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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:44,279 --> 00:02:46,113 Hello? 2 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,196 Hello! 3 00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:46,363 How many times did I have to defend my needs, the ones I neglected all those years. 4 00:03:50,113 --> 00:03:52,071 First to myself... 5 00:03:52,279 --> 00:03:55,738 ...because I thought that no one could deal with it. 6 00:04:01,405 --> 00:04:07,571 I had gotten used to his vanilla sex and assumed it was the standard way. 7 00:04:09,113 --> 00:04:11,405 I thought something was wrong with me... 8 00:04:12,363 --> 00:04:16,279 ...because I was into other things than other people. 9 00:04:34,988 --> 00:04:38,904 I can get ready and make plans... 10 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,363 ...while nobody is looking or asking me why. 11 00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:05,154 If I don't give in to my urges things will just get worse for me. 12 00:05:06,488 --> 00:05:09,405 It will all get more confusing. 13 00:05:49,321 --> 00:05:52,904 I remember the first time I was invited to a party... 14 00:05:57,196 --> 00:06:01,946 It took more time to think up an alibi to get out of the house then the party itself. 15 00:06:14,696 --> 00:06:18,155 The scent of my perfume he knows so well... 16 00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:23,904 Not for him and he wasn't supposed to know. 17 00:06:26,946 --> 00:06:29,196 I lied like a rug. 18 00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,821 That night I was soaring. 19 00:06:35,029 --> 00:06:41,196 I felt such overpowering love for the orgy and all the men who wanted me... 20 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,196 It brought tears to my eyes. 21 00:06:49,196 --> 00:06:54,530 One man even whispered to me: If you want to go, just go. 22 00:06:54,904 --> 00:06:57,654 And he promised to take me home like a gentleman. 23 00:06:57,863 --> 00:07:00,612 Sweet, but unnecessary. 24 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,904 For days I wanted to cry and fuck. 25 00:07:06,654 --> 00:07:10,488 I think I'm good at crying and fucking. 26 00:07:11,238 --> 00:07:14,363 In lying and having a double life. 27 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:21,447 And if you ask me if I want to stop... 28 00:07:23,488 --> 00:07:25,363 Well, no. 29 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,363 Hello! 30 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,779 Let me out! 31 00:10:20,529 --> 00:10:22,322 What time is it? 32 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,654 Still early. 33 00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:38,654 What are you doing? - Come on. 34 00:10:40,404 --> 00:10:41,696 A quicky. 35 00:10:43,071 --> 00:10:44,779 I have to shave. 36 00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:50,071 Another time okay? 37 00:10:59,238 --> 00:11:02,404 Why do you always pick such weird moments? 38 00:11:33,571 --> 00:11:36,362 I hope I'm getting a copy of this? 39 00:12:53,946 --> 00:12:55,404 Hi Gaya. 40 00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,571 No it's fine. 41 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,613 Now? 42 00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:06,738 In the teachers' lounge he sits near me. 43 00:13:08,071 --> 00:13:10,821 He always has coffee with cream... and a cheese sandwich. 44 00:13:12,279 --> 00:13:13,905 He's a math teacher. 45 00:13:13,946 --> 00:13:16,988 He has such lovely eyes, so warm. 46 00:13:17,362 --> 00:13:19,613 And obviously a big slide rule. 47 00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:22,072 Jeez, Stella. 48 00:13:22,155 --> 00:13:25,821 Heck, just go sit across from him next time. 49 00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:28,696 Is he married? - How would I know? 50 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:37,113 Am I the only one here who gets a bit tired of all this adulterous behavior? 51 00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:42,446 Jeez Lau. Let Quinty flirt a bit. What difference does it make? 52 00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:43,780 I wasn't even flirting. 53 00:13:45,613 --> 00:13:48,738 Sweety... go ahead and enjoy it. 54 00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:51,696 What's wrong with a little attention? 55 00:13:58,321 --> 00:14:00,321 What choices are you planning to make? 56 00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,988 Choices, that's when you lose friends and family. 57 00:14:06,863 --> 00:14:09,404 Yes, I understand what you mean, but put that aside for now. 58 00:14:11,237 --> 00:14:14,321 Well, I would like... 59 00:14:15,529 --> 00:14:19,905 ...to be liked. I want to be able to share without being attached. 60 00:14:45,072 --> 00:14:47,780 Let me out of here! 61 00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:14,905 That conflict. I'd just had my first one night stand and I was chatting online... 62 00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:21,947 But with each sound I went offline because I was terrified to get caught. 63 00:15:22,196 --> 00:15:27,404 That Vincent would know. Even when I was making small talk. 64 00:15:29,738 --> 00:15:34,947 Yet a week later I was off fucking my brains out in a hotel room. 65 00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:39,905 So something overcame my fear of getting caught. 66 00:15:40,863 --> 00:15:44,529 Maybe the fear is not about your husband or over loss. 67 00:15:45,571 --> 00:15:50,613 Well what then? I was terrified that Vincent would find out. 68 00:15:51,237 --> 00:15:54,529 Because he'd figure out what you're doing... what you are. 69 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,112 Yes. 70 00:15:58,363 --> 00:16:03,321 Maybe you were afraid of recognizing it yourself? What you're doing. 71 00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:53,863 You're home early. 72 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,111 I don't know what to say. 73 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,446 Sweetie... 74 00:17:12,321 --> 00:17:17,530 I really want to promise you that this won't happen again and that I'll change... 75 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,488 But I can't. 76 00:17:22,404 --> 00:17:24,363 Fuck you Stella! 77 00:17:24,947 --> 00:17:27,363 What am I supposed to do? 78 00:17:29,112 --> 00:17:31,863 Pretend to be someone else? Ignore my feelings? 79 00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:35,947 How about taking my feelings into account. We swore to be faithful remember? 80 00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:39,822 Sweetie, I am faithful to you. 81 00:17:40,321 --> 00:17:45,404 I'm faithful in sharing my vulnerabilities and my fears and my secrets. 82 00:17:47,446 --> 00:17:49,905 Apparently not all your secrets. 83 00:17:50,238 --> 00:17:52,696 No. Not all of them. 84 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,738 You don't even look at me anymore. 85 00:18:01,571 --> 00:18:04,029 Not the way you used to. 86 00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:10,029 How long has it been since we fucked? 87 00:18:10,113 --> 00:18:13,113 I mean really fucked? 88 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:17,780 I feel like a caged bird. 89 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,905 So that's it? 90 00:19:12,946 --> 00:19:14,780 Hey! 91 00:19:49,113 --> 00:19:51,029 Goddammit you asshole. 92 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:34,613 Let me out Goddammit! 93 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,321 Will you guys go to that opening next week? Otherwise I'll die of boredom. 94 00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:04,321 Sure, as long as there are drinks. - The other girls will come too. 95 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:06,488 All our events are catered. 96 00:21:07,238 --> 00:21:09,988 Good concept. Eating and doing business. 97 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,904 What's the main attraction? 98 00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:16,238 What's the punishment for dropping your bread? 99 00:21:17,571 --> 00:21:19,571 Caning is so ancient Rome. 100 00:21:23,196 --> 00:21:24,196 His jacket? 101 00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:27,946 We have the Lady of Mogilev. - Can you believe it? 102 00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,363 It's an icon from Russia. 103 00:21:30,737 --> 00:21:33,697 For years it was collecting dust in moldy storage rooms... 104 00:21:34,029 --> 00:21:36,988 ...and they had no money to restore the museums. 105 00:21:37,821 --> 00:21:41,071 Since the Wall fell, they were allowed to sell. 106 00:21:41,154 --> 00:21:44,363 Did you know the virgin Mary was the most popular in Russian art? 107 00:21:44,405 --> 00:21:47,029 What's with that worship of virgins? 108 00:21:47,613 --> 00:21:50,238 You can't worship an Icon. You can honor it. 109 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,904 I didn't know you were in to art? 110 00:21:54,321 --> 00:21:58,821 They say that when an Icon stops being honored, the gold begins to peel off. 111 00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:04,572 Are you sure? 112 00:22:05,029 --> 00:22:06,446 Yes. 113 00:22:07,321 --> 00:22:09,530 You are the only ones I thought of. 114 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:15,113 The tension is killing Luca. I've never seen him so nervous. 115 00:22:16,321 --> 00:22:17,530 And what about you? 116 00:22:18,029 --> 00:22:19,655 Scared to death. 117 00:22:20,113 --> 00:22:21,737 And excited! 118 00:22:23,904 --> 00:22:25,530 So what's next? 119 00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,071 Well it's regular sauna. We'll get used to each other... 120 00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:34,113 ...and take it from there. 121 00:22:35,446 --> 00:22:38,904 I won't force it. Our friendship is too important. 122 00:22:49,113 --> 00:22:50,655 Thanks. 123 00:24:42,821 --> 00:24:45,280 I'm sorry but I can't do this. 124 00:24:51,863 --> 00:24:54,612 I'm so sorry. 125 00:25:04,030 --> 00:25:05,738 That's a real shame. 126 00:25:20,405 --> 00:25:22,571 When did you first feel caged? 127 00:25:22,863 --> 00:25:28,779 When I realized that Vincent wasn't the man I thought he was. 128 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:33,863 He'd fallen from his pedestal. 129 00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:37,821 That sounds harsh. I don't mean it that way. 130 00:25:39,322 --> 00:25:42,779 But it made me think... 131 00:25:43,113 --> 00:25:45,696 ...and it stirred up something in me. 132 00:25:47,030 --> 00:25:48,405 It was... 133 00:25:49,113 --> 00:25:51,571 Something warm from deep in my belly... 134 00:25:51,863 --> 00:25:55,612 And spreading lower. I mean really physical. 135 00:25:56,696 --> 00:26:01,571 And I couldn't resist it or apologize for it. This literally happened. 136 00:30:48,571 --> 00:30:50,155 Who are you? 137 00:30:53,237 --> 00:30:54,821 Christine. 138 00:30:55,738 --> 00:30:57,321 I'm Stella. 139 00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:02,946 Could you tell who brought you here? Did you see him? 140 00:31:06,696 --> 00:31:08,571 I was in my car. 141 00:31:09,279 --> 00:31:11,488 I got out in front of my house... 142 00:31:16,946 --> 00:31:19,279 And after that I can't remember anything. 143 00:31:22,196 --> 00:31:23,571 Hello? 144 00:31:23,821 --> 00:31:25,404 That's useless. 145 00:31:27,154 --> 00:31:28,738 Who's doing this? 146 00:31:29,279 --> 00:31:30,863 No idea. 147 00:31:31,571 --> 00:31:33,154 I've got no idea. 148 00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:37,154 We need to find a way to get out of here. 149 00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:46,030 Maybe it's some kind of joke. 150 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,696 A joke? - Yes. Maybe? 151 00:31:50,279 --> 00:31:53,404 I've been here five days already. This is definitely not a joke. 152 00:31:54,905 --> 00:31:56,112 Five? 153 00:32:24,488 --> 00:32:25,988 We need to wait. 154 00:32:26,529 --> 00:32:28,655 Wait for the right moment. 155 00:32:58,321 --> 00:33:00,446 We need to sleep in shifts. 156 00:33:02,905 --> 00:33:06,112 Last time he grabbed me in my sleep. I don't want that to happen again. 157 00:33:15,238 --> 00:33:16,404 Wait! 158 00:33:16,905 --> 00:33:18,404 Holy shit! 159 00:33:32,696 --> 00:33:34,571 You've got a cell phone? 160 00:33:44,488 --> 00:33:46,363 Fuck. - What? 161 00:33:46,947 --> 00:33:48,821 No signal of course. 162 00:34:17,612 --> 00:34:20,029 Of course he knew this would happen. 163 00:34:21,112 --> 00:34:24,822 He's mind fucking me. - Please stop swearing. 164 00:34:29,029 --> 00:34:30,655 I'm so wound up. 165 00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:34,863 I couldn't possibly sleep right now. 166 00:34:38,154 --> 00:34:39,822 Go ahead and sleep. 167 00:34:40,822 --> 00:34:43,571 If something happens you'd be the first to know. 168 00:34:54,696 --> 00:34:56,363 My English sucks. 169 00:35:09,530 --> 00:35:10,696 Fuck. 170 00:35:11,363 --> 00:35:13,279 I do talk a little Dutch. 171 00:35:16,404 --> 00:35:19,446 My brother in law has just come over from Russia. 172 00:35:21,071 --> 00:35:24,405 My wife's lived here for years. Every year he comes to visit. 173 00:35:24,738 --> 00:35:27,071 We thought this would be a fun night out. 174 00:35:33,696 --> 00:35:36,029 And you? Are you here with your husband? 175 00:35:37,238 --> 00:35:40,904 If I was I wouldn't be standing here talking to you. 176 00:35:41,321 --> 00:35:44,154 Oh? What's wrong with a little friendly conversation? 177 00:35:44,238 --> 00:35:46,530 Nothing at all. 178 00:35:46,946 --> 00:35:49,238 But try explaining that to my husband. 179 00:35:49,446 --> 00:35:51,363 Yeah, and my wife. 180 00:35:52,154 --> 00:35:54,071 Where is she anyway? 181 00:35:54,321 --> 00:35:58,530 Why do we need permission from others when things feel right? 182 00:36:01,113 --> 00:36:03,571 But that ends right here. 183 00:36:47,279 --> 00:36:49,113 You want it all. 184 00:36:49,363 --> 00:36:52,862 You want love and attention from one person... 185 00:36:53,154 --> 00:36:56,655 ...and sex and adventures with all the others. 186 00:36:57,363 --> 00:37:00,154 Is that so bad? Wicked? 187 00:37:01,196 --> 00:37:04,488 Am I a bad and wicked woman and am I doomed? 188 00:37:04,655 --> 00:37:07,862 No, no. I'm not judging. 189 00:37:08,071 --> 00:37:10,530 I'm just observing. 190 00:37:11,613 --> 00:37:13,655 Maybe I'm too greedy. 191 00:37:14,988 --> 00:37:18,488 If I make love with someone I care about, then I make love with him. 192 00:37:19,196 --> 00:37:22,697 If I have sex with a stranger I have sex with myself. 193 00:37:24,321 --> 00:37:29,571 I use my body. I feel everything and I conquer myself. 194 00:37:31,446 --> 00:37:35,530 My libaration is part sexual... 195 00:37:35,738 --> 00:37:38,571 ...but is not just sex. 196 00:37:39,655 --> 00:37:42,488 It was like taking off a straitjacket. 197 00:37:43,988 --> 00:37:45,405 And when it came off... 198 00:37:45,988 --> 00:37:49,280 ...instead a frightened girl a strong woman appeared. 199 00:37:49,821 --> 00:37:52,446 A complete metamorphosis. 200 00:38:01,154 --> 00:38:03,113 Christine? 201 00:38:08,738 --> 00:38:10,697 Christine! 202 00:38:14,613 --> 00:38:16,697 Goddammit! 203 00:38:19,363 --> 00:38:21,862 Asshole. Son of a bitch! 204 00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:45,238 I've been thinking. 205 00:38:49,071 --> 00:38:53,655 I called John and I can stay with him for a while. 206 00:41:26,196 --> 00:41:27,196 I... 207 00:41:28,196 --> 00:41:30,821 I noticed you on the SDD site. 208 00:41:32,696 --> 00:41:33,696 SDD? 209 00:41:35,029 --> 00:41:37,904 Nice photos. Nice profile. 210 00:41:41,654 --> 00:41:44,988 How did you see the pictures. You have to be a paying member... 211 00:41:45,488 --> 00:41:46,529 Yep. 212 00:41:48,738 --> 00:41:49,779 True. 213 00:41:50,321 --> 00:41:52,363 Et tu Judy? 214 00:41:56,238 --> 00:41:58,280 What's your name on SDD? 215 00:41:59,155 --> 00:42:00,821 Madelief 69. 216 00:42:02,238 --> 00:42:04,280 Not the year you're born is it? 217 00:42:08,196 --> 00:42:10,654 I'd be fun to get together sometime. 218 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,946 Who knows? 219 00:42:15,405 --> 00:42:17,738 Judy, can you come in for a moment. 220 00:42:36,946 --> 00:42:39,280 Have a good weekend. See you on Monday. 221 00:42:40,405 --> 00:42:43,571 Could you turn all the lights off when you leave and don't forget the alarm. 222 00:42:43,779 --> 00:42:46,405 Will do. Have a good weekend. 223 00:42:59,196 --> 00:43:01,821 I've been thinking of you all day. 224 00:43:03,863 --> 00:43:05,613 And I want to confess something. 225 00:43:07,363 --> 00:43:08,363 Oh? 226 00:43:11,322 --> 00:43:13,946 I am a member of the site... 227 00:43:15,196 --> 00:43:17,405 ...but I've never been to a club before. 228 00:43:18,322 --> 00:43:20,529 You want me to take you with me sometime? 229 00:43:22,738 --> 00:43:23,904 Yes. 230 00:43:24,238 --> 00:43:26,446 I don't know if that's such a good idea. 231 00:43:28,654 --> 00:43:31,405 We have to see each other every day at work. 232 00:43:40,363 --> 00:43:42,738 Am I attractive enough? 233 00:43:43,779 --> 00:43:45,863 You are a beautiful woman. 234 00:43:46,654 --> 00:43:48,196 That's not the problem. 235 00:43:50,322 --> 00:43:52,404 Nobody has to know. 236 00:43:54,529 --> 00:43:56,071 I mean... 237 00:43:56,363 --> 00:43:59,071 ...who would I tell anyway? 238 00:44:57,404 --> 00:45:00,113 I slept great. 239 00:45:02,155 --> 00:45:04,238 Not quite enough of course. 240 00:45:06,654 --> 00:45:08,155 Come... 241 00:45:09,488 --> 00:45:10,988 No. 242 00:45:14,197 --> 00:45:15,696 Is something wrong? 243 00:45:19,613 --> 00:45:21,863 No, but I think you should go. 244 00:45:22,030 --> 00:45:23,613 Jeez... 245 00:45:24,238 --> 00:45:26,488 Can I have a minute to wake up? 246 00:45:26,905 --> 00:45:28,155 Of course. 247 00:45:32,946 --> 00:45:35,197 The coffee is ready downstairs. 248 00:45:39,613 --> 00:45:41,529 Where do you want this to go? 249 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,821 To go? 250 00:45:45,446 --> 00:45:47,362 With our relationship? 251 00:46:04,321 --> 00:46:07,113 Stella? Get in here! 252 00:46:08,238 --> 00:46:09,863 Of course. 253 00:46:15,988 --> 00:46:18,780 And shut that door. 254 00:47:10,321 --> 00:47:13,113 It's okay. You're back. 255 00:47:32,780 --> 00:47:33,946 It's okay. 256 00:47:34,780 --> 00:47:38,113 I'm fine. I'm fine. 257 00:47:41,196 --> 00:47:42,821 Just one more minute. 258 00:47:50,363 --> 00:47:51,988 He made me come. 259 00:47:53,488 --> 00:47:55,113 I didn't want to. 260 00:47:57,446 --> 00:47:59,072 I just... 261 00:48:00,363 --> 00:48:01,988 ...stopped resisting. 262 00:48:07,154 --> 00:48:08,780 Goddamit. 263 00:48:11,154 --> 00:48:12,780 Oh, I'm sorry. 264 00:48:20,154 --> 00:48:23,404 And now all I can think about is those stupid magazine surveys. 265 00:48:25,030 --> 00:48:28,279 "What's the most exciting place you did it?" 266 00:49:23,030 --> 00:49:24,655 No! 267 00:49:33,863 --> 00:49:35,488 Are you okay? 268 00:49:37,488 --> 00:49:39,112 No one is coming to help us. 269 00:49:40,071 --> 00:49:41,696 What? 270 00:49:43,655 --> 00:49:45,279 Why would you think that? 271 00:49:47,071 --> 00:49:49,196 My husband is definitely looking for me. 272 00:49:55,905 --> 00:49:58,029 What's your husband's name? 273 00:49:59,530 --> 00:50:01,112 Vincent. 274 00:50:01,905 --> 00:50:04,029 And he doesn't miss you? 275 00:50:05,196 --> 00:50:06,571 No. 276 00:50:07,655 --> 00:50:09,780 I don't think so, no. 277 00:50:10,238 --> 00:50:14,613 Why is that? You've been gone for days already. 278 00:50:17,530 --> 00:50:21,905 Things aren't going so great between us. He's staying with a friend. 279 00:50:26,279 --> 00:50:28,029 Is he with someone else? 280 00:50:28,738 --> 00:50:30,112 No. 281 00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:32,988 Are you? 282 00:50:34,029 --> 00:50:35,404 No. 283 00:50:36,196 --> 00:50:37,571 Not really. 284 00:50:39,404 --> 00:50:40,780 Not really? 285 00:50:44,279 --> 00:50:47,446 Not with any ONE. It's a long story. 286 00:50:54,488 --> 00:50:56,738 Is that why you broke up? 287 00:50:57,571 --> 00:51:00,238 What? - Well what you just said. 288 00:51:01,238 --> 00:51:03,154 Not any ONE. 289 00:51:04,196 --> 00:51:06,238 You have lots of lovers? 290 00:51:07,112 --> 00:51:09,780 Lovers is a big word. 291 00:51:12,196 --> 00:51:13,822 Don't you feel guilty? 292 00:51:15,780 --> 00:51:18,613 There's nothing I can do about it. I sure have tried. 293 00:51:20,488 --> 00:51:22,196 I couldn't do that. 294 00:51:23,238 --> 00:51:27,404 Let's talk about something else. How do we get out of here for example. 295 00:51:27,655 --> 00:51:29,363 What do you suggest? 296 00:51:31,238 --> 00:51:34,154 We need to make sure that he's alone. - Excuse me? 297 00:51:35,946 --> 00:51:39,363 I think he's not alone. - Why would you think that? 298 00:51:41,238 --> 00:51:43,196 Just a feeling. 299 00:57:43,071 --> 00:57:44,280 Are you okay? 300 00:57:47,071 --> 00:57:48,779 Yeah, I think so. 301 00:57:51,863 --> 00:57:53,612 I put your clothes on for you. 302 00:57:54,988 --> 00:57:56,863 You were pretty out of it. 303 00:57:57,029 --> 00:57:58,946 He slipped me something. 304 00:58:00,612 --> 00:58:01,738 What? 305 00:58:02,696 --> 00:58:05,405 No idea. It looked like G. 306 00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:07,405 G? 307 00:58:08,612 --> 00:58:11,113 GHB. The drug. 308 00:58:13,029 --> 00:58:15,530 How would you know? 309 00:58:31,863 --> 00:58:32,779 Hey... 310 00:58:36,612 --> 00:58:39,113 He said that I'm here because of you. 311 00:58:39,863 --> 00:58:41,488 Did he say something to you? 312 00:58:43,155 --> 00:58:44,280 Yes. 313 00:58:45,988 --> 00:58:48,696 He said: if you're wondering you're here... 314 00:58:48,821 --> 00:58:51,155 ...try asking your little friend. 315 00:58:54,529 --> 00:58:57,238 If he doesn't talk to me it must mean I know him. 316 00:59:00,529 --> 00:59:03,322 Can you think where you've been lately? 317 00:59:05,196 --> 00:59:07,904 He's afraid I'll recognize him. 318 00:59:10,155 --> 00:59:11,654 Think. 319 00:59:13,863 --> 00:59:15,904 Maybe one of your dates? 320 00:59:18,821 --> 00:59:22,571 How many men have you fucked lately? And then dumped? 321 00:59:23,363 --> 00:59:24,238 My God. 322 00:59:28,322 --> 00:59:31,155 Sure, now God is there to help you. 323 00:59:31,738 --> 00:59:33,238 Think! 324 00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:38,571 Have you made enemies somewhere? Do you have stalkers? 325 00:59:39,821 --> 00:59:41,322 Think! 326 00:59:50,571 --> 00:59:52,405 You here? - Yes. 327 00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:55,863 How's work? 328 00:59:57,071 --> 00:59:58,654 I miss you. 329 01:00:03,529 --> 01:00:08,738 It's not that I regret what we did, but I think it's best if we leave it be. 330 01:00:10,238 --> 01:00:13,030 Just take some time to think about it. 331 01:00:14,113 --> 01:00:16,904 Well I don't think... - Now that Vincent's gone... 332 01:00:17,571 --> 01:00:20,363 ...I wanted to ask you if I could come by tonight. 333 01:00:21,404 --> 01:00:23,529 I don't think that's a good idea. 334 01:00:25,946 --> 01:00:28,738 You can't just use me like this. - Excuse me? 335 01:00:29,863 --> 01:00:34,196 Why don't you answer my text messages? - Judy, let's not make... 336 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,446 You used me and dumped me. 337 01:00:37,487 --> 01:00:40,738 If you really want to talk about it, can we please do this somewhere else? 338 01:00:40,821 --> 01:00:44,071 You really hurt me. - Right. 339 01:00:44,738 --> 01:00:47,196 I'm on my way to a birthday party. 340 01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:56,363 Goddamit. 341 01:00:57,155 --> 01:00:58,779 What? 342 01:00:58,863 --> 01:01:00,487 He took my wedding ring. 343 01:01:00,654 --> 01:01:03,113 I have people who care about me bitch! 344 01:01:03,322 --> 01:01:06,446 And now there's a man molesting me because you've something to hide. 345 01:01:06,571 --> 01:01:08,197 Stop it! 346 01:01:08,362 --> 01:01:10,654 Do you think I want this? 347 01:01:20,071 --> 01:01:21,696 This is what he wants. 348 01:01:23,238 --> 01:01:26,487 He wants a front row seat for seeing how we tear each other apart. 349 01:01:26,571 --> 01:01:29,113 You have to tell me more. 350 01:01:33,946 --> 01:01:35,571 I beg you. 351 01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:42,238 I don't think you want to hear these things. 352 01:01:45,071 --> 01:01:47,613 I'll deal with it. 353 01:01:52,988 --> 01:01:54,863 Tell me about you. 354 01:01:57,654 --> 01:02:01,571 I'm a clean slate. This must have something to do with you. 355 01:02:04,946 --> 01:02:07,529 How can you cheat on your husband like that? 356 01:02:13,404 --> 01:02:15,988 Sex is exclusive. 357 01:02:17,030 --> 01:02:20,696 I get that in other ways. Sex is just sex to me. 358 01:02:21,321 --> 01:02:23,696 What's more personal than sex? 359 01:02:25,488 --> 01:02:29,571 Your fears? Your inhibitions? Your heartbreak. 360 01:02:32,030 --> 01:02:33,821 Your insecurities? 361 01:02:35,362 --> 01:02:37,155 Unconditional love. 362 01:02:40,238 --> 01:02:44,321 That's what me and my brother have. We would do anything for each other. 363 01:02:45,571 --> 01:02:49,321 I've missed that bond because my parents got divorced. 364 01:02:50,321 --> 01:02:52,279 When I was five years old. 365 01:02:53,571 --> 01:02:55,780 I didn't see my father anymore. 366 01:02:56,780 --> 01:02:59,821 He left the country. Him and my brother. 367 01:03:00,238 --> 01:03:01,905 You never went to visit them? 368 01:03:02,071 --> 01:03:03,738 No I couldn't. 369 01:03:06,488 --> 01:03:08,863 It all comes back to childhood doesn't it? 370 01:03:10,654 --> 01:03:12,905 So it's all my father's fault as usual? 371 01:03:14,113 --> 01:03:18,113 Sweetie, my childhood was pretty easy. 372 01:03:23,279 --> 01:03:28,362 When a woman is sexually aggressive they think she's traumatized or something's wrong with her. 373 01:03:29,613 --> 01:03:32,321 Men are studs, women are sluts. 374 01:03:34,696 --> 01:03:38,654 Why can't they just accept that this is something I want? 375 01:03:45,863 --> 01:03:53,072 It feels right. I feel more alive, I respect people and I have more energy. 376 01:03:54,905 --> 01:03:59,113 Maybe it's that behavior that's causing all your problems. 377 01:04:00,072 --> 01:04:03,237 You can't interpret your promise to God at your whim. 378 01:04:03,863 --> 01:04:07,030 Where is it written in the wedding vows that I can't fuck other people? 379 01:04:07,446 --> 01:04:08,780 I beg your pardon? 380 01:04:08,946 --> 01:04:12,113 Loyalty is something different than agreeing not seeing other people. 381 01:04:12,738 --> 01:04:15,321 And please stop lecturing me. 382 01:04:17,072 --> 01:04:21,654 They say when you're a grown up you can do anything you want. 383 01:04:23,363 --> 01:04:25,446 Well I sure haven't noticed it. 384 01:04:25,654 --> 01:04:29,613 First my father tells me what I can and can't do. 385 01:04:30,404 --> 01:04:33,237 Then the school controls my life. 386 01:04:34,321 --> 01:04:37,946 My boss, my friends with their expectations. 387 01:04:38,196 --> 01:04:42,613 The plant that needs watering. The fridge that needs it's weekly filling... 388 01:04:42,863 --> 01:04:47,237 ...and finally Vincent who gives me his bi weekly. 389 01:04:50,738 --> 01:04:56,154 But there once was a time where I considered quitting. 390 01:04:57,113 --> 01:04:58,946 I mean quitting everything. 391 01:05:03,571 --> 01:05:07,196 And then there was that night were everything changed. 392 01:05:09,529 --> 01:05:11,571 I was at a friends' house. 393 01:05:14,279 --> 01:05:17,988 We're playing trivial pursuit. I won. 394 01:05:20,154 --> 01:05:24,988 I enjoyed the red wine for the first time in years. And it even made me joyful. 395 01:05:26,571 --> 01:05:28,613 And on my way home... 396 01:05:29,696 --> 01:05:32,112 ...suddenly a blizzard started. 397 01:05:32,947 --> 01:05:38,154 In the middle of the night on an unlit highway, in the middle of nowhere. 398 01:05:40,321 --> 01:05:42,738 I made a game with myself. 399 01:05:45,237 --> 01:05:49,237 Drive unblinking into the snow and hit something... 400 01:05:50,905 --> 01:05:54,363 ...or focus and get myself safely home. 401 01:05:55,863 --> 01:05:57,780 I chose the latter. 402 01:05:58,988 --> 01:06:01,112 I turned the radio on and just drove. 403 01:06:02,404 --> 01:06:05,488 On the radio was a guest... 404 01:06:06,488 --> 01:06:10,529 ...and he was also depressed and he had survived it. 405 01:06:12,446 --> 01:06:14,279 He described exactly how I felt. 406 01:06:16,071 --> 01:06:18,863 And then they played my kind of music and... 407 01:06:19,696 --> 01:06:23,154 ...something peaceful settled into to me that never left. 408 01:06:28,446 --> 01:06:31,905 I could do it. I could choose. 409 01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:37,196 And after that night I didn't just think about sex... I WAS sex. 410 01:06:38,112 --> 01:06:39,821 My body became a flower... 411 01:06:39,821 --> 01:06:43,613 ...and I bloomed wider than ever before. 412 01:06:43,780 --> 01:06:45,488 The game was on. 413 01:06:46,571 --> 01:06:48,655 First with men. Secret and fast. 414 01:06:50,279 --> 01:06:52,363 After that with a woman. 415 01:06:53,655 --> 01:06:55,738 A horny friend. 416 01:06:56,821 --> 01:06:58,905 Kisses and dirty talk. 417 01:07:00,029 --> 01:07:04,530 And after we attacked her husband together there was no stopping me. 418 01:07:09,738 --> 01:07:15,863 What I feel now is worlds apart from the way I felt in my cage. 419 01:07:18,863 --> 01:07:20,238 I caress my arm. 420 01:07:21,863 --> 01:07:25,279 I curl my toes from happiness. I paint my nails... 421 01:07:28,446 --> 01:07:31,863 I shave everything that can be smooth. 422 01:07:34,029 --> 01:07:39,279 And not for anyone else. I do it because my body wants me. 423 01:07:39,404 --> 01:07:43,071 If I ride my bike I feel the seat on my pussy. If I flirt... 424 01:07:43,238 --> 01:07:46,404 ...the world winks at me back. 425 01:07:46,905 --> 01:07:51,863 My body is celebrating. 24 hours a day, 7 days per week, it just celebrates. 426 01:07:52,154 --> 01:07:58,822 I sent invitations for whoever wants to join and I leave the door wide open. 427 01:07:58,946 --> 01:08:05,446 When I have sex there are no thoughts, No father's voice telling me what to do... 428 01:08:05,571 --> 01:08:08,029 ...or a boyfriend asking me what I like. 429 01:08:08,571 --> 01:08:11,028 This is just for me. 430 01:08:16,028 --> 01:08:17,905 And sometimes I feel guilty. 431 01:08:20,113 --> 01:08:21,571 Terribly guilty. 432 01:08:23,570 --> 01:08:27,113 In life you can run away from everything exept yourself. 433 01:08:27,655 --> 01:08:29,655 Things can get back at you... 434 01:08:30,780 --> 01:08:33,946 ...but in the end you're the one who has to pay the price. 435 01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:39,446 So now I've become that mythical creature... 436 01:08:41,445 --> 01:08:44,612 A woman that all men fantasize about... 437 01:08:45,987 --> 01:08:48,321 ...but think she doesn't exist. 438 01:08:50,445 --> 01:08:52,237 A unicorn. 439 01:09:17,154 --> 01:09:20,196 How can I explain this to people? 440 01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:22,654 What words can I use? 441 01:09:23,278 --> 01:09:29,154 It's just like going to a movie but I step into the film and become part of it. 442 01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:35,655 Tell me... 443 01:12:35,946 --> 01:12:38,071 Did you enjoy the view? 444 01:12:38,488 --> 01:12:40,405 I still am. 445 01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:45,196 Can I have a Bitter Lemon? 446 01:12:52,737 --> 01:12:54,654 Where's your wife? 447 01:12:57,196 --> 01:12:59,113 I tied her up at home. 448 01:13:02,363 --> 01:13:04,280 Have you ever been tied up? 449 01:13:13,530 --> 01:13:15,696 You like to be in control don't you? 450 01:13:23,238 --> 01:13:25,654 Raymond. We need you. 451 01:13:27,029 --> 01:13:28,321 I'll be there. 452 01:13:34,946 --> 01:13:36,447 I'll be back. 453 01:14:53,488 --> 01:14:55,571 Exciting paintings. 454 01:15:10,447 --> 01:15:11,946 Two and a half. 455 01:15:13,529 --> 01:15:15,030 Cheers. 456 01:19:18,821 --> 01:19:21,529 We are not going to play with ourselves. 457 01:20:47,905 --> 01:20:49,072 Hey. 458 01:20:50,446 --> 01:20:52,030 What the hell are you doing? 459 01:20:53,196 --> 01:20:55,571 Much better like this. - Asshole! 460 01:21:08,780 --> 01:21:11,655 Much better. Now I feel you. Like this... 461 01:21:29,237 --> 01:21:30,613 Come on! 462 01:22:09,655 --> 01:22:13,571 I belong to the one in four women who fantasizes about that. 463 01:22:14,655 --> 01:22:20,196 Thousands of women finger themselves each night to their fantasy of forced sex. 464 01:22:21,696 --> 01:22:24,613 One attacker. Two. 465 01:22:26,488 --> 01:22:28,196 Or five. 466 01:22:29,863 --> 01:22:35,655 Two between my legs, two in the hand and one in the mouth. 467 01:22:38,863 --> 01:22:42,196 Isn't it great? Fantasizing is fine... 468 01:22:42,905 --> 01:22:45,947 ...but when push comes to shove the reality is different. 469 01:22:46,321 --> 01:22:48,196 That's logical isn't it? 470 01:22:50,780 --> 01:22:53,321 Then why do we have these fantasies? 471 01:22:53,446 --> 01:22:56,947 Why do we scream our heads off if one is a bit rough with us... 472 01:22:57,655 --> 01:23:01,154 ...but in our mind we can take on five. 473 01:23:03,071 --> 01:23:05,905 These are the things I wonder about. 474 01:23:09,613 --> 01:23:14,030 I decided right there I wouldn't let one bad apple spoil my pleasures. 475 01:23:15,571 --> 01:23:19,029 I could've easily decide to throw in the towel... 476 01:23:19,738 --> 01:23:22,696 ...but instead I became more self-confident. 477 01:23:23,905 --> 01:23:26,238 Do you think he's behind this? 478 01:23:27,738 --> 01:23:29,154 You know... 479 01:23:30,238 --> 01:23:34,696 ...everyone that I know is busy fighting to get back what they once had... 480 01:23:35,821 --> 01:23:39,488 I'm fighting for what I want to become. 481 01:23:51,863 --> 01:23:55,696 Whatever it is, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. 482 01:23:56,488 --> 01:24:01,029 If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry okay? 483 01:24:38,905 --> 01:24:40,196 Hello! 484 01:24:52,571 --> 01:24:54,780 He cut me. 485 01:25:03,279 --> 01:25:05,029 There were two of them. 486 01:25:06,863 --> 01:25:08,571 There was another guy. 487 01:25:24,822 --> 01:25:26,196 Are you in pain? 488 01:25:29,196 --> 01:25:30,238 Hey. 489 01:25:30,904 --> 01:25:32,029 Does it hurt? 490 01:25:32,154 --> 01:25:35,279 I think it's anesthetized. I'm not sure. 491 01:25:39,946 --> 01:25:41,822 No anesthesia then. 492 01:26:13,780 --> 01:26:15,655 Goddammit! 493 01:26:19,822 --> 01:26:22,238 I'm starting to see what they are up to. 494 01:26:23,822 --> 01:26:26,238 Do you know "A clockwork orange"? 495 01:26:29,946 --> 01:26:33,154 A violent person is bombarded with violent images... 496 01:26:33,446 --> 01:26:36,488 ...so that even he can't take it anymore. 497 01:26:38,029 --> 01:26:40,655 They are trying to destroy me. 498 01:26:42,613 --> 01:26:44,780 To destroy what I have. 499 01:26:45,780 --> 01:26:47,946 My freedom. 500 01:26:51,154 --> 01:26:53,738 I won't let all this take it away from me. 501 01:26:54,071 --> 01:26:56,655 Suppose we get out of here tomorrow. 502 01:26:56,904 --> 01:26:59,488 Would you just pick up where you left off? 503 01:27:00,946 --> 01:27:03,530 Could you go off to a sex party again? 504 01:27:05,988 --> 01:27:08,571 I think I'd have some trouble with that. 505 01:27:12,321 --> 01:27:17,446 Just like I do you disconnect sex from the feelings you have on that table. 506 01:27:19,655 --> 01:27:24,321 And the lust and the pleasure of sex... 507 01:27:25,446 --> 01:27:27,446 ...get replaced by fear. 508 01:27:33,446 --> 01:27:36,530 So we need to replace all this with something else... 509 01:27:37,530 --> 01:27:39,779 To get rid of the fear? 510 01:27:57,697 --> 01:27:59,321 What turns you on? 511 01:28:01,029 --> 01:28:02,446 Sorry? 512 01:28:02,862 --> 01:28:04,488 No don't apologize. 513 01:28:05,862 --> 01:28:07,280 Visualize it. 514 01:28:10,238 --> 01:28:11,363 I can't. 515 01:28:14,405 --> 01:28:17,655 Usually I can talk about this stuff so easily... 516 01:28:19,405 --> 01:28:21,572 ...but with you it's different. 517 01:28:22,321 --> 01:28:26,904 Oh... because I'm monogamous you think I don't fantasize? 518 01:28:32,238 --> 01:28:34,154 I love control. 519 01:28:37,196 --> 01:28:41,196 I like to be on top so I can control the rhythm. 520 01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:48,280 I love giving head. 521 01:28:49,113 --> 01:28:52,071 Because it gives me so much power. 522 01:28:54,280 --> 01:28:57,238 His whole manhood in my mouth. 523 01:29:00,280 --> 01:29:03,238 I love looking at myself. - Really? 524 01:29:05,946 --> 01:29:10,821 Mirrors. - Pictures? Video? 525 01:29:14,029 --> 01:29:15,988 That's hot. 526 01:29:19,154 --> 01:29:20,655 I... 527 01:29:23,779 --> 01:29:26,321 I've an exhibitionist streak. 528 01:29:30,405 --> 01:29:32,946 I go in public without my panties on. 529 01:29:33,321 --> 01:29:36,488 Really you'd do that? - Yes. 530 01:29:39,613 --> 01:29:41,988 One time I was shopping with my friends... 531 01:29:42,696 --> 01:29:45,071 ...and we went for a drink in a cafe. 532 01:29:47,155 --> 01:29:50,737 A guy at the bar and I found ourselves staring at each other. 533 01:29:52,280 --> 01:29:55,405 His eye contact was so strong... 534 01:29:55,821 --> 01:29:58,946 ...so horny and full of lust... 535 01:30:00,029 --> 01:30:02,488 I had to go to the ladies room. 536 01:30:02,946 --> 01:30:04,988 I had to make myself come. 537 01:30:05,280 --> 01:30:09,613 He came into the ladies room, closed the door behind him... 538 01:30:11,071 --> 01:30:13,863 ...and fucked me against the wall... 539 01:30:14,238 --> 01:30:16,321 ...and without saying a single word he left. 540 01:30:21,238 --> 01:30:24,071 What do you think is the most beautiful thing about yourself? 541 01:30:27,029 --> 01:30:28,530 My ass. 542 01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:31,238 I think your breasts are. 543 01:30:33,779 --> 01:30:35,405 The way you carry yourself. 544 01:30:36,779 --> 01:30:38,321 Your scent. 545 01:30:49,113 --> 01:30:50,654 What are you doing? 546 01:30:52,612 --> 01:30:53,863 Visualizing. 547 01:31:18,612 --> 01:31:19,863 Sorry. 548 01:31:22,612 --> 01:31:23,863 Sorry. 549 01:31:31,571 --> 01:31:33,612 My husband left me. 550 01:31:36,113 --> 01:31:37,280 What? 551 01:31:39,196 --> 01:31:40,363 Damian. 552 01:31:43,529 --> 01:31:45,863 He cheated on me last month. 553 01:31:50,155 --> 01:31:52,488 And you're only telling me now. 554 01:31:52,779 --> 01:31:54,155 Why? 555 01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,654 He met someone else. 556 01:32:21,946 --> 01:32:23,904 First they betray you. 557 01:32:25,363 --> 01:32:30,654 Then they do what they please and leave you behind as if it's all your fault. 558 01:32:33,071 --> 01:32:35,030 I hate that. 559 01:32:36,988 --> 01:32:38,863 That's not right. 560 01:32:43,571 --> 01:32:46,779 We're going to get out of here. I won't last much longer. 561 01:32:49,696 --> 01:32:51,863 That betrayal. 562 01:32:54,196 --> 01:33:00,779 It has such a grip on all other emotions that it chokes everything... 563 01:33:03,405 --> 01:33:05,988 ...until everything is dead. 564 01:33:09,821 --> 01:33:11,738 Except the rage. 565 01:33:17,821 --> 01:33:21,113 I saw it when my parents got divorced. 566 01:33:35,738 --> 01:33:37,654 You're a unique woman. 567 01:37:01,571 --> 01:37:03,696 What did you do? 568 01:37:06,237 --> 01:37:08,321 What have you gotten me in to? 569 01:37:10,321 --> 01:37:13,571 I don't understand you. You were supposed to break her. 570 01:37:13,905 --> 01:37:16,155 To teach Damian a lesson. 571 01:37:16,780 --> 01:37:18,654 Do you think I was joking? 572 01:37:21,613 --> 01:37:23,488 What the fuck! 573 01:37:30,446 --> 01:37:32,571 My God Christina what have you done? 574 01:37:34,446 --> 01:37:36,321 I can't do this. - Shut up! 575 01:39:20,571 --> 01:39:24,363 Okay. We've got to leave her behind. 576 01:39:24,780 --> 01:39:28,363 She still doesn't know anything. Not who we are, not where we live. 577 01:39:38,655 --> 01:39:41,613 I'm going back tomorrow and you're coming with me. 578 01:39:49,112 --> 01:39:53,071 Do you realize what you've destroyed? 579 01:39:59,988 --> 01:40:02,238 There's really something wrong with you. 580 01:40:17,821 --> 01:40:18,863 Good. 581 01:40:22,071 --> 01:40:24,863 We'll finish up and leave her behind. 582 01:40:30,571 --> 01:40:33,863 No one will come by and it's up to her to get out. 583 01:40:34,738 --> 01:40:35,571 Meanwhile... 584 01:42:23,279 --> 01:42:25,113 Well... 585 01:42:25,696 --> 01:42:30,904 And if you, the Stella from now, look at the Stella from a year ago... 586 01:42:31,655 --> 01:42:33,196 ...what do you see? 587 01:42:35,071 --> 01:42:38,780 That now, like then... 588 01:42:40,530 --> 01:42:43,946 ...she's alone and probably always will be. 589 01:42:44,697 --> 01:42:49,904 That I had secrets then from myself, but now only from other people. 590 01:42:51,655 --> 01:42:54,655 And I'd tell her that symbioses doesn't exist. 591 01:42:56,029 --> 01:42:57,238 That... 592 01:42:58,613 --> 01:43:01,613 ...she wants a connection but she'll never get it. 593 01:43:01,946 --> 01:43:06,488 However painful this discovery is and how liberating... 594 01:43:07,822 --> 01:43:12,363 but sacrifices have to be made if you don't want to be alone. 595 01:43:19,029 --> 01:43:20,697 Thank you. 40554

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