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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,700 - [laughs] 2 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,600 - OW. 3 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:23,470 JESUS H. CHRIST. 4 00:00:23,510 --> 00:00:25,080 - HI, DADDY. 5 00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,680 - THIS IS BILL'S DAUGHTER, MIA, 6 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,080 AND THIS IS HANK. 7 00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:29,850 YOU--YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? 8 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,250 - NO. - I AM 16, YOU KNOW. 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,520 WHAT'S THIS? - HANK'S NEW BOOK. 10 00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:36,790 - ARE YOU REALLY 16? 11 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:39,390 - I'M REALLY 16. - THIS IS REALLY GOOD. 12 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:41,390 - IT'S NOT A MEMOIR. 13 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,260 - IT'S A WRITTEN ACCOUNT OF MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. 14 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,600 - WRITTEN BY ME AS A FUCKING NOVEL. 15 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,730 - I KNOW YOU'VE SET HIM UP, STOLE HIS BOOK. 16 00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:50,200 - AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH? 17 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:52,300 - I GOT TO ASK, SINCE YOU ALWAYS TEND TO WRITE 18 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,600 EXACTLY WHAT YOU KNOW, 19 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,140 WHAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL? 20 00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:58,680 YOU HAVE DONE SOME FUCKED-UP SHIT IN YOUR TIME, 21 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,580 BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO THAT. 22 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:05,150 - WE HAVE TO LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS, 23 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:07,720 NOT HIS POTENTIAL. 24 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,350 - GO. DRIVE THE CAR. 25 00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:10,350 - KAREN. 26 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:12,420 - YOU'RE SAYING THAT THE THREE OF US MOVE BACK 27 00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,460 TO NEW YORK TOGETHER? 28 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,190 - WELL, SOON, YEAH. 29 00:01:15,230 --> 00:01:16,830 OKAY? 30 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,560 LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN. 31 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,270 - WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THESE FAIR PARTS? 32 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,700 - I'M DOING A LITTLE SIGNING/READING IN VENICE. 33 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:25,140 I WANT YOU GUYS TO COME. 34 00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,600 - PAUL RIDER, MIA'S MANAGER. 35 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,270 - OH. HEY. - WOW. 36 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,840 - QUITE THE LITERARY SCANDAL WE HAVE HERE. 37 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,480 - WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM? 38 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,810 - BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM. 39 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,680 - THINK ABOUT KAREN AND THINK ABOUT BECCA. 40 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,320 - HANK, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 41 00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:41,590 - STOP! - YOU'RE FUCKED, MOODY. 42 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:42,820 - I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 43 00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,190 - OKAY. 44 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:47,460 [sirens wail] 45 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,830 [Alice in Chains' Check My Brain] 46 00:01:56,870 --> 00:02:01,170 * 47 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:05,740 - * SO I FOUND MYSELF IN THE SUN * 48 00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:08,410 * OH, YEAH 49 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:10,250 * 50 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,880 * A HELL OF A PLACE TO END A RUN * 51 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,360 * OH, YEAH 52 00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:21,690 * CALIFORNIA 53 00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:23,290 * I'M FINE 54 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:26,600 * SOMEBODY, CHECK MY BRAIN 55 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:31,800 * CALIFORNIA'S ALL RIGHT 56 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,770 * SOMEBODY, CHECK MY BRAIN 57 00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:38,210 * 58 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:40,810 - HOME, SKEEVES. 59 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,880 - HEY, ARE YOU HUNGRY? 60 00:02:41,910 --> 00:02:43,710 YOU MUST BE STARVED. 61 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,980 YOU KNOW WHAT? COME ON. COME ON. WE'LL GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 62 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:48,550 GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST, MY TREAT. 63 00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:49,420 - I GOT TO GET HOME. 64 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:52,320 I GOT TO FACE THE MUSIC AT SOME POINT. 65 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,390 WHAT? 66 00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,460 - WHAT? - WHAT'S THAT LOOK? 67 00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:57,860 - WHAT LOOK? 68 00:02:57,890 --> 00:03:00,430 - THAT SHIFTY, SOMEWHAT CUNTY LOOK OF YOURS. 69 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:02,730 - [sighs] 70 00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,570 I CAN'T TAKE YOU HOME, PALOMINO. 71 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,470 - WHY IS THAT, CHARLIE? 72 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,440 - I'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO. 73 00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:09,570 - BY KAREN? 74 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:11,340 - AND MARCY. 75 00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,880 SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD KICK MY PALE, POCKMARKED ASS 76 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,410 IF I BROUGHT YOU HOME RIGHT NOW. 77 00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:18,350 AND I BELIEVE THAT CRAZY, LITTLE BITCH TOO. 78 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,750 GET THIS. 79 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:22,290 WE'RE SPLITTING THE SHEETS. YEAH. 80 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,690 SHE SIGNED THE PAPERS. 81 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,590 IT TOTALLY BROKE MY HEART. 82 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,690 REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA WORK IT OUT. 83 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,990 GUESS NOT. - CHARLIE! 84 00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:33,300 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW? - CHARLIE! 85 00:03:33,330 --> 00:03:34,560 - YEAH? 86 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,970 - I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 87 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,570 - [clears throat] 88 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,970 YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. 89 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,870 YOU WIN. YOU GOT IT WAY WORSE RIGHT NOW. 90 00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:44,910 GET IN THE CAR. 91 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:47,340 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD SEE. 92 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,590 - [groans] 93 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,060 I DON'T GET IT, RUNKS. HOW'D IT GET OUT SO FAST? 94 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,960 - IT'S CALLED THE INTERWEB, HANK. 95 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,600 IT'S BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE NOW. 96 00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:08,570 REMEMBER HOW FAST MY MASTURBATION VIDEO SPREAD? 97 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,700 THAT WAS UNNERVING. 98 00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:11,600 - THAT WAS FUNNY, 'CAUSE IT WAS YOU. 99 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,740 - YEAH. - NOT ME. 100 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,070 - YEAH, SOME STORY, HUH? - [chuckles] 101 00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:17,840 - YEAH. TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I NEVER THOUGHT 102 00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,580 HE WAS MUCH OF A WRITER. - [laughs] 103 00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:22,050 - BUT NOW THE GUY'S MY FUCKING HERO. 104 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,310 I MEAN, HE HIT THAT SHIT, RIGHT? 105 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,050 WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR A TASTE OF THAT SWEET PEACH. 106 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,720 AH. 107 00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:32,520 ALL RIGHT, PEACE. - YEAH, OKAY. 108 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,020 THERE YOU GO... 109 00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,430 ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER. 110 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:37,890 - I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, RUNKLE, 111 00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,100 AND HOW YOU ANSWER WILL DETERMINE 112 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,830 WHETHER OR NOT I PUT THIS CIGARETTE OUT IN YOUR ASSHOLE. 113 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:43,800 WILL YOU TAKE ME THE FUCK HOME? 114 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,740 - HOME IT IS, MY GOOD MAN. 115 00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:11,800 - YOU'RE A USELESS FUCK, YOU KNOW THAT? 116 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:13,700 - THE MAN THREATENED PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, MARCY. 117 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,400 - SO DID I, YOU STUPID MUTT. 118 00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:16,670 - YOU CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE, YOU KNOW. 119 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,440 YOU ALREADY TORE MY FUCKING HEART OUT. 120 00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,870 - GO AWAY, HANK. I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU IN. 121 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,410 - I GET IT, MARCE. YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. 122 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,540 YOU'RE THE GATEKEEPER, BUT THIS IS MY HOME. 123 00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:26,940 IT'S MY FAMILY. - IS IT TRUE? 124 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,040 - THE MAN WAS FRAMED. 125 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,380 - YES, IT'S TRUE, BUT IT'S ALSO HUGELY COMPLICATED. 126 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:34,420 - I BELIEVE YOU. 127 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,990 I DO, BUT STILL, IT'S PRETTY FUCKING GRODY. 128 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:42,030 - MM. YOU'LL GET NO ARGUMENT FROM ME. 129 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,130 NOW, WHAT'S THE MOVE HERE? ARE YOU GONNA STEP ASIDE, 130 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,900 OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO PICK YOU UP AND MOVE YOU ASIDE 131 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:49,030 LIKE THE GORGEOUS LITTLE GARDEN GNOME THAT YOU ARE? 132 00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:50,730 - GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, HANK, 133 00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,140 BEFORE BECCA COMES HOME. 134 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:53,940 - I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HER. HOW IS SHE? 135 00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,870 - OH, SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S FANTASTIC. 136 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:57,510 I CAN'T KEEP HER OFF THE COMPUTER, THOUGH, 137 00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:59,080 'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT. 138 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,810 SHE THINKS YOU WERE SET UP. 139 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,710 DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HER? 140 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,050 DO YOU WANT TO HAVE TO LOOK HER IN THE EYE 141 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,180 AND TELL HER THAT YOU PUT YOUR DICK 142 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:09,120 IN A GIRL THAT'S THE SAME AGE THAT SHE IS RIGHT NOW? 143 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,890 'CAUSE IF YOU DO, STICK AROUND. 144 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,890 FUCK YOU. - WELL-- 145 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,890 - WELL, CALL ME MR. BRIGHTSIDE, 146 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:18,130 BUT I THINK WE'RE MAKING SOME SERIOUS PROGRESS HERE. 147 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,730 WHAT? SHE WANTED YOU TO HAVE A CHANGE OF CLOTHES. 148 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,700 THAT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF HER. 149 00:06:30,510 --> 00:06:32,080 - SO THE ARRAIGNMENT'S TOMORROW MORNING. 150 00:06:32,110 --> 00:06:33,940 IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN 151 00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:37,610 TO PLEA DOWN THE ASSAULT AND BATTERY. 152 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:39,620 YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? 153 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,890 - YES. DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE? 154 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,020 - SURE DO. - HMM? 155 00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:47,560 - MM-HMM. 156 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:48,930 - HANK. 157 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:52,000 HANK. HANK. 158 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:53,660 - IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW HERE? 159 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,000 - SUCH AS? - IS HE RETARDED? 160 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:57,770 - HEY. - HE'S ACTUALLY QUITE A GOOD GUY 161 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,240 ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM. 162 00:06:59,270 --> 00:07:01,470 HE'S--HE'S VERY PLEASANT, VERY AGREEABLE. 163 00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:02,640 - GOOD TO KNOW, 164 00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,940 BECAUSE ON PAPER HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT. 165 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:07,080 - HEY, NOW. - ABBY HERE IS THE BEST THERE IS 166 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:09,180 AT DEFENDING THE UNJUSTLY ACCUSED. 167 00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:12,480 HEY, HEY, REMEMBER THAT POOR GUY WHO KEPT SHOWING HIS PENIS 168 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:13,350 TO THE LAKER GIRLS? 169 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:16,020 SHE TOTALLY GOT HIM OFF. - IMPRESSIVE. 170 00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:20,660 - SO WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO DO, ABBY, YOU KNOW, BEFORE? 171 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,860 - OKAY, I'LL PLAY. 172 00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:23,860 BEFORE WHAT? 173 00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:26,900 - BEFORE YOU SOLD OUT AND WENT TO LAW SCHOOL. 174 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,800 UP TOP. - CUTE. 175 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,200 - CAN'T HELP IT. THE GUY'S CUTE. 176 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:31,670 - HE'S ALSO A THREE-TIME LOSER. 177 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,040 - WELL, NOW YOU'RE JUST NAME-CALLING. 178 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,270 - IT SAYS HERE YOU WERE ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING A, UH, FILMMAKER 179 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:37,610 NAMED TODD CARR. 180 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,180 - SHITTY FILMMAKER NAMED TODD CARR. 181 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,750 DOES IT SAY "SHITTY" THERE? 'CAUSE IT SHOULD. 182 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:43,250 - THE CHARGES WERE DROPPED AT MR. CARR'S REQUEST. 183 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,880 SHORTLY THEREAFTER, AN ALTERCATION 184 00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,720 WITH AN L.A.P.D. OFFICER. 185 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:49,820 MM. GOT OFF LIGHT--PROBATION. 186 00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:52,290 HOW'D YOU MANAGE THAT ONE? 187 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,060 REALLY? 188 00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,160 - HE'D JUST HAD A VASECTOMY. - POINT BEING? 189 00:07:56,190 --> 00:07:59,700 - COP NIGHTSTICKED HIM IN THE BALLS-- 190 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,160 BIG MISUNDERSTANDING. - OH, YEAH. 191 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,100 TELL THAT TO MY BALLS. 192 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,800 I STILL GOT A TOUCH OF THE EPIDIDYMITIS. 193 00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,840 WHENEVER IT FLARES UP, I GOT TO SOAK MY POUCH 194 00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,640 IN FOUR INCHES OF TEPID BATHWATER. 195 00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:11,310 TALK ABOUT A PARTY. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 196 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:14,180 THIS IS A BIG FUCKING WASTE OF MY TIME. 197 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,650 GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MR. MOODY. 198 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,880 - APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT. 199 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,050 - OKAY, LOOK, I'M SORRY 200 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,880 THAT I TALKED ABOUT MY BALLS, 201 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,150 MY BIG, BEAUTIFUL BALLS. 202 00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:24,750 IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. 203 00:08:24,790 --> 00:08:26,060 NO, I GET IT. I GET IT. 204 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,590 I GET HOW SERIOUS THIS ALL IS, YOU KNOW, 205 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:28,860 AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME. 206 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,260 - REALLY? - YES. 207 00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,800 IT'S JUST THAT I TRUST YOU TO DO WHATEVER VOODOO IT IS 208 00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:35,160 THAT YOU DO DO FOR ME. 209 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,800 SO I'M GONNA-- I PUT MYSELF IN YOUR HANDS. 210 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,140 I'M PUTTY FOR YOU. 211 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,840 I'LL TUMBLE FOR YOU. I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 212 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,350 - START WITH A SHOWER. 213 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,880 YOU SMELL LIKE YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF A FISTING CONTEST. 214 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,880 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING. 215 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,850 DON'T BE LATE. 216 00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:00,260 - SHE'S GOOD. 217 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,930 SHE TOTALLY NAILED IT. 218 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,800 - THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS. 219 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,940 - DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU WANT TO PLEASURE YOURSELF, RUNKS, 220 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,810 JUST A LITTLE BIT? - I WON'T LIE. 221 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,040 THERE IS SLIGHT TUMESCENCE. 222 00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,010 - [groans] WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 223 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,050 - ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN GOOD TIME, MY FRIEND. 224 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,610 MEANWHILE, I GOTS TO DRAIN THE HOG. 225 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:25,750 - OH, COME ON. 226 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:28,180 WE ALL KNOW THAT THING IS THIN, BENT, AND UNCIRCUMCISED. 227 00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,690 DON'T BULLSHIT ME. - JESUS CHRIST. 228 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:30,990 HOW MANY TIMES I GOT TO TELL YOU? 229 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,060 I AM NOT UNCIRCUMCISED. 230 00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,790 THE MOHEL JUST LEFT A LITTLE TOO MUCH FORESKIN. 231 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:36,790 THAT'S ALL-- A SMIDGE, JUST A SMIDGE. 232 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:40,130 - [laughs] SO IT'S LIKE A CIRC-DU-HALFWAY? 233 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,670 - [laughs] 234 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,700 - [grunts] 235 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,180 - HEY. [whistles] 236 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:05,350 - THERE. YOU HAPPY? 237 00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:08,220 - VERY MUCH SO. THANKS. 238 00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:15,700 I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU. 239 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:18,230 - OH. ALL RIGHT. 240 00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,000 YOU'RE NOT REALLY MY TYPE, ANYWAY. 241 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,770 - REALLY? - YEAH, I LIKE 'EM OLDER... 242 00:10:21,810 --> 00:10:23,110 AND HANDICAPPED. - OH. 243 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,170 - EXCUSE ME. HANDI-CAPABLE. - [laughs] 244 00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:27,310 - WELL, NOW I'M DEFINITELY, FOR SURE, 245 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,810 NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU. 246 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,320 - HANK. - MIA. 247 00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,880 - OKAY. YOU WIN, LADY. 248 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,220 YOU'RE OFFICIALLY CREEPING ME OUT. 249 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:37,790 WHAT--WHAT--WHAT... 250 00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,960 - SORRY. PROFESSIONAL HAZARD. 251 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,960 - WHAT DO YOU DO? - HELLO, HELLO. 252 00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,290 I SEE YOU TWO HAVE ALREADY MET. 253 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:45,290 - NO, SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF TO ME AS MIA 254 00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:46,300 AND TOTALLY BUMMED ME OUT. 255 00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:47,230 - CHARLIE RUNKLE. 256 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,470 I AM SO PLEASED TO MEET YOU-- HUGE FAN. 257 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,170 - MY GUY FRIDAY-- SMOOTH, REAL SMOOTH. 258 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,270 - HANK MOODY, SASHA BINGHAM. 259 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,940 - SASHA BINGHAM. ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT YOU DO, SASHA? 260 00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:59,080 - OOH. - AH! HE'S A KIDDER, THIS ONE. 261 00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:01,110 HE'S A KIDDER. HE'S KIDDING. 262 00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:04,180 GUYS. LADIES. 263 00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:05,850 SHE'S A FUCKING MOVIE STAR, YOU NUDNIK. 264 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:06,920 - HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? 265 00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:08,280 - WELL, LOOK, OPEN YOUR EYES. 266 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,150 - I'VE BEEN IN JAIL, CHARLIE. - LOOK. LOOK. 267 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:11,920 YOU'VE BEEN IN JAIL 72 HOURS, HANK. 268 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,860 - A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN A WEEKEND. 269 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,430 - COME WITH ME. COME WITH ME. 270 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,400 - WHEN I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH, I SAW FAST TIMES... 271 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:25,200 - FAST TIMES-- GREAT FUCKING MOVIE. 272 00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:27,270 - JESUS CHRIST, RUNKLE. SETTLE DOWN. 273 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,870 - I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 274 00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,170 CONTINUE, PLEASE. 275 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:32,940 - THANK YOU, ROGER EBERT. 276 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:35,140 SO ANYWAY, PHOEBE CATES TOOK OFF HER TOP, 277 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:37,250 AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE, 278 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,920 WHICH IS WHY I WANT TO TAKE FUCKING & PUNCHING 279 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:44,120 AND GIVE MY INNER 12-YEAR-OLD THE MOVIE HE FUCKING DESERVES. 280 00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,920 I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU. 281 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,890 I'M A BIG FAN OF GRATUITOUS NUDITY. 282 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,290 - FORGET IT. SASHA BINGHAM IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART-- 283 00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,800 THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. 284 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,360 SHE'S NOT DOING ANY GRATUITOUS NUDITY. 285 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,470 - NUDITY? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE NUDITY. 286 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,870 I HAVE GREAT TITS. 287 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,100 - GREAT TITS. 288 00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:01,000 - AND IF I'M EVER GONNA SHOW THEM ON SCREEN, 289 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,010 NOW'S THE TIME. 290 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,810 - NOW IS THE TIME. 291 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,340 - YOU KNOW, A LOT OF ACTRESSES SAY THAT, 292 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:09,010 AND THEN YOU GET TO THE... - OH, YEAH. 293 00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,810 - HOLY SHIT. - WHOO. 294 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:11,950 - OH, SWEET LORD. - THERE. 295 00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,350 YOU HAPPY? 296 00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,950 - I'M HAVING HEART PALPITATIONS. 297 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,150 - YOU KNOW WHAT, RUNKS? I'M GLAD I CAME. 298 00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,520 - I'M GLAD YOU CAME TOO. - YEAH. 299 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,160 - WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS THE SCRIPT, 300 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:21,860 BECAUSE RIGHT NOW IT'S A FUCKING MESS. 301 00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:23,960 - AGREED. IT NEEDS SOME WORK. 302 00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:25,090 - A LOT OF WORK. 303 00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:27,230 I MEAN, THE ONLY REASON WHY I'M EVEN CONSIDERING THIS 304 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,070 IS BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THE BOOK. 305 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,070 - CHEERS. 306 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,240 NOT ONLY DOES THE LADY HAVE BODACIOUS TATAS, 307 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:35,070 SHE ALSO HAS SPLENDIFEROUS TASTE IN LITERATURE. 308 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:36,540 - THAT SHE DOES. 309 00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:39,140 AND CONSIDERING THAT YOU ACTUALLY WROTE THE BOOK 310 00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:41,850 THAT I LOVE, HOW ABOUT YOU REWRITE THE SCRIPT 311 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,810 THAT I LOATHE? - OH! NO, NO, NO. 312 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,350 MY ADVENTURES IN THE SCREEN TRADE HAVE BEEN 313 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,080 ABOUT AS MUCH FUN AS FORCED ANAL, 314 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,490 NOT THAT FORCED ANAL CAN'T BE FUN. 315 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,860 - YOU'RE A FANTASTIC WRITER, HANK. 316 00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:54,520 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 317 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,430 I AM NOT IMMUNE TO KIND WORDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE SO TRUE. 318 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,000 PLEASE CONTINUE. 319 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:01,030 - UH, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, 320 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:04,000 HANK, I WANTED YOU TO ADAPT THE BOOK 321 00:13:04,030 --> 00:13:05,940 BACK WHEN I FIRST OPTIONED IT, 322 00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:08,470 AND I WAS DISAPPOINTED WHEN YOU PASSED. 323 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,840 - I PASSED? I DID? - YEAH. 324 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,910 - I--NO, I DON'T REMEMBER GETTING THAT OFFER. 325 00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:14,380 - I PASSED ON YOUR BEHALF. 326 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:16,080 I THOUGHT IT'D BE TOO WEIRD FOR YOU. 327 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:19,620 - AND YOU WONDER WHY MY CAREER IS IN SUCH DISREPAIR. 328 00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:21,520 - I NEVER WONDER ABOUT THAT. 329 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,250 - CALL ME A SCUMBAG, BUT THERE IS 330 00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:27,120 A REAL MOMENT RIGHT HERE. 331 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,230 WITH SASHA'S INTEREST 332 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:31,490 AND WITH HANK'S FACE ALL OVER THE NEWS RIGHT NOW, 333 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:34,260 WE COULD BE AT SUNDANCE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. 334 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,530 - [grunts disapprovingly] 335 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,400 - HANK, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 336 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,870 - WELL, YOU--THEN HANDLE IT, MOTHERFUCKER. 337 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,300 - IN PROCESS. I'M IN PROCESS. 338 00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:44,010 - OKAY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I-I APOLOGIZE. 339 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,270 I'VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH. 340 00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:46,440 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL, 341 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,410 AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT, EATEN, 342 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,110 OR-- PARDON ME, MILADY-- 343 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,650 TAKEN A DECENT CRAP IN DAYS. 344 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,450 - [laughs] - UH... 345 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,420 EXCEPT THIS COFFEE DOES-- DOES SEEM TO BE WORKING. 346 00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:01,620 YES, INDEED, IT IS TIME TO RELEASE THE KRAKEN. 347 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:03,960 ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, 348 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,090 ESPECIALLY YOU, SASHA BINGHAM. 349 00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:06,230 YOU SAY YOU HAVE GREAT TITS, 350 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:07,960 AND I MOST CERTAINLY CONCUR, 351 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,270 BUT THAT ASS OF YOURS IS NO SLOUCH EITHER. 352 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,140 - I WANT THIS MOVIE. 353 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,410 - OH, WE WANT YOU TO WANT THIS MOVIE. 354 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,410 [chuckles] 355 00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:26,980 - WHAT WAS THE QUESTION? I'M SORRY. 356 00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:28,420 I'M INCREDIBLY HIGH RIGHT NOW. 357 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,420 - LOOK, I HAVE A WINDOW, 358 00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,220 AND I WANT THIS TO BE MY NEXT THING, 359 00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,090 BUT THE SCRIPT HAS TO BE RIGHT, AND THE MAN 360 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,960 DROPPING THE DEUCE IS YOUR BEST SHOT AT GETTING IT THERE. 361 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,960 SO IF NOT, 362 00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:40,230 THERE'S ALWAYS CAA. 363 00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:41,970 I'M IN TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS. 364 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,000 YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. 365 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:55,240 - WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY... 366 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,980 THE MASTER APPEARS. 367 00:14:58,010 --> 00:14:59,680 - IS THAT A QUOTE? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 368 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:03,990 - WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT I HAVE SOMETHING 369 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,320 THAT YOU WANT. 370 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,390 I'M SORRY-- SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED. 371 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,490 - OKAY, I'LL PLAY THIS GAME. 372 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,030 WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, RUNKLE? 373 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,160 HOW CAN WE HELP YOU HELP YOUR CLIENT? 374 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,370 - AH! SEE, THAT'S WHAT I LOVE. 375 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,570 THAT'S WHAT I MISS-- BEING PART OF A TEAM, 376 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:23,410 HELPING WILDLY TALENTED PEOPLE ACHIEVE THEIR WILDEST DREAMS... 377 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,240 HAVING AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT, 378 00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:27,040 A CAR ALLOWANCE, 379 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,540 A YOUNG, NUBILE ASSISTANT 380 00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:30,710 TO FETCH ME MY CARAMEL MACCHIATO. 381 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,650 - DONE. 382 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,320 YOU CONVINCE YOUR CLIENT TO TAKE THIS JOB, 383 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,420 MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T SHIT THE BED, 384 00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:38,220 AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OLD JOB BACK. 385 00:15:38,250 --> 00:15:39,690 HAPPY? 386 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,460 OH, JUST ONE LITTLE THING-- 387 00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:44,460 TRY AND KEEP YOUR FUCKING DICK IN YOUR PANTS THIS TIME, 388 00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,230 OR I WILL RIP IT OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS. 389 00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:47,400 I PROMISE. 390 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,600 [The Rolling Stones' Can't You Hear Me Knocking] 391 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:55,540 * 392 00:15:55,570 --> 00:16:00,440 - * YEAH, YOU GOT SATIN SHOES * 393 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,150 - THIS ONE'S ON ME. 394 00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,580 - OH, THANK YOU. 395 00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:04,650 - MM-HMM. - MM. 396 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,480 DRINKS ON THE HOUSE. - THANK YOU. 397 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,580 - MM-HMM. 398 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:11,620 - * Y'ALL GOT COCAINE EYES 399 00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:15,120 - OH. 400 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,060 - HOW DO YOU DO IT? 401 00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:21,300 - UH, IT'S AN OLD JEDI MIND TRICK. 402 00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,270 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE, 403 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,170 BUT HOW MANY? 404 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,700 - HOW MANY? HOW MANY? 405 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,610 - HOW MANY BROADS HAVE YOU BALLED? 406 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,310 - "BROADS"? "BALLED"? WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 407 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,310 - OKAY, FINE. 408 00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:36,450 HOW MANY WOMEN TO WHOM HAVE YOU MADE THE LOVE? 409 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,110 - YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT KIND OF SHIT. 410 00:16:38,150 --> 00:16:39,820 YOU DON'T WANT THAT INFORMATION RATTLING AROUND YOUR HEAD, 411 00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:42,620 MAKING YOU FEEL ALL EFFEMINATE AND EMASCULATED AND SHIT. 412 00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:44,250 - SURE I DO. - TRUST ME. 413 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:46,790 SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT TO YOUR LIMITED IMAGINATION. 414 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:48,320 - YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH? 415 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,490 - MM-MM. 416 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,730 NO. NO, NO, NO. 417 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,360 ALL THIS TALK ABOUT SLEEPING WITH WOMEN IS MAKING ME SLEEPY. 418 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,570 - ONE. 419 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,670 11. 420 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,170 - 11. - 11. 421 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,140 WELL, THAT'S DOUBLE DIGITS, SOUNDS GOOD-- 422 00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:03,670 PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE NUMBER FOR A COCKSMAN OF YOUR CALIBER. 423 00:17:03,710 --> 00:17:05,370 AND IT REMINDS ME OF SPINAL TAP. 424 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:06,410 CHEERS. 425 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,450 - I GOT TO GET IT UP TO 100. 426 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,350 TRIPLE DIGITS, THEN I CAN DIE HAPPY. 427 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,550 - WELL, YOU MAY HAVE TO CRYOGENICALLY FREEZE YOUR COCK 428 00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:19,520 AND ATTACH IT TO BRAD PITT TO GET THERE, BUDDY BOY. 429 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,320 - YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT? 430 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,230 - [chuckling] NO, I DON'T. 431 00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:25,160 AND I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS. 432 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,760 11 WOMEN-- WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 433 00:17:29,530 --> 00:17:31,600 - MARCY. - YOU SEE THAT? 434 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,440 YOU HAD THE MAGIC PUSS, AND YOU LOST IT. 435 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,300 DO YOU THINK THAT BALLING 89 MORE BROADS 436 00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:36,870 IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT THAT? 437 00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:39,240 - IT WOULD CERTAINLY BE A START. 438 00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:46,180 - DO YOU THINK, UH... 439 00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,850 DO YOU THINK THAT LADY LAWYER WAS-- 440 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,820 DO YOU THINK SHE WAS RIGHT? - ABOUT WHAT? 441 00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:52,460 - SHE CALLED ME A PIECE OF SHIT. 442 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:53,720 - ON PAPER-- 443 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,360 SHE SAID YOU WERE A PIECE OF SHIT ON PAPER. 444 00:17:55,390 --> 00:17:56,490 - STILL. 445 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,860 - YOU'RE NOT A PIECE OF SHIT, HANK, 446 00:17:57,890 --> 00:18:00,430 PAPER OR OTHERWISE. 447 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:01,760 YOU MAY BE MY WORST CLIENT, 448 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,400 BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND. 449 00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:08,570 AND ME LOVE YOU VERY LONG TIME. 450 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,740 - I REFUSE TO BE NUMBER 12, CHARLIE. 451 00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:14,210 - OH, I WASN'T COUNTING THE GUYS. 452 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,640 [laughs] 453 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,350 - HEY, CAN I CRASH WITH YOU GUYS TONIGHT? 454 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:18,780 YOU THINK MARCY'LL MIND IF I TAKE THE MASTER? 455 00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:21,320 - CAN'T DO IT, HANK. - OKAY, I'LL FLIP HER FOR IT. 456 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,190 [cell phone chimes] 457 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,350 NO. WHAT? 458 00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:27,590 THE CUNTY LOOK--STOP. 459 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,820 PUT YOUR FACE BACK. 460 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:31,290 - YOU GOT ANOTHER MEETING. 461 00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:32,760 - [groans] 462 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,360 - WE BE MEETING AND A-GREETING. 463 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,600 [elevator bell dings] 464 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,270 - FUCK YOU, CHARLIE. I'M NOT DOING THIS. 465 00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:47,310 - I TOLD HER YOU WOULD. - WELL, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. 466 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,710 I JUST WANT TO GO THE FUCK HOME. - YOU DON'T GOT ONE. 467 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,250 YOU'RE HOMELESS. GET USED TO IT. 468 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,480 - THEN I WANT TO GO TO YOUR PLACE. 469 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,720 - MY PLACE? MY PLACE IS IN FUCKING ESCROW. 470 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,490 I'M LIVING ON BORROWED TIME 471 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,690 IN A HOUSE THAT NO LONGER BELONGS TO ME 472 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,860 WITH A WOMAN WHO NO LONGER WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. 473 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,960 YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY EXILE ON MAIN STREET, HANK. 474 00:19:01,990 --> 00:19:03,330 - WHATEVER. I'D SETTLE 475 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,830 FOR A DECENT NIGHT'S SLEEP AT THIS POINT. 476 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,400 - WELL, MAYBE YOUR NEWEST, BESTEST FRIEND 477 00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,460 WILL LET YOU CRASH. - OH, BULLSHIT. 478 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,700 I HAVE, LIKE, ZERO INTEREST IN CHASING TAIL RIGHT NOW. 479 00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:13,200 - THAT'S FINE-- TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. 480 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,670 BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE INTEREST IN CHASING THIS JOB. 481 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,710 YOU ALWAYS TALK A BIG GAME 482 00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,880 ABOUT DOING THE GOOD WORK AND FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT. 483 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,540 WELL, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. 484 00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:23,750 STOP FEELING SO FUCKING SORRY FOR YOURSELF 485 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,410 AND GET IN THERE AND CARPE 486 00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:26,520 THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT. - ALL RIGHT. 487 00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:28,380 WE'RE SURE THIS IS JUST ABOUT REWRITING MY HISTORY, 488 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:29,820 NOT YOURS. 489 00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:31,850 - SO WHAT IF IT IS, HUH? 490 00:19:31,890 --> 00:19:33,660 YOU THINK I WOULDN'T JUMP AT THE CHANCE 491 00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:34,960 TO GET BACK SOME VERSION OF WHAT I LOST? 492 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,660 YOU DON'T THINK I DESERVE THAT? 493 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,970 - FINE. 494 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,700 I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. 495 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,570 - I KNEW YOU WOULD. - ASSHOLE. 496 00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:51,970 - ATTA BOY, DOUCHE BAG. 497 00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,980 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 498 00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:03,320 - HI. 499 00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:07,260 COME ON IN. 500 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,990 [elevator bell dings] 501 00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:17,870 - WOW, WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD SOME NOTES, 502 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,740 YOU REALLY HAD SOME FUCKING NOTES. 503 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,840 - DO THEY MAKE SENSE? 504 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,740 - UH, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY, 505 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:26,310 WHEN I GET AROUND TO READING THE SCRIPT. 506 00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:28,740 I THINK WE'RE PRETTY MUCH ON THE SAME PAGE... 507 00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,310 OR PAGES. 508 00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:34,350 - [laughs] - PAGES AND PAGES AND PAGES. 509 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,580 - YOU LOOK TIRED. 510 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:39,290 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG LIFE. 511 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,620 - GO HOME. 512 00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:44,460 - I WOULD THAT I COULD. I AIN'T GOT NONE. 513 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:47,360 I'M HOMELESS. 514 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,800 - YOU'RE PRETTY HANDSOME FOR A HOMELESS FELLOW. 515 00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:52,340 - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 516 00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:54,740 BUT I DO HAVE GREAT TITS. - [laughs] 517 00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,470 WELL, YOU CAN CRASH HERE IF YOU WANT. 518 00:20:56,510 --> 00:20:58,010 AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM-- 519 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,540 TOO MUCH, ACTUALLY. 520 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:03,080 - THAT IS, UH-- THAT'S PRETTY TEMPTING. 521 00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:05,350 - AS IT SHOULD BE. 522 00:21:05,380 --> 00:21:06,450 - YEAH. 523 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:11,390 YOU DO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL... BED. 524 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:13,360 - OH. 525 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,790 DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN. 526 00:21:18,830 --> 00:21:21,000 COME ON. 527 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:24,930 - I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE. [grunts] 528 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:26,900 - COME ON. 529 00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:29,670 SO ONE MORE QUESTION ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. 530 00:21:29,710 --> 00:21:31,070 - SHOOT. 531 00:21:31,110 --> 00:21:33,610 - WHAT DOES MIA WANT? 532 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,010 - MIA WANTS WHAT ALL GIRLS WANT-- 533 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:40,050 A GUY JUST GAY ENOUGH TO CURL UP AND WATCH PROJECT RUNWAY WITH. 534 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,520 - [laughs] 535 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,450 YEAH, AND WHAT DOES HANK WANT? 536 00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:44,950 - HANK... 537 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:47,690 OH. WANTS TO CLOSE HIS EYES 538 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,760 AND WAKE UP IN HIS OWN BED 539 00:21:49,790 --> 00:21:51,530 NEXT TO THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, 540 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,900 LISTENING TO THE SWEET, MELLIFLUOUS SOUNDS 541 00:21:54,930 --> 00:21:57,500 OF HIS DAUGHTER'S HEAVY-METAL GUITAR 542 00:21:57,530 --> 00:22:00,070 COMING FROM THE BEDROOM NEXT. 543 00:22:02,670 --> 00:22:04,940 - YOU REALLY LOVE THEM, DON'T YOU? 544 00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:07,610 - SO MUCH SO THAT THE WORDS THEMSELVES 545 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,610 SOUND UNSPEAKABLY LAME. 546 00:22:09,650 --> 00:22:12,580 - GOD, THAT'S HOT. 547 00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:19,120 - * AND I LAID TRAPS FOR TROUBADOURS * 548 00:22:19,150 --> 00:22:21,760 * WHO GET KILLED BEFORE THEY REACH BOMBAY * 549 00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:27,030 - LIAR. 550 00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:29,930 - OOH, ANOTHER HAZARD OF THE PROFESSION. 551 00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:32,800 BESIDES, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 552 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,870 - NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 553 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,440 - IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE... 554 00:22:36,470 --> 00:22:37,470 - STOP. STOP. 555 00:22:37,510 --> 00:22:39,440 AGAIN WITH THE UNSPEAKABLY LAME. 556 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,780 - I KNOW. 557 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:45,750 THAT'S WHY I NEED A WRITER. 558 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:53,960 * 559 00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:15,140 - * PLEASED TO MEET YOU 560 00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:17,780 * HOPE YOU GUESSED MY NAME 561 00:23:17,810 --> 00:23:19,050 - WHAT WAS IT LIKE? 562 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,620 - WHAT WAS WHAT LIKE? 563 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:22,520 - THE PUNCH. 564 00:23:22,550 --> 00:23:25,150 - [sighs] - [laughs] 565 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:29,790 - WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 566 00:23:29,830 --> 00:23:31,790 GO ON. GIVE IT A SHOT. 567 00:23:31,830 --> 00:23:32,900 - REALLY? 568 00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:35,530 - YEAH. COME ON. 569 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,800 - [laughs] 570 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,470 - YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL. JESUS CHRIST. 571 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,510 IT WAS A PUNCH, DARLING, NOT A SLAP. 572 00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:48,780 - ALL RIGHT. 573 00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:52,150 - * HAVE SOME SYMPATHY 574 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:53,220 - OH. 575 00:23:53,250 --> 00:23:54,820 HARDER. 576 00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,890 - HARDER? - HARDER. 577 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,190 - ALL RIGHT. 578 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,190 - MM. 579 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:05,190 [chuckling] 580 00:24:05,230 --> 00:24:08,560 HARDER. - [grunts] 581 00:26:11,850 --> 00:26:14,220 - [gasps] [knocking at door] 582 00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:19,960 [knocking continues] 583 00:26:28,970 --> 00:26:31,940 [knocking continues] 584 00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:41,080 - JESUS. 585 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,350 HOLSTER THAT THING, WOULD YOU? 586 00:26:43,390 --> 00:26:45,390 [scoffs] 587 00:26:45,420 --> 00:26:46,920 [door closes] 588 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,060 NICE COCK, BY THE WAY. IT'S VERY MANLY. 589 00:26:50,090 --> 00:26:52,700 - THIS OLD THING? 590 00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:54,160 WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, RUNKS? 591 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,930 - NUMBER 12-- 592 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,100 THE WAITRESS LAST NIGHT AT THE BAR, 593 00:26:58,130 --> 00:27:00,770 TOTALLY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. - TOTALLY. 594 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,970 RIGHT ON! THE RUNK, NUMBER 12. 595 00:27:04,010 --> 00:27:06,370 - THANK YOU. WE GOT NO TIME TO CELEBRATE, THOUGH. 596 00:27:06,410 --> 00:27:08,380 YOU'RE LATE FOR YOUR ARRAIGNMENT. 597 00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:11,210 - FUCK ME RUNNING. 598 00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:16,080 THANK YOU, SKEEVES. - GO GET 'EM. 599 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,920 - HEY, LADY LAWYER. LOOK WHO'S HERE. 600 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,330 - JESUS. 601 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,830 - WHAT? - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? 602 00:27:26,860 --> 00:27:28,460 - OH, THAT'S KIND OF A LIFE IMITATING ART 603 00:27:28,500 --> 00:27:29,600 IMITATING LIFE KIND OF A DEAL. - FORGET IT. 604 00:27:29,630 --> 00:27:31,230 I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. - GOOD CALL. BEST NOT TO KNOW. 605 00:27:31,270 --> 00:27:32,770 SHOULD WE DO THIS? - NO NEED. 606 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,270 THEY'RE DROPPING THE ASSAULT CHARGES. 607 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:36,710 - THANK YOU. 608 00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,370 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 609 00:27:38,410 --> 00:27:40,240 - THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. 610 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,280 - YEAH? 611 00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:44,210 - HANK MOODY? - GUILTY. 612 00:27:44,250 --> 00:27:45,880 - DON'T SAY THAT. 613 00:27:45,910 --> 00:27:47,180 - WE HAVE A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST. 614 00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:49,080 - JESUS FUCK. WHAT NOW? 615 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,250 - WELL, LIKE I SAID, THE D.A.'S OFFICE WAS WILLING 616 00:27:51,290 --> 00:27:53,190 TO DROP THE ASSAULT CHARGES-- THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. 617 00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:54,160 - WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS? 618 00:27:54,190 --> 00:27:56,420 - YOU'RE BEING CHARGED WITH STATUTORY RAPE. 619 00:27:58,430 --> 00:28:00,460 - COME ON. LET'S GO. 620 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:02,060 - WAIT, WAIT, WHOA. 621 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,770 WHAT HAPPENED? 622 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,100 - DEFENDING YOUR FRIEND JUST BECAME 623 00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:07,700 A HELL OF A LOT MORE INTERESTING. 624 00:28:09,810 --> 00:28:12,740 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 43940

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