All language subtitles for Californication S03E11 Comings & Goings

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:11,860 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,630 - I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO RICHARD BATES, THE WRITER. 3 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:14,960 - BIG FAN. 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,430 - WHO WANTS TO SEE ME TUCK AND DO THE PEE PEE DANCE? 5 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:18,670 - [laughs loudly] - [growls] 6 00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,070 - WHOA! 7 00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:23,370 - WE'RE REALLY GONNA DO THIS, SELL THE PLACE? 8 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,940 - ISN'T THAT WHAT WE WANT? - YEAH, SURE. I GUESS. 9 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:27,810 - I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH IT ALREADY. 10 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,380 I WANT TO SELL THIS FUCKING HOUSE 11 00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:30,780 AND GET ON WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. 12 00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:32,980 - SO WHAT, YOU'RE SAYING JUST PACK UP AND LEAVE L.A.? 13 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:34,950 THE THREE OF US MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK TOGETHER? 14 00:00:34,980 --> 00:00:37,590 - YEAH, END OF THE SEMESTER, WHATEVER. 15 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,260 [crunches loudly] 16 00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:40,520 - SO WHICH ONE ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH? 17 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:41,690 - EXCUSE ME? 18 00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:44,030 - MY BETS ARE ON THE YOUNG, VOLUPTUOUS STUDENT. 19 00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:46,500 - THIS IS SO NOT FAIR. 20 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,900 - I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, HANK MOODY. 21 00:00:48,930 --> 00:00:50,270 - HO-- 22 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,470 - I'VE NEVER STEPPED OUTSIDE OF MY MARRIAGE BEFORE. 23 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,000 PLEASE, GO. 24 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,040 OH. 25 00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:56,270 - OH, SOMETHING MUST BE DIFFERENT. 26 00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:58,140 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU FUCKED MY WIFE. 27 00:00:58,180 --> 00:00:59,410 - WELL, THERE'S THAT. 28 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,910 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 29 00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:02,250 - YOU DIDN'T TELL HER? - TELL ME WHAT? 30 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,310 - BECCA'S FATHER AND I HAD A SLIGHT INDISCRETION. 31 00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:06,580 - SHE'S GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? 32 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:08,950 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT FELICIA AND HER MIDLIFE CRISIS. 33 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:11,220 - WAIT, WHO ELSE HAS HE BEEN FUCKING? 34 00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:12,260 - YOU'RE A GODDAMN GIRL WHISPERER. 35 00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:13,560 - OKAY. 36 00:01:13,590 --> 00:01:15,560 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH ALL OF THEM. 37 00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:17,930 - WILL YOU LIVE? - I'M TRYING. 38 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,500 - WELL, THAT'S ALL ANYBODY CAN ASK FOR. 39 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:21,060 OH, HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 40 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,300 YEAH. 41 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,980 - [sighs] 42 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:39,180 LORDY BAGORDY, WE MADE SOME FUCKING LOVE, WOMAN. 43 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:41,520 THEY SHOULD PUT US IN THE JOY OF SEX-- 44 00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:43,850 A NICE LITTLE PENCIL SKETCH OF US DOING IT. 45 00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:45,020 WE'RE THAT GOOD. 46 00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:48,020 - [laughs] WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 47 00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:51,030 - I'M NOT SENSING THE SAME LEVEL OF ENTHUSIASM. 48 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,200 - OH, NO. I--IT WAS GOOD. 49 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:56,200 - COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU WEREN'T QUITE AS VOCAL 50 00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:57,470 AS YOU NORMALLY ARE. 51 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,640 I MEAN, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A SCREAMER PER SE, 52 00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:03,110 BUT I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU FOR A LITTLE INTENSE MOANING. 53 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,710 [mimicking Karen's moaning] 54 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,510 - HANK, STOP IT. - [mimicking continues] 55 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,150 - THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR THAT. 56 00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:11,750 A WOMAN DOES LOVE A REENACTMENT 57 00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,980 OF THE MOST VULNERABLE MOMENT. 58 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:15,590 - OH, BABY. 59 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,790 BUT YOU GOT THERE, RIGHT? 60 00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:21,460 - CLOSE. 61 00:02:21,490 --> 00:02:24,260 - OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. IT WAS, LIKE, A TINY ONE. 62 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,930 THAT HAPPENS. THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. 63 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,760 - NOT SO MUCH. 64 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,670 - WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? 65 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,600 YOU MEAN NOT EVEN A LITTLE ONE, 66 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,440 LIKE A MICRO-ORGASM? - NO. 67 00:02:33,470 --> 00:02:35,970 - ARE YOU SURE? JESUS, THIS IS UPSETTING. 68 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,610 - THE TRUTH IS, HANK, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME-- 69 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,980 WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME REALLY HARD TIMES. 70 00:02:41,010 --> 00:02:42,480 - I KNOW THAT. - SO-- 71 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:46,480 - BUT WE'VE ALWAYS HAD OUR FIRE AND OUR PASSION. 72 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,490 OUR BEAUTIFUL SEX ORGANS DON'T KNOW ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS, 73 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,320 AND WE SHOULD DEFINITELY KEEP THEM OUT OF IT. 74 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,090 YOU GOT TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE TO PLEASE YOU, WOMAN. 75 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,420 - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 76 00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:55,890 WE, WE CAN'T. IT'S TOO LATE. 77 00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:58,500 IT'S NOT GONNA WORK. NO, THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE. 78 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:01,130 AH! NO, NO, NO. ANYWAY, WE HAVE PLANS. 79 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,730 - IT'S SATURDAY. I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY. 80 00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:05,740 - FELICIA. 81 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:07,300 - FELICIA. - YOUR NEW FRIEND. 82 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,340 - WHAT? - YES. 83 00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:09,670 - NO. - SHE INVITED US FOR LUNCH. 84 00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,010 - OH. - I KNOW. 85 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,080 AND I HAD TO SAY YES, BECAUSE-- - NO, YOU DIDN'T. 86 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,250 - GOD, THAT WOMAN IS SO ANNOYING. 87 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,810 SHE'S SO IRRITATING. ARGH! 88 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:17,880 - OOH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 89 00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:20,150 LIKE THAT, ONLY LOUDER AND DEEPER. 90 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,890 I CAN WORK WITH THAT. - NO, NO, NO, NO, IT'S OVER. 91 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,890 - ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME. - AH. IT'S OVER. 92 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,220 I GOT TO GO. - OH... 93 00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:26,390 - I GOT TO GET READY. 94 00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:29,560 - ALL RIGHT. JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT... 95 00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:33,360 WHILE I TALK MY TESTICLES INTO DESCENDING. 96 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,500 [faucet turns on] 97 00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:37,830 GUYS? 98 00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:40,840 [upbeat music] 99 00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:48,880 * 100 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,920 [woman laughing] 101 00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:28,550 - WOW. 102 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:31,020 LOOKS LIKE THERE'S SOME KIND OF A BOOK CLUB OR SOMETHING. 103 00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:32,660 - OF A SORT. 104 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,690 [indistinct chatter] 105 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,030 OH, DEAR. 106 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:38,730 - AT LEAST IT WON'T BE A DULL SATURDAY AFTERNOON. 107 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,270 - WELCOME. HELLO. COME IN. 108 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,270 OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. THANK YOU. 109 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,940 - NO, IT IS YOU WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE. 110 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:48,040 THIS IS QUITE A SURPRISE. 111 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,870 - I THINK PLEASURE IS THE WORD YOU WERE LOOKING FOR. 112 00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,380 - OR SURPRISE. 113 00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:52,680 - THEY ALL HEARD THAT I WAS HAVING YOU OVER. 114 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,710 - GUESS THE WHOLE YA-YA SISTERHOOD 115 00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,050 HAD TO GET IN ON IT, HUH? 116 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,250 - YEAH, WELL, WE CAN'T LET YOU SKIP TOWN 117 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,650 WITHOUT A FOND FAREWELL. 118 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,650 - OH, YEAH, OUR LAST CLASS WAS VERY UNSATISFYING, 119 00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,320 SINCE YOU DIDN'T TEACH US ANYTHING. 120 00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:05,150 - KAREN? THIS IS JILL. 121 00:05:05,190 --> 00:05:07,790 SHE WAS HANK'S TEACHING ASSISTANT THIS SEMESTER, 122 00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,630 AND THAT'S JACKIE. 123 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:11,500 - HEY, JACKIE. WE--WE MET IN CLASS, RIGHT? 124 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,700 - WE WERE ALL THERE-- - IN A WAY. 125 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,570 - WHY--WHY DON'T I COME WITH YOU GUYS? 126 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,070 WE CAN HANG OUT, TRY ON SOME LIP GLOSS, 127 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,240 YOU KNOW, SPARKLY? 128 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,540 - YOU MADE YOUR BED. 129 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,510 - YEAH, AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIE IN IT. 130 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,770 HAVE FUN, HANK. 131 00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:35,150 - WAKE THE FUCK UP, RUNKLE. 132 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,620 [exhales sharply] OPEN HOUSE TIME. 133 00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:39,320 YOU KNOW THE HOUSE WON'T SELL 134 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,830 IF WE'RE WITHIN FIVE MILES OF IT. 135 00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:44,160 - GIVE ME TEN MINUTES, TEN MINUTES. 136 00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:47,400 COME ON! WE GOT TO JET. 137 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,000 BUYERS CAN SMELL OUR IMPENDING DIVORCE 138 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,470 FROM THE FREEWAY. 139 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,170 - COMING! I'M COMING. 140 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,940 - OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. 141 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:58,410 - OH, GOD, YOU REALLY ARE COMING. BARF. 142 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,980 - I TOLD YOU. 143 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,140 AND I TOLD YOU. 144 00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:03,480 SHE NEVER FUCKING LISTENS, AM I RIGHT? 145 00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,180 - HI. 146 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,550 UM, YOU MUST BE MARCY. I'M-- 147 00:06:09,590 --> 00:06:11,890 - GETTING YOUR PANTS AND GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. 148 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,890 NOW, PLEASE. THANK YOU. 149 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,490 THERE'S A GOOD GIRL. OFF YOU GO. 150 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,390 YEAH. 151 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:21,030 - I'LL CALL YOU. - [scoffs] 152 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:23,330 REALLY? THE FLOOR, THAT'S YOUR MOVE? 153 00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:24,670 - YOU SAID NOT TO MESS UP THE BED 154 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:25,800 IF WE'RE SHOWING THE HOUSE. 155 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,270 - CHRIST, RUNKLE! 156 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,170 - OH, I'M SORRY SHE'S NOT A COKE-SNORTING TEEN IDOL 157 00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,910 OR A BIG BLACK RAPIST. 158 00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:32,780 NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE CLASS UP THE ASS. 159 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,980 - NO ASS, JUST CLASS. 160 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,620 - OH, MY GOD. 161 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,950 I COULD TAKE THE STUBBORNNESS, REALLY I COULD, 162 00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:45,490 AND THE SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND THE LATENESS 163 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,760 AND THE "COOLER THAN SCHOOL AND ALL THE REST OF US 164 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:48,890 NE'ER DO WELL" ATTITUDE, 165 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,230 BUT THE THING THAT ABSOLUTELY GOT ME 166 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:54,560 WAS THE UNWARRANTED ADVICE ABOUT MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK. 167 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,470 - OH, BUT, YOU KNOW, HE'S FULLY QUALIFIED TO DO THAT, 168 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,400 BECAUSE HE HAS SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING 169 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:01,570 OF WOMANHOOD. 170 00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:03,210 - SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEFENDING ME? - YES! 171 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,010 - YOU, TALKING UP MY GOOD POINTS? 172 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,880 - WELL, YEAH, I WILL LATER. 173 00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:08,880 RIGHT NOW I'M REALLY ENJOYING 174 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:12,420 THIS KIND OF APPRAISAL OF YOUR LITTLE IDIOSYNCRASIES, 175 00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:15,020 YOU KNOW, THE THINGS THAT I HAVE GROWN TO KNOW 176 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:16,520 AND LOVE ABOUT YOU. 177 00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:18,290 - YEAH, WELL, THE CRACKS-- THAT'S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN. 178 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,190 - MORE PIMM'S, ANYONE? 179 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,490 - OH, YEAH, HIT ME WITH THAT. 180 00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:23,560 YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT AN ACT-- THIS WHOLE THING. 181 00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:26,030 I'M--I'M VERY SENSITIVE TO THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF WOMEN. 182 00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,360 I LISTEN TO THEM. I'M AWARE OF THAT SHIT. 183 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,730 - OKAY, YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. - YEAH, THANK YOU. 184 00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:33,140 - IN HIS DEFENSE, I MUST SAY THAT HE PAID ME 185 00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,070 TONS OF SPECIAL ATTENTION IN CLASS. 186 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,240 - NOT SPECIAL. 187 00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,640 - NO, JACKIE. HE DID NOT. 188 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,710 - JACKIE'S WRITING'S ACTUALLY VERY GOOD. 189 00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:42,550 I-I READ SOME OF HER SHORT STORIES, DARLING. 190 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:44,250 - YOU HAVE. - YEAH, SURE I HAVE. 191 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,820 I HAD TO WRITE HER A RECOMMENDATION 192 00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:47,250 TO THE GRADUATE WRITING PROGRAM. 193 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:48,750 SHE COULDN'T VERY WELL ASK YOU. 194 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:51,090 - HEY, WHEN IS LUNCHEON GONNA BE SERVED? 195 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,760 THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE, RIGHT? 196 00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:54,090 AND I'M CURIOUS. 197 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,260 I WANT TO KNOW HOW IT'S DIFFERENT FROM ACTUAL LUNCH. 198 00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:59,830 - WELL, WE HAVE ONE LAST GUEST, WHO'S A LATE ARRIVAL. 199 00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,330 OH, HERE'S THE LATECOMER NOW. 200 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,670 - IT'S NOT A LADY. PLEASE SAY NOT A LADY. 201 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,400 - MM... - OH, MY-- 202 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,370 IS THAT RICHARD BATES? 203 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,410 - YEAH, RICHARD BATES, CRACK THE SKY, YOU KNOW HIM? 204 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,840 - KNOW HIM? - YEAH. 205 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,540 - KAREN, IS THAT YOU? 206 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:15,850 - RICHARD. 207 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,780 - OH, MY GOD, YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. 208 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:21,150 - EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT EXACTLY? 209 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,150 - I MEAN, EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL. - MY GOD. 210 00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:25,490 - I CAN PICTURE YOU RIGHT NOW STANDING UNDER THE ARCH 211 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,290 IN WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK, WIND BLOWING YOUR HAIR. 212 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,460 - AND YOU BLOWING ME OFF, YOU ASSHOLE. 213 00:08:30,490 --> 00:08:32,660 - OH, ASSHOLE-- I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING, 214 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,460 HIM BEING AN ASSHOLE AND ALL, 215 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,570 BUT YOU WANT TO FILL ME IN ON THE--THE REST OF THIS SHIT? 216 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,340 - OH, MY G--YOU GAVE ME A "C." - OH, PLEASE. 217 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:41,070 - I MEAN, LIKE, WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR PROFESSOR, 218 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,740 ISN'T THAT, LIKE, YOU'RE MEANT TO GET A "B"? 219 00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:46,140 - HEY, WHAT, YOU SLEPT WITH HIM? 220 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,410 THE GLORIOUS "MANGINA" HERE? 221 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,280 - THIS IS MY PROFESSOR THAT I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH 222 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:50,480 AS AN UNDERGRADUATE. 223 00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:52,850 I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S, LIKE, 100 YEARS AGO. 224 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,380 - YOU KNOW, IT FEELS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY. 225 00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:56,550 - WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 226 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:58,720 - GOD, YOU LOOK GREAT. - THANK YOU. 227 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,960 WELL, YOU'RE NOT WITH BUSH LEAGUE HERE, ARE YOU? 228 00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:02,230 - OH-- - FUCK, YEAH, SHE...IS. 229 00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,800 - WELL, KIND OF. - REALLY? 230 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:07,600 - WHAT? 231 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,130 NO, DO--DON'T KEEP SECRETS FROM THE REST OF THE CLASS. 232 00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:12,140 - YOU PLANTED THE SEED-- THAT WRITER THING, 233 00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,400 MY ATTRACTION TO WRITERS. 234 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,910 - OH, HEY, HEY, HEY. HAVE A DRINK. 235 00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:18,240 - [laughs] 236 00:09:18,270 --> 00:09:20,610 - HOW'D YOU SNAG HER, ANYWAY-- 237 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,710 THE OLD "I'M AN AGENT" SPIEL? 238 00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:25,650 - HEY, IT'S NOT A SPIEL. I'M AN AGENT. 239 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,150 SHE HAS A DREAM, SHE'S A WAITRESS. 240 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,190 - IN YOUR LANGUAGE, WAITRESS MEANS STRIPPER. 241 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:31,350 SHE'S A STRIPPER. 242 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,560 - NO, NO, NO. 243 00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:34,760 SHE IS A COCKTAIL WAITRESS WITH A SCREENPLAY. 244 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,790 - [snorts] - OKAY, OKAY. 245 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,630 AN IDEA FOR A SCREENPLAY. 246 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,660 STILL, I SEE POTENTIAL, AND I JUST-- 247 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,200 - OH, PLEASE. YOU SEE BLOW JOB. 248 00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:46,670 - DO I DETECT A NOTE OF JEALOUSY? 249 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,470 - MM. 250 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,140 LIKE I COULD BE JEALOUS OF A FOOD-SERVICE PROFESSIONAL 251 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,780 WITH AN IDEA FOR A SCREENPLAY 252 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,940 AND HER BOOBS. 253 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,150 - [laughs] YOU ARE. 254 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,310 MARCY RUNKLE IS JEALOUS. 255 00:09:58,350 --> 00:09:59,980 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY. 256 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:01,850 - EH. GO WITH GOD. 257 00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:04,320 I GOT MINE. IT'S ONLY RIGHT YOU GET YOURS. 258 00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:08,020 - HEY, MARCY, I HAVE SAID ALL ALONG 259 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,530 I STILL LOVE YOU. 260 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,260 - IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, CHARLIE. 261 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,700 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 262 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:15,530 - IT'S OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND. 263 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:17,370 SEE MARCY, WANT MARCY. 264 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,900 NO SEE MARCY, WANT BOOBIES. 265 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,340 [cell phone ringtone plays Jessie's Girl] 266 00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,470 - REALLY? STILL? 267 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:27,140 - JESUS FUCK, I FORGOT TO CHANGE MY RINGTONE. 268 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,310 - PLEASE ALLOW ME. 269 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:31,210 EAT MY BENT WANG, RICK SPRINGFIELD. 270 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,720 - WAIT, GET THAT. IT'S SHARON. 271 00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:34,750 - OH. 272 00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:37,220 - SHARON. 273 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,690 MM-HMM. 274 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,190 YOU'RE SHITTING ME. 275 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:41,590 YEAH. 276 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:44,790 [cell phone beeps] 277 00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:45,960 WE HAVE AN OFFER. 278 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,930 - OH! 279 00:10:48,970 --> 00:10:50,430 - WHERE WERE YOU OFF TO WHEN YOU DUMPED ME? 280 00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,430 WAS IT NEPAL? 281 00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:53,840 - IT WAS EGYPT. 282 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,110 YOU KNOW, I ETCHED YOUR NAME IN STONE 283 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:57,410 ATOP THE PYRAMID AT GIZA. 284 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,740 - I WISH THAT WERE TRUE. - BULLSHIT! 285 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:00,880 - [laughs] - JESUS CHRIST. 286 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,480 STAYING HOME IS VERY NICE TOO. 287 00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,010 IT'S COZY. 288 00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:05,950 YOU DON'T NEED A PASSPORT, NO SHOTS. 289 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,180 - SO OVERALL YOU WOULD RECOMMEND 290 00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,750 THE EXPERIENCE OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR TEACHER? 291 00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:11,490 - YOU SEE THAT? YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE GONE AND DONE? 292 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,990 YOU'VE SET A BAD EXAMPLE, WOMAN. 293 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,260 - YOU WERE JUST SO SEXY. 294 00:11:14,290 --> 00:11:15,860 - YOU KNOW, I CAN'T EXACTLY BE JUDGMENTAL, 295 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,660 BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I MET CHELSEA'S FATHER. 296 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,330 I WAS IN GRADUATE SCHOOL, 297 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,370 AND I TOOK ONE OF HIS RIDICULOUS CIVIL WAR CLASSES. 298 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,500 LOVED TO TEACH, 299 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:26,340 YOU KNOW, SO PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT HE WAS DOING. 300 00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:27,340 - THAT'S IT. 301 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:28,840 YOU WERE SO PASSIONATE. 302 00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:30,570 THAT--THAT'S WHAT TURNS ME ON. 303 00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:33,080 I JUST--THE PASSION... - YES, BUT THAT KIND OF PASSION, 304 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,510 THAT BURNS YOU OUT. 305 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:37,010 THAT KIND OF INTENSITY, NO BUENO. 306 00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:38,920 - LOOK AT HIM. HE'S NOT BURNT OUT. 307 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,220 - THE MAN HAD A SERIOUS BREAKDOWN RECENTLY. 308 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:45,290 PUBLIC NUDITY AND SINGING. 309 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,690 SMUGGLING DR. JOHNSON. 310 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,390 - OH, MY POOR LOVE. I'M SO SORRY. 311 00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:50,430 - DON'T BE. 312 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,900 TRUTHFULLY, IT WAS THE BEST THING 313 00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,400 THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME IN YEARS. 314 00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:55,230 FOR A MAN TO BE JUST BROKEN DOWN 315 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:58,300 TO HIS MOST NAKED, MOST VULNERABLE SELF. 316 00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:00,000 - MM-HMM. 317 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,070 - JUST STRIPPED OF ALL IRONY, ALL VANITY. 318 00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:03,710 I MEAN, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN 319 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,740 SO DEEPLY IN TOUCH WITH MY FEMININE SIDE. 320 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:07,940 - OH, MY GOD, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 321 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:09,480 - NO, IT WASN'T. IT WAS QUEER. 322 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:12,220 A-AND NOT QUEER AS IN GAY-- IT WAS QUEER AS IN ODD. 323 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,880 DOWNRIGHT LUNATIC, AS A MATTER OF FACT. 324 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,620 AND I HAD TO STEP IN FOR HIM AT THAT POINT 325 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,120 WITH MY PASSION, MY INTENSITY, 326 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,290 'CAUSE I'M ALL ABOUT THAT STUFF. 327 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,760 - YEAH, THE GUY WHO ONCE FELL ASLEEP 328 00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,730 DURING HIS OWN LECTURE. - ONE TIME-- 329 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:25,960 I DID THAT ONE TIME. 330 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,960 I WAS BORING MYSELF, AND I THOUGHT 331 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,700 IT WAS AN HONEST REACTION TO ACTUALLY FALL ASLEEP. 332 00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:32,070 - WELL, MOODY, WORD ON THE STREET 333 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,800 IS YOU COULDN'T TEACH YOUR WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG. 334 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,740 - WHERE'D YOU HEAR THAT? 335 00:12:35,770 --> 00:12:37,510 - OH, I MAY HAVE LOBBED A FEW RANDOM EMAILS 336 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,670 HERE AND THERE. 337 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,440 - MOODY! 338 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,610 [slams door] 339 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,810 - THAT SOUNDS LIKE STACY. THAT'S ODD. 340 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:47,280 - JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED! 341 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,780 [laughter] 342 00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:50,090 - OH, DEAR. 343 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,360 - LADIES. 344 00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:54,190 MOODY. 345 00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,960 I DEMAND SATISFACTION. 346 00:12:56,990 --> 00:13:00,630 - WELL, GENERAL SHERMAN, NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US. 347 00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:02,600 - WILLIAM TECUMSEH SHERMAN, NO. 348 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,930 YET ANOTHER SIGN OF YOUR BLAZING IGNORANCE. 349 00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:07,770 NO, MAJOR GENERAL GEORGE HENRY THOMAS, 350 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,610 ROCK OF CHICKAMAUGA. - OH. 351 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,140 - WELL, PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE. 352 00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:13,840 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO SHAKE YOUR HAND 353 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,250 OR TO-- YOUR SWORD OR-- 354 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,880 - THE DAY OF RECKONING IS AT HAND. 355 00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:19,780 IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO ANSWER FOR YOUR SINS. 356 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,220 YOU AND I WILL DUEL ON THIS FINE DAY... 357 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,250 LIKE MEN! 358 00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:26,460 - AH. MEN OF WHAT CENTURY? 359 00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:28,390 - DEAR GOD, HE'S COMPLETELY BLOTTO. 360 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,260 - HOW CAN YOU TELL? 361 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,260 - HE MUST HAVE GONE OUT DRINKING WITH THOSE REENACTMENT PEOPLE. 362 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,560 - YOU MOCK ME? - GUILTY. 363 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,830 - I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL, AND THIS IS HOW YOU RESPOND? 364 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:38,770 - PERSONALLY, I LOVE A GOOD DUEL. 365 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,770 [laughs] - BATES! 366 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,610 YOU'RE BACK AND LOOKING GOOD. 367 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,740 LET'S GO, MOODY. YOU'VE DEFILED MY WIFE. 368 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,580 YOU'VE BROUGHT DISHONOR TO THIS HOUSE, 369 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,180 THE UNIVERSITY. 370 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,310 I'LL STAND FOR IT NO MORE. 371 00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:54,420 AND GET YOUR FILTHY CAR OUT OF MY DRIVEWAY. 372 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:55,450 - STACY. 373 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,150 STACY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO REST UP. 374 00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:58,960 HANK DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY THESE GAMES. 375 00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:00,190 - NO, HANK DON'T WANT TO PLAY. 376 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,690 - THEY ALWAYS LOSE, YOU SEE. 377 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,560 THE UNION ARMY GETS DEFEATED AT THE BATTLE OF CHICKAMAUGA, 378 00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:04,890 AND THEN THEY GO OUT DRINKING. 379 00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:06,400 - HE HELD UNTIL NIGHTFALL, 380 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,900 PREVENTING AN EVEN GREATER UNION DEFEAT. 381 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,770 HOW? BECAUSE GENERAL THOMAS 382 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,700 REFUSED TO SURRENDER HORSESHOE RIDGE. 383 00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,670 WAS HE THE FLASHIEST CIVIL WAR GENERAL? 384 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,510 NO. 385 00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:18,410 DID HE IMPRESS THE LADIES? 386 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,510 HMM? 387 00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,040 WAS HE A HIGHLY FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC 388 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,410 LIKE ULYSSES S. GRANT? 389 00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,510 MAYBE. 390 00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:27,680 - [chuckles] 391 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,990 - YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PLAY ALONG WITH HIM. 392 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:31,150 - WHAT? 393 00:14:31,190 --> 00:14:33,660 AND LET HIM BUST CIVIL WAR-ERA CAP IN MY ASS? 394 00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:34,860 I DON'T THINK SO. 395 00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:36,390 - NO, NO, NO, NO, THEY'RE HARMLESS. 396 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,230 THEY'RE--THEY'RE JUST BLANKS. YOU WON'T FEEL ANYTHING. 397 00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,330 - [laughs] YES! 398 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,530 - GENERAL? 399 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,530 - I'LL BE WAITING IN THE FIELD OF VALOR. 400 00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:48,540 FOR LOVE AND HONOR! 401 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:50,210 - IT'S REALLY QUITE FUN. 402 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,680 - [laughs] 403 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:55,880 - WE'RE GONNA SELL THIS HOUSE. 404 00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:58,180 TO MOVING ON. 405 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,350 - AND TO MY FAVORITE ROOMMATE. 406 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:01,780 - AW. 407 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,520 AND JUST THINK, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ROOMMATES ANYMORE. 408 00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:06,360 YOU CAN FUCK WHOEVER YOU WANT, 409 00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:07,890 HOWEVER YOU WANT. - WHOO! 410 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,860 - COWGIRL, REVERSE COWGIRL, DOWNWARD FACING DOG, 411 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,130 WHATEVS. 412 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,730 - I THINK THAT'S A YOGA TERM. 413 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,470 - IT IS BOTH A SEX TERM AND A YOGA TERM. 414 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,970 I LEARNED THAT FROM RICK SPRINGFIELD. 415 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,940 - PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ANY MORE. 416 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,140 - THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. 417 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,640 I FUCK WHO I WANT, YOU FUCK WHO YOU WANT, 418 00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:27,180 AND WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS THE DETAILS. 419 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:28,640 I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ALL YOUR SHIT 420 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,980 ABOUT YOUR PIECES OF CLASS UP THE ASS. 421 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,080 - YOU KNOW, NOT TO GO BACK ON THIS, 422 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,320 BUT YOU ACTUALLY DID OFFER ME THE ASS ONE TIME, 423 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,350 RIGHT HERE IN THIS VERY LIVING ROOM. 424 00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:38,720 - WHAT WAS I THINKING? 425 00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,020 DR. DREW SAYS YOU COULD GET 426 00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,960 A PROLAPSED ANUS FROM THAT SHIT. 427 00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:43,030 - OOH. 428 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:45,060 - ONCE YOU HIT 80, YOUR ASS IS LIKE, 429 00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:47,200 "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT IN THE POOPER THAT ONE TIME? 430 00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,870 NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CARRY ME AROUND WITH YOU ALL DAY." 431 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:53,070 - OH, OH, OH. AND RIGHT OVER HERE, HUH? 432 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,070 THE YEAR THAT I GOT THAT UTK BONUS, REMEMBER? 433 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:58,170 I CAME IN. I BENT YOU OVER THE COUCH AND-- 434 00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:00,680 - AND GAVE ME THE WORST BACK PAIN I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED. 435 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,610 - HA HA! 436 00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:04,450 - FOR YEARS, I HAD A MAN WHO LIKED TO TAKE IT 437 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,250 OUT OF THE COMFORTABLE BEDROOM, TAKE IT ON THE ROAD. 438 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,750 GREAT. - [chuckles] THAT'S RIGHT. 439 00:16:09,790 --> 00:16:12,120 WOW. 440 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,020 WE REALLY HAVE HUMPED ALL OVER THIS HOUSE, HAVEN'T WE? 441 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,790 - REMEMBER THE KITCHEN-COUNTER ENCOUNTER? 442 00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:19,430 - BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. - NOT MINE. 443 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:22,930 DAYS LATER, I WAS STILL FINDING CRUMBS IN MY FOLDS. 444 00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:24,670 - WHAT ABOUT THE POWDER ROOM? 445 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,700 - WE NEVER DID IT THERE. - THAT'S TRUE. 446 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,210 THERE'S ONE ROOM IN THIS HOUSE 447 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,570 THAT WAS SPARED OUR UNHOLY ALLIANCE. 448 00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:32,810 OKAY, LET'S GO. 449 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,510 LET'S GO, COME ON, COME ON. - WHERE? WHAT? 450 00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,450 - WE CAN'T LEAVE ONE ROOM UNINITIATED. 451 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,680 - CHARLIE, WE'RE MOVING ON. 452 00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:39,080 - WE CANNOT LEAVE THAT ROOM PRISTINE, 453 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,950 BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A TRAGEDY, AND THIS IS A HAPPY DAY. 454 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:41,950 LET'S GO. - WHAT? 455 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,450 - YOU MOVE IT, SCHOOLGIRL. - NO. 456 00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:44,820 - YOU--COME ON, LET'S GO. LET'S GO. 457 00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:46,160 - NO, YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 458 00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:47,760 - DADDY'S COMING, YAH-HAH! 459 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:49,360 - YOU SURE THESE AREN'T ACTUALLY LOADED? 460 00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:51,160 - OH, JUST PICK ONE, MOODY. 461 00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:53,160 - SO TEN PACES AND THEN TURN? 462 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,600 - I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE EVER MET 463 00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,170 A BIGGER PUSSY IN MY LIFE. 464 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,230 YOU SLEPT WITH THE MAN'S WIFE, DIDN'T YOU? 465 00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:00,100 THE CODE OF HONOR DEMANDS IT. 466 00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,000 - WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HONOR, 467 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,510 YOU NUMB NUTS? - SILENCE. 468 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,570 I'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT FILTHY TALK ON THIS FIELD OF VALOR. 469 00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,340 - MY BAD. 470 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:08,640 - THIS IS QUITE FUN, CHELS, ISN'T IT? 471 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,080 REMINDS ME OF THE GOOD OLD DAYS 472 00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,610 WHEN WE USED TO FOLLOW YOUR FATHER AROUND 473 00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:13,080 FROM BATTLEFIELD TO BATTLEFIELD. 474 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,180 - LADIES... - SHH. 475 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:17,650 - COME ON. - START YOUR EGOS. 476 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,630 OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, MOODY, STOP FUCKING AROUND. 477 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,060 COME ON! 478 00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,960 - HUH! 479 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:28,730 - COME ON, LET'S DO THIS THING. 480 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,330 - COME ON. - COME ON, LET'S GO. 481 00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:32,030 - THERE, STAND THERE. 482 00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:33,500 - I HOPE DAD SHOOTS HIM RIGHT IN BETWEEN THE EYES. 483 00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,400 - COME ON, MOODY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE. 484 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,440 - I'LL LET THAT SLIDE SINCE THIS ISN'T A REAL DUEL. 485 00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:42,650 - ONE, TWO, FIVE, SIX... 486 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,610 NINE, TEN. 487 00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:46,220 [gun clicks] [Felicia yelps] 488 00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:48,380 - OH, DAMN IT TO HELL. 489 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,490 WELL, MOODY, TAKE YOUR SHOT. 490 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,290 - WAIT, YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT YOU? 491 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,860 NAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M GOOD. 492 00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:56,390 [gun clicks] UGH. 493 00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:58,360 - MOODY, I DEMAND THAT YOU SHOOT ME. 494 00:17:58,390 --> 00:17:59,400 - OH, NO CAN DO. 495 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,200 THIS WHOLE THING IS WAY TOO GAY FOR ME. 496 00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:02,930 - HOLD ON A SECOND. [gun clicks] 497 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:05,830 YOU FUCKED THE MAN'S WIFE, AND NOW YOU REFUSE TO SHOOT HIM? 498 00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:07,970 - YOU KNOW SOMETHING, IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU-- 499 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,070 - AAAH! 500 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,980 - IS THIS WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? 501 00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:17,480 - COOL DOWN, GIRLS. 502 00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:19,150 - AHH. 503 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,150 - AHH. 504 00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:22,890 - WELL, I GUESS I DESERVED THAT. 505 00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:27,460 - I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE. 506 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:28,490 - NO BIGGIE. 507 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,190 - NO, IT WAS UNGENTLEMANLY OF ME. 508 00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:34,600 THE PURPOSE OF A DUEL IS TO FIGHT WITH HONOR 509 00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:36,000 AND DECORUM. 510 00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:38,530 - OOH. [laughs] 511 00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:41,200 NICE ONE, DEAN. THAT WAS-- 512 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,710 - OH, YOU LIKED THAT, HUH? - YES, I DID. 513 00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:45,710 - WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU OFFEND MY HONOR. 514 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,510 YOU OFFEND MY LADY'S HONOR. 515 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,580 - YOUR LADY? 516 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,610 ARE YOU SO SURE SHE'S REALLY YOURS? 517 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:53,180 SHIT, MOODY, YOU COULDN'T OWN A WOMAN LIKE THAT. 518 00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,280 CHRIST, I STILL REMEMBER THE SOUND 519 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,220 OF HER APPROACHING CLIMAX-- 520 00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,560 FUCKING CHOIR OF ANGELS. 521 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:02,020 - OOH! 522 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,990 [all grunting] 523 00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:06,630 - THAT'S MY ASS! 524 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:10,300 - I CAN'T TELL IF THEY'RE JOKING OR NOT. 525 00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:12,600 - [shouting indistinctly] 526 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:13,970 GOT HIM! 527 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,340 - OH, GOD, I THINK THEY'RE ACTUALLY FIGHTING. 528 00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:18,310 - CAN I TAKE YOU UP ON THAT DRINK? 529 00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:19,310 [laughs] 530 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,040 - [laughing] 531 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,750 - [moaning] - [growling] 532 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:26,620 - FUCK YOUR PUSSY. FUCK YOUR PUSSY. 533 00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:27,720 - FUCK MY PUSSY? 534 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,720 OR YOUR PUSSY IS MY PUSSY, OR-- 535 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,920 - SHUT UP AND POUND ME. - OKAY. 536 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:35,560 [both grunting] 537 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,630 [loud crash] 538 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:38,990 - OH, SHIT! OW! OH, MY BACK. 539 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,700 OH! - HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK! 540 00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,570 - OW. HELP, HELP. 541 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,200 - WHY DID I LET YOU SIT ON THE SINK? 542 00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,000 THE CHICK IS SUPPOSED TO SIT ON THE SINK. 543 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,040 THAT'S BATHROOM BONING 101! 544 00:19:49,070 --> 00:19:51,110 - I CAN'T MOVE, I'M FUCKING DROWNING HERE. 545 00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,080 - YOU'RE DROWNING, REALLY? 546 00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:54,580 - YEAH, A PERSON CAN DROWN IN THIS AMOUNT OF WATER 547 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,740 IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES. 548 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:58,310 - OH, GOD. - OH, OW! 549 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,620 OW! - OKAY, YOU BIG BABY. 550 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,750 - OKAY. OW, OH! 551 00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:03,990 - GET OVER HERE. - OH. 552 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,490 OKAY. 553 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,060 OKAY, CLIMBING THE TOILET BOWL. 554 00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,430 - OH, FUCK. 555 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:12,530 - WE'RE ALMOST HOME. - SIT, SIT. 556 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,230 - [groaning] 557 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,260 - WAIT. 558 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,730 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? 559 00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:20,400 YOU HAD MY NAME TATTOOED ABOVE YOUR ASS CRACK? 560 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,740 - OH, JESUS, I WAS DRUNK. 561 00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,670 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER GETTING IT DONE. 562 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:24,840 - [gasps] CHARLIE. 563 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:26,640 - WHAT? I'M GETTING IT REMOVED. I AM. 564 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,140 - NO, YOU'RE NOT. - WHAT? 565 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,510 YOU LIKE IT? 566 00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:32,680 - NO, I DON'T LIKE IT. IT'S FUCKING RETARDED. 567 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,920 - OW. 568 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,590 - RETARDED AND SWEET... 569 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,090 JUST LIKE YOU, RUNKLE. 570 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,390 - OW. OW. 571 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,990 OW. 572 00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:47,000 - I GUESS I'D BETTER TAKE MY WALKING WOUNDED HOME, RIGHT? 573 00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:50,370 THAT'S IF HE EVER COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM. 574 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,970 ARE YOU--ARE YOU OKAY 575 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,100 WITH, UH, BECCA SPENDING THE NIGHT? 576 00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:55,140 - OH, YEAH. 577 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,640 YEAH, OF COURSE. IT'S NO PROBLEM. 578 00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:57,810 YOU KNOW, IT'S NICE FOR THE GIRLS 579 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,080 TO SPEND ONE LAST SLEEPOVER TOGETHER 580 00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:02,140 BEFORE BECCA LEAVES FOR NEW YORK. 581 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,180 - RIGHT. 582 00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:04,710 - GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, BY THE WAY. 583 00:21:04,750 --> 00:21:06,650 - THANK YOU. 584 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:07,920 [toilet flushing] 585 00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:09,520 ARE YOU ALWAYS SO CIVILIZED? 586 00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,190 - [laughs] 587 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:12,360 WELL, THE WIFE OF A GENERAL 588 00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:14,120 HAS CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITIES, YOU KNOW? 589 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,960 - OF COURSE. - UH-HUH. 590 00:21:15,990 --> 00:21:18,190 - WELL... 591 00:21:18,230 --> 00:21:20,860 I'LL NEVER BE AS PRETTY AS I ONCE WAS. 592 00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:22,200 AND I'M PEEING BLOOD. 593 00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:24,730 - I GOT MYSELF MORE OF A FOOT SOLDIER-- 594 00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:27,670 SOME CANNON FODDER, REALLY. 595 00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:30,210 - WHAT DID I MISS? 596 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,970 - [laughs] - WHAT DID I MISS? 597 00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:35,380 - AH, LOOK AT THAT. 598 00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:39,720 ONE SEMESTER ENDS, ANOTHER BEGINS. 599 00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:42,050 - YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT? 600 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,890 - WHAT'S THE POINT, YOU KNOW? 601 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,550 NOTHING EVER REALLY CHANGES AROUND HERE. 602 00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:47,320 THAT'S THE BEAUTIFUL THING ABOUT ACADEMIA. 603 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,060 NONE OF US CAN REALLY FUNCTION IN THE REAL WORLD, 604 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:51,790 SO THAT'S WHY WE END UP HERE. 605 00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:53,460 IT SORT OF WORKS FOR EVERYONE, REALLY. 606 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,660 - MM-HMM. 607 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:57,000 - WE CAN'T FUNCTION ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HERE. 608 00:21:57,030 --> 00:21:58,930 - [imitating Felicia] HMM. YOU CAN'T. 609 00:21:58,970 --> 00:22:00,740 NO, YOU CAN'T. - IGNORE HIM. 610 00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:02,670 - WHAT'S HE SAYING? 611 00:22:02,710 --> 00:22:05,510 - OKAY, I'M GONNA GO SAY GOOD NIGHT TO RICHARD. 612 00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:07,680 - NO, YOU CAN'T. 613 00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:09,180 [normal voice] GO. I'M TIMING YOU. 614 00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:11,010 - THANK YOU FOR LUNCH. 615 00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:12,620 - WELL, I HOPE WE DIDN'T GIVE YOU 616 00:22:12,650 --> 00:22:14,020 TOO HARD A TIME OF IT TODAY. 617 00:22:14,050 --> 00:22:15,950 - NO, NO WORRIES. I'M FINE. 618 00:22:15,980 --> 00:22:18,950 MY ASS IS A LITTLE SORE, BUT THAT'S NORMAL FOR ME. 619 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:20,690 - IT'S ALL DONE WITH GREAT AFFECTION. 620 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,660 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SUCH A MESS, AND YOU CAUSE SUCH CHAOS, 621 00:22:22,690 --> 00:22:24,160 BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 622 00:22:24,190 --> 00:22:25,930 - YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? - REALLY, TRULY. 623 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,000 IT WAS A FABULOUS DISASTER. - HMM. 624 00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:30,670 - COME HERE. BE HAPPY IN NEW YORK. 625 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:31,830 - OH, THERE YOU GO. 626 00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:32,900 WHAT ABOUT GENERAL SHERMAN? 627 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:34,040 YOU GONNA LET HIM BACK IN THE HOUSE? 628 00:22:34,070 --> 00:22:35,240 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T, 629 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,840 I THINK HE'S GONNA CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS-- 630 00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:38,110 THE CAVALRY, PERHAPS. 631 00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,680 - MM, HE DOES SEEM VERY DETERMINED. 632 00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:40,680 - YEAH. 633 00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:42,680 PASSIONATE, ONE MIGHT SAY. 634 00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:45,180 - OH, I DO LIKE THAT IN A MAN. 635 00:22:45,210 --> 00:22:48,020 - FELICIA, I'M IN A FEVER! 636 00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:50,020 - I BETTER GO TEND TO THE GENERAL. 637 00:22:50,050 --> 00:22:51,520 TOODLE-LOO. - TOODLE-LOO. 638 00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:53,890 - MY BROW! 639 00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,230 - DID YOU LADIES HAVE FUN 640 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:59,060 TWISTING THE KNIFE THIS AFTERNOON? 641 00:22:59,090 --> 00:23:01,630 - ABSOLUTELY. - TOO MUCH FUN. 642 00:23:01,660 --> 00:23:04,470 - WELL, I'M SO HAPPY THAT I COULD GIVE YOU A REASON 643 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:07,300 TO COME TOGETHER AND BECOME FRIENDS. 644 00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:08,970 - YEAH, WE'RE LIKE BFFs NOW. 645 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,640 SHE'S GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO POLE-DANCE. 646 00:23:10,670 --> 00:23:12,910 - MM, SUCH A CRYING SHAME, HANK. 647 00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:16,080 JUST THINK OF ALL OF THE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES. 648 00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,250 - OW... 649 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,750 [both laugh] 650 00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:22,020 MM-HMM. - MOODY... 651 00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:24,090 IF I HEAR YOU'VE GONE AND BLOWN IT 652 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,750 WITH THIS GORGEOUS FILLY, 653 00:23:25,790 --> 00:23:29,390 I WILL KICK YOUR ASS AND MAKE HER MY QUEEN. 654 00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:31,130 LADIES. - YES. 655 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,260 - TAKE CARE, KAREN. - BYE, HAVE FUN. 656 00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:35,860 - BYE. 657 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,300 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO LOVE THAT GUY. 658 00:23:38,330 --> 00:23:39,970 - YOU'LL GET OVER IT. 659 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,240 COME ON, SOLDIER, LET'S GET YOU HOME. 660 00:23:42,270 --> 00:23:45,810 YOU STILL HAVE BATTLES TO FIGHT, REALMS TO CONQUER. 661 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,810 - THE CHILD-- WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD? 662 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,180 - THE CHILD IS STAYING HERE TONIGHT. 663 00:23:57,350 --> 00:23:59,320 - OH. 664 00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:01,290 OH, WOW. 665 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,590 NO WONDER WE NEVER DID IT IN THE POWDER ROOM, HUH? 666 00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:06,090 THAT WAS--THAT WAS REALLY NOT PLEASANT AT ALL. 667 00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:08,530 - IT WASN'T GREAT. 668 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,670 - I DON'T MEAN THE FIRST PART, OF COURSE. 669 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:11,930 I MEANT THE SECOND PART. 670 00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:13,870 I ENJOYED THE SHIT OUT OF HUMPING YOU AT FIRST. 671 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,200 - YEAH, WELL, WE COULD SLEEP 672 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,710 KNOWING WE GAVE THE NEXT HOMEOWNERS 673 00:24:16,740 --> 00:24:18,870 A DIRTY SINK AND A PLUMBING PROBLEM. 674 00:24:18,910 --> 00:24:21,280 [both mimicking laughter] 675 00:24:23,710 --> 00:24:25,850 HOLY SHIT. - MM? 676 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,050 - THEY CAME-- 677 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,890 THE DIVORCE PAPERS. 678 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,560 - WHOA. 679 00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:36,830 - BIG DAY, CHARLIE-- SIGNING TIME. 680 00:24:36,860 --> 00:24:38,790 - WELL, I-I CAN'T MOVE. 681 00:24:38,830 --> 00:24:40,530 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BRING ME A PEN. 682 00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:45,530 - [sighs] 683 00:24:45,570 --> 00:24:47,440 [clears throat] 684 00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:52,010 - HEY, HOW WAS THE FIRST PART FOR YOU, MARCE, HMM? 685 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,280 YOU NEVER SAID. 686 00:24:53,310 --> 00:24:55,440 - WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, CHARLIE? 687 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,780 THE FIRST PART WITH YOU WAS GREAT. 688 00:24:57,810 --> 00:25:00,320 IT'S THE LAST PART THAT ENDED IN DISASTER. 689 00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:03,390 - YEAH, YEAH, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO, YOU KNOW? 690 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,690 BECAUSE WE COULD KEEP GOING, RIGHT? 691 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,690 YOU KNOW, WE--WE TURN THE LAST PART 692 00:25:09,730 --> 00:25:11,090 INTO THE MIDDLE PART. 693 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:14,300 - AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET TO THE NEXT SHITTY PART? 694 00:25:14,330 --> 00:25:16,900 - THERE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SHITTY PART. 695 00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:19,500 - BABY... 696 00:25:19,530 --> 00:25:23,210 THERE'S ALWAYS A SHITTY PART WITH US. 697 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,380 - [grunting] OW. 698 00:25:34,380 --> 00:25:35,450 HEY. 699 00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:52,800 - [sniffles] 700 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:57,410 - I APPRECIATE THE INTEREST, I REALLY DO. 701 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,510 - YOU DO? - YES, I'M JUST-- 702 00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:01,440 I'M JUST NOT SURE 703 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,810 I'M IN THE MOODY. 704 00:26:04,850 --> 00:26:06,310 - OH, NO. 705 00:26:06,350 --> 00:26:09,020 BUT I AM. I--I REALLY AM. 706 00:26:09,050 --> 00:26:10,650 I MEAN, TODAY WAS SO EXCITING. 707 00:26:10,690 --> 00:26:12,760 I COULD, LIKE, TOTALLY JUST, LIKE, 708 00:26:12,790 --> 00:26:15,260 CARRY ON FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF THIS MORNING. 709 00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:18,090 MY MIND AND MY BODY ARE TOTALLY IN SYNC. 710 00:26:18,130 --> 00:26:19,800 - I'M NOT SURE 711 00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,300 THAT I LIKE THE IMPLICATION OF THAT. 712 00:26:22,330 --> 00:26:26,130 - WHAT? IT'S VERY SEXY FOR A MAN TO FIGHT FOR YOUR HONOR. 713 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:27,300 - IS IT ALSO VERY SEXY 714 00:26:27,340 --> 00:26:28,970 TO RUN INTO SOME OLD GEEZER YOU LET BONE YOU 715 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,270 WHEN YOU WERE 19 YEARS OLD? 716 00:26:30,310 --> 00:26:31,640 - WELL, YOU KNOW, IT JUST REMINDED ME 717 00:26:31,670 --> 00:26:33,110 OF BEING BACK AT COLLEGE AGAIN, 718 00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:35,910 WHEN LIFE WAS SO SIMPLE, AND HE WAS SO-- 719 00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:39,050 - HE WAS SO PASSIONATE, SO FULL OF ENTHUSIASM. 720 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,980 I KNOW, I KNOW. 721 00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:43,090 - HE WAS SO BIG, ACTUALLY. 722 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,990 - OH, GROSS. 723 00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:48,490 - I MEAN, NOT THAT THAT MATTERS OR ANYTHING, BUT, UM... 724 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,560 WELL, YOU KNOW, RIGHT? YOU SAW. 725 00:26:50,590 --> 00:26:51,860 - I SAW NOTHING. - THE WHOLE DEAL. 726 00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:54,460 - AS FAR AS I KNOW, THE MAN IS A HERMAPHRODITE. 727 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,360 - REALLY? GOD, HE WAS-- 728 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,200 HE WAS, LIKE, THE HOTTEST ASSISTANT PROFESSOR 729 00:26:59,230 --> 00:27:00,540 ON THE CAMPUS. 730 00:27:00,570 --> 00:27:02,500 EVERYBODY WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HIM. 731 00:27:02,540 --> 00:27:03,640 MY FRIENDS WERE SO JEALOUS. 732 00:27:03,670 --> 00:27:05,940 ONE TIME WE WERE DOING IT IN HIS OFFICE, 733 00:27:05,970 --> 00:27:08,280 AND THERE WAS, LIKE, THIS LINE DOWN THE HALL-- 734 00:27:08,310 --> 00:27:09,480 - OKAY, THAT'S IT. 735 00:27:09,510 --> 00:27:13,220 I DEMAND SATISFACTION. - YES, YES, IT WORKED! 736 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,050 GOOD. MM. ARE YOU GONNA PUNISH ME? 737 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,420 - YOU DO KNOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO LIVE 738 00:27:17,450 --> 00:27:19,320 WITH THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 739 00:27:19,350 --> 00:27:20,860 - I KNOW. 740 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,760 - I'M JUST NOT SURE THAT MY MIND AND MY BODY 741 00:27:25,790 --> 00:27:27,760 ARE IN SYNC EITHER. 742 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,600 YOU KNOW, THE--THE EVENTS OF THE DAY, 743 00:27:29,630 --> 00:27:32,270 ALL THIS FUN YOU'VE HAD, IT'S BRUISED MY MIND. 744 00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:33,600 IT'S TRAUMATIZED ME. 745 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,110 IT MAY VERY WELL UNDERMINE MY ABILITY TO PLEASE YOU. 746 00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:38,870 - REALLY? 747 00:27:38,910 --> 00:27:41,780 - NO, NOT REALLY. 748 00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:44,810 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 53030

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