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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,400 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:12,660 MY NAME IS HANK. 3 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:14,200 - I KNOW. 4 00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:16,800 MIA. 5 00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:19,840 - THIS IS MIA, BILL'S DAUGHTER, AND THIS IS HANK. 6 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:22,170 YOU--YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? - NO. 7 00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:24,810 - SHE'S 16. - 16, WOW. 8 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,080 IT'S NOT A MEMOIR. 9 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,280 - IT'S A WRITTEN ACCOUNT OF MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. 10 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:31,280 - WRITTEN BY ME AS A FUCKING NOVEL. 11 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,780 - EVEN I'M CONFUSED, AND I STOLE THE DAMN THING. 12 00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:35,150 OH, DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEMO? 13 00:00:35,190 --> 00:00:36,520 I'M TAKING FUCKING & PUNCHING 14 00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:38,090 ALL OVER THIS FAIR COUNTRY OF OURS-- 15 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,260 COMING SOON TO A SUPER-SIZED BOOKSTORE NEAR YOU. 16 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,430 - THEY CAME-- THE DIVORCE PAPERS. 17 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,330 - I HAVE SAID ALL ALONG 18 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,400 I STILL LOVE YOU. 19 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:47,830 - FUCK YOUR PUSSY. 20 00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:49,670 [loud crash] - OW! OH, MY BACK! 21 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:50,870 - YOU OKAY? 22 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,740 - OKAY. - WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 23 00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:54,600 FUCKING RETARDED. - OW. 24 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,840 - RETARDED AND SWEET... JUST LIKE YOU, RUNKLE. 25 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,680 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH ALL OF THEM. 26 00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:05,720 - [groans] YES, I SUPPOSE I DID. 27 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:08,290 SO WHAT, YOU'RE SAYING WE JUST PACK UP AND LEAVE L.A.? 28 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,150 THE THREE OF US MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK TOGETHER? 29 00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:11,690 - YEAH, END OF THE SEMESTER, 30 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,160 WHATEVER. 31 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,470 [GG Allin's Carmelita] 32 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:32,680 * 33 00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:37,410 - * AND I'M THERE WITH YOU IN ENSENADA * 34 00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:42,490 * AND I'M HERE IN ECHO PARK 35 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,550 * CARMELITA 36 00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:48,690 - WHAT IS IT ABOUT NEW YORK, HANK? 37 00:01:48,730 --> 00:01:50,630 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA FIND THERE? 38 00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:52,400 - HAPPINESS. 39 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:54,200 I'LL BE HAPPY... 40 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:55,800 FINALLY. 41 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:58,570 - ARE YOU SURE? - YES, OF COURSE I'M SURE. 42 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,770 IT'S WHAT I WANT. 43 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,210 I LOVE YOU. 44 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,580 - WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE. 45 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:09,250 - OH, WELL, THAT IS TRUE, HONEY, BUT-- 46 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,720 - WHY DO YOU DRINK SO MUCH? 47 00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:14,250 ARE YOU PUNISHING YOURSELF? 48 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,890 DO YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING? 49 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:22,230 - I MISS FUCKING YOU. 50 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:25,230 - MM, I MISS IT TOO, BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE. 51 00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:26,500 - I DON'T CARE ANYMORE, HANK. 52 00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,870 OUR BEST DAYS ARE BEHIND US NOW. 53 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,530 YOU'RE JUST CHASING THE DRAGON. 54 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:33,240 WE'RE NEVER GONNA LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 55 00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:37,540 YOU'RE GONNA DIE POOR, DRUNK, AND ALONE. 56 00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:38,940 - I WAS AVAILABLE, HANK. 57 00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,810 WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME BACK? 58 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,650 - WELL, BECAUSE I LOVE HER. 59 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,280 - YOU'RE MY ROLE MODEL, YOU KNOW, 60 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,350 FOR MEN, FOR RELATIONSHIPS. 61 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:54,220 WHAT HOPE COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE? 62 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:58,360 * I THINK I'M SINKING DOWN 63 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:03,570 * AND I'M ALL STRUNG OUT ON HEROIN * 64 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,670 * ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN 65 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,640 - [groaning] 66 00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:22,390 OH! AH! 67 00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:24,990 - ARE YOU OKAY? - OH, I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 68 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:28,260 WHAT UP, LADIES? 69 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,260 - YOUR DAUGHTER HAS A QUESTION FOR YOU. 70 00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,530 - ALL RIGHT. 71 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,260 ASK AWAY, SHORTNESS. 72 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,330 - WHAT'S THAT PLACE, AGAIN, WITH THE REALLY GOOD BAGELS? 73 00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:38,940 - OH, HOW SOON THEY FORGET. 74 00:03:38,970 --> 00:03:41,770 MURRAY'S, THE ANSWER IS MURRAY'S. 75 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:43,940 - MURRAY'S. THAT'S RIGHT. 76 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,880 WHAT ABOUT THAT OTHER PLACE, ON THE WEST SIDE, 77 00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:47,680 WE GO FOR BREAKFAST SOMETIMES? 78 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,010 BARNEY SOMETHING-- 79 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,210 - YEAH, GREENGRASS-- BARNEY GREENGRASS, 80 00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:53,020 WHERE YOU MAY HAVE VERY WELL BEEN CONCEIVED, YOUNG LADY. 81 00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:55,020 - REALLY? - YEAH. 82 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:57,490 - ACTUALLY, NO, IT WAS THE BATHROOM AT CBGB'S. 83 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,960 - JESUS CHRIST, BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE. 84 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,430 - YEAH, WELL, WE WENT TO THE BATHROOM 85 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:03,830 AT GREENGRASS THE NEXT DAY, IF YOU RECALL. 86 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:07,830 AND--AND WHO'S TO SAY WHICH BATCH OF SEED TOOK ROOT, WOMAN? 87 00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,830 - THIS IS TRUE. - AND THERE GOES MY APPETITE. 88 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:12,870 - WE SHOULD MAYBE GO PAY A VISIT THERE, TO THAT SHRINE 89 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,570 TO YOUR VAGIN...A. 90 00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:17,510 - ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO START TALKING OPENLY ABOUT SEX, 91 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:20,440 AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE IT. 92 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,510 CAN YOU PASS THE ORANGE JUICE? 93 00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:24,750 - OF COURSE. 94 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:36,730 - [mumbling] - SHUT UP! 95 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,560 - COME ON! 96 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,830 - THIS IS FUN. 97 00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:42,730 I'M GONNA MISS THIS. I'M GONNA MISS YOU, MAN. 98 00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,500 - I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO, VANILLA SWEETNESS. 99 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,500 - NO, I MEAN, I'M REALLY GONNA MISS YOU. 100 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:49,010 YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND, HANK. 101 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,910 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME TO NEW YORK WITH US? 102 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,410 - REALLY? - YEAH. 103 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,710 - YOU CAN BE OUR HOUSEBOY, HOMEBOY. 104 00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:56,110 - THAT WOULD BE FUN, ACTUALLY, YEAH. 105 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,450 I COULD MAKE YOU GUYS BREAKFAST. 106 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,050 I COULD HELP BECCA GET DRESSED AND READY FOR SCHOOL. 107 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,990 - SHE'S NOT A TODDLER, YOU FUCKTARD. 108 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:06,120 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS... 109 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,060 YET. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YET?" 110 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,590 YOU'VE HAD, LIKE, FIVE VASECTOMIES. 111 00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:11,830 - TWO, BUDDY BOY, TWO. 112 00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:14,460 AND, YOU KNOW, I THINK MAYBE IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A REVERSAL. 113 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,500 I THINK I MIGHT LIKE TO MAKE A BABY WITH MARCY. 114 00:05:17,530 --> 00:05:18,600 - INTERESTING. - MM. 115 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,140 - HAS--HAS MARCY SHOWN ANY INCLINATION 116 00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:23,840 THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO MAKE A BABY WITH YOU? 117 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:26,780 - I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE SHE MIGHT BE OPEN TO SUCH A THING. 118 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,040 YES, I DO. 119 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,050 - WOULD THAT BE BEFORE OR AFTER THE DIVORCE PAPERS COME THROUGH? 120 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,650 - NO, NO, NO-- YOU DON'T KNOW, HANK. 121 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,580 WE'VE BEEN GETTING ALONG LIKE GANGBUSTERS LATELY. 122 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:35,990 REALLY, I WOULD SAY, IF I WAS A BETTIN' MAN, 123 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,990 THAT THESE TWO CRAZY KIDS ARE GONNA WORK IT OUT. 124 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:41,590 YES, WE ARE BACK--UP HIGH. GIVE ME FIVE. 125 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:42,860 WAY UP, IN THE AIR. 126 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:44,490 UP-- - TOO HIGH FOR ME. 127 00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:45,700 - YEAH, OKAY. 128 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,560 - HONEY, I'M HOME. 129 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,440 - HEY, LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN. 130 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,540 - HI, HANK. 131 00:05:55,570 --> 00:06:00,840 - WOW, IT'S MY FAVORITE FEMALE NOVELIST. 132 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,810 - DOESN'T SHE LOOK BEAUTIFUL? 133 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:05,620 - YES, SHE DOES. LOOK AT YOU ALL FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY-FREE 134 00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:06,950 AND GROWN UP. 135 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,620 - YEAH, I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU GUYS 136 00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:10,420 BEFORE YOU TOOK OFF FOR NEW YORK. 137 00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,820 - SO, UH, WHAT-- WHAT BRINGS YOU TO-- 138 00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:14,590 TO THESE FAIR PARTS? 139 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,060 - THE, UH, PAPERBACK IS COMING OUT, 140 00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:18,830 AND WE'RE DOING A LITTLE SIGNING/READING IN VENICE. 141 00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,900 I WANT YOU GUYS TO COME. 142 00:06:19,930 --> 00:06:21,630 - OH, GOD, WOULD THAT WE COULD, 143 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:22,930 BUT WE HAVE TOO MUCH WITH THE PACKING. 144 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,070 IT'S OVERWHELMING, REALLY, 145 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,940 AND WE GOT TO SET OUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER, SO TO SPEAK. 146 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,770 - NO, I-I-- THAT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF. 147 00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:32,780 I-I SAID YES ALREADY, 148 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,010 THAT WE'D GO. - OF COURSE YOU DID. 149 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,710 - WELL, AND ALSO, MIA WANTS TO 150 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,580 INTRODUCE US TO SOMEONE. 151 00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:42,650 - OH, A PAROLE OFFICER, PERHAPS? 152 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,820 - A BOYFRIEND, AND IT'S SERIOUS, RIGHT? 153 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,890 - YEAH, WELL, HE IS PRETTY GREAT. 154 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:48,960 - IS IT LOVE? 155 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,600 - WELL, WHAT DOES-- WHAT DOES SHE KNOW OF LOVE? 156 00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:54,060 SHE'S FAR TOO YOUNG TO SPEAK ON SUCH MATTERS. 157 00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:57,070 - TOO YOUNG? HANK, DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEMO? 158 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,900 I'M TOTALLY LEGAL NOW. 159 00:06:58,940 --> 00:06:59,900 - GOOD TO KNOW. 160 00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,740 MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE JUST WAY TOO MUCH FUN. 161 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:03,010 - RIGHT? 162 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,070 - ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO STAY HOME AND WATCH BECCA? 163 00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:06,810 BECAUSE... - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 164 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:07,880 - I DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THIS MUCH FUN. 165 00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:08,950 [phone ringing] - YOU KNOW WHAT? 166 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:10,750 THAT'S PROBABLY BECCA RIGHT NOW. 167 00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:12,080 WE'RE COMING. 168 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,480 HELLO? 169 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,050 HEY, SWEETIE, GUESS... 170 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:22,230 - WELL, AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE TO STAY AND WATCH YOU SQUIRM, 171 00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:24,030 I, UH--I GOT TO GET MOVING. 172 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:26,200 BUT I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT, RIGHT? I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 173 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:28,630 - SO AM I--SO MUCH SO. OKAY. 174 00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,630 - AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, AFTER ALL THIS TIME, 175 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,740 YOU STILL MAKE ME A LITTLE WET. 176 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,140 TOODLE-LOO! 177 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,910 - I'M SHUTTERING THE AGENCY. 178 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:43,650 - WHAT? WHY? 179 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,850 - [chuckles] 180 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,790 YEAH, IT'S TIME THIS OLD BROAD HUNG UP HER DANCING SHOES, 181 00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,790 TIME I KICKED BACK, 182 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:55,220 RELAXED, SPENT A LITTLE QUALITY TIME WITH MY DICKIE. 183 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:59,160 SO MANY POSITIONS LEFT TO EXPLORE. 184 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,670 AND I HAVE TO WORK ON THIS. 185 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,770 - WHAT AM BE DAT? 186 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,270 - MY MEMOIR. 187 00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:11,940 - WOW. 188 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,880 I WOULD LOVE TO READ IT SOMETIME. 189 00:08:14,910 --> 00:08:16,880 - OH, I WANT YOU TO READ IT. 190 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,750 AND THEN I WANT YOU TO SELL IT. 191 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,790 THAT'S RIGHT, RUNKLE. 192 00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:23,190 I WANT YOU TO BE MY AGENT. 193 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:25,560 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SUE? YOU FIRED ME. 194 00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,320 - LOOK, RUNKLE, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT, 195 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,690 YOU'RE A MAVERICK, A RENEGADE. 196 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:33,100 YOU BEAT OFF TO THE MARCH OF YOUR OWN DRUMMER. 197 00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:35,200 THAT'S THE KIND OF AGENT I WANT. 198 00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:38,700 THAT'S THE KIND OF AGENT I'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO BE. 199 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,300 - [chuckling] 200 00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:43,110 - AND IN THE MEANTIME, 201 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,110 YOU CAN TAKE ME. 202 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:46,580 - [sighs] 203 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,980 OH, OKAY, I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 204 00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:50,850 YOU'RE DANGLING YOUR MEMOIRS-- 205 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,980 WHICH I KNOW I CAN SELL THE SHIT OUT OF, BY THE WAY-- 206 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:56,650 AS AN EXCUSE TO CONTINUE OUR TORRID LITTLE AFFAIR. 207 00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,760 [groaning] 208 00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:02,830 - I DON'T SEE WHY THE TWO CANNOT PEACEFULLY COEXIST. 209 00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,060 - BECAUSE I LOVE MY WIFE, SUE. 210 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,030 WE'RE ON A SERIOUS UPSWING NOW. 211 00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:10,070 AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR CONSTANT SEXUAL HARASSMENT. 212 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,200 - YOU SAY HARASSMENT. 213 00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:15,270 I SAY A COUPLE OF BIG, JUICY ORGASMS BETWEEN FRIENDS. 214 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,340 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL HAVE IT YOUR WAY-- 215 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,710 COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL. 216 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:20,880 - THANK YOU, SUE. 217 00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,150 - UTTERLY BORING. 218 00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,750 AW... 219 00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:30,620 [sighs] COLLINI...WET. 220 00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:38,700 - LOVE THE WRITING-- 221 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:41,060 SO VISCERAL AND REAL. 222 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,170 WHO ARE SOME OF YOUR INFLUENCES? 223 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,940 - OH, GOD, UH, THERE ARE SO MANY. 224 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,710 UM, BUT IF I HAD TO NARROW IT DOWN, 225 00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:51,840 I GUESS I'D HAVE TO SAY BUKOWSKI-- 226 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,310 - [groaning] 227 00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,380 - UM, NABOKOV. 228 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,650 BUT I GUESS THE WRITER WHO REALLY SHAPED ME, 229 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,680 THE ONE WHO WAS MY LAST TRUE INFLUENCE 230 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,950 BEFORE I STARTED DOING THIS PROFESSIONALLY, 231 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:05,220 THAT WOULD HAVE TO BE HANK MOODY. 232 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,390 [applause] 233 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:09,760 - OH, ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 234 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,700 - YOU'RE SO MOODY. 235 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:19,070 - YOU MUST BE HANK AND KAREN. 236 00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,070 - YES. 237 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,910 - PAUL RYDER, MIA'S MANAGER. 238 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:23,740 - OH, HEY. - WOW. 239 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,010 MIA'S GOT A MANAGER NOW. 240 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,740 - UH-HUH. - WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? 241 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,950 - [chuckles] OH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED. 242 00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:30,980 CAREERS NEED GUIDANCE, NURTURING. 243 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,950 - SURE. - YOU HEAR THAT? NURTURING. 244 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,350 - I SUPPOSE, IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING. 245 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:38,390 - HEY, I'M--I JUST-- I WANTED TO TELL YOU, 246 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,020 I'M A REALLY BIG FAN. 247 00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,420 - OH. - SO... 248 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,960 ANYWAY, MIA WANTED ME TO INVITE YOU GUYS 249 00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,390 BACK TO THE HOUSE FOR A DRINK. 250 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:46,830 - NO. - YES. 251 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,770 - YOU WILL. YOU WILL SEE US LATER. 252 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,030 - OKAY. - OKAY. 253 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,970 - ALL RIGHT. 254 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,370 - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN? 255 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,910 - HE'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS, OKAY? 256 00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,140 IT'LL ALL BE ABOUT YOU. 257 00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:05,950 - DO YOU WANT TO BONE? 258 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:08,050 - DO I WANT TO BONE? 259 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,320 DOES THE POPE SHIT IN THE VATICAN? 260 00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:11,920 - IN THE WOODS. - WHAT? 261 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,090 - DOES THE POPE SHIT IN THE WOODS? 262 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,490 THAT'S THE JOKE. 263 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,990 - I KNOW. I MODIFIED IT. 264 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:18,930 THAT'S WHAT FUNNY PEOPLE DO. 265 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,460 - WHATEVER, DUDE. 266 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:24,700 - YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GETTING A REVERSAL... 267 00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:30,140 OF MY VASECTOMY. 268 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:32,080 - WHY? - WHY? 269 00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:34,810 IN CASE I WANT TO HAVE KIDS ONE DAY. 270 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,380 DO YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA? 271 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:41,950 - I THINK... 272 00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,250 SHUT UP AND FUCK ME. 273 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,390 - I CAN DO THAT. 274 00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:48,520 - OH... 275 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,030 PARTY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, RAISE THE ROOF. 276 00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,800 - HI, GUYS. I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 277 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:55,970 - HEY, YOU WERE GREAT. - OH, THANKS. 278 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,500 OH, THANKS. THANKS. 279 00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:02,240 DID YOU GUYS MEET PAUL? - YES. 280 00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:04,470 - SO WHERE'S THE FELLA? 281 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,740 - THIS IS MY FELLOW. 282 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:11,410 - YOUR BOYFRIEND IS YOUR MANAGER? 283 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:12,480 - UH-HUH. 284 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,420 - OW. 285 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:18,320 [laughter] 286 00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,320 - SO IS THERE GOING TO BE A MOVIE? 287 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,260 - UH, IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT. 288 00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,890 WE'RE TALKING TO EVAN RACHEL WOOD. 289 00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,190 - OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AWESOME. 290 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:26,800 SHE WOULD BE GREAT. - RACHEL WHO? 291 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:27,960 - YEAH. 292 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,270 - THE SCRIPT'S OUT TO DIRECTORS RIGHT NOW. 293 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,270 - DID--DID YOU WRITE THE SCRIPT, SWEETIE? 294 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,170 - OH, NO. 295 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,140 SCREENWRITING'S NOT REALLY MY THING--TOO MANY RULES. 296 00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,240 I'LL STICK TO FICTION. 297 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:40,110 - YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD CALL. YOU STICK TO FICTION. 298 00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,210 [muffled talking] 299 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,310 - YEAH, WELL, UM, 300 00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,350 YOU KNOW, I THINK EVAN MIGHT BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE 301 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,820 DO YOU WANT TO MEET HER? 302 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:47,880 I'LL INTRODUCE YOU GUYS. 303 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,890 - OH, YEAH, ME TOO. - WHO? 304 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,320 HONEY--OKAY, BUT I WOULD LIKE A KISS. 305 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,360 KISS ME. 306 00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:57,530 [muffled talking and moaning] 307 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:05,430 - SO... 308 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:06,500 WORKING ON ANYTHING? 309 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:07,540 - OH, GOD, NO. 310 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:09,140 UH, JUST MOSTLY MY TAN. 311 00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:10,540 I'M TRYING TO GET THAT ALL-OVER DEAL. 312 00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:12,840 IT'S HARD TO GET THE TAINT NICE AND GOLDEN, THOUGH. 313 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,240 - I IMAGINE SO. 314 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,050 IT'S BEEN A WHILE, THOUGH, HUH, 315 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,280 SINCE YOU HAD SOMETHING OUT THERE? 316 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,950 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, BUDDY BOY. 317 00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:24,050 WORRY ABOUT MIA. 318 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:26,990 - I DO WORRY ABOUT HER. 319 00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:30,060 SHE'S HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH HER SECOND BOOK. 320 00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:32,200 - I'M NOT SURPRISED. 321 00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:33,360 - WHY? 322 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400 - IT'S JUST THAT WRITING'S HARD, YOU KNOW. 323 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:40,540 WRITING'S FUCKING HARD, WUNDERKIND OR NOT. 324 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,310 - FUCK, YEAH, IT'S HARD. 325 00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:43,340 - YEAH. 326 00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:45,010 - THAT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE I THOUGHT 327 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,580 YOU WERE MEANING IT BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WRITE 328 00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,850 FUCKING & PUNCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. 329 00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:55,420 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, FRIEND. 330 00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:57,520 THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR CLIENT. 331 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:01,360 - [sighs] 332 00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:03,630 HER PUBLISHER ASKED HER TO WRITE 333 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:07,060 SOME EXTRA PAGES FOR THE PAPERBACK. 334 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,930 SHE TOLD ME SHE COULDN'T-- TOO STRESSED. 335 00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:11,900 SO I TOOK CARE OF IT, MANAGED EXPECTATIONS, 336 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:14,240 TOLD THEM THE ROAD WAS TAKING ITS TOLL. 337 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,400 THEY BOUGHT IT. 338 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,570 NO BIG DEAL. 339 00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:20,240 I HAD A FEELING... 340 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,280 SO I KEPT PRESSING HER TO SHOW ME SOME MORE PAGES. 341 00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,120 SHE FINALLY DID, AND THEY WERE RAMBLING, 342 00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:29,020 INCOHERENT, PRETENTIOUS. 343 00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:32,320 NOT THE SAME VOICE BEHIND FUCKING & PUNCHING-- 344 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,690 NOT EVEN CLOSE, NIGHT AND DAY. 345 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:38,490 SO I START ASKING QUESTIONS. 346 00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:40,660 DIDN'T TAKE LONG. 347 00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:43,630 SHE BROKE DOWN, TOLD ME EVERYTHING. 348 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:51,540 - EVERYTHING? 349 00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:54,980 - QUITE THE LITERARY SCANDAL WE HAVE HERE... 350 00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:58,950 WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING NECESSARILY. 351 00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:02,290 - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN? 352 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,220 - THINK ABOUT IT, HANK? 353 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,560 WHAT IF SHE CAME CLEAN? 354 00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,590 TOLD THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY. 355 00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:13,100 HER FAME SUDDENLY BECOMES SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY, 356 00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:15,030 SOMETHING I CAN WORK WITH. 357 00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:16,530 WHO KNOWS? MAYBE SHE GOES ON OPRAH, 358 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,000 A FUCKING REALITY SHOW-- 359 00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,740 I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST SPITBALLING HERE. 360 00:15:19,770 --> 00:15:21,200 BUT IT'S BETTER THAN FADING AWAY, 361 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,070 AND BEST OF ALL, YOU GET YOUR BOOK BACK-- 362 00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:25,640 MAYBE SOME INFAMY OF YOUR OWN. 363 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:26,580 THE PUBLISHING WORLD 364 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:29,580 KNOWS YOU AS THIS BRILLIANT TRAIN WRECK. 365 00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:32,050 LET EVERYONE ELSE IN ON IT. 366 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:36,450 I CAN GET YOU A TELL-ALL DEAL LIKE THAT. 367 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:40,520 - YOU THINK THIS SHIT IS FUNNY? 368 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,530 - NO, I THINK IT'S A FUCKING DISASTER. 369 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,200 MY BIGGEST CLIENT IS A FRAUD. 370 00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:47,660 I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE BEST OF A BAD SITUATION. 371 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,670 - FUCK YOU. YOU'RE TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON A BAD SITUATION. 372 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,470 - LOOK, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE ALL PISSED OFF 373 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:55,140 AT THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, AND YOU WANT TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME. 374 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,170 BUT JUST REMEMBER, 375 00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,770 I'M NOT THE ONE THAT FUCKED AN UNDERAGE GIRL. 376 00:15:57,810 --> 00:16:01,740 AT LEAST I WAITED TILL SHE WAS 18. 377 00:16:01,780 --> 00:16:03,050 HEY. 378 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,610 - ARE YOU BOYS GETTING ALONG? 379 00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:08,420 - FAMOUSLY. 380 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:10,750 - HEY, SWEETIE. - ISN'T HE A GENIUS, HANK? 381 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:13,590 - OH, PLEASE, I'M A MERE BUSINESSMAN. 382 00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,720 YOU ARTISTS ARE THE REAL GENIUSES. 383 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,230 TO MIA... 384 00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,460 AND TO HER GREATEST INFLUENCE. 385 00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,620 - YES, YOU CERTAINLY COULD BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 386 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:41,450 - BUT I DIDN'T KNOW. 387 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,050 - DOESN'T MATTER. 388 00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,050 IT'S YOUR WORD AGAINST HERS, AND SORRY, 389 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,790 BUT NO ONE BELIEVES A WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. 390 00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:50,190 - I THOUGHT I WAS CHARMING. 391 00:16:50,230 --> 00:16:51,790 - NOT THAT CHARMING. 392 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,370 - HANK! - HEY. WHOA, WHOA. 393 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,400 [girls laughing] 394 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,170 HEY. 395 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:06,410 KAREN! 396 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,080 - HEY! - COME ON. STOP! 397 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,150 - OH, HANK! 398 00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:14,450 [girls laughing] 399 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,430 - DON'T GO. - DON'T LEAVE. STAY WITH US. 400 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:24,730 - BECCA! - STAY! 401 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,500 - KAREN! 402 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,670 - KAREN! 403 00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,400 - I THINK SHE'S TALKING ABOUT REXY. 404 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,600 ISN'T THAT WHERE SHE'S LIKE, "HE'S JUST SO STUPID"? 405 00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:05,100 [both laughing] 406 00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:08,470 ARE YOU OKAY? 407 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,770 - YEAH, I'M GOOD. 408 00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:14,210 I JUST, UH--I DIDN'T SLEEP VERY WELL LAST NIGHT. 409 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,810 - OKAY, WELL... 410 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,350 HEY, WHY DON'T YOU, UM-- 411 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,750 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS SOURPUSS OUT FOR A WALK 412 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,850 OR SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT? 413 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,850 I'VE GOT--I'VE GOT SO MUCH PACKING TO DO. 414 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,190 I'M SO EXCITED! 415 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,600 [door opens, closes] 416 00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:46,840 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO MISS? 417 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,840 THESE WALKS. 418 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,180 WHEN I THINK BACK ON L.A., THAT'S WHAT I'LL REMEMBER. 419 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,420 - I'M SORRY, SWEETIE. DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? 420 00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:58,820 - NEVER MIND. 421 00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:03,560 THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 422 00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:05,590 DAD? 423 00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:07,300 - ALL RIGHT, GO FOR IT. 424 00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:09,670 - I HAVEN'T TOLD MOM YET. 425 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,570 FOR SOME REASON, I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO TELL YOU FIRST. 426 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,670 - OKAY. 427 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:18,240 - THE OTHER NIGHT, WHEN I SLEPT OVER AT CHELSEA'S... 428 00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:19,440 - YEAH. 429 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,540 - WE SNUCK OUT. 430 00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:21,680 - BECCA. 431 00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,550 - IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS, DAD. 432 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:28,950 AND WOULDN'T YOU RATHER I BE HONEST ABOUT THIS STUFF? 433 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:31,290 - YES, OF COURSE. OKAY. 434 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,260 GO AHEAD. 435 00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:35,790 - SO WE WERE JUST WANDERING AROUND CAMPUS, 436 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:38,260 AND WE MET THESE BOYS. 437 00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:39,760 - OKAY, NOW I'M VAGUELY NAUSEOUS. 438 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,460 - JUST BEAR WITH ME, OKAY? 439 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,330 - MM-HMM. 440 00:19:42,370 --> 00:19:43,970 - WELL, CHELSEA IMMEDIATELY HOOKED UP 441 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,570 WITH THE DICKISH GOOD-LOOKING ONE 442 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,740 AND SPENT THE NIGHT IN HIS DORM ROOM. 443 00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:51,770 I ENDED UP "SEXILED" WITH THE NERD-- 444 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,240 THE MICHAEL CERA TYPE. 445 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,380 - MICHAEL WHO? 446 00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,410 - IT DOESN'T MATTER. 447 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,480 THE POINT IS, 448 00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:58,580 WE ENDED UP WALKING AND TALKING ALL NIGHT LONG. 449 00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:00,850 HE WAS REALLY SWEET, A TOTAL GENTLEMAN. 450 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,850 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 451 00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:07,320 - HE DID KISS ME, THOUGH. 452 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,990 - HERE COMES ANOTHER WAVE. 453 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:12,330 - IT WAS NICE TO HAVE A BOY WANT TO KISS YOU. 454 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,000 HE TRIED TO GO FURTHER, BUT I STOPPED HIM. 455 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,400 - AH, THAT'S MY GIRL. 456 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,770 - HE WAS TOTALLY SWEET ABOUT IT. 457 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,500 - OKAY. - VERY UNDERSTANDING. 458 00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:20,600 - SOUNDS GOOD. 459 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,670 - HEARD ME OUT, DIDN'T PUSH IT. 460 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:23,940 - THAT'S GREAT. ALL RIGHT. 461 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,470 - BUT WE DID IT ANYWAY. 462 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:26,910 - RIGHT-- 463 00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,040 WAIT, WHAT? 464 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,610 WHAT--YOU DID--YOU DID WHAT? 465 00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:31,880 - DON'T BE MAD AT ME, OKAY? 466 00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:33,420 I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD TAKE THAT RIGHT NOW. 467 00:20:33,450 --> 00:20:34,550 - BUT-- 468 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,620 - WE USED PROTECTION. HE HAD A CONDOM IN HIS WALLET 469 00:20:36,650 --> 00:20:38,890 THAT HE SAID HAD BEEN THERE SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. 470 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,620 IT WASN'T LOVE, AND IT WASN'T PERFECT OR ANYTHING. 471 00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:44,030 BUT I'M GLAD I DID IT. I GOT IT OVER WITH. 472 00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:46,360 - BUT-- - AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU FIRST 473 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,560 BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO KNOW 474 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,900 [voice breaking] THAT YOU DIDN'T FUCK ME UP. 475 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:52,640 MY LIFE IS TOUGH AND WEIRD AND UNPLEASANT SOMETIMES, 476 00:20:52,670 --> 00:20:53,970 BUT I WALK AROUND KNOWING 477 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,770 THAT I HAVE PARENTS WHO LOVE ME, WHO CARE ABOUT ME, 478 00:20:56,810 --> 00:21:01,510 WHO ALWAYS TRY THEIR BEST, EVEN IF THEY SCREW UP SOMETIMES. 479 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:04,380 I KNOW I GAVE YOU A HARD TIME WHEN MOM WAS GONE, 480 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:06,820 BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, DAD. 481 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,980 AND I ALWAYS WILL. 482 00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,660 - ALL RIGHT. 483 00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:21,800 UM... 484 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:23,630 CAN YOU, UH... 485 00:21:23,670 --> 00:21:26,770 CAN YOU WAIT TILL NEW YORK TO TELL YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS? 486 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,340 - OKAY. 487 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,040 - OKAY. 488 00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:36,950 - I'M A WOMAN NOW, DAD. 489 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,820 - OH... 490 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,470 YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 491 00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:37,510 - DO WHAT, HANK? 492 00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:38,910 - COME ON, DON'T FUCK WITH ME. 493 00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,580 YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA WHAT HE'S THINKING. 494 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:41,740 WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM? 495 00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:43,550 - BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM. 496 00:22:43,580 --> 00:22:45,750 PEOPLE IN LOVE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING. 497 00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:48,720 WELL, MAYBE NOT IN YOUR CASE. 498 00:22:48,750 --> 00:22:51,190 - MIA, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS GUY. 499 00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:52,490 YOU CAN. 500 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,720 - OH, YEAH? WHO'S BETTER, YOU? 501 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,990 THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE, 502 00:22:57,030 --> 00:22:58,760 AND HE'S BEEN THE ONLY ONE TAKING CARE OF ME. 503 00:22:58,790 --> 00:22:59,900 - COME ON, I KNOW YOU. 504 00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:01,500 YOU'RE A MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE FUCK, 505 00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,900 BUT YOU'RE NOT MALICIOUS. 506 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,170 FORGET ABOUT ME. 507 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,970 THINK ABOUT KAREN, AND THINK ABOUT BECCA. 508 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,200 THIS IS GONNA HURT THEM. 509 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,970 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 510 00:23:10,010 --> 00:23:12,440 - LOOK, IT'S MY STORY TO TELL, 511 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,940 AND MY STORY INCLUDES THE FACT THAT I SEDUCED YOU. 512 00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:16,950 YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD I WAS. 513 00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,850 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING TO PRESS CHARGES OR ANYTHING. 514 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,750 - YOU REALLY THINK THAT MATTERS AT THIS POINT? 515 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:22,990 KAREN LOVES YOU. 516 00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:25,450 SHE TREATED YOU LIKE YOU WERE HER OWN DAUGHTER. 517 00:23:25,490 --> 00:23:27,560 AND BECCA LOOKS UP TO YOU LIKE A BIG SISTER. 518 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,060 - IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME. 519 00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:37,200 IT DOESN'T FEEL SO GREAT, THOUGH, YOU KNOW, 520 00:23:37,230 --> 00:23:38,800 TO BE FAMOUS FOR NO REASON. 521 00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:41,140 SOMETIMES I CAN GO ALONG WITH IT JUST FINE, 522 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:45,540 AND I REMEMBER... 523 00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:47,540 THAT'S THE THING ABOUT SECRETS, HANK, 524 00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:50,010 THEY HAVE A FUNNY WAY OF COMING OUT. 525 00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:52,580 - YOU OKAY, BABY? 526 00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:56,890 - I'M FINE--FINE. 527 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,150 - CAN YOU JUST FUCK OFF? 528 00:23:58,190 --> 00:24:00,090 GIVE US FIVE MINUTES? 529 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,560 - HANK, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 530 00:24:02,590 --> 00:24:04,560 WE COULD ALL JUST PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER. 531 00:24:04,590 --> 00:24:05,730 WE COULD FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY 532 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,230 TO APPROACH THIS WHOLE THING. 533 00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:09,060 I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOUR FAMILY. 534 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:10,130 I'M SENSITIVE TO THAT. 535 00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:13,200 - REALLY? YEAH, OKAY. YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO THAT. 536 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,600 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY FAMILY. 537 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,810 - NO, NOT MUCH. I'LL ADMIT TO THAT. 538 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,280 BUT FROM WHAT I DO KNOW, 539 00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:23,250 YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY THE MODEL PATRIARCH. 540 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,880 - [chuckles] 541 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:36,660 - STOP! HANK! 542 00:24:36,690 --> 00:24:38,130 HANK! STOP! 543 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,060 HANK! STOP! STOP! 544 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,760 HANK! 545 00:24:46,230 --> 00:24:47,870 - YOU'RE FUCKED, MOODY. 546 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:49,870 I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 547 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,290 - HEY, YOU! 548 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:10,160 I'M ALMOST DONE! 549 00:25:10,190 --> 00:25:11,460 PROUD OF ME? 550 00:25:15,330 --> 00:25:16,730 ARE YOU EXCITED? 551 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,170 OH, MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED? 552 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,710 WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU? 553 00:25:22,740 --> 00:25:24,770 - I'M FINE. - ARE YOU OKAY? 554 00:25:24,810 --> 00:25:25,910 - I GOT INTO A FIGHT. - WHAT? 555 00:25:25,940 --> 00:25:27,580 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - IT'S OKAY. 556 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:28,580 I HAVE, UM-- - HANK! 557 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,110 NO, IT'S--I JUST-- 558 00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:33,120 - WHAT? 559 00:25:33,150 --> 00:25:34,680 - I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 560 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:35,980 - OKAY. WHAT IS IT-- 561 00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:37,290 - UM... 562 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,320 - HANK? 563 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:41,660 WHAT? 564 00:25:41,690 --> 00:25:42,730 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THIS BAD? 565 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:43,930 YOU LOOK... 566 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,960 [Elton John's Rocket Man] 567 00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:48,160 - * SHE PACKED MY BAGS LAST NIGHT PRE-FLIGHT * 568 00:25:51,170 --> 00:25:54,740 * ZERO HOUR 9:00 A.M. 569 00:25:57,170 --> 00:26:03,210 * AND I'M GONNA BE HIGH 570 00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:04,950 * AS A KITE BY THEN 571 00:26:11,690 --> 00:26:15,590 * I MISS THE EARTH SO MUCH, I MISS MY WIFE * 572 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,670 * IT'S LONELY OUT IN SPACE 573 00:26:25,070 --> 00:26:30,110 * ON SUCH A TIMELESS FLIGHT 574 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,050 * AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG, LONG TIME * 575 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,020 * TILL TOUCH DOWN BRINGS ME ROUND AGAIN TO FIND * 576 00:26:46,050 --> 00:26:48,290 * I'M NOT THE MAN THEY THINK I AM AT HOME * 577 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,730 * OH, NO NO NO 578 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,300 * I'M A ROCKET MAN 579 00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:57,070 * ROCKET MAN 580 00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:02,100 * BURNING OUT HIS FUSE UP HERE ALONE * 581 00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:10,980 * MARS AIN'T THE KIND OF PLACE TO RAISE YOUR KIDS * 582 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:19,890 * IN FACT IT'S COLD AS HELL 583 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:25,360 * AND THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO RAISE THEM * 584 00:27:25,390 --> 00:27:27,260 * IF YOU DID 585 00:27:33,340 --> 00:27:37,670 * AND ALL THIS SCIENCE I DON'T UNDERSTAND * 586 00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:44,350 * IT'S JUST MY JOB FIVE DAYS A WEEK * 587 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:52,860 * A ROCKET MAN 588 00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:55,890 * A ROCKET MAN 589 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:05,070 * AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG, LONG TIME * 590 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:08,740 * TILL TOUCH DOWN BRINGS ME ROUND AGAIN TO FIND * 591 00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:11,740 * I'M NOT THE MAN THEY THINK I AM AT HOME * 592 00:28:11,770 --> 00:28:14,380 * OH, NO NO NO 593 00:28:14,410 --> 00:28:18,410 * I'M A ROCKET MAN 594 00:28:18,450 --> 00:28:19,980 * ROCKET MAN 595 00:28:20,020 --> 00:28:23,490 * BURNING OUT HIS FUSE UP HERE ALONE * 596 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,090 * AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG, LONG TIME * 597 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:32,800 * TILL TOUCH DOWN BRINGS ME ROUND AGAIN TO FIND * 598 00:28:32,830 --> 00:28:35,460 * I'M NOT THE MAN THEY THINK I AM AT HOME * 599 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:38,330 * OH, NO NO NO 600 00:28:38,370 --> 00:28:42,100 * I'M A ROCKET MAN 601 00:28:42,140 --> 00:28:43,810 * ROCKET MAN 602 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,110 * BURNING OUT HIS FUSE UP HERE ALONE * 603 00:28:47,140 --> 00:28:50,180 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 604 00:28:50,210 --> 00:28:54,480 * AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG, LONG TIME * 42238

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