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY WORKING.
223
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:32,020
- WHAT'S WRONG?
- NOTHING.
224
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,920
WHY DO YOU THINK
SOMETHING'S WRONG?
225
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,090
- BECAUSE YOU'RE QUIET,
TOO QUIET.
226
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,000
USUALLY I GOT TO KEEP TURNING
UP THE VOLUME TO DROWN YOU OUT.
227
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,730
- I LIKE THAT YOU KNOW ME.
228
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,700
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
229
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,970
- I'M FUCKING HEARTSICK, MAN.
230
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,170
- MELANIE?
- MELANIE.
231
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,370
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOOT
A LITTLE LOWER.
232
00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,410
YOU KNOW, WHAT ABOUT THAT, UM,
THAT GIRL THAT WORKS IN POST?
233
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,840
WHAT ABOUT HER?
234
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,380
- YOU MEAN THE ONE
WITH THE LAZY EYE?
235
00:09:55,410 --> 00:09:58,350
- HEY, HER EYE MAY BE LAZY,
BUT THAT GIRL WORKS HER ASS OFF.
236
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,150
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU JERKED OFF TO A GIRL
237
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,120
BECAUSE SHE WAS A HARD WORKER?
238
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:06,190
MELANIE DRIVES ME CRAZY.
SHE--SHE GETS ME SO HOT.
239
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:09,190
I BEAT OFF TO HER AT WORK TODAY.
- OH, SHIT.
240
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:11,160
YOU KNOW, THAT'S VERY DANGEROUS
TO MASTURBATE AT WORK.
241
00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,830
YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR
UNCLE CHARLIE ABOUT THAT.
242
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,330
IT'S NOT SAFE,
AND IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.
243
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,000
- HEY!
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
244
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,830
- FUCK YOU.
- DON'T JERK OFF AT WORK.
245
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,400
- FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU.
246
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,370
I THINK THE DIRECTOR'S
TRYING TO GET IN THERE.
247
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,240
- WHAT?
248
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:24,410
THAT LITTLE WORM,
THAT FUCKING HACK?
249
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,110
YOU GOT THE MOODY BLOOD
RUNNING THROUGH YOUR VEINS.
250
00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:29,110
YOU CAN'T LET THAT
LITTLE WORM GET IN THE WAY
251
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,980
OF YOU AND ALL YOUR
MASTURBATORY DAYDREAMS.
252
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:33,380
SHE'S WAY OUT
OF BOTH YOUR LEAGUES ANYWAY.
253
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,050
- YEAH, BUT HE'S GONNA WIN.
HE'S A DIRECTOR.
254
00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,050
- NO, HE'S A TV DIRECTOR,
255
00:10:38,090 --> 00:10:40,020
AND YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY
UP THE LADDER.
256
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,290
GRANTED, YOU'RE USING
A FOOTSTOOL
257
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,990
AND BARELY HOLDING ON
TO THE FIRST RUNG,
258
00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:44,690
BUT HE'S STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.
259
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,160
EVENTUALLY HE'S JUST GONNA
FALL OFF AND DIE SCREAMING.
260
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,430
I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT LITTLE
FUCK KEEPS GETTING JOBS.
261
00:10:49,470 --> 00:10:51,400
- ME NEITHER.
- HE MUST HAVE FILM SOMEWHERE
262
00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:53,740
OF STU RIDING THE SYBIAN
OR SOMETHING.
263
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:56,710
- I THINK I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
264
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,770
- WHOO!
I GOT IT!
265
00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,440
I GOT THE PART!
I GOT THE PART!
266
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,310
- CONGRATS.
WAY TO GO.
267
00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:02,910
- WHOO!
268
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,480
- ALL RIGHT, CONGRATS.
WAY TO GO.
269
00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:07,150
I'D LIKE TO THINK
MY LITTLE PEP TALK
270
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,480
HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT--
271
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,990
THAT AND THE SHOTGUN.
272
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,450
[inhales sharply]
- WHAT'S WRONG?
273
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,920
- NOTHING.
- AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR ME?
274
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,390
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
IT'S AWESOME.
275
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:18,130
NOT ONLY AM I A 21-YEAR-OLD GUY
WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER.
276
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,900
NOW I'M A 21-YEAR-OLD GUY
WHO WORKS WITH HIS MOTHER.
277
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,460
IT'S SO COOL.
278
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,500
OH, AND THEN THERE'S THE FACT
WE MOVED ALL THE WAY OUT HERE
279
00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:25,030
TO LAUNCH MY ACTING CAREER,
280
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:26,440
AND YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO LUCKS INTO A JOB.
281
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:28,140
GOOD FOR YOU, MOM.
GOOD FOR YOU.
282
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,340
- HEY, STOP BEING SUCH
A SNOTTY LITTLE KILLJOY.
283
00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:32,140
THIS IS YOUR MOTHER'S
HAPPY DAY.
284
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:35,280
- YEAH, WHAT HE SAID.
- I'M SORRY.
285
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,410
- COME ON, LET'S CELEBRATE.
IT'S GREAT.
286
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,350
- YOU GO HAVE FUN, YOU TWO.
- YOU'RE HAPPY FOR ME.
287
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:41,250
LET'S HAVE DINNER.
- HERE, GET THE DOOR.
288
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,090
- WAIT. CAN HANK COME?
- NO.
289
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,520
- OH, I'M SURE HANK
HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO.
290
00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:47,090
- NO, NO, I GOT TO WORK
ON MY 85-PAGE OUTLINE
291
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,360
FOR SANTA MONICA COP.
292
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,060
NEW CAREER HIGH,
BY THE WAY.
293
00:11:50,090 --> 00:11:51,330
- COME ON, HANK.
DON'T BE SUCH A KILLJOY.
294
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,530
IT'S MOM'S HAPPY DAY.
RIGHT?
295
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,960
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
296
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,230
- WHOO!
- COME ON, GET IN.
297
00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:59,140
- TIGHT SQUEEZE BACK HERE.
298
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,310
- TO THE CITY OF ANGELS,
299
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,240
WHERE IT TURNS OUT DREAMS
ACTUALLY DO COME TRUE.
300
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,850
- TELL THAT TO
ALL THE BROKENHEARTED STARLETS
301
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,510
WHO GOT CHEWED UP,
SPIT OUT, AND F'D IN THE "A"
302
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,520
ATOP THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN.
303
00:12:12,550 --> 00:12:13,980
CHEERS.
[glasses clink]
304
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,950
- CHEERS.
- I LOVE THIS CITY. WHOO-HOO!
305
00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:18,550
- OKAY, OKAY, GO EASY THERE, MA.
SHE CAN'T HANDLE HER ALCOHOL.
306
00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,020
- I BEG TO DIFFER. BACK IN
THE DAY, YOUR MOM COULD DRINK.
307
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,390
- THAT'S RIGHT.
308
00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,130
I COULD DRINK YOU
UNDER THE TABLE, MOTHERFUCKER.
309
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,800
- MAYBE I JUST LIKE
GETTING YOU UNDER THE TABLE.
310
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,900
MOTHERFUCKER.
- OH, GROSS.
311
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,370
GET A ROOM, YOU TWO.
312
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,940
JESUS.
313
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,270
YOU KNOW WHAT?
314
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,140
THERE ARE SOME SERIOUSLY
HOT BITCHES HERE TONIGHT.
315
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,810
THIS IS GREAT.
- WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
316
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,940
WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU
ABOUT TRYING TOO HARD?
317
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,310
YOU KNOW,
ANYBODY CAN BE A DICK.
318
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,510
BE A GENTLEMAN.
319
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,050
- YEAH, WHAT SHE SAID.
- THANK YOU.
320
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,350
- EXCELLENT PARENTING.
321
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,920
- SHIT.
322
00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:47,320
- WHAT?
- IT'S MELANIE.
323
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:50,290
- WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT THAT?
HE LIKES MELANIE.
324
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,560
- SHUT UP.
- I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT.
325
00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:55,020
- THEY NEED ME BACK AT
THE OFFICE. YOU GOT TO DRIVE ME.
326
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,890
- OH, NO,
WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.
327
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:59,300
WE'RE GONNA RAISE THE ROOF!
COME ON, LET'S PLAY SOME POOL!
328
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:01,300
- MOM, THIS IS MY JOB
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.
329
00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:02,570
THEY TELL ME TO JUMP.
I GOT TO JUMP.
330
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,570
IT'S SHOW BUSINESS.
331
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,170
- CAN I PEE FIRST?
332
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,210
- PERMISSION GRANTED.
BRING BACK A SAMPLE.
333
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,170
- SO WHAT'S THE MOVE HERE?
334
00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:13,440
IF I FIND MYSELF ALONE WITH HER,
YOU KNOW, WHAT DO I DO?
335
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,310
- YOU REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL?
- PRETTY MUCH, YEAH.
336
00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:18,050
- THEN JUST MAKE
YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN,
337
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,420
AND DON'T BE CREEPY ABOUT IT.
338
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,280
DON'T WHIP OUT YOUR DICK
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
339
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,450
- WHY WOULD I TAKE MY DICK OUT?
- WELL, YOUR MOM AND I SPOKE.
340
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:25,190
- SHUT--IT WAS A PHASE.
341
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,420
WHY DID SHE TELL YOU THAT?
342
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:28,360
- I'M IMPRESSED.
343
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,330
I COULD TOTALLY SEE US
WORKING TOGETHER.
344
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,130
- THAT IS MUSIC
TO MY EARS, GOLDIE.
345
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,930
YOU JUST SAY THE WORD,
346
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,200
AND I WILL START WORKING
TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
347
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:37,600
TELL ME SOMETHING.
348
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,440
WHAT ARE SOME
OF YOUR IMMEDIATE GOALS?
349
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,940
- YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT
MORE THAN ANYTHING?
350
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,010
- HMM?
- TO RUN THE FUCKING SHOW.
351
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,440
RATH IS A HACK.
352
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:48,080
HE'S JUST COASTING
ON HIS RESUME AT THIS POINT.
353
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,050
I MEAN, IF HE WOULD
JUST LISTEN TO ME,
354
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,480
WE COULD TOTALLY
FUCKING CRUSH IT,
355
00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,220
BUT HIS HEAD IS
SO FAR UP HIS OWN ASS
356
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,220
THAT HE CAN'T HEAR
WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS SAYING.
357
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,920
I FIND MYSELF JUST
SITTING IN MEETINGS,
358
00:13:56,950 --> 00:14:00,520
LIKE, NODDING MY HEAD AT EVERY
STUPID FUCKING IDEA HE HAS.
359
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,660
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
360
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:05,130
YOU HELP ME GET THE SHOW
OUT FROM UNDER RATH,
361
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,230
AND I'M ALL YOURS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
362
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,000
- IT SOUNDS KIND OF DEVIOUS,
ACTUALLY.
363
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,670
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
364
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:14,500
SO ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS BREAK UP WITH "OLD BALLS."
365
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:18,470
- OH, UNPLEASANT.
- BUT NECESSARY.
366
00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:21,140
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
- OH, WHAT'S THAT?
367
00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,910
- BEFORE THE MEETING,
368
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:26,080
I WENT ON REDTUBE AND WATCHED
YOUR MASTURBATION VIDEO.
369
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,250
- [sighs]
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
370
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,950
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THEM
TO TAKE IT DOWN,
371
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:32,160
BUT APPARENTLY
IT STILL GETS A LOT OF HITS.
372
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:36,060
- DON'T APOLOGIZE.
IT'S KIND OF HOT.
373
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:39,360
I MEAN, THERE IS NOTHING
374
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,170
LIMP DICK ABOUT YOU, CHARLIE.
375
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,240
- [moaning]
376
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:27,480
[groaning]
377
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:33,250
[breathing heavily]
378
00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,360
- SO WHAT KIND OF CLEANUP
AM I LOOKING AT IN THERE?
379
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:49,500
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE INSINUATING.
380
00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,480
- THANKS FOR
CELEBRATING WITH US.
381
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,450
I THINK IT REALLY
MEANT A LOT TO LEVON.
382
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,210
- SURE.
I WAS HAPPY TO.
383
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,280
YOU KNOW, YOU DESERVE
A LITTLE STARDUST.
384
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,590
YOU DO.
- THANKS, HANK.
385
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,750
I THINK YOUR PEP TALK
REALLY HELPED.
386
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,290
- SURE.
- GOOD NIGHT.
387
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,090
- AND I PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T SAY THIS OUT LOUD,
388
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,360
BUT APPARENTLY
THAT'S WHAT I DO, SO I WILL.
389
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:20,430
BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT RATH
390
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:22,800
MIGHT HAVE CERTAIN
EXPECTATIONS NOW, RIGHT?
391
00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:26,440
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- WELL, HE DID GIVE YOU THE JOB.
392
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:30,440
- ARE YOU SAYING THAT HE EXPECTS
ME TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM
393
00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:32,140
OR GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB?
394
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,340
- I'M SURE HE'D ENJOY
EITHER ONE OF THOSE OPTIONS.
395
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,180
HE DOES FIND YOU PRETTY FOXY.
396
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,780
- WELL, HE SAID
I WAS VERY NATURAL.
397
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:40,250
- YOU ARE VERY NATURAL.
398
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,420
YOU ARE.
YOU'RE ALSO VERY NAIVE.
399
00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:47,160
- JEEZ, MAYBE
I SHOULD TURN IT DOWN.
400
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,730
- DON'T--DON'T CUT OFF
YOUR BOOBS TO SPITE YOUR CHEST
401
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,760
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
402
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,800
I'M JUST TRYING
TO MAKE YOU AWARE
403
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,530
THAT THE BOSS MAN
MIGHT HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU.
404
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,370
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD DO
A LOT WORSE.
405
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,200
I MEAN, THE GUY'S
A SERIOUS FUCKING EARNER.
406
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,700
- HE HAS REALLY NICE TEETH.
407
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:03,540
- AND HE'S GOT REALLY
NICE TEETH.
408
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,770
- SMILE.
- DO I HAVE TO?
409
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,140
- YOU HAVE SOMETHING
BETWEEN YOUR LATERAL INCISOR
410
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:09,310
AND YOUR CANINE.
- AH.
411
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:11,250
- LOOKS LIKE
A LITTLE HAMBURGER MEAT.
412
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,550
GONE NOW.
- THANK YOU.
413
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:13,750
- LOOK AT THESE CHOPPERS.
414
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,320
THEY COULD REALLY USE
A GOOD CLEANING.
415
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,520
- OKAY, I'LL MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT.
416
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:18,090
I WILL.
I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.
417
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,190
- YOU SHOULD.
- MM-HMM. I WILL, RIGHT AWAY.
418
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:22,260
- YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY
READY TO CALL IT A NIGHT.
419
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,690
- NO?
ALL RIGHT, I'M GAME.
420
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,300
- LET'S DO IT.
421
00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,230
- JUST TELL ME WHERE
TO POINT THIS LEAD SLED.
422
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,700
- OKAY.
[engine revs]
423
00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:31,470
- I'M WAITING.
424
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,540
- SO...
425
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:38,840
DOES RATH EVER HIT ON YOU?
- NO.
426
00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:42,310
I GAVE HIM A KILLER BLOW JOB
WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE.
427
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:44,110
HE'S LEFT ME ALONE EVER SINCE.
428
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,450
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
429
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,250
- THAT'S SMART, I GUESS.
430
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,190
- [laughs]
DUDE, I'M KIDDING.
431
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,690
- [chuckles]
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
432
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,260
SO WHAT--WHAT MAKES
YOUR BLOW JOBS SO KILLER?
433
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,300
- WELL, WOULDN'T
YOU LIKE TO KNOW?
434
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,900
- I WOULD, YEAH.
- YOU'RE FUNNY.
435
00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:06,770
- ANYWAY,
RATH HAS BEEN THROUGH A BUNCH
436
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,540
OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT
LAWSUITS,
437
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:11,140
SO HE'S PRETTY MUCH
LEARNED TO BEHAVE HIMSELF.
438
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,880
I MEAN, I-I DO CATCH HIM STARING
AT MY TITS HERE AND THERE,
439
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,210
BUT THAT'S OKAY.
440
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,480
YOU KNOW, I TAKE IT
AS A COMPLIMENT.
441
00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:18,280
- YOU TOTALLY SHOULD.
442
00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:22,350
- ONE, TWO, THREE, EYES ON ME.
443
00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:24,220
- HEY, MEL.
- HEY, YOU.
444
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:28,660
- CAN YOU, UH, RUN OUT AND GET
ME A NONFAT VANILLA LATTE, KID?
445
00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:31,560
- YEAH. I REALLY DON'T WORK
FOR YOU, SO...
446
00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:33,660
- YEAH, BUT YOU WORK
FOR THE SHOW, RIGHT?
447
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,400
- YEAH, SO?
448
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:36,630
- SO, IF YOU WORK FOR THE SHOW,
YOU WORK FOR ME,
449
00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:38,630
BECAUSE I DIRECT THE SHOW.
450
00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:42,270
- WELL, YOU DIRECTED THE PILOT,
EXCEPT FOR THE RESHOOTS.
451
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,910
I GUESS THEY HAD TO BRING IN
SOMEONE ELSE FOR THOSE, RIGHT?
452
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:49,710
- COME HERE.
453
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,650
[whispering] LOOK, I HAVE LAID
A LOT OF GROUNDWORK
454
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,620
WITH THIS GIRL--
WE'RE TALKING WEEKS OF PREP.
455
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:55,320
YOU ARE NOT GONNA
FUCK THIS UP FOR ME.
456
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,620
I KNOW YOU THINK
457
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,790
I'M JUST SWINGING
MY BIG, FAT DICK AROUND.
458
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,860
BUT THE TRUTH IS I'M ACTUALLY
SEEING A FEW STEPS AHEAD.
459
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,290
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
BETWEEN HER AND ME,
460
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:04,490
IT'S GONNA END BADLY.
461
00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:05,760
I KNOW THAT GOING IN.
462
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,730
I ACCEPT IT AS THE COST
OF DOING BUSINESS.
463
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,270
BUT YOU--YOU COULD BE
LIKE THE SHOULDER TO CRY ON.
464
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,200
SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?
- YEAH. AND YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.
465
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,640
AND YOU COULD USE AN ALTOID.
466
00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:17,840
- [normal voice]
VANILLA LATTE.
467
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:22,680
GET HER ONE TOO, AND, UH,
DON'T BE TOO QUICK ABOUT IT.
468
00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:23,850
HELLO.
469
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,750
- I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW NOT INTO THIS I AM.
470
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:28,820
- OH, DON'T BE SUCH A PUSSY.
IT'S JUST A CLEANING.
471
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:30,690
- YES, BUT YOU'VE BEEN
DRINKING.
472
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,460
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
BE HANDLING DENTAL EQUIPMENT
473
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:33,620
UNDER THE INFLUENCE.
474
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:35,560
- WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?
475
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,330
- YOU'VE SEEN
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.
476
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,790
- YEAH.
477
00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,530
- YOU KNOW HOW INDIANA JONES
IS THIS ALL-AROUND BADASS?
478
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,700
- MM-HMM.
- HE'S LITERATE. HE'S SMART.
479
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,000
HE'S GOOD WITH THE WHIP,
480
00:19:43,030 --> 00:19:44,800
GREAT WITH THE LADIES,
A LITTLE LIKE ME, RIGHT?
481
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:46,540
BUT HE'S DEFINITELY AFRAID
OF SNAKES.
482
00:19:46,570 --> 00:19:47,870
- OKAY, SO?
483
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,570
- I'M DEFINITELY AFRAID
OF DENTISTS.
484
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,010
- OH.
- THAT DUDE IS MY SNAKES.
485
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,680
- OH.
486
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,510
- ONCE, I SAW MARATHON MAN
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,
487
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:55,980
AND I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS.
488
00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:57,480
I WET THE BED AFTER THAT,
489
00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:58,910
WHICH IS WAY HOTTER
WHEN A WOMAN DOES IT.
490
00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:01,920
- I'M GONNA CLEAN YOUR TEETH.
WHOO!
491
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,590
- SAY, "YOU'RE A REALLY
GOOD DIRECTOR."
492
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:04,990
- YOU'RE A REALLY
GOOD DIRECTOR.
493
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,590
- SAY--SAY,
"YOU'RE A FEATURE DIRECTOR."
494
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,960
- YOU ARE A FEATURE DIRECTOR.
YOU ARE.
495
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,330
- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I AM A FEATURE DIRECTOR.
496
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,960
I AM.
- YES, YOU ARE.
497
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,430
- OH, I'M JUST DOING TELEVISION
BECAUSE IT PAYS GOOD,
498
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:18,030
BUT I'M CLOSE. OH!
- OH, YEAH.
499
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,440
- I'M CLOSE.
I'M CLOSE TO HAVING A FEATURE.
500
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,640
- OH, YEAH. YES, YOU ARE.
- OH, JESUS, THIS IS AWFUL.
501
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:24,610
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO UN-SEE THIS SHIT.
502
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,680
LEAVE THE LATTES
AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
503
00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:27,740
OH.
504
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,550
OH, MY GOD.
OH.
505
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,850
OH, SHIT.
506
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,020
- YOU SHOULDN'T BE
DOING THIS, MELANIE.
507
00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:34,750
YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER.
508
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,590
HE'S ON HIS WAY DOWN.
I'M ON MY WAY UP.
509
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,490
- SAYS WHO?
- MY FATHER.
510
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,920
- I KNEW IT.
THAT FUCKING GUY--
511
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,960
HE LIVES TO FUCK MY SHIT UP!
HE'S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
512
00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:45,760
- HEY, THAT'S MY FATHER
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
513
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:48,700
- YEAH, YOUR FATHER
IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
514
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,030
- YOU'RE A DICK.
YOU KNOW THAT?
515
00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,370
- YOU'RE THE DICK.
516
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,970
- YOU.
- I HATE YOU.
517
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,840
- YOU'RE A DICK!
- YOUR DAD IS RUINING MY LIFE.
518
00:20:57,870 --> 00:20:59,980
- GET OFF ME.
- GOD DAMN IT.
519
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,040
WHAT THE FUCK?
YOU HAVE A GUN IN THERE?
520
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,510
- SMELL MY FINGER.
- OW. NO, NEVER!
521
00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:08,550
- SMELL MY FINGERS.
- GOD, FUCK ME, MAN.
522
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:12,790
- FUCKING ASSHOLE.
- YOU'RE A SICK BASTARD.
523
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:15,520
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
INTO THAT GUY, MELANIE.
524
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,930
HE--HE'S ON HIS WAY DOWN.
525
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,890
I'M ON MY WAY UP THE LADDER.
I'M CLIMBING.
526
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:22,800
- I DON'T MEAN THIS THE WAY
IT SOUNDS, BUT YOU'RE A P.A.
527
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:25,400
HE'S DIRECTED MOVIES.
- SHITTY MOVIES.
528
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:27,400
AND WHAT OTHER WAY COULD
THAT HAVE POSSIBLY SOUNDED?
529
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,340
- HE OWNS A HOME AND A CAR.
530
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:32,010
- THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT--
POSSESSIONS?
531
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:37,080
ANYONE CAN BUY STUFF.
NOT EVERYONE HAS ONE OF THESE.
532
00:21:39,450 --> 00:21:41,920
- OH.
533
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:44,990
YOU HAVE A SURPRISINGLY
BIG DICK.
534
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,690
- THANKS.
535
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:51,030
- OH, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME
WANT TO BE WITH YOU, LEVON.
536
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,500
- [slurring] THIS IS NOT AS BAD
AS I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
537
00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:02,540
- I TOLD YOU SO.
538
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:04,370
- YOU'RE REALLY GOOD
AT THE CLEANING OF TEETH.
539
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:05,970
- FUCKING "A" RIGHT I AM.
540
00:22:06,010 --> 00:22:07,540
- CAN I HAVE ANOTHER
HIT OF THE NITROUS?
541
00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:08,940
- NO. COME ON.
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.
542
00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:10,580
- [normal voice] YOU DIDN'T SEE
ME CUTTING YOU OFF
543
00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:12,820
WHEN WE WERE AT THE BAR,
DID YOU?
544
00:22:12,850 --> 00:22:13,950
- CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.
545
00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:15,620
YOU KNOW,
YOU GOT TO SEE A DENTIST
546
00:22:15,650 --> 00:22:17,150
ON A MORE REGULAR BASIS.
547
00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:20,020
I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH HOW
IMPORTANT GOOD ORAL HYGIENE IS.
548
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,620
- [slurring]]
STOP SAYING THAT.
549
00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:23,560
- WHAT?
- "ORAL." IT'S TURNING ME ON.
550
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,890
HA HA HA.
551
00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:27,700
- IT'S GOOD TO KNOW
I STILL TURN YOU ON.
552
00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:28,960
- THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT YOU
553
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,530
THAT WOULDN'T TURN
A PERSON ON, LADY.
554
00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:31,830
- REALLY?
- MM.
555
00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:33,140
- IT DOESN'T FEEL
THAT WAY SOMETIMES.
556
00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:36,510
- [normal voice]
NO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS EVER?
557
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:38,140
- I MEAN,
THERE WERE A FEW THINGS
558
00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:41,110
THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOMETHING,
BUT LEVON ALWAYS GOT IN THE WAY.
559
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,750
I JUST--I WANTED TO FIND
SOMEBODY WHO COULD EMBRACE HIM
560
00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,510
FOR WHO HE IS
AND ALSO, YOU KNOW,
561
00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:48,620
PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE IN HIS LIFE,
BUT I GUESS THAT'S A LOT TO ASK.
562
00:22:48,650 --> 00:22:49,890
- HMM.
563
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,620
WELL, THIS COULD BE
THE NITROUS TALKING,
564
00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:52,960
BUT I THINK
HE'S KIND OF A GREAT KID.
565
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,690
HE'S REALLY--
HE'S KIND OF AWESOME
566
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,830
IN AN INITIALLY
OFF-PUTTING KIND OF WAY.
567
00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,500
IT'S WEIRD.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
568
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:00,930
HE'S A REALLY GOOD KID.
- YEAH.
569
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,500
- HE'S GOT A GREAT HEART.
570
00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:04,730
- WELL, HE GETS THAT FROM YOU,
FROM HIS MOM.
571
00:23:04,770 --> 00:23:06,200
- WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- WHAT?
572
00:23:06,230 --> 00:23:08,640
- YOU'RE JUST COMPLIMENTING ME
ON MY MOTHERING SKILLS
573
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:10,640
WHEN I'M SO CLOSE TO YOU?
574
00:23:10,670 --> 00:23:13,410
[both chuckle]
575
00:23:24,850 --> 00:23:26,990
- THIS IS--IS PROBABLY
NOT A GOOD IDEA.
576
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:30,690
- IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.
- TERRIBLE IDEA.
577
00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:36,200
[cell phone ringing]
578
00:23:36,230 --> 00:23:37,900
- [groans]
579
00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:40,770
[scoffs] IT'S LEVON.
THAT FIGURES.
580
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,540
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
SUCH A LITTLE COCK BLOCKER.
581
00:23:42,570 --> 00:23:44,840
- SHOULD I RINSE?
- YEAH, RINSE.
582
00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:46,140
WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY?
583
00:23:46,170 --> 00:23:47,840
- YOU TOLD ME TO MAKE
MY INTENTIONS KNOWN.
584
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,810
- YEAH, I ALSO TOLD YOU
NOT TO TAKE YOUR DICK OUT.
585
00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:51,180
I SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT.
586
00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:53,250
- I KNOW. I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I'M SORRY.
587
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:54,820
- YOU THINK?
588
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,820
- I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO
THREATEN WOMEN WITH YOUR PENIS.
589
00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:58,250
- I WASN'T
THREATENING HER, OKAY?
590
00:23:58,290 --> 00:23:59,690
I WAS SHOWING IT TO HER.
591
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,090
I THOUGHT IT MIGHT
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
592
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,930
WHATEVER.
I-I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER.
593
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,060
NO ONE I LIKE EVER
LIKES ME BACK ANYWAYS.
594
00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:07,100
- I'M NOT SAYING
WHAT HE DID IS RIGHT,
595
00:24:07,130 --> 00:24:09,130
BUT I GET WHERE
HE'S COMING FROM.
596
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,830
YOU KNOW, HE'S A GUY.
HE JUST WANTS TO GET LAID.
597
00:24:11,870 --> 00:24:14,170
IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL.
- OH, YEAH, IT'S NORMAL,
598
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,270
BUT IT'S DISGUSTING,
AND IT'S ILLEGAL.
599
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:19,240
- YEAH, IT'S
ALL THOSE THINGS TOO.
600
00:24:19,270 --> 00:24:21,080
BUT WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?
601
00:24:21,110 --> 00:24:24,850
I MEAN, IS--IS--
IS IT HANDSOME AND SPECIAL?
602
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,850
- IT'S PRETTY BIG.
- OH.
603
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,020
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON...
604
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,920
UNLESS BIG DICKS
RUN IN YOUR FAMILY TOO.
605
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:31,520
HE COULD HAVE YOUR BIG DICK.
606
00:24:31,550 --> 00:24:34,090
WHERE WERE WE BEFORE
WE WERE SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED
607
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,560
BY YOUR SON'S OVERWHELMING
NEED TO EXPOSE HIMSELF?
608
00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:38,760
- MY SON?
OUR SON.
609
00:24:38,790 --> 00:24:40,930
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID
IT WAS TOO SOON.
610
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,600
- SPEAKING OF TOO SOON,
611
00:24:43,630 --> 00:24:46,570
WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE--
THAT CAN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
612
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,900
- I AGREE.
TOO CONFUSING.
613
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,010
- WHAT HAPPENS
IN THE DENTIST'S OFFICE
614
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,910
STAYS IN THE DENTIST'S OFFICE.
615
00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:55,710
- SO YOU'RE SAYING IT CAN ONLY
HAPPEN IN A DENTIST'S OFFICE?
616
00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:57,080
[both laugh]
- NO, NO, I GET IT.
617
00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:59,150
I'M JUST KIDDING.
- I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
618
00:24:59,180 --> 00:25:01,620
- I KNOW. AND I'M GONNA
HAVE A TALK WITH HIM,
619
00:25:01,650 --> 00:25:02,820
YOU KNOW, ABOUT GIRLS,
620
00:25:02,850 --> 00:25:05,590
TRY TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T
GET ARRESTED FOR SOMETHING.
621
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:09,860
- THANK YOU.
- YEAH.
622
00:25:09,890 --> 00:25:12,130
IT WAS A PLEASURE
CO-PARENTING WITH YOU TONIGHT,
623
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,300
AND I'M GONNA HIT THE ROAD
BEFORE THE NITROUS WEARS OFF.
624
00:25:15,330 --> 00:25:18,870
- DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE
OF THAT STUFF FROM THIS MORNING?
625
00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:22,770
- THAT STUFF?
- MMM.
626
00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:25,040
- LET ME SEE.
627
00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:27,340
- * YOUR HEAD'LL COLLAPSE
628
00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:29,610
- AH...
- * AND THERE'S NOTHING IN IT
629
00:25:29,650 --> 00:25:32,850
* AND YOU ASK YOURSELF
630
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,890
* WHERE IS MY MIND?
631
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,790
* WHERE IS MY MIND?
- WHOA, WHOA.
632
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:45,060
- * WHERE IS MY MIND?
633
00:25:45,090 --> 00:25:49,730
*
634
00:25:49,770 --> 00:25:52,000
* WAY OUT THERE
635
00:25:52,030 --> 00:25:55,070
* OUT IN THE WATER
636
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:57,670
* SEE IT SWIMMIN'
637
00:25:57,710 --> 00:26:05,850
*
638
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:14,760
* WHERE IS MY MIND?
639
00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:17,260
* WHERE IS MY MIND?
640
00:26:17,290 --> 00:26:23,270
* WHERE
641
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:29,100
*
48064
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