Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

[bright upbeat music]

♪ Remember Saturdays ♪

♪ Remember celebrating ♪

♪ Feels so far ♪

♪ Everything you said ♪

♪ How you wanna be my friend ♪

♪ No wonder ♪ [car engine rumbling]

♪ That I've been spending all this time out on my own ♪

♪ I wish you'd be the one to call when I'm alone ♪

♪ Haunt me like you want me ♪

♪ Always gonna be your baby ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be ♪

♪ Only what you show me ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be your baby ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be your baby ♪

- [Ben] Hi, this is Ben. Sorry I missed your call.

Uh, just leave me a message

and I'll get right back to you.

Thanks. [phone beeps]

- Hi, hi, they, they let me check in early,

way early, so I'm here early.

I- I know you're probably still on your flight,

but I'm excited for you to be here.

[trunk lid thuds] [door squeaks]

♪ What would I have to do ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't wanna ghost ♪

- [Fran] Um, I left your key at the front desk,

so you can just let yourself in,

and so you won't have to wait for me,

in, in case I'm in the shower or something.

♪ I don't need someone to ♪

- I should have everything ready for when you arrive.

Um, I want this to be comfortable.

[gloves snap] [bright upbeat music]

[Fran gasps] ♪ Gonna be your baby ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be ♪

♪ Only what you show me ♪ ♪ Only what you show me ♪

[car whooshing]

♪ I'm always gonna be your baby ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be ♪

- [Fran] And I also know it's complicated.

[upbeat music]

Uh, but also kinda wonderful,

and I'm glad we're doing this, finally. [chuckles]

[bright upbeat music]

I- I want this to be, you know, special and not weird,

and I- I wanna respect whatever it is you need

and want during this time, reconnecting.

[upbeat music]

And I- I promise to communicate the same,

as it pertains to me.

Oh, oh, I- I left you a little something special,

uh, just to get things started.

[air whooshing] ♪ Always ♪

[bright upbeat music]

- [Fran] And yeah, I'll see you soon, so-

♪ Gonna be your baby ♪

- [Fran] Uh, bye, bye.

Uh, goodbye, bye-bye.

[bright upbeat music] ♪ Gonna be your baby ♪

♪ I'm always gonna be your baby ♪

[bright upbeat music]

[door thuds]

- Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, the password for the thing is 1, 1, 1, 1, 11, 11.

Like looking at the clock in calculus,

almost there, we're on the right track. [chuckles]

- "You're being called to fight evil."

- [Fran] And being called to fight evil,

like we used to say.

- Nice.

- So, um, yeah, 11, 11. Easy, I thought.

Okay, [sighs] bye.

[phone beeps]

[Ben sighs]

[phone thuds] [car horn honks]

[Ben sniffles]

[traffic whooshing]

[zipper rasping]

[air whooshing]

[Ben exhales deeply]

- [Ben] 1, 1, 1, 1.

[Fran sighing]

- Thank you, Ben, for being my sperm donor.

[traffic droning]

Your patience and care in the lead-up to this moment,

this process, has really been admirable.

There are some, uh, uh, sports drinks,

so you can stay hydrated and get your electrolytes.

A- assorted snacks.

Dammit, he's early.

Gift basket, with, uh, well, supplies

for the next 36 hours, it's in the bathroom.

[chuckles] I didn't wanna presume what you needed,

so feel free to toss anything

that doesn't look like it would work.

There are some collection condoms in there,

uh, silicone, since latex can be harmful to sperm,

as well as some sterile collection cups to help you,

well, to help with all three

of your scheduled donations- - Okay, no.

- And to make them as comfortable as possible.

[razor buzzing]

[razor thuds]

I know you've been keeping up with the research,

and, and prep timeline I sent earlier,

but if you needed some boxers to help regulate

the temperature down there, [chuckles] after your flight,

I've provided a special thank-you pair.

I know it's ideal to do this over the course of four days,

or at least 48 hours, but in terms of budget

and not taking for granted your time,

I think we can make the best

of this day and a half together, before you fly home.

Okay, lastly, there is some paperwork

for you to sign, the release and waiver,

along with just a pre, uh, questionnaire.

Uh, when you're done, just give a knock

and slide them under the door,

and we'll get started shortly.

- Right.

[pen clicks]

All right.

"Known sperm donor and recipient agreement."

Uh, "Donor has agreed donor will produce,

donor agrees.

Donor agrees. Donor is aware."

[Ben mutters faintly]

[object clicking] [objects clattering]

Okay, donor... [gentle airy music]

[pen scratching]

That should be...

"Personal health questionnaire."

"Donor name." Ben.

"Have you ejaculated in the past 72 hours?" Nope.

"Have you consumed asparagus in the past 72 hours?"

That's a no.

"Have you spent any time in a jacuzzi or hot personal bath?"

No.

[gentle airy music]

"Have you had a headache, fever or cough?"

Oh, no. No, no.

"Have you spent time in jail?" No.

"Have you had unprotected sex?" [mutters]

"Are there medical concerns not mentioned in this screening

you would like, or feel important, to disclose?"

No. No, huh.

"Affix your STD and sperm motility test results

to the top of this questionnaire

with the paperclip provided."

[gentle airy music]

"Put it to the top,

with the paperclip p- provided."

"With the paperclip provided."

[gentle airy music]

[objects clattering]

[gentle airy music]

[Ben panting]

[Ben groans]

- Oh, God.

Oh.

[gentle airy music]

- [Ben] Not there? No.

[Ben panting]

[gentle airy music]

- Oh!

[Fran sighs]

- It's gotta be here somewhere.

All right, here we go.

[gentle airy music] [Ben panting]

[knuckles rapping]

[object clatters]

[Fran sniffles and sighs]

Sorry, there,

there w- there wasn't a paperclip.

[sirens wailing] [bright music]

[gentle airy music]

- Uh, uh, uh, no problem, not a problem. Uh, my fault.

Um, just go ahead and, uh-

- Just shove it in?

Through? - Yes, that,

that sounds great. - I can just shove it through.

[gentle airy music]

I'm sorry. - No.

- [Ben] Okay. [groans]

I just, um, I can't get the paper-

- Ah-ha.

- Take it. Goddamn it.

[gentle airy music] Goddamn it.

[gentle airy music]

[knuckles rapping] [door clicks]

[door thuds]

Hey! Hey, Franny.

- [sighs] It's, it's just Fran now.

- Oh. Oh, sorry, so- I am so sorry.

I am so sorry.

- That's- - Sorry.

[Fran chuckles]

Well, in regards to me, I'm, I'm still just Ben.

- Yeah, right.

- Like I was before. - Yeah.

Yeah, I'll take-

- It's good, it's good to see you.

- Yeah, you too. I- I was actually going for-

- Oh, this guy. - Yeah.

- Sorry, it's-

- That was fast.

- Yeah, well, I- I've always been kinda quick

with worksheets, you know?

- Yeah. - Like I was back in school.

- [Fran] Yeah, I- I remember.

- [Ben] Oh.

- Were you crying?

- Crying? No. - Are you sad?

It, it's okay

if you were, I just- - It's just, no,

I appreciate you asking. - Okay, okay.

- No, I'm fine. It's just- - I didn't mean to, I-

- I'm, I'm good. - Okay.

Okay, I'm glad. - I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good.

It's just- - Is everything all right?

- Yeah. - Yeah? Okay.

- [Ben] Yeah, it's, it's good.

- Good. - Yeah, it's,

and this is so good.

Everything you've done is just so good.

It's really, this is, I love this.

[Fran chuckles] [Ben exclaims]

[liquid glugging]

- Oh, wow. You're thirsty. [gasps]

- [gasps] That's good stuff.

Yeah, it's just contacts. Sorry, that was so loud.

It's, it's like when you talk with someone

and they still have their headphones on,

you know, like the gymer.

"What? No, no, sorry.

You know, I, you need the elliptical?

I'm all set. I'm all set!" [exclaims]

Can I have a?

- Yeah. - It's just,

it's a low-impact machine.

- Right, I- I use those. - Yeah, yeah.

It's just my contacts, they're just acting up.

It's all it is.

[liquid glugging]

- Yeah, okay.

- Sorry, I'm, I'm, I'm just nervous.

- It's okay. It's okay.

- I'm okay.

I'm good. I'm good.

- Should we get started? - Yeah. Yeah.

This is great.

- So the first donation is probably the most important-

- Yeah. - As it will be

the most concentrated sample due to the,

due to your, uh-

- Oh, my, um, sabbatical.

[Ben imitates closing suitcase]

- [exclaims] Yeah! Yeah, due to that. [inhales sharply]

- I can just, uh,

get these on and, uh, go to it.

- Sure, uh, just, you know, knock.

[knuckles rapping] - Like that?

- Yeah, like that.

- Okay, I'll see you soon. - Okay.

Yeah. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

[door thuds]

[gentle airy music] [Ben exhales deeply]

[Fran sighs] [hands tapping]

[gentle airy music continues]

[device beeps] [gentle upbeat music]

[Fran sighs]

♪ Send a picture, babe ♪

♪ Quarter after 3:00 ♪

♪ Tell me what you ♪

♪ Wanna do to me ♪

♪ I'm your dream girl ♪

♪ Hazy in your mind ♪ [Fran clicks tongue]

♪ Baby, you fit into me ♪

♪ Like a hook into an eye ♪

♪ Let's have an understanding ♪

♪ Let's play pretend ♪

♪ I don't need to see your edges ♪

♪ Or your complicated bits ♪

♪ Let's have an understanding ♪

♪ Let's play pretend ♪ [Fran panting]

♪ We never really see each other ♪

[vibrator thuds] ♪ 'Cause the glow's ♪

♪ Where we live ♪

[vibrator thudding] ♪ I'm never gonna call it love ♪

♪ I'm never gonna open up ♪

♪ I'm never gonna let you ♪ - No.

♪ Closer than this ♪

♪ Closer than this ♪

♪ I'm never gonna be the one ♪

♪ So quit it with the real stuff ♪

[Fran sighs]

♪ I'm never gonna let you closer than this ♪

♪ Closer than this ♪

[vocalist harmonizing] [Fran exhales sharply]

[vibrator clatters]

[vibrator thuds] [door thuds]

[vocalist harmonizing] [gentle upbeat music]

- "No smoking. No candles."

♪ Gimme what I want ♪

[Fran sighs] ♪ This is how it works ♪

[lighter clicking] ♪ You don't get to know me ♪

♪ You don't get ♪ - Whatever!

♪ To hurt me first ♪

♪ Let's have an understanding ♪

[Fran sighs] ♪ Let's play pretend ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ About your sister ♪ - Okay. [sighs]

♪ Or your band from Michigan ♪ [Fran gasps]

♪ Let's have an understanding ♪ [Fran sniffs]

♪ Let's play pretend ♪

- Oh my God. ♪ We never really ♪

♪ See each other ♪

♪ 'Cause the glow's where we live ♪

[knuckles rapping] ♪ I'm never gonna call it love ♪

- [gasps] Okay. ♪ I'm never gonna open up ♪

♪ I'm never gonna ♪ [device beeps]

[hands tap] - Okay.

Way to go, Big Ben.

[door thuds]

[Ben sighs]

- Sorry, some, some, something's just not working.

It's.

I- I- I'm so- - I-

[container clattering]

- It's okay, it's ju- it's, it's fine.

It, it's empty.

[Fran gasping] It didn't spill.

Fran, I- I- I didn't, it, there's nothing in it.

No. - Okay.

[door thuds]

[quirky upbeat music] [gasping] Okay.

[Fran whimpering and gasping]

[Ben's voice distorting]

Okay. Okay.

[vibrator clattering]

[Fran gasping] [quirky music warbling]

[Fran whimpers] [rousing dramatic music]

[knuckles rapping]

- [Ben] Hey, Fr- Fran?

- God!

Yes? [gasping]

- Hey. [Fran panting]

Listen, ju- let's just wait, wait for a minute.

I mean, uh. [Fran sighing]

[gentle airy music]

Look, I'm, I'm not demanding or like,

like telling you what you gotta do, okay, I...

But I- I- I do feel that it's important to share that,

that though I know that this is not ideal,

I think that we are,

you know, i- ideally suited to adjust

to this becau- 'cause you,

'cause you've done a lot of har- hard work,

hard, hard work and, and I have read

or watched everything you sent me,

so- sometimes twice.

You know, so all that prep work is really gonna help us,

you know, ad- adjust to what, what is really

only a, a, a temporary setback here.

[gentle somber music]

Hey, and, and just to review the facts,

you know, I- I've eaten folate-rich foods

for like months now, and I have done,

or, or, or not done everything that was in the packet

in those videos and, and, and even

those two podcast episodes you sent.

And you know, we've only been here

for like, like 30 minutes.

So despite the window being really tight, I- I know,

but maybe we could take the pressure off

and, and try to do this right,

or, or, or well, you know, rather than rushed.

[gentle somber music] [Fran panting]

And also a quick update.

Uh, I think I'm gonna change into my other shorts.

Uh, they're still loose-fitting and, and, and breathable.

It's just that,

it's just the backside of the embroidered

Thank you uniform,

it's, it's, it's just really scratchy.

And, and I- I think that,

compiled with how nervous I am,

and wanting to do this really, really well,

is all contributing to just how

aloof, uh, aloof, a- aloof, you know,

e- e- e- e- everything's acting down there.

[Fran laughs]

[gentle bright somber music]

Fran?

[gentle somber music]

[gentle somber music continues]

Okay.

[Ben sighs]

[door clicks]

- [Fran] Oh!

- Oh.

[panting] Hey, did you, fun fact,

did you know that, uh, Margaret Vickers

was the first girl-

- Oh? - Uh, to, to see me naked?

- From high school?

- Yeah, uh, the one that was in the class below us?

I mean, my mom and my grandma, you know,

they used to bathe me in our, our kitchen sink

when, when I was a baby and all the relatives

would come in and say- - Ben? Ben?

- "Nice kitchen." - Ben?

- Good- - Ben, can you fix

your situation?

- Yeah. - Please.

Okay.

- Yeah. [sighs]

It's, uh.

[Ben gasping]

All set.

Yeah, so it's, it's, you know, it's just the novelty

of it all, being the first grandkid,

and so it's just this spectacle,

so it doesn't really count, but yeah,

that Margaret Vickers, she's the one.

- Wasn't she autistic?

- Still is, or, well, or, or something going on there.

You know, it wasn't really polite

to ask back in the '90s.

I mean, now everyone's just deciding that they're,

"Hey, TikTok, it's me, your neurodivergent unicorn,"

glitter, glitter, glitter.

But not really putting in any work.

You know, but, uh, back then

I- I was always working out early,

uh, for wrestling practice and...

See, I had a hard time making weight

on account of my slow metabolism.

Wait, i- is that gonna be a problem, my, my slow metabolism?

- Oh, Ben, it's fine. There's so many good things about you.

Metabolism isn't really...

- Uh, you know, some, some of it's in, in my head.

Like, I have these persistent, "I'm just always gonna be

so husky," thoughts. - I- I- I- I can deal

with metabolism. - If you need

to get somebody else, I understand.

- Ben?

I can handle a whole hell of a lot, and you are not a lot.

Hm.

- You're?

Should I?

What, do you, do you still wanna hear my nudey story?

[Fran exhales deeply]

You, well, I'm like a junior

and I'm running before school a lot,

and, uh, I'm, I'm not really covering up

when I walk from the shower to my locker,

and Margaret Vickers, she walks in to the locker room

looking for Coach Russo,

and, and sees me, bam!

You know, full raw chicken there.

You know, me, you know, but not so slim shady.

Well, referencing my waist, you know,

n- nothing in regards to girth.

And her eyes get real big

and, and she just runs out, crying.

Coach Russo, he found her later by the dodge balls.

He tried to keep it real hush-hush, you know?

But Jeremy Metzker-

- Oh! God, Jeremy Metzker?

- Yeah. Yeah, and that guy? - Ugh.

- Well, he found out.

And, and so he announced to the entire lunchroom

that my genitals made Margaret Vickers cry.

And, and, and then he got the entire lunchroom

to stand up and slow clap, like the end of a football movie.

[hands clapping]

And she just looked, but she just runs out weeping.

- I- I don't remember that.

That must have been terrible.

- No, it, it, it was, it was fine. She was...

Well, you know, I mean, it, it's hard to tell

if the weeping was on account of the clapping or my penis.

I've always kinda leaned penis.

- Huh!

- But she, I mean, she was fine.

I mean, she asked me to prom later that spring, you know?

- Oh, yeah, I- [sighs] I forgot that you two,

a, no, after we, um, yeah.

- And see, her mom, she, she wanted her home

by like 9:30, so we danced every dance we could,

and then I, well, I- I took her back,

and then I just went home and just skipped the rest.

So Margaret Vickers was like the first non-family member

to see me au naturel.

- Oh.

- Then there was a considerable gap till somebody.

Just a few years. A few.

Eight.

- Eight? - Yeah.

- Oh! Oh, eight.

- Well, some people call me a late bloomer. [chuckles]

What, moi?

Maurice. - Yeah.

- It's Steve Miller.

Gosh, sorry, I'm always doing these bad impressions.

I'm so bad at them. It's Steve Miller.

And I'm just like grasping for these different things

to try to make sense of what's going on.

And it doesn't make any sense.

That was my Steve Miller.

- I, yeah, I remember.

- The song or like how I am?

- Both.

- Oh.

[Ben chuckles]

But then you, you know, were, were like

almost the first person to see me

in like three or four years,

uh, but, but with an asterisk going,

'cause we were saved by this T-shirt I got

from running a 5K during one of my, you know,

self-improvement kicks.

So I guess it's a good thing I lost all that weight

and then put some back on, then lost it, put back.

[vocalizing] and then [vocalizing].

You know? Just, uh. [sighs]

So do you, do you wanna, like, talk about, like, next steps?

- [gasps] Yes! - Okay.

[Fran exclaims]

Oh, okay.

[bright upbeat music]

[bright upbeat music continues]

Thanks for, uh, meeting with me today. [chuckles]

- Thanks for meeting with me too.

- Hey! Hey, you, you, you got this, huh?

I'm sorry, you, we, we got it.

- Okay, so refractory-wise, we still have a window,

kind of, to make our three goals.

But if we aren't able to, in the next hour,

we can roll back to two

[sighs] deposits,

as an adaptive schedule and still get you

to your flight on time.

It'd be tight, but enough time.

I gave us a day and a half to allow

for the unexpected, um...

- Uh, contingencies?

- Exactly.

- Uh, quality over quantity.

- Uh, more quality quantity, is what we're aiming for,

but, but yeah, yeah.

- Oh, um, my, my, my doctor, he gave me some, um,

generic helpers.

[vocalist humming] [quirky bright music]

You know, in case?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take that now.

[vocalist humming] [quirky bright music]

[pills rattling]

- Got 'em!

[vocalist humming] [quirky bright music]

[pill bottle clattering]

I got. I got.

- Is everything all right?

- Got it. - Oh, okay.

Ben? Oh! [Ben coughs]

[Ben exclaims]

- It just went down the wrong,

it just went down the wrong pipe.

- Okay. - I have a,

I have a somewhat lazy epiglottis.

- Oh! - It's, it's a condition,

not a critique, it's. [gulps]

- Yeah. - Just do the best you can.

- [Fran] Take your time, maybe stop drinking

for a little bit.

[slow bright music] [vocalist humming]

[chair creaks] [gentle dramatic music]

- [coughs] Yeah, but it should work.

[panting] I mean, I tested it, but a while back,

it's not, uh, like, ruin the sabbatical, so.

- Good.

- I'm just not sure if that's,

I'm not sure if that's really the issue,

uh, right now.

[gentle bright upbeat music]

- Okay. Uh, is it the magazines?

- No! - Be- because if it's

a special type of, uh, media,

this is a no-judgment zone, Ben, we got this.

Okay? - No, those are,

they're, they're fine.

Yeah, I mean, I know that can elicit, you know,

like initiate a, a physiological response,

but no, this is, you know,

maybe just something more going on up here

that's getting in the way of this working. [panting]

- Is it like sleep-related or, or stressed?

- Maybe some, some. I mean, I have a CPAP machine.

I'm a little young for it, but uh.

- Do you need to use that?

- No, I- I'm not tired.

And besides, I didn't, I didn't bring it,

I didn't want it to get ruined at the airport,

or look like one of those guys, you know,

sporting a gray, soft-sided cooler,

full of their personal yogurts,

and struggling to get it in the overhead bin, so.

- Are you stressed?

- Yeah, but I- I don't think stress

is like the, the real deal with.

- No. - Even when I'm home,

you know? [quirky upbeat music]

Like, uh, you know?

Like, uh, using, using the self checkout aisle.

- Yeah. - If I'm stressed

everything kinda works out, so.

- Gotcha. - I don't,

I- I think we're, we, we should be good here, or, or there.

- Great. - You know, it's,

it's probably most likely like a mental thing,

than something like biological.

Hey, I mean, I'm a late bloomer,

so I- I got a lot in the tank, so.

- Ben, Ben, hey, let's just,

let's just sit here and, and breathe and calm down,

and we'll, we'll, uh. [panting]

[quirky upbeat music]

Is there something I can do to help?

- No, you're doing great. [coughs]

- Okay.

- Oh, well, could I have another one of these?

- Sure, sure.

Ben, what has helped?

Well, I mean, what do you think would help?

What has helped to get you, uh.

- Like, past the finish line?

[bottle creaking] [water glugging]

- Okay, take a breath. Just for a second, take a breath.

[bottle creaking]

[Ben grunting]

[Ben clears throat and sniffles]

Okay. [clears throat]

[soft gentle bright music]

How can I help you right now?

[gentle bright music]

[bright somber music]

- Oh, Fran, no, I...

You have worked s- so hard to create a safe space,

ensuring, you know, that everyone feels comfortable

during a, a difficult process,

and, and I don't think we should just throw away

those boundaries so easily,

'cause I- I respect you. - Oh! I am not, no-

- And you are a- - Ben, I am, I am not.

Ben, stop talking for a second because I'm not an idiot,

and I'm not compromising

this deeply personal- - I didn't mean to-

- And urgent process by suggesting giving you

some sort of sympathetic hand-job!

- That's not exactly- - And oh, let me reassert

that I am not fucking stupid,

so snap out of it and meet me right here, right here,

and tell me what it is we need to do

to get this started so we can get this done.

Now, whatever the issue is,

we have about a, hmm, let's see,

a, a day and some change to see

if this is insurmountable,

or something that we can surmount.

And that process should have started like 20 minutes ago.

Okay? So let's knuckle down.

Okay. I want this to be a safe space.

I do, but we also need it to be a get-it-fucking-done space,

so I'd like to invite you

to put your late Gen X'er big boy shorts on

and get after this, because we're old enough, Ben.

We're old enough, we should be able to do that.

Okay?

So talk me through what the block is

and we'll work through it.

This is your turn to talk.

Is it the porn?

Did I get the wrong porn?

- Can I use the middle aged man's room?

- Sure. Sure.

[pen rattling]

- I guess it's a good thing we know

that I'm like super hydrated right now.

[Ben vocalizing]

[urine sloshing]

[Fran sniffles]

[pen clicking]

[urine continues sloshing]

[Fran gasps]

[urine continues sloshing]

[urine continues sloshing]

[Fran sighs]

[urine sloshing]

[pen clicking]

[urine continues sloshing]

[Fran sighing]

[urine continues sloshing]

[toilet flushing]

- [Fran] Wash your hands!

- I was gonna!

[water sloshing]

[dish clatters]

[soap thuds]

[dishes clattering]

[soap thuds]

[Ben gasping] [water continues sloshing]

[soap thuds] [water continues sloshing]

[Ben sighing]

Do you wanna smell f- for, like, the soap or?

- We're all set.

You know, let's just, let's just shake it off.

- Like Taylor Swift? - No, no, no, no.

Like, like, like shake the Etch A Sketch.

- Oh, the- - Movement

releases endorphins and lowers anxiety.

I'm gonna play some music

and we can just, you know- - My plantar fasciitis

has, has been acting up-

- Stand- - So-

- And move our bodies.

- If there's gonna be any jumping involved,

I- I- - No, no, no talking!

- I might have to tap out.

- Just, just breathing,

you know, getting into our body.

- Is this yoga?

- Ben, this is not yoga!

We are winging it here.

We are inventing something new altogether here, okay?

So get up! Yes, get up!

[device beeping] ♪ Feel me ♪

[gentle upbeat music]

♪ I'm an angel for you ♪

- Yeah, shimmy, move your shoulders.

That's good.

♪ Time for you to move ♪ [Fran gasping]

♪ Time to go, go, go, go ♪

[Fran babbling and groaning]

[gentle upbeat music]

- Looks like you should be outside

a cellphone store. - Shut up.

Start, start dancing.

- Promoting a car wash. - Don't distract.

[Fran laughs] [Ben laughs]

♪ Coming, coming through ♪ - I can dance.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Lemme see you.

- Put on my dancing sandals.

- Okay, you need those? Good job.

- Have to sleep in a boot with a right angle.

- Well, sexy.

- 'Cause I have plantar fasciitis.

[Fran sighs]

It may be bone spurs.

- Ah-ha. - But I'm hoping

it's plantar fasciitis.

- Ah-ha. Yeah, yeah.

- It's like I'm a weather system.

- Yeah, you are.

- Cue this nimbus cloud. [exclaims]

- Wild weather system.

- Stratus, stratus.

- Fog, fog.

- Cirrus cloud.

- Lightning, lightning, lightning!

- And thunder. - Lightning.

And thunder, thunder, thunder.

- Salsa, salsa, salsa.

A little pico de gallo.

- Yeah, pico de gallo.

- It's mild though.

- Yeah. - You don't wanna hurt

your tummy.

- Lifeguard.

- You look like you're doing some vocational dance move.

- [Fran] Oh yeah.

- I'm moving like the jobs I always wanted-

- Oh yeah? - When I was a kid.

[Ben groans] - Yeah.

- I work at an apple orchard.

- Yeah. - I love it.

Pumpkin spice.

Just taking out the recycling.

- Yeah. - Oh, it's the wrong day.

My bad.

[gentle upbeat music] ♪ Think I've had enough ♪

♪ Had enough ♪

- And I'm a florist.

- Spray, spray.

Spray, spray. - Here you go.

Window wiping. [groaning]

[lively upbeat music] ♪ Coming, coming, coming ♪

- Seal petting. Petting.

♪ Coming, coming, coming ♪

- Think I'm a dolphin.

[grunts] Cobra. Cobra!

[lively upbeat music] ♪ Coming, coming, coming ♪

♪ Coming, coming, coming, coming, coming ♪

[Ben exclaims] [Fran gasps]

- [Ben] Pulling me in.

[lively upbeat music continues]

- Lightning, lightning.

- Jazzing, jazzing.

[Fran sighs and gasps]

- Let's get outta here. Clear our heads.

[door sensor chiming] [soft upbeat music]

[potato chips crunching] [bags rustling]

- I'm sorry, I- I- I was gonna send a card,

but I- I just didn't.

I'm really sorry.

- I- I was meaning too.

Yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry about Lana,

and your folks.

- Yeah, you too. Your mom. [sighs]

[soft upbeat music]

- Kept picturing it like Miley Cyrus riding

that big styrofoam ball in her underwear.

- Mm-hmm.

♪ I came in like a large cell carcinoma ball ♪

Like that? - Mm-hmm.

- Is that why you moved home? Your mom?

- Yeah. It's temporary.

I'll head back to Chicago after I sell our house,

but it is weird being back in Toledo.

[soft upbeat music]

- It's kinda nice.

- Yeah.

- Why me?

I mean, why'd you even choose me?

- Honestly, I couldn't think of anyone else I could trust.

- I was like the weirdest friend you had in high school.

- Eclectic and creative and unique.

- And who swam in a T-shirt.

- I just had a feeling you'd get it and be game and kind.

- Hm.

- If I get to have a child, I'd hope they'd be like that.

- A lone wolf who swims in a T-shirt and is good at trivia?

- And who would also understand why I'm doing it this way.

After Mom, it's expensive.

I have one shot at this, so I'm being, you know,

creative with this first part.

But I'm wondering, is this too soon after Lana?

- You mean not being able to?

- Well, that'd be understandable.

- No, it, it hasn't been too...

I mean, maybe, I don't know. [clears throat]

Or maybe I'm just kinda messed up

from getting such a late start, you know?

- Yeah. - I mean,

the closest thing I ever had to having a sex talk

with my folks was finding my dad's cassette tape

of Meatloaf's Greatest Hits, you know?

So my whole understanding of any kinda intimacy

is dominated by a very problematic sexual baseball metaphor.

- Yeah.

- Hell, and the odd single with a sympathetic coworker,

accidental doubles around New Year's

when people are optimistically desperate.

That almost triple with Gina from Cleveland.

You wouldn't know her.

- I once laughed in a guy's mouth when he kissed me.

[Ben laughs] Yeah.

It was at the end of a nice date, a real fancy guy.

- Oh. - He was walking me

to my door. - Mm-hmm.

- And his Audi's parked out front,

so, you know, fancy. - Nice.

- And he is saying all the right things,

and he's smelling good and he's looking all the right ways,

and I'm like, "Shit, why not?"

So I'm giving him all

the, the signs, you know? - Oh, the,

the sexual baseball metaphor.

- And the dude comes in and just [exclaims] gold fishes me.

His, his big, like, dumb lips.

- Oh, like a, like a space lock in a science fiction movie?

[Ben vocalizing]

- Yes, like, like a Dementor.

- Oh yeah.

- Have you read Harry Potter?

- Yeah, I love those books.

I mean, I mean, I- I know they're problematic,

but I- I used to, I used to love

those books. - Yeah, yeah,

problematic and I don't don't know if they hold up,

or if it's just nostalgia or something.

- Um, they're a little calm A, calm B.

- But anyway, this Dementor is like trying

to suck out my soul, and I- I feel...

- Like a, like a hawk going after a small mammal

on the side of the, the highway, [imitates hawk screeching]

and it's just ripping it apart.

- God! - Like that?

- [chuckles] Alarmingly, yes.

- Nice.

- And I just lose it just right in his face.

I guess I wanted him to feel unwanted.

- Well, a bad kiss is a bad kiss, man.

- Yeah, right? - Yeah.

- It's just.

[device chiming]

[air whooshing]

- I will shut my door,

just so.

The lights will remain off.

You will count audibly on your side of the door to 20,

while I set an ambush up on mine.

- Got it.

- Now you'll proceed into my room,

lights still off,

and try to survive this game we just invented.

Uh, we can call it, um, uh.

[toy gun clicks]

- Night Hunt.

- Nice. Now you'll have three bullets.

- Only gonna need one.

- Be that as it may, if you find any foam darts

on the ground, you may reuse them,

providing you're not already dead.

- Do you need to use the restroom?

- [Ben] Why?

- Remember, hide-and-seek, and the moment you hide

you get nervous and have to pee?

[Fran exhaling sharply]

[urine splashing]

[toilet flushing]

Wash your hands!

- I was gonna!

- Just making sure.

[water sloshing]

[Fran sighs]

[toy gun clicks]

[slow suspenseful music]

[door creaks]

- Start counting.

- One, two, three.

- This direction.

- [Fran] Four.

[Ben exhales deeply] Five.

- Ah! Cramp, oh, my-

- [Fran] Six.

- Can walk for-

- Seven,

eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,

15, 16, 17, 18, 19,

20. [slow suspenseful music]

[slow suspenseful music continues]

[slow suspenseful music continues]

[Fran gasps]

[slow suspenseful music continues]

[curtain rattles]

[slow suspenseful music continues]

[slow suspenseful music continues]

Hello, Ben.

[dart thuds] - Oh!

Oh! - Ooh. Shit!

- Uh, that's okay. No, no, you j-

- Are you all right? - Yeah, you just,

you just got me in the,

you just got me- - In the eye?

Oh my God, Ben,

I'm so sorry. - I'm okay, it's fine.

That, that was awesome.

[stammers] It, it's really, it's just a foam dart.

- No, no. It, it still could detach a cornea.

- What? - Yeah. Can you see me?

- Yeah. Loud, loud and clear.

- Oh. Oh, Ben, I'm so sorry I ruined your game.

- You, you won our game.

Our game. You won our game.

That, that was awesome.

You, you're like a, like, like a gun fighter.

You're like, like some kinda Wolf Warrior Franny. [groans]

That was awesome.

- Here. - Ah.

- Do you want me to blow on it?

- What?

- Oh, my grandma used to do it when we got poked in the eye.

I think it helps.

Yeah. Okay.

[Fran blowing]

[gentle bright poignant music]

Is that better?

[gentle bright poignant music]

Okay.

[gentle bright poignant music continues]

You want something to drink?

[paper rustling]

- Yeah, like, like a beer?

- [Fran] Yeah, I can do a beer.

[traffic whooshing]

[soft music] [vocalist singing faintly]

- Ah, and then these. I'm just gonna.

[soft music] [vocalist singing faintly]

Hey, you know, we could, um,

do you remem, do you remember [sighs]

the Honor Society trip?

You know, in the hotel, when I asked you to prom

with all the histrionics?

My, mine, not yours.

And you said, "Maybe," and then you said, "Yes."

And then you stayed home from school for like a week,

'cause you were so sick with worry.

And then you came back

and said you needed it to be a "No."

- I, uh. - It, it's not a shame parade.

I just, I just thought,

well, hey, we got all this stuff and we can,

I don't know, we, we could like,

like redeem the whole prom thing.

[soft music] [vocalist singing faintly]

Hm.

Well, we're on the right track.

- Call to fight evil?

- Well, it's more like right or wrong.

Again, mine, not yours.

- I'm the one- [Ben clicks tongue]

- It's 11:11.

So, uh?

[plastic rustling]

[items thudding]

[slow suspenseful music] [device chiming]

[quirky suspenseful music] [girl giggling]

[lively upbeat music]

[lively upbeat music continues]

[balloon pops and hisses]

♪ Cold sweats in the night ♪

♪ And I'm drenched ♪

- You were so ahead of your time.

Kids these days, is their spectacle asking out prom dates?

- Oh no, no, those kids? Those kids lack courage.

Yeah, they, they can't even ask

in an intentional sentence with, with more

than one syllable.

Prom? Question mark.

No, uh, that's a, that's a pseudo attempt, you know?

Made out of fear of actually having to have

a meaningful, reciprocal conversation.

No, no, I mean, that's solely manufactured

to be documented for some perceived social capital.

There's, there's no kindness.

No, there's no elegant pursuit

that makes another person feel seen

or, you know, wanted or known.

No, it's just some saccharine extension

of the one-sided placebo form

of faux communication.

I'm sorry, sorry.

- It was kind of an ambush.

♪ Tale as old as time ♪

- [gasps] You loved "Beauty and the Beast."

- In the 8th grade!

- I. [sighs]

Well, I thought,

yeah, because Belle loved reading books,

and she seemed okay with all the body hair,

that I- I thought it might be, like, aspirationally apt,

and "The Fugitive" doesn't really have

a soundtrack you can dance to, so.

[gentle bright music] ♪ Messing around ♪

♪ In your backseat tonight ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

- I'm sorry about all that.

- I'm, I'm sorry. I'm, I'm the one who should be sorry.

- No, no, I mean, I- I may not be a spectacle,

"Will you go to prom with me?"

1998 National Honor Society trip top secret.

- Like a "Beauty and the Beast" ambush kinda gal?

- No. But I am sorry for the after.

♪ I wanna keep my leash off, but you ♪

- No, you, you don't have to be sorry.

- Well, I can. I get to when I wanted to say it.

- I, you, you, you wanted to go with Scott,

so I- I mean, I was glad to do it.

- Yeah. That probably wasn't fun.

Breaking it off so publicly at lunch,

so I wouldn't look bad?

And when I went to the dance with Scott,

I appreciated what you did for me.

- Oh, I, you know, I- I did it for me.

Well, some.

Mostly. [chuckles]

It's, uh.

I mean, how much fun would it be

to dance with someone all night

who didn't wanna be dancing with you?

You know, like a, like a prom hostage? [chuckles]

- Yeah.

- It's not fair to you.

It's, it's not really fun for me, so.

♪ A song for anybody else but me ♪

♪ Don't make up a dance for anybody else but me ♪

♪ Ooh, I know ♪

- So I- I went with Margaret Vickers.

I mean, she asked me like right away,

after the news broke about us.

And, [sighs] and besides, I mean,

she saw me naked, so we already had a connection.

And then I took her home so she didn't miss

the last hour of TJF with her folks,

because those were her favorite shows,

and uh, went to my house

and watched "Braveheart" in my basement,

twice, two VHS tape set.

♪ For anybody else but me ♪

♪ Ooh, I know, Ohio boy ♪

♪ You're known for talking ♪

[device chimes] [gentle soft romantic music]

- Oh, I- I just wanted to say that these lyrics,

l- lovely though they may be,

don't accurately ref- reflect

my official position or any undue sentiment apropos

of like my earlier misunderstanding.

- Ben! - I just wanna be clear.

- Come.

[gentle soft romantic music]

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

- Scott ended up dancing the whole night

with someone else's date.

- I was aware, yeah.

[gentle soft romantic music continues]

- Oh, what was even more weird.

I had made the prom court for some reason.

- Hm. - And I'm standing there

thinking, "How did I even get here,

and why does it feel so nice

that these people I thought hated me,

or didn't even know I existed, voted for me

to be standing there in this sash?"

- Yeah, I'm, I was probably watching Mel Gibson

at this point.

I- I know it's problematic, just, the record still stands.

- And I win.

I'm prom queen.

Oh, but, but before I can dance with Alan v- um, van-

- Oh, van der Wijkde?

- Oh yeah. - Yeah.

- That guy. - The Dutch dude?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, before I can dance with Alan Whatever,

Scott comes up and asks if he can have a flower

from my prom queen bouquet for his, you know, child bride.

- Ah, Steffie Green.

- Yeah, and I say, "Sure, it's in the band room

where they store, you know, the crowns and stuff."

And then I dance with Alan, um, van-

- Van, van, van der Wijkde. - Yeah. Alan van, whatever.

And then I go back to look at these flowers, like these,

this empirical evidence that I'm not a complete loser

for this one fleeting moment in high school.

And I come in and there's my crown and my sash,

and then there's just rubble,

ribbons ripped, flowers destroyed,

like someone vomited a chrysanthemum sandwich.

- Like baby's breath's fiddle just blah blah everywhere?

- It was just a mess, a complete mess.

- [Ben] Oh.

- So I threw it in the trash and went home.

And I did not watch "Braveheart."

- Twice.

[Ben chuckles]

[soft bright music]

- Like some cruel trick becoming prom queen, anyway.

[bright upbeat music]

- Did you know that I, uh,

I used to request Guns N' Roses' "November Rain"

like at every dance, all the time.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, and I would, uh,

slip the college kid DJ like a fiver,

and then I would post up near Christie Deaver,

so, you know, I could ask her

to dance as soon as the song started.

[Fran chuckles]

And then, you know, for 8 minutes and 56 seconds,

you know, we, we could talk.

Well, ex- except for that awkward moment

in the bridge when you're not sure if you should

fast dance- - Oh!

- Or just keep wobbling.

[gentle upbeat music]

But, and, and there was some strategy to it,

but not, not like a trap,

I mean, they, they could go, you know?

I was just hoping that,

you know, may, maybe that she'd wanna stay.

But you, you, you could tell.

I mean, I- I- I could tell.

She was nice,

but she was just waiting for the song to be over.

[gentle upbeat music] ♪ But I still lick each one ♪

♪ And I ♪

- [Fran] I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch.

- You know, I haven't really been in a place to be touched.

I- I mean, emails not.

[Fran and Ben laugh]

I'm sorry. - No.

Oh God, I just wanted to get outta here, you know?

Find myself apart from this place, and from Mom.

- Well, did you?

Find yourself?

- Shut up.

I don't know. I love Chicago.

Loved finally having autonomy. Still do.

My private practice was going well

until I had to put it on hold.

But these last few years, losing Mom,

it's shifted some stuff, you know?

♪ And you're gonna be fine ♪

- [Ben] Yeah.

- How have you been since Lana, and?

- It's just like you forget

about your own stuff, kinda, you know?

- Yeah.

- [Ben] It doesn't really enter

into the equation after a while.

[gentle upbeat music] [vocalist harmonizing]

♪ And you're gonna be fine ♪

♪ You'll see ♪

- It's not all terrible, you know?

I'm grateful for it, you know, in a way,

but in, in, in a, in a big way.

[gentle upbeat music]

There's this privilege, you know, in learning

that people who let you love the most,

you know, they, they may end up

being the ones that, you know,

cause you the most pain.

You get to make this decision, you know, that acknowledges

that to be open to the good

that the, that the bad, or at least the hard,

you know, could, could be coming too.

- Mm-hmm. - It's like some kind of,

I don't know, like emotional physics.

- Yeah, [chuckles] and Newtonian feelings,

opposite and equal reaction.

Yeah, I- I felt closer to my mom

than I ever did when she was dying.

- Yeah.

And to be open for the good, you have to acknowledge

the possibility of the bad,

and sad.

[soft slow bright music]

♪ Sometimes I look in the mirror ♪

♪ And I stare at the bald spot at top of my head ♪

[gentle upbeat music]

- Are you gonna be able to do this?

Like, is this the place

where you wanna be right now?

I know you're going through a lot and so am I, but...

- I don't know if I,

yeah, I- I- I- I wanna be anywhere,

you know, right now.

- What do you mean?

- I don't know, I.

♪ 'Cause this mess ♪

- No, I- I mean, I had been thinking that.

♪ Ever been and I guess all of the ♪

[device chimes]

- I had been thinking that it's, it's,

uh, you know, after,

maybe it's just time to go.

No, I- I- I had been thinking,

n- not, I'm not like,

it was just hard to handle all the, like, the, um,

I don't know.

I don't know, like to think of...

[stammers] Like, like, like the kids, like these,

like these generations, you know, just below us?

I- I'm just alarmed by how much I'm bothered

by, like, millennials at all lately,

you know, I just, they're grasping

for any excuse to insulate them

from having to put in any actual effort

while exuberantly patting themselves on the back

for like minimal levels adulting, I just.

I mean, all that self-care and boundary talk,

often it's just camouflage

for acting like scaredy cat, self-important assholes!

No, I don't wanna hydrate.

Christ, when'd we all forget about electrolytes?

I haven't. That's why I ate all those chips.

- Okay, so you, so you want to, because of millennials?

- No, no, I'm sorry.

I don't, I don't, I don't know why I said that, I.

Maybe just people acting

like they have a, a monopoly on feelings.

I don't, I don't hate the kids.

I'm just a- aggressively

bewildered by them.

- Okay, let's, [sighs] let's put millennials

to the side for a moment.

Are you saying that you want to?

- No, I- I- I'm here, Franny. I- I am here.

I- I don't know if that's a sign

that I am or that I'm not.

I'm just saying that I had been leaning

to- towards the former.

- Former meaning after we're done here?

- Yeah, [stammers] no, I mean,

it's, it's all, it's just, I, it,

[stammers] it's like part of why I am here.

It's just part.

- Part of why you're here with me?

You agreed to be my donor,

so you're doing this because?

- So something would, I don't know,

so maybe I could feel like I did something right.

I- I could finally do something right.

Could do something right.

I could find, and I- I can't even do that either.

I- I'm just.

I wanna be honest about how things had been going.

And I- I- I thought you, that you may wanna know,

and I'm, I am sorry. - No, I'm glad

that you told me. - It's not like

I'm gonna go, I'm not. - I'm, I'm-

- I'm not- - I'm, I'm,

I'm glad you told me. - And now

I've just, and, and now I've ruined prom twice!

- No, you didn't, didn't ruin prom.

- Kinda, kinda,

kinda did. - No, no, no.

Stop being a negative narcissist!

You're not to blame for everything.

Okay? So? [chuckles]

I need a moment.

Why didn't you put this on the questionnaire?

- Well, you didn't ask it on the questionnaire.

- Oh, the questionnaire had to do with your general health.

I would think it would be a given that-

- What, what, to say something?

[stammers] Because I haven't seen you in like 25 years,

and it's really, Fran, it's really none of your business.

- It is my business!

It became my business when you agreed.

[Fran scoffing]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

Like, is there a history of, of this,

of mental illness, or anything like this,

in your family?

Your parents?

- No, just cancer.

- And your wife?

- My wife?

[sighs] I didn't, I didn't marry my cousin, Fran!

I just had my wife die on me.

So, so boom, you know, there I was!

- Okay, so you contemplating suicide is due to Lana,

your grief, your parents?

It's not something that precedes them, right?

Something chemical?

So, just so I understand.

Here you are,

here you are right now feeling these things,

hoping you can do something right before you what?

Kill yourself?

I'm sorry, but I am not sorry that I have to know.

Ben?

You know, the moment my mom died, she took this

long last breath.

It was just me and this hospice nurse.

Oh God, this nurse had been there every moment.

I couldn't have done it without her.

And my mom, she takes this last breath,

this, this.

[Fran exhales deeply]

[soft somber music]

[Fran sobbing]

And then she's gone. [scoffs]

And I- I look up at, at this nurse,

and she's just gazing at my mom,

as if I'm not even in the room.

And she, she whispers in wonder,

"It's just like giving birth."

And I had this surge of jealousy

that she, she understood something deep

and primal that I didn't, you know?

[soft somber music]

I don't dismiss this.

My heart breaks to see how hard this has been for you.

How hard it is still.

It truly does, but I- I can't pretend

that, as empathetic as I am to you,

somebody who I am truly glad to see

and to have here, and to have reconnected with,

I can't pretend that anything I feel about you

eclipses the health and happiness

of this long hoped for child.

I have tried to, to give you space

and time to fulfill your end of the bargain here.

I have tried to make this a safe space,

but I am done bending over backwards to accommodate.

I'm a 44-year-old woman who only has

a certain amount of time, [chuckles]

biologically speaking.

I am here to try to begin life,

not to help end it.

[soft somber music]

I booked the rooms through to tomorrow morning.

You're welcome to stay until your flight out.

[soft somber music]

- Franny! Franny!

[door thuds]

[soft slow somber music]

[Fran sighs]

[door thuds]

[soft slow somber music continues]

[phone ringing]

[Fran sighs]

[phone continues ringing]

- Ow.

[phone continues ringing]

[Fran sighs] [phone continues ringing]

[Fran sniffles]

Hello?

- Hello, I'm calling for Fran.

[Fran inhales and exhales deeply]

Fran, I, um.

I, uh.

[knuckles rapping]

- [Fran] Ben?

- Yes?

- [Fran] I need my coat and purse.

- Okay.

[footsteps tapping]

[device thuds]

[sighs] All right, I- I got it.

[door creaks]

[streamers rustle]

Oh.

[door creaks]

Fran, I- I ju-

[door thuds]

[gentle upbeat music]

[gentle bright music]

[Ben sighs] [vocalist harmonizing]

[gentle bright music continues]

♪ You know, I was really onto something ♪

♪ Coming round on a carousel ♪

[gentle bright music continues]

♪ Freedom, got the spirit up and running ♪

♪ Get the key when I ring the bell ♪

[gentle bright music continues]

[vocalist humming]

♪ Sad to see you stuck ♪

♪ Where I got to clear ♪

♪ Now steal my glass and drink away ♪

[gentle bright music continues]

♪ Maybe I don't like how long it takes ♪

♪ Thought I saw the sun for a second ♪

♪ But now I don't know if I'm gonna get it ♪

♪ Did I close my hand too fast ♪

♪ I'm bruised ♪

♪ Thought you were the one that, baby ♪

♪ Would take me to the floor and deliver ♪

♪ To the sky with the fall ♪

♪ And I'm not never coming home ♪

[bright solemn music] [vocalist harmonizing]

[car rumbling]

[metal clattering]

[car tires crunching]

[wind whooshing]

[door thuds]

[footsteps tapping]

[wind whooshing]

- Sorry, I- I was just kinda re- marooned

in your room, sans keys, sans coat,

sans everything.

I, there's not a coffee maker in there,

and the, and the office is still closed,

so I- I just ran these underneath the tap

till they got at least a little warmer.

Sorry.

Can I?

[gate clattering]

[gate thuds]

[chair scraping]

[traffic droning] [horns honking]

Morning. - Morning.

You want one?

- Yeah, but no, I don't.

Oh, well, [stammers] I don't.

Maybe I'll just hold one to, you know, be sociable.

- You want me to light it? - Yeah.

[lighter clicks]

Nice.

[Fran chuckles]

[lighter clicking]

[wind whooshing]

- I don't take for granted what you shared or-

- Sure. Appreciate that.

- How hard it must have been

to share it. - Sure.

No, no, no. - And I want you to know

that I don't blame you

or think- - Sure.

- You're bad for having those thoughts.

- Of course. Yeah. - I'm glad you shared.

You should share,

be sharing, Ben? - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah? - I- I appreciate

the verbal affirmation here- - Okay.

- But um, it's starting to feel

like I'm at that, at a little league game.

- Oh, you mean like, "Hey, batter, better swing better"?

- [Fran] Yeah.

- Oh.

Yeah, someone once told me

that, that verbal affirmation helps people know

that you're listening,

that you're like here with 'em.

- Yeah, that's fair,

uh, but we're getting into mumbly, auctioneer territory,

and I know you're here, so.

I just wanna make clear that all those things,

being glad you shared, you talking, all of it,

is not mutually exclusive

to the fiercely protective feelings I have

for this potential child.

And, and those are non-negotiable, those feelings.

They are not up for debate.

They can't be, if I'm going to make it through this.

Ben?

- Sorry, sorry, I- I just kinda course-corrected

a little too hard in the op, the other direction, I.

Listen, what, what I'm about to say is,

it, it doesn't contradict any of that.

It's a, you know,

a, a, a fuller, full-throated,

hell, yeah!

Hell, yeah, affirmation to, to all that,

this, and you, and, uh, this future

h- human being. [train horn blowing]

It's just, I- I know that there's probably this, uh, fear,

or like feeling, you know, that, um,

any kid that has a part of me

is, is probably gonna have like

those sad lost parts of me too.

That they're gonna, you know, probably have a problem,

like with, you know, fine motor skills,

like with scissors, you know?

The aforementioned, uh, metabolism issue,

or my family's predisposition for cancer,

or the autism issue.

- Wait, what?

- The autism.

You, you? Oh.

Oh, the, the, the doctor, my, my therapist,

sent me to this, this doctor,

'cause I was, well, I was having a hard time

making sense of everything that I was feeling,

and, and she said that, you know,

are like, um,

like three times more likely

to have like, suicide thoughts.

So that I might be, you know?

I was like, "No, no, I mean, no!"

I mean, that's like what people on social media use

as an excuse for acting like assholes.

But I went back and well, for like two months,

and I did all these tests.

I guess, you know, I'm, I'm kinda moving

out of the woods on the, the suicide part,

but I'm still solidly in the woods

on the, on the autism stuff.

Kinda tracks?

- Yeah.

- Historically?

- So my kid would most likely have a predisposition

to cancer, autism, suicide ideation-

- And, uh, issues with fine motor skills,

like scissors, and, uh, well, the metabolism thing.

- Right.

[traffic droning]

[train horn blowing]

But would also have the ability

to think up a way to make that.

I've never questioned why your brain worked the way it does.

I've just loved it.

[chuckles] You've always made such extraordinary things,

tried so hard, felt so much.

So maybe there's just as many good parts here too.

Shit, it's cold. [sniffles]

- Yeah.

- You wanna go for a drive?

- Yeah. [gentle upbeat music]

[car engine rumbling]

[gentle upbeat music continues]

♪ Oh, we had a good time toward the end there ♪

♪ In a well-lit house ♪

♪ We'd sit together on the couch ♪

♪ Watch the television screen for hours ♪

♪ I had you, you had me ♪

♪ And there were flowers ♪

[gentle upbeat music continues]

♪ Before the end there ♪

[birds chirping] [car engine rumbling]

- Ah. [car sensor beeping]

[car engine rumbling]

I just didn't want you to get cold, and uh,

I- I just wanted to say one quick,

I wanted you to know that, um,

that not going to prom with me didn't,

didn't like ruin me.

You know, that, that's not why I'd said

or did all that, I mean,

that wasn't why. - I know. I know.

[birds chirping]

How about we get some rest, huh?

Your flight isn't till this afternoon.

We can ask for a late checkout.

Okay.

[door thuds]

- Oh, thanks.

Hey, do you, do you wanna like, uh, swap the bedspreads?

Uh, [stammers] this one in, in your room

and that one here?

- Oh, shit, yeah, sorry, I...

Well, it probably doesn't matter, right?

It's not like they have trackers on them

and they'll know if we switched. [chuckles]

- Yours, yours kinda smells like cigarette smoke,

so I thought I- I could just like take the heat on me,

in, in case there's a, a fee.

- Okay.

Okay. [chuckles]

- Okay.

- Okay. Yeah.

Well, I.

[soft gentle upbeat music]

- Yeah, you too, Franny.

[door creaking]

[door thuds]

[gentle upbeat music]

♪ I took my time through the dark ♪

♪ Felt all my life in shades of night ♪

♪ I put my heart on the line ♪

♪ I lost it all for a little while ♪

♪ The other side keeps feeling farther away ♪

♪ When you've lost your way ♪

♪ I've been all the way down ♪

♪ But you know we all have our day ♪

♪ When we find our way ♪

♪ Everyone who has a heart ♪

♪ They've got to believe ♪

♪ When everything can fall apart ♪

♪ You've got to believe ♪

[gentle upbeat music continues]

[Ben coughing]

[Ben gulps]

♪ I get so low when I watch the news ♪

♪ The fools are in power, things ain't lookin' good ♪

♪ I've been sliding back into a losing fight ♪

♪ With my hurtin' heart ♪

♪ The other side keeps feeling farther away ♪

♪ When you've lost your way ♪

♪ I've been all the way down ♪

♪ But you know we all have our day ♪

♪ When we find our way ♪

♪ Everyone, you've got to believe ♪

♪ Oh, you've got to believe ♪

[upbeat music] [hands clapping]

♪ Oh, you've got to believe ♪ [knuckles rapping]

♪ Oh, you've got to believe ♪

- Bagels!

Mm! - Mm.

It's good. - Mm.

[Fran sighs]

Mm! [laughs]

You have a little on your ear.

- Oh, that's just shaving cream.

[Fran chuckles]

I was saving it for the next time I shave.

[Fran laughs] [Ben chuckles]

- Dad joke. - Hell, don't I wish.

[traffic droning]

Oh.

[Fran laughs] I'm so sorry.

I- - Oh my God!

- That is not funny at all. I am so sorry.

- No, it's actually really kind of funny.

[Fran laughs]

- All right.

[Fran sighs]

So good.

[birds chirping] [traffic droning]

- I don't know you anymore, do I?

[traffic droning]

[birds chirping]

But I've liked meeting you again,

and the man you've become.

[birds chirping]

[slow solemn music]

[bright solemn music]

[bright solemn music continues]

- I, uh, think I'm just, um,

gonna go pack.

- Why?

[bright solemn music continues]

[bright solemn music continues]

[door creaks]

[door thuds]

[bright solemn music continues]

[vocalist harmonizing]

[bright solemn music continues]

[vocalist harmonizing]

[gentle solemn music]

[traffic whooshing]

[birds chirping]

- [TV Announcer] Today, where we have

one really sweet event for you to enjoy this weekend.

[knuckles rapping] We have festivals

of all kinds in northwest Ohio, but.

[cup thuds]

- Uh, th- those were some pretty good bagels. [chuckles]

[Fran sighs]

Um, I- I wrapped it, you know, in case visually,

or also for some insulation.

And, and, and I know that I wasn't,

or this wasn't, you know, what, what you hoped for,

Franny, and I- I- I know that the past 24 hours

have been a whole thing and that I am,

I am also a whole thing.

Uh, but that I- I'm here and I- I'm not going to,

or in this process, I'm not, I'm not going anywhere.

I, u- unless you want me to go,

then of course I will go.

A hard gone, I am going.

But what I'm trying to say is that I know

that this is not easy,

but I- I'm, I'm kinda good at, at not easy things.

Um, and no matter h- how much you plan,

which you are very good at, all of that,

um, there's a high percentage, you know,

g- going forward,

that things are not going to be easy.

And, and, but I- I- I ca- I can be

of some help on those not easy parts, um.

We, I- I don't think you're a person

that needs a lot of help,

I- I think you can do just about anything.

- Shut up, Ben. Shut up. [laughs]

- Okay. Um.

I'll ju- I'll just.

There you go, and, um,

I think you have like 8 minutes and 56 seconds

for, uh, part one to finish up.

[device beeps] - Okay. [laughs]

- So I will, um.

[slow gentle rock music]

I will, uh, really pack

this time. [chuckles] - Yeah, okay. [laughs]

Okay.

[doors creaking and thudding]

[Fran sobbing] [slow gentle rock music]

[Fran gasps]

[slow gentle rock music continues]

[Fran sighs]

[slow gentle rock music continues]

[thunder rumbles] ♪ Oh ♪

[gentle rock music]

♪ Nothin' lasts forever ♪

♪ And we both know hearts can change ♪

[gentle rock music continues]

♪ And it's hard to hold a candle ♪

♪ In the cold November rain ♪

[rousing gentle rock music]

[gentle rock music]

[upbeat rock music]

[rousing gentle rock music]

[gentle rock music]

[Ben sighs]

[energetic rock music]

[energetic rock music continues]

[lively rock music]

[lively rock music continues]

♪ Don't you think that you need somebody ♪

♪ Don't you think that you need someone ♪

♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪

♪ You're not the only one ♪ ♪ You're not the only one ♪

♪ You're not the only one ♪ ♪ You're not the only one ♪

♪ Don't you think that you need somebody ♪

♪ Don't you think that you need someone ♪

♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪

[gentle rock music] [device chiming]

[Fran exclaims]

[gentle rock music continues]

[knuckles rapping]

[device continues chiming]

[rain pattering] [gentle music]

[door creaking]

- Is this gonna be something

that, that you need to use?

- Uh, I- I'm all set, so.

[vibrator thuds]

[bottle squeaks] - Hm!

- [Fran] Yeah.

[Fran gasps] - Sorry.

[birds chirping]

- Nice glasses.

- Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I know, I know they're kinda big,

but the doctor says they're, like, good

with my peripheral vision.

- Yeah, they're nice.

- Yeah. [birds chirping]

Uh, I think, I think I'm just gonna go

to the airport a little early.

They have these massage chairs.

I know, I know, they're kind of expensive,

but, well, I- I'm a member of the loyalty program, so.

[birds chirping]

Did, uh, did everything go okay?

- It went great, I- I- I think, you know?

Now I just wait. [chuckles]

- I- I know it's none of my business,

and, and, and with the forms legally. [stammers]

So please know, I like, I- I- I know all that.

It just, um, if you needed to,

or, or, or want to tell me-

- Of course. - How things go.

- Of, of course.

I- I'll, um, I'll call you.

I- is it okay if I call you?

- Yeah, yeah, sure. - Yeah, okay.

- And, and if anything happens,

I can be here, or there, wherever, however.

[birds chirping]

And, and if anything, it doesn't happen,

you know, yet, I can be there too.

[traffic droning]

- Thank you.

[birds chirping]

♪ Ooh, everybody needs some time ♪

♪ On their own ♪

♪ Ooh, don't you know you need some time ♪

♪ All alone ♪

[rousing gentle rock music]

[gentle rock music]

[gentle rock music continues]

[gentle rock music continues]

♪ And when your fears subside ♪

♪ And shadows still remain ♪ [vocalists humming]

♪ Oh yeah ♪

[gentle rock music continues]

♪ I know that you can love me ♪

♪ When there's no one left to blame ♪

[vocalists humming]

[gentle rock music continues]

♪ So never mind the darkness ♪

♪ We still can find a way ♪

[gentle rock music continues]

♪ 'Cause nothin' lasts forever ♪

♪ Even cold November rain ♪

[upbeat rock music]

[upbeat rock music continues]

[rousing gentle rock music]

[gentle rock music]

[upbeat rock music]

[energetic upbeat rock music]

[energetic upbeat rock music continues]