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1
00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:09,490
- PREVIOUSLY
ON CALIFORNICATION...
2
00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:12,530
- WE COULD ACTUALLY USE
A LEAD GUITARIST, YOU KNOW,
3
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,100
FOR THAT EDDIE VAN HALEN SHIT.
4
00:00:14,130 --> 00:00:15,330
- WHAT DO YOU GUYS
CALL YOURSELVES?
5
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,530
- QUEENS OF DOGTOWN.
- YOU WANT TO KNOW
6
00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:17,830
HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH?
- MM-MM.
7
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,800
NO.
NO, NO, NO.
8
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,810
- I GOT TO GET IT
UP TO 100.
9
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,510
TRIPLE DIGITS,
THEN I CAN DIE HAPPY.
10
00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,810
- MY TITS ARE SO SORE.
I'M CRAMPY AS HELL.
11
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,780
AND I'VE BEEN THROWING UP
IN MY MOUTH ALL DAY LONG.
12
00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:34,220
- NICE.
YOU'RE PROBABLY PREGGERS.
13
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:35,750
YOU ARE QUITE A SLUT.
14
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:37,250
- BECAUSE I'M
A COCKY FUCKING ATTORNEY,
15
00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:38,460
AND THIS IS A GREAT CASE
FOR ME.
16
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:41,260
BUT IF YOU INSIST ON DICKING
AROUND AND WASTING MY TIME,
17
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:42,490
I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU ROT
IN JAIL.
18
00:00:42,530 --> 00:00:43,490
WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE?
19
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:45,530
- HANK MOODY,
SASHA BINGHAM.
20
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,200
- SASHA BINGHAM.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT YOU DO,
21
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,400
SASHA BINGHAM?
- [laughs]
22
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:50,130
SHE'S A FUCKING MOVIE STAR,
YOU NUDNIK.
23
00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,340
- HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO KNOW THAT?
24
00:00:51,370 --> 00:00:53,140
- WITH SASHA'S INTEREST
25
00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:54,670
AND WITH HANK'S FACE
ALL OVER THE NEWS RIGHT NOW,
26
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,140
WE COULD BE AT SUNDANCE
27
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:57,340
THIS TIME NEXT YEAR.
28
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:58,540
- JUST GET ME
OUT OF IT, CHARLIE.
29
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,450
I CAN'T FOCUS ON A STUPID
FUCKING SCREENPLAY RIGHT NOW.
30
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,580
- I CAN'T DO THAT.
31
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,280
STU'S BEEN CALLING.
32
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:05,580
[keys clacking]
33
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:16,330
[toilet flushing]
34
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,260
- BRILLIANT!
35
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,270
PURE, UNADULTERATED BRILLIANCE!
36
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,800
- WOW, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN
ONE HELL OF A DOOKIE.
37
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:24,470
YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?
38
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,470
- THE SCRIPT IS GOOD, HANK.
39
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,540
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
TOTAL GAME-CHANGER.
40
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:31,380
- DON'T SAY THAT EVER AGAIN--
GAME-CHANGER.
41
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:32,510
I'LL KILL YOU.
42
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,410
- YOU TOTALLY,
TOTALLY NAILED IT.
43
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,850
YOU TOOK THAT BOOK, AND YOU...
[grunting]
44
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,520
YOU MADE IT YOUR OWN.
45
00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:39,650
- IT IS MY OWN, CHARLIE.
46
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,820
- RIGHT.
RIGHT.
47
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,890
YOUR WORDS ARE DOWNRIGHT
BRONER-INDUCING.
48
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,190
YEAH, I ALMOST PLEASURED MYSELF
IN THERE.
49
00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,630
- KIND OF LIKE
A SOLO-BLUMPKIN DEAL?
50
00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:51,260
- JOKE ALL YOU LIKE,
51
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,160
BUT MY BRIEFS
ARE WAY CROWDED RIGHT NOW.
52
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,200
- WELL, I AM JUST OVERJOYED
THAT MY TALES
53
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:56,730
OF MELANCHOLY
AND THE INFINITE SADNESS
54
00:01:56,770 --> 00:01:58,700
CAN INDUCE SOME SORT
OF A REACTION
55
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:00,400
IN YOU LIKE THAT,
OLD MAN.
56
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,840
- THIS IS GONNA BE
A REALLY GOOD MOVIE, HANK.
57
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:06,210
I SMELL--I SMELL ME
AN INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARD.
58
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,510
- MM. YOU THINK THEY MIGHT GET
IT ON DEMAND AT THE STATE PEN?
59
00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:10,880
- CHEER UP,
WILL YOU, PAL?
60
00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:12,280
THIS IS GOOD FOR BOTH OF US.
61
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,680
YOU, PUMPING
OUT THE LITERARY GREATNESS.
62
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,890
ME, RIDING YOUR COATTAILS,
JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.
63
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,820
- YES, WELL, AS MUCH
AS I ENJOY
64
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:20,820
A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
EGO HUMMER,
65
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:23,730
IT IS TIME FOR YOU
TO TAKE YOUR LEAVE, BALD SIR.
66
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,200
I HAVE MUCH SELF-PITY
IN WHICH TO WALLOW.
67
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:28,300
- NO, NO, NO.
NO TIME TO WALLOW.
68
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:30,200
WE GOT US A DINNER DATE
WITH STU AND ZIG.
69
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:31,640
- ZIG?
WHAT THE FUCK IS A ZIG?
70
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:35,670
- ZIG SAMITAUR,
THE BILLIONAIRE.
71
00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:37,810
HE'S FINANCING THE MOVIE,
YOU DUMB SHIT.
72
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,740
- SOUNDS BRUTAL.
COUNT ME OUT.
73
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:41,250
- IT IS BRUTAL,
BUT ESSENTIAL.
74
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,880
NO MONEY,
NO HONEY.
75
00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:44,550
- WELL, NO CAN DO, RUNKS.
76
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:47,850
I GOT A DATE WITH MY DONG
AND SOME HOTEL-ROOM PO'NOGRAPHY.
77
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,420
THE GOOD STUFF TOO--
PENETRATION AND EVERYTHING.
78
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,790
- YOUR DONG'S GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
TILL DINNER'S OVER.
79
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,960
THE MONEY MAN WANTS TO MEET HIM
SOME WRITER.
80
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:56,330
HE'S A BIG FAN, BY THE WAY.
- OH, SHIT.
81
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,260
- BIG, BIG FAN.
82
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,230
- YOU EVER NOTICE
WHEN THEY DO THE EDITING
83
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,270
IN THE HOTEL-ROOM PO'NOGRAPHY,
84
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,800
AND THEY TAKE OUT
ALL THE PENETRATION
85
00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:04,570
AND IT'S JUST PUMPING,
SWEATY MAN ASS,
86
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,500
IT LOOKS LIKE JUST ABOUT
87
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:07,470
ANY MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY PICTURE
EVER MADE?
88
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:11,580
[upbeat music]
89
00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:19,550
*
90
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:52,420
- ISN'T IT A LITTLE EARLY?
91
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:54,480
- WHAT? FOR AN ITTY-BITTY GLASS
OF VINO?
92
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,790
- UH--
- FUCK YOU,
93
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,450
YOU TEETOTALING BUZZKILL.
94
00:03:57,490 --> 00:03:58,590
ALL RIGHT?
- OKAY.
95
00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,320
- NOW IT'S TIME
FOR BOTTOMS UP.
96
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,460
THAT'S RIGHT.
97
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,960
[feedback whines, note plays]
- WHA--
98
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,730
[glass shatters]
- MARCY, OH, GOD!
99
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,830
- SORRY, MARCY.
- NO.
100
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,370
NO, IT'S OKAY.
101
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,670
- MARCE, I'M SORRY.
102
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:13,570
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR LETTING THEM PRACTICE HERE.
103
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,770
- IT'S FINE.
104
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,470
THAT'S CUTE.
105
00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:19,410
[car horn honks]
GIRLS GETTING TOGETHER
106
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,680
TO PLAY THE ROCK AND ROLL--
107
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:21,850
I LIKE IT.
108
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,480
I LIKE TO PATRONIZE THE ARTS.
109
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:27,620
- HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING
FRO--FROM CHARLIE?
110
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:30,450
- ABOUT THE TRIAL?
NOT REALLY.
111
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:32,620
I MEAN, I COULD ASK,
112
00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:34,490
BUT IT WOULD MEAN HAVING
AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION
113
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,690
WITH BUTTERBEAN HIMSELF,
114
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,730
AND I DON'T WANT HIM
GETTING THE WRONG IDEA.
115
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,470
- HMM.
- WHY?
116
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,700
ARE YOU MISSING YOU
SOME HANKNESS?
117
00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:45,670
- WHICH ONE? THE ONE I LOVED
OR THE ONE WHO FUCKED MIA?
118
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,070
I DON'T KNOW.
119
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,370
ALL I KNOW RIGHT NOW
IS IT ALL FEELS A LITTLE UNREAL.
120
00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:51,510
IT'S KIND OF LIKE
A WALKING DAYMARE.
121
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,780
- FANCY-ASS...
- A DAYMARE?
122
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:55,040
- YEAH, IT'S A HANK THING.
123
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,050
- NO, I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
124
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,550
HOLY FUCK NUTS.
125
00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:00,350
WHERE DID BECCA FIND
THESE MISCREANTS--THE POUND?
126
00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:02,650
THEY LOOK LIKE A PACK
OF FERAL ANIMALS.
127
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:04,520
- WELL, LET'S GO TO THE STORE
128
00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:05,660
AND GET THEM SOMETHING
TO GNAW ON.
129
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:08,960
- AND LEAVE THEM HERE ALL ALONE?
- YEAH, THEY'RE FINE.
130
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,890
THEY'RE TOUGH CHICKS.
NO ONE'S GONNA MESS WITH THEM.
131
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,600
- I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
ABOUT THEM.
132
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:13,730
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE HOUSE.
- COME ON.
133
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,430
- I DON'T WANT THEM SACRIFICING
A FREAKING GOAT IN HERE.
134
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:23,070
- SO CAN WE SHOOT THE PICTURE
IN 30 DAYS?
135
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,840
- ABSOLUTELY.
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
136
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,450
MAYBE.
LET ME LOOK AT THE SCHEDULE.
137
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,650
- HANK, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- [laughs]
138
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,450
HANK'S NOT REALLY
A SHOOTING SCHEDULE KIND OF GUY.
139
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,920
- SILENCE, AGENT!
140
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:41,890
- WELL, ZIG-ZAG,
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
141
00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:44,460
I--I REALLY
DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
142
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:45,860
- AND SASHA BINGHAM WILL STAR?
143
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:48,000
- YES, SHE'S READING
AS WE SPEAK.
144
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,570
- THERE'S NO SAYING NO
TO THIS DRAFT.
145
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,130
HANK REALLY KILLED IT.
146
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:54,870
- SHE IS REALLY FUCKABLE,
ISN'T SHE?
147
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:57,170
BEAUTIFUL BREASTS...
148
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,780
BLOW-JOB SMILE.
149
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,050
HANK, HAVE YOU MADE LOVE
TO HER?
150
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,980
YOU'RE QUITE
THE COCKSMAN, NO?
151
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:08,750
- NO COMMENT, ZIGGY.
A GENTLEMAN NEVER TELLS.
152
00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:09,990
- THAT'S TRUE.
153
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:12,620
HE KEEPS IT IN HIS WANK BANK
UNTIL HE'S READY TO PULL IT OUT
154
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:13,920
AND PLAY
WITH HIS LITTLE PEE-PEE.
155
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:18,460
[laughter]
156
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:21,000
OF COURSE, I HAVEN'T HAD
AN ERECTION IN THE PAST DECADE,
157
00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:22,600
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.
158
00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:24,470
BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME
FROM GIVING FACE RIDES
159
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:27,770
TO MY SISTER-WIVES,
RIGHT, LADIES?
160
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,010
- MY GOD, ZIG,
YOU HAVE GOT A WAY WITH WORDS.
161
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,780
FACE RIDES
TO YOUR SISTER-WIVES--RESPECT.
162
00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:38,750
- AND WHAT ABOUT EDDIE NERO?
163
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:40,950
HAVE WE, UH, LOCKED HIM YET?
- HE'S CIRCLING.
164
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:44,950
- [shouting] WHAT THE FUCK
DOES THAT MEAN, AGENT?
165
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,590
- IT'S VERY HARD
TO NAIL HIM DOWN, ZIG!
166
00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:49,230
A LITTLE SLIPPERY!
WE'RE DOING OUR BEST!
167
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,890
- AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
168
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:54,600
WITH SASHA BINGHAM'S PUDDUM
AND HER MAGNIFICENT BOOBIES,
169
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,470
I CAN PRE-SELL
THE FOREIGN TERRITORIES
170
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,970
SO THAT WE'LL BE IN THE BLACK
BEFORE WE SHOOT AN INCH OF FILM.
171
00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:05,070
OKAY.
172
00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:08,880
TO FUCKING & PUNCHING:
THE MOVIE.
173
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:12,220
- MM.
174
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:16,520
- HERE.
- GOD, I LOVE THAT TITLE.
175
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,760
MM.
176
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:22,890
YOU AND ME, HANK--
177
00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:26,000
WE KNOW THINGS...
178
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,100
DARK THINGS.
179
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,770
- MM.
180
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,830
- I LOVE YOUR WRITING.
181
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,040
- HIS BEST YET.
182
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,510
- SCREENPLAYS BORE ME TO TEARS.
183
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:36,440
- WORD.
184
00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:39,580
- I LIKE TO HAVE THINGS
ACTED OUT FOR ME.
185
00:07:39,610 --> 00:07:41,550
LET'S GO TO MY HOUSE
AND DO A READING.
186
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,110
SHALL WE?
187
00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,280
GIRLS, HAVE THEM BRING
THE CAR AROUND IMMEDIATELY.
188
00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:47,220
OKAY?
189
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,720
- FUCK.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
190
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,790
- WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING FUCK?
191
00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:57,260
- MY BOOBIES ARE SO BIG
AND SWOLLEN.
192
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:58,290
THEY'RE KILLING ME.
193
00:07:58,330 --> 00:07:59,960
- RIGHT.
- HERE, FEEL.
194
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,570
- I'M GOOD.
I'M GOOD.
195
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,670
- NO, SERIOUSLY.
- MARCE...
196
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,000
- GRAB THAT TIT. SQUEEZE IT.
- I DON'T WANT TO FEEL YOUR TIT.
197
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,270
- SQUEEZE IT.
198
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:09,040
OW. YEAH.
WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
199
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,810
- WELL, WHAT
HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU?
200
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,040
- [crying]
201
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,740
- OH, NO, MARCY,
ARE YOU CRYING?
202
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:14,910
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
203
00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,180
- I DON'T KNOW.
204
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:18,150
- OKAY, SUDDEN CRYING JAGS,
205
00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,880
SORE BOOBIES...
206
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,320
- AND I'M LATE.
- BINGO.
207
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,290
COME ON, LET'S GO GET YOU
A PREGNANCY TEST.
208
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,620
- AND SOME SNACKS?
209
00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:28,190
- AND SOME SNACKS.
- OW! JESUS, WOMAN.
210
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:30,230
YOU'RE KILLING MY TITTIES.
I'M SERIOUS.
211
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:38,300
- HENRY, THIS IS
BOB'S DAUGHTER CLEA.
212
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:40,970
DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
213
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,310
- WELL...
214
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:45,210
- NO.
- I DO RECOGNIZE YOU.
215
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,640
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- SURE I DO...
216
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,150
FROM YOUR BOOK.
217
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,920
YOUR PICTURE'S
ON THE BACK.
218
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,020
OOH, WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR FACE?
219
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:57,050
- OH, THIS.
UH, IT'S NOTHING.
220
00:08:57,090 --> 00:08:58,890
YOU SHOULD SEE
THE OTHER GUY.
221
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,690
- [laughing]
THE OTHER GUY.
222
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:03,930
I LOVE IT.
223
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,000
- WOW, HOPE
SHE DOESN'T PRESS CHARGES.
224
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:08,160
- HE.
IT WAS A HE.
225
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,630
- RIGHT.
WELL, I'M OFF TO BED.
226
00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,770
IT WAS REALLY NICE
TO MEET YOU, HENRY.
227
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,340
- HEY, SHE'S, UM...
228
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:16,770
NICE.
229
00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:17,910
HOW OLD MIGHT SHE BE?
230
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:18,940
- 16.
231
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,980
- OH, SHE'S 16!
232
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:24,910
HOW DELIGHTFUL, HANK.
233
00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:26,750
VERY WELL PLAYED,
BY THE WAY--
234
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:29,220
SO, UM...
235
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:31,350
EROTIC.
236
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,860
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.
237
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:36,090
NOT ONLY HAVE I DECIDED
TO FULLY FINANCE
238
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,960
THIS SHINING EXAMPLE
OF ART-HOUSE EROTICA,
239
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,970
BUT I MYSELF AM IN POSSESSION
240
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,400
OF MY FIRST DIAMOND-HARD
ERECTION
241
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:47,300
SINCE THE CLINTON WHITE HOUSE,
242
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,310
THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR WORDS,
HANK MOODY.
243
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,840
- RESPECT.
244
00:09:50,870 --> 00:09:52,780
- TEND TO ME, TABBY.
245
00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:54,240
TAKE ME IN YOUR MOU--
NOT YOU, CORRINE, NO.
246
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,340
YOU GIVE LOUSY HEAD.
247
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:57,280
YOU'RE TIMID,
AND YOU LACK FOCUS.
248
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:59,120
WE GOT TO GET YOU
SOME RITALIN.
249
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,950
OKAY, COME ON.
OVER HERE.
250
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,950
OH, YES.
251
00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:06,120
OH.
252
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,330
OH, YES.
253
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,860
ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL, HANK?
254
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:12,660
- OH.
OHH.
255
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,060
- MM.
- YOU AND ME...
256
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:16,970
MEN TOGETHER.
257
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,400
- [clears throat]
258
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:20,200
- HMM.
259
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,140
- OH, CORRINE,
SEE HOW GENTLE
260
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:23,210
AND SUBTLE SHE IS.
261
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,080
- [howls]
- OH.
262
00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:28,180
HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU, AGENT.
263
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,110
HE SMELLS YOUR FEAR,
YOUR WEAKNESS.
264
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,720
HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
265
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,250
HE COULD PUT ON A SUIT
266
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,850
AND DO YOUR JOB, AND NO ONE
WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
267
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:39,960
- [laughs]
268
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,390
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH, THAT'S ENOUGH.
269
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:45,230
I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
THIS MAGNIFICENT ERECTION
270
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,460
ON A SILLY SUCK AND FUCK.
271
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:51,100
I'LL BE BACK, AND THEN
WE WILL FINISH THE PERFORMANCE.
272
00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:54,970
KEEP THESE BOYS ENTERTAINED,
WILL YOU?
273
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,340
SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU GOT.
274
00:10:57,370 --> 00:11:01,180
I'LL BE BACK.
275
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:04,780
- WELL, WHO WANTS
TO GET BAKED?
276
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:06,850
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
277
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:10,450
- ALL RIGHT.
UP HIGH.
278
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:12,190
- HEY, I'LL TAKE ONE OF THOSE.
279
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:13,390
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
280
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,820
- [growls]
- WHAT?
281
00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:24,130
- * WELL, I GOT SOMETHING
TO SAY *
282
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,870
* WELL,
I RAPED YOUR MOTHER TODAY *
283
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,910
* AND IT DOESN'T MATTER
MUCH TO ME *
284
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:31,340
* AS LONG AS SHE SPREAD
285
00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:33,980
* SWEET, LOVELY DEATH
286
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:36,750
* I'M WAITING
FOR YOUR BREATH *
287
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,920
* OH, COME SWEET DEATH,
ONE LAST CARESS *
288
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,290
*
289
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,920
* GO
290
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:53,030
*
291
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,330
- MARCE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
292
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,200
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
293
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:57,930
- COME ON. NO.
YOU NEED TO FIND OUT.
294
00:11:57,970 --> 00:11:58,940
- DID YOU SEE
295
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:02,140
THOSE HIDEOUS
FUCKING CREATURES DOWNSTAIRS?
296
00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:04,110
I DON'T WANT ONE OF THOSE!
- MARCE, I SWEAR,
297
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,210
THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN
FOR A LONG TIME.
298
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,040
THEY'RE--AT FIRST,
THEY'RE SO CUTE.
299
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,350
I MEAN, THEY'RE SO...
300
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,280
- YEAH, SHITTING AND PISSING
ALL OVER THE PLACE
301
00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:12,950
AND MAKING
MY FUCKING NIPPLES BLEED--
302
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,820
THAT'S REALLY FUCKING CUTE.
303
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:15,850
NO, THANK YOU.
304
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:17,220
- MARCE.
- KILL ME NOW!
305
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,960
- LET'S JUST DO IT.
COME ON, LET'S DO THIS THING.
306
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:20,990
YOU NEED TO...
307
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:22,460
- FINE!
308
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:24,390
FINE.
[spits]
309
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:25,530
LET'S DO THIS.
310
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,460
ALL RIGHT!
311
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,470
LET'S GET
THIS GOLDEN SHOWER STARTED.
312
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,970
OPEN UP AND SAY PEE.
313
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,370
[urinating]
- [laughs]
314
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,110
- HMM.
- OH.
315
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,810
- HMM.
316
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:48,380
- THIS IS LIKE--
THIS IS LIKE THE VIRGIN SUICIDES
317
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:49,890
MEETS THE YULE LOG.
318
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,020
I CANNOT LOOK AWAY.
319
00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:53,090
- HEY, ARE YOU GUYS
REALLY SISTERS,
320
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,490
OR IS THIS KIND OF LIKE
A WHITE STRIPES DEAL?
321
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,360
OH, BETTER NOT.
322
00:12:58,390 --> 00:13:00,960
I CAN'T.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
323
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,570
[laughs]
T.S.T.B.
324
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:08,170
T.S.T.B.--
TOO STONED TO BALL.
325
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,370
- AW.
- [laughs]
326
00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:13,080
- OH, STU.
327
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,180
STU.
328
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,910
- NO, BACK OFF,
FUCK TOYS.
329
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:18,410
THIS PRODUCER
IS LOOKING FOR LOVE.
330
00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:21,380
- THIS GUY, UP HERE.
331
00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:23,150
- MOI?
- YES, PLEASE.
332
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:25,550
- WELL, MAYBE JUST
FOR A MINUTE.
333
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:29,190
- MM, YOU SMELL
LIKE CIGARETTES AND CHAMPAGNE
334
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:31,430
AND COOL RANCH DORITOS.
335
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,060
AND IT MAKES ME
STRANGELY HARD.
336
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,170
- NUMBER 17.
337
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,330
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
338
00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:40,970
- SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
- APPLES AND DORITOS--
339
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,640
STU, THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD TO ME.
340
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:44,310
YOU HUNGRY?
- A LITTLE BIT...
341
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:45,170
A LITTLE, LITTLE BIT.
342
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:50,250
- SHIT. FUCK.
THE RABBIT DONE DIED.
343
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,510
- I'M SORRY, BABY.
344
00:13:51,550 --> 00:13:54,450
- OKAY, QUICK.
345
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,390
PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH.
346
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,290
GO.
- YOU HAVE OPTIONS.
347
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,260
- OH, REALLY?
- UH-HUH.
348
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:03,390
OKAY, MY OPTIONS ARE I EITHER
HAVE A FUCKING ABORTION,
349
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:05,330
OR I HAVE A FUCKING BABY.
350
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,600
- THOSE ARE WHAT'S
COMMONLY KNOWN AS OPTIONS.
351
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:12,070
- OKAY, SO I COULD EITHER VACUUM
THIS NIGHTMARE OUT OF MY TWAT,
352
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,070
OR I COULD SETTLE IN
FOR THE BURDEN OF A LIFETIME.
353
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,310
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
354
00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:17,970
IS THERE SOMETHING
BEHIND DOOR NUMBER THREE?
355
00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:21,080
OH, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
TO ME, KARENINA?
356
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,510
WHY DOES HASHEM HATE ME?
357
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,450
FUCK.
- [giggles]
358
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,250
OKAY, SO WHO--WHOSE IS IT?
359
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,350
- I DON'T KNOW.
360
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:30,190
- IS IT CHARLIE'S?
- FUCK, NO.
361
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:31,960
THAT KID'S ALL SNIPPED
TO SHREDS.
362
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,390
IT CAN'T BE HIM.
363
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,960
- IT'S NOT RICK SPRINGFIELD.
364
00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:38,130
- UH-UH.
HE WAS ALL ABOUT THE ASS.
365
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,260
- NICE.
- YEAH.
366
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,360
PLUS, HE NEVER CAME.
367
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,600
- WHAT?
- NO, WE'D FUCK FOR HOURS.
368
00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:44,630
I'D COME NINE TIMES.
HE'D SHOOT A PUFF OF SMOKE.
369
00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:46,500
CAN'T BE THAT DUDE.
370
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,400
THERE WERE A COUPLE
371
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:51,510
OF CRAIGSLIST
"CASUAL ENCOUNTERS"
372
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,110
HERE AND THERE...
- OKAY.
373
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,950
- BUT I NEVER LET 'EM
RAW-DOG ME.
374
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,250
- OKAY.
375
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,410
- SO, SHIT.
376
00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,550
IT COULD BE
AN IMMACULATE CONCEPTION.
377
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:06,160
- WHAT? I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
TO GET KNOCKED UP BY GOD?
378
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:07,160
FUCK YOU.
379
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,390
SOME FRIEND YOU ARE!
380
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,690
- COME GET SOME REST.
LIE DOWN.
381
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,960
- I CAN'T REST,
BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING CHILD
382
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,700
IS PLAYING DEVIL MUSIC
IN MY LIVING ROOM.
383
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,200
- NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.
I'LL GO GET THEM TO STOP.
384
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:19,370
- NO, NO, NO,
GOOD--THEY'RE GOOD.
385
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,000
LET 'EM PLAY.
I LIKE IT.
386
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,640
IT'S FINE.
I'LL BE FINE.
387
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,010
[sighs]
388
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,280
DO YOU THINK I'D MAKE
A GOOD MOM?
389
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:30,510
- YES, I THINK YOU'D MAKE
A GREAT MOM.
390
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,380
- FUCKING-A, RIGHT.
391
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:38,150
THAT LITTLE MUTANT
WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME.
392
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,030
- ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE INTO THIS?
393
00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:46,400
- OH, YES.
TAKE ME, AGENT.
394
00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,730
- I ONLY ASK
BECAUSE I'M--I'M ENCOUNTERING
395
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,570
SORT OF A LACK
OF LUBRICATION HERE.
396
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,640
- OH, IT'S OKAY.
I CAN GRIN AND BEAR IT.
397
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,440
IT'LL FEEL
LIKE I'M A "WIRGIN."
398
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:57,110
- A "WIRGIN"?
- MM-HMM.
399
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,240
LIKE VIRGIN,
BUT WITH A "W."
400
00:15:58,270 --> 00:15:59,680
IT SOUNDS SUPER CREEPY
THAT WAY.
401
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:03,350
- YES.
YES, IT REALLY DOES.
402
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,380
WELL...
403
00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:07,450
OKAY, THEN.
404
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,490
HERE WE GO.
405
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,660
AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG?
406
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,590
I'M--I'M NOT AVERSE
TO A LITTLE GUIDANCE HERE.
407
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:20,760
- IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S HIM.
408
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,370
I CAN'T SCREW
WITH HIM WATCHING US.
409
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,040
HE'S GOT THAT GLEAM
IN HIS EYE.
410
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,540
- WELL, WE'RE ALL
JUST MAMMALS HERE.
411
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:31,670
- NO.
412
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:32,610
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
413
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,740
HE TRIED TO FINGER
MY FRIEND JESS ONE TIME.
414
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:36,480
HE IS HIGHLY SEXUAL.
415
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:38,250
JUST GET HIM
OUT OF HERE.
416
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,250
- JEEZ, WHAT IS HE THROWING
AT ME?
417
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,050
- HIS POO.
- HIS POO?
418
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:43,050
JESUS CHRIST.
419
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,690
THAT IS ONE ANTISOCIAL MONKEY.
420
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:49,290
GOD! EW!
421
00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:51,490
KONG, WOULD YOU GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE?
422
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:52,830
JEEZ.
423
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:54,830
EW!
424
00:16:54,860 --> 00:16:57,630
- AAH!
- [howling]
425
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:00,170
- KONG!
426
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,270
[screams]
OW! GET IT OFF!
427
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,110
GET IT OFF!
GET IT OFF!
428
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:08,510
[screaming]
429
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,510
[crunch]
AAH!
430
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:21,520
[muffled whimpers]
431
00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:26,700
- [screaming]
KONG IS DEAD!
432
00:17:26,730 --> 00:17:28,560
- LONG LIVE KONG.
- WHO IS KONG?
433
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,300
- THE MONKEY.
434
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:33,170
THAT BALD SCUMBAG MURDERED
OUR MONKEY.
435
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,540
- I COMMITTED NO SUCH ACT.
436
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,270
IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE.
437
00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:38,540
- YOU KILLED THE MONKEY?
- NO.
438
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,310
- I TRACKED DOWN
THE ONE MAN IN THIS CITY
439
00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:43,180
WHO'S GOT THE DOUGH TO PULL OFF
MY FUCKING PASSION PROJECT,
440
00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:45,150
AND YOU KILLED
HIS FUCKING MONKEY?
441
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:47,550
- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,
I SWEAR.
442
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,890
THAT MONKEY WAS A DEVIANT
AND A COCKBLOCKER.
443
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,690
HE WAS THROWING
HIS FECAL MATTER AT ME!
444
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,160
AND HE BIT MY FUCKING ARM!
445
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,420
- MURDERER!
446
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:56,760
- RUNKS...
447
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,330
[laughing]
KILLING AN INNOCENT MONKEY
448
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,160
IN THE NAME
OF GETTING SOME POON.
449
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,400
IS NOTHING SACRED?
450
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:03,270
- NO ONE HAS TO KNOW
ABOUT THIS.
451
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,300
I SAY WE ABSCOND
WITH THAT CORPSE.
452
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,400
WE TAKE IT
UP TO GRIFFITH PARK,
453
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,440
AND WE PUT THAT LITTLE
TURD-FONDLER SIX FEET UNDER.
454
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,770
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
HUH?
455
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:12,240
HUSH MONEY-WISE?
- HEY, HEY, SHUT UP.
456
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,280
TAKE A LOOK
AT THE EYE IN THE SKY.
457
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,310
HELLO.
YEAH.
458
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,850
LOOK, THEY'RE IN EVERY ROOM.
THAT MEANS WE'RE FUCKED.
459
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,220
OKAY?
- MM-HMM.
460
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,590
- SO LISTEN UP,
YOU GIANT BOTCHER.
461
00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:27,260
WE HAVE ONLY ONE PLAY HERE.
[laughter]
462
00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:29,890
AND THAT IS FOR YOU
TO COME CLEAN
463
00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:32,860
AND TELL ZIG
BEFORE HE FINDS OUT.
464
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,760
I WANT YOU TO MARCH
INTO THAT MAN'S BEDROOM...
465
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,430
[laughter]
466
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:41,600
AND TELL HIM
YOU KILLED HIS FUCKING MONKEY!
467
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,310
- I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
468
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:44,540
- I'LL TAKE YOU.
COME ON.
469
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,880
COME ON.
COME ON.
470
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:52,450
- [laughing] GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU FUCKING MORON.
471
00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:00,260
- HEY.
472
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,590
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
473
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,830
- SORRY.
SORRY.
474
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:04,830
I WAS--I WAS KNOCKING,
475
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:08,200
AND I WAS RINGING,
AND--AND NO ONE ANSWERED.
476
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,400
- SO WHAT,
YOU JUST LET YOURSELF IN?
477
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:13,900
- WELL, THE DOOR WAS OPEN,
AND, UH, MY GIRL WAS INSIDE.
478
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,840
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
479
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,670
- OH, OKAY,
OKAY, I GET IT.
480
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,440
UH, THE EXACT SAME THING.
481
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,710
- HMM.
482
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,410
- WHICH HELL SPAWN IS YOURS?
483
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:27,320
- PEARL--
THE ONE WITH THE PIPES.
484
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:28,880
- MM-HMM.
485
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,320
MINE'S BECCA,
THE ONE WITH THE BANGS.
486
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,660
- A-HA.
SHE'S PRETTY FIERCE, THAT ONE.
487
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,920
- MM-HMM.
- TASTY LICKS.
488
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,290
[camera beeps]
- AND YOU ARE?
489
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:41,300
- I'M SORRY.
I'M BEN.
490
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:42,930
- KAREN. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- KAREN.
491
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,470
NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.
492
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:50,470
WELL, UM,
HERE YOU GO, KAREN.
493
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:52,440
- [laughs]
- YOU KNOW, NOT MANY PEOPLE
494
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,410
CAN ACTUALLY SAY
THEY HAVE A PICTURE
495
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,740
OF THE EXACT MOMENT
THEY MET SOMEONE
496
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,580
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
SO THERE YOU GO--
497
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,280
MY GIFT TO YOU.
498
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:03,750
- I THINK
THIS IS GOING REALLY WELL.
499
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,750
- HELLO?
500
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,890
- ZIG.
- ZIG.
501
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,560
- YOU FREAKY BASTARD, ZIG.
502
00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:13,400
- ZIG, WE GOT
A-A-A LITTLE SITUATION OUT HERE.
503
00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:16,670
- KIND OF A MINOR
MONKEY INCIDENT HAPPENING.
504
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,470
[dance music echoing]
505
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:21,340
AH, ZIG OR NO ZIG,
I GOT TO TAKE A WAZ.
506
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,540
*
507
00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:27,710
- HELLO?
508
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:30,280
- * EAT MY PEACH, BABY,
BLOW ON MY DICE *
509
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,280
* YOU GOTTA--
510
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,780
ZI--HEY.
511
00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:39,790
CHARLIE!
512
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:42,730
CHARLIE, WE GOT A BIT
OF A PREDICAMENT IN HERE.
513
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,860
- WHAT?
514
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,630
[screaming]
515
00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:56,540
- HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY. HEY, WHAT
THE FUCK'S GOING ON IN HERE?
516
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:58,740
HEY, RUNKLE,
HOW DID ZIG TAKE THE NEWS?
517
00:20:58,770 --> 00:21:01,680
- NOT SO WELL, ACTUALLY.
518
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:02,750
- [screams]
OH, GOD!
519
00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:03,950
- [screams]
520
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:06,450
- COME ON!
SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!
521
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,320
RUNKLE, DID YOU DO THAT
TO HIM?
522
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,050
- NO, I DID NOT DO THAT
TO HIM.
523
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:12,090
WE CAME IN HERE,
AND THAT'S HOW HE WAS.
524
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,920
- I MEAN, I AM NOT AVERSE TO
THE OCCASIONAL CHOKE AND STROKE,
525
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:15,920
BUT THIS IS A PRIME EXAMPLE
526
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,430
OF WHY ONE MUST ALWAYS USE
THE BUDDY SYSTEM.
527
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:20,530
- THIS IS NOT GOOD.
THIS IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.
528
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,600
- ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
IT MAKES THE WHOLE MONKEY THING
529
00:21:22,630 --> 00:21:24,670
A BIT LESS OF A SNAFU,
DOESN'T IT?
530
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,700
- THAT'S A GOOD POINT.
- THAT IS TRUE.
531
00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,400
- ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S GONNA
BE HARD TO MAKE F&P: THE MOVIE
532
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,810
WITHOUT CREEPY WARBUCKS
OVER HERE.
533
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,380
- OH, IT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE.
534
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,340
ANYWAY, IT WAS A PLEASURE
535
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,010
ALMOST WORKING WITH YOU.
536
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:39,350
AND, YEAH.
537
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,920
- YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE.
WE GOT A SERIOUS SITUATION HERE.
538
00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:43,390
- THE FUCK I CAN'T.
539
00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:46,590
DEAD MONKEYS
AND AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION,
540
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:47,860
THAT'S MY CUE.
541
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,830
I WAS NEVER HERE.
542
00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:51,030
- WHAT?
543
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,600
- NOT EXACTLY A "GOING DOWN
WITH THE SHIP" TYPE, IS HE?
544
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:56,130
- WHAT THE FUCK, HANK?
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
545
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,900
- YOU HAVE TO STOP YELLING,
FIRSTLY.
546
00:21:57,930 --> 00:21:59,900
- OOH, KIND OF TOUCHING
THE DEAD GUY THERE.
547
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:01,100
DON'T DO THAT.
548
00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:02,610
- SHOULDN'T WE TAKE HIM DOWN
OR SOMETHING?
549
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,940
- NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THAT,
I ASSURE YOU.
550
00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:04,910
- JESUS.
551
00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:07,610
- HE REALLY LIKED THE SCRIPT,
THOUGH, HUH?
552
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,610
HE MUST HAVE.
I'M FLATTERED...KIND OF.
553
00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:13,120
- OH, HANK, I'M SCARED.
- YEAH.
554
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:14,680
- THIS IS REALLY DARK.
555
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,550
THIS IS WAY, WAY, WAY DARK.
556
00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:19,120
WE GOT TO MAKE THIS GO AWAY.
HOLD ME, PLEASE.
557
00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:21,060
- COOL YOUR JETS, RUNKS.
558
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:24,130
I GOT A GUY.
559
00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:32,700
- OH, SHIT, HANK. SHIT, HANK.
- BE COOL, RUNKS.
560
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:35,500
- SHIT, SHIT, SHIT.
- MAINTAIN.
561
00:22:39,980 --> 00:22:41,480
- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,
FELLAS?
562
00:22:41,510 --> 00:22:43,610
- JUST ROCKING OUT
WITH OUR COCKS OUT.
563
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:46,480
- OH, ONE OF THOSE PARTIES, HUH?
OKAY.
564
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,980
AND WHERE'S MR., UH, SAMITAUR?
565
00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:50,490
- HE'S INSIDE...
566
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,890
IN THE BATHROOM.
- JUST HANGING OUT.
567
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,890
- OKAY. YOU MIND
IF I HAVE A WORD WITH HIM?
568
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,930
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HIT
THE PANIC BUTTON, SO...
569
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,660
- HE'S A FUCKING MURDERER!
570
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,760
- ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.
571
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,470
WHOA!
572
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:07,000
- OH, YEAH.
WHAT, HUH?
573
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,640
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?
- NO, I DON'T WANT ANY OF IT.
574
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:09,770
- YOU WANT SOME OF THIS,
MIDNIGHT COWBOY?
575
00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:12,740
LET'S GO.
576
00:23:12,780 --> 00:23:15,710
- [screaming]
577
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:30,530
- WHAT THE FUCK, HANK?
578
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,500
- WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING.
579
00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:33,700
- TELL ME.
580
00:23:33,730 --> 00:23:36,570
- ONE DEAD BILLIONAIRE,
ONE DEAD MONKEY.
581
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,240
AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION--
THE BILLIONAIRE, NOT THE MONKEY.
582
00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:42,040
- WOW, REALLY?
- SHIT HAPPENS.
583
00:23:42,070 --> 00:23:43,610
- IS HE OKAY?
584
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,610
- OH, YEAH,
HE JUST GOT TASED.
585
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,610
- AND HIM?
- HIM I KNOCKED OUT.
586
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,210
DON'T BE TASING MY AGENT,
MOTHERFUCKER.
587
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,750
- OKAY, SELF-DEFENSE.
588
00:23:50,780 --> 00:23:52,750
- OH, I LIKE THAT.
WHAT'S THE MOVE?
589
00:23:52,780 --> 00:23:53,880
- DEPENDS.
590
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,720
DID YOU ACTUALLY
DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL?
591
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,990
IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?
592
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,190
- I DID WATCH TWO SISTERS
TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES
593
00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:06,090
AND MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER.
594
00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:09,230
AND THAT MADE MY WIENER
FEEL A LITTLE WEIRD.
595
00:24:09,260 --> 00:24:11,030
- MM, YEAH, THAT'S--
THAT'S GROSS.
596
00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:12,870
- BUT I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT THAT'S ILLEGAL.
597
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:13,870
- NO, IT'S NOT ILLEGAL.
- NOT ILLEGAL.
598
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,940
- OKAY, UH, WE CALL--
- MAYBE IT SHOULD BE.
599
00:24:15,970 --> 00:24:17,540
- WE CALL 911.
YOU GIVE A STATEMENT.
600
00:24:17,570 --> 00:24:18,640
I ASK FOR A FAVOR.
601
00:24:18,670 --> 00:24:20,580
WE MAKE SURE IT DOESN'T END UP
ALL OVER THE PRESS.
602
00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:21,840
- WOW, NO,
THAT'S GRACE UNDER PRESSURE.
603
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,080
I DIG THAT
IN A WOMAN.
604
00:24:23,110 --> 00:24:25,110
AND YOU LOOK
SMOKIN' HOT TONIGHT.
605
00:24:25,150 --> 00:24:26,850
YOU GOT A BIG DATE?
606
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,280
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S STRANGE.
607
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,750
A PART OF ME IS REALLY QUITE
PISSED OFF AT YOU RIGHT NOW,
608
00:24:30,790 --> 00:24:32,890
BECAUSE YOUR IDEA OF STAYING
OUT OF TROUBLE SUCKS BALLS,
609
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,620
BUT THE OTHER PART,
I DON'T KNOW,
610
00:24:35,660 --> 00:24:38,160
IT FEELS VAGUELY
PROUD OF YOU.
611
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:39,800
- PROUD?
- UH-HUH.
612
00:24:39,830 --> 00:24:42,160
- I DON'T THINK THERE'S MUCH
TO BE PROUD OF HERE TONIGHT.
613
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,070
A DEBAUCHED PARTY,
A COUPLE OF DEAD PRIMATES--
614
00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:45,730
NOT REALLY WORTHY
OF A GOLD STAR.
615
00:24:45,770 --> 00:24:48,900
- NO, YOU ABSOLUTELY
SCREWED THE POOCH, BUT, UH...
616
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,640
CALLING ME SHOWS AT LEAST
A MODICUM OF SENSE
617
00:24:51,670 --> 00:24:54,580
AND, UH,
MORE THAN A LITTLE TRUST.
618
00:24:54,610 --> 00:24:57,010
- SENSIBLE AND TRUSTING.
619
00:24:57,050 --> 00:25:00,180
THAT'S ME
IN A NUTSHELL, REALLY.
620
00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:02,550
- HOW HIGH ARE YOU
RIGHT NOW?
621
00:25:02,590 --> 00:25:04,890
- HMM?
- HOW HIGH ARE YOU?
622
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,660
- SIGNIFICANTLY.
- YEAH.
623
00:25:07,690 --> 00:25:10,660
ALL RIGHT.
LET ME DEAL WITH THIS.
624
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,760
- [groans]
625
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,800
- YOU OKAY, BUDDY BOY?
626
00:25:18,830 --> 00:25:20,870
- I FEEL LIKE ASS...
627
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,170
LIKE A GREAT, BIG SLAB OF ASS.
- YEAH.
628
00:25:23,210 --> 00:25:24,570
WELL, LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
629
00:25:24,610 --> 00:25:26,270
YOU INCHED CLOSER
TO YOUR MAGIC NUMBER.
630
00:25:26,310 --> 00:25:28,340
- IT WAS JUST THE TIP, HANK.
631
00:25:28,380 --> 00:25:30,150
IT DOESN'T COUNT.
- THE TIP COUNTS.
632
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:31,650
- YOU THINK?
633
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,320
- FUCKING-A.
THE TIP ALWAYS COUNTS.
634
00:25:33,350 --> 00:25:36,650
- THE TIP COUNTS?
- YEAH.
635
00:25:36,690 --> 00:25:38,320
HOLD YOUR SHIT TOGETHER,
CHUNKLE.
636
00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:40,690
TOMORROW'S ANOTHER DAY
IN THE DREAM FACTORY.
637
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,290
DON'T BLAME YOURSELF,
BUDDY BOY.
638
00:25:46,330 --> 00:25:48,300
- I GOT BLOOD
ON MY HANDS, HANK.
639
00:25:48,330 --> 00:25:50,230
SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT.
640
00:25:50,270 --> 00:25:52,100
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES,
641
00:25:52,130 --> 00:25:55,900
I SEE THAT SWEET
LITTLE MONKEY'S FACE.
642
00:25:55,940 --> 00:25:58,770
- MARCY?
643
00:25:58,810 --> 00:26:03,780
[laughing]
644
00:26:03,810 --> 00:26:04,850
- YOU WANT TO COME IN?
645
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,050
- WHAT, AND TUCK YOU IN,
READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY?
646
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,050
- NO.
647
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,590
YOUR LADY'S CHARIOT.
648
00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:17,630
- I DON'T THINK THEY WANT
TO SEE ME, CHARLIE.
649
00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:20,260
- WHEN HAS THAT
EVER STOPPED YOU?
650
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:23,330
COME ON,
DON'T BE A PUSSY.
651
00:26:23,370 --> 00:26:26,800
- * THIS HOUSE
652
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:31,040
* SHE'S HOLDING SECRETS
653
00:26:31,070 --> 00:26:34,680
* GOT MY CHANGE
654
00:26:34,710 --> 00:26:39,820
* BEHIND THE BED
655
00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:41,920
* IN A COFFEE CAN
656
00:26:41,950 --> 00:26:43,790
*
657
00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:46,790
* THROW MY NICKELS IN
658
00:26:46,820 --> 00:26:51,890
* JUST IN CASE
659
00:26:51,930 --> 00:26:56,100
* I HAVE TO LEAVE
660
00:26:56,130 --> 00:27:00,370
* AND I WILL GO
661
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,710
* IF YOU ASK ME TO
662
00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:08,980
* I WILL STAY
663
00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:12,950
* IF YOU DARE
664
00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:18,950
* IF I GO,
I'M GOING CRAZY *
665
00:27:18,990 --> 00:27:24,090
* LET MY DARLING
TAKE ME THERE *
666
00:27:24,130 --> 00:27:25,690
*
667
00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:31,700
* IF I GO,
I'M GOING CRAZY *
668
00:27:31,730 --> 00:27:36,340
* LET MY DARLING
TAKE ME THERE *
46363
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