Original subtitles

♪ Here I am, I'm Melvin Brooks ♪

♪ I've come to stop the show ♪

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

♪ Just a ham who's minus looks ♪

♪ But in your hearts I'll grow! ♪

♪ I'll tell you gags I'll sing you songs ♪

♪ Happy little snappy tunes That roll along ♪

♪ I'm out of my mind So, won't you be kind ♪

♪ And please love... ♪

♪ Melvin Brooks ♪

All right.

This is your home.

You have a giant Buddha.

-MEL BROOKS: Mm-hmm. -Why the Buddha?

-Just for luck. -Just for luck.

MEL: A house needs a Buddha, that's-- I can tell you that.

JUDD APATOW: Every house needs a Buddha.

How'd this get decorated? Who picked this?

MEL: My late great wife, Anne Bancroft.

She had good taste in everything except husbands.

-(CHUCKLES) -♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JUDD: Is it important to you that people know your story?

You care about the legacy.

No, not so much about me, but about little, short,

funny-looking Jews who are...

trepidatious about entering show business.

JUDD: Yeah.

I said, if I can do it, you can do it.

♪ (THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Will you raise it up? Thank you, Phil.

Mel Brooks.

So, tell me,

do you have any more questions about your favorite Jew?

JUDD: Part of this for me is,

almost everything I've done is copying you.

-Oh, okay. Oh! -Whoa.

JUDD: You're on TV. You're funny in the interviews.

INTERVIEWER: It's also the first time.

-(SNORES) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I'm sorry.

JUDD: You're doing The 2000 Year Old Man.

You're kind of doing stand-ups.

...is what has kept you alive for 2,000 years?

-An enormous fear of death. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

JUDD: You're directing the movies,

you're acting in the movies, you're writing the movies.

Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Hello, boys. Have a good night's rest?

I missed you.

JUDD: To a lot of people who went into comedy...

It's good to be the king.

JUDD: ...they thought, "That seems

like the best job in the world..."

-MEL: Yeah. -JUDD: "...the Mel Brooks job."

I'm glad nobody took it.

-No one was as good. -MEL: Yeah.

You couldn't be replaced, but you could be copied.

-I'm working for Mel Brooks. -♪ (THRILLING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

♪ (THRILLING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

Mel Brooks.

(VOCALIZING)

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

JUDD: You've done a lot of interviews.

How accurate are the great stories?

-They're inaccurate completely. -JUDD: Yeah.

And do you feel like you've had to create

a public persona of Mel Brooks?

I've done a lot-- I did a lot of interviews.

Half of them were just completely fake.

JUDD: Do you think people know who you really are?

-No. -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Mel, why did you become a comedian?

-Sex. -MICHAEL ASPEL: I see.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I thought I'd get some if I got into show business.

And I danced my way into the hearts of many women.

(GUEST CHUCKLING)

A lot of them had to go to the hospital.

You don't dance your way into a human heart.

There's a lot of surgery that has to be...

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MEL: The name I was born with was Melvin Kaminsky.

JUDD: You grew up in Brooklyn.

MEL: 365 South Third Street.

MICHAEL: It is true, is it not, that you were from humble surroundings?

Yes, yes.

You lost your father at an early age, didn't you?

No, no.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

My father died.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Michael, if we'd lost him,

we would have sent people out to find him.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-JUDD: And who is this lady? -MEL: That's Kitty Kaminsky.

She lost her husband when he was only 34, my father.

Tuberculosis swept through New York

and he was taken.

Terrible. And so she...

She took care of four boys by herself.

JUDD: She looks tough.

MEL: She was.

But she was good-natured, and she sang a lot.

I remember when, in the winter,

she dressed me under the covers

so when I popped out of bed, I'd be warm.

JUDD: Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

So, she dressed me under the covers.

I was about five years old,

ready to go to kindergarten,

and Bing Crosby was on from 8:00 to 8:15 on the radio.

She'd sing along.

-♪ She was selling china ♪ -♪ (BING CROSBY SINGING IN BACKGROUND) ♪

MEL: ♪ And when she caught my eye I kept buying china ♪

♪ Until the crowd got... ♪

BING CROSBY: ♪ I kept buying china... ♪

JUDD: And that put the love of that kind of music in you.

-Right? -MEL: Oh, yeah.

She filled me with music right from the beginning.

She raised our spirits with her ever-positive outlook on life.

♪ ("I FOUND A MILLION DOLLAR BABY" BY BING CROSBY PLAYING) ♪

JUDD: And so, raising four kids in the Depression,

how did your family just survive?

MEL: Survive? Aunt Sadie.

Aunt Sadie, God bless her.

Sadie not only gave her part of her salary, but...

helped my mother earn something

like 12 or 15 dollars a week.

And I don't know how she could do that,

get to sleep,

wake up before her four boys,

and prepare breakfast, you know?

And we had a real breakfast.

I remember we never had bacon

because my grandmother lived next door.

JUDD: Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

And if she ever walked in and saw bacon,

we'd all be arrested, you know?

-♪ ...and ten cent store ♪ -♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: The movies to me were the great escape.

The smell of the lamp from the screen,

the candy.

CONAN O'BRIEN: Who were you watching?

Who was funny to you when you were a kid?

MEL: Buster Keaton.

Charlie Chaplin.

CONAN: Did you like the Marx Brothers?

How do you like that? I haven't been on the job five minutes

and already she's making advances to me.

MEL: I love them.

Not that I care, but where is your husband?

Why, he's dead.

I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.

CONAN: There's something about what they're doing

that always has felt evocative to me about you, which is...

Anarchy.

Oh, I get it! The old mortgage on the farm.

♪ (SINGING INDISTINCTLY) ♪

MEL: I also liked the Ritz Brothers.

They were sensational.

They danced in unison.

They sang.

When you watch Jerry Lewis

or countless great physical comics,

they're doing... (IMITATES SOUND EFFECTS)

They're doing, "Harry..."

"I'll tell you the truth."

(IMITATES SQUEAK, BLOWS RASPBERRY) It's Harry Ritz.

Here you are, sir.

BEN STILER: Growing up in that generation in the 1930s,

I know on my dad's side

how much fighting there was about

you know, just paying the bills

and just surviving.

So, you know,

the comedy instinct to get away from all that pain,

I think, is a very strong thing.

And they both came out of a background

where nobody was probably saying to them,

"Hey, go be a movie star and make movies."

I know my dad's dad was saying,

you should be a stagehand. He told him that.

Um... 'cause that was like, it's like saying like,

"Go and..." you know,

"Go fly to the moon."

You know, it was that realistic.

Everybody's gone on about you being

this short Jewish chap from poor tenement.

-Right? -Right, right.

MAVIS NICHOLSON: And so from that,

it could be that you didn't have a superiority complex,

or even just an ability to see yourself as you are.

-But you did. -I did.

I was able to make all the guys on the block laugh.

I was able to tell the stories. I was the commentator on life.

I was the Jiminy Cricket to their Pinocchio.

I was the comic conscience of my neighborhood.

And I always felt adored.

And I think that given a lot of love as a child,

it was the need to continue it.

So, I never really did feel inferior,

though I had every right to,

looking at myself in the mirror.

But I never did, I never felt inferior.

-(HORN BLARING) -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: 365 South Third Street

had 22 apartments.

Every single apartment

contributed one or two members

to the Garment Center.

My friend Moshy Brown once said,

"So, what do you think you'll be?

You think you'll be a comic?"

I said, "No,

I think I'm doomed."

"I think we're all...

heading... for Seventh Avenue,"

which was the Garment Center.

JUDD: So, what was the big break that got you into comedy?

I actually got into show business

because there was a guy in my neighborhood

by the name of Don Appell.

He started in the Borscht Belt, which is,

for those of you

of some exotic persuasion,

like Catholic...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

...the Borscht Belt is a place in the Jewish Catskills,

right outside of New York City.

♪ We're gonna hitchhike Up to the Catskills ♪

MEL: The Borscht Belt was a starting point

for the careers

-of a lot of Jewish comics. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: So, in the summer of 1941,

Don used his influence to get me a job

at the Butler Lodge.

I was sent there as a busboy

with... a caveat

that if an actor broke a leg or something,

I could take his place.

You're an understudy busboy.

Understudy busboy.

Tonight is as appropriate as any.

MEL: And I loved all the comics in the mountains, you know?

People like Myron Cohen.

For example, this adorable little eight-year-old girl...

That was my dream.

...walked into a bakery shop and said to the baker,

"My mommy found a fly in the raisin bread."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

He says, "So bring back the fly, I'll give you a raisin."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JUDD: But not every kid sees that

and says, "I want to be like them."

Well, it was the response of it.

The audience clapping and laughing

and joy in their face.

I said, "Could there be a better job than this?"

Anyway, I got my dream.

Life. Life is...

can turn on you in a second.

One of the actors

in a play called Uncle Harry.

Uncle Harry. He fell in a hole.

That is the truth. He was walking.

He didn't see the hole. He fell in the...

Nobody really falls into a hole.

Yeah, he fell in a hole. (CHUCKLES) Nobody--

And he fell in a hole. He banged himself up,

and he couldn't do the show that night.

So, they called me.

I knew his lines.

"There, there, Harry.

Have a seat. Relax."

(GASPS) "He knows the words!"

I knew the words of everybody in the cast.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -I wanted to be an actor.

MEL: So, they made me up.

They gave me a big wig, gave me a beard.

Play's going on.

Curtain is up in scene two. I'm at my desk.

"There, there, Harry."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

"Don't be nervous."

"Have some water

and tell me in your own--" Crash!

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -(CHUCKLES)

I dropped that glass of water.

-(CHUCKLES) -MEL: I mean..

I walked down to the footlights.

I take my hump out. I take my wig off.

Take my beard. I said, "I'm 14. I've never done this."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I knew then, "Okay, that's it."

You got that laugh, and that's a chemical reaction.

MEL: That's it. It said...

(IMITATES MYSTICAL VOICE) "You were meant not for the Garment Center,

but to make people laugh.

Go forth from this place, Melvin,

and make people happy.

Make them laugh,

and you'll get a lot more money than the Garment Center."

(LAUGHS)

♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) ♪

Always keep the beat.

I'm always in the center of the beat.

MEL: (OVER RECORDING) I was a drummer.

A tidbit of information, only a few blocks away,

Buddy Rich, the famous swing drummer,

did teach me some rudimentary paradiddles, etcetera.

Never wrong. Born to do it.

INTERVIEWER: When did you start drumming?

MEL: When I was about 14 years.

What I'm doing now is really

the most important thing a drummer can do.

Not show off, just... drive.

MEL: I played weddings, bar mitzvahs, subway platforms,

any place that would get a couple of bucks.

TOM SNYDER: How did you get from the drums

to standing up and doing the jokes?

And don't tell me the comedian got sick one night

and they called on you.

One night the comedian got sick and they called on me.

-(TOM LAUGHS) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: "Melvin the comic is sick and going..."

When the comic fell ill,

I, the drummer,

knew all that bad material and jumped to the stage,

and I did these kinds of jokes.

Good evening, ladies and germs.

Welcome to a bang-up variety show presented by

and for the boys here at the Good Luck Inn.

We have a swell lineup for tonight, loads of talent,

lots of girls will be out in a minute.

Girls will be coming out.

-Wait, wait, give me a break. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And I'm gonna be your MC, that's short for "mental case."

I just flew in from Chicago and...

"Boy, are my arms tired."

"I met a girl in Chicago that was so skinny..."

So skinny,

that I took her to a restaurant and the waiter said,

"Check their umbrella."

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -That's all. Lousy jokes, lousy.

But I loved it. It was all junk,

terrible stuff, but I loved it.

ALAN YENTOB: Was there something special

about being Jewish in Brooklyn at that time?

No, everybody was.

(ALAN CHUCKLING)

Every single human being in Brooklyn

was a Jew at that point,

so there was nothing special about it.

It was quite ordinary. It was a pedestrian thing to be.

I mean, I went to Manhattan, and I met all these Gentiles,

and it was a little frightening.

That was frightening. I said, "My God,

you mean there are other people besides Jews in the world?"

I mean...

So, we never felt any-- any, uh, anti-Semitism

or any strangeness.

Had we been transported to Nebraska or Kansas

or Abilene, Texas,

yes, we would have felt. They would have said,

(WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT) "What the hell are that thing there talking in?

In that Jew talk.

And little. What the hell, so little itty-bitty people.

They're so short, so funny. And they can count."

"I got myself a Jew.

I wanted an Airedale, but I got myself a Jew instead.

And, uh, it do everything.

It... It...

Ostensibly, it's my accountant,

but it's cuter than an accountant.

It can count. It don't even need a pencil.

It can count. You just...

All you-- Every night, you just take a little matzos.

That's what they eat, unleavened bread.

You put that in their dish in a little water to soften up

because they'll cut their gums.

You don't want a little Jew bleeding all over your carpet.

You give them the matzos, and the little Jews,

and they love you for it.

They love you for it. They're wonderful people."

(FILM REEL WHIRRING)

(AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING)

MEL: I knew I wanted to go into show business,

but Hitler had started a war.

-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -MEL: I was 17 years old,

and in my senior year,

when I joined the Army Reserve trainees.

JUDD: Everyone goes off to war. Did all your brothers go?

Four blue stars on a flag in the window.

-JUDD: Wow. -Can you believe that?

-JUDD: And your mom is suddenly alone. -And...

Suddenly she's alone and she's...

praying every night for her boys...

-JUDD: Wow. -...to survive the war.

My brother Lenny was a hero, literally.

He was a waist gunner in a B-17 bomber.

He was shot down and he was a prisoner of war for 18 months.

-JUDD: Wow. -It was difficult.

I enlisted. That was the last good war.

And I was going to kill all the Nazis.

And I was sent by the army to VMI,

the West Point of the South, Virginia Military Institute.

And I was the only Jew

that ever rode a horse and flashed a saber.

INTERVIEWER: You're acutely aware of being Jewish.

MEL: Yes, I am.

And I was very aware of being different.

I was very aware of our being treated differently.

It was shocking

because I didn't think we were different.

INTERVIEWER: How were you treated differently?

MEL: "You Jew bastard!" How's that for being treated?

And a punch in the eye

from a kid that I extended my hand to,

I was gonna shake hands with.

But I didn't flee and I didn't cry.

I grabbed him

and I hit him.

I beat him so badly that no one ever,

ever again in that school

went near me in a negative manner.

I was sent from a provincial tenement in Brooklyn

to France.

1104th Engineer Combat Battalion.

JUDD: And the Germans had just left France?

MEL: Yeah.

JUDD: And so your job was to make sure

-they didn't leave behind booby traps? -MEL: Right.

Forty-five degree angle with your bayonet,

go through the soil,

find, find, find. Dink, dink.

Uh-oh.

The first thing we learned,

if you go to the bathroom, never pull the chain.

-(JUDD CHUCKLES) -'Cause...

that's one way ticket to death.

They put dynamite attached to, you know, in the water closet.

-JUDD: Yeah. -You pull that, boom.

Had I been born six months earlier,

I would have been in the Battle of the Bulge.

So, we're very, very lucky.

JUDD: And were you aware

what was happening with the Holocaust?

MEL: I heard rumors, but...

no, not at all.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

JUDD: Now, you're in the paper during the war.

It says, "A Star is Born."

I left the engineers and went into show business,

you know, army show business.

JUDD: Head of the entertainment crew

-for special services. -Exactly.

JUDD: So, you recreated the Borscht Belt in Germany.

MEL: I surrounded myself with German entertainers.

JUDD: Were they upset with you

'cause the city had been bombed,

or were they happy to be freed from Hitler?

MEL: They were happy to be freed

from not having to send

another boy to his grave.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

The war changed me.

Little by little, I would see where people lived,

and I'd hear stories where families...

were decimated, you know, the whole family.

It wasn't good.

JUDD: And how does that affect your sense of humor,

to see so much tragedy?

I don't know. Maybe I just tried to, uh...

tried to... stuff it somewhere,

you know?

Finally, at 20, I was discharged.

I missed my brothers, my mother.

Twenty, you're still a baby boy. You're just a kid, you know?

JUDD: That's a lot of life before 20.

MEL: Yeah, it's a lot of life, right.

NICHOLAS BROOKS: I remember my dad

in my Grandma Kitty's apartment.

There was a little box of his war memorabilia,

and I remember he tried to put on his jacket

that he had worn as a corporal.

Didn't quite fit him.

There was things he was able to share with me.

For years after he, um--

he got back from Europe,

when there was like a truck backfire,

he would just have to fight not to hit the ground, you know?

There was a little bit of that PTSD.

I think that was part of his journey.

MEL: (OVER RECORDING) My name is Melvin Kaminsky,

and today is February 24th, 1947...

MEL: If you don't get killed in the army,

you can learn a lot.

I reconnected with Don Appell.

One of his discoveries when he was a social director,

Sid Caesar was opening

at the Copacabana as the leading comic.

We bonded immediately.

And if there was no Sid Caesar,

there would never have been a Mel Brooks.

Why don't you answer the phone?

What are you guys, a bunch of mice?

I'll answer the phone.

MEL: One day, Sid called me.

"Mel, they want me

to do this thing called television."

Oh.

Well, look, honey, we're right in the middle of a poker game.

-That's right. -FRIEND 1: That's telling her.

-FRIEND 2: Atta boy, Charlie. -FRIEND 3: That's telling her.

Now, look, I can't do anything about that.

Now, look, I... No, I'm sorry. Look.

Look, we're in the middle of a poker game.

Will you understand that?

-FRIEND 1: That's telling her! -FRIEND 2: Tell her you're gonna be...

Now, look. Look, once in a mile,

a guy's got a right to a night to play poker, right?

Now, look. Now, just don't call up again.

Goodbye.

Atta boy, Charlie. (CHUCKLES) You told her, Charlie boy, huh?

Yes, sir.

That was your wife, Danny.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

CONAN: As televisions are making their way

across the United States...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

...people are figuring out what the format is.

These guys know the stuff they loved,

which is Marx Brothers, Ritz Brothers,

Borscht Belt.

There is a tradition.

There's a tradition that's been around.

It's just now there's a new technology.

(CLATTER)

No one will notice that. It'll come right out in editing.

Look, boy.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -We don't like your boy.

CONAN: If you are Jewish

and it's the late '40s,

and you wanna make it,

and you've got some comedy talent,

there's a lot of things

that probably aren't open to you.

But this is the way

for a Mel Brooks to make it.

Now hear this!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Mel Brooks was not on camera on Your Show of Shows.

He was behind the scenes. He was in the writer's room.

And he was staying out of the view

of producer Max Liebman

'cause he technically wasn't supposed to be there.

He was being paid under the table by Sid Caesar.

-MEL: I belonged to Sid. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I didn't belong to the show,

I didn't belong to Max Liebman...

-SID CAESAR: That's right. -...I belonged to Sid.

Max wouldn't pay him the 40 dollars a week,

so I paid him the 40 dollars a week.

And then Mel pleaded with me, said he needed 45 to live.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And Max didn't care if you lived or not.

And Max said no.

Max Liebman was not exactly thrilled

to have me around.

When he saw me...

he assessed my character and personality immediately.

-He was absolutely right. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

You know?

He saw a very... an arrogant,

obnoxious little shithead...

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

...who thought he knew everything

and had patience for nothing but his own thoughts.

We had terrible fights,

and he said, "You're nothing.

You got a big mouth, but you're nothing.

You talk a lot, but you're nothing.

Make a lot of noise, but you're nothing."

And I said, "And you're the boss,

and you're the boss over nothing!"

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: Max hated me.

He said, "Mel Brooks is a living interruption."

Sometimes I would interrupt, you know,

Jimmy Starbuck, our choreographer,

would get them all lined up

and give them a step that they could do together.

And suddenly, I appeared from nowhere

because I could not resist the shiny,

beautiful wooden floors.

I would run in,

slide all the way across the dance floor,

hit the opposite wall and shout, "Safe."

LARRY GELBART: I remember when I went to work for Sid,

most everybody here was there

a little younger at the time.

(GUESTS CHUCKLING)

The late Selma Diamond was there.

The late Mel Brooks was there. Mel was always late.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Always, yeah.

And the door would open,

and Mel would come in with a straw hat

and he'd fling it across the room,

and he said, "Lindy made it!"

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -MEL: The writing staff. Listen to this staff.

Larry Gelbart, who wrote M.A.S.H.,

there was Neil Simon,

Mel Tolkin, Lucille Kallen,

and later, there was Woody Allen.

This is your roving reporter, Carl Reiner,

-here at LaGuardia Airport... -MEL: And then we discovered Carl Reiner.

He was my best friend in the world,

and I loved him.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Mel has some kind of problem with getting up.

Low blood sugar, we don't know.

He couldn't get up till twelve, one o'clock,

and he would call the Carnegie Delicatessen

and have his bagel and coffee preceded him.

When the bagel and coffee came,

we knew Mel would be soon behind.

I usually came about 45 minutes late.

-SHELDON KELLER: One o'clock in the afternoon. -No, no, no, no.

-Everybody got in, what? -10:00.

-10:00. -About 10:00. And I would--

-SID: Not about 10:00, 10:00! -They-- Hold on.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: I had trouble--

I had insomnia, I had trouble sleeping.

I was a World War II combat veteran.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Sid was in the Coast Guard. He went to Coney Island.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -(GUESTS LAUGHING)

MEL: But one day, I go to Sid.

I said, "Thank you for paying, Sid."

And I give him two dollars. He said...

"No, no, no. It's a little more than that."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I said, "How much?"

He said, "I gave the guy a 25-dollar tip."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Well, he did.

He did. He gave the guy a 25-dollar tip

to teach me a lesson not to come late.

And the coffee was cold.

-(GUEST LAUGHING) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Two German planes go down.

(IMITATES PLANE ENGINES SPUTTERING)

But still the Germans come on.

(IMITATES HEAVY GUNFIRE)

And the American...

-(VOCALIZES) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

JUDD: All of your compatriots

always say

he was the funniest performer of everybody.

Two more German planes go down.

(IMITATES PLANE ENGINES ROARING)

-(IMITATES ENGINES SPUTTERING) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

He's in trouble.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Sid never came on as funny.

Funny was always a bit of a surprise.

He came on as being sincere and earnest.

And then he'd say things

that nobody who was sincere or earnest would ever say.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Nose crooked...

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

MEL: He was a very crazy combination

-(SOBS) -MEL: ...of poetry...

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Food... (SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

MEL: And caveman.

...knife and fork...

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Knife and fork, get in my eye.

I would have been a comic ten years earlier,

but he was such a great vehicle for my passion.

He could do anything. He mimicked people.

I mean, he didn't do Bogart, he didn't do Cagney,

he just did people, recognizable types.

He really was incredibly talented.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH ITALIAN ACCENT)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH WITH FRENCH ACCENT)

-En garde! -En garde!

(GUNSHOT)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Sid was also the strongest human being.

-The strongest-- -JOHNNY CARSON: Physically?

Physically, the golden boy.

He didn't like a joke, he lifted the metal desk and the typewriter.

"I don't like it!" he said. "Okay."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

"No-- Don't have to be in. Don't have to be in." Right?

He took out a joke of mine from a sketch

and I got very angry.

Mel fought for this joke for a week.

I said, "I want you to do that joke.

You're an idiot!

You've got to do that joke because it's funny."

"You do the joke."

And I punched him in the face, knocked him against the car.

I realized slowly... "What have I done?"

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

He could have done this and sent me to Chicago.

-(GUESTS LAUGHING) -He looked at me and said,

"Well, if you feel that strong about it, let's try it."

(GUESTS LAUGHING)

Very early on, when we did the Show of Shows,

we went to Chicago.

And I was writing for Sid.

We played the Palmer House,

the Empire Room at the Palmer House.

And Sid rented a car, and we were driving in the car.

Cab cut us off.

Cab driver said things you cannot say on television.

Sid said, "Moment, moment, sir, moment."

Got out of the car, went to the cab driver.

Cab driver wearing a yellow hat and a little leather bow tie.

He's... And the cab driver

was looking through this little clipper window.

Remember those? It had a little clip--

And he says to Sid, more invectives, more,

you know, very bad cursing.

And Sid just said to him, "Do you remember birth?

JOHNNY: "Do you remember birth?"

Birth. He said, "What?" "Do you remember being born?"

"Do you remember birth, your birth?"

He said, "No. What?"

He said, "We're going to reenact it."

He grabbed him by the leather bow tie,

and began pulling him.

-(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -(JOHNNY AND AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-(LAUGHING) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

It was so...

Pulling him through the little window?

And I promise you Sid could have got him through,

but I bit his hand.

-(INAUDIBLE) -(JOHNNY LAUGHING)

JOHNNY: Somewhere there's a very long cab driver

back in Chicago, to this day.

INTERVIEWER: Your showbiz dream is coming true,

but there's so much pressure doing this weekly show

that you started getting anxiety attacks.

MEL: I started to get nervous,

and I thought I wasn't holding my end up.

So, I began getting very anxious,

acutely depressed, nervous.

And I remember saying to Mel Tolkin,

"Mel, I'm vomiting between parked cars.

I can't do this. I can't sleep.

It's impossible."

He said, "Relax. You're an animal.

You're not a person yet.

But you have the makings of a very bright human being."

And he got me into psychoanalysis.

I had a dream about being at the wheel of a car

and the car was out of control.

"They're going to find me out.

I'm not a genius. I'm not smart. I'm not funny.

I don't deserve it.

They're going to find me out and fire me."

He said to me,

"So they're going to find you out.

They're liable to find out that you're really who you are,

that you're really talented, that you really had a big hand

in making the show successful and popular.

Tomorrow, when you go into work,

you're going to ask for a raise

because you think

you deserve it."

The next morning,

I went into Max Liebman's office.

Max said, "Absolutely not. Get out."

Ten minutes later, after I told my story to Sid,

-Sid marched into Max's. -Yeah.

"He gets it.

He's good.

He's earned it.

Give it to him. If you don't, I will.

And if I have to, I'll be very angry at you."

And I got it.

JUDD: And did that help your insomnia?

MEL: Absolutely.

JUDD: So, your insomnia got a little better?

MEL: A little better, a little better.

JUDD: 'Cause you're still a night owl.

Yeah.

JUDD: What are your hours that you keep now?

I don't go to sleep until 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning.

JUDD: What are you doing?

What's happening at 3:30 in this house?

-I'm shaking. -(JUDD LAUGHS)

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JUDD: At this time, is that when you got married for the first time

during Your Show of Shows?

MEL: Yeah.

She was a dancer on the Show of Shows.

I got to meet her. I got to like her very much.

And she got to like me.

And... when I was 23 or 24, we got married.

JUDD: That's so young.

(INAUDIBLE)

NICHOLAS: My mom at one point was...

dancing for the Colgate Comedy Hour.

That was Martin and Lewis.

And Dean Martin

had such a case of the hots for her,

just loved her.

She was a beautiful woman.

And he used to go up to her and try to woo her.

And one of the things he used to say to her was,

you know, "Why are you hanging out

with that schleppy little," you know, "Jewish guy?"

You know, "You can have me.

He's a dead-ender," you know?

And my mom said,

"I'm sorry, but I really like him."

"I really dig him."

So she took a pass.

JUDD: And you had three kids in pretty quick succession.

And did she want a big family?

Not particularly.

It was thrust upon her

by her ever-loving husband.

I married her out of show business

because I kept getting her pregnant.

And that meant

that she could not pursue her career.

But I could pursue mine.

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

STEFANIE BROOKS: My father made my mother stop working

because she was his wife.

It was a dynamic

that was very common at the time.

But he was much more fun than my mother was.

They both really wanted to be nurtured,

and neither of them

was... very nurturing.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

STEPHANIE: He used to say,

"I'm known in the industry.

I'm not famous,

but they know me in the business,"

he would say.

JUDD: What was your vision for your career?

MEL: Movies.

-JUDD: "I'm gonna write movies." -MEL: "I'm gonna write movies."

JUDD: And you tried to get Sid to make movies with you?

MEL: Yeah, I said, "Sid...

you do a show on Saturday night,

and by Monday...

it's forgotten."

You can't just do television 'cause television evaporates.

And I pitched this idea.

"I quit, you quit.

We don't do the third year of the Show of Shows.

We do the first year

of a picture starring Sid Caesar,

a never-to-be-forgotten comedy

by that incredible comedy writer Mel Brooks."

And I convinced him.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: A month goes by.

He said, "I got bad news.

They offered me something I couldn't refuse.

A million dollars a season.

I'm big, but I'm not that big that I can say no to that."

He said, "I can get you a raise."

I said, "I don't want a raise. I want movies."

JUDD: So, your escape did not work.

MEL: No, no escape.

(INAUDIBLE)

MEL: The Show of Shows was good for me for three years

and good for Sid Caesar for three years.

And we were funny and brave and outrageous.

But we went on, we did that show for nine years

until we were no longer welcome

and we no longer really had any enthusiasm

for the material.

If you get stuck in any kind of a hit,

that in itself is a trap.

You must have the courage

to break out

and really discover

the parameters of your own creativity,

your own talent.

Sid Caesar was a genius. He really was.

The harder you work, the more fierce the flame,

and the more quickly you are consumed

by that very flame.

So it's a very difficult thing to, uh...

He... he was used up.

JUDD: So, the show ended.

How much money were you making when the show ended?

-Five thousand. -JUDD: Wow.

-Five thousand a show. -JUDD: That's real money.

That was real money.

And then I wasn't working.

JUDD: And your salary went from 5,000 dollars

to 85 dollars a week.

MEL: Yep.

JUDD: I heard you had to stop your analysis

because you couldn't afford it anymore.

And then the car went out of control again.

-(BOTH LAUGH) -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

ALAN: As a writer,

you found success with Show of Shows.

I mean, great success.

And yet then... that all went. I mean, how did that affect you?

Um...

I cried.

I cried. I mean, I cried for two years.

Thanks, Lee. All I did was cry.

For two years, I did nothing but sob.

I mean, I was broke.

I mean, I didn't have a nickel.

NICHOLAS: My dad was very hungry for stardom.

He really wanted desperately to be a somebody,

not just to be a kind of industry success

in some, you know, abstract way,

but to be recognized and noticed and appreciated.

And my dad tended to express anxiety,

stress, uh, through anger.

And he became a very angry person,

very volatile mood-wise.

And it was difficult for my mom, you know,

trying to raise these babies.

And I think it just reached a point

where my dad was just,

frankly, so difficult to live with.

It was just intolerable.

♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: The marriage suffered because...

I was very difficult to live with.

'Cause I was just disgusted of...

a dead end to my creativity.

And I don't blame her for divorcing me and...

It was just...

hell living with me.

-I wasn't happy. -JUDD: You were just unhappy.

MEL: Very unhappy.

JUDD: What would she ask of you?

Like when she said, "Can you just do this?"

What would it be?

"All right, get home." Certainly get...

you know, "Don't stop for a drink anywhere."

-JUDD: Yeah. -"Get home."

-JUDD: Yeah. -Have dinner--

You know, six o'clock,

sit down with the kids and have dinner.

JUDD: Yeah.

And most of the time I could do that,

and sometimes I couldn't.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

-Carl, are you there? -HOST: Oh, yeah, he's there.

Where is-- You got a mic near, Carl?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Carl, tell us how it all began,

because it wasn't my fault at all.

It was all his doing.

-HOST: No kidding. -He was-- really.

CARL REINER: Are we interested

in the genesis of The 2000 Year Old Man?

-Yes. -CARL: Okay.

There was a show called We the People Speak

with Dan Seymour.

"We the People Speak."

They recreated the news, and I heard it one Sunday.

"Here's a man who was actually in Stalin's toilet,

and he heard Stalin say,

'Going to blow up the world Thursday.'"

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -I said, "Oh, what a good idea for a sketch."

I came and presented it to Max Liebman and Sid.

And they thought it was all right,

but they didn't do it.

And I was so sure it was a great idea.

Mel was sitting just as we're sitting,

you're sitting on a couch.

I was sitting on his left and I said,

"Here's a man who was actually

at the scene of the crucifixion,

2,000 years ago.

Is that not true, sir?"

And he said...

"Oh, boy," that's all he said.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

CARL: (OVER RECORDING) Those were the first words.

And I said,

"You were actually at the scene of the crucifixion."

MEL: Oh, what yelling, what yelling.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

At parties for the next ten years,

I had a little tape recorder, wire recorder.

I didn't want to lose these gems.

I wanted to be able to tell people, "Look what he said."

CARL: (OVER RECORDING) One, two, three, four. One, two.

Now, sir, are you telling us

that you actually knew Jesus Christ?

MEL: Yes, yes. Thin, nervous.

Used to come in the store for water.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-CARL: You had a store then? -MEL: Yeah, sure.

CARL: But remember, 1950 was five years after the war.

The Jews are pretty well maligned,

and he's doing a middle European Jewish accent.

CARL: (OVER RECORDING) Did you like him personally?

MEL: Lovely lad, nice, well-mannered.

I'd never know

if we figured he'd be a hit. Never.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And we figured that The 2000 Year Old Man

was only for Jews and non-antisemitic Gentiles.

Like you, sir.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

They did it for friends. They would do it at a party.

"Come on, do The 2000 Year Old Man."

And they'd just do schtick, and they'd record it sometimes.

It would be on tape recording,

but they just did it for themselves.

And at one party,

Steve Allen was there,

and he said, "You know, you guys,

you gotta put this on record. Put it on record."

Let's have a nice hand for Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks.

Here they are.

ROB REINER: And that was the first 2000 Year Old Man.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I feel indeed fortunate

to be able to discuss with a man tonight

his history.

And it is fortunate because this man

is actually 2,001 years old.

He came to us a year ago from the Middle East.

He went to the Mayo Clinic.

They tested him and it was proved

that he has lived for 2,000 years.

He is 2,001 now,

and I'd like for him to say hello to you

and tell us about the world as he has seen it.

The 2000 Year Old Man.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Sir, I am applauding you

because you have lived this long.

Hello there.

(LAUGHS)

-Would you sit down, sir? -How are you? Nice to see you.

-Nice to see you. -How old are you?

-Well, I am just 39. -You're a punk. All right.

(LAUGHS)

Yes. Well, sir, you are 2,001 now, isn't it?

Two thousand and one years young,

how we say, not to curse ourselves.

CARL: Yes, you don't use the word old, I see.

-Old? No... -CARL: It frightens you.

...because we're too close to end there.

I see. Well, you're not an old man.

You don't look like an old man to me, sir.

No, I keep myself young, and I keep it by exercise.

-Exercising. -Yes, that's the key to my door.

(LAUGHS)

The key to your door to health, you're trying to say.

-To health, yes. -I see.

Thanks for the ending of that. Yes.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I met Mel when I was, I think, four or five.

That was the first time I ever met Mel.

Yeah, Mel was gonna come visit.

You know, at night, he was coming in,

and he was gonna visit for the weekend.

And the night before, my dad says to me...

-"There's gonna be a man..." -"There's a man..."

"...seated in that little alcove,

so, don't be frightened."

"And just don't get nervous."

"The man is a friend, so, in the morning,

don't wake him up if you see him."

About 6:00 in the morning or 7:00 or 8:00, I heard...

"Is that the man?"

-"That's the man." -"That the man?"

"That's the man. That's the man."

"I think that's the man."

"Mom said don't wake up the man."

And Mel's eyes open,

and he sees these two little kids.

"Are you the man? You're the man, right?"

And then he went to poke a finger in his eye.

He goes, "I'm up. I'm the man. I'm the man. I'm up. I'm up."

(CHUCKLES) That's...

So, to me, that's who Mel was.

He was the man. He was the man at age four.

-CARL: Sir Isaac Newton. -MEL: I knew him.

-CARL: You knew him? -MEL: Oh, sure.

ROB: My father was like a second banana.

He never felt he needed to be the star.

Mel is the star.

Of all the discoveries of all time...

ROB: My dad felt very comfortable

feeding the star.

-...fire? -Fire, fire, far and away fire.

Fire was the hottest thing going.

-Fire, you can't beat fire. -Really?

Fire used to warm us and light up our caves,

so we wouldn't walk into a wall,

so we wouldn't marry our brother Bernie.

Fire.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

And cooking. Oh, fire. You can't beat fire.

When did they first learn to cook with fire?

-It was an accident. -Really?

-That was an accident. -It was?

A chicken. Chicken walked into the fire by mistake and...

(SPUTTERS, BLOWS RASPBERRY) And over.

Burnt. Burnt up.

-What, a pet chicken? -Yes. We didn't use them.

We kept them around the cave as pets.

We loved to hear... (IMITATES CHICKEN) ...We loved that.

(CHUCKLES) Okay, ladies and gents.

So, we took it out to give it a funeral,

you know, and bury it 'cause it was a pet.

And we all went... (SNIFFS) "Hey, that smells good."

So, we ate him up,

and since then we've been eating chickens.

You know, I've heard this story, but I've heard that the animal

that wandered into the fire accidentally

was a pig.

Not in my cave.

-(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

He would push Mel into a corner,

and that would make Mel...

explode with creativity and humor.

Two thousand years ago,

what was the main means of transportation?

-ROB: He talks about... -Fear.

ROB: ...fear.

-Fear. -Fear?

An animal would growl and give your leg a bite,

-you'd run a mile in a minute. -So, fear transports you?

-Fear kept you moving, Charlie. -I see.

That fear is the main motivator for what he does.

The fear of not being funny,

the fear of not being liked, whatever the fear is.

And because of that, he becomes a lovable person.

INTERVIEWER: The Jewish timing

dictated most of modern comedy.

MEL: Yeah, you know, it has to do with fear.

-INTERVIEWER: Yeah. -MEL: There's a great energy

that fear can create.

Is that guy coming for me?

Is that... Is that a fucking swastika?

You know, the-- like fear.

It's always lurking.

-INTERVIEWER: Yeah, yeah. -MEL: So, I mean, and it creates an energy, you know.

Fight or flight is right there for every Jew.

Yeah, how about an anthem?

-We had a national anthem. -What was the anthem?

Well, you see, it was very fragmented.

-Yes. Yes. -But it wasn't nations.

It was caves. Each cave had a national anthem.

INTERVIEWER: Yes. Well, do you remember

the national anthem of your cave?

♪ Let them all go to hell Except Cave 76 ♪

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I had 2000 Year Old Man. I had that.

I listened to it all the time as a kid.

That voice he had was

100 percent like every uncle I had

in Fort Lauderdale when I would swim in the pool.

There were like 40 Mel voices coming at you

from every one of my father's friends.

I had the box set in my car in high school

and that patter and that rhythm really got in deep for me.

And eventually when we did Oh, Hello...

You got the chills? Are you sick?

No, I got the chills

from your magnificent performance.

NICK KROLL: So much of it is based on Carl Reiner,

Mel Brooks.

You know, I have mesothelioma.

-How did you get it? -From a commercial.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Did you practice polygamy in those days?

I never practiced it. I was perfect at it.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

NICK: You watch two people so in sync

to the absolute pinnacle of what they could be,

and you feel the spark of improvisation in there.

It was absolutely the worst thing that ever happened to me.

-Why? -I used to come home from work

and I'd open that door and I'd hear,

"You're late for supper, supper, supper, supper, supper."

I was obsessed and mystified

by how did they do that?

How did-- He just talks.

Carl Reiner just interviews him as this character,

and he has all these funny things to say.

We didn't--

We were trying to figure out where funny came from.

Robin Hood, did he exist?

-A real person. -Really?

A real person with long hair and a green sunsuit,

and he ran around in the forest with a band of merry gentlemen.

JERRY SEINFELD: Here's what we didn't understand...

So, had he lived today,

he would have been a dress designer.

JERRY: When two very funny people...

Genghis Khan.

Genghis Cohen was his real name.

JERRY: ...look into each other's eyes...

-For what reason? -Business purposes.

JERRY: ...it's like a third universe is created

just because they're together

and they're so happy to be together.

How long have you had that cane?

I've had this cane for three years.

-Who gave it to you? -I went to the opera

and I came home with it.

Are you trying to say you stole?

JUDD: Is that the first time the public saw you perform?

Just wipe it off just like that. That's wonderful.

MEL: No. The first appearance...

You missed a fingerprint over there.

Thank you so much, kid. That's fine.

MEL: ...it was on The Milton Berle Show. It was crazy.

And it was years before I got on to TV again.

And I don't know why I was on TV again.

Maybe because of Carl.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

That's an antisocial act.

-Well, that's me. -(LAUGHS)

Antisocial act.

MEL: Carl was a natural straight man in the world.

He had opportunities to score. He never did.

He always threw the big punchlines,

the big jokes to me. Always...

-He was so kind. -JUDD: Why was he so kind?

I don't know.

It was just a fault of his nature. You know...

JUDD: It's a thing you do at parties.

You put out the record without expectation.

MEL: Right.

JUDD: And was it something that was like

saving your ass in some way that this party--

No, no saving any.

We just... joy, the joy of doing it.

-JUDD: Yeah. -And having people

grab their stomachs, tumble over,

and fall on the ground.

-JUDD: Yeah. -That was worth everything.

-JUDD: Yeah. -Carl, I used to knock Carl down

-once in a while. -JUDD: Yep.

By the way, how long have you been wearing this suit?

This is not a suit from 2,000 years ago.

-No, no. -This is a modern suit. Yes.

This is a new suit. Yes, I had this 100 years.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-Yeah, about 100 years. -It looks rather well, sir.

-Is it really a-- -What's this year?

This year is 18-- 1961.

-Get out of there. -Yes.

-It is? -It is.

I bought this suit

in the beginning of the Civil War in 1861.

I bought canned goods and this suit

to get through the war, I knew I'd have something.

Yes. Well, I don't like to doubt you, sir, because...

-That's all right. -...the Mayo Clinic has said

-that you are 2,000-- -Yes, they've authenticated me.

-Yes. -Yes.

But how can we authenticate the suit?

Take a look at the tag.

Read the tag. Read it to the people.

-"This suit is 100 years old." -That's what it is.

-(LAUGHING) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Well, who put that tag in there, sir?

When I bought it, I did,

because I knew I would get these questions.

Well, if you put that tag in there,

you knew it would last a hundred years.

JUDD: Did it strike you at the time,

like, how weird that this is the thing,

The 2000 Year Old Man,

that broke the whole thing through?

Did it seem surprising?

Yeah, well, it was surprising to me.

I said, "Funny that,

you know, that this strange little Jewish character

would be my way

to comedy fame.

INTERVIEWER: Now to our story with Mel Brook,

whose-- Mel Brooks,

whose new hit funny record is 2000 Years with Carl Reiner.

MEL: Here, this one.

INTERVIEWER: Just how and when

did the desire to be a funny man hit you?

MEL: You're not interested in the psychodynamics

-of why somebody becomes funny. -INTERVIEWER: Yeah.

-MEL: I just tell you, funny. -INTERVIEWER: You could've been a shoe salesman.

-MEL: I could've been. -INTERVIEWER: You could've been a dentist.

You could've been all kinds of things. You decided to be a funny man.

-You wanted people to laugh at you. -MEL: I decided... Yes.

INTERVIEWER: Why?

MEL: Because I was little and I thought

that the-- that I could overcompensate

by getting love this way,

because I wasn't tall and blonde,

because I was short and ugly,

and I thought I'd get my love that way.

INTERVIEWER: Your family loved you, didn't they?

MEL: Well, what does that mean to me? My family is nothing.

INTERVIEWER: You wanted--

MEL: I wanted the love of strangers, if you know what I mean.

-Would you like to hear a cat? -INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh.

MEL: (IMITATES CAT SHRIEKING) That's a cat.

-INTERVIEWER: How about a dog? -MEL: A dog? Ruff.

He is the original 2000 Year Old Man.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome my co-host,

Mr. Mel Brooks.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MEL: But this was not a great time for me

as far as making money was concerned.

My only income

was from the 2000 Year Old Man record

and a couple of TV appearances.

MEL: I was with the 1104th Engineer Combat Battalion.

JOHNNY CARSON: I'm surprised we won the war

with you over there.

MEL: I was on the very first Tonight Show,

starring Johnny Carson.

MEL: Did the shoot open or are you just short all the time?

You cannot write a love letter with a ballpoint.

MEL: I took almost any job I could get.

MEL: (AS ANNOUNCER) If you must express yourself, get a Bic Banana.

MEL: Even doing the voiceover for a commercial.

CAMERA ASSISTANT: Take 27.

MEL: And a Ballantine Beer commercial

with Dick Cavett.

DICK CAVETT: (OVER RECORDING) We're here at the beer festival,

and the 2,500 year old brew master

has tasted all the beers.

Can you tell us, sir, which one tasted best?

MEL: (WITH GERMAN ACCENT) Well, unfortunately,

just before I came to the beer festival,

I was at the garlic festival,

and I can't tell the difference between beer and coffee.

(DICK LAUGHS)

MEL: (WITH NORMAL ACCENT) You can use some of that, right?

It's possible that I first met him

when we did the Ballantine Beer commercials.

Yeah, that had to be it

because I remember where there was a studio

and he pronounced me to be spectacularly gentile.

DICK: Here's a Neanderthal man right here

wearing some typical caveman clothes.

MEL: Yes, you'll notice the two darts in the side.

Those darts were hurled at me by Murray the Maniac.

He lives in the next cave.

DICK: Could it be something you said?

MEL: Well, I did call him a son of a bitch.

(MEL AND DICK LAUGH)

JUDD: You were rewriting Ladies' Man

for Jerry Lewis.

MEL: Yeah. I was warned.

They said he's a tough guy to work for.

He's very demanding.

I said, "I can... I work with Sid Caesar.

I can handle anybody."

But I really couldn't handle Jerry.

-He was-- -JUDD: Frustrating work.

It was very frustrating because...

I'd say, "Jerry, that's... that's a good joke.

I know jokes. It's my life.

I know what works. I know what gets laughs."

And... But I couldn't do it anymore.

JUDD: Yeah.

MEL: I couldn't take "No" anymore.

I came out to Hollywood to write a movie.

I was at Universal Studios.

There was another bungalow. We were working in a bungalow.

And on the top of the bungalow, it said, "Grant Art."

I said, "What does that mean? What the hell is Grant Art?"

He said, "Well, that's Cary Grant's company.

Grant Art, Grant Art."

I said, "Does Cary Grant ever come to that bungalow?"

He said, "Yeah, sure."

I'm walking down the steps, and I hear,

(IMITATES CARY GRANT) "Well, I don't believe it.

It's Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks, is that you?"

I said, "Oh my God. Oh my God. It's Cary Grant.

He's talking to me. I heard my name."

He said,

"I've spent a thousand dollars yesterday buying your record.

I've sent your records to all my friends.

It's the funniest damn record I've ever heard in my life.

I can't-- (SPEAKS GIBBERISH)"

And he said, "Come on, what are you doing?"

I said, "Well, I'm going into the lunchroom there."

He said, "Oh, the commissary, yeah,

come with me, bud, I'll buy you lunch."

"Oh my God, Cary Grant is going to buy me lunch."

(EXCLAIMS)

So, we go to the commissary together.

I walked past the guy, my friend Murray.

I said, "Murray, me and Cary are going to lunch."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

We left together and he said, walking down the path,

he said, "What's your favorite color?"

I said, "Blue." He said, "Yellow."

I said, "Yellow is yours, blue is mine."

"What's your favorite car?" I said, "A Buick."

He said, "A Rolls Royce." I said, "That's nice."

And we talked like that, you know.

He goes to Grant Art, I go to Schwartz.

Go into the bungalow. Everything is gone.

Next day. Ring.

"Is Mel Brooks there?" "Yeah, he's there."

"It's Cary Grant."

"It's Cary Grant for me." "Right. We, uh, going to lunch?"

"Yes, Cary. I'll meet you just outside."

"Okay, buddy." "Okay, pal."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

"We going to lunch?" Cary Grant walking around. "How you doing?"

"What do you like, double-breasted?

I like single-breasted, yeah."

"I like a red tie, you like a blue tie.

Isn't that great?

I love your hair. You like my hair?

Great, okay."

We go in, he has a boiled egg. I have a tuna fish sandwich.

We finish lunch.

Next day. Ring. "Mel, Car!"

Now, this time, by this time, we meet outside.

We're skipping to the lunchroom.

-(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Me and Cary Grant,

Mel Brooks and Cary Grant, we're holding hands.

We-- We don't know what to do for each other.

We don't know what to say to each other.

Anyway, let me tell you the punchline.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Comes Friday.

The phone rings.

It's Cary Grant. I said, "I'm not in."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Doctor, how do you know you've met the right one?

Well, you know when somebody's old enough, if you don't have to say,

"George, put your rattle down, we're eating now."

Seriously, how do you know you've met the right one?

You don't, um,

and that's why it's so difficult.

Theodore Reich said-- Excuse me. Theodore Reich said

that we marry each other

because we envy those traits in our partners and wish to,

you know, actually make them

part of our own character makeup.

And, so, we marry,

hoping to inculcate

their strange profile.

Marriage is really...

a good marriage should be

a good blend of the concavities and convexities

of our different emotional profiles

and our different character traits.

I'll tell you later at home, folks.

I don't want to get in the way.

Let's get back to the subject, shall we?

People get married...

-We love it. -Stop that!

People get married to keep them out of jail.

HOST: Oh, I see.

Because you're aroused and you get a little crazy,

you get married and it's legal.

-Now, seriously, I find that-- -(HOST LAUGHS LOUDLY)

Seriously, folks.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Dr. Brothers, the age-old question,

how do you know when you're in love?

-Uh, we... -MEL: I know.

Can I answer that?

Just that. Just that.

You know when you know?

I'll tell you when you know when you're in love.

When your knees turn to jelly, and you begin to tremble,

and there's cotton in your mouth,

and you begin to shake and you begin to vibrate...

-HOST: You're over 65 then. -...and you begin to throb.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -MEL: You're right.

I think I was describing Parkinson's disease.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

What do you feel constitutes a good marriage?

Love.

-I'm serious. -Yeah. Okay.

-That's absolutely true. -Yes.

-I really think you have to-- -Like is important, too.

Oh, like is very important, but I mean,

I really feel that when you love someone,

like is an ingredient of love.

Exactly. And I...

-(CHUCKLES) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-HOST: You did that so well. -(CHUCKLES)

HOST: Well, where did you and Mel first meet?

Um...

I was working with a guy called Charles Strouse

and Lee Adams,

and we were doing a show on Broadway

that didn't really make it.

It wasn't so bad.

It wasn't so good.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: It was called All American, starring Ray Bolger.

Charles Strouse said, "Come with me,

I have to go to a Perry Como rehearsal."

And there on stage, in a white dress,

is Anne Bancroft.

-♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -♪ It's not my cup of tea ♪

♪ They won't throw rice at me ♪

♪ For a while yet ♪

♪ I have no plan to wed ♪

♪ Be resolutely led ♪

♪ Down the aisle yet ♪

♪ With a smile yet ♪

♪ When the organ plays Oh, promise me ♪

♪ I will be an absentee ♪

♪ For the months I choose to be fancy free ♪

♪ They can throw old shoes ♪

♪ But they won't ♪

♪ (MUSIC TURNS UPBEAT) ♪

♪ Hit ♪

♪ Me ♪

ANNE BANCROFT: I was singing "Married I Could Always Get."

♪ I live the life That I'm used to ♪

He was in the audience, and I was singing that,

and then he stood up and he said,

"Anne Bancroft? I'm Mel Brooks."

And I think she said, "Who gives a shit?"

I don't know, I'm not sure how she responded.

♪ Married, I can always... ♪

And then he followed me everywhere I went

for the next five days.

Where does she eat? Where does she go?

Where does she...?

Every night that week,

I checked on where she would be.

"Anne, I'm there at the Village--"

I'd show up at a restaurant she was at,

or a nightclub.

"Anne, every night--"

What the hell is going...

(HESITATES) I would end up everywhere she was.

I said, "It's kismet."

She said, "You're following me, it's not kismet.

You're following me.

No kismet here."

♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNE: No matter where I said I was going,

he said he was going there.

It just went on and on.

The man never left me alone. Thank God.

♪ Married ♪

♪ Give me the single life ♪

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

JUDD: Right away, you thought, "I've met my match."

Yeah.

JUDD: And it's like where someone just gets you?

Yeah, she got... Exactly.

Eee...

-You said it. -JUDD: Yeah.

You said it.

-JUDD: Was she as funny as you? -She got me, she gets me.

JUDD: It seems like she was crazy funny.

She was crazy funny.

JUDD: Yeah.

(SIGHS)

-♪ (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -♪ Hey, hey, hey Time after time ♪

♪ I tell myself That I am lucky ♪

♪ To be loving you ♪

Don't be afraid, I don't fool around.

CARL: Remember Annie, remember Annie.

I had a tennis tournament,

and there was a guy named Don Meredith

in the audience,

and Mel Brooks got up to perform,

and Anne Bancroft was in the audience.

Don said it for all people.

He looked at Mel, he looked at Anne,

and he just said...

"I don't get that deal."

And most people just didn't get that deal.

But Mel and Anne, when they met,

it was just the opposite.

MEL: ♪ Time after time ♪.

♪ I tell myself that I... ♪

She came from the Bronx. I came from Brooklyn.

We both like scrambled eggs. Everything was terrific.

When were you aware that he, as he claims,

was in love with you instantly?

When was I aware that he was in love with me instantly?

INTERVIEWER: Yeah, that he had fallen in love--

This moment. I had no idea

that he was in love with me instantly.

INTERVIEWER: No, that's what he said, that he--

Oh, no, I was in love with him instantly.

-Really? Well, then both-- Yeah. -Instantly.

Because, you see, he looked like my father,

and he acted like my mother.

♪ So lucky to be loving ♪

Higher, higher.

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) ♪ Time after time ♪

♪ It's always you ♪

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

I knew the moment that I saw him that I was going to marry him.

I was madly in love

and I was going to marry that man.

But the thing about Mel is

that Mel is so funny and he knows all the answers,

but he's so vulnerable.

He's like a child every once in a while.

No, don't cry. Promise me you won't cry.

-That's true. Yes. Yes. Yes. -INTERVIEWER: But it's true.

And you think Mel Brooks,

when you're with somebody as witty

and as bright and sharp as Mel,

it's a little frightening every once in a while.

And you sit down with him.

I've never known anybody that's more interested

or more caring about other people than him.

Yeah. He's a very, very sweet man.

NICHOLAS: When my dad met Anne,

I did see my dad.

You know, to my mom's credit,

she never shut him out of our lives.

So, he would come to visit two, three, four times a week.

He would take us, you know, to the park or the movies

and, uh, spend time with us.

But my parents separated when I was like, six months old.

-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -So, when I was, like, three...

and my mother remarried,

I had this stepfather, Ed, right?

Uh...

I thought he was my dad,

you know?

Now, there was this other guy

that came to take Steffie and Nicky out.

And I knew that was their father,

but... my father was Ed.

And then my mother sat me down and said...

"Oh, Ed's not your father.

Mel's your father."

I was like, "You mean the twitchy guy?"

You know?

MAX BROOKS: And when my mother met him,

she understood that he comes with three kids.

So, when he left work,

there was going to be a couple hour delay

before he got home

because he always stopped to see those kids

before he came home.

But when they moved in together,

he was on his ass.

He had nothing.

My father didn't have a pot to piss in

when my mother met him.

He talks about how one time

they were at a Chinese restaurant,

and she'd slip him money under the table to pay,

so he could still be the man.

And he tipped,

and he tipped a little bit too much.

And she kicked him under the table and said,

"Oh, you're really generous with my money."

And...

my mother tells the story that...

when she started dating him,

someone else from the Show of Shows,

who resented my dad,

said, "Oh, I understand you're dating Mel.

You know he's over. Never going to work again."

Which everybody felt.

So, he was done.

And my mother saw something in him

and took care of him.

INTERVIEWER: When you were struggling,

really, not so successful,

at that time,

a lot of men really don't like it

if the woman is making more money than them,

if the woman is more successful than them.

How did you cope? Did you cope?

I didn't like it. I'm going to tell you the truth.

I didn't like it.

I didn't like her being the breadwinner.

I wanted to be the breadwinner. And it bothered me.

It bothered me financially, not artistically,

because she was a great artist,

and I didn't think, really, that her...

her great art should be, um..

hidden under a bushel,

or I should deprive the world of that.

But the money bothered me.

We would often go out to dinner when I was broke.

I didn't have a penny, a sou, mind you,

and she'd have to pay.

Even The 2000 Year Old Man,

the records I made with Carl Reiner,

didn't really make a lot of money for a while

until they caught on.

And so, I was penniless for a while,

and Anne kept me going.

Those were pretty rough days, very rough for me.

It was heartbreaking that, you know, but...

Finally, Get Smart happened with Don Adams.

I began to make some money.

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86.

86, report to headquarters immediately.

Just a minute. Who is this?

Get in here, Max,

or I'll personally tear you apart.

That's good enough for me, Chief.

I'll be right over.

How did Get Smart come about?

Well, we wanted to do, Buck Henry and I,

who's the co-creator of Get Smart...

This is 86 reporting into control.

MEL: We wanted to do something about...

Allow me, Princess.

MEL: ...the James Bond thing.

But we wanted to have an inept agent.

A stumblebum agent.

-99? -Yes, 86?

Put plan 49K into effect immediately.

That's 49K.

Somebody who would screw a silencer in

and make a louder sound.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: We got Don Adams and it's...

Actually, Chief, I don't think

I'll be needing the smoke pellet.

Would you believe it's a hit?

MEL: Get Smart freed me from the tyranny

of having to do like the Victor Borge special.

And I didn't want my agent to call me and say,

"Mitzi Gaynor needs a big joke," you know?

(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

Because she just wasn't Sid Caesar.

Let's face it.

♪ (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: So, Get Smart came along, paid the rent for a while.

I was able to marry Anne.

I was able to write The Producers

on the side.

The Producers was called "Springtime for Hitler."

That was its original title.

JUDD: And in that period after the war,

before Your Show of Shows,

didn't you work for a producer at that time?

I worked for Benjamin Kutcher.

JUDD: Is that what The Producers is based on?

MEL: Based on that guy.

(MOANING)

-Mr. Bialystock? Mr. Bialystock? -MEL: I knocked at the door

-and I entered. -Oh, how do you do? Oh my God.

He said, "What are you doing?

We're busy here."

Don't you just say oops and get out.

(HESITATES)

MEL: Wait for "Enter"

before you stumble in and destroy everything.

-(DOOR SLAMS) -(GIGGLES)

-MEL: And then Mr. Kutcher, he says... -Oops.

Who are you? What do you want?

Why are you loitering in my hallway?

Speak, dummy, speak!

"Tell me, what did you see when you first came in?"

"What did I see? Nothing.

I saw nothing. I didn't see a thing."

Come in, Mr. Tech.

MEL: So, I took from life and threw it right in.

JUDD: Was he shady?

Oh, yeah, oh.

He was Mr. Shady.

Don't forget the checky.

Can't produce plays without checky.

You can count on me.

MEL: Every day,

there'd be three or four little old ladies

who could just about manage to get up the steps.

He would invariably

make love to them on a cracked leather couch.

And they'd always write out

a check to his current production,

which was always named "Cash."

That was the name of his current play,

-"Cash." They'd come with-- -HOST: Cash the Musical.

Cash the Musical, Cash the Drama,

Cash the Comedy. It was always "Cash."

Is it all right? I made it out to "Cash."

You didn't tell me the name of the play.

Fine. Fine. Good. Good.

MEL: And he was the character that was in my mind.

Call me Max.

You know, I don't let everybody call me Max.

It's only those people I like.

MEL: And I was the Leo Bloom, the little caterpillar.

-And you can call me Leo. -I already have.

MEL: Then I began to write it as that.

LEO: I want everything I've ever seen in the movies!

MEL: And the movie is the result of a dream that came true.

LEO: I'll do it!

By God, I'll do it!

He'll do it! He'll do it!

♪ (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Now, you're a writer and you're a director.

Yes, I've written and directed a new motion flick

called The Producers,

starring Zero Mostel and introducing Gene Wilder.

-Gene Wilder? -Yes, I liked him immediately.

He was talented and he worked for a dollar-eighty.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

INTERVIEWER: I would have thought

a watershed in your career came

when you met Mel Brooks.

Did you see it

as an important meeting right away?

(LAUGHS)

INTERVIEWER: What's so funny?

-(LAUGHS) -(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

When God spoke to Moses the first time, if you ask him,

"Was that significant in your life?"

(LAUGHS)

INTERVIEWER: It was like that, was it?

Yes, when the bush actually went on fire.

(LAUGHS)

I would say it had some minor importance, yes.

(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS)

It's absolutely amazing.

But under the right circumstances,

a producer could make more money with a flop

than he could with a hit.

The Producers is a story about

a producer and an accountant.

Yes.

MEL: And they devise a scheme,

and their scheme is to produce a flop.

A-ha! So, in order for this scheme to work,

we'd have to find a surefire flop.

What scheme?

So, they're looking for the worst play in the world.

How do you make the worst play in the world?

First, you gotta get the worst script in the world.

"Springtime for Hitler."

"A gay romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden."

-Wow. -Wow.

MEL: I loved the idea. I loved the idea.

Hello, boys.

Can make more money with a flop than you can with a hit. Boom.

What do you want?

Relax, relax, Mr. Liebkind. We're not from the government.

We came here to talk about your play.

My play?

You mean Springtime for... you know who?

-MAX: Yes. -What about it?

DANA GOULD: When they were getting ready to make The Producers...

We love it. We think it's a masterpiece.

That's why we're here.

We wish to produce it on Broadway.

...Dustin Hoffman was signed to play the playwright.

(EXCLAIMS) Oh, joy of joys.

-DANA: And Mel told me... -Oh, dream of dreams.

I'm in my apartment and I hear, "Mel! Mel!"

And I look down onto Bleecker Street,

and there's Dustin Hoffman.

I open the window. I go, "Hey, what's going on?"

And he goes,

"I might have a problem with The Producers."

And I go, "Why? What's the problem?"

He goes, "Well, they're flying me out to the coast,

and I'm going to audition for a Mike Nichols movie."

And I go, "The one Anne's in?"

He goes, "Yeah."

I go, "What-- What role?"

He goes, "The lead."

And I think, "Oh, well, just let me know. Good luck."

And I closed the window and I thought,

"I'm not worried."

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me.

(LAUGHS)

Aren't you?

But we got Kenny Mars. (LAUGHS)

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JUDD: How'd you study up to even know

how to be a director?

MEL: I didn't. I didn't do a thing.

I just said,

"I'm going to say... 'Action' and see what happens."

I only need one word. Courage.

The courage to do it.

I was just a traffic cop.

I mean, I did very little directing.

With Gene, I did very soft and quiet lying

and told him that he was a genius

and that we were so fortunate to have him.

And then I would go to Zero and I would scream,

"Without you, we're finished!"

(SCREAMS, GASPS) My--

My blanket, my blue blanket! Give me my blue blanket!

(BABBLING)

MATTHEW BRODERICK: Gene was, aside from being

just the greatest at everything,

he was particularly good at any kind of hysterics.

(WHINGING)

Nobody can do that.

I mean, you can't really touch it.

-At least I can't, you know? -And famously, they were filming

that scene, the blue blanket scene...

I'm wet.

I'm wet.

I'm hysterical and I'm wet.

I'm in pain and I'm wet.

Mel decided, you know,

it was just a little small budget film and they--

you know, and he said, at the end of the day,

they had been filming all day, he said,

"We're gonna try to do the scene in the office."

And Gene was like,

"Oh, Mel, can we wait and do it in the morning when I'm fresh?

I'm so tired. I don't think I have the energy to do that."

And he sent out for candy bars.

He gave him a lot of coffee and candy bars,

and then they shot that scene.

I'm an honest man. You don't understand.

No, Bloom, you don't understand. This is fate!

This is destiny! This is kismet!

There's no avoiding it.

Mr. Bialystock, not more than five minutes ago,

I doctored your books.

MEL: It wasn't in the script originally,

but when Gene fell, I yelled down at him.

(YELLING) Oh!

I want that money!

-MEL: Say... -Ooh, I fell on my keys.

It's nonsense. It doesn't help the movie.

-But it's so unique. -(JUDD CHUCKLES)

And so... Why would he confer?

Why would he tell us?

So, I decided to split the difference between

smart comedy and cheap comedy.

-JUDD: Yeah. -And cheap always won.

(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

This is bedlam. Bedlam!

We must have some order!

-(INDISTINCT CLAMOR) -(ROGER DE BRIS YELLING)

Will the dancing Hitlers please wait in the wings?

We are only seeing singing Hitlers.

(GROUP GROANING)

INTERVIEWER: Well, you're a famous writer,

and you're a great composer, too.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

It's nothing, but I mean it's nothing.

INTERVIEWER: No, you wrote that Vinerian masterpiece,

which is called "Springtime for Hitler."

Yes, it's... (LAUGHS)

INTERVIEWER: Maybe you could sing it for the French TV viewers, no?

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ Germany was having trouble ♪

Yeah, that's it.

♪ (SINGING IN FRENCH) ♪ Okay, Germany.

♪ Germany was having trouble What a sad, sad story ♪

♪ Needed a new leader To restore its former glory ♪

♪ Where or where was he? Where could that man be? ♪

♪ We looked around Until we found ♪

♪ The man for you and me ♪

♪ And now it's... ♪

♪ Springtime for Hitler ♪

♪ And Germany ♪

♪ Deutschland is happy and gay ♪

♪ We're marching To a faster pace ♪

♪ Look out Here comes the master race ♪

MEL: What makes The Producers work

is humanity.

Bloom is a caterpillar,

afraid to become a butterfly.

He's scared, like a lot of people are scared.

He's the hidden ego.

And then you got this other character,

who's a monster,

but he's beloved.

He's the id, he's the animal.

And that's Max Bialystock.

And they need each other, they're symbiotic,

they help each other.

And that's really the love story.

♪ ("SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER" BY MEL BROOKS PLAYING) ♪

♪ I was born in Dusseldorf ♪

♪ And that is why They call me Rolf ♪

♪ Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi party ♪

MEL: And then, of course,

you add a brushstroke of Hitler to anything.

It's magic.

♪ Springtime for Hitler And Germany ♪

♪ U-boats are sailing Once more ♪

Well! Talk about bad taste.

♪ Springtime for Hitler ♪

♪ And Germany ♪

♪ Means that soon We'll be going ♪

♪ We've got to be going ♪

♪ You know we'll be going ♪

♪ To war ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLDUES) ♪

-(CHEERRING) -(ANGRY CHATTER)

JUDD: After World War II,

did people make fun of Hitler in that way?

No.

I think I was the only one doing it.

You know?

I don't know why I should be proud,

but I have a feeling of pride

when I say I was the only one doing Hitler jokes.

Did the importance of it come up later?

The significance of making fun of fascism and Nazis?

MEL: No.

Or did you know the whole time, like,

this is significant to do this?

It's significant to do it because it got a lot of laughs.

I made a comedy

and they're laughing.

-JUDD: Mm-hmm. -Therefore,

maybe I can continue

to make comedies.

That's what I wanted to do.

MEL: (OVER RECORDING) I really do want to be a writer.

I feel that I have made some minor contributions

in that direction.

Before I die,

I would like to make a lot of noise.

And you really can't make noise

if you fit into prescribed grooves.

You really have to be a little dangerous.

So hence, "Springtime for Hitler."

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

NICHOLAS: The Producers premiered in early 1968,

in Philadelphia.

And it was a big movie house.

And, um, we were it.

There were only two people,

two other humans in the theater

when we saw The Producers.

One was a tall old man in a raincoat,

and the other was a woman

surrounded by a kind of phalanx,

a fortress of shopping bags.

And when the lights came on...

the old man was asleep

and the old lady with the shopping bags

was gone.

And I said to myself at the time,

"Oh, my God,

this is not just a flop,

but... a kind of epic failure."

INTERVIEWER: The Producers is now regarded by most people as a classic,

but when it was first released,

the critics weren't so nice to it, right?

MEL: Yes. One bad review.

You never forget it.

You always do.

In your heart of hearts, you always agree

with the most negative reviews because you know you're a fake.

You know you're a fraud. You know you're no good.

You know what I mean? And they just point that out and you say,

"Right, you caught me, you son of a bitch."

-(INTERVIEWER LAUGHS) -You know?

And it's true. I mean, you never...

One part of you is arrogant,

but then there is the other pendulum swing

that brings you, you know,

down to your worst paranoid fears,

that you really were never meant to do it,

that you're not gifted,

that you have no talent, you know.

The night The Times came out,

my wife, Anne, and I were sitting...

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUES) ♪

...and crying,

holding each other's hands.

I said, "Look,

I was a hit writer in television."

"I can always go back to television,"

you know?

Yeah.

She slapped me and she said, "Don't.

That's a great movie.

And you created great characters,

Bialystok and Bloom, they'll live forever.

Now you just keep making those movies.

You stop making the movies, I drop you like a stone."

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: Somehow, Peter Sellers took out a review.

He said, "This is the greatest comedy ever..."

He went on and on about it.

Two full pages, it cost him a lot of money.

And then the word of mouth jumped right in.

-Word of mouth was great. -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

FRANK SINATRA: For the best story and screenplay

written directly for the screen,

the winner is Mel Brooks for The Producers.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

I didn't trust myself in case I won,

so I wrote a couple of things here.

I want to thank the Academy of Arts,

Sciences, and Money

-for this wonderful award. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Um... Well, I'll just say what's in my heart.

Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Tonight our show is called, "How to Be a Jewish Son,"

or "My Son the Success."

Um...

It should be an evening of fun. Now, about Jewish mothers.

Forget about Jewish mothers, let's talk about sharks.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

DAVID SUSSKIND: Sharks?

MEL: Let me tell you about my mother.

I like my mother.

I love my mother.

If I could...

I would go skinny dipping with my mother.

(GUESTS LAUGHING)

DAVID: But you're talking about-- What's it like being an...

Shut up, David. I mean...

(AUDIENCE AND GUEST LAUGHING)

Okay, go ahead.

When I introduced my mother to my present wife,

who is not Jewish,

-I said... -DAVID: Oh,. that must have been

-an interesting trauma... -Yes. I said, "Mom,

I want you to meet Annie," and, um...

She knew that my wife was Catholic and not Jewish.

And she said,

"Sit down, make yourself comfortable,

you know,

take a piece of fruit and relax,

and I'll be in the kitchen,

my head'll be in the oven

-if you need me." -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

She says it quietly, you know.

It was... a big disaster.

And then they came to know each other,

and my mother's head over heels in love with Annie,

and they're best friends now.

His wife is one of... the gracious,

beautiful, talented, Anne Bancroft.

It was nothing.

-But... -GUEST: Did she convert?

Did she convert? Are you kidding?

She don't have to convert. She's a star.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

GUEST: You changed your name, too.

MEL: I never changed my name.

-DAVID: Were you born Mel Brooks? -No, sir, I was not.

-DAVID: What were you born? -George M. Cohan.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -(GUESTS LAUGHING)

There was, you know, that cute...

I didn't want to run into trouble,

so I changed it for Brooks.

Actually, my mother's maiden name is Brookman,

so I took Brooks.

My father's name is Kaminsky, and I was Melvin Kaminsky,

and I played the drums, and I was booked on a date.

You remember Max Kaminsky, the trumpet player?

-DAVID: Yes, very well. -So, when I showed up, they said,

"Where's your trumpet?" I said, "I play drums."

And they had booked Max Kaminsky,

and they got me.

So, I figured Kaminsky with Kaminsky...

(BLOWS RASPBERRY) ...no good, right?

So, I was Brookman for a while,

but I couldn't get it all on a drum.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

So, I made it Brooks, Mel Brooks.

It was a dopey name.

Now, think of me now as a filmmaker.

Thirty-three years later, a filmmaker.

Ba-dum, ba-dum, Mel Brooks.

Now that's a dopey name for a filmmaker.

Mel Brooks is good for "Th--Th-- That's all, folks."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

That's a good name for that.

But for Kaminsky,

if I'd stuck to my original name...

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Kaminsky. (MUMBLING)

Would've been fantastic.

You look to me like a Muscovite.

Listen, tell me, who lived here in the old days?

Oh, in the old days was my master.

Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov.

He was a marshal of the nobility.

I loved him.

He hardly ever beat us.

Ah. Whatever became of your lovable master?

One night, about ten years ago, was a fearful noise.

It was bombs and cannons and soldiers shooting.

It was terrible, terrible.

Oh, yes.

I think it was called The Revolution.

-That was it. The Revolution. -♪ (SOFT GLOOMY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

You're smart.

You're smart and you're gorgeous.

You're okay.

Privately,

I'm ashamed to say this,

but when I saw the final cut of...

The Twelve Chairs...

♪ (SOFT GLOOMY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

...I said, "Mel...

you've created a masterpiece."

Why are you after my chair?

-It's not yours. -Then whose is it?

It's nationalized property.

-It belongs to the workers. -Did you say the workers?

MEL: The book was from two Russian writers,

Ilf and Petrov.

I remember it was Mel Tolkin on the Show of Shows.

He said to me,

"Somewhere in you is a bit of genius."

"You get near it and then you hide."

He said, "You got to let it all out.

You got to be brave."

"But what you're missing

are contemporaries of you and your mind."

He wanted me to read

a lot of Dostoevsky, Gogol, and Chekhov.

These, uh-- I always called them scholars.

They were probably street urchins like me,

but they came up with good,

solid comedy ideas.

So, it was Mel

who got me on the track of reading great writing.

Listen, scum, I want those chairs.

Do you hear me? I want those chairs!

PATTON OSWALT: The first time I saw Twelve Chairs,

I didn't know enough about Russian literature.

-I just thought... -Get out of here!

...this is a really funny movie. DeLuise is hilarious.

And then if you go and read

Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Gogol,

all these deep, dark Russian thinkers,

and you see Mel Brooks is dinging riffs

off of some of the darkest shit out there.

So, I think that movie goes a little bit unappreciated.

♪ (SOFT GLOOMY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

What can I tell you?

I could use a little gin in this,

I'll tell you the truth.

-The Twelve Chairs. -Yeah. That smells good.

The Twelve Chairs.

Twelve Chairs was a failure.

The Twelve Chairs was a failure, Tony.

-You wanna talk about it or not? -TONY BILBOW: Hmm.

And you're still nodding your head.

Look how he don't take a hint.

TONY: Why was it a failure?

It was a failure. It was too good.

Sometimes I'm terrific and sometimes I'm rotten.

You sure you want to stay with those mauve socks?

No offense, Tony.

They are mauve.

Either they're mauve or they're red that's gone...

Little borscht socks. Folks, I swear to God,

I'm not making it up. Here it is, borscht.

No offense. Yes, Tony. Do go on.

You ever see the guys,

you ever have interviews with these types? "Yes."

TONY: Always very intense.

You know, with your kind of introspection,

it's very difficult

to get to the heart of what really is Mel Brooks.

What am I really?

I'm a coalescence of vapor.

Sometimes, sometimes I think of myself...

as a wraith.

A wraith... make that a wreath.

It's easy to think 'cause if there's a...

you can hang a wreath, you can't hang a wraith.

Yes, well, it's hard.

I don't know what the essence of myself is,

but I know that everybody who loves me has good taste.

You know what I mean? (SMACKS)

And those who don't like me are tasteless bores.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: Here I was, a movie maker, right?

I'd made The Producers, I'd made The Twelve Chairs,

and I was starving to death

I mean, I was really low.

I was walking with my head down, and I heard a voice say,

"Hi Mel, looking for change?"

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: And I looked up and it was David Begelman.

He says, "What are you doing?" I said, "Zip. How's that?

I don't have a job."

He says, "I got a job for you." I said, "What?"

He says, "Andrew Bergman..."

He had written this outline for a screenplay called "Tex-Ex"

about a Black sheriff.

He said, "If you do it, I will get you 100,000 dollars."

I said, "David, I only do my own stuff.

I have pride.

I believe in my own art.

I'll do it."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Mel had done two flops and he couldn't get arrested.

I was a graduate student. I knew nothing from nothing.

Standard operating procedure is you fire the original writer.

That's just... that's traditional in Hollywood,

to get rid of that guy.

To Mel's credit,

He said, "No, let's see what happens."

I said, "Let me do it like the Show of Shows.

Let me get a gang of writers that I love and respect."

And I got...

The first writer I got was Richard Pryor.

INTERVIEWER: I don't know how you feel about the title of your album,

but I find it difficult to say.

You do? Most White people, it's hard to say "Crazy."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: We all had bagels and lox for breakfast.

Pryor had Rémy Martin.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

The title of the album is That Nigger's Crazy.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-Don't that nigga look crazy? -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

See, now, you can just say that on television.

-Yeah, look, it used to be... -If I said that, wouldn't you get mad?

I'd punch you out.

(INTERVIEW AND AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

And as funny as the picture was, that room was even funnier.

Richie Pryor and Mel Brooks,

it's like saying, "Okay, you want to play tennis?

Here's McEnroe and Borg. Why don't you hit with them for a while?

I mean, the script was so outrageous.

First of all, that they were letting it get made

was amazing to us every day.

We redefined bad taste according to our standards.

Excuse me while I whip this out.

-(CROWD CLAMORING) -(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(CROWD SIGHS)

-(HEAVY CLANG) -Ow!

Boris, I've got a special. When can you work him in?

I couldn't possibly sneak him in until Monday, sir.

I'm booked solid.

♪ (THRILLING DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: I said to these guys, "This is gonna go nowhere.

It's a western."

Well, that's the end of this suit.

MEL: People haven't seen a western in 35 years,

they don't give a shit about westerns.

They didn't give a fuck about horses.

This is not gonna work.

-Ooh! Ow! -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Have you ever seen such cruelty?

So, let's do everything

that we weren't allowed to do as comedy writers, as kids.

Let's just, you know, all bets are off.

We go nuts. And that's the way we wrote it.

JUDD: Did you know you were being that bold at the time?

I didn't.

-I was just being me. -JUDD: Yeah.

But I didn't know that I was bold.

JUDD: Yeah.

Anything that I thought was different and funny,

I threw into the movie.

-(FARTS) -(COWBOY BURPS)

(FARTS)

(COWBOYS FARTING)

(FARTS)

(COWBOYS BURPING AND FARTING)

MEL: John Kelly,

he was in charge of production at Warner Bros.

He said, "Mel, if you're going to go up to the bell, ring it."

I never forgot that.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: Strangely enough, Richard Pryor fell in love with Mongo.

Mongo only pawn

in game of life.

Richard Pryor was supposed to play

-the Cleavon Little part. -He was gonna be, yeah. -I always thought...

-CONAN: He was gonna be the sheriff. -He was gonna be Black Bart,

but they wouldn't have him.

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -I was troublesome, I guess.

I don't know. I just-- hey, it's over.

So... I got to work with Mel Brooks, though.

You understand that?

I was in a room with him for about seven weeks.

LARRY KING: Another old friend. There is insanity, right?

That is a man who has lost it.

-(LAUGHS) -(LARRY LAUGHS)

He is a man who has lost it. But he's a loving man.

I mean, his losing it is loving. It's about love with him.

Good morning, ma'am.

And isn't it a lovely morning?

Up yours, nigger.

Obviously, the movie is brazen.

But to me, it just felt joyful.

Look what I got here.

Hey, where are the white women at?

"Where are all the white women at?"

As a kid, I understood that joke.

(CHUCKLES)

You're not supposed to fuck with them.

And at that time, I don't...

I mean, I was growing up in D.C.

I don't know that I didn't know

you weren't supposed to talk about these things.

Black people talk about this shit all the time.

White people were in denial of it.

So, how courageous is Mel...

-Governor! -DAVE CHAPPELLE: ...to use his platform...

Yes?

-Official business, sir. -DAVE: ...to just talk about it.

Is it important?

It's very crucial.

(SIGHS) Be with you in a minute.

Throw something on and stay in that position.

-DAVE: At the time... -Wow!

DAVE: I mean, the N-word is so different

in the world and the culture now.

Have you gone berserk?

Can't you see that that man is a ni--

-JUDD: Were you all talking about... -Wrong person. Forgive me.

JUDD: ...the reason to make jokes like that?

Have you gone berserk?

Can't you see that that man is a ni--

Actually, I was spurred on by Richard.

He said, "You got to tell the truth."

He said, "It's used.

Sometimes it's used sweetly by brothers.

And sometimes it's just a vicious...

terrible curse which breaks your heart."

I said, "Well, I'm going to tell the world.

I'm going to tell them the truth.

I'm going to tell them that it's your fault

that there are so many N-words used in this movie."

HOWARD JOHNSON: As chairman of the welcoming committee,

it is my privilege

to extend a laurel and hearty handshake

to our new...

nigger.

MEL: If you want a comedy to last,

you have to have an engine driving it.

And in Blazing Saddles, racial prejudice

is the engine that really drives the film.

Hold it.

The next man makes a move, the nigger gets it.

(CROWD MURMURING)

Hold it, men.

He's not bluffing.

Listen to him, men. He's just crazy enough to do it.

Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head

all over this town!

Oh, Lordy, Lord, he's desperate!

Do what he say! Do what he say!

It takes courage to go there.

'Cause you're dealing with dynamite.

'Cause it could have gone the wrong way

and the NAACP would have picketed the film

and everything would have been upside down.

But because he did it with love,

there's a healing that comes with it.

If you can attack race straight on,

then people kind of go like,

"Oh, that's really true."

And of course now you look at it

and you're like, "Oh my god, this movie."

You know, people like to say, like,

"Oh, you couldn't make Tropic Thunder today."

Like, you really couldn't make Blazing Saddles today.

Or ever, I think.

But what's behind it,

what you realize is, like, you know,

he's doing this satire, you know,

but he's really going for it.

Trying to expose the hypocrisy

and how screwed up our world is

in terms of how people treat other people.

I am depressed.

Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but...

I sure do hate to see you like this.

What if me and the boys was to shoot that nigger dead?

-Would that pep you up some? -That might help.

Could you make Blazing Saddles today in the same way?

No, but I think what's...

but I think you...

Well, let me think about this for a second.

Um...

Nah, you couldn't make it with them saying the N-word

all the time like that. (LAUGHS)

Man, you can do damn near anything

if it's funny.

So no, most people can't make that movie, ever.

Today or even back then, but Mel Brooks could.

You gotta remember

that these are just simple farmers.

These are people of the land.

The common clay of the New West.

You know.

-Morons. -(CHUCKLES)

JUDD: Gene Wilder was a last-minute replacement, right?

Oh, yeah.

I was looking for a real,

deep actor who had suffered alcoholism

to play the Waco Kid.

So, I got Gig Young,

who was a great actor, and he'd won an Academy Award

for They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

-And was a genuine alcoholic. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Look, for God's sakes, I'm trying to help you a little.

MEL: In the first scene,

he's struggling to gain equilibrium.

He's hanging over the bed in the jailhouse.

"Are we awake?"

And Gig Young says, "I don't know."

-(IMITATES RETCHING) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I said, "All right."

I turned to my assistant director, and I say,

-"This guy is fucking great." -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

He started talking

and then tornadoing.

Stuff came out of him.

Green material spews from his mouth.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

It's like... It's like I'm shooting The Exorcist here.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: I said, "Well, this is a little too much.

-Call an ambulance." (CHUCKLES) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

MEL: I called Gene that night,

literally in tears, crying. I said, "Gene."

And he said, "I'll be out tomorrow morning."

I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "I can do that."

"I can play that part to a T. I will save you.

(GROANING)

MEL: I will be magnificent

as the Waco Kid."

Are we awake?

We're not sure.

Are we... Black?

Yes, we are.

Then we're awake,

but we're very puzzled.

Okay, finished the movie, showed it to the studio.

-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -I tell you,

I don't know why my heart is beating today.

Ted Ashley catches me.

Ted Ashley was head of the studio.

He says to me, "Farting scene out."

I have a little pad. I say,

"Farting scene is out. You got it."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

"Punching the horse. Punching the horse."

"Punching the horse is out. You got it."

He says, "The Lili Von Shtupp with the Black sheriff

and the thing about the fashten-schnugger."

Would you care for another schnitzen-gruben?

"Absolutely. You got it. It's out."

He gave about 30 or 40 notes.

If I listened to every note that he gave me,

I would have an 18-minute picture.

So after he finished,

John Calley was sitting next to me.

I took all the notes that I had taken down

diligently in front of him.

And after he left, I crumpled it up

and threw it in a wastepaper basket.

And Calley said,

"Three points."

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MEL: It was just an immediate success.

♪ (MUSIC TURNS THRILLING) ♪

(HORSE NEIGHING)

-Student. -Are you kidding?

Pain in the ass.

Let's wipe them out!

(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

(HORSES NEIGHING)

LARRY KARASZEWSKI: The moment where the fight is happening...

and you realize that you're in a studio lot.

The effect that had on an audience back in 1974

was just jaw-dropping. You're like, "Oh, my gosh."

This movie is taking you in a place

that movies hadn't taken you before.

-♪ (MUSIC STOPS)♪ -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

We looked at Blazing Saddles and said...

"Those are our kind of jokes."

My God, you can do a whole movie

that doesn't really rely on an intricate plot,

and there's an audience full of people laughing.

It also kind of paved the way for,

"Hey, you can do anything."

You can break boundaries.

-And what always struck me... -Cut!

What in the hell do you think you're doing here?

-...is how fearless he was. -This is a closed set!

Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks.

Not in the face!

-(CROWD GASPING) -♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Thank you.

(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

HITLER ACTOR: They lose me right after the bunker scene.

What the hell was that?

♪ (THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(INDISTINCT CLAMOR)

CONAN: Mel wasn't content

with just breaking the fourth wall.

He exploded it and hundreds and hundreds of people

come running through the movie screen.

Taxi!

CONAN: And Harvey Korman crosses the street and says,

"Get me out of this picture."

Mel's movie can't even contain the actors who are in it.

PETER FARRELLY: We went to that movie

like it was a concert.

It broke the mold for comedies up to that point.

Come on, let's check out the end of the flick.

PETER: 'Cause of that story...

Gee, I sure hope there's a happy ending.

...and because of the relationship

between Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little,

-that was the heart of that movie. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Sheriff, you can't go now. We need you.

My work here is done.

I'm needed elsewhere now.

I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West.

Wherever innocent women and children

are afraid to walk the streets.

Wherever a man cannot live in simple dignity.

And wherever a people cry out

for justice.

CROWD: Bullshit.

♪ ("BLAZING SADDLES MAIN TITLE" BY JOHN MORRIS PLAYING) ♪

MEL: As long as I make crazy funny pictures,

I'll be all right.

Because I think that I can say anything serious

via comedy.

(SCREAMS)

MEL: My job, my first duty,

is to the flag of laughter and entertainment.

Pull!

-(GUNSHOT) -(PEASANT YELLING)

Drifting to the left.

MEL: I do the things

we all dream of doing.

DARK HELMET: I see your schwartz is as big as mine.

MEL: And that's why I am so loved...

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

...and so hated.

INTERVIEWER: Do you have everything you want?

MEL: No, of course I don't.

I want to conquer other fields of thought.

I want to examine, in movies,

various aspects of human endeavor.

All I'm doing is what Shakespeare told me to do.

There's a mandate there.

Hold the mirror up to life, as it were.

And that's what I do.

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Can I tell you one private thing and you won't repeat it?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

This is really between me and you

and nobody else.

I only cut one...

scene. I didn't cut the scene.

I cut the scene down.

It's a scene where Madeleine Kahn

asks the sheriff to come visit her

in her dressing room.

I feel refreshed.

MEL: And she says in the dark...

LILI VON SHTUPP: Is it true what they say

about the way you people are gifted?

"Is it true? Is it true?"

(IMITATES MOANING)

"It's true."

(IMITATES PANTING, MOANING)

"It's true. It's true. It's true!"

And Cleavon says to her,

"I don't mean to disillusion you,

Miss Von Shtupp,

but you're sucking on my arm."

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) -(CHUCKLES)

I... It's not...

It's-- It's a bit too much.

It's a bit too much. I took it out of the picture.

♪ ("BLAZING SADDLES MAIN TITLE" BY JOHN MORRIS PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪