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[soft static]

[static]

[overlapping voices]

[overlapping voices]

[overlapping voices]

[static]

[digital hum]

[upbeat, bright music]

[music increases, then halts]

-[static] -[beep]

Injured in an accident through no fault of your own?

You may be entitled to financial compensation.

We don't always see what's coming in life,

and sometimes the worst happens.

Whether it be a simple slip on the driveway,

medical malpractice that leaves part of your body

mangled and deformed.

[deep dramatic tone]

If you're in pain, call me, Mosley Rosin.

I know pain.

[female voice] We are confident you'll discover

the difference for yourself.

Unmatched quality.

[male voice] Faster than an eight-cylinder engine.

More powerful than 800 horsepower.

It's Captain Savings at your service at Westridge Automotive.

Hey, that vehicle's overpriced.

I've had enough of you, Professor High Price.

-[thuds] -[groaning] Ow, ow, hey!

[male voice] The more you compare, the more

you'll appreciate Westridge Automotive

-Group today. -[groaning]

How can we compete with that

-kind of integrity? -Shut up.

[female reporter] ...smooth off of Augustus Drive.

Expect delays near Ridgewood East.

A fender bender is holding up traffic all the way up to

Beltline, if you're traveling south,

and up to Ridgewood Valley Road.

And it appears some folks in our city's north side

got a bit of a rude awakening during the early hours

in the morning when several residences

were quoted, "Very sleep--"

[male voice] ...old uncomfortable mattress

and have a good night today.

And get up to 50% of the value of your previous mattress

to go towards your new purchase.

Mattress Mattress Surplus.

Where good dreams are guaranteed.

People always ask me, "Jenny, what makes the perfect sandwich?"

Probably fresh bread made daily.

With the best vegetables cut up just right.

With your choice of chicken, bacon, or ham.

I choose ham.

Oh, but I add one more thing.

She's got the sauce!

[several people] She's got the sauce!

[male voice] The exact right amount of pressure.

And the exact right environment to create something

so unique. Something--

[male reporter] ...reported to be only a mild ground disruption.

A WCC official is now testing

the ground soil around the Crossroads Shopping Complex.

Where patrons were shocked to find--

[static]

[ominous hum]

[man] In an ever-expanding universe of flavor,

do you ever feel like you've seen it all?

Welcome to Buffet Infinity.

[deep breaths]

We're talking pizza, burgers, and...

[man 2] And more.

[man] Opening soon.

[man 2] At the Crossroads Shopping Complex.

[man] With a beautifully designed interior and exterior.

Please park around front of the building.

Yum yum, beef tacos.

You'll be asking for seconds, thirds...

-[man 2] And more. -[man] ...and more.

Right next to the Pet n' Play and Brooks Electronics.

[man 2] Plenty of parking around the front of the building.

[man] You are gonna love the--

[female voice] ...is putting on a brave face.

Hiding everything going on inside?

Anxiety and depression?

Stubborn thoughts of inadequacy?

Feeling like your goals are so far out of reach,

you turn to unhealthy decision-making?

Find the better you, inside.

Talk to your doctor about new--

[male voice] ...the most modern stereos, electronics, and appliances.

Great deals every day.

Locally owned and operative.

Brooks. The future is where--

[news anchor] Warning residents to not throw trash

or other items into the sinkhole.

And that it will result in a fine by the city.

And could potentially result in further erosion

to what they call a very vulnerable a--

[female voice] ...place for your dog to go when you're on the go?

Try Pet n' Play.

A dog-sitting service that

loves your dogs almost as much as--

I'm thinking about whether my famous

beef stroganoff will still be warm by

the time I make it to the potluck.

What I'm not thinking about is road conditions.

Oncoming traffic.

And certainly not my car insurance payments.

-[tires screech] -[crash]

[car honking]

[lively music]

Something like this could really affect my premiums.

Good thing I got Steve Babbacock

and I secured my monthly payments for a year.

The hardest thing I'm going to have to do

is explain this to my h--

[female voice] Get the lowest prices

guaranteed.

Buy USFA T-bone steak

for 2.88 per kilograms.

That's 56 cents cheaper than our--

[Jenny] Jenny's signature sandwich sauce that is.

But what makes it so tasty?

Shh. Family secret.

When people ask me what makes the perfect sandwich,

I have to say, "I don't know."

Because it's not about finding perfection.

It's about finding something that you love.

And hoping that other people like it too.

[chuckles softly] 'Cause at Je--

[female voice] ...five people prefer fat-free margarine options

in a taste test with traditional butter,

it doesn't take a genius to recognize--

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[male voice] ...over one million dollars.

Only three more days to pick up your tickets

for our fabulous cash prize, or--

♪ Come on down to Ahmed's Pawn You know that it's iconic ♪

♪ If you like instruments ♪

♪ Or used electronics ♪

♪ All the inventory here Is of the highest class ♪

♪ Come to Ahmed's Pawn Or kiss my-- Shhh ♪

♪ Uh oh, she said no ♪

♪ Now I'm selling My wedding ring ♪

♪ Here's some money, brother ♪

♪ Sure to make you sing ♪

[both] ♪ Even though she didn't Return your affection ♪

♪ Come to Ahmed's Pawnshop ♪

♪ I don't ask ♪

[female voice] Mystery in your life?

[reading]

Okay...

How about all the above without ever leaving your bedroom?

Oh, the Westridge Bookfair

-is coming to the Ridgewood Community Center. -[static]

It's only a few short weeks away.

Amazing new and used copies available

of the greatest works of literature

by all the most legendary minds in the history of the--

[male voice] Magic?

Maybe.

An illusion? You decide.

[soft static]

[ominous hum]

[soft music]

[man] Come have a little bit of everything at Buffet Infinity,

where we guarantee to have what you're looking for.

Whether it be fresh salads, homemade pizza,

the best hot and crispy chicken this side of Texas,

with plenty of parking around the front of the building.

It's a new and nicely decorated all-you-can-eat restaurant.

You're not going to believe the prices.

[reading]

And great parking up front.

Try our coconut shrimp, assorted veggies,

our legendary Jamaican jerk mahi-mahi.

It's like nothing that you've tasted before.

-Unlike our neighbors, the sinkhole-- -[man 2] The ground disruption.

...will not be affecting our business hours.

So come enjoy our hibachi bar,

assorted Chinese options. With endless possibilities,

and a menu that's growing every day. [overlapping] Growing every day.

Just off Highway 1, Buffet Infinity.

Always looking for ways to serve you better.

You're gonna love the food.

Having a young family can really be a handful.

After my road accident,

keeping up with the kids all day can really wear me out.

Certainly wears out my finances.

From lunches, to toys,

-to making stroganoff, to-- -[glass breaks]

-[baby cries] -[boy] Mom!

To whatever else might come up.

Under family liability home insurance with Steve Babbacock,

I know I'm covered.

Are you prepared for what's coming?

[female voice] Seafood, chicken, dessert options,

Chinese, and pizza. Oh, my!

With a fun new twist, you're going to have to see to b--

I'm an a-hole? Why?

Because I want what's best for my clients?

Well, I'm afraid you messed with the wrong a-hole.

I want double our asking price.

[phone hangs up]

If you've been hurt through no fault of your own,

and left with permanent injuries,

you deserve to be compensated.

Many years ago, I was born with a small physical deviation.

Nothing serious, but

because it was incorrectly treated by doctors,

it led to extreme discomfort, pain,

and difficulty making friends.

Eventually, I put myself through law school,

and sued those doctors, and now I have my own law firm.

[deep dramatic tone]

[sipping]

I'm the tough, smart lawyer

with my own personal history with trauma.

[female voice] No tipping! Grab a plate, load up,

eat and leave without seeing a single member--

[male reporter] For such a variety of food at such an amazing price,

it's hard not to feel sorry for the--

[Jenny] When people ask me what makes for a great night on the town,

I say, "I don't know."

Sometimes it's having that human touch.

[slow music]

Sometimes it's the atmosphere.

Or being open to midnight every weekday.

Having delicious, classic sandwich options.

And now with fresh mozzarella, salami, and zingy prosciutto.

While not going overboard with way too many different options. We're--

[soft static]

[ominous hum]

And fresh Italiano bread.

[hum intensifying]

Maybe it's a delicious signature sandwich sauce recipe

that's straight from Italy.

[magical whoosh]

Give her the love she deserves

at Jenny's Sandwich Shop.

Now open till midnight.

[male voice] Born on the dying planet of Saveon,

Captain Savings is born with superhero sense

of justice and fair pricing.

[distant evil laugh]

Uh-oh, sounds like trouble.

[male voice] When Captain Savings sees his arch-nemesis

Professor High Price handing out

high-interest monthly loans to innocent citizens,

the captain must--

You'll be able to pay back any time.

Who knows?

Maybe even your life... time.

[evil laugh]

Soon, all will know my suffering.

-Uh-oh. -[record scratches]

Oh, no, my dignity!

Crap, crap, crap, crap. Crap!

If there's one thing I hate, it's dishonest,

-unfair, -Ow! Ow!

-high-pressure sales tactics. -Ow! My face!

[screaming]

For super deals at super low prices.

[female voice] ...skills to the next level, a premium cookware is here to help.

[female voice] Hey you, trouble recognizing the man in the mirror?

Because of body image issues

and stubborn thoughts of inadequacy?

The better you, inside,

feels helpless when he sees you making

unhealthy choices

that are only gonna make things harder.

He's in there somewhere, and he's waiting.

Talk to your doctor about n--

[soft static]

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[ominous hum]

[digital skittering]

[male reporter] ...one sees the dog, to please

contact the family immediately

and do not try and approach the miniature chihuahua

without its eye drops every five hours, it's legally--

[female voice] ...and unmatched prices are our specialty.

You'll discover the difference for

-yourself when you step in-- -[ominous hum]

[man] ...right place for a night on the town?

Come see the stars in her eyes,

as well as in her various other reassuring

reflective surfaces.

At Buffet Infinity, you are someone special to someone.

You'll feel even more special to them

when you come try out our new special Italian cuisine,

including meatballs, spaghetti with meatballs,

Italian coffee cappuccino,

risotto, blue cheese linguine with mozzarella,

not to mention our endless wine selection

with fresh bread made daily,

just like they do in the old country of Italy.

We focus on a lot because we deliver a lot,

a lot more than just a single type of sandwich sauce.

Deliver a lot of intimate setting

and delicious food for your partner to eat, drink,

giving them energy for intimacy later.

Come and enjoy our intimate fine silverware,

polished metal plates, brass doorknobs,

reflective enough that you'll be able to see yourself

and say, "Hey... hey, that's me.

And I'm with the person that I love the most

-in the whole world." -[glasses clink]

Now open till 1 a.m. on the weekend.

Two doors down from Jenny's Sa--

[female reporter] ...miniature chihuahua

with a reputation of being

curious and charming.

But unknown to the staff of the Pet n' Play,

she was also looking to go on her own adventure.

I didn't understand how she could get out of the building...

[female reporter] When Stephenie Dubeki left her furry friend Shiva

at the local pet sitting facility,

she had no idea it would lead to a story

of perseverance, faith, and the--

[Jenny] People are always asking me, "What's your goal?"

Our goal is to make great sandwiches that we believe in.

-When you have real ingredients made by real people, -[soft static]

it doesn't matter what gimmicks the other guys try and pull.

Oh, and did I mention?

She's got the sauce.

She's got the sauce.

-She's got the sauce. -She's got the sauce.

[Jenny] Also, we're the only restaurant

that offers the Avery family secret sauce.

Dating back nearly a hundred years

to my grandmother in Italy.

And if it's good enough for her...

It's good enough for me.

It just goes to show, when you make the right choice,

-you don't need endless options. -[soft static]

Though, this Canada Day, we will be including

something extra special.

[ominous hum]

Introducing, banana loaf.

[pulsating hums]

[male voice] ...money-saving tip is to program

your thermostat to recommended set--

[female voice reading]

Receive 50% off with purchase of this and any other edition

of the Serpent and the Starship series

by a certain author, sensei,

religious scholar, and recording artist.

Come by this Wednesday where the man himself

-will be doing a live meet and greet. -[soft static]

Free admission will be given to contestants

-in Westridge Bookfair's Funniest Foot Contest. -[ominous hum]

And there's still time to enter.

Send in a picture of you and your toes

in the funniest position you can imagine.

Whether they are wiggling or--

[Stephenie] I never really gave up hope on her.

[female reporter] This is just one instance

of missing pets that include five dogs,

three hamsters, and seven birds.

The owners of the Pet n' Play

assure WP8i

that the sinkhole in the back parking lot

-of the business was not-- -[ominous hum]

[soft static]

[man] Sounds like something's cooking in the Buffet Infinity oven

this Canada Day.

What better way to celebrate this Canada Day

than with a Canadian classic.

True patriot pancakes.

In all our salmon's command.

Donuts! Perfect for any growing Canadian.

[reading]

Okay, now what's that sound?

-Is that a Montreal crêpe station? -[sizzling]

Yes, it is. But it's also

the sound of our expansion of the recently

foreclosed Pet n' Play next door.

See how sounds can be deceiving?

Double-double down on our BC oysters.

Fresh as the sounds of newly installed plumbing

that could easily be confused

-with something it's not. -[flushing]

That's crazy. As crazy as believing the noises caused

by our new renovations are something they're not.

-[man 2] Mmm, yum! -[man] Hey, where are those birds going?

-[man 2] I don't know. -[man] Maybe stop worrying about

where birds are going and start

celebrating where you're from...

...with discounts on locally themed

dishes like the Yukon cheesecake.

East Coast style calamari.

Hope you love Kraft Dinner.

And introducing our fresh new taste.

Our brand-new top-secret sandwich sauce.

As delicious as any sandwich sauce in the area.

With the sinkhole off Highway 1 no longer expanding,

there's no better time to come by.

Enjoy our new sandwich sauce.

Park around front and explore.

And who cares what birds think?

-Except you, little guy. -[loud chirping]

Now, what's that sound?

Ah, we know!

[man 3] One door down from Jenny's Sandwich Shop.

[female reporter] You may have heard a buzz over the past few weeks

about strange sounds going on in the atmosphere.

Residents north of Highway 1

began calling in firsthand accounts

early Monday with reports of hearing a--

[female voice] ...sounds of you betraying

the better self

you keep locked inside.

Sometimes you can keep that voice down to a little whisper.

-And other times it is very... -[ominous hum]

[voice echoing] ...very, very loud.

But it's always present.

And it always wins.

Time for a better you to fight back and take charge.

-[soft groans] -Now available--

[Ahmed] ♪ Upscale jewelry ♪

♪ Ready to entice ♪

♪ Pre-owned watches At rock-bottom price ♪

♪ CD, DVD A book if you wanna laugh ♪

♪ Not sure what you want ♪

♪ Check our Knowledgeable staff ♪

♪ What's that Strange buzzing? ♪

♪ Feels irrational ♪

♪ Come check out our earplugs ♪

♪ Heavy duty or casual ♪

[playful, upbeat music]

♪ Without these, I wouldn't Get through the night ♪

Without these, I wouldn't get through the night.

What? Yeah, me neither.

[female voice] Safe and reliable car for your family?

Don't worry, we have you co--

[male voice] For a toasty, tasty treat that'll warm you up inside out--

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[ominous hum]

[digital skittering]

[female voice] You gotta hit back at the plaque.

And keep those gums fresh, fit, and ready to--

[Jenny] ...been to Jenny's Sandwich Shop recently...

...hold on to your hat.

-That's big! -[man] That's crazy!

[Jenny] Time to check out our new big and crazy sandwich.

Still got your favorite veggies,

only double stuffed with extra bread.

With your choice of chicken, bacon, or ham.

[man] Oh, man, I'm so full.

[Jenny] Sounds like another satisfied customer.

The only sound you're gonna hear coming

from Jenny's Sandwich Shop.

While it might be big and crazy, we still top it

-[static] -with the often imitated, never replicated

Avery family secret sauce.

She's still got the sauce.

[Jenny] You're as crazy as this sandwich

if you think you can top my grandma's secret

100-year-old Avery family recipe.

-It's made fresh every day and perfected-- -[ominous hum]

[man] But what lies beyond perfection?

Beyond flavor?

Beyond imagination?

[several voices] Sanity and control.

[eerie laugh]

[distorting whoosh]

-[man] The new... -[robotic voice] Beyond Comprehension Burger.

[man] All great journeys start with a single step.

This one starts with the fresh-baked sesame seed bun.

Slice. We bring in the mayo.

[echoing] Mayo!

Buffet Infinity's new

signature sandwich sauce.

So delicious you'll wonder if it's even

our own creation. It legally is.

Crinkle-cut pickles. Aligned just right.

Diced onions. Oops, let's not spill.

100% Angus beef patty.

Fried up on our new flameless grill.

Don't forget one slice of smoked cheddar.

The density has already become noticeable.

-How many jalapeños? -[beeping]

That's how many-- Lettuce!

Don't let it fall.

All right, you got it. Wow!

That's one pretty big burger that's 100% ready to eat.

But hold up one second. One more Angus beef patty.

This time with Swiss. But you know what that needs?

Another generous helping of our signature sandwich sauce.

Really tasty but not enough to base your whole personality on it.

That'd be pathetic and embarrassing.

Top with the bun and it's almost done.

Almost.

Almost. Right after we take a trip to

[deepened voice] Bacon Town.

One strip. Two strip.

[deepened voice] Three strips.

Balance that out with a little bit of spinach.

A nice amount of ringed onions.

Just get them all on there.

And one more Angus beef patty.

Topped with smoked Tavarti.

Now, that's a whole lot of--

[male voice] ...before. Save 25 to 40%

on women's sportswear throughout our s--

[ominous hum]

[man] ...sauteed portobello mushrooms.

And an over-easy egg.

[deepened voice] Another over-easy egg.

One more Angus beef burger with mozzarella.

Layer delicately and carefully

above the other products in our burger.

Easy does it. Don't forget another layer

of that sweet, sweet sandwich sauce.

Very, very similar to other sauces in our area.

But all it is is Dijon mustard, mayo, a few spices,

salt, Worcestershire sauce,

a little ketchup and cayenne pepper.

Wow! That doesn't even sound Italian.

And now here comes the bun and--

No! More crinkle-cut pickles.

[deepened voice] Okay, and we're adding shrimp?

All right. All right.

And sprouts?

[chuckles] Okay, and rigato--

[male voice] Tired of one mattress brand telling you one thing

and another one telling you something else?

One has a high price with great arch support.

-The other has a low price, but without the arch support in-- -[ominous hum]

[man] ...know you could use this breaded chicken breast as a mattress. It's that big.

-What are we gonna top it with? -[man 2] I wouldn't be embarrassed

to add a little bit more sandwich sauce.

[man] The same way a lot of people aren't embarrassed

to make accusations against other businesses

when they themselves pretend to be Italian

when they have a very obviously Scottish last name.

...at 50% interest on their next vehicle purchase. [evil laugh]

-Soon, all will know my-- Ah! -[record scratch]

Oh, no, not again.

50% interest?

-Even for you, that's a new low. -[Professor] Oh, crap.

-[explosion] -[screams]

Oh, my God. Ow.

Come to Westridge Auto where you can enjoy employee pricing plus.

Employee pricing plus?

What's that mean?

It means...

[reading]

...on your new vehicle. Guaranteed.

[Professor] Ah! Can you not hear that horrible never-ending noise?

The only thing I can hear is the great prices

on select all-wheel drive vehicles

and hatchbacks in our lot.

[male voice] It's called front and back speakers to block out anything

that may or may not be in everybody's head.

It's Captain Savings at your service. At West--

[man] Well, Captain, these fresh Italian deli slices aren't in your--

Actually Italian, not Ukrainian and Scottish playing pretend.

That's why we always add tons of tuna rolls.

Let's top it all off with a half ounce of calamari. [voice echoing]

Oh, we need something to offset the flavor and I...

Oh, we could use that stupid fucking

bullshit sauce that's mostly ketchup.

[distorted echoing voice] Come and you can see the realm of freshness.

An entire galaxy of flavor.

Squeezed into every single bite of towering... [indistinct]

Science, insanity and control.

[normal voice] And a bowl of our signature sandwich sauce for dipping.

[digital rumble]

-[ominous hum] -[high-pitched ring]

[male voice] Match the colors or match the shapes and...

[female voice] We have produce.

Bread. We have meat.

We have treats for the kids. We even have--

[male voice] Recently lost a loved one?

[soft, bright music]

Can you feel them trying to communicate with you?

Reaching out this very moment?

[eerie music]

Or have they slipped into the in-between worlds

where a thousand lifetimes can be lived

in the blink of an eye?

Help your loved ones escape that lonely, endless darkness of the neither-verse.

[magical chimes]

Explore the Crypto-Numerology

Institute of Spiritual Learning today.

And educate yourself on other amazing new findings

in this man-made limitation we call mortality.

[ominous hum]

They're waiting.

[hum increases, then halts]

[male reporter] ...for city's recent seismic activity.

Updates to the electrical grid.

Others believing that metallic tooth fillings

catching radio signals might be the cause to the ambient hum.

While others believe the noise may be coming from--

[female voice] Constantly being reminded of your own inadequacy?

By being close to things you want but never having them?

[soft, curious music]

Causing you to turn back to old, unhealthy decision-making?

Stop and take another look.

-[ominous hum] -[bright upbeat music]

[static]

Closer.

[music continues]

[hum intensifying]

[hum increases, then halts]

[male voice] Eye allergy relief that

-relieves eye allergies fast! -[magical swoosh]

Try our new, all in one--

[Jenny] People often ask me,

"What is it that makes a community strong?"

For me, it's the people.

Living and working in it.

For some, it's local business.

We're just offering good food at good prices.

And knowing that when something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

And be aware of where that sound is coming from.

[ominous hum]

[woman] She's got the sauce!

-[man] She's got the sauce! -[man 2] She's got the sauce!

[Jenny] It's not about competition.

-[man 3] She's got the sauce! -It's about doing what's right.

[man 4 echoing] She's got the sauce!

The only secret we'd feel comfortable hiding from you

is the recipe for our delicious Avery family secret sauce.

And our real, authentic Italian sandwich sauce recipe,

created by my real authentic Italian grandmother,

-is and only ever will be -[ominous hum]

available here at Jenny's Sandwich Shop.

And be careful what's out there.

Because if they're selling hooey,

that's what it's gonna taste like.

[static]

[female reporter] ...community has gathered to search for

local business owner, Jennifer Avery.

Police not be--

[male reporter] ...sauce and dedication to her

restaurant.

Patrons recall her not just knowing

all of her regular's names, but their birthdays--

[male voice] Thick. They look so natural.

Are you sure this isn't some kind of--

Mm, stroganoff.

[gentle music]

Could use salt.

And my mom could have used a little

life insurance before her passing,

since we ended up paying out of pocket for a funeral.

Leaving our financial future pretty bleak.

[water running]

[indistinct voice in background]

[sizzling]

[female voice] The ultimate in rest. The ultimate in rest.

Relaxation, and--

[static]

[digital skittering]

[static]

[sharp whoosh]

[digital skittering]

-[ominous hum] -[static]

[digital skittering]

[sharp whoosh]

[ominous hum]

[Mosley in deepened voice] Beyond death, all I can see is...

...frauds making false claims about the afterlife.

And taking advantage of people in our community.

[deep dramatic tone]

After the diagnosis of my physical deviation,

both my parents were deeply troubled.

So much so that they turned to a pseudo-religious group.

This led me to emancipating myself

from my parents at only 14 years old.

I don't know much about alternate dimensions,

but I do know in this one,

we have laws against deceptive marketing tactics.

[deep dramatic tone]

Prevent these groups from taking

advantage of members of our community.

-Especially the elderly. -[sipping]

I'm Mosley Rosin.

And I'd say,

"Stick with one of the four major religions."

[male voice] ...outrageous fee for a simple credit card and a simple debit card.

Why not put all of those payments all together onto one--

[female reporter] ...7:05 Thursday evening.

Please contact the WPD immediately.

And now in City Council news, a legal A injunction

has been filed against four private

spiritual organizations in our community.

Specifically those targeting the elderly that--

[male reporter] Mysterious adverts to imply the viewer

is being recruited for some form of psychic--

[male voice] Breakfast...

filled with protein and electrolytes

to start your morning right.

It'll have your kids saying--

[upbeat music]

[engine starts and rumbles]

[male voice] Strange occurrences happen every day.

Buying a name-brand truck with no money down

happens once in a lifetime.

No sign of Professor High Price.

I hope he learned his lesson.

Maybe I'll call it a day and go home and have a nice

home-cooked meal with my family.

[male voice] After mass, that is.

Seeing as I'm 100% Roman Catholic.

Everyone knows that Captain Savings principles

of fair pricing are unbeatable.

Wait, maybe that's it.

That's how Westridge Auto will be destroyed

and everyone will know my s--

[male voice] Instrumental rock standards,

an easy listening on a

four-disc set. Songs like--

[female reporter] As the weeks went on,

so did the search

for Jennifer Joy Avery.

Theories surrounding her disappearance began popping up with some--

[male voice reading]

What you're gonna do with your old mattress,

and any other unpleasantries out of your mind.

When you choose to focus on factors outside your control,

there's not much to feel comfy about.

Come, enjoy.

Someone suspicious hanging out

-where I shouldn't be. -Well, that's okay.

You've already set off my alarms

and you're on camera, on 11 different angles.

-Oh, no. -♪ 15% off cameras and radios ♪

♪ Surveillance technology To make sure no one goes ♪

♪ People going missing ♪

♪ Missing when they shouldn't ♪

♪ 'Cause there's People sneaking ♪

[both] ♪ Around your neighborhood ♪

♪ People go missing Then they're hard to find ♪

♪ Sometimes I wish I'd go Missing from time to time ♪

[female reporter] Controversial dining establishment

is clinging to life after a firestorm

of accusations about suppliers and funding.

And the one question that keeps coming up when discussing the local business--

[soft static]

[ominous hum]

[alert tone]

[man reading]

But also help save yourself.

Hypertension and a muffin top!

[gentle music]

That's right, it's a healthy living celebration

at Buffet Infinity.

The place everybody's talking about.

Don't be scared to come try-- delicious fresh

vegetable salad station.

As well as our clearly labeled

exits to use at your own discretion.

Fresh quinoa. Endless sunflower seeds.

Real Italian vegan lasagna.

Though true Italian or not,

it's what's on the inside that counts.

All-natural honey. Mm!

Milk and orange juice.

[enthusiastically] Olive oil on salad!

Made only with the freshest of sources.

A good place for you to get your news.

Outlandish stories in the media are sometimes

planted to try and criminalize success.

Freshly plucked carrots.

Raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries? Oh, my!

And our one-of-a-kind signature sandwich sauce

you literally can't find anywhere else.

Fruit smoothies prepared every day

by our staff of between 20 and 18 people.

Thank the flavor gods for Buffet Infinity.

As we pray to our regular Judeo-Christian God

for the safe return of troubled

Scottish and Ukrainian sandwich shop owner, Jennifer Joy Avery.

Live healthier. Live happier.

And while living beyond death isn't a realistic goal,

eating right could be your first steps

to living without the aid of substances.

A very common contributing factor

to a lot of missing-person cases.

Try our unshelled nuts. Cashews, anyone?

And our delicious fresh multigrain bread.

Freshly baked each day,

so there's nowhere for the flavor to escape.

Unlike the building which has one, two, three, four...

-[magical whoosh] -and now five different exits to use at your leisure.

After two separate third-party investigations,

never has it been a safer time to come by.

And with that time always moving gradually forward at a steady pace.

On behalf of our company, along with our partner

Constable Dillon of the county sheriff's department--

And our love to the Avery family.

At Buffet Infinity, if it's not coming--

Hi, I'm attorney Mosley Rosin.

One of my favorite parts of serving great clients

is the satisfaction of knowing that

I'm also helping serve our community.

With unfortunate coincidences on the rise,

and biased parties getting involved,

unfair allegations against are in no short supply.

Whether they be attacking honest

second-hand vehicle retailers or a local restaurant,

they're not just my clients,

they're my friends.

People have every right to be suspicious,

upset, or even scared.

I'm scared all the time.

Just because one person goes missing

doesn't mean that everyone else has to lo--

[male reporter] ...third day she was absent from

BJ Mike's Bar and Grill,

her co-workers found her apartment door still locked,

the windows still closed,

her car in the driveway, and her television still--

Oh!

Thanks for the great home-cooked meal, everyone.

This just in, Westridge Auto are liars and frauds.

Their vehicles don't work.

Breaking news, car breaks down as they're leaving the lot.

Also, a developing story on how they...

[male voice] Captain Savings listens to the laundry list of lies

as he becomes an absolute cyclone of rage.

Doesn't matter if I have no evidence for my allegations,

when hearsay and rumors are taken as truth...

[male voice] I wouldn't wanna be Professor High Price right now.

[Professor] I love lying and destroying local--

[bright, synth music]

[static]

[female voice] Some food for thought from

one of the Westridge Movers and Shakers.

Highlighting the movers and shakers in our community,

moving and shaking us toward the future.

This week, a local giant

in both literature, music, new ling--

linguistic spiritualism,

and fully certified podiatrist.

With a sneak preview of his newest book

and long-awaited return to fiction,

a terrifying tale of a deeply

misunderstood author

bankrupt by legal trouble,

silenced by a ghoulish and deformed lawyer,

with a mind as twisted and strange

as his genitals are rumored to be--

Sticks and stones may break your bolts...

...but slander and libel are illegal.

Listen, we all have enemies.

Personally, I have a ton.

But I think we should all be fighting back against bullying.

Many years ago, after some children at my high school

found out some very personal things about my medical history,

they engaged in coordinated harassment.

Nicknames, offensive limericks.

While I was never able to successfully sue any of my classmates,

I was filling up my sports car the other day,

and who was pumping my gas?

One of my bullies.

[sipping]

[deep dramatic tone]

[footsteps approaching]

Just goes to show you, justice finds a way.

That's right.

And I want your bullies to wind up

pumping your gas.

If your business is being unfairly attacked,

you may be due--

[male voice] ...old things lifted up again.

The cycles would continue on each time,

cleansing the liquid of toxins and--

[male voice] For only three easy payments of 19.99,

enjoy the complete collected works

of the Hershey Experiment.

[reading]

Songs like...

♪ Oh, I can't keep on living But I'll never die ♪

♪ I'm gonna live forever And Crypto-Numerology ♪

-♪ Is why ♪ -[ominous hum]

♪ Well, I'm gonna Leave my family ♪

♪ And I'm gonna leave my wife ♪

♪ I'm gonna finally stop ♪

[female voice] How can you be sure that you're getting

the richest, strongest, and most delicious--

[female reporter] ...windows, no broken locks,

no stolen items, and no signs of struggle.

Another local establishment mourns as our city faces

another heartbreaking disappearance.

Join us this Sunday for WP8i's

first-ever live interview

with an anonymous source that believes he might know--

[upbeat, funky music]

-♪ Looking slick ♪ -Thanks.

♪ I'm jealous of all those New threads, buddy ♪

♪ You could look This slick at ♪

♪ Ahmed's Pawn And save some money ♪

♪ So many different Distinct styles ♪

♪ Your reaction Shouldn't be knee-jerk ♪

♪ Winter jacket Sweaters, hats, and ♪

[man] Men-styled Afghans.

♪ So much new stuff In our inventory ♪

♪ So many old clothes ♪

♪ Now, what is the story? ♪

-[snaps fingers] -[magical whoosh]

[male voice] Ready to experience the ultimate in luxury travel with our exclusiv--

[guitar music]

♪ There's a man we thank And he's built like a tank ♪

♪ And he calls The fortified mind ♪

-♪ The onward fortified mind ♪ -[ominous hum]

♪ The energy transfer But it never dies ♪

-♪ The onward fortified mind ♪ -[static]

♪ The onward fortified mind ♪

♪ Oh, why do we ♪

[male voice] Imagine earning points on every

purchase of $20 or more.

Cardholders can use their points and receive other amazing--

[gentle music]

After a night on the town, the kids are asleep,

the babysitter's been paid,

I've just taken a shower, and Frank's in the tub.

And that's where he'll be staying till the police arrive

due to my negligence.

You see, I left my hair dryer on the side of the tub,

and in about 20 seconds, Frank is gonna reach for the soap,

knocking the hair dryer in and electrifying the water,

leaving me without a husband,

and my family without any

-financial support. -[water splashes echo]

With so many unpredictabilities in our community,

be grateful you still have time

to consider a life insurance policy with Steve Babbacock.

Unlike old Frank over here.

-[electric shock] -[Frank grunts]

[upbeat, bright music]

[female voice] What would you get if you squeezed

the refreshing flavor of an orange

into a nice, plump, sweet--

[upbeat music]

[soft static]

[female voice] And now, our WP8i special presentation.

[interviewer] Your anonymity is secure.

Your voice will be changed for the interview.

We will not be able to see any facial features.

My first question is...

...are those who have gone missing dead?

[static]

[soft chuckle]

[clears throat]

Sir?

-Can you hear me right now? -Mm-hmm. [clears throat]

[interviewer] I just asked if the people who have

-gone missing are dead. -Yes, can you... call

an ambulance and bring me a water, please?

-[interviewer] Yeah. -Quickly, thank you.

Nice sandals.

-[clears throat] -[man speaking indistinctly]

[interviewer] If you're not feeling well, then

maybe we can start up again?

Don't have a lot of time left, I would repeat your question.

[interviewer] Okay, sure.

I just asked if the people who have gone missing are dead.

Death is a construct that any consciousness...

-[ominous hum] -[clears throat]

...properly fortified can withstand.

[interviewer] I'm sorry, but I don't-- I don't follow.

Well, re-- regardless of whether you follow me,

right now, it is harvesting your thoughts.

-[clears throat] -[interviewer] Who's harvesting my thoughts?

Something that's grown too powerful

-to be battled in this dimension. -[ominous hum]

-[clears throat] -[interviewer] Okay.

Call the ambulance. Probably hurry up.

-Probably should be here... -[man] Uh, they're on their way right now.

[interviewer] Why exactly do you need the ambulance?

-I don't. -[interviewer chuckles]

[man] Just minor technical difficulties.

[interviewer] Getting a headache right now.

-[clears throat] -[static]

It's almost the sound of a very power--

-[grunts] ...signal. -[hum increasing]

Same power that will soon be coming for you.

[man] Excuse me [indistinct] Hey, hey, hey!

-[growling] -[man speaks indistinctly]

[growling and hum intensify]

[people screaming]

[man] Hey, you. Yeah, you.

You shooting the hoops.

You, just hanging around.

You guys feel like doing something fun tonight?

[ethereal choir]

♪ Buffet Infinity ♪

♪ You could be one And it could be three ♪

That's right, Buffet Infinity is back.

And we got your back.

Right now...

[reading]

No way free!

[man] For real free.

[stuttering] F-- free!

♪ Buffet Infinity ♪

♪ Where you can have fun Wild and free ♪

[man] Forget what adults are saying about Buffet Infinity.

You're a growing kid, and we're growing too.

[comic thuds]

We just grew a new arcade and executive play center.

Filled with dozens of awesome arcade games

with infinite possibilities.

So you could be blasting away at

strange interdimensional weird--

Nah, they're just lonely, looking for a friend.

[man] Or go to distant worlds and explore anywhere you wanna go.

Oh, hey! What's going on in there?

[man] Well, that's the one area that you should stay out of.

Because it's clearly labeled restricted.

Well, that makes sense.

[ominous hum]

♪ Buffet Infinity ♪

♪ Stay out of places that You shouldn't be ♪

[man] Oh, hey, what's the matter, Squidly?

Oh, I just don't understand

why so many adults would lie

about such an amazing fun place.

[man] Well, a lot of people feel threatened by

our fun atmosphere and great prices.

I don't know, I just-- I-- All these

allegations, they al-- they don't add up.

[man] That's why it's so important that you and I know the truth.

Just like our 25 to 30 employees.

Each of them with their own address

and social insurance number.

But the adult media keeps saying that--

that no one ever even sees them.

[man] Yeah, because they're working so hard.

They don't have time to be seen.

-♪ Buffet Infinity ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Everybody's working Too hard to be seen ♪

[man] Smash. Crash.

Slide. Ride.

Hide. Slam. Bam.

Avoid restricted areas.

Into the fun.

[Squidly] But what if I-- But what if I get hungry again?

[man] Well, then you just go back.

And you grab another plate of

whatever you want from the buffet.

[Squidly] Well-- Well, there's only a certain

amount of times I'm allowed to go from the buffet

to the arcade, to the arcade to the buffet

-to the place and into the buffet. -[man] No, no.

No, Squidly. Quite the opposite.

You can go back as many different times as you like

for as long as you like.

And then go back and you could do it all over again.

[Squidly] Wow, all the kids should just really come out to Buffet Infinity.

[man] Yeah, you're telling me.

[Squidly] Right now, while your mom is downstairs doing laundry.

[man] Or, Squidly, whatever she might be doing at the moment.

-[Squidly] Oh, yeah. -[man] Just make sure that you leave a note

-so she knows where to find-- -[Squidly] Knows where to find--

[eerie sting]

[eerie hissing]

[ominous hum]

[overlapping eerie voices]

[Squidly echoing] Stay away!

[man] Did you say something?

[Squidly] No. No, no.

I didn't even mention anything inside.

[man echoing indistinctly]

[Squidly] No, I don't think they did.

I don't think so.

[man echoing indistinctly]

[eerie, high-pitched sting]

[Squidly] Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

-[man] That's okay. -[Squidly] I-- I would never wanna make you

feel uncomfortable.

Because you're actually my best friend.

[man] Oh, my God--

[lively music]

The first 48 hours is crucial when it comes to finding a loved one.

It's time that should be spent searching,

not dealing with your insurance company.

Like any good mother, I'm just trying to make the most

of the resources my husband left me after the accident.

But finding time in my busy schedule,

it's like finding a needle in a haystack.

Or finding two missing boys in a community

already overrun by disappearances.

[music continues]

With the police unresponsive and City Council sitting on their pussies,

it's up to parents and the individual to keep our community safe.

Steve Babbacock has fare compensation packages

delivered fast when you need them the most.

-Keep-- -[melancholic music]

[female voice] Westridge Book Fair is proud to present

our new memorial collection.

Honoring a local legend from our community

and his contributions to the world of science fiction,

neolinguistic research,

sensual massage therapy, and martial arts.

Enjoy the entire Serpent and the Starship series

in a single bound collection, the way LPH would have wanted.

As well as the commemorative copies

of his grief counseling and new spiritualism work,

-[indistinct voice] -only while supplies last.

As the recently deceased author

wrote in the last passage of his final work...

[reading]

[male reporter] "...transferred. Witness me and see the truth.

The blood dawn is soon upon us all.

My only regret is with my sweet junebug, Abigail."

-The author wrote in the foreword to his final book, -[ominous hum]

and the only mention of his late daughter Abigail in any of his--

[male voice] Two-acre property for under a thousand dollars a month.

At one of River Ridge Heights recently repossessed

or abandoned show homes, that dream could be--

[female reporter] A state of emergency is now being issued

for all of Westridge Valley.

Nearly a hundred missing--

...is expected to be brought up as City Council convenes

to fast-track new legislation,

which would give it the power to overturn

business licenses if deemed ne--

[soft static]

[male voice] Freedom.

[hopeful music]

Does it mean freedom from being attacked

by the fat cats on City Council?

Does it mean freedom from a biased media

targeting local business?

Does it mean freedom

for local business to do as they choose

without being attacked by fanatics and religious zealots?

United... we are strong.

[male voice] A great mattress is firm

when it needs to be, and soft when it needs to be.

You wanna make a decision,

but you don't wanna take sides

'cause the wrong decision might cause pain,

of the lower back.

And it's hard to rest with everybody arguing.

-We believe in great mattresses at a great price. -[overlapping voices]

-And that's as much as we need to share. -[overlapping voices]

[female voice] Erodium seed mix.

Discount pancake mix. We ha--

[female reporter] Believing death to be a man-made construct,

followers and fans are requesting the public

not to refer to the gathering as a memorial,

but a power reformation celebration.

Followers have sent our producers

a tape containing a music video tribute

to the author, to be released before the ceremony.

WP8i has elected to not show the music video

due to our City Council's recent bylaws

restricting adverts by newly formed and for-profit--

[lively, upbeat music]

♪ Mad worlds ♪

♪ Will one day return ♪

♪ From the outer realms That will show you ♪

[female voice] ...the thing about coming home to the neighborhood you love,

that makes you feel safe,

and that lets you know you live in the right place.

And there's a lot of people in your city who feel the same way.

Like Westridge United for Independent Business Freedom.

-[ominous music] -Help us prevent

dangerous cult demonstrations

from being performed on public--

♪ The prayer glooms ♪

♪ Still be waiting Here for you ♪

♪ Before you're reborn ♪

♪ There is something We must do ♪

[Ahmed] Recently, certain businesses in our community

have been targeted by vandals.

Whether you're a customer or a friend of a customer,

this should concern you.

As things become more uncertain,

it becomes even more important to protect oneself.

I believe that if everybody stopped getting worried

about how certain restaurants operated,

or where certain second-hand merchants get their merchandise,

we'd live in a less dangerous world

-and a more accepting one. -[man] Uh, you're not

supposed to have that.

[lively, upbeat music]

[vocalizing]

Mosley? Mosley.

-Mosley. Mosley-- -Hush!

I'm on the phone.

Yes.

And tell them to double it.

And tell them that's what they get for messing

with Westridge United for Independent Business Freedom.

Goodbye.

[phone hangs up]

What?

Some family is blaming my nail salon

for their grandmother's disappearance.

Well, they're obviously faking it.

I know, but what do I do?

Sit back and watch the dollar signs roll in.

There are many reasons folks may wanna

fake their own disappearance.

Insurance money,

trouble with the criminal underworld,

difficulty with a partner...

Or just looking for attentions.

Call now and receive a free conceal-and-carry license while you're waiting.

Hey, City Council,

how about you put your curfew legislation

where the sun don't shine?

You know, up your fucking pussies.

♪ Can't carry on ♪

♪ When there's Children crying ♪

♪ We can't carry on ♪

♪ We keep on dying ♪

♪ We can't carry on ♪

[male voice] Hundreds of vehicles in our community

now repossessed or abandoned.

Our city calls out for a dealership they can trust.

I like fibbing and telling lies and...

Huh?

Uh-oh.

[male voice] Playing the blame game

when it comes to unfortunate coincidences in our city,

-hurts us all as a whole. -[wet thuds]

While serious accusations need to be taken seriously.

When you point the finger at someone else, just remember...

-[Professor] No, no! -[gunshots]

...there's three fingers pointed back at yourself.

[rapid gunfire]

♪ Before it gets any stronger ♪

♪ We just carry on ♪

♪ Light a candle Light the fire ♪

[bright, rock music]

[narrator] In a world where what you make makes you...

Listen, myself and some friends just started

this dumb buffet restaurant

and I happen to be a huge fan of yours.

And I just wanted to reach out

and let you know your sauce is really amazing.

[eerie rumbling]

-[woman chuckling] -You mean to tell me

that you've been laundering money

through your sandwich business?

And you've been doing drugs and alcohol?

Listen, I respect you as a woman and a business owner,

but this is not okay.

This is the mob.

[man] Who does this lady think she is?

[man 2] There's disrespect going unpunished.

We gotta show her what it means...

...to be really Italian.

When you play with fire, you're gonna get...

[suspenseful music]

[heavy breathing]

[woman] What makes a perfect sandwich? People always ask me--

-[overlapping voices] -What makes a perfect sandwich?

At least no one will know my secret.

[narrator] She may...

-[suspenseful sting] -[lively music]

[gunshots]

♪ Carry on ♪

♪ We can burn it down Till we die ♪

♪ Carry on ♪

♪ Come and burn It down tonight ♪

♪ We just carry on, just ♪

[female voice] ...feels like something very, very bad

is about to happen to you.

And a lot of other people very soon.

A better version of yourself would know what to do.

[voice deepening] If only that man you kept locked inside had a key.

And was able to release him--

[male reporter] Aubrey Yu, Joaquin Townsend,

Elijah Velez, Ramon Reeves, Harold--

[male voice] Are you tired of other cleaning brands

leaving baked-on and caked-on grime?

Imagine a spray that does what needs to be done--

[woman speaking indistinctly]

[echoing indistinct voice]

[echoing voice intensifies]

[man] Something you're not gonna find in your fridge or pantry.

Maybe it's about time that you gave in to that mysterious flavor sensation.

Buffet Infinity's new Indian-style buffet.

Now open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

That means juicy butter chicken all night.

And any-time naan.

Perfect for dipping, just like

any two great parts of a community.

Working together to create something awesome.

If you're not dreaming now, you will

when you try our famous chutney.

Basmati rice?

Have as much as you want for however long you want.

'Cause we have no plans on going anywhere soon.

Just leave plenty of room for expansion and growth

as we like to do.

In order to learn to serve you better.

And the same goes for those marching for Broadview Park right now.

We pray that your loved ones return home soon.

After your march, our staff of 18 to 20 people

with their own families and loved ones-- and social insurance numbers,

be honored to have you come by

and enjoy some of our butter chicken samosas on the house.

Just so long as we can dedicate the gesture to one that we lost.

Former colleague, friend, and proud Ital--

...oy local business.

We love to destroy local business.

We love to destroy--

Excuse me,

I'm trying to have a seance and you are interrupting.

Well, it seems like you're the one disturbing the peace.

Wait, there's actually laws

against performing large-scale exorcisms?

In public spaces there is.

[deep dramatic tone]

Tensions are high, I get it.

But meddling with forces you couldn't possibly understand

isn't gonna get anyone their dad back.

[male reporter] ...have started making their way down Broadview Park.

Well, unconfirmed sources are saying some demonstrators...

[car passing by]

[ominous hum]

[ominous hum increasing gradually]

[man] You won't be carrying around an empty belly

when you try our late-night lamb vindaloo.

Authentic Indian-style garden salad, anyone?

With fresh vegetables, hand-picked to reduce the possibility

of being infiltrated by questions.

[Carol] Disturbing instances among demonstrators...

[man] Yeah, alleged incidents.

[Carol] ...Highway 1.

Many with loved ones that have gone missing in the past--

-[ominous hum] -[man] And in honor of those who've gone missing in our

community over the last several weeks,

all this can be yours for only 4.99.

4.99 per person, right?

-That is $4.99... -[static]

[overlapping indistinct voices]

Most authentic herbs and spices

-straight from the country of India. -[ominous hum]

But be careful not to overwhelm your palate with the palak

because of its spicy ingredients, it can cause pain.

And pain can cause suffering. Our wish

is to reduce our patrons' suffering as much as possible.

-As suffering is one order you can't really take back. -[ominous hum]

[male reporter] We're waiting for the emergency crews to arrive right now.

[indistinct shouting]

[Carol speaking over phone indistinctly]

[man] Yes.

[man] ...almost the right time for you to find

your way to Buffet Infinity today.

Unless you wanna lose your chance at this delicious Indian-style buffet.

Which includes everything that you've seen so far,

-as well as an enormous... -[loud static]

of other possibilities and option--

[alert tone]

[female digital voice] The following message is broadcast

at the request of the Westridge City Council.

If you live in Westridge County or surrounding areas,

please stay in your home.

If you live within a two-kilometer

radius of Highway 1,

please stay in your homes.

We, City Council and religious groups

have come together to coordinate a first--

[man indistinct] ...at this authentic Mumbai street food.

Come alone or bring some friends.

There's benefits to bringing friends.

And the more friends you bring, the better the benefits will get.

...more benefits you get. Benefits include--

-[Carol speaking indistinctly] -[man] Hear some creaking of...

-It's, uh-- I can hear-- -[Carol] The creaking is the-- uh--

[man] There' something coming out of the smoke.

-It's, uh... -[loud screeching]

[man] Access to our latest building expansion,

Buffet Infinity's 5.3 million

square foot. What a--

[loud screaming]

[man] ...sino and sleep facility opening very soon.

With thousands of different themes and styles of accommodation.

As well as a memorial wall to pay tribute

to any loved ones that you may have lost.

Eat up, then rest up. And then watch your favorite

television shows and movies

that you loved growing up.

Not as they are now. As they were

when they made you feel safe as a child.

And just go a little bit further up on that--

[female digital voice] ...basement. Go to it now.

Secure all doors and windows of basement with tape.

Secure any area with cracks to the outside with tape.

Insulate area which may release

ambient sounds from outside with tape.

If any member of your family

asks to come inside secure area, do not trust them.

-[loud suspenseful sting] -[man echoing] See your own favorite memories.

Not as they were but as you wish

they had occurred when you were a child.

Excluding any moments that you wish to

keep hidden from your own mind.

And look into the minds of those who hurt you.

[echoing] After accusing you of copying, when

they themselves were guilty of copying you.

And spread rumors because they're jealous and lonely.

[voice continues echoing, indistinctly]

All because they feel your power and versatility as a restaurant.

[female digital voice] ...trust any further broadcast from this station.

Again, do not trust any further broadcast from this station.

Again, do not trust any further--

[signal tone]

[signal tone]

[female digital voice] Wait further inst--

[signal tone]

[static]

-[ominous hum] -[static]

[dramatic, synthwave music]

[deep male voice] Soon all will know my suffering.

All will know my suffering.

[voice deepens and distorts]

Soon all will know my suffering.

[Professor] Soon all will know my suffering.

Hey man, is something eating you?

I've just been trying to keep my mind busy and stuff,

especially with all the rumors in the media.

And on top of that, I haven't slept in months.

Hey man, would you like to chill out and listen to some tunes?

But with the economy how it is,

how will I find a stereo in my price range?

Well, here's the thing,

here at Ahmed's Pawn, we have

over 50 selections of radios.

All marked down by 25%.

-[knob clicks, then smooth music starts] -Oh, sweet.

Wow, how do we have so many in stock?

Don't worry about it. Worry about this bass.

Oh, man, my migraine is kind of clearing up.

Hell yeah.

[loud static]

[indistinct shouting]

-[knob clicks] -[static]

[upbeat music plays]

The sound quality is so good.

I would have never guessed it was previously owned.

-[music ends abruptly] -[ominous hum]

[woman on stereo] Hello?

Hello?

My name is V-- Veronica.

I've been walking for... days.

It's so dark in here.

I think we need something with a little bit more rhythm.

-Wait. -[Veronica] I don't know if you can hear me.

I think that's my aunt.

[male voice] Feeling cooped up?

Down in the dumps?

Pretty low?

Underground even?

There's no replacement for 100% f--

[female voice] As healing.

As soothing.

As forgiving.

-As one-- -[static]

[male voice] ...doors to a new opportunity.

Open your doors to something spectacular.

Open your doors to the o--

[male reporter] ...have look outside this morning.

Looks like the warm temperature is sticking around this week.

But don't tell the calendar that.

Ridgewood Valley is backed up till you get to Beltline.

Ridgewood East is steady all around Highway 1.

Your KSA News Morning starts right now.

[soft, lively music]

[music fades]

[digital rumblings]

[digital whooshes]

[deep whoosh]

[female voice] ...outside your door.

The possibilities are literally endless.

The people you can meet.

The sensations you can have.

The different forms of pleasure that are all guaranteed.

-[voice becomes faint] -[static]

[static]

[indistinct deep, distorted voices]

[male voice] Six months ago, if someone were to say

you'd be living underground by yourself--

[female voice] Windows and doors taped up

from the top to bottom to block out perfectly natural ambience.

[male voice] Living without hope.

You miss your friends.

You miss your family. But most of a--

[female voice] You miss yourself.

And with no one around for the better you

to keep you company,

it's hard not to feel

-a little lonely. -[stomach growling]

Even if he knows how to keep you safe.

To practice self-control.

Regardless of what the impulses are.

Or where they might--

-[static] -[wind howling]

Things have changed.

But here at Westridge Auto,

things are still the same.

And we're still here for you and your family.

[male voice] We will be for a short time reintroducing...

That's right. No money down. No interest.

Immediate credit approval on all of our overstocked

second-hand inventory.

If I could somehow summon real superhero power.

It would be a great time.

[man] Have a big Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings.

Only at Buffet Infinity.

Hey, you can come too, Uncle Reg.

Help yourself to our creamy oven-cooked mashed potatoes.

-Homemade giblets -[static]

with green beans.

Tasty vegetable pasta salad.

Made just the way Mom used to. With little bits of bacon.

Vegetable and beef noodle-style soup.

Made with the same recipe that your mom would use

when you'd have a cough or fever.

Imagine feeling that incredible relief and comfort only a child can feel.

-When they're with their mom-- -[static]

Afterwards, you'd be allowed to

return into your basement.

-We'd even supply you with-- -[static]

...drinking water and a full stock of red passions.

[voice cutting off]

...berry marzipan pie.

[man continues in background] Strawberry cream raspberry pie.

Chocolate cream pie.

[man continues faintly]

[continuous ominous hum]

Sprinkles. Dipped in chocolate. Dipped in sprinkles.

[ominous hum intensifies]

And it wouldn't be Thanksgiving

without our buttered corn on the cob.

We mean absolutely lam--

[man continues in background muffled]

[continuous ominous hum]

[ominous hum intensifies]

[man speaking indistinctly, echoing faintly]

[ominous hum increases]

[eerie sting]

♪ Things are getting weird ♪

♪ Things are getting scary ♪

♪ Things are getting Out of hand ♪

♪ Things are getting hairy ♪

♪ I'm scared for the future ♪

♪ I'm scared for my family ♪

♪ Don't totally understand Why I'm no longer sleeping ♪

♪ I'm getting pretty thin I'm watching lots of TV ♪

♪ And it's tryna Tell me stuff ♪

♪ I feel responsible and keep Saying I could be the one ♪

[static]

[loud eerie sting]

Hi, I'm Mosley Rosin.

And I'll be honest, I'm a bit of a homebody.

I love being in my house, relaxing,

hanging with friends.

But did you know that if you spend too much time on your own property,

you could be potentially sued

for squatting in your own house?

Sounds unbelievable, but it's true.

Personally, I think it's something those fat cats

in City Council cooked up

just to dip their fingers in our back pocket.

If you haven't left your house in over two weeks,

you could be liable for up to thousands

in unpaid homeowners mobility enforcement funds.

So come on out and have a free consultation

with me, Mosley Rosin, today.

We'll sit down, have a drink, and just shoot the shit.

[sipping]

[muffled voice speaking indistinctly]

[man] Beef brisket, Eggs Benedict.

Sirloin steak, with your choice of eggs

and signature buffet omelets.

The country-style fried eggs and steak.

Sirloin or Wagyu beef.

Breakfast tacos, warmed up or al dente.

Breakfast Benny with T-bone steak.

Our marvelous Mars-event smashed potato fries.

Southwestern-style poutine.

Mild, medium, hot.

Or Mexican spicy.

[man continues faintly in background, muffled]

[continuous ominous hum]

[sipping]

[hum increasing gradually]

[ominous hum halts, then continues]

[man continues faintly in background, muffled]

[balls clack]

[clacking]

[man continues speaking faintly]

[ominous hum]

[wet squeaking]

[ominous hum increasing gradually]

[man continues faintly in background, muffled]

[high-pitched ringing]

[ominous hum intensifying]

[bright music fading in]

[sipping]

[static]

[eerie sting]

[overlapping voices]

Whoa! [chuckles] You just caught me

playing my favorite card game, Solitaire,

where it's, uh, best played alone.

Uh, usually I'd be bothered if there's nobody around

or there's no customers for the last several weeks, but I'm fine.

It got me some time to catch up

on some of my favorite hobbies.

Whoa, this is so great for you.

[struggling] This feels great.

♪ Come on down To Ahmed's Pawn ♪

♪ We're still open if you Wanna trade supplies ♪

[ominous hum]

If you feel like vegging out

in front of the booth tube that's okay too.

Televisions are 50% off.

And it comes with a complimentary piece of jewelry.

Oh, this is crazy.

I'm getting boxed in.

Or am I?

[loud static]

[deepened static]

[loud screeching]

[overlapping muffled voices]

[muffled female voice] And if you're not coming to us...

-[grunt] -[slaps]

[magical whoosh]

[loud, deep rumble]

[Ahmed] ♪ Get a book of Science fiction adventure ♪

♪ That's fascinating to read ♪

Hmm, this book is great.

♪ Complimentary With the purchase ♪

♪ Of any item Of personal security ♪

♪ Buy earplugs to Block out any sounds ♪

♪ Also, with the Purchase of a generator ♪

♪ Get two free DVDs ♪

♪ Come on down To Ahmed's Pawn ♪

♪ We're still open So come on down ♪

-♪ Everything here's Good deals and ♪ -[ominous hum]

Shit, man, my bad.

[static]

[muffled male voice] ...hide from the sounds from outside,

would you believe it?

You miss your friends.

[overlapping indistinct voices]

[female voice] We're here.

And we're here together as one.

[overlapping indistinct voices intensify]

-[sobs softly] -[squishing]

[soft grunt]

[suspenseful hum]

[deep voice] You scared?

It's scared of you.

It knows that you have pow--

[woman] Sounds like a bunch of stupid bullshit

a wayward spirit would come up with

to try to assimilate you for dark purposes.

And even worse,

once they've entered your body,

they can then accuse you of psychic identity theft.

And where would that leave you?

-God only knows. -[man in distance] Hey!

-Our minds are precious to us. -[man] Hey, hey!

And nobody knows that better than Steve--

Hey, hey!

-Hey, hey! -Our minds are precious to us.

-And nobody understands that better than Steve-- -Hey.

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

Hey!

[chuckling] Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, hey!

[woman] By registering for my cognitive

-liability insurance -Hey, hey!

through Steve Babbacock,

-you can put your mind at ease -Hey!

-'cause you'll know your thoughts are secure -Hey!

-and safe from trespassing -[man] Hey!

-spirits that don't belong. -Hey, hey!

-Oh... Hey... -[static]

-Hey, hey, hey! -[static]

So I'm safe to focus on what's important to me.

Like what I'm gonna have for dinner tonight.

I'm thinking...

...stroganoff for one.

-[indistinct muffled voice] -[static]

[loud static]

[deep indistinct voice]

-[ominous hum] -[Ahmed sobbing]

What the hell are you, man?

[deep voice] I am...

...something.

Can you please get out of my employee and my store, please?

[deep voice] I will return this body once the harvest of our minds has ended.

All things will be as they once were,

-as soon as the final piece no-- -[eerie sting]

[male reporter reading]

[ominous hum]

[female voice] One bite and everything will be as it once was.

You will wake up as a child--

-[ominous hum] -[heavy breathing]

[male voice] ...you even doing this for yourself?

[ominous hum]

[female voice] ...or are you doing this for him?

[ominous hum]

[male voice] A pretend version of yourself that you created

to keep your true desires in check.

[ominous hum]

[soft grunting]

[breathing shakily]

[female voice] Maybe it's time for him to feel your suffering.

[ominous hum]

[soft choking]

[grunting]

[splash]

The one trying to slowly drown you out of your own body.

[deep voice] I swear to you,

I have no interest in stealing anyone's body.

I will be returning this body once things are as they once were.

I just need to use this as a v--

[gunshots]

I appreciate you coming by, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

[eerie sting]

[ominous hum]

[indistinct voices in background]

[eerie music]

[female voice] Maybe what is happening outside

isn't as bad as you think.

Maybe everyone... [indistinct]

And they've already woken up as children...

And they're all playing...

[indistinct voices continue in background]

[wet squelching]

[male voice] There's something inside that wants out. Whether it could be...

[female voice] The choice has already been made.

[ominous hum intensifying]

Grab a complimentary DVD player.

I am not looking for a bargain,

-No, go find another business -and I am not addressing you right now.

-that's currently open. Tell them about your message-- -We only have a few moments

before everything is merged into her.

I don't even know who you're talking about--

[reporter] ...meanor and kind heart, Abigail June Hershey

was 11 years old when she was lost

to one of her father's experiments.

-[deep voice] No! -[reporter] An infinite return theory.

-[deep voice] Wait! No! -[reporter] A process involving--

It's always dangerous till you figure out some--

[female voice] From fraud to human sacrifice,

from murder t-- to other allegations.

All pale in comparison to the infinite

-torturing experience of his own daughter. -[deep voice] That is not true!

I love my daughter more than you could ever--

[loud static]

[Langdon screaming indistinctly]

[voices overlapping with loud static]

[indistinct] ...understand!

There just wasn't any way for me to know...

...what she was going to turn herself into.

[Ahmed screams nervously]

No...

[speaking in foreign language]

[digital growling]

[male voice] Laid in the darkness, to watch civilizations rise and fall.

Feel the pain of galaxies as they explode from nothing, then wither back again.

Soon, all will know we're suffering.

[deepened voice] And everyone will feast!

[normal voice] Is it time for me to kill you again already, Skinwalker?

I-- I don't--

Maybe I should wait for my kingdom to reach

-the realms that you've bent. -[gunshot]

I am no longer what I once was.

-[distorted voice] Well, I am no longer a child. -[gunshot]

You once promised the darkness.

[Langdon] Please, please.

Please, stop!

For one who doesn't believe in death,

it sure seems to follow...

...you around quite often, Skinwalker.

Don't have to do this, Abigail.

There is no one here by the name of Abigail.

There is a vessel to eternal satisfaction.

Don't-- stop this, please!

In a menu that is out of this world.

We can work together.

There is a grand name

-that swallows its vines. -No, no!

It assures the highest quality--

Dining experience.

-Death is not the end! -Forever growing.

Forever expanded.

And for larger locations.

[ominous hum]

[female voice] It's not a burger!

It's three slices of onions,

a pickle, mustard, American cheese...

[wet growling]

[muffled deepened indistinct voice]

[gasps]

[choking, then heavy breathing]

[growling]

[struggling]

[screaming]

[muffled indistinct voices]

[screaming and growling continue]

[voices and hum increasing]

[noise halts]

[voices and growling resume]

-[wet squelching] -[screaming]

[wet, loud splashing]

-[thud] -[choking]

[splashes]

[upbeat, synth music]

♪ Here, the walls You're building are maze ♪

♪ We're the ones that came Here in your place ♪

♪ Just around any place ♪

♪ Is this even here? ♪

♪ On Earth ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Coming to the li-i-i-i-i ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ We've already been here Now we want to be free ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ Gonna break out Of this city ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ We've already been here Now we want to be free ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Gonna break out Of this city ♪

♪ Why is local news Lying to your face? ♪

♪ They're the ones who Don't leave any trace ♪

♪ Destroying local business ♪

♪ But you could be right here ♪

[thunder roaring]

[song continues, muffled]

[ominous hum]

[thunder roaring]

[music continues in normal volume]

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ Everyone you know Is already waiting ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

[singer vocalizing]

♪ The grow-and-be-more Is waiting ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

[singer vocalizing]

♪ We're gonna wise up the Jealous and lonely ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ They're trying to destroy Local business ♪

♪ Come on out tonight ♪

♪ We're all waiting Waiting for you ♪

-[song ends abruptly] -[static]

-[ominous hum] -[soft rock music]

[music distorts and turns into synthwave]

[music fades]