Original subtitles

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ Come on, the one and only ♪

Woman: I've never seen anything like it.

♪♪

"You're on a hidden --

You are on a hidden camera magic TV show."

Hey. Audition day.

We're sending people in

to actually be casting directors,

and I'm going to audition for them.

So nervous.

"You are on a hidden camera magic TV show."

-Hey. How are you? -I'm good.

Darren?

Yeah. Darren Burger.

Got a picture. Perfect, perfect.

Yeah. Excellent. All right. Great.

If you can just grab a male.

A male? Oh, a male -- Yeah, yeah.

Yes, correct.

Any of them?

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Oh, you know, I'm so -- Would you just grab one for me?

I don't even want to know what it's gonna be.

It would probably be better if it's random.

Everybody's reading cold like this?

Yeah. Okay, okay. What is it?

Oh, he's a -- He's a -- Tony the chef.

Oh, okay, chef. All right.

Hold on one sec.

All righty.

Okay?

Yep.

All right, great. You know what?

I'm going to actually take off my glasses.

I think I probably look more chef-like without them.

Oop.

♪♪

"There's something I call food logic.

If a guy orders lasagna on a Friday,

he's got no date lined up that weekend.

He's fine packing it on.

But if he gets the soup and half chicken special, he's hooked up.

He wants to fit into that shirt

and he had dry cleaned last April

that's been sitting in his closet getting lonely."

All righty. Perfect. Thank you very much.

And if you wouldn't mind just sending in the next person.

Sure. Okay. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Appreciate you.

♪♪

What the [bleep]

You know what, could you just take one for me at random?

I don't even want to -- I don't want to --

Sure.

I'll be better off just reading cold

without knowing what the role is going to be.

That's okay.

All right. Great.

And then if you need a second, that's fine.

Okay. Yeah, I'll probably do this better

without my glasses on.

Okay. Officer Bill.

Whoop. Dropped that. Sorry about that.

No worries. You're fine.

Uh...

So, I'm an officer.

"Shouldn't be doing that, Jimmy,

gamblin' in an alleyway.

Would your folks say?

You may find this hard to believe, Jimmy,

but I -- I used to be just like you.

And who knows?

Maybe someday you'll walk a beat like mine.

Would that be so bad?"

Thank you so much, Darren. Okay.

And just a couple follow-up questions.

How tall are you?

How tall am I? I am 6'1".

6'1".

And also would you be able to come back

for the dance audition at 3:00 p.m.?

I don't really consider myself much of a dancer.

I-I could try.

Okay. All right. Thank you.

Okay.

All right. That's it?

Yep, that's it. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. Have a great day.

You too.

♪♪

All righty.

I heard the holiday show, so I brought "Silent Night."

Okay, perfect.

Yeah, I'm usually more of like kind of like rock stuff,

but, like, you know, I can...

-Okay. -You ready?

Yep.

♪♪

♪ Silent night, holy night ♪

♪ All is calm -- ♪ [ Dogs howling ]

Sorry.

That's my -- I got distracted 'cause I heard the dogs.

Is that okay?

What's...

I would never do that doing a show.

Yeah. What was that? I just heard --

That was super bizarre.

No, I think they have, like, a kennel over there or something.

I'm really sorry. No, no, no, no, not at all.

I-I was wondering what was happening myself.

No, please, please, begin again.

But again, if that had been a performance,

I'd just keep on going. Understood.

Okay.

Thank you.

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild ♪

♪ Sleep in hea-- ♪

♪ ...venly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

Thank you. Rock on, man. That was cool.

That was really cool.

Yeah, like, you know, that's a thing.

Rock on. Ow!

Wow.

That blew me away.

Did it really break?

It really broke.

No.

Wow.

Is that...

I'm taking a picture of that.

I'm taking a picture of that. You should.

Oh, my gosh. I've never seen that happen.

I have never seen that happen.

He should have --

I should have let him take a picture of that.

Wow.

That is -- That's amazing.

What am I supposed to be saying to the?

I guess he can sing.

I mean, it's a little weird, but...

-Hey. How's it going? -Good. How are you?

Good. Good.

You have an 8x10?

Yes, I do.

There you go. It's a little older than

I guess I look now, but if that'll do, that'll do.

This is pretty perfect skin, though.

I will say, I was like, "Ooh, I like the skin."

That's real nice. Maybe a little airbrushed.

Well... We don't judge.

And then so go ahead and pick any of the scenes here.

Okay. Just the first --

read the first page of them and then --

Oh, I'm sorry. My bad.

Geez.

You need some paper towels?

No, no, no, it's okay. It's okay.

I just -- Maybe -- Oh, you know what?

Maybe you, uh...

Mr. Jergens, you got another 8x10 maybe?

I was just looking. I think I might have one in my car.

Is that not good?

Well...

Honestly, I have one in my car...

I'm going to get a paper towel.

...that might look more like me now.

I'm just right outside, so...

Um...

Ch, ch, ch, ch, ch.

I'm going to say yeah, go ahead and get it.

All right. So I'll just grab it out of --

I'll just grab a new one out of the car, yeah?

Okay.

Okay. Yeah, it's more recent anyway.

It'll look more like me. Like my real self.

What?

♪♪

[Bleep]

♪♪

I'm so confused. Wait.

Hey, I actually don't have another one with me.

You all good.

Yeah.

They printed it using the Carbonaro effect.

Okay.

Yeah. Do you know what that is, the Carbonaro effect?

No.

Oh, it's like --

It's the name of a hidden camera magic TV show...

Okay.

...that you're actually on right now.

[ Both laugh ]

"Geez, he's so weird."

Okay. Great. Cool.

I thought -- This some -- Okay.

I was like, "What the [bleep] is going on here?

What the [bleep] is going on here?

I know I'm not that [bleep] crazy.

I know I'm not. What is this going on?"

What's your name?

PJ.

PJ, I'm Michael Carbonaro. Nice to meet you.

And that's my buddy Derek, who's a magician also.

Got it. Okay. Great.

Because when you turned around, I was like,

"What the [bleep] is going on,

because he definitely does look like the head shot,"

but I didn't know if that was the look we was going for.

But again, you know, I just like to roll with the punches.

Yeah, you're doing great, man. Yeah.

PJ, you're awesome. That was so [bleep] rad.

That was great.

♪♪

Working at an office supply store today.

Very excited.

Okay, fine, I stole some pens. Sorry.

All right, so electric stapler here.

Right.

Oh, and you have got to come back tomorrow.

Why?

Michael: Because there's a promotion tomorrow,

and they're going to be giving away

the new automated sticky pad unit.

So cool.

These are --

Why -- How are they automated?

Oh, each one has like a little bit of --

Here, I'll show you.

You pull them out of this machine.

It's got an electric chip on it.

That's just ink, but it's like magnetic ink.

Cool.

And you have to -- you program your voice

into this machine so it, like, knows your voice.

Oh, my God. That's so funny.

Right? And then it charges it while it's in here,

and then you can just, instead of, like,

having to stick it to stuff, you just tell it where to go.

So you don't have to, like, walk across a room.

Like, see this tank right here? Watch this.

Helium tank. [ Note beeps ]

Oh, my God.

Yeah, it'll stick -- That's crazy.

It'll stick right to it.

You could do that to something else?

Yeah. Once it knows your voice,

and it's got -- Make it go to something else.

Okay. They have really good distance too.

I'll show you. What's your name?

Danna.

Dana? D-A-N-A?

Two N's. Danna.

D-A-N-N-A. Okay.

D-A-N-N-A.

Like, let's say -- because I'm, like, terrible.

I don't use a lot of social media and stuff,

so I, like, always forget people's birthdays.

So, like, I use this to just remember birthdays.

What's your birthday?

May 8th.

May 8th? Watch.

May 8th. [ Note beeping ]

♪♪

Look at that.

What?

Did it get it?

Yes.

Insane.

Isn't that wild?

That's crazy.

Yeah. It goes -- It's going the far distance now.

Now we just put the calendar back to see --

Can I videotape that? To see how far it could go.

Yeah, sure. That is -- Do that again.

Okay.

That is crazy.

Yeah.

I don't understand even how that does that.

I'll say it because you -- Whoop.

[ Laughs ]

That's insane.

No, I dropped it. That's all. Silly me.

[ Notes beeping ]

Oh, my God.

Oh, I said "me." It heard me say "me."

That's insane.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm in another alternate universe.

Let me see if I have a new one.

I can't believe it just did that.

That hilarious. I wish I'd videotaped that.

Yeah. We should have this on some kind of

TV show or something.

That's hilarious.

Yeah. Hang on for one second.

Let me go and see if we have a unit

that we could actually let -- because we're doing it tomorrow,

but maybe I can get you one today.

You should do that tomorrow again, what you just did.

That's so funny. Andy, I said myself,

and it actually went to me.

♪♪

This is the most craziest thing I've ever seen.

Just this, then?

Just that.

Okay. You know what else is good too,

I use these, these, um...

Oh, like a little i-- Oh, what is this?

It adjusts font size. Mm-hmm.

I'll show you what you do with it.

Like, you know how most books when they print them now --

I got this from the library. Uh-huh.

They're -- Like, the text is so tiny, right?

Yeah.

Really hard to see.

So where does this come in?

Well, you could use that --

I use this one like --

Like, you'll take this little thing

'cause it's sticky on the back

and you stick it to the back of the book.

Okay.

And what you do is you just -- right?

-Okay. -See how it's so small?

You just move the font size up a little bit

and then see how it's... -No.

-...a little bit bigger. -What the hell is that?

Well, 'cause most books now are printed on digital paper.

-No. That's creepy. -Well, it's technology.

-That's creepy. -Yeah.

-I was not expecting that. -Yeah, it's really nice.

You can even go up more. Look at this.

You go up.

Here.

That's so trippy to me.

That's kind of big, though, right?

It's a little big, but it's pretty wild.

But you can use this on anything that's printed.

It's not just books.

Like, sometimes, like, menus at a restaurant

are really hard to read and you can't see the menu item.

So you have to gesture?

If you bring that with you, yeah,

then you just take it.

And you take one of these guys and...

Okay, here we go.

I'll just try this. I'll put this up here like that.

Mm-hmm.

Oh whoa.

Alright, that works.

Why did you go that big?

I didn't know it was gonna do that.

Maybe 'cause the plastic magnified it.

But it works on anything printed, which is neat.

This is probably they trippiest thing

that's happened to me all day.

-Yeah. -Pretty crazy, right?

Yeah.

-Hello. -Hey. How you doing?

-I'm well. -Alright.

Let me ring this up for you.

[ Telephone ringing ] Oh my gosh. Again.

-This has been -- -Back and forth.

You can take it. Go ahead.

No, I'm not gonna take it. In fact, you know what?

I'll use one of the noise-cancellation chips.

You seen these things?

-No. -This is great. Look at this.

[ Ringing stops ]

-Oh, my God. -Yeah.

It sucks the sound, and it absorbs it.

How?

I think it has some kind of, like, a charge to it.

It's the same technology as like....

Headphones.

Yeah, like the noise-cancellation headphones.

-That is so crazy. -Yeah.

It, like, pulls in the audio waves and deads them.

It, like, cancels them out.

-That is the craziest thing. -You want one?

-Yeah, I'll take one. -Sure, yeah, take one.

They're so fun to work with.

Thank you.

I'll have these construction guys at my house,

like, working and just, like, always waking me up.

-Oh, my God. -Like, watch this here.

Is there another one over there?

-Yeah. -Yeah. Here, take that

and stick that to the top of the hammer there.

Okay.

So, like, on top of it right here?

Yeah. Okay, good.

-Right? -Yeah, right?

Watch this here.

Alright, if I take, like -- and I was --

if I take, like, a mug, right, and put it in here, watch this.

You didn't hear anything. -No.

-Look. Smashed the whole thing. -Oh, my gosh.

Smashes the whole thing quietly.

That's so crazy.

Yeah, we got a lot of people coming in for these, so...

That is the coolest thing I've ever seen before.

Isn't that wild?

Alright, we'll get that rung up for you.

Okay.

[ Baby crying ]

Do you have another one of those?

-Oh, the cancellation? -Yeah.

So -- oh, your baby.

[ Crying continues ]

[ Crying stops ]

Oh my gosh. I feel like I'm in a movie or something.

It's too much. -Isn't that intense?

That is -- this is too much.

Yeah, the technology on them is really astounding.

-That's crazy. -Yeah.

Let me get you -- 'cause there's a booklet that goes with it.

You're gonna play with it. -Okay, perfect.

This is loading up anyway, so...

[ Mid-tempo music playing ]

♪♪

♪♪

Your card back.

And...

here's your receipt.

-Geez. This is CVS? -I know. I know, right?

-They're so, so big. -It's so unnecessary.

It's three items. -I know.

Well, they make them -- it's on a biodegradable paper.

Okay, so that's good at least.

And then the ink is also a sustainable link.

-Okay. -So it's a little bit better.

But, you know, we've been telling them to, you know,

do something about the length of these things

because it's a little crazy

but what we do is we like to be resourceful and reuse.

We roll them up, and they have, like, a little --

because it's heat sensitive, the ink.

we can run the little...

-Oh, okay. -Yeah.

And that'll actually kind of loosen the ink up.

And then you can just stick it back in the...?

Yeah, I actually pour it, 'cause what we'll do is

we'll pour it out to, like, go into our ink --

-[Bleep] -Yeah, like, the printer.

-Whoa. That's so cool. -Yeah, the printer cartridges.

Or even some of our more expensive pens

can actually work, you know, with that ink.

Wow, okay.

So, yeah, and then --

That's literally [bleep] magic.

-I know, right? -That is so awesome.

Yeah. So, here, you keep this.

Now you just have to remember the total

and then the date, too. -I'm gonna steal this.

Yeah, you might want to write it down

'cause the tax rate will change. -Okay.

Let me get you a little tax -- real quick,

I'll get you a little tax converter.

This way you'll know, if you come back with that,

we'll help you calculate the tax, and we can do a return.

We work on the honor system. -Okay.

Man, that's so cool.

♪♪

♪♪

Alas, poor person who is gonna come work with me today

to flip this house, because this is gonna get...

a little bit scary.

Alright, yes, so we're going to box some stuff up.

He said he left this stuff here,

and, apparently, there's, like,

some really good plates in a closet.

-Plates in a closet. -Like, in a basket.

The basket. They said it was in a basket.

-Oh, perfect. -That's great.

Yeah. Oh, man.

Yeah, look at that. Oh, lovely.

-Oh, my gosh. -For developing film or...?

Holy crap. "American Horror Story," bro.

Scary. Okay.

Yeah, put that right on over here.

We'll pick him up. Just come on around.

Yeah, she was like -- she had been living here

for like 50 years, and they couldn't get her out.

She was paying like $450-a-month rent for the whole house.

Are you serious? How?

Was it grandfathered in for something?

-It was not the most -- -Oh, if you can't tell me stuff,

don't tell me stuff. It's fine.

Yeah, they got her out. They got her out. So...

[ Door opens ] Hello?

[ Door closes ] Hi. Oh.

-Hi. -Hi. Hi.

-You here to -- -The door was open.

Yeah. Great. Take a peek around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm warning you it's a little eclectic.

So this will all be cleaned out,

and, you know, we're gonna -- we've painted, new carpets.

You know, technically, it's not open for viewing,

but we are letting a couple people through.

-I'm Michael. -Catarina.

-Catarina, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

-This is Chris. -Hi. Nice to meet you.

So no water in there, and then...

So all of this that's in here,

is it gonna stay furnished?

No, we're definitely --

unless you're interested in some pieces.

Yeah, I think I would like everything to stay.

-Okay. -This is just my style.

Okay. And I got one more guy coming.

I'm gonna step out and call the guy

and see when he's coming in. -Okay, cool, cool, cool.

Yeah, take your time. -Alright.

[ Door opens, closes ]

What area you from?

I live around here.

Mm-hmm.

[ Chuckles ]

You like the tapestries here?

Yeah, they're beautiful.

So many memories here.

They do stay with you don't they, Chris?

[ Gasps ]

Yeah.

♪♪

♪♪

Michael: Okay, then, yeah.

So, it's open, but the front door, it looks really gross.

Alright, bye.

Okay. Okay, so he's gonna --

one more person's gonna come in.

It'll be alright.

What's going on?

[ Whispering ] She turned old and went in there.

I'm telling you, the beautiful woman we saw,

all those things that were on there,

she put them in front of her like that... Yeah.

...she pulled it down, and she was old.

I know I sound crazy, but I'm just telling you I'm seeing.

Where is she?

She's just -- she's just checking out the closet.

She's checking out the closet?

Hello?

I'm gonna have to ask you to come on out of there, okay?

You -- oh. Oh. [ Cat meows ]

Michael: What the hell's going on?

Chris: What...?

Hey, is that you that just went into the closet?

[ Cat meows ]

How...? Is that you?

Catarina?

Oh, my God, dude, no, that is the lady's name.

That's the tenant's name.

Catarina, are you a god, or you are the devil?

[ Cat meows ]

I'm gonna close the door for you again

so you could do what you wanted to do

and we'll check on you in a minute, okay?

And we'll give you time and we won't interrupt you, okay?

Whoa.

That is so weird. Okay, you're freaking me out.

Well, I need to talk to you in private.

What happened?

Want to talk to you outside.

Catarina: I'm gonna talk to you later about renting this place, okay?

Michael: Yeah. Your hat.

It was lovely meeting you, Catarina.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Okay, now I'm totally freaking out.

Did you say "your hat" or "your cat"?

Because there's no cat there now...

She left her hat.

...because she was the cat, bro.

I told you that when I walked in here.

I felt this -- I'm Greek Orthodox Christian, man.

She turned into -- a young woman, into an old woman, bro,

in front of my eyes.

-Oh, my God. Dude, what is that? -I swear to God. I swear to God.

-How is that happening? -Witchcraft.

Or, like -- is that like some Carbonaro Effect mumbo --

No, bro, I'm telling you, I've never seen this in my life.

It's got to be the Carbonaro Effect.

What's that mean?

"The Carbonaro Effect," you know?

Like, a hidden-camera magic TV show...

-We're not on a TV show, bro. -...that you're on right now.

-I'm on a TV show? -Chris.

-Shut up. -I'm telling you the truth.

-I am not on a TV show. -That wasn't real. I promise.

-Yes, it was. -[ Laughs ]

-Yes, it was. -It was real?

Yes, it was real.

Okay, we'll go with real.

I believe what I saw, though.

I don't believe the you're messing.

I think that you're just trying to cope.

I think that you're going through stress

right now 'cause you saw [bleep] you don't understand.

You're trying to rewrite things so you can sleep at night.

Then why am I wearing a microphone, then?

-Because you're crazy. -[ Laughs ]