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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:11,060 PREVIOUSLY ON "CALIFORNICATION"... 2 00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:13,830 NO KISS? I'M DONE WITH THAT. 3 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:15,170 YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,800 HAVE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY LITTLE SMURF. 5 00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:18,270 BI-CURIOUS, ARE WE? 6 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,640 HE STARTED IT SPANKING HIS ASSISTANT. 7 00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:22,170 IT WAS VERY SWEET, ACTUALLY. 8 00:00:22,210 --> 00:00:23,670 I WANT TO LEARN FROM YOU. 9 00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:25,740 I WANT TO BE AN AGENT. I SEE. 10 00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:28,250 FIRST, YOU SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY MY MARRIAGE... 11 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,850 I KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING, CHARLIE. 12 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,450 ...AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO HELP WITH YOUR CAREER. 13 00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,780 I DON'T THINK YOU HEARD ME. I WROTE SOMETHING. 14 00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:36,820 HANK WROTE A NEW BOOK? CAN I READ IT? 15 00:00:36,850 --> 00:00:38,260 I DON'T THINK THAT'S APPROPRIATE. 16 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:39,860 Dani: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH? 17 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,860 I WROTE THIS NOVEL, AND I WAS JUST WONDERING 18 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:44,130 IF CHARLIE WOULD READ IT. WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 19 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,330 A 16-YEAR-OLD GIRL FUCKS A MUCH, MUCH OLDER MAN 20 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,430 AND FINDS HERSELF 21 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,170 BOTH SPIRITUALLY AND SEXUALLY AWAKENED. 22 00:00:49,630 --> 00:00:51,170 OHH! 23 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,370 DAD, ARE YOU OKAY? 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,540 NO... 25 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:56,410 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 26 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,570 THIS BOOK IS GONNA BE HUGE. 27 00:00:57,610 --> 00:00:59,880 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? ARE YOU HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS? 28 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:02,310 ARE YOU QUESTIONING THINGS? I QUESTION EVERYTHING. 29 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:03,750 IT'S VERY HEALTHY. IT IS VERY HEALTHY. 30 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:06,220 I JUST THINK YOU CAN'T RUN OFF AND MARRY A GUY 31 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:09,220 AFTER MAKING SWEET LOVE TO YOURS TRULY. 32 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:12,090 WE HAD WOMEN THAT LOVED US FOR WHO WE WERE, AND WE FUCKED IT UP. 33 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,860 AIN'T LIFE FUCKIN' GRAND? 34 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,810 YOWSA. 35 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,810 HEY. 36 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,610 YOU LOOK GREAT, MOM. 37 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:37,350 OH, THANK YOU, SWEETIE. 38 00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:39,420 I GUESS YOU'RE GOING WITH A MORE LIBERAL INTERPRETATION 39 00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:41,290 OF THE WHOLE "WHITE WEDDING" CONCEPT, ARE YOU? 40 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,620 DO YOU THINK I COULD GO BRALESS -- 41 00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:44,290 OOH. SORRY. 42 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,790 DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A GENTLEMAN IN OUR PRESENCE. 43 00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:48,390 WELL, ONLY IF YOU GO WITH A MORE LIBERAL INTERPRETATION 44 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,930 OF THE WHOLE "GENTLEMAN" CONCEPT. 45 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,090 OUCH. 46 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:53,930 YOU KNOW, AS EXCITING AS IT IS TO BE BEHIND THE SCENES 47 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,230 IN THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM RIGHT BEFORE THE BIG GAME, 48 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:57,800 I THINK I'M GOING TO TAKE MY LEAVE. 49 00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,500 [ CAR ALARM ACTIVATES ] OH, SHIT. 50 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,340 I THINK MY DAD'S COMING. WHAT?! 51 00:02:01,370 --> 00:02:03,540 HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING RACQUETBALL. 52 00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:05,280 YES, BY ALL MEANS, GET THAT THING OFF. 53 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:07,740 THE GROOM SHOULD NOT SEE YOU IN THE DRESS 54 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,450 JUST BEFORE THE WEDDING -- THAT'S BAD LUCK. 55 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,680 WHAT'S WORSE LUCK IS GETTING MARRIED ITSELF. 56 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,550 SHUT UP. 57 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:14,520 IT'S LIKE TWO OUT OF THREE OF THOSE 58 00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:15,690 END IN DIVORCE. 59 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,820 SOMETIMES MORE -- THREE OUT OF TWO. 60 00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:20,260 BILL. HANK. 61 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,760 YOU LOOK LOVELY. THANK YOU. 62 00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,300 A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE COMING FROM YOU. 63 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:27,760 YOU KNOW WHAT? OATMEAL. 64 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,830 THANK YOU, DADDY. 65 00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:30,830 YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE DRESS KAREN HAD ON JUST NOW. 66 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:33,370 SHE HAD THE -- I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE, HERE -- MM. 67 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,700 CUT IT OUT. AND THEN THE BACK... 68 00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:36,310 RRRAH! 69 00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,710 HEY. YOU'RE HOME EARLY. 70 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,840 WELL, I PLAYED HARRY GREENBERG. I BAGELED HIM. 71 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:41,850 AH, IRONICALLY. 72 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:42,880 YOU KNOW WHAT? 73 00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:45,280 ONE DAY, YOU AND ME, BILL TILDEN. MANO A MANO. 74 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,420 WE'RE GONNA PLAY THE REAL TENNIS. 75 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:49,350 NOT THAT SISSY KIND. WE'RE GOING '70s STYLE. 76 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:51,220 WE'RE PLAYING WOODEN RACKETS, KNEE SOCKS. 77 00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:52,420 PLUM SMUGGLERS. WE DO IT. 78 00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:53,890 BUT NOT TODAY BECAUSE I GOTTA GO. 79 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:54,890 DAD. 80 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,560 YES. YOU CAN'T. REMEMBER? 81 00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,560 N-- WHAT? 82 00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:58,960 I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU... 83 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,230 AND MOM. 84 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:01,730 REALLY? WHAT ABOUT, SWEETIE? 85 00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,500 FAMILY STUFF. 86 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:07,570 WELL, WE'RE A FAMILY. OR WE WILL BE VERY SOON, RIGHT? 87 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,440 SO I SHOULD SAY WHAT I FEEL? NO MATTER WHAT? 88 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,710 ABSOLUTELY. YES. 89 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:12,610 ALWAYS. 90 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,910 I WANT TO LIVE WITH DAD. 91 00:03:17,410 --> 00:03:19,550 I'LL STILL VISIT AND STUFF. 92 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:20,480 I JUST... 93 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,320 I WANT TO LIVE MOST OF THE TIME WITH DAD. 94 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,460 IT'S THE FIRST I'VE HEARD OF THIS. 95 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,990 KAREN. KAREN. 96 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:29,430 KAREN! 97 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:30,160 KAREN! 98 00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:33,030 HEY, BECCA, HAVE YOU, UM... 99 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,700 HAVE YOU THOUGHT THIS THROUGH? 100 00:03:34,730 --> 00:03:36,470 I MEAN, HAVE YOU -- BECCA. 101 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:37,630 SHIT. BECCA! 102 00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:39,640 BECCA. 103 00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:40,800 BILL. 104 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:41,940 BILL. 105 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,840 THEN THERE WERE TWO. YEAH. 106 00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:47,740 I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP GETTING OUT OF THIS DRESS. 107 00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:50,510 OOH. AND THEN THERE WAS ONE. 108 00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,000 THANK YOU. SURE. 109 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,940 UNCLE RUNKLE. 110 00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:50,740 SORRY I'M LATE. I JUST, UH... 111 00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:51,840 YOU JUST WHAT? 112 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,910 NAH. THAT'S ALL I GOT. 113 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,580 I DO HAVE SOME NEWS, THOUGH. 114 00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:58,580 AH! DELIGHT ME. 115 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,920 BECCA'S MOVING BACK IN WITH ME. 116 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:01,990 MMM! 117 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,850 NO SHIT. YEAH. 118 00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,890 POOR KAREN. SHE MUST BE -- DEVASTATED. 119 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,460 THAT'S BRUTAL. 120 00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:09,460 MM, IT IS. THE GOOD NEWS IS, THOUGH, 121 00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:11,660 THAT AS OF TODAY YOU AND YOUR EXTENSIVE PORN COLLECTION 122 00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,030 ARE MOVING IN TO THE FOUR SEASONS. 123 00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,830 FANTASTIC. I BOOKED YOU A ROOM 124 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,370 IN THE "HUSBANDS WHO'VE BEEN KICKED TO THE CURB 125 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,470 BY THEIR DIMINUTIVE LESBIAN WIVES" WING. 126 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,910 THAT'S RIGHT NEXT TO THE "YOUNG ACTRESSES FRESH INTO TOWN" WING. 127 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:22,710 AM I CORRECT? 128 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,710 I DON'T KNOW THE LAYOUT OF THE HOTEL. 129 00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,880 [ LAUGHS ] WELL, UH, THAT IS NEWS. 130 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,480 BOY, UM, I'LL MISS THE CAMARADERIE, 131 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,080 BUT THAT STAIN IN YOUR BEDROOM 132 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:33,020 WAS REALLY STARTING TO UNNERVE ME. 133 00:05:33,050 --> 00:05:35,720 YOU INSPIRED THAT STAIN, YOU CUNNING LINGUIST, YOU. 134 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,450 IT'S A TALENT. JOB WELL DONE. 135 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,560 BBRROOP! BBRROOP! 136 00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:39,890 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 137 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,060 WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM, YOU PERV? 138 00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:43,030 SNOOPING, OF COURSE. 139 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,960 LOOKING FOR SOME FUCKING WORDS I CAN SELL. 140 00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,900 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT SHIT. BY THE WAY, 141 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,500 HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME 142 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,830 BILL'S LITTLE LOLITA OF A DAUGHTER WAS A WRITER? 143 00:05:50,870 --> 00:05:52,700 'CAUSE I DON'T USE THAT TERM LOOSELY. 144 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,100 WRITER. EVERYBODY SAYS THEY'RE A WRITER IN THIS TOWN. 145 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:57,410 I'LL GIVE HER "BUDDING WORDSMITH," MAYBE. 146 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,510 "BUDDING," HUH? 147 00:05:58,540 --> 00:06:00,440 SHE'S FUCKIN' BLOOMED, PAL. 148 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,610 DANI'S DRIPPING WET OVER THIS MANUSCRIPT OF HERS. 149 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,850 IN FACT, SHE INSISTS THAT I PUMP IT, 150 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,550 LAUNCH HER AGENTING CAREER, 151 00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:08,790 OR SHE'S GONNA HIT ME 152 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:11,090 WITH THE MOTHER OF ALL SEXUAL-HARASSMENT SUITS. 153 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,420 OH, CHARLIE, I'M SORRY. 154 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,690 DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ME A FRONT-ROW SEAT TO THE TRIAL? 155 00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:17,860 I'D LIKE TO BE BEHIND YOU IN ALL THE COURTROOM SKETCHES. 156 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:18,930 YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. 157 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,460 WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 158 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,100 YOU FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR ASSISTANT, 159 00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:23,570 YOU'RE GONNA GET SCREWED. 160 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,740 THERE'S ONLY A FEW THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN, 161 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:27,000 ALL OF THEM BAD. 162 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,040 YOU'RE GONNA GET THREATENED, YOU'RE GONNA GET SUED. 163 00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:30,940 YOU CAN GO FOR THE TRIFECTA AND GET DIVORCED. 164 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:32,480 AND YET, DO I GET ANY CREDIT 165 00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:34,010 FOR ALL THE ASSISTANTS I DIDN'T FUCK? 166 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,750 NO, THAT'S AN INJUSTICE. IT IS. 167 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:38,580 I GET NO CREDIT FOR ALL THE DICKS I DO NOT SUCK. 168 00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,490 CHECK, PLEASE. 169 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,750 THEN AGAIN, I DON'T KNOW. 170 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:45,150 IF -- IF MIA TURNS OUT TO REALLY BE TALENTED, 171 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,660 THEN I COULD PUMP THIS TILL I'M BLUE IN THE FACE. 172 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,490 NO HARM NO FOUL. AM I RIGHT THERE? 173 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:52,600 SHE -- SHE MIGHT HAVE SOME TALENT, FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN, 174 00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:53,900 THE LITTLE I HAVE SEEN. 175 00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:55,130 WHAT IS THIS THING ABOUT? 176 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,840 THIS COVERAGE MAKES IT SOUND REALLY FUCKIN' HOT, YOU KNOW? 177 00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,870 THERE'S THIS YOUNG WOMAN WHO'S BANGIN' THIS OLDER GUY, 178 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,510 AND AT ONE POINT, YOU KNOW, SHE -- SHE HAULS OFF 179 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,640 AND JUST PUNCHES HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE. 180 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,150 THAT'S -- THAT'S PRETTY BALLSY RIGHT THERE, RIGHT? 181 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:12,020 I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENS, BUT THAT'S ONE SCENE. 182 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,020 MOTHERFUCKER. 183 00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,050 WHAT? 184 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,790 "FUCKING & PUNCHING." 185 00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:22,730 HMM. 186 00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,930 THIS IS BEYOND BALLSY. 187 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,500 WHERE ARE YOU -- [ CHAIR FALLS ] 188 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:32,840 OKAY, THEN. 189 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,870 [ TIRES SQUEAL ] 190 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:19,920 WHAT THE FUCK? 191 00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:23,290 OH. I GUESS YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME KNOCKING. 192 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,420 NO. NO. 193 00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:27,020 WELL, THAT'S WHY I LET MYSELF IN -- BECAUSE I FIGURED 194 00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,130 YOU'D PROBABLY BE OUT HERE IN THIS GENERAL VICINITY, 195 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,190 UNABLE TO HEAR ME KNOCKING. 196 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:32,960 OUT BY THE POOL, KICKIN' IT, YOU KNOW, AFTER SCHOOL? 197 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,200 RIGHT. WELL, SCHOOL DOESN'T GET OUT TILL 3:00. 198 00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:38,130 YOU NEED TO GET ON TOP OF THAT KIND OF SHIT, HANK. 199 00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:39,670 WOW. IS THAT, LIKE, UNIVERSAL? 200 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:41,610 'CAUSE I WAS OVER AT MIA'S SCHOOL THAT DAY, 201 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,740 AND IT WAS VERY PROGRESSIVE, 202 00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:45,170 LIKE MAYBE THEY DIDN'T ADHERE TO THAT KIND OF STRICT -- 203 00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,140 THERE'S NO ONE HERE. 204 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:48,780 I'M ALL ON MY OWN IN MY BIG, EMPTY HOUSE, 205 00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,980 JUST LIKE I WILL BE WHEN YOU TAKE MY DAUGHTER AWAY FROM ME. 206 00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,980 COME ON, HONEY. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 207 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:54,150 OH, REALLY? 208 00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,620 YOU DIDN'T PUT HER UP TO IT? 209 00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:57,190 NO! OF COURSE NOT. WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 210 00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:58,860 WELL, I DON'T KNOW -- TO EMBARRASS ME. 211 00:08:58,890 --> 00:09:00,760 TO SCORE SOME BIG FUCKING VICTORY OVER BILL. 212 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,930 NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT. YOUR USUAL SHIT. 213 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,030 NO. NO, NO, NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT. 214 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:07,200 WHAT, SO SHE JUST CAME UP WITH IT ALL BY HERSELF, 215 00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:08,330 OUT OF THE BLUE? 216 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,900 THE SYSTEM THAT'S BEEN WORKING FOR US SINCE WE SPLIT UP, 217 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,070 THAT'S NOT WORKING ANYMORE? 218 00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:14,600 "I WANT TO LIVE WITH DAD. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH MOM." 219 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,710 SHE'S A TEENAGER. 220 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:18,010 I THINK THE WORD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS "MERCURIAL." 221 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,940 NO, I'M NOT LOOKING -- UGH! 222 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:22,050 AND I WOULD NEVER FUCK WITH HER HEAD LIKE THAT. 223 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,210 YOURS, YES. 224 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:25,680 I CAN BE A DICK LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. 225 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,720 BUT HERS, NEVER. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. 226 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:29,750 WELL, OKAY. 227 00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:31,350 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OKAY"? 228 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,060 I MEAN, "OKAY, I BELIEVE YOU." 229 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:34,860 BUT IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. 230 00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:36,630 IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER FOR ME. 231 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,630 I KNOW, BUT IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT IN PRACTICAL TERMS, 232 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,900 IT JUST MEANS, LIKE, A COUPLE EXTRA NIGHTS A WEEK, RIGHT? 233 00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,670 I MEAN, IT'S NOT A BIG -- 234 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,900 NO. DON'T, OKAY? DON'T DO THAT. 235 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:47,000 I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY, HANK, OKAY? 236 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:47,940 GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, 237 00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,910 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW! 238 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:58,310 WHERE'S ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE SS? 239 00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:00,050 EXCUSE ME? 240 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,080 DANI. WHERE'S DANI? 241 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,420 SHE'S -- SHE'S IN A MEETING 242 00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,090 WITH, UH, MR. RUNKLE. 243 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,290 AND YOU ARE? GOING IN THERE. 244 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,260 I'M SORRY, SIR. HEY, LOOK AT THE TIME -- 245 00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:09,360 THE BIG HAND SAYS "FUCK" AND THE LITTLE HAND SAYS "OFF." 246 00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:11,060 GOOD THING IT DOESN'T HAVE A SECOND HAND, HUH? 247 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:14,030 ALL RIGHT, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, AND YOU, 248 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,930 AND YOU NEED TO GET OUT, AND YOU... 249 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:19,340 YOU, I DON'T NEED TO TALK TO, BUT I KNOW YOU. 250 00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:21,070 HELLO, VICTORIA. 251 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:22,110 WELL, SO FORMAL. 252 00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:25,440 "TRICKY VICKY" HE USED TO CALL ME BACK IN THE DAY. 253 00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:27,310 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, HANK MOODY? 254 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,910 HAVEN'T YOU OWED ME A BOOK SINCE THE GOOD GUY WAS IN OFFICE? 255 00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:31,920 YEAH, IT'S BEEN SEVEN YEARS, THANKS FOR ASKING. 256 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:34,250 IT'S COMING ALONG SWIMMINGLY. SPELL-CHECKING AS WE SPEAK. 257 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,820 I NEED TO HAVE A CHAT WITH YOU. 258 00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:37,220 I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING. 259 00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,990 I CAN SEE THAT. IT WON'T TAKE LONG. 260 00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:40,420 Charlie: HANK, UH, DO YOU THINK 261 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,060 YOU TWO COULD DO THIS A LITTLE BIT LATER? 262 00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:42,960 LIKE AFTER THE MEETING 263 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,830 THAT VICTORIA FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK FOR? 264 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,460 NO. WE SHOULD STRAIGHTEN IT OUT NOW. 265 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,200 WE HAVE A BUNCH MORE SET UP FOR LATER. 266 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,770 WE DON'T WANT THEM TO STACK UP. 267 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,200 THANK YOU, DANI. I CAN HANDLE THIS. 268 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,470 WELL, HANDLE IT, THEN. 269 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,070 LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A LIVE ONE THERE, RUNKLE. 270 00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,070 [ CHUCKLES UNEASILY ] 271 00:10:57,110 --> 00:10:57,940 HANK, HAVE A SEAT. 272 00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:00,340 WE CAN TALK ABOUT "CHINESE DEMOCRACY" 273 00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,880 AS SOON AS I'M DONE TALKING WITH THE PUBLISHING SENSATION. 274 00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:05,310 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE, BUT THIS YOUNG WOMAN'S WRITTEN 275 00:11:05,350 --> 00:11:06,980 WHAT COULD BE THE BOOK OF THE YEAR. 276 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:07,850 IS THAT RIGHT? 277 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,150 HAVE I EVER BEEN WRONG ABOUT THIS SHIT? 278 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:11,120 IT'S FANTASTIC. 279 00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:13,320 IT'S LIKE YOUR EARLY STUFF. NOT SO JUVENILE. 280 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,060 NOT SO MANY LAME BONER JOKES. 281 00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:18,330 WELL, COINCIDENTALLY, I HAVE A LAME BONER RIGHT NOW. 282 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,930 I HAVE A LAME BONER FOR JUSTICE. 283 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,130 AND IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME A PRIVATE SIDEBAR RIGHT NOW, 284 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:23,800 MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO SAY 285 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:24,900 TO THESE GOOD PEOPLE? 286 00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:28,170 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT MIGHT THEY BE INTERESTED IN HEARING? 287 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,410 COME ON, MIA. JUST -- JUST OUT WITH IT. 288 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,440 UH... 289 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,880 OH...WAIT. 290 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:39,350 I KNOW WHAT I COULD SAY. 291 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:41,320 THANK YOU, HANK. 292 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:44,820 THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME NOTES AND HELPING ME WITH THIS. 293 00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:46,520 IT'S BEEN A DREAM COME TRUE, REALLY, 294 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,460 TO HAVE YOUR FAVORITE WRITER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD 295 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,330 HELP YOU ON YOUR VERY FIRST... 296 00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:52,260 ...NOVEL. 297 00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:54,330 HANK, YOU'RE SO SWEET. 298 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,500 THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO PLAY IT? 299 00:11:56,530 --> 00:11:59,300 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, BLOW YOU, HANK? 300 00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:01,470 I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE UNTOWARD. 301 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,170 OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THE POTTY MOUTH ON THIS ONE. 302 00:12:04,210 --> 00:12:06,040 I LOVE IT. 303 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,080 SHE'D BE GREAT WITH THE PRESS, RIGHT? 304 00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:09,910 LIKE ELIZABETH WURTZEL... WITH TALENT. 305 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,450 OKAY, HANK. LET'S GO, HUH? 306 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,550 WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 307 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,850 WHAT DO YOU HAVE, EPILEPSY, ASPERGER'S, TOURETTE'S? 308 00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:18,490 GOOD TO SEE YOU, HANK. GOOD LUCK WITH THE SPELL-CHECK. 309 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,890 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, CHARLIE. 310 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,890 LATER. LATER. 311 00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:23,860 I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. 312 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,940 YOU CAN'T PACK HER LUNCH FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS. 313 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:37,170 I KNOW. I'M JUST PACKING IT FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 314 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,940 I FIGURED IF I GET ALL THE SANDWICHES IN FOR TOMORROW, 315 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:42,050 THEN, IF HE FORGETS, IT'S OKAY 'CAUSE, LIKE, 316 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,150 SHE HAS SANDWICHES FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. 317 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,850 STOP STRESSING. COME HERE. COME HERE. 318 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:46,850 COME HERE. 319 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,550 [ INHALES DEEPLY ] OKAY. 320 00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,590 OH, IS MIA BACK FROM HER MEETING YET? 321 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:56,490 WHAT MEETING? SHE MET WITH CHARLIE. 322 00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,960 SHE'S TRYING TO GET ONE OF HER STORIES PUBLISHED. 323 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,560 ISN'T THAT GREAT? OH, WOW, YEAH. 324 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,760 YEAH, I HAVEN'T READ IT, 325 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,830 BUT MY FATHER'S INTUITION SAYS IT'S PROBABLY PRETTY SPECIAL. 326 00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,400 YES. YEAH. I'M SURE IT IS. 327 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,840 HAVE YOU, UM, SIGNED THE PAPERS YET? 328 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,480 OH, GOD. NO, HONEY. SORRY. I FORGOT. 329 00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:14,180 I'VE BEEN A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED. 330 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,080 I KNOW. I KNOW. LET'S GO. NO, WE GOT TO GO. 331 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,050 COME ON. COME ON. BUT, BILL... 332 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,620 WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 333 00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:21,280 NAH, THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF. 334 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,950 LOOK, WE HAVE OUR PRENUP, WE HAVE OUR WILLS. 335 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:27,960 DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT BECCA'S TRUST FUND? 336 00:13:27,990 --> 00:13:28,960 YEAH... 337 00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:29,960 NO. 338 00:13:29,990 --> 00:13:32,230 BILL, I DON'T. I DON'T CARE. 339 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:35,330 ALL I CARE ABOUT IS BECCA LEAVING ME. 340 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,400 US. 341 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,640 SHE'S NOT LEAVING US. 342 00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:41,240 YOU KNOW, SHE'S MOVING OUT. 343 00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,370 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE. 344 00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:46,640 [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T TELL WHAT'S WORSE -- 345 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,580 WHETHER SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S RIPPING MY HEART OUT, 346 00:13:49,610 --> 00:13:53,050 OR WHETHER SHE DOES KNOW, BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE JUST DOESN'T CARE. 347 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,620 HONEY, HONEY, IT'S A PHASE. 348 00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,990 SHE SEES MIA ACTING SO INDEPENDENTLY, 349 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:59,360 SHE PROBABLY WANTS TO SEE WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE, 350 00:13:59,390 --> 00:14:02,390 SO SHE'S DOING THE ONLY THING SHE CAN TO ASSERT HERSELF. 351 00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:04,030 WHAT? LIKE GETTING AWAY FROM ME? 352 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,230 LIKE I'M THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST OR SOMETHING? 353 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,230 NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT, TRUST ME. 354 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,230 AS SOON AS HER FATHER LETS HER DOWN, 355 00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:13,240 SHE'LL BE BEGGING YOU TO BRING HER BACK HOME, I PROMISE. 356 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,040 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HANK, HERE. 357 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,940 HOW LONG CAN THAT POSSIBLY TAKE? 358 00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,280 HE'LL PROBABLY DISAPPOINT HER ON THE CAR RIDE HOME 359 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:20,480 AND HAVE TO TURN AROUND. 360 00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:23,350 DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH, 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO WALLOW HERE, OKAY? 361 00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,950 [ INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY ] 362 00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,420 THANK YOU EVER SO KINDLY. 363 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,660 SO YOU HAD YOUR FUN 364 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,930 AND THEN YOU TOLD THEM THE TRUTH, RIGHT? 365 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,160 TOLD THEM WHAT, HANK? 366 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,230 YOU KNOW, I THINK I'D APPRECIATE YOUR PARTICULAR BRAND OF HUMOR 367 00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:45,070 A LOT MORE IF YOU WEREN'T FUCKING AROUND WITH MY LIFE. 368 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,370 AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED AROUND IN MINE AT ALL? 369 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,640 I MEAN, I KNOW, I KNOW -- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 370 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,570 HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN? 371 00:14:51,610 --> 00:14:53,380 THE SIMPLE FACT REMAINS, YOU FUCKED ME 372 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,380 AND YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. 373 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,080 THAT DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH THE LADIES. 374 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:58,250 SO THIS IS YOUR REVENGE? 375 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,450 YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FEMINIST CAPED CRUSADER? 376 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,290 YEAH, WELL, WE ALL PAY FOR OUR SINS SOONER OR LATER, HANK. 377 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,420 THANK YOU. 378 00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:06,160 HOW'D YOU GET AHOLD OF IT? 379 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:09,060 WELL, IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE ALL UNAPPRECIATED AND SHIT, 380 00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:11,030 AND I ASKED KAREN IF I COULD READ IT. 381 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,360 AND SHE SAID "NO." 382 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,460 EXACTLY. 383 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,500 SHE WAS AFRAID THAT I WOULD GET CORRUPTED IN SOME WAY. 384 00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,400 I'M SURE. OH, MAN. 385 00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:21,100 I WONDER WHAT'D SHE THINK IF SHE KNEW I THAT HAD YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH. 386 00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:22,210 BUT I DIGRESS. 387 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,340 ANYWAY, I TOOK IT TO KINKO'S 388 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:26,510 AND SETTLED IN FOR WHAT WAS TRULY A GREAT READ. 389 00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,540 IT'S SO GOOD, HANK. 390 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,550 A REALLY GREAT FIRST DRAFT. 391 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,650 YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT, YOU KNOW. 392 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,120 PEOPLE ARE GONNA RECOGNIZE MY WRITING. 393 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:38,190 NO, SEE, I COVERED MY TRACKS. 394 00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:41,120 I ADDED LITTLE BITS OF ME WHEN I RE-TYPED IT. 395 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,490 IT'S NOT REALLY SO MUCH AN OUTRIGH THEFT AS A MASH-UP. 396 00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:47,660 AN HOMAGE, IF YOU WILL. FROM ME TO YOU. 397 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:51,400 YOU ARE A VERY YOUNG... 398 00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:53,570 SOCIOPATH-IN-TRAINING. 399 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,640 OH, COME ON. 400 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:57,640 THAT'S LIKE SATAN CALLING ONE OF HIS JUNIOR MINIONS 401 00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:58,570 "A BIG MEANIE." 402 00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,610 YES, BUT I NEVER SET OUT TO HURT YOU, MIA. 403 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,750 WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE FOR ME, HUH?! 404 00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:05,510 COLLEGE, GOING TO EUROPE, WORKING AT AN AGENCY, 405 00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,580 A NETWORK, A STUDIO? 406 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:11,120 BLECH! BORING! THIS HAS BEEN FUN. 407 00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:13,390 I NEVER INTENDED TO BE FAMOUS, 408 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:16,060 BUT I DO LIKE BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. 409 00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:18,390 IT FEELS JUST LIKE I THOUGHT IT WOULD -- 410 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,230 TOTALLY FUCKING GREAT. 411 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,530 BUT IT'S GONNA GO AWAY. 412 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:25,570 HMM. 413 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,540 WELL, WE JUST GOT OFFERS 414 00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:32,080 FROM VICTORIA NEWSOME AND LITTLE BROWN, 415 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:33,210 BUT I THINK RANDOM HOUSE 416 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,040 IS GONNA BLOW THEM OUT OF THE WATER. 417 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,050 RANDOM HOUSE? 418 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,750 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE -- 419 00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:40,380 DID I MISS THESE CALLS? I DIDN'T SEE MESSAGES. 420 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:43,420 NO, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS WORTH BOTHERING YOU ABOUT. 421 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,720 SOME KAHLúA WITH YOUR COFFEE? 422 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,720 WE SEEM TO BE ALL OUT OF CHAMPAGNE. 423 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,690 I THINK THE TV PEOPLE DRANK IT ALL 424 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,230 WHEN THEY SOLD "SLUT WARS" INTO SYNDICATION. 425 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,060 NO. NO, THANK YOU 426 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,260 DON'T MIND IF I DO. 427 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,600 IT'S BEEN A GREAT RIDE, CHARLIE RUNKLE. 428 00:16:57,630 --> 00:17:00,270 WE PROVED SEX AND THE WORKPLACE CAN MIX. 429 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,470 WE SUBVERTED SOME DOMINANT PARADIGMS. 430 00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,240 AND FROM A FEMINIST STANDPOINT, 431 00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:06,410 WE'RE ABOUT TO LAUNCH A MAJOR FEMALE WRITER. 432 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,140 SHE WAS GREAT, WASN'T SHE? 433 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,350 I MEAN, SHE WAS POISED, SHE WAS FUNNY... 434 00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,380 SHE HAD THEM EATING OUT OF HER HAND 435 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,680 AND LOOKING UP HER SKIRT AT THE SAME TIME. 436 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,690 YEAH, THAT IS QUITE A FEAT. 437 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,160 THE GIRL'S GONNA SELL FIVE MILLION COPIES 438 00:17:19,190 --> 00:17:21,120 BASED ON THE JACKET PHOTO ALONE. 439 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,290 AND DID YOU SEE HOW COMPLETELY UNFAZED SHE WAS BY HANK? 440 00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,460 I MEAN, NO OFFENSE, HE'S A COOL GUY, 441 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,600 BUT IT WAS KIND OF PATHETIC, RIGHT? 442 00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:30,700 YEAH, UH, DANI, 443 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:33,170 I ACTUALLY HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A HEADACHE, YOU KNOW? 444 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,540 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA LIE DOWN HERE FOR A WHILE. 445 00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:36,540 OKAY. 446 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:39,210 YOU REST, I'LL TAKE THE CALLS. 447 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,430 SO, HERE'S THE LAST OF YOUR T-SHIRTS. 448 00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,870 THANKS. 449 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,770 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS BRING YOUR STUFF HOME, 450 00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:13,540 UM, FOR ME TO WASH ON THE WEEKENDS OR WHENEVER. 451 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,110 I KNOW. 452 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,150 'CAUSE YOUR DAD, UM, YOU KNOW, 453 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,480 HE'LL PROBABLY JUST BUY YOU NEW CLOTHES 454 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,150 WHEN THE OLD ONES GET DIRTY. 455 00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:23,690 THAT WOULD BE HIS SOLUTION -- 456 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,720 MOM, I KNOW. 457 00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:30,230 YOU KNOW. 458 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:32,160 YEAH. 459 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,330 HEY! 460 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:34,500 WOW! 461 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,600 SHIT, YOU'RE NOT TAKING EVERYTHING, ARE YOU? 462 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,570 NO. JUST THE ESSENTIALS. 463 00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:44,940 I'M GONNA LET YOU GUYS -- GIVE HER A HAND, YEAH? 464 00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:46,310 MOM? 465 00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,580 YEAH? 466 00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:48,680 YOU AND ME... 467 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:52,280 I WAS THINKING NEXT SATURDAY WE COULD GO TO THE GETTY. 468 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,780 JUST US. 469 00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:57,550 THAT'D BE GREAT. I'D LOVE THAT, SWEETIE. 470 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,860 [ SIGHS ] AND SO IT BEGINS. 471 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,260 THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT TIME, HMM? 472 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,630 OH, HEY, NOT THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON. 473 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,630 I MIGHT WANT TO BORROW THAT ONE. 474 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,300 IT'S WAY TOO SMALL FOR YOU. 475 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,240 UH, YEAH. THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT. 476 00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:14,500 WHATEVER. 477 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:17,610 HEY, I WAS JUST TEASING. 478 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,810 THAT'S WHAT SISTERS DO, YOU KNOW? 479 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,380 THEY BORROW CLOTHES, TALK ABOUT BOYS, 480 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,610 CONSPIRE AGAINST THE PARENTAL UNITS... 481 00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:25,650 [ CHUCKLES ] 482 00:19:27,450 --> 00:19:30,350 YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT GONNA BE ANY FUN HERE WITHOUT YOU. 483 00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:31,690 WAS IT FUN BEFORE? 484 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:32,820 HMM, TRUE. 485 00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:35,560 BUT, HEY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE THAT PROBLEM ANYMORE 486 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,730 LIVING WITH YOUR DAD. 487 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,660 SURE. IT'LL BE A HOOT. 488 00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:42,230 LIKE TAKING KAFKA TO THE THIRD STREET PROMENADE. 489 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:44,630 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE NOT EVEN EXCITED A LITTLE BIT? 490 00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:45,970 I SUPPOSE. 491 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,440 WELL, SHIT, I WOULD BE STOKED. 492 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:51,240 'CAUSE YOUR DAD, I MEAN, HE'S A RIOT. 493 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:52,710 HE'S TOTALLY AWESOME. 494 00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:55,580 I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE WITH MY DAD BECAUSE IT'S FUN. 495 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:57,710 I'M GOING BECAUSE I HAVE TO. 496 00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,980 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED, 497 00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:02,450 BUT YOUR DAD IS ABOUT TO MARRY MY MOM. 498 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:03,720 YEAH, SO? 499 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,390 SO IT'S REALLY HAPPENING. 500 00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:07,820 HE CAN'T PRETEND ANYMORE THAT IT'S NOT. 501 00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:09,830 AND WHATEVER MIRACULOUS THING 502 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:12,830 HE THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THE WRITING... 503 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:15,430 YOU KNOW, THAT THING HE WROTE BACK HOME IN NEW YORK 504 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:17,770 THAT WAS GOING TO BE THE REDEMPTION OF US ALL? 505 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,600 WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, EITHER. 506 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,570 YEAH, I GUESS NOT. 507 00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:24,510 SO IT'S OFFICIAL. 508 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:26,710 ROCK BOTTOM. 509 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:28,580 THE DEATH OF HOPE. 510 00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:30,910 CAN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE NOW. 511 00:20:30,950 --> 00:20:33,020 THE MAN'S GOT NOTHING. 512 00:20:33,050 --> 00:20:36,420 WELL, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE. 513 00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:39,290 HE'S GOT YOU. 514 00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,790 WE SHOULD ALL BE SO LUCKY. 515 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,880 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 516 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,920 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 517 00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:19,630 LOVED YOUR NEW NOVEL. 518 00:21:24,630 --> 00:21:27,500 I KNEW FROM THE FIRST PAGE. 519 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:31,640 STRANGE, TOO. IT WAS LIKE 1987. 520 00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:33,480 I WENT TO THIS PARTY WITH BRET EASTON ELLIS. 521 00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:35,110 I ASKED HIM WHO THE GOOD YOUNG WRITERS WERE. 522 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:37,350 HE SHOWED ME THAT SHORT STORY OF YOURS. 523 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,350 I HAD THE SAME FEELING WHEN I READ IT. 524 00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:42,350 LIKE THIS PERSON AND I ARE CONNECTED SOMEHOW. 525 00:21:42,390 --> 00:21:44,950 LIKE WE WERE GONNA DO SOMETHING SPECIAL TOGETHER. 526 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:48,560 WELL, I'M JUST OVERJOYED THAT YOU SAW ME IN THERE SOMEWHERE. 527 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:49,990 YOU'RE ALL OVER IT, PAL. 528 00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:51,860 BUT, LISTEN, I GOT TO ASK, 529 00:21:51,890 --> 00:21:54,730 YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU ALWAYS TEND TO WRITE 530 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,400 EXACTLY WHAT YOU KNOW... 531 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:01,870 WHAT'S THE FUCKIN' DEAL? 532 00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:13,120 YOU HAVE DONE SOME FUCKED-UP SHIT IN YOUR TIME, 533 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,780 BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO THAT. 534 00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:17,520 NOT KNOWINGLY. 535 00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:20,460 WHAT, SHE TRICKED YOU INTO IT? I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. 536 00:22:20,490 --> 00:22:22,990 SHE WAS AT A BOOK STORE, AND SHE WAS READING MY BOOK. 537 00:22:23,030 --> 00:22:25,860 YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALWAYS A GREAT CONVERSATION STARTER FOR ME, 538 00:22:25,890 --> 00:22:28,700 AND SHE WAS CUTE AND FLIRTY, I WAS HALF IN THE BAG, ANYWAY. 539 00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:30,600 I WAS JUST RIGHT FOR THAT MOMENT. 540 00:22:30,630 --> 00:22:33,040 THE SELF-LOATHING WAS STRONG IN ME THAT NIGHT. 541 00:22:33,070 --> 00:22:35,140 I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS BILL'S DAUGHTER, 542 00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:37,040 AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS IN COLLEGE. 543 00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:39,610 YOU KNOW, MAYBE OLDER. 544 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,080 I WAS WRONG. 545 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,480 JESUS CHRIST. 546 00:22:43,510 --> 00:22:46,080 HOW'D WE GET OURSELVES INTO THIS ONE? 547 00:22:46,110 --> 00:22:48,020 THANK YOU FOR SAYING "WE." 548 00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:51,520 LOOK, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO DO, YOU KNOW? 549 00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:54,920 I'LL TAKE IT OFF THE COUNTER, YOU -- YOU SAY THE WORD. 550 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,790 ARE THERE OFFERS? 551 00:22:56,830 --> 00:22:57,790 MANY. 552 00:22:57,830 --> 00:22:58,990 WELL, THEN I'M FUCKED. 553 00:22:59,030 --> 00:23:00,100 IF I SAY ANYTHING, 554 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:02,100 IF I DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SHIT, 555 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:04,530 THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO. 556 00:23:04,570 --> 00:23:06,470 THERE'S NO STOPPING HER FROM TELLING KAREN 557 00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,040 OR BILL OR BECCA. 558 00:23:08,070 --> 00:23:10,610 FUCK. THE POLICE. 559 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,580 FUCK THE POLICE. 560 00:23:12,610 --> 00:23:14,610 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 561 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,710 EXPECTING SOMEONE? 562 00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:18,710 [ DOOR OPENS ] 563 00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:23,650 WAIT. 564 00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:26,460 LET ME GET THAT. 565 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,230 GOOD EVENING, LADIES. Karen: HEY. 566 00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:33,530 I SHOULD GET GOING. CALL ME LATER? 567 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,200 I WILL. FOUR SEASONS. 568 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,630 GOOD NIGHT. NIGHT. 569 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,540 [ SMOOCHES ] HMM. 570 00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:44,570 I'M GONNA GO PUT MY STUFF DOWN. 571 00:23:44,610 --> 00:23:45,610 SURE. 572 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:51,250 I'M SORRY. 573 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,680 ABOUT WHAT? 574 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,580 YOU WON. 575 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:59,760 NOT IF YOU'RE THIS UPSET. I DIDN'T WIN A GODDAMN THING. 576 00:23:59,790 --> 00:24:02,490 I HATE SEEING YOU THIS SAD. 577 00:24:02,530 --> 00:24:04,590 EVER. 578 00:24:04,630 --> 00:24:07,000 EXCEPT MAYBE AFTER SEX WITH BILL. 579 00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:09,030 HMM? THAT'S A SMILE. 580 00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:11,900 A SMALL SMILE, BUT A SMILE NONETHELESS. 581 00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:12,970 I'LL TAKE IT. 582 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,770 DON'T WORRY, MOM. I'LL BE FINE. 583 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,570 I KNOW. 584 00:24:16,610 --> 00:24:18,840 AND IT'S NOT YOU I'M WORRIED ABOUT. 585 00:24:18,870 --> 00:24:20,640 Becca: I KNOW. 586 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,710 BUT FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS NOT GOODBYE. 587 00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:25,680 JUST THINK OF IT AS ME ON THE ROAD WITH THE BAND, 588 00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:27,680 PLAYING A FEW OUT-OF-TOWN GIGS. 589 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,190 PLUS, YOU GET A BREAK FROM MY NOISY GUITAR. 590 00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:33,790 YEAH, BUT I LOVE YOUR NOISY GUITAR. 591 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:35,890 I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, "TAKE CARE OF HER," 592 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,660 BUT I THINK SHE'S PROBABLY GONNA TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOU. 593 00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:40,200 I DON'T DISAGREE. 594 00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:43,030 CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, OKAY? 595 00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:45,630 [ Voice breaking ] ANYTHING AT ALL. 596 00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:49,100 I LOVE YOU, HONEY. 597 00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:50,810 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 598 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:54,780 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 599 00:24:54,810 --> 00:24:57,650 SHE'S HIGHLY EMOTIONAL, THAT ONE. 600 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,180 ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE. 601 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,120 Man on television: IN EXCHANGE, THEY'VE GIVEN THEIR WORD 602 00:25:04,150 --> 00:25:07,790 THEY WILL ONLY FIGHT AL-QAEDA. 603 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:10,890 TAKE A PICTURE. IT'LL LAST LONGER. 604 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:12,030 [ GROWLS ] 605 00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:13,200 [ SMOOCHES ] 606 00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:14,630 [ CHUCKLES ] 607 00:25:14,660 --> 00:25:16,630 ARE YOU OKAY? 608 00:25:16,670 --> 00:25:17,830 YOU SEEM DEPRESSED. 609 00:25:17,870 --> 00:25:20,240 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LIKE MORE THAN USUAL? 610 00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:21,300 YES. 611 00:25:21,340 --> 00:25:23,740 I SENSE THESE THINGS. 612 00:25:23,770 --> 00:25:26,310 OH, YEAH? 613 00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:28,080 I'M PEACHY. 614 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,880 TRUST ME. 615 00:25:35,750 --> 00:25:37,750 [ SNORING ] 616 00:25:42,390 --> 00:25:44,590 [ SIGHS ] 617 00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:03,310 HEY, BILL. 618 00:26:03,350 --> 00:26:05,610 HEY, HONEY. BILL? 619 00:26:05,650 --> 00:26:08,050 [ SNORES, GRUNTS SOFTLY ] 620 00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:29,030 [ LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS ] 621 00:27:30,830 --> 00:27:34,000 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 622 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,470 CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY SHOWTIME NETWORKS 623 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,210 AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS 44956

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