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1
00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:07,690
- RUNKLE!
2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,690
- PREVIOUSLY
ON CALIFORNICATION...
3
00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:11,400
- HEY, IS THIS RUNKLE'S HOUSE?
4
00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:12,660
- WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
5
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,800
- STU BEGGS.
YOU'RE THE WIFE?
6
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:14,800
- SOON TO BE EX.
7
00:00:14,830 --> 00:00:16,800
- WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN
I'VE SLEPT WITH?
8
00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:18,070
- MM-MMM.
9
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,270
- I GOTTA GET IT UP
TO 100.
10
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:21,340
TRIPLE DIGITS.
11
00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:23,070
- I MET THE WIFE.
- SOON TO BE EX.
12
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,140
- SO YOU WOULDN'T MIND
IF I TOOK A CRACK AT HER?
13
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:26,680
- SAY WHAT?
14
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:27,810
- AND YOU ARE?
15
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,750
- I'M BEN.
- KAREN.
16
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:30,750
NICE TO MEET YOU.
17
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,850
- NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
18
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,080
- HOW'S LENNY KRAVITZ?
19
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,150
- EXCUSE ME?
20
00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:35,390
- YOU KNOW,
THAT CARAMEL-COLORED MAN
21
00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:36,390
YOU'VE BEEN HANGING
AROUND WITH.
22
00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:38,120
- UM, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
23
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,520
- ABBY HERE
IS THE BEST THERE IS
24
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,360
AT DEFENDING
THE UNJUSTLY ACCUSED.
25
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:42,460
- YOU REALLY LOVE
THIS SHIT, HUH?
26
00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:43,860
- SOMETIMES IT'S
EVEN BETTER THAN SEX.
27
00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:46,330
- YOU MUST NOT LIKE SEX
VERY MUCH.
28
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,150
- [sighs]
29
00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:04,710
HEY!
30
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:07,550
- AM I REALLY
THAT SCARY THE MORNING AFTER?
31
00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:09,790
- HARDLY. YOU'RE
JUST REALLY PENETRATING ME
32
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,290
WITH THOSE PRETTY BLUE EYES.
33
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,120
- THEY'RE HAZEL.
34
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,130
- ARE THEY?
35
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,430
IT'S EARLY AND YOU GOT
A BUNCH OF CRUDDIES IN THERE.
36
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:18,630
- THANK YOU.
37
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,900
- YES, NO. OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
HAZEL THEY ARE.
38
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:22,400
STILL PRETTY, THOUGH.
39
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,340
- WELL, I SUPPOSE
ONE GOOD PENETRATION
40
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:27,600
DOES DESERVE ANOTHER.
41
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,540
- OOH, I LIKE WHERE
YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.
42
00:01:29,570 --> 00:01:31,240
I LOVE ME SOME MORNING SEX.
43
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,140
DAYLIGHT, SMELLY PITS,
BAD BREATH.
44
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,810
BRING IT.
LET'S DO THIS.
45
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,550
- I NEED TO RECUSE MYSELF.
46
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,280
- RECUSE ME?
47
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,820
- I'M BEING SERIOUS.
48
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,350
- WELL, THE BATHROOM IS
THAT-A-WAY.
49
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:42,420
- WE HAD SEX, HANK.
50
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:43,590
- DON'T DO THAT.
51
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,560
DON'T--DON'T REDUCE IT.
52
00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:46,390
THAT WAS NOT SEX.
53
00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:48,830
THAT WAS NAKED POETRY.
- OH, OKAY.
54
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,160
- I HAVEN'T BEEN FUCKED LIKE
THAT SINCE I WAS AN ALTAR BOY.
55
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,800
- REALLY? ARE YOU FINISHED?
- NO, I'M NOT FINISHED.
56
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,400
I'M JUST GETTING STARTED,
COUNSELOR.
57
00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,600
- YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.
- NO, I'M NOT,
58
00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,170
BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY
READING YOUR BRAILLE.
59
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,940
- AHEM.
60
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:00,270
- I'M A LIP-READER,
61
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,810
AND I CAN ALSO READ
UPSIDE DOWN,
62
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:02,870
AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS?
63
00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:04,710
"SHUT UP AND FUCK ME."
64
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,780
- WE HAD SEX.
YOU MADE ME COME.
65
00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:08,180
- DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT.
66
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,910
I INVITED YOU TO COME.
67
00:02:09,950 --> 00:02:10,810
YOU DID ALL THE REST.
68
00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:13,620
- AND NOW WE HAVE
A SERIOUS CONFLICT.
69
00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:15,590
- I'M NOT THE GREATEST
OF LEGAL MINDS,
70
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:18,260
BUT, LAST NIGHT, WHEN WE MADE
THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS,
71
00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:20,760
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU
WERE TECHNICALLY MY ATTORNEY.
72
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:23,660
- YEAH, YES, AND THAT LOGIC
73
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,700
WAS PERFECTLY,
PERFECTLY SOUND LAST NIGHT.
74
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,370
THIS MORNING,
NOT SO MUCH.
75
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,570
- LAST NIGHT, THIS MORNING,
WHAT'S THE DIFF, REALLY?
76
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,700
WHAT'S IT
ALL ABOUT ANYWAY?
77
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,340
- IT'S YOUR CHOICE, HANK.
78
00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:35,640
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
79
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,610
FUCK YOU OR DEFEND YOU?
80
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:38,940
- OH, SHIT.
81
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,740
THERE'S A REALLY GOOD LAWYER
JOKE IN THERE SOMEWHERE,
82
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,450
BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH BLOOD
IN MY BRAIN
83
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,410
TO FIGURE IT OUR RIGHT NOW.
84
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:45,820
- OKAY, I'M INTRODUCING YOU
TO A NEW ATTORNEY.
85
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:46,850
- NO, I LIKE MY OLD ONE.
86
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,650
- AND SHE LIKES YOU TOO.
87
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,220
A LITTLE TOO MUCH MAYBE.
88
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:52,390
- HOW MUCH ARE WE TALKING?
89
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,460
- READ MY BRAILLE.
90
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,670
[laughs]
- WOW.
91
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,470
THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES.
92
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:16,680
- SO...WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
93
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,780
- OH, YOU'RE RECUSED.
94
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,790
[upbeat music]
95
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:28,760
*
96
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:08,470
- HELLO?
97
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:09,900
HELLO!
98
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:11,470
GOOD MORNING.
99
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,040
GOOD MORNING.
100
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,570
OH!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
101
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,940
- WELL, YOUR DOOR WAS AJAR.
102
00:04:15,970 --> 00:04:17,870
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU
HADN'T BEEN VIOLATED.
103
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:20,710
- OH. SO WHAT ARE YOU,
ROBIN HOOD OF RAPISTS NOW?
104
00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:21,510
- OH, GOOD ONE.
105
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:23,550
AND I JUST WANTED
TO SAY HELLO.
106
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,720
- HELLO AND GOOD-BYE!
107
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,380
- I HAVE SOME TIME TO KILL.
I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.
108
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:28,620
I BROUGHT YOU SOME COFFEE.
109
00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:30,790
HOW DO YOU TAKE IT NOW?
BLACK?
110
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,660
- THANKS, BROTHER.
- OH, FUCK.
111
00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:35,060
- CHEERS.
112
00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:35,930
- [sighs]
113
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,500
SO, WHAT, YOU GUYS
ARE DOING IT NOW?
114
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:39,800
- SHUT UP.
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
115
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:40,830
- IT IS MY BUSINESS.
116
00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:42,800
THAT WAS MY VAGINA
FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME.
117
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,400
I HAVE SQUATTER'S RIGHTS
ON THAT.
118
00:04:44,430 --> 00:04:45,800
- BEN BROUGHT ME
A PAINTING,
119
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,500
AND HE WAS HANGING IT UP
FOR ME
120
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:48,840
IN THE BEDROOM, OKAY?
121
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:49,940
- OH, THAT IS SMOOTH, BEN.
122
00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:51,840
REAL SMOOTH.
WHAT WAS THE OCCASION?
123
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:52,880
DOING IT?
124
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,580
- BEN IS AN ARTIST, HANK.
125
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:55,980
- OH, FUCK, AREN'T WE ALL?
126
00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,980
- ACTUALLY, I AM AN ARTIST
BY PROFESSION.
127
00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,580
IT SAYS SO
ON MY TAX RETURN.
128
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,550
- WELL, SOMETIMES
IN THE BATHROOM,
129
00:05:01,590 --> 00:05:03,850
I WILL DRAW ON THE WALL
WITH MY OWN POO.
130
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,420
DOESN'T MAKE ME
A FUCKING ARTIST, DOES IT?
131
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,990
- NO.
- POO-CASSO.
132
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:07,890
- IT MAKES YOU A GROWN MAN
133
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,090
WHO LIKES TO PLAY
WITH HIS EXCREMENT.
134
00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:10,860
- EXACTLY, KAREN.
EXACTLY.
135
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,800
- I DESIGN ALBUM COVERS.
136
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,660
- WOW, THAT IS
BUTTFUCKING AWESOME, BEN.
137
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,130
YOU ARE VERY HARD TO HATE.
138
00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:17,970
HEY, GUESS WHAT.
139
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,600
I DID IT LAST NIGHT TOO...
140
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,840
WITH A WOMAN.
141
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,370
- A WOMAN?
A GROWN WOMAN?
142
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,640
- AN EXTREMELY HOT,
TOTALLY SEXY WOMAN.
143
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,710
CLASS UP THE WAZOO, RIGHT?
- GOOD FOR YOU.
144
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:28,950
- A REAL FUCKING DAME,
THAT ONE.
145
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:29,950
- GOOD FOR YOU, HANK.
146
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,750
- NO, GOOD FOR US, KAREN.
147
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:33,050
'CAUSE WE'RE MOVING ON.
148
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,850
WE'RE SHARING OUR GENITALS
WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
149
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,620
IT'S SO FUCKING MATURE, I WANT
TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE DICK.
150
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:37,790
- DO IT!
151
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,660
- LISTEN, NOT THAT
I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS,
152
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:41,120
WHATEVER THIS IS,
153
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,590
BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE MAYBE I
SHOULD TRY AND PUT A STOP TO IT.
154
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:44,730
- YES, THAT WOULD BE
A GOOD IDEA,
155
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:45,860
AND GOOD LUCK, 'CAUSE--
156
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,600
- [imitating Karen] YEAH,
THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA,
157
00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:48,730
AND GOOD LUCK, 'CAUSE--
- I'M GONNA STAB YOU.
158
00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:49,870
- FUCK YOU.
159
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:50,870
- DID YOU TELL HIM
ABOUT THE GIRLS?
160
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,840
- NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME
ABOUT THE FUCKING GIRLS.
161
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:54,000
SHE DOESN'T TELL ME
ANYTHING ANYMORE.
162
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,410
- THEY'RE DOING
AN UNPLUGGED GIG TONIGHT.
163
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,410
YOU SHOULD COME.
164
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,670
- WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING.
165
00:05:57,710 --> 00:05:59,580
MAYBE I WILL.
166
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,140
MAYBE I WON'T.
167
00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:03,750
GUESS YOU'LL JUST TO HAVE WAIT
AND SEE, YOU TWO, WON'T YOU?
168
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,010
- I'M EXCITED.
169
00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:09,990
- WE HAVE A PROPOSITION
FOR YOU, RUNKLE.
170
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:12,120
- OKAY, LET ME
JUST THROW IT OUT THERE.
171
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,860
THIS IS NOT A THREESOME
I AM INTERESTED IN AT ALL.
172
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:17,560
- WE, NEITHER,
YOU FUCKING JACKASS.
173
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:20,060
- WELL, I'M OPEN...
SEXUALLY.
174
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,900
I MEAN,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
175
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,770
- STU, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
176
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,500
- OKAY. SO HERE'S THE DEAL.
177
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:29,440
WE HAVE A PITCH MEETING
TODAY AT SHOWTIME,
178
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,780
AT FX,
AND HBO TOMORROW.
179
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:34,080
BUT I THINK SHOWTIME IS
THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS.
180
00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:36,610
- NURSE JACKIE,
I LIKE THAT SHIT.
181
00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:39,050
EDIE FALCO. RESPECT.
182
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,520
- WHAT'S THE PITCH?
183
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:43,750
- WELL...
184
00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:45,590
YOU WERE MARRIED TO HER.
185
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,760
[laughing]
186
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,460
- I DON'T GET IT.
187
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,830
- SEE?
HE'S NOT A VISIONARY, STU.
188
00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,100
I TOLD YOU.
189
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,600
- IT'S A DOWN AND DIRTY
HALF-HOUR
190
00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:58,130
ABOUT A FOUL-MOUTHED CELEBRITY
WAXOLOGIST.
191
00:06:58,170 --> 00:07:01,510
PUNANI-TENDER TO THE STARS,
IF YOU WILL,
192
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,640
BASED ON HERS TRULY.
193
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,140
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
194
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:08,480
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
195
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:09,580
- THANK YOU.
- REALLY?
196
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:12,050
WELL, HOW COME YOU NEVER THOUGHT
OF IT, BRAIN TRUST?
197
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,220
- OBVIOUSLY,
I WAS TOO CLOSE TO IT.
198
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,550
I WAS TOO BUSY
BEING EMASCULATED BY IT.
199
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:19,690
- DON'T BLAME ME BECAUSE YOU
WERE BORN WITH A CLIT FOR A COCK
200
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,190
AND A TINY LITTLE BEANBAG
TO HOUSE WHAT PASSES FOR BALLS.
201
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:25,190
- SEE? MAGIC.
202
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,670
- DON'T YOU WORRY, HANK.
ABBY'S THE BEST.
203
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,900
BUT EVEN THE BEST NEED
A LITTLE HELP SOMETIMES.
204
00:07:32,940 --> 00:07:34,000
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, ABBY?
205
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,010
- ABSOLUTELY, LLOYD.
YOU ARE THE MAN.
206
00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:39,210
- I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
207
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,740
- THANK YOU,
LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR.
208
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:42,280
I FEEL SAFE WITH YOU.
209
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:43,980
- WHAT ARE YOU READING
RIGHT NOW?
210
00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:45,780
- WHAT AM I READING?
211
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,220
- WHAT'S ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND
RIGHT NOW?
212
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,620
- THAT'S
AN INTERESTING QUESTION.
213
00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:52,220
UM, BOTTLE OF HEINEKEN,
214
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,290
PACK OF SMOKES,
215
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,590
THE ACCOMMODATOR.
[club thuds] OH.
216
00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:56,630
- OH, THE ACCOMMODATOR?
217
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:57,990
IS THAT LIKE A NOVEL?
218
00:07:58,030 --> 00:07:59,730
- NO, NO, NO.
IT'S MORE LIKE A SEX TOY.
219
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:00,930
A DILDO, ESSENTIALLY,
220
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,530
ONLY YOU STRAP IT
TO YOUR HEAD
221
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:04,800
SO THAT THE DONG PART
JUTS OUT FROM YOUR CHIN.
222
00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,900
IT ENABLES YOU
TO "ACCOMMODATE" YOUR LADY
223
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,570
BY PERFORMING ORAL AND
PENETRATO AT THE SAME TIME.
224
00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,780
YOU KNOW, LIKE...
225
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:12,910
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
226
00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,140
LIKE CHINOCCHIO?
227
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,750
[laughs] CHINOCCHIO.
- INTERESTING.
228
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,280
- I THINK IT'S VERY INTERESTING.
I CAN HOOK YOU UP.
229
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:18,210
YOU TOO, ABBY.
230
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,180
- THANK YOU, HANK.
THAT'S GENEROUS OF YOU.
231
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:21,650
- YOU SEEM TO BE
IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.
232
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,150
WHERE DO YOU WORK OUT?
YOU DO THE STEPS?
233
00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:24,850
- THE STEPS?
234
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,190
- IN SANTA MONICA.
- OH.
235
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,030
- IT'S QUITE A SCENE.
LOTS OF LOVELY LADIES.
236
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:30,630
YOU CAN REALLY MAKE
A DAY OF IT.
237
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,800
- YEAH. YEAH.
238
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,970
- WHAT'S UP?
YOU NEED SOMETHING?
239
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,300
I WAS JUST THINKING...
240
00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:40,070
IF I WANTED TO HANG MYSELF,
241
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,300
DO YOU THINK
THIS CHANDELIER HERE
242
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,640
WOULD SUPPORT MY WEIGHT
THERE?
243
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:44,910
- UH...
244
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:47,640
- ABOUT 175, 180?
245
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,780
- YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING
SENSE OF HUMOR, HANK.
246
00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,880
- THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME,
LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR.
247
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,320
- WELL, I LIKE TO TAKE CARE
OF MYSELF THESE DAYS.
248
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,850
HAD A BIT
OF A SCARE LAST YEAR.
249
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:57,020
- DID YOU?
250
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,620
- YEAH, NOTHING--
NOTHING SERIOUS.
251
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,090
JUST AN ANAL FISSURE.
252
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,220
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, HANK?
253
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,130
- [sighs]
254
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,690
- IT'S LIKE
A SMALL RIP OR TEAR...
255
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:06,100
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
256
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,900
- IN THE SKIN
OF THE ANAL CANAL.
257
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:10,770
WELL, HURT
LIKE A SON OF A BITCH.
258
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,740
ONLY THING
THAT GOT ME THROUGH
259
00:09:11,770 --> 00:09:13,370
WAS THE THOUGHT
OF GETTING BACK TO THE GAME.
260
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,370
[golf ball rattles in box]
YOU PLAY, HANK?
261
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,740
- NO! I'M MORE
OF A MINIATURE GOLFER MYSELF.
262
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:19,680
- WE SHOULD PLAY,
THE THREE OF US.
263
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,950
TODAY. YOU GUYS
CAN GET ME UP TO SPEED.
264
00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:23,650
I'LL GO
AND CHECK WITH LINDSAY,
265
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,910
SEE IF SHE
CAN CLEAR MY SCHEDULE.
266
00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:27,750
- GREAT.
- OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD.
267
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,650
- [chuckling]
268
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:31,050
YOU MADE YOUR BED,
269
00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:32,860
AND THEN YOU
FUCKED ME IN IT.
270
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:34,790
- MM-HMM-HMM. I THINK I
NEED TO RECUSE MYSELF.
271
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:36,890
- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
HE'S MY BOSS.
272
00:09:36,930 --> 00:09:38,390
I MEAN, I CAN'T
JUST GO TO HIM AND SAY,
273
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,760
"UH, HEY, LLOYD, SORRY.
274
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:40,960
HANK THINKS
YOU'RE A BIG BORE."
275
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,300
- BUT HE IS
A BIG FUCKING BORE.
276
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,530
- BUT MAYBE
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
277
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:45,740
MAYBE THAT WILL PREVENT YOU
FROM STICKING YOUR DICK IN HIM.
278
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:47,140
- I WOULD NEVER STICK
MY DICK IN HIM.
279
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,310
IT WOULD FALL OFF
FROM COMPLETE AND UTTER BOREDOM.
280
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,210
- GET DIR--GET DIRECTIONS
FROM PATTI.
281
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,880
I'LL SEE YOU
OUT ON THE LINKS.
282
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,220
[golf ball thuds]
- OOH!
283
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:06,020
- DID HE TELL YOU
ABOUT HIS ANAL FISSURE?
284
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:07,060
- YES. YES, HE DID.
285
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,420
HE'S THE FISSURE KING.
286
00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:10,860
- I'M SORRY.
HE'S THE WORST.
287
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:13,100
- I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU STAND IT HERE, PATTI.
288
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:14,730
- ME, NEITHER. ALL THE GUYS
AROUND HERE ARE LIKE THAT.
289
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,700
SOMETIMES I THINK
I'M NEVER GONNA FIND A MAN.
290
00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:20,100
- WHAT KIND OF FELLA
YOU LOOKING FOR?
291
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:23,010
- HONESTLY?
I JUST NEED TO GET LAID.
292
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,040
- I HEAR THAT.
293
00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:26,440
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK CAN HELP OUT.
294
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,310
I GOT A GUY FOR YOU.
HE'S A SURE THING.
295
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:30,750
TOTAL CHROME DOME,
BUT HE FUCKS LIKE A CHAMP.
296
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:32,320
LOVES TO EAT
THE PUSSY TOO.
297
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,020
- I'M LISTENING.
298
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,260
- HOO.
299
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:47,060
- YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS
THERE, HUH?
300
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,330
YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN
ONE FOR SALES, HAVE YOU?
301
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,700
- NO.
302
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,800
FUCK YOU.
STOP TRYING TO PSYCH ME OUT.
303
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,940
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M THE NERVOUS ONE.
304
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,810
I GOT THE FUCKING RUNS.
305
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,140
I THINK I HAVE A LITTLE IBS.
306
00:10:58,170 --> 00:10:59,780
- A LITTLE TMI.
307
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:00,880
- I'M SORRY, MY DEAR.
308
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,110
NOT TO WORRY.
309
00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:03,480
IT ALWAYS HAPPENS
BEFORE A PITCH.
310
00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:05,880
IT'S A RITUAL CLEANSING.
311
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:10,390
[groaning]
312
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,360
- SO...
313
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:15,420
- BE QUIET.
314
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:16,490
- WHAT? WHAT? NO.
315
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:19,430
I WAS JUST--I WAS GOING TO
ASK ABOUT YOU AND STU.
316
00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:21,460
STU AND YOU.
317
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,170
MAR-STU, HA!
318
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,400
THAT'S WHAT THE RAGS
WOULD BE CALLING IT.
319
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,270
MAR-STU.
320
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,010
SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
321
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,240
- WHATEVER.
322
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:31,410
HE'S NICE.
323
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,480
- NICE.
324
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:34,940
DO YOU LIKE HIM?
325
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:37,210
- YES, I LIKE HIM,
CHARLIE, OKAY?
326
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,820
IT'S NICE TO BE WITH
A FUCKING GROWN-UP FOR ONCE.
327
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,890
- I USED TO BE A GROWN-UP...
328
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,320
ONCE.
329
00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:45,020
I JUST...
330
00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:46,220
REGRESSED A LITTLE.
331
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:47,390
- A LITTLE?
332
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:50,290
YOU'RE LIKE A BALD BENJAMIN
BUTTON, AGING IN REVERSE.
333
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:52,460
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE A BIG,
PINK, QUIVERING JELL-O BABY.
334
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:53,460
COME ON.
335
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,800
- WHATEVER'S GOING ON
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU,
336
00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:00,540
I HOPE YOU FIND
ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU DESERVE.
337
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,040
I MEAN THAT.
338
00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:05,640
- THANKS, CHARLIE.
339
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,820
- AND YOU'RE GONNA
DO GREAT IN THERE.
340
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,320
- OKAY. THAT IS BETTER.
341
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:20,090
GOT ALL THE POISON OUT.
342
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,260
SO, WE READY TO DO THIS?
343
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:23,960
- MM.
- OKAY, LET'S HUDDLE UP.
344
00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:25,190
COME ON.
345
00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:26,930
- YES.
- THERE WE GO, THERE WE GO.
346
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,530
[overlapping chatter]
347
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,050
[muttering]
348
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:56,460
OKAY.
349
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,000
MOTHERFUCKER.
350
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,600
- I'M SORRY, SIR.
COLLARED SHIRTS ONLY.
351
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,500
AND NO DENIM.
352
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:09,610
- WHAT ARE YOU,
SOME KIND OF FASCIST?
353
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:10,940
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT AGAINST DENIM?
354
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,040
IT'S THE PEOPLE'S FABRIC.
355
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,910
- I CAN SHOW YOU TO
THE PRO SHOP IF YOU'D LIKE, SIR.
356
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:16,980
- RUN. SAVE YOURSELF.
357
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:22,850
- [laughing]
358
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,150
OH, MY GOD.
359
00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:26,290
THIS IS
JUST TOO DELICIOUS.
360
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,990
- I HATE MYSELF,
AND I WANT TO DIE.
361
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:29,960
- WE ARE GOING TO
HAVE MUCH FUN OUT THERE.
362
00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:31,360
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
- THINK ABOUT IT.
363
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,060
WE CAN HAVE
GUILT-FREE SEX NOW.
364
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,100
- I WASN'T GUILTY.
- WELL, I WAS.
365
00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:38,000
- WELL, SOMETIMES GUILT CAN
MAKE THE SEX BETTER, YOU KNOW?
366
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:39,500
- SOMETIMES IT CAN.
367
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:41,140
- OH!
368
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,640
DRESSING ROOM QUICKIE?
369
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:44,310
I'LL LET YOU PLAY
WITH MY PUTTER. COME ON.
370
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:47,140
- AHEM.
- LOOKING GOOD, HANK.
371
00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:49,210
YOU GUYS READY
TO GO TO CHURCH?
372
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,950
- HMM.
373
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:53,420
- ROBERTA,
WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME
374
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:56,920
IF I TOLD YOU
WE HAVE YOUR NEXT WEEDS?
375
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:58,290
- GREAT.
376
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,060
TELL US.
377
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,660
- THE NAME OF THE SHOW IS
HOT LIPS.
378
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,630
YEAH.
379
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,530
IT'S CENTERS
AROUND THE SEXPLOITS
380
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,130
OF AN ESTHETICIAN
OF THE STARS.
381
00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:11,670
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO STARE
INTO THE BUSINESS END
382
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:14,240
OF SANDY BULLOCK'S VAGINA?
383
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,010
THIS WOMAN KNOWS.
384
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,380
WHAT'S IT LIKE
TO TAKE OFF THE HAIR
385
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:22,250
FROM ROBIN WILLIAMS'
MAMMOTH BALLSACK?
386
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,350
THIS WOMAN IS FAMILIAR
WITH EVERY VEIN.
387
00:14:25,380 --> 00:14:27,080
- I DON'T--
[clears throat]
388
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,490
I DON'T DO BALLS, SO...
389
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,490
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
390
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,060
BUT ANYWAY, UH...
391
00:14:38,090 --> 00:14:39,930
[laughs]
392
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,200
BUT...UNH!
[stomach gurgling]
393
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,970
OH! AHEM.
394
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,100
MARCY HAS STORIES AND STORIES
AND STORIES
395
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,340
THAT GO FOR DAYS
AND DAYS AND DAYS,
396
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:51,270
SO I'M GONNA HAND IT OFF TO HER,
[gas groans]
397
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:54,240
AND IF YOU WILL
KINDLY EXCUSE ME,
398
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,250
I'M HAVING
A LITTLE TUMMY TROUBLE.
399
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,910
[groans]
400
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,050
- UM, YEAH.
401
00:15:05,090 --> 00:15:06,590
I, UH--
402
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,720
I GOT SOME STORIES, KIDS.
403
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,130
I'VE, UH, SEEN SOME SHIT.
404
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,160
I'VE SEEN...
405
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:19,670
I'VE GOT STORIES...
DAMN.
406
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,470
I GOT STORIES THAT'LL
STRAIGHTEN YOUR PUBES.
407
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,380
- MAYBE YOU COULD
TELL US ONE.
408
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:32,020
- YEAH, OF COURSE.
I, UM...
409
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:36,350
SHIT, UH, LET ME THINK.
410
00:15:36,390 --> 00:15:38,120
UH, UH,
411
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:41,720
'CAUSE I'M TOTALLY FUCKING
DRAWING A BLANK HERE.
412
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,430
UM...
413
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:44,690
- SO...
[clears throat]
414
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:48,430
MARCY GETS A CALL
FROM A VERY FAMOUS ACTRESS.
415
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:50,400
I'M NOT GONNA NAME
ANY NAMES HERE.
416
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:52,070
NICOLE.
417
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,470
IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
418
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,170
SHE'S SHOOTING AT UNIVERSAL.
419
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,410
HER LEADING MAN HAS BEEN
FLIRTING WITH HER ALL DAY LONG.
420
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,640
SEAN.
421
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,510
HE WANTS TO SEE HER
IN HIS TRAILER
422
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,450
TO TALK ABOUT THE SCRIPT,
HAITI, WHATEVER.
423
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,750
CLEARLY IT IS ON.
424
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:09,290
BUT NICOLE IS SPORTING
425
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,650
KIND OF A WINTER BUSH
SITUATION DOWN SOUTH,
426
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,360
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
427
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:16,730
WHAT IS A HAIRY-SCARY
"A"-LISTER TO DO?
428
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,790
SHE CALLS THE MARSTER
OVER HERE.
429
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:21,260
AND WHAT DOES MARCY DO?
430
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:24,330
SHE ACCIDENTALLY TEARS OFF
A PIECE OF NICOLE'S LABIA.
431
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:27,470
MAJORA, NOT MINORA.
BUT THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE.
432
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,610
THE MOVIE SHUTS DOWN.
433
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,340
- YEAH, FUNNY--
434
00:16:31,370 --> 00:16:33,140
FUNNY SCENE,
BUT WHAT'S THE SHOW?
435
00:16:33,180 --> 00:16:35,240
- THAT IS
A VERY GOOD QUESTION, ROBERTA.
436
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:39,320
TO ME, IT'S ABOUT THE CRAZY SHIT
THAT WOMEN DO TO THEMSELVES
437
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:40,720
IN THE NAME OF MEN.
438
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:45,250
IT'S ABOUT A SMART,
SUCCESSFUL, MODERN WOMAN,
439
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:47,220
LOOKING FOR LOVE IN A CITY
440
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:49,390
THAT DOES NOT PLACE
A WHOLE LOT OF VALUE ON IT.
441
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,490
- AND IT'S ABOUT PUSSY.
442
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:53,360
IT'S ABOUT GETTING SOME,
443
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,070
GIVING IT AWAY,
AND KEEPING IT CLEAN.
444
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,570
[laughter]
445
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,210
- YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THE HISTORY OF THE GAME, HANK?
446
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,710
- PRECIOUS LITTLE, LLOYD.
447
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,410
- WELL,
IT'S NOT ALTOGETHER CLEAR,
448
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,640
IT'S UP FOR DEBATE,
449
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,550
BUT SOME HISTORIANS CLAIM
IT DATES BACK
450
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,720
TO THE ROMAN GAME
OF PAGANICA,
451
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,780
WHERE, UH, PARTICIPANTS
USED A BENT STICK
452
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,290
TO HIT
A STUFFED LEATHER BALL.
453
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,620
- IS THAT RIGHT?
THAT IS FASCINATING.
454
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:20,120
HOW DO YOU WORK
FOR THIS FUCKING DRONE?
455
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,130
- HE'S MY BOSS.
456
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,260
HAVE YOU LOVED
EVERY BOSS YOU'VE EVER HAD?
457
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,530
- I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER REALLY HAD A BOSS.
458
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,130
- WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
459
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,460
- TO HAVE A BOSS,
YOU KIND OF NEED TO HAVE A JOB,
460
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,800
AND I'VE NEVER HAD ONE--
A JOB.
461
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,670
- I'M ACTUALLY HAVING SEX
462
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,570
WITH SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER BEEN
GAINFULLY EMPLOYED?
463
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,140
- I KNOW.
IT'S WEIRD, RIGHT?
464
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,210
[cell phone ringing]
WHAT?
465
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,180
[ringing]
466
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,540
WHO CALLIN' MY PHONE?
467
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,610
- SILENCE!
468
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,680
- I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
469
00:17:42,710 --> 00:17:44,510
[beeps]
GO AHEAD, LLOYD.
470
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,420
- BEAUTIFUL, LLOYD.
471
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,420
- YOU'RE UP, ABBY.
- YES. AHEM.
472
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,160
- OHH.
473
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,730
HOLD ON A SECOND THERE,
ABBY.
474
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:04,730
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
475
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,210
JUST KEEP THIS ARM STRAIGHT.
- MM-HMM.
476
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,540
- AND USE YOUR HIPS.
477
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:14,780
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
478
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:16,310
- THANK YOU, LLOYD.
[clears throat]
479
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:18,710
- YOU DOG, YOU.
480
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:21,550
- GOOD SHOT, ABBY.
481
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,390
- I'M UP.
482
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:24,590
DOOT-DOOT.
483
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,720
[groans]
484
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,490
WHOA, OH.
[farts]
485
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:33,460
SORRY.
486
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:40,300
OH!
487
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:42,640
OKAY, I GET A HOOLIHAN
ON THAT ONE, RIGHT?
488
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:44,170
- THAT'S A MULLIGAN.
489
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,340
- RIGHT, WHATEVER.
I GOT THAT.
490
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:47,880
- HANG ON A SECOND, HANK.
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
491
00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:52,450
KEEP YOUR LEFT ARM STRAIGHT,
COME ON.
492
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,680
- [laughs]
493
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,350
- YOU'RE GONNA NEED A LITTLE
ASTROGLIDE BACK THERE, LLOYD.
494
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:58,550
I'M NOT THAT EASY.
- AND USE YOUR HIPS NOW.
495
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,860
- YOU'RE
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
496
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:09,870
OH! FUCK ME.
497
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,700
RUN, YOU CUNT!
498
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,670
- NO, NO, NO.
499
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,670
- GET THERE, GET THERE.
500
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:17,970
- HANK, THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
501
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,610
A LITTLE RESPECT
FOR THE GAME, PLEASE.
502
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,710
NOW, WE'RE NOT
GOING TO GO ANYWHERE
503
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:23,780
UNTIL YOU DRIVE THAT BALL.
504
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:37,830
- OH! PULLED IT.
505
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,560
WHEE.
506
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,730
- AHEM.
507
00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:48,240
- GREAT FUCKING MEETING,
508
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,740
AND THEY BOUGHT IT
IN THE ROOM,
509
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,970
JUST LIKE
I SAID THEY WOULD.
510
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,540
I AM SO EXCITED, MARCY.
511
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:55,840
I KNEW YOU
HAD A PROJECT IN YOU
512
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,280
JUST WAITING TO GET OUT.
513
00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:58,980
RUNKLE, HOW COME
YOU NEVER SAW THIS?
514
00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:00,680
I DON'T KNOW, STU.
515
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,890
I GUESS I JUST MISSED IT.
516
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,490
GUESS I MISSED
A LOT OF THINGS.
517
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,420
- HEY, YOU WANT COME BACK
TO MY PLACE,
518
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:08,920
CELEBRATE FURTHER?
519
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,730
- SURE.
GO GET THE CAR.
520
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,730
- SORRY I CAN'T INVITE YOU,
CHARLIE,
521
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,960
BUT THAT WOULD BE WEIRD.
522
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,870
- I AGREE, STU.
523
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:19,270
ANYWAY, LIKE I SAID,
I'M NOT INTERESTED
524
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,840
IN NUDING UP WITH YOU GUYS.
525
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:23,570
BESIDES, HANK HAS FIXED ME UP
ON A BLIND DATE.
526
00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:25,440
SHE SHOULD BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.
527
00:20:25,470 --> 00:20:28,810
APPARENTLY, SHE'S DTF.
528
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,750
- LOVE TO HEAR THAT.
529
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,720
PEACE, BRO.
530
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:35,280
[Stu laughing]
531
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,720
- YOU REALLY
SAVED MY ASS, RUNKLE.
532
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,420
- I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT.
533
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:43,830
I JUST GAVE YOU
A LITTLE PUSH, THAT'S ALL.
534
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,390
YOU DID THE REST.
535
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:50,900
- OKAY.
[clears throat]
536
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:54,040
WELL, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
537
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,700
- YOU TOO, MARCE.
538
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,490
- AH, YOU MUST BE CHARLIE.
539
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,030
- AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
540
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:19,400
- HANK TOLD ME
YOU WERE BALD.
541
00:21:19,430 --> 00:21:21,600
- HA! RIGHT.
542
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:22,800
OF COURSE, HE DID.
543
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:26,370
- HE ALSO SAID YOU FUCK
LIKE A CHAMP.
544
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,470
NICE TO MEET YOU.
545
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,740
I'M NUMBER 21.
546
00:21:35,940 --> 00:21:37,580
- HEY, YOU THINK I CAN
RETURN THESE CLUBS
547
00:21:37,610 --> 00:21:41,550
TO THE PRO SHOP
WHEN I'M DONE TODAY?
548
00:21:41,580 --> 00:21:43,950
JESUS, WOW.
MEAN FACE GUY.
549
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,130
[shorts unzip]
550
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,000
[urinating]
551
00:21:53,030 --> 00:21:57,000
[whistling]
552
00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:59,700
- [groans]
553
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:01,600
- UH-OH.
554
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,870
HEY, COME ON.
- COME HERE!
555
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,710
- HANK, LLOYD!
- I WAS RAKING!
556
00:22:06,740 --> 00:22:07,710
I WAS CLEANING UP.
557
00:22:07,740 --> 00:22:09,580
- STOP THIS!
- COME HERE!
558
00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:12,880
- YOU'RE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
559
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,850
- COME HERE!
- OOH!
560
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,890
- [growls]
- WHOA!
561
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,450
- OH, MY GOD!
562
00:22:18,490 --> 00:22:20,720
- SHUT UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
563
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,690
HOW DARE YOUR DISRESPECT
THE GOLF COURSE!
564
00:22:22,730 --> 00:22:24,130
- LLOYD!
- SHUT THE FUCK UP!
565
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,030
- LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR.!
- [grunts]
566
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:30,670
HANK, I'M SORRY.
- GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
567
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:32,600
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT
CAME OVER ME. I'M SORRY.
568
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,640
- I DO THAT SOMETIMES.
I MAKE PEOPLE ANGRY.
569
00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:36,000
BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO NOW?
570
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,640
- WHAT?
571
00:22:37,670 --> 00:22:39,740
- YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME
BACK TO ABBY.
572
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,950
YEAH, BECAUSE
THIS RIGHT HERE?
573
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:44,680
THIS IS
NOT A LOVE CONNECTION.
574
00:22:44,710 --> 00:22:46,520
- OH. MOST CERTAINLY
IS NOT.
575
00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:48,050
- BUT THAT SEXY
LITTLE LEGAL BEAGLE--
576
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,150
THAT IS JUST WHAT
THE DOCTOR ORDERED FOR ME.
577
00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:51,250
- YEAH, BUT MY WORD
IS MY BOND,
578
00:22:51,290 --> 00:22:53,620
AND I TOLD ABBY THAT
I WOULD TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.
579
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:55,820
- BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SHE WAS
TAKING GREAT CARE OF ME.
580
00:22:55,860 --> 00:22:57,160
IN FACT,
I HAVE NEVER FELT
581
00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:58,960
SO WELL TAKEN CARE OF
BY AN ATTORNEY.
582
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:01,060
IT WAS ALMOST EROTIC.
- IT'S OKAY.
583
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:04,530
I WAS FEELING A LITTLE STRESSED,
A LITTLE OVERWORKED,
584
00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:06,470
BUT I LEARNED FROM THE BEST.
585
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,000
- YEAH, YOU
GOTTA BE CAREFUL, LLOYD.
586
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,870
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET ANOTHER
ONE OF THOSE ANAL FISSURES.
587
00:23:09,910 --> 00:23:11,740
- OH, I MOST
CERTAINLY DO NOT.
588
00:23:11,770 --> 00:23:13,610
THAT WAS AN AWFUL TIME.
A TERRIBLE TIME.
589
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,810
LIKE HAVING TWO ANUSES.
590
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,480
- DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE?
591
00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:19,620
- WELL, I DO.
- REALLY?
592
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,020
- THE DOCTOR SAID I WAS
SO SPECIAL,
593
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:22,620
I'M IN ALL THE BOOKS.
594
00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:23,750
- RIGHT ON.
595
00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:27,760
NO, THAT'S YOUR KID.
596
00:23:27,790 --> 00:23:29,490
OH, THERE IT IS.
RIGHT THE FUCK ON.
597
00:23:29,530 --> 00:23:30,560
- YEAH.
598
00:23:30,590 --> 00:23:33,030
- LOOKS LIKE A MAP
OF THE WESTERN UNITED STATES.
599
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:34,130
[both laughing]
600
00:23:38,530 --> 00:23:39,870
- OHH.
601
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,770
FINE, I'LL
BE YOUR ATTORNEY AGAIN.
602
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,040
- REALLY? YOU WILL?
603
00:23:43,070 --> 00:23:45,240
THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
604
00:23:45,270 --> 00:23:47,140
- YES. UNLESS I GET YOU OFF,
605
00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:49,010
YOU'LL BE
OF NO USE TO ANYONE,
606
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,010
ME, MOST IMPORTANTLY.
607
00:23:51,050 --> 00:23:54,220
- WELL, THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY GET ME OFF THEN.
608
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:55,550
- NOPE.
609
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:57,020
NO MORE SEX.
- WHAT?
610
00:23:57,050 --> 00:23:59,120
NO MORE SEXYTIME?
611
00:23:59,150 --> 00:24:04,190
- I MEAN, IF I'M GOING TO SEE
THIS THROUGH TO THE END,
612
00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:06,060
WE CAN'T HAVE
A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.
613
00:24:06,090 --> 00:24:08,630
- BUT WE DO HAVE
A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.
614
00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:10,970
- NOT ANYMORE, WE DON'T.
615
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,030
- BUT...
616
00:24:12,070 --> 00:24:13,840
- BUT WHAT?
- YOU GOT YOURS.
617
00:24:13,870 --> 00:24:15,500
- I KNOW.
618
00:24:15,540 --> 00:24:16,770
IT WAS GOOD TOO.
619
00:24:16,810 --> 00:24:19,070
I'M SORRY, PAL.
620
00:24:19,110 --> 00:24:20,780
- FINE.
BE THAT WAY.
621
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:23,610
- OH! YOU CAN
GIVE IT UP THAT EASILY?
622
00:24:23,650 --> 00:24:24,910
I'M ACTUALLY INSULTED.
623
00:24:24,950 --> 00:24:26,750
- NO, NO, IT'S NOT GONNA
BE EASY, TRUST ME.
624
00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:28,020
I GOT A WHOLE MOVIE
PLAYING IN MY HEAD,
625
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,280
AND IT'S
PRETTY FUCKING AROUSING.
626
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,020
- MMM.
627
00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:32,050
I KNOW THAT MOVIE.
628
00:24:32,090 --> 00:24:33,160
- YEAH?
629
00:24:33,190 --> 00:24:35,290
- I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
- STARRING YOU.
630
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,890
- I GUESS IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE
TO KEEP US GOING, HUH?
631
00:24:37,930 --> 00:24:38,930
- I GUESS SO.
632
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,000
- IT'LL BE INTERESTING.
633
00:24:40,030 --> 00:24:42,100
- WHAT'LL BE INTERESTING?
634
00:24:42,130 --> 00:24:44,870
- WELL, THERE WILL COME A DAY
635
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,670
WHEN ALL THIS HORRID
LEGAL STRIFE IS BEHIND US.
636
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:49,570
- OH, LORD,
I FUCKING HOPE SO.
637
00:24:49,610 --> 00:24:53,810
- AND IT'LL BE INTERESTING
TO, UH,
638
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,950
SEE WHAT YOU WANT THEN.
639
00:24:56,980 --> 00:24:58,610
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
640
00:24:58,650 --> 00:25:02,250
- YEAH, I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
641
00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:43,630
- HEY, BEN.
642
00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:45,630
- HOW ARE YOU, HANK?
643
00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,330
- HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING?
644
00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:52,170
- YOU KNOW, WE NEVER REALLY GOT
OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT, DID WE?
645
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,040
- NO, WE DIDN'T.
646
00:25:54,070 --> 00:25:55,770
THAT'S PROBABLY MY FAULT.
647
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,640
- IT'S DEFINITELY
YOUR FAULT.
648
00:25:57,670 --> 00:25:58,810
- MM.
649
00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:04,280
- YOUR KID IS TALENTED.
650
00:26:04,310 --> 00:26:06,210
- SO'S YOURS.
651
00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:10,150
WELL, WE GOT THAT
IN COMMON, RIGHT?
652
00:26:10,190 --> 00:26:11,390
- YEAH.
653
00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:14,260
AND WE SEEM TO HAVE
THE SAME TASTE IN WOMEN.
654
00:26:14,290 --> 00:26:17,160
- YOU KNOW, HANK,
I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU.
655
00:26:17,190 --> 00:26:19,190
IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
656
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:22,800
NOT THAT I DON'T WANT IT
TO BE WHAT YOU THINK IT IS,
657
00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:24,930
IT'S JUST SHE'S NOT...
658
00:26:24,970 --> 00:26:26,400
SHE'S JUST NOT THERE YET.
659
00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:30,070
- OKAY,
THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.
660
00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:32,270
- THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M GONNA STOP TRYING.
661
00:26:32,310 --> 00:26:33,880
- I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO.
662
00:26:33,910 --> 00:26:36,010
IF YOU DID,
YOU WOULDN'T DESERVE HER.
663
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,650
[acoustic guitars playing]
664
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,920
- SHE SURE IS
SOMETHING SPECIAL ALL RIGHT.
665
00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:42,050
- AMEN.
666
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:48,320
*
667
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,160
- * WOKE UP TO THE SOUND
668
00:26:50,190 --> 00:26:53,930
* OF POURING RAIN
669
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:59,700
* THE WIND WOULD WHISPER
AND I'D THINK OF YOU *
670
00:26:59,740 --> 00:27:02,170
* AND ALL THE TEARS
YOU'VE CRIED *
671
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,110
* HAVE CALLED MY NAME
672
00:27:06,140 --> 00:27:08,310
* AND WHEN YOU NEEDED ME
673
00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:11,980
* I CAME THROUGH
674
00:27:12,010 --> 00:27:17,790
* PAINT A PICTURE
OF THE DAYS GONE BY *
675
00:27:17,820 --> 00:27:19,150
* WITH LOVE I'M BLIND
676
00:27:19,190 --> 00:27:23,290
* AND YOU
CAN MAKE ME SEE *
677
00:27:23,330 --> 00:27:29,800
* I'D STARE A LIFETIME
INTO YOUR EYES *
678
00:27:29,830 --> 00:27:35,400
* SO THAT I KNEW THAT YOU
WERE THERE FOR ME *
679
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:41,410
* TIME AFTER TIME,
YOU WERE THERE FOR ME *
680
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,850
* REMEMBER YESTERDAY
681
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,320
* WALKING HAND IN HAND
682
00:27:47,350 --> 00:27:49,950
* LOVE LETTERS
IN THE SAND *
683
00:27:49,990 --> 00:27:53,460
* I REMEMBER YOU
684
00:27:53,490 --> 00:27:56,260
* ALL THE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
685
00:27:56,290 --> 00:27:59,260
* AND EVERY ENDLESS DAY
686
00:27:59,290 --> 00:28:01,960
* I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY
687
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:06,900
* I REMEMBER YOU
688
00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:09,470
* YEAH
689
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,470
* OH OH OH
690
00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:14,440
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