All language subtitles for House Party - 1994 - 3.en

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

(male #1)
'You may now kiss the bride.'

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

(female #1)
'Play, he's so fine.'

(female #2)
'Ooh, he looks good.'

(female #3)
Can I change his mind?

[instrumental music]

Ooh, I need you.

Come back here.

I love you.

[music continues]

[moaning]

(female #4)
'Don't do it!'

[alarm ringing]

[panting]

Yo.

Yo, this wedding
got me buggin'.

[thuds]

[grunts]

Oh, yai.

- Hey.
- 'Hey.'

Hey, how about a nice, big,
juicy good morning kiss?

Not with that
good morning breath.

Ha.

Well.

Look, just one kiss.

Come on. That's all I want.
Just one kiss. Come on.

- Okay.
- 'Come on back.'

Since you're so sweet,
you can have just a little--

Yah!

[giggling]

Hi-yah!

What are you doing?

- What am I doing?
- What are you doing?

Sergeant Sausage is present

and ready for duty, okay?

Prepare for insertion.

[laughing]

Wait. At ease.

Sergeant Sausage,
Veda's a
vegetarian.

Look, just calm down
and close your eyes, alright?

It ain't gonna take but a
minute
while I'm up in it.

So, I'm marrying
the minute man now, huh?

Sure. You knew that going in.
You knew that.

- Kid, stop.
- What?

(Veda)
The wedding is days away.

I know. And my nuts are
as blue as these sheets.

- Oh.
- Come on, hit a nigger off.

Oh, I'll hit you, alright.

Hi-yah!

[phone ringing]

[Shireen on answering machine]
'Hi, this is Shireen
from "The Good Girls"'

'Leave me a message..'

Come on, baby, let it run.

Can't be anybody important.
I'm already here.

Oh, uh-uh. I gotta get it.
It might be about a job.

(Stinky on phone)
'Yo, hey, hey, hey,
wake up, Play.'

- Shit.
- Hey, girl, I know he's
there.

I don't know
why your fine ass

is wasting your time
with him anyway.

You need to be
chillin' with me.

Because, girl, you know,
I'll lick you up and down

like a ice cream cone
on a hot summer's day.

Damn, you are fine, girl.

It's your friend
that's not potty-trained.

It's my cousin, baby.

And someone's gotta
look out for him.

Or just look out.

Boy, you sure look good
this mornin'.

You're missing
something, though.

Check this out.

Aw, yeah.

Now..

...talk to me.

What's up for breakfast?

Talk to me.

Talk to him.
Let's give to him.

I'll tell you, you know,
based on the color scheme

I think this
looks
better on you.

(Stinky)
'Listen, man, we gotta get
ready to pick up'

'Kid's little dread-head
cousins
from the airport'

and then we gotta plan
the bachelor party.

And then, we need to talk
about
my 50, 50, 50 fractions

of Kid and Play's productions
that you guys owe me

for my personal services, man.

Stinky, if you go to school
like your mother wants you
to

you'd understand
the business
more.

The percentages
instead of the
fractions.

And right now..

...I'm trying to close
a very important business
deal.

I'm gonna have
to get with you later,
Stinky.

(Kid)
'I'm not asking
for much, okay?'

'Why don't you just hook me up
some of that French toast'

'that you be makin',
alright?
French toast'

where you have it stacked up

and just-just laying on
the side, the strawberries..

And it just hang chillin'.

(Veda)
'I've never made
any French toast.'

You have me confused
with Sydney again.

Damn!

Oh, ha-ha!

Check it out.
You know what happened?

I'mma tell you what happened.
I was trippin'.

I made a mistake.

See, what had happened was

that was Play, okay?

And he had

uh, gone to France

right, with his girl

and at one point
they made a toast.

So it was a French toast.

Don't even try it, Kid.

People do not toast
with malt liquor

and that is all I have
ever seen Play drink.

You're busted.

What's up with you?

When we started goin' out

you promised me
we could make a demo.

A demo?
Come on, baby.

I can do
better
than that.

I'm talkin' about hooking you
up
with one of the largest

promoters that ever lived.

Brother by the name of Showboat.

I'm gettin' with
him
this mornin'.

- Yeah, right.
- That's right.

And, um..

...I hope when we
give you that call..

...that surprise
call,
that you're ready.

- Play.
- Yep.

- 'Play.'
- What?

Oh.

I sure hope Kid's cousins
have bus fare.

Oh, Janelle is throwing me
a little party Friday night.

'Nothing big.
Just a few of the girls.'

Perhaps some wine.

A male stripper.

Well, have a good time,
alright,
you know.

Let me know what went down
with that, alright?

(Veda)
'Okey-dokey.'

- Yoo-hoo.
- Yes, darling?

Did you say male dancer?

No. I said "Stripper."

Uh? Oh, oh, my bad.
Stripper?

Janelle got some
guy
named Night Heat.

- Night Heat?
- Night Heat.

She thought the girls
would get a kick out of
it.

- Can I kick Janelle?
- No, you can't kick
Janelle.

In the organ of my choice,
can I kick her, repeatedly?

No, you can't
because
she will kick you
back.

And I can't have you two
kicking each other, you know.

See you later.

Johnny Booze, what's up?
Yeah, it's Playtime.

Yo, we gotta make this
brief, man

'cause I'm-I'm calling
from the car.

Yeah, my boy,
his bachelor party.

That's right.
Of course, I got the dough.

Yo, just get a pen out, man.

Friday night,
at the Densmore Hotel.

That's right.
Now, who you got?

Angina Williams?

Angina? Angina Williams!

Yo, ain't that the girl
that does the disappearing act

with the beer bottles?

Bet. Perfect for Kid.

Yo, good lookin' out, man.
Don't let me down, man.

Alright cool.
Peace out, black.

Yo, Angina Williams, man.
Tell me somethin'.

How did your foul ass
pull some moves like that, man?

I keep trying to tell
you
and Kid, man.

It's the American way.

[airplane droning]

(Marcus)
'Excuse me, sir.'

Yes, can I help you?

Sir, we just flew in
from Detroit

to perform in front
of some senior citizens

and all our luggage is gone.

Our show clothes.

My CD player.

George.

George? Who's George?

You know. George.

- His teddy bear.
- Oh, your teddy bear.

Gee, I'm so sorry,
but I know how it feels.

My Slinky died two years ago.

I still wake up crying.

'This is an insurance form.'

'You know how to fill it
out,
don't you?'

You write down
"Socks, $50,000."

And you were carrying
a car in your suitcase.

May God bless you.

Oh, and God bless you, too.

Sorry about the eye.

Did you lose that
in luggage also?

(kid #1)
Aye, yo, yo, yo, slow down.
Pull over here.

Yo, what for?

(kid #2)
Man, just pull over.

We gotta get
our luggage, fool.

Yo, I thought they lost
your luggage.

Nah, stupid. You really think we
dumb enough to lose our luggage?

We were just trying to make
some more little vacation
money.

You know, to bring
some girls to Hawaii.

Yo, do you know what you
three punks just did

is against the law, man?

You could end up
in juvie hall.

And that's the first stop
on the way to the big house.

You know what they do to
little
boys in the big house?

- Make little girls out of
'em.
- That's right.

So when we get
there,
we'll say hello

to all your low-life friends.

So, take us to Capital
Records,
MCA records

Motown and Virgin Records

to let everybody know that
Immature is in the house.

The only house
you're gonna be
in

is in the house you're
gonna
be in for all this summer

when you're on
punishment, man.

You ain't gonna be cuttin'
up
like you did last summer

you understand me?

[upbeat music]

Yo, watch the finish.

Watch the finish.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

The wild bunch is here.

[indistinct chatter]

Yo, ho-ho, what's up fellas?

- What's going on?
- What's up, man?

[indistinct chatter]

Hello, Aunt Lucy.
What's up, Veda?

- Aunt Lucy.
- Huh?

These are your brother,
Petey's grandchildren.

If you say so.

Honey, your pants
are too big

but Aunt Lucy gonna
take care of that.

Play and Stinky, I brought
some lunch for you and the
boys.

It's in there
on the kitchen table.

- Oh, word.
- Oh, word.

That's what I'm talking about
and I hope everybody ate

'cause I ain't saving
a damn thing.

Fellas, I want you to meet
my fiance, Veda.

Hi guys.
Oh, you're so cute.

Look at your little dreads.

I don't know which one of you
is the cutest.

You pretty cute yourself, too.

Damn, Kid, I didn't know
you had it going on like
this.

'She is fine.'

Hey, but, Kid, what happened
to that big booty girl?

You know, the one you went
to college with.

Ooh, uh, look at the time.

You know, we have a meeting
today that we're late for.

We have a meeting,
so we have to go.

And we're late.
Uh, Play.

Uh, Stinky. Play.

You know, the big booty girl.

I think her name was Sydney.

Play, Stinky, look,
we got a meeting.

Come on, let's roll.

Well, what's with all
these worms

in your head, boy?

I hope you left some
food
for the little ones.

Of course, we did, Aunt Lucy.
Of course, we did.

Now, well, of course, I did.

Now, Veda said you could
have
something to eat.

She didn't say go and eat
up
all that Chinese food.

It was fried
chicken,
Aunt Lucy.

Hush your mouth.

Chinese people don't eat
fried chicken.

What?

Yo, Kid, I'm telling
you
right now, man

we're gonna sell
Sex As A Weapon to Showboat.

Wait a minute, we haven't
even signed 'em yet.

I thought we were having
this meeting to find out

if he was even
interested in them.

Come on, Kid, you know,
I got the skills, man.

We're gonna get
the girls to sign.

We gonna sell them
to Showboat, man.

It's the American way.
Selling what you don't own,
man.

- I do it all the time.
- 'Look.'

This could backfire, man.

This could backfire big time.

Play, don't you know what
you're doing is against the
law?

Keep it up,
and you'll end up in the
joint

in the cell next to ours.

- Yeah.
- Just once.

Come on, just once, man.

- Let me just hit him once.
- No.

Whoo!

[instrumental music]

Okay, have a seat, guys.
Have a seat.

Look, now, we're here
on business, alright?

I want you guys to act like
you
got some home training, okay?

Man, we know how
to act in public.

Alright, I don't wanna have
to hurt you.

[snooker ball striking]

(Showboat)
'No, I-I told you,
I'm not hearing that rumor.'

Forget about it, look, I'll come
over there and slap your mouth.

You better get my money.
I'm not playing, boy.

Get my money.
Get it now.

(Play)
'Showboat, what's up?'

Hey, hey, hey, fellas.
Fellas.

Let's make some money.
Talk to me quick.

Whoo!

- Uh, Showboat--
- Hey, yo.

Move that shit
off the table.

Thanks, slice.
Go ahead.

Uh, Showboat

we really wanna work with you.

Now we have
what we believe to be

a very solid
business proposition

that'll prove to be
lucrative
for all parties involved.

Well, I like it so far.

You know, that girl group
Sex As A Weapon, right?

Oh, yeah, them
girls
are on, slice.

Well, it just so
happens
we signed them

into an exclusive
contract
yesterday, man.

And, um,
we wanna go on
tour.

And we wanna do
business with
you.

You know, I got a 12 city
tour
of the Chitlin Circuit.

Uh, we about to
start right now.

And you know, a group like
Sex As A Weapon, whoo

could set that baby on fire.

Give me three G's, my brother,
and we got a deal.

Wait a minute.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Why do I need to go
through you?

I'm the man.

Shit, Play, you ain't
nothing but a sucker MC.

And Kid,
your jelly ain't shit.

Stinky, well, I think
the name speaks for itself.

Yo, man, my name ain't
Stinky, man, it's James.

- 'No need to get all
excited.'
- 'Uh, see.'

You don't seem to understand,
Sex As A Weapon

ain't doing jack
without our say so.

Uh, uh, uh!

What he means to say, Showboat

is that, uh, they respect
our opinions with regard

to their career
moves,
okay, now--

Yo, Kid, cut all that
bullshit out, man.

Yo, you obviously don't know
who you dealing with up in
here.

How you work this thing?

I know who I'm
dealing with, motherfucker

and it better be local.

[phone ringing]

- Hello.
- Yeah, this is Play. Uh.

Say hello to
the man himself, Showboat.

Showboat, I can't believe
it's for real.

Yeah, shit's unbelievable,
baby.
I know. Go ahead. Go ahead.

(Play)
'Uh, we're sittin' here
talkin' about

'a 12 city tour, sweetheart'

and, um, all you gotta do
is say "Yes"

and Play will take care
of the rest.

[screams]

There it is.
Um, you know what?

I'll bring home the condoms..
I'm sorry.

I'll bring home
the contracts tonight, baby.

Keep it clean.

Uh, hook them up, Ms. Pain.

Hook me up.

Uh, aren't there a few things
that we should discuss

before we, uh, start taking
Showboat's money?

- 'What are you talking
about?'
- Kid, Kid, Kid.

Ain't nothing but
a G thing, baby.

We all adults here.
Showboat trust us.

He's a businessman.
We are businessmens.

Ha, you a silly motherfucker.

Showboat don't trust shit.

No, no, no,
my daddy always said

"Don't trust nobody but your
mama and then cut the deck."

Fuck that. Make sure you do
what you say you gonna do.

You got my money, boy.

'Oh, oh, oh.
One more thing.'

Go out, have a good time
but look, look, look, look

whatever you do,
you talk about my mama

steal my car,
take my jewelry

but don't, don't,
mess with my money.

Oh, when you do that, you..

[crushing]

[snapping]

Then you messin'
with the wrong G.

The wrong G.

Now, um..

...here's the list of those
12 cities we talkin' about.

'Uh, make sure
you have those girls'

'sign that contract
by tomorrow.'

And until then, heh..

...let's make some money.

It was just really nice
this morning, you know.

Kid had his reunion
with his little
cousins.

And they are three of
the cutest little boys

you ever want to see,
until one of them asked
Kid

what happened
to the big booty
girl

he used to date in college.

- Oh, no, he didn't.
- Oh, yes, he did.

- Was he talking about Sydney?
- Don't you say that "S" word.

Oh.

Not with this day
I've been having.

Not only that.

Kid kept going on about

how good my French toast is.

But you don't
like
French toast.

Look, Veda, you're my baby
cousin, and I love you.

But if you're having
second thoughts about this

'then maybe you oughta
keep on thinkin'.

'Now, you're more than welcome
to continue living with me.'

- I love having you.
- 'No.'

If Kid were not ready
he would not have

saved for our condo.

Bought me this ring.

He could have a car.

Janelle, I am wearing
the man's car.

He announced our engagement,
not me.

He never got this far
with Sydney.

Yeah, that's 'cause Sydney
has some sense.

[jazz music]

Okay, guys. Guys, guys.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Calm your nerves.
Have a seat. Have a seat.

Alright? Just sit down and do
whatever Stinky tells you to.

Okay? You sit down too.

Man, I keep telling you
I ain't no babysitter

for these kids, man.

I need to be trying
to impress them girls, man.

Play, take me with you, man,
they look at me

they're gonna sign
that contract.

Stinky, do me a favor.

Either wash your ass

or sit the hell down
and shut up.

Please.

Shi..

Hi, Kid.

Hi, Kid.

Uh.. I mean, hi, ladies.

You know what, uh,
we need to talk

in a better
business
atmosphere, so, uh

why don't we kick it in
the bar with some
drinks?

Our treat.

Right this way.
Right this way.

Please.

Ooh, this is what
I'm talking about.

Getting down to
the real
nitty-gritty.

Some business.
Some ballistics,
y'all.

- He's right.
- Real business.

Business minds.
Big money.

Business. Kid.

- Kid?
- Uh.

Oh. I'm-I'm sorry.

You got to excuse my
friend,
he's zoning out.

This weekend,
he's getting
married.

And, um, you know,
we're planning

a big bachelor
party
for him on Friday.

You know what?

Why don't y'all come down

and help me change his mind?

Well, anyway, for starters,
uh, let's get some drinks.

[speaking in foreign language]

That's French, you know?

(male #2)
'Hi, can I take a drink
order?'

Um, I'd like a Slow Screw
Against the Wall.

Ooh, and I'll have
a Sex on the Beach.

You know what? I can take
care
of these orders myself.

Beat it, Benson.

Oh, wait, before you go, uh

we'll have two
tap waters with ice.

Domestic with a twist.

♪ Aw yeah ♪

♪ Immature's in the house ♪

♪ Ready to tear it up ♪

♪ With the help
of the boys and the band ♪

♪ We gonna kick a little
somethin' like ♪

♪ Somethin' somethin'
somethin' like this ♪

♪ Three small brothers
you might call pint sized ♪

♪ Kickin' and we be focused
down before your eyes ♪

♪ Don Jerome
and my name is Marcus ♪

♪ Step into the stage now you
know we're gonna spark this ♪

♪ Microphone
'cause the heat is on ♪

We generated quite a bit
of heat with your demo.

Frankly, we're very confident

that we can get you
a label deal.

We want you to sign with us.

Yo, cut the bull.

Sign with us,
pow,
twelve-city tour

that's the way we roll.

Hello.

- Pow.
- Pow.

And there it is.

A twelve-city
tour
for real?

- 'That's right.'
- Hold up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

A twelve-city tour
just might be alright

if we go to places
like Montreal

'New York, DC, okay?'

That's what I'm talking about.

- Say what? Say huh?
- Say what? Say huh?

I like that.

Ah, heh, well

here's the itinerary, heh.

Alright. Now.

Bugtussle, Oklahoma?

Stand Back, Alabama?

Nigger keep running,
Mississippi?

- Not even.
- Hold up.

Hold up.

See, y'all niggers
ain't gonna play us like
that.

Y'all know we roll
like filet mignon

and y'all tryin' to play us
out
like some soybean burgers.

Brah, we have better
things to do.

- Who's she calling?
- 'This is Collette, mm-hm.'

Sex As A Weapon.
Yes, we're ready to do
business.

You know what, guys, um

I think it's fair
to let y'all know that

we been meeting with
Coldblood Management and--

Coldblood?
He's a crook.

That punk will rob you
for all the loot you
make.

I'm tellin' you right now.

Straight up and
down,
on the reals.

(female #5)
'I don't know what
y'all talking about.'

He said, that he would get us

a Mustang 5.0.

- What did you say?
- 5.0?

- Okay.
- Mm-hm.

(Colette)
'Cinco pointo zero.'

Okay, uh, for starters, uh,
we could hook you up

with a budget
for your wardrobe.

For your wardrobe,
for your first tour.

- 'No.'
- 'No.'

Coldblood already said
he'd give us our

own fashion designer, okay?

That's all you want?
We got the best in the west.

We're talking
uh, Aunt Lucy's
Fashions.

♪ Funky freestylin'
that's with 3D ♪

♪ Run home and tell all your
friends what we did ♪

♪ Mixing hip-hop
with this thing called jazz
♪

♪ If you can't fold
you can kiss my ♪

♪ Ask me no questions
I tell you no lies ♪

♪ That's how this thing goes
kicking it with the lingo ♪

♪ Crispy like a Pringle ♪

He already guaranteed us
4.34 percent

'of the venue gross receipts'

based on generally accepted

industry account
practices, so

we anticipated that you could
at least give us 4.5 percent.

You know what I'm saying,
to fatten the pockets

and give me the isms
to put the cash in my hand.

Sound good to me. You?

- Okay.
- That might not be a problem.

Wait, wait. Okay.
Alright, um, alright.

- If Coldblood's gonna go
there.
- Right.

(Kid)
'Okay, perhaps we can
adjust these figures'

so that we're looking at..

- Shit.
- Uh!

Wait, wait,
wait a minute. Okay.

Uh, perhaps we can, eh,
perhaps we can, um..

Wait, wait, wait
we change the figures

to reduce
some of our overhead.

Uh, flip it,
uh, carry the three

and then we're looking at..

Hell, no.

[sighs]

Wait, wait, wait, alright.

Hold up, hold up a second.
Hold up a second.

Alright, how about this?

We give you Play's cut.

- So that we're looking at--
- Nigger, you're buggin'.

Check this out.
It's gonna be a G per
show.

We'll take care of all the
hotel
and the travel arrangements.

And that's as fair as it's
gonna
get. I'm putting my foot down.

Well, ladies, lookie here.

- Lookie here, lookie here.
- Lookie here, lookie here.

Looks like Coldblood's deal is a
little bit better than this one.

And when y'all become big-time,
and can beat that 5.0.

Give us a call.

You know what?
It's too bad too.

'Cause I was just about
to make me a new friend.

Sorry for you.

Yo, wait a minute, wait a
minute, we can work this
out.

- Yo, yo, hey, hey, yo.
- See you, bye.

- Slow.
- See you, bye.

Damn, man.
Shit! We almost had 'em,
man.

"Aunt Lucy's Fashions?"

♪ We're just here to give
a kick in the booty ♪

♪ So feel free
to make a contribution ♪

That's right, ladies and
gentlemen, you heard the kids.

We available
for children's parties

bar mitzvahs, sweet sixteens,
weddings, anything.

Just put some money in the
hat.
It's for the kids.

Come on, man, do something
for the kids, huh?

Heal the world.
You know what I'm saying?

Heal the world,
just for the kids, you know?

Hey, who put a food stamp
in the hat?

[siren wailing]

(male #3)
'Hey, yo, what up?'

'This is Ex-Con Caterer'

'where we do chicken right.'

'You know, something like

the warden used to

whether you like it or not.

I remember, one time
I was in jail

I didn't eat the food,
they locked me in the hole.

Six weeks down there,
wondering why.

Nobody came to visit.
No phone calls.

No nothing,
I'm just down there storming

'cause I didn't eat
the damn food.

I ain't got to eat the food
the warden give me.

Yo, yo, Butcher, Butcher,
nigger, chill out.

We got the pardon.
We free.

Chill out.

Hey, who the hell is this?

Oh, how you doing, mama?

'What you want?
200 pounds of chilies'

'for Saturday night.'

'You got it. No problem.'

Hey.

Oh, look, what the
fuck
we got here.

Three mark-ass NAPAs.

Yo, man, fuck all that.

What's up with my order
for Friday night, huh?

It depends on
what your bitch ass
get.

What the fuck you
want,
some chilies

some cheese, spam,
tuna, some tomatoes?

What the fuck you want?

[door opens]

Hey, look out.
Look out, punk.

Come on in, Big Dukey.

- Big Dukey?
- Big Dukey.

Yo, man, it's obvious
this ain't no damn Benihana's.

You know what I'm saying?
Look, man, this is all we
want.

Some chicken wings, hot dogs,
and a case of 40s. You got
that?

First of all, you need
to calm the fuck down

and go gargle, funky.

Man, my name is Stinky.
Stinky, alright?

Well, Stinky,
funky,
smell hella bad.

- It's all the same.
- Fuck all that.

Nigger, your name is Funky
'cause you come up in here

smelling like butt crack now.

Yo, squash all that, man,
all I'm talkin' about

the food better be on,
you hear what I'm sayin'?

Oh, look at this nigger,
Mr. Baller, Mr. High
Roller

Mr. Flashing Fucking Money.

Since you got it like
that,
punk, pay a nigger
now.

You got my food now?

Or maybe do you have
my food now?

Fuck all the dumb shit.
Let me tell you something.

You don't come in
this motherfucker

makin' no goddamn demands.

We will fuck around, throw
your
punk ass on the grill.

Straight make
some barbecued bitch.

No, fuck all that, nigger,
bake all three-day punk asses

make three-bitch pie now.

Look, why don't we just give
them all the money now, okay?

Yo, forget that, Kid, man.

The original deal
was a deposit.

I refused to be intimidated
by these three losers.

That's bullshit, man.
It's just bullshit.

Especially to like some midget
like you, you hairy bastard.

- Kick it, cuz.
- Look here, motherfucker.

I'll kick you in your
nuts
and make your jaw
swell.

You think he won't,
you think he won't

you punk-ass, niggers, huh?

Look, look,
just give them the money.

- No, Kid.
- Look, okay.

Just have the food there.
Thank you.

- Yo, the food better be on.
- Your sister better be on.

- Your mother's on.
- Your grandmama's straight on.

(Play)
Check this out.

After this tour

you two are gonna be the bomb.

You're gonna blow up.

Trust me.

Trust me.

Now, you're gonna remember
to listen

to that tape I gave you, right?

Of course, I listen to
anything worth holding onto

and believe me, y'all two
definitely got something

I got to get my hands on,
word up, you know.

Talent scouting again, huh?

[chuckles]
Play, you workaholic.

You know what? I gotta take
care
of something real quick.

I'll get right back at you.
We're gonna get into this.

We're gonna get into this.

Janelle, Janelle,
what's up,
sweetheart?

Tell me something, Play.

Doesn't it ever bother you?

What?

Misleading women
the way you do.

- Misleading women?
- Yeah.

Janelle, they are a group.

I am a manager.

In the entertainment business

they work together.

I'm working with them.
Come on, now, you know my style.

And helping yourself to some
while you're at it, right?

Well, you comin' off
like
they're supposed to be
like

helpless
females,
or something.

I mean, let's
think
about it here.

Has it ever occurred to you
that
perhaps they're enjoying this

just as much as I am?

Have you ever
thought about
that?

Yeah, I have,
and it frightens me.

Look, the sooner
we get this started

the sooner I can
get outta here.

Now, did you reserve
the tuxes for the ushers?

Yes, I reserved the
tuxes
for the ushers

and I'm gonna pay
for them too.

Well, that's the least
you could do.

The bride pays
for everything else.

And it'll be the last
thing
she probably pays for.

I mean, right after
that ring is on her
finger

that's pretty much her
carte blanche to do

whatever she pleases
while my man's out
there

breaking his back
'cause she turns

into the "Give
me
give me girl."

I knew you was primitive

but I didn't think
you was a pure cave man.

Now, I guess it goes down like
that with those gold-digging

hoochie-mama, gut bucket
skeezas you attract.

But tell me something, baby,
what do you really

have to offer?
I mean, really?

Well, it just so happens
that what I have to offer

might be more than
you can handle,
Janelle.

And when you are ready
to become a full-fledged
woman

why don't you give me a call?

Baby, I'm full,
I'm fledged

and I'm all woman.

But I need more..

...than a snack.

I need a whole meal.

Janelle, sweetheart.

Woman, I'll have
you talking in
tongues.

- I gotta go.
- I'll bet you do.

You done lost your mind.

And, uh, speaking of tongues..

...like I said..

...you two are gonna be big.

Man, I ain't got no money.

I gotta get
the millionaire's
spot.

Come on, multiplatinum.

[claps]
Oh, multiplatinum,
baby.

- I'll be rich.
- Oh, you'll be paid today.

- Pay him up.
- You pay him up, punk.

Everybody pay me up. Come on.
Both of ya'll pay.

Hey, what's up, guys?
What's going on?

What's up, Cousin Kid?

- What kind of game is that?
- The music biz.

- Yup.
- The music biz.

This one's a concert promoter.

Yeah, this beautiful woman
right here is..

Hm-mm-mm..

- Is a groupie.
- See, Kid, we're ready.

We got the game down.

Now, it's all about
getting paid big-time.

- You know real money.
- 'Look, look.'

It's not easy, okay?

I've been in the music
business
for four years now

and it doesn't get any easier.

It's very difficult.

And you have to work
really hard.

Don't worry, Kid.
We're smart.

We see how to do it wrong
by watching you and Play.

Y'all some good teachers.

[door bell ringing]

Hey, boy!

- Uncle Vester.
- Kid.

- Aunt Lucy.
- Oh.

- Look at that woman there.
- Oh, Vester.

- Lord have mercy.
- It's so good to see you.

- Come here, woman.
- Oh.

I'm over here.

[both laughing]

How you doing? You
still
crazy as a betsy bug.

And looking good too, woman.

Lookin' like a birthday
sandwich. What's up,
Kid?

Well, if you're the
yellow
version of your pappy.

Aunt Lucy..

Mm.

Damn.

- Boy, I miss your father.
- 'So do I.'

Damn, I wish he was here.

Me too, Uncle Vester.

Besides, he owe me a $150.

Uncle Vester,
do you remember me?

Boy, remember you?
Let me tell you.

Last time, boy, I saw you,
you was his size

and last time, boy, I saw you

you was his size,
and last time I saw you

there was quarter pile of
doo-doo in your drawers.

Hey, man, you just got here
don't be sweating me like
that.

Sweating you?
Boy, I ain't began to sweat
you.

First thing tomorrow mornin',
we're going down

to Elmo's barbershop and
cut that Jamaican voodoo stuff

off of your head.

Hey, Kid, you better
regulate your uncle

before I bust a cap
in his butt.

What you say to me?

What you say to me, boy?

Let me tell you something, boy--

I said Uncle Vester
cool like that.

That's what I thought
you said.

[laughs]
That's what I thought
you said.

You right. Aunt Lucy, heh,
I bought you something.

You know I can't come
without bringing you anything.

- You didn't.
- Hey, my favorite auntie.

Yeah. Ha-ha!

You know I did.
Look here. This is for you.

Oh, Vester.

Isn't that beautiful?

"If lost, please return

to 1637 Blast
Ave.
Los Angeles."

Vester.

Sit down.

Okay, look, alright.

I think it's about
that time, guys.

Let's go to bed, okay, and
we'll
play the game tomorrow.

I'll take 'em upstairs, come
on.
Where's the stairs, honey?

Yeah, the stairs are right where
they've always been, Aunt Lucy.

- Okay.
- Doggone right.

Ten o'clock supposed to be
in the bed any doggone way.

Only my Kool-Aid
don't know the flavor.

Ain't my business.

So-so, boy, you're getting
married, man.

So tell me about your finance.
Is she pretty?

- Oh, my fiance?
- Yeah. Yeah. Took my boy..

- 'Ooh, oh, she's very
pretty.'
- Can she cook?

- Oh, yes, she can cook.
- 'Good.'

You, you don't have..

She ain't knocked up, is she?

- No, no.
- 'Good. Good.'

Well, you got Uncle Vester's
blessings, man.

Uncle Vester's gonna go on
upstairs. I'm kind of tired.

(Kid)
'Uncle Vester, before you go'

I-I just wanted to
ask you something.

- What you need, son?
- Well..

See, my girl and I,
we get along fine.

But I'm just having
a, a little problem

getting her
parents
to like me.

Parents? What you want 'em
to get to like you for?

Boy, just be yourself.

If people don't like you
if you're being yourself..

...fuck 'em.

'Let me tell you something
I just got with a girl'

'when I was about your age.'

I tried to please
her pappy all the time.

Went out of my way
to please her pappy.

I come in one day, I said,
"Nice weather we having."

He said, "You can't say that.

You can't say that.
It might rain."

I said,
"Nice tie you got on."

He said, "You can't say that.

My wife tried to
choke me with it."

The point I'm trying to
tell you, son, is be
yourself.

People don't like that you're
being yourself, fuck 'em!

Fuck 'em up against the wall

with handcuffs on

and Krazy Glue on their lips.

That's all you do.

Hmm.

- Words to live by.
- 'Live by 'em, son.'

Okay, um, I'm gonna go to
the club now, uh, Uncle Vester

and...just go.

(Vester)
You-you-you go on
and enjoy yourself, boy.

You're about to sell your
soul
in a couple of days.

Brother, you did a good job.

He's a good kid.

Always been a good kid.

That's why we call him Kid.

Boy just needs some
goddamn fun

like Casper,
the friendly ghost.

Scared the hell out of me
when I came here.

Fistballed it my damned self.

Mm.

Mm!

[rap music]

♪ I pick up the microphone
just like a slip of Cincy ♪

♪ Rhythm or soul we came to
roll
we got it goin' on G ♪

♪ Word to the mama
you concur and agree ♪

♪ So come down select
with some versatility ♪

♪ Well if the versatility
that make you think ♪

♪ I don't know rock ♪

[rapping indistinctly]

[knocking on door]

[indistinct singing]

- What's up, Black?
- What's up, Play.

- Party's in the house.
- Oh. What's up.

What's up, Black?

What's up, my queen?

Yo, Kid, RAS Posse
is working it, man.

♪ Now when I'm on a race
I check my finish with a photo
♪

♪ And yo yo when I rock
I ring bells ♪

♪ Like Quasimodo the soapster ♪

♪ I warms it up like a
toaster
doing what I'm 'posed to ♪♪

[indistinct singing]

Now, who needs
Sex As A Weapon, man?

I mean, come on, think about
it,
we got enough dope groups.

- Hey, Kid.
- Hello.

[indistinct singing]

I hear you're getting married.

- Too bad.
- Oh, no, no.

He's not married yet. He
hasn't
jumped the broomstick yet.

She's intense.

Uh-uh, thanks, but no,
thanks, Maxine.

- I'm already taken.
- Okay.

But if you change your mind..

[indistinct singing]

...call me.

Yo, man, you done
crossed over, man.

Any natural man
would've
waxed that ass, man.

You and this Veda thing,
man,
all she's gonna do is

ask you to jump and all
you
gonna go is, "How high?"

Look, don't you get it?
I love Veda, okay?

I'm getting married to her.

I'm just trying to go into
the situation right, thank
you.

Yo, Kid,
you've changed, man.

I just hope after you
get
married we can still..

- What?
- We..

Yo, man, where's
the fruit basket?

Right there, King.

Oh, yeah. I fucked her.

[all laughing]

(male #4)
'Oh, man, you know you
ain't seen no part of that
ass.'

Le-le-le.. Le-le-let me check
it
out. Let me check it out.

[sniffs]

No ass!

[all laughing]

[knocking on door]

Come in.

Yo. You guys were dope, man.

Yo, ya'll blew up.
You.. Did you see that crowd?

- We didn't see shit.
- Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, sorry.

Well, I-I guess you heard
them,
at least.

Yo, we got a big show
next week, man.

What's up? You all ready?

Yo, man, that kid Coldblood
jerked us again, man.

Yo, I'm telling we should've
got
the dough up front.

Now we're short.

Well, somebody better pay us
some money up in here

or there's gonna be some
ass whoopin'.

Yeah, and I got your
back,
MC Cataract.

Wait-wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Look,
look.

We ain't even
gotta
go there, man.

Just-just put the gun
down.
Calm down.

Yeah. Y'all need
to kill that noise, man.

You know, we gonna tighten you
up with a little somethin'.

'Little somethin', man.'

- Mm-hm.
- 'Heh heh.'

Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
This is the wrong President!

[gun cocking]

- Give it back.
- Come on, man.

Here, you guys.
Sorry for the inconvenience.

Heh. Ben Franklin.
Ha-ha.

- I'm with it.
- Yeah.

It's not wise to mess with
three brothers with big
sticks.

[all laughing]

Now, let's go find
some of those honeys.

Yeah, man, oh, yeah,
we're gonna get..

- This way, baby. This way.
- Oh, yeah.

Over there.
119th and Avalon.

- Oh, let's go.
- That's where they are.

- Where the girls?
- Hey, take this. Take this.

- Oh, I got it. I got it.
- Oh, yeah.

- 'Buckle up..'
- Yo, come on. Let's go.

No, no, no,
I ain't going
nowhere

till these brothers
are
off the streets,
man.

Word up.

Oh-ho,
let's go get those honeys.

Woo-hoo-hoo. Yeah.

[indistinct singing on radio]

Yo, Play, man,
I've been thinking.

We've been at this music thing
for a while now, man

we still ain't got
two nickels to rub together.

Veda's parents have been
stressin' me, man

stressin' me about
getting a real--

Oh, don't say that, man.

Don't say the J word.
Don't say the J word,
man.

I'mma say it.
Job, motherfucker, job.

And maybe they're right,
I mean, it's not like

I can just think
about myself anymore.

I'mma have a wife soon.

- She got a job too, don't
she?
- Nigger.

Come on, man, we gotta put
this back in perspective,
man.

I mean, you know, come on,
think about it.

Look out there.
What do you see?

The wino sleepin'
in his own vomit?

No, no, no. Not that, man.
I mean, look out there, man.

We in the land of LA,
man, Hollywood, man

where dreams come true.

'They just don't come true
like that, man.'

'There's hard work
and perseverance, man.'

Am I just going crazy?
Didn't we have a dream?

- 'Remember?'
- Yeah, I remember.

But look,
I'm gettin' older now.

Would you believe I've even
thought about cuttin' my
hair?

Oh, this is more serious
than I thought.

It gets worse,
the other day I went out

shopping to buy some gear.

I almost bought a...a tie!

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
you're making me nauseous now.

I mean, yo, man, I know
we've been through a lot.

'I don't always come through,
but this one'

I feel real good about, man.

Just give me a little time
on this one, man.

Yo, you know what?
I'll make a deal with you.

'Straight up and down.'

'If I don't come through
with "Sex As A Weapon"'

I'll go get a haircut with
you
and I'll get matching ties.

- Deal?
- You serious?

[sighs]

[birds chirping]

- Isn't this food wonderful?
- It sure is, Aunt Lucy.

It's fit for a king.
Come here, King!

[imitates dog barking]
Come here, boy.

[laughing]

Oh, I thought
King was dead.

Ugh.
My pancakes is black.

- Ugh, so is my eggs.
- Yeah.

It's Cajun style.

If this is Cajun,
I'm Caucasian.

The boys are right,
this food is awful.

Cajun is an acquired taste.

That's why didn't
nobody order it.

- So what about breakfast?
- Yeah, I'm hungry.

- 'Oh, yeah.'
- Look.

There. Breakfast.
It's the best I can do.

Look, if I don't get out
here
and get to my meeting

I'm not gonna get paid.

Yeah. I gotta get out of here
too. I got me a date.

You do?
And who's the lucky lady?

The chef down at
Rollo's Chicken 'n' Grits
House.

I'm hungrier than a horse. I'm
getting the hell out of here.

So, Kid, you're gonna
let us bust out

our little rap routine
at your bachelor party?

Yeah, Kid. You know
that's why we're
here.

See, we look at it,
is the party gonna
be

filled with big-booty
girls,
honeys, tenders, you
know?

(Kid)
'Hello? Hello? Look.'

Fellas, there are not gonna be
any honeys at the party.

'Just the fellas.
Just the fellas.'

So, get it out of your head,
just calm down, relax

and get ready
for the wedding. Okay?

See, I told you Kid and Play
are played out, man.

Just like this food.
We up out of here,
man.

Now, now, wait a minute.
Sit down. Wait.

Boys, boys, come back
here
and eat this food.

- Don't you wanna grow tall?
- Get them, Aunt Lucy.

Hit them in the throat
with the stick.

Bust their head! I hate 'em.
You know, Aunt Lucy, man.

She still thinks Sammy Davis
is sleeping in the guest
room.

'You know, she's a couple
of salads away from a
picnic.'

Look, I'm proud of you, boy.

I'm proud of what you did for
your youngsters over there.

'You just up there
and you told them kids, man'

there wasn't gonna be any
women at that bachelor party.

I'm proud of you,
but I know there's gonna be

a few women
at that bachelor party.

Look, Veda is
the only woman for me.

I'm trying to go
into this marriage right.

No women.

Boy, nobody is talkin'
about no women for you!

I'm talkin' about some women
for me. What's wrong with you?

- Look, I'm sorry. Look,
uncle--
- 'I'm sorry for you.'

- Uncle Vester, I gotta go.
- Go on.

Boy, you had to go on
and get a white woman

now you're gonna wreck this man.

The boy ain't worth
two day flask mash.

You know, Uncle Kid
is dissin' us, man.

Who you're telling? He won't
even listen to our demo.

Yeah, he won't even let us go
to the bachelor party.

Eh, yo, yo, Jerome.
Peep this out, dude.

Hey, we definitely gotta
get with them.

From here on in,
we're doing our own thing.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, baby,
you dropped something.

- What?
- Your conversation.

So let's pick it up
right here.

Pfft, give me a break.

Hey, why y'all
dressed
like twins?

We go to a private school,
fetus face.

Oh, we go
to Detroit Public School.

Now how did I know that?

Listen, we're stayin' at that
house over across the street.

1637, Blast Ave.

Friday night we got
the crib to ourselves. Heh.

And we were just thinkin' about
havin' a little party, you know?

- Yeah.
- A serious throw down.

Detroit style.

Hey, bring your messed butt
over here

before I have
to kill somebody.

Every summer
I have to kill somebody.

I'm tired of killing folks
every summertime.

[engine revving]

Excuse me.

I got a certified letter
here
for Mr. Marques James.

Oh, that's me.

- Just sign right there.
- Oh, yeah, lost luggage
check.

We're gonna party now!
Whoo!

'We're havin'
a party Friday night.'

Why don't you come. And, oh,
yeah, wear that uniform.

Yeah, 'cause I like girls
with jobs and benefits, hmm.

Now, why would I wanna come
to a party

given by some little boys?

So I can show you
how deep love can get.

And, oh, yeah,
it can get deep.

[chuckling]
Aren't you all cute?

[laughing]

(kid #3)
'Where you going, cutie?
Come back over here.'

- You want some candy?
- Let's go, yeah?

Hey.

Open it up, man.

(Vester)
'Close that goddamn door!'

'Air conditioning
the whole neighborhood!'

Open it up.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.

Three thousand dollars.

[door bell rings]

- It's probably the mailman.
- We'll get it.

[upbeat music]

- What's up, man?
- What's up?

Uh, where's Kid and Play?

- They ain't here.
- They ain't here?

Where the hell they at?

Look, man, we had
a meeting here.

I ain't got time to wait.
I gotta pick up money over
here.

I gotta pick money
up here, man

and I came to pick
money right here.

Look here, you tell them
when they get here

Johnny Booze stopped by
to pick up the money

for the Angina Williams, okay?

'That's the stripper
for the bachelor party.'

Oh, yeah.

They told me that
you'll be stopping by

and to pay you

if you can pop this check.

Po.. Let me see that.
Let me see that.

- Money first.
- Wait a minute, I got money.

Don't play me like I ain't
got
money. I handle mine.

Check it out. Check it out.
Wait, wait, man. I got more.

I got more right here.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Oh. Wait a minute. Oh.

Okay, alright.
Alright, ooh,
shit.

Alright. Here we go.
Right here.

Sa-same time, bro.
I don't know you, man.

Same time. I don't know you.
Okay. Same time.

Give me the check.

Now you know
the party is gonna be here

instead of the hotel, right?

Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool. Okay.

You tell Play,
you tell Play

Angina gonna be here
Friday night, alright?

And look, you tell them
I need the rest

of my money, man,
I owe people.

Couple of my girls got killed
in a car wreck, alright.

- 'We know.'
- I need the money.

Shut up.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct singing]

Yo, that's the dancer
that Janelle hired

for Veda's party.
Yo, pull over, man.

I wanna peep this guy.

I can't let
any old muscle bound

booty-shakin' chump dance
at my baby's party, come on.

Come on, Kid, be for real,
man.
We got a lot to do, man.

We got three days to
the wedding. Three days,
man.

We got no time
to be worried
about

heh, the competition.

You know, Kid, man, dog,
I don't mean no harm, my man.

Your shit's over, man.
Do you know who Night Heat is?

That's Henry Charles. Think.

I went to high school
with him, man.

The boy is large.
Took showers with him, man.

His shit is huge.
He must be from Africa.

[speaking in foreign language]

- His shit is just huge, man.
- Wait a minute, wait a
minute.

You were in the shower
checking out his jimmy?

- No.
- Look, Play.

I think your cousin needs
some serious counseling, okay.

There's no question about that.

But seriously, man, sisters do

be sweating that brother, man.

Sweating him something
awful, man.

I'm telling you, man,
he drives the honeys crazy,
man.

Look at that line.
Look at all those girls.

And guys in the line too.
You know how big it is.

Yo, man, the wedding
might be off

once Veda peeps a peek at
the pole that brother's
packin'.

Shit, try and say that
three times.

Janelle, you're my
maid
of honor, right?

Mmm-hm.

Then why don't you have
your little butt over
here

helping me figure out
who I'm gonna sit next to
who?

Whoa, Veda.

This says that 50 percent

of all marriages
end in divorce.

Divorce.

'And after only three years
of marriage'

'couples have sex
once a week.'

Once a week.

And when they do,
they don't even like it.

- Did you know, Janelle..
- 'What?'

That ever since Kid and I
announced our engagement

well, you've changed.

- 'I've changed?'
- You've changed.

- I've changed, Veda?
- 'You've changed.'

- I've changed?
- 'Yes.'

You have really been dogging
Kid out lately.

- 'Cause he is a dog.
- He is not a dog.

He is a man. The man
that I'm going to marry.

- Thank you.
- Well, I know Play.

And Play is one hundred percent
all dog.

Atomic dog. Mighty dog.

Underdog. Deputy Dog.

Snoop Dogg. And dog dog.

And everybody knows that

Kid and Play are like this.

Dogs of a feather.

Veda, girl

you look like
you just saw a ghost.

I did. It's Sydney.

- Hi, Veda.
- Hi, Sydney.

I was in the neighborhood
and I decided to stop in

and browse and, um

tsk, really congratulate you

on your wedding.

Thanks.
Thanks a
lot.

Um, this is my cousin
and business partner,
Janelle.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- 'Same here.'

You guys have
a lot nice things in here.

(Janelle)
'Thank you.'

I guess I've to buy
something then, huh?

You know what? Those earrings
we got in last week.

Perfect.

They have Sydney
written
all over them.

Well, let's see
these Sydney earrings.

Good.

- That's a bad suit.
- Thank you.

Oh, those are cute.
I like those.

Could you, uh, put those
in a box for me, please?

Sure will.

Veda, you know, I'm really glad

Kid found someone to love.

He had a really hard time
after we broke up.

It seems like his management
company is doing really well

and you have
a beautiful shop here.

I'm glad you guys are happy.
You know, I really am.

Could you give him
my best, please?

I sure will. And, um..

I wish you all the best in DC

and-and good luck and success

and all that old stuff.

And wear these in good health.

I will. I'll do that.

- Take that with you.
- Okay.

You take care of yourself.
Alright?

- Thanks, Sydney.
- Bye-bye.

Wow, I was wrong about her.

- She really was nice.
- Yeah.

And her booty wasn't that big.

[humming]

It's cute.

Who are you?

It's me, Aunt Lucy, Veda.

You just let me in
five minutes ago.

Today?

Yeah, I'm taking
some of Kid's
stuff

over to our condo.

It's Veda. Kid's fiancee.

Oh. Well, nobody
tells me anything.

Oh.

Damn, this is heavy.

Stinky. Stinky. Stinky.

- Come on, help us out.
- I was playing.

- Let me..
- Here, take this.

I can't believe your
cousin
is that lazy, Play.

I ain't lazy, man. Open
the door. This stuff is
heavy.

(Play)
'I find it hard to believe
he's even my cousin.'

(Stinky)
You won't. Come on.

Oh, he's your cousin, alright.

[screams]

Okay. I can deal with this.
This I can deal with.

You know
since the word got
out

that I'm gettin'
married
you wouldn't believe

the kind of play
I'm gettin' from the
ladies.

'I mean, women that wouldn't
even talk to me before.'

'I don't understand it.'

(Play)
'Come on, Kid, at least
act like you know, man.'

'Women, that's just
how they're live it.'

(Stinky)
'Word, man. Play is right,
man.
Women are just like cats,

They're finicky. When they
want you is when they want you.

When you got a girl,
that's when they want you.

Oh, Stinky, what the hell
are you talkin' about?

Yeah, Stinky, since when did
you
become an expert on-on women?

All you date are fat girls.

See, see, that's where
you're wrong, man.

I don't date
just fat girls, man.

I date skinny girls
on the verge of being fat

fat girls on the verge
of being obese.

Matter of fact, I'm datin'
your sister. What's she, 380?

I'm taking her to the
slaughterhouse to eat tonight.

- That was unnecessary.
- Okay, it was, I admit.

But I gotta crush
our guy's ego, man

'cause y'all think
you're all that, especially
you.

You think you some kind of

uh, Dark Gable
or something, man.

- Well, suppose I am.
- Well, suppose you ain't.

'Cause you know I'll pick up
your roster, man

and I'm dating one
of your girls tonight.

You recognize 555-1237?

Give me my beeper, fool.

Yo, Kid, what was up with you
and Maxine last night, man?

She was like all up
in your grill, man.

That girl is the bomb.

(Kid)
Yo, you said that right.

'That girl has the fattest
rump shake. I can't front.'

(Play)
'Yo, man, if I was you,
I would've waxed that ass,
man.'

'I mean, you got
a couple of days.'

'And I was gonna save it
as a surprise.'

'But through reliable
sources,
through the grapevine'

Sydney's back in town.

And I know you wanna
wax that butt

one more time.

One more time.
Just tear it up,
man.

Just tear it up, man.

What are you,
my retarded echo? Let's go.

(Stinky)
'Hey, yo, Kid, man, if you
need
my crib for anything'

to get away from Veda
or to get hold of Sydney

'hey, man, just call me,
it's yours.'

Look, guys, for the last time

Sydney is yesterday's news.

I'm committed to
Veda.
Okay? Let's go.

Man, you going out, next thing
you know you'll be watchin'

Oprah butt naked
eating bon-bons with Veda.

[sighs]

[car honking]

Ooh, I know you gonna look good

'cause you know
you got it going on.

Just too bad
you're gettin' married.

- I told you.
- Hmm.

Now let's get this started.

[chuckles]

I see you still shop
at the little boy's
shop.

Don't you?

That's right. You laugh now

that I got a body
of a little boy, right?

But you know what,
I got the power of ten men.

- You know what I'm saying.
- 'Tell 'em, cuz.'

Thank you. With them two big
donuts you got right there

you can feed a starving child
in Somalia for a whole month.

Can I have one?

Please. Your mouth
don't open that
big.

Besides, little man

I'd use you like dental floss

and then I would throw you away.

Ooh. That's alright.

But you know nine out of
ten
dentists recommend me.

So what's up?
Let me clean them
teeth.

Please. Let me
measure a real man.

Hey, check it out,
Kid's bachelor
party

it's Friday night
at the Densmore
Hotel.

How about you come on down..

...and bring
your two friends with
you?

I'll put them on the guest list.

Hey, don't go there.

Hey, Ester, just how much are
we paying for these tuxes?

Hey-hey-hey-hey, we ain't
gotta go there either, man.

I got this covered.

[upbeat music]

Ho-ho-ho, motherfucker

the Showboat is back in town.

[barking]

Shit.

Hey-hey, you can't
bring
them animals in here.

Do you have a leash for her?

I got a funny feelin'.

A real funny feelin' that y'all

took my money, the Boat money

and used it
for his bachelor
party.

- Check this out.
- 'Let me tell you
somethin'.'

'If I don't get
that contract right now'

ol' Cujo here is gonna
give you three new assholes.

(Play)
Uh, Showboat, come on, man.

We're supposed to be boys, man.

I mean, I'mma-I'mma do good
by the contract.

You know that. Hey, man.

Two days. Trust me.

I told you,
the Boat don't trust shit!

Eat 'em, Cujo. Get 'em!

(Ester)
Hey, hey! Not in here! Hey!

[dog barking]

[all yelling]

(Showboat)
Get there! Get 'em!

Fuck! Bite that ass!
Bite that ass!

Cujo! Cujo!

[barking]

- Through the door. Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no!

- This way! This way! This
way!
- Come on.

[dog barking]

[growling]

(Showboat)
'You can run,
but you can't hide.'

We gonna get you later.
You'll see, we'll get you.

Hello? No, Marques
is at the playground.

Alright. Call back later, Tracy.

[phone ringing]

Kid's Funeral Home,
you stab 'em, we grab 'em.

Uh, no, Marques
isn't here, Gina.

A party?

No, they're not havin' no party.

Can I ask how old you are?

[doorbell rings]

You sound a little old
to be callin' him.

Alright, just call back
later, okay? Alright.

- Hi!
- 'Is everybody ready?'

I've got the engine running,
my mother has food on the table

and we don't wanna keep
my mother waiting.

What a pretty girl.

I should introduce you
to my boy Kid.

Kid, you ought to marry
this girl.

She's much better for you
than that fiancee

you brought here yesterday.

I mean, that girl
was way too tall for you.

You're right, Aunt Lucy.
I am a better choice.

Oh, yeah, much
better
than the girl

that wanted Night
Heat
at her party.

- Tsk. Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah. You know the one.

The one that thought
I was still hung up

on the big booty girl, Sydney.

[chuckles]
I'll bet you

she didn't even make you
French toast.

Come on, Aunt Lucy,
let's wait in the car.

Would you hurry up, please?
Where's Uncle Vester?

(Uncle Vester)
'Hey, hey, look.'

Hey, woman!

Ooh, Lord, have mercy.

I wanna put you on a plate
with some biscuits and
gravy

and suck it right up.

Aunt Lucy, wait.
That's not my car!

- Mmm.
- You guys come in here.

Where you guys been?
What took so long?

We just had to go for
our little daily walk, you
know.

Yeah, you gotta get
that exercise.

Exercise yourself
on
in that kitchen.

Get those dishes y'all
left
for Play this morning.

You got no dog on this one.

Heh.
So-so how do you feel,
boy?

[sighs]
Uncle Vester,
I'm-I'm still a little
nervous.

This is such a big night,
I just don't wanna

do anything
that-that I'll regret.

Oh, son, we had a talk
about that the other
night.

What did I tell you?
Let that go. Be
yourself.

We're going over there.
We're gonna be
ourselves.

We'll show you're educated.

Say, Diddy hellos,
how to have good time
tonight.

You gotta believe
that.
Let it go.

- Okay. Alright.
- Alright.

You're not packing, are you?

Uh, you know
I'm-I'm-I'm
blessed.

I'm hung low. Stay out
of
my personal business.

- Who you with?
- Uncle Vester.

Who you with?

[telephone ringing]

I'll get it.

- Hello?
- Hey, yo, what up?

Can I speak to either
Kid or Play?

'No, they ain't here.'

This is Butcher
from the catering company.

Is the party still on?

Yeah, the party
is still going on.

Will you tell
Kid or Play that, um

I ain't servin' nobody until
I get the rest of my money.

'I guarantee you your money.'

'But you gotta bring
the food here.'

That's 1637 Blast Ave.

Oh, you want me
to bring the food there?

That's right.
If you wanna get paid.

Okay. Bye.

Yeah, right.

Veda told me you were
down-home folk.

So I thought we'd have
a little soul food dinner.

Something I'd know
you people would like.

I don't care what you serve,
as long as they ain't Cajun.

The food looks great, mom.

Oh, thank you, doll.
Have no plate?

Aunt Lucy, don't worry
about him not having no
plate.

I got plenty of food for him.

[chuckles]

Uh, Christopher.

I suppose you haven't
made it big

in the music business yet.

Oh-oh, uh, well, dad

uh, my partner and I--

How do you expect
to support a wife?

And a baby,
you know she pregnant.

Pregnant? Lord have mercy.
See I knew it.

I knew I've been dreaming
about fish.

Fish? Fish, I sure hope
it's catfish.

No, mother.
I am not pregnant. Huh.

Young man,
I was asking you a question.

Okay, uh, well, dad,
uh, my partner and I

'we're involved in
some very promising ventures.'

'Uh, we have an
up and coming group name'

R.A.S. Posse, that we signed
to Arrest Records.

Now when they release them--

Release, R.A.S. Posse.

Wh-wh-what,
what are they, in jail?

Ugh, when they release
their album, mother.

And how do you expect to survive

until this R.A.S. Puss..

Posse makes it big?

In my day,
we used to have a sayin'

"No romance..

...without finance."

Now hold on there, freckles.

You gotta have
a little bit more faith

in these young kids today.

Times are different
when you and I

was out here doing our thing.

Now hand me about four
or five of those biscuits.

I swear, I'm hungry.

Oh, Vester.

What is your line of business?

Unemployment line.

I'm a painter.
I'm an artist.

Oh, really? From what school?

Jacob Lord's? Beardon?

Uh, kitchen walls and sinks,
and shit like that.

Oh, my God,
crayons and finger paints.

Oh, wait a minute, mom.
You, you-you're being unfair.

You and daddy
didn't have
everything

when you first started out.

Yeah, but we worked hard to..

...to get where we are today.

I bet you had
to whore like rabbits

just to make ends meet.

I beg your pardon!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I knew, I knew you.
Damn it to hell.

I knew your face
was familiar to me.

Man, back in the day

your wife just sucked
the meanest!

Well, I know you know.
You're a lucky man.

You scum sucking,
son of a bitch!

That's my whore you ta..

Uh, um, my wife
you talking about.

Kid, are you just gonna let
them
talk to my parents like this?

Oh, I forgot you got
other things on your mind.

Like, getting with
Sydney
one more time.

Wh-who said I was getting
with Sydney?

I heard you, Play and
Stinky
talking this morning.

Oh, I don't believe you.

(Veda)
'I don't believe that
Play is at that window.'

Go see what he wants, please.

(Lucy)
You don't talk
to my nephew like that.

You don't talk to
my daughter like this.

(Lucy)
'What do you mean, don't
talk..'

Come on, man,
what're you doing
here?

Yo, man, Showboat is bugging,
he tried to run me

down with the Benzo, man.

He wants the Sex As A Weapon
contract, like, yesterday.

God, look, didn't I
tell you
to get Boat his money?

Didn't I? Y-you
always
getting me into
trouble.

Oh, now it's on me.
You wanted a bachelor party.

I'm hooking you up. Ain't I?
What am I supposed to do?

Pay w-with my good looks?
What's wrong with you?

Look, I didn't want
the bachelor party.

You wanted the bachelor party.

Listen, you..

- Listen, you, get back.
- 'Get back?'

Step back, Satan.
I'll whammy-bammy your ass.

Some salt, sacrilegious woman.

Now I remember.
I even remember your name!

- They used to call you
Jawbone.
- What?

Look, just meet me
at the crib later,
okay?

I-I get enough
to deal with
here.

Kid, listen, man,
I got problems, man..

(male #5)
'Look here, I wanna
let the door hit you'

'where the good lord split..'

Ain't gonna start
barking like a dog.

[imitating dog bark]

(male #5)
'Baby, put it on that old
hat.'

Look, everybody, could we just
please calm down, okay?

This has gotten
out of hand, okay?

Let's just calm down, alright?

(male #5)
'I will fuck you up, sucka!'

Sit down, Witch Hazel.

- Who you talking to?
- 'Talking to you!'

Look, don't you talk about,
don't you talk about..

You.. Your mama witch,
you black dusty rusty ass.

Whoa! My mama dead!
Now I gotta cut you!

That's the rule!
Cut you! Cut you! Cut you!

Come on, come on, come on!

I'm ready for you.

I want all of you

out of my house, now!

- Cut me! Cut me! Cut me!
- What? What? What? No!

I expected some shit
like this from you
riff-raffs.

[indistinct shouting]

[gunshot]

[all screaming]

Goddamn, I bet I get
some respect

from you motherfuckers, now!

And I'd love to pop a cap

in your little black ass.

And that crazy old bitch. Aah!

And I'd bust a cap in your ass

'if it weren't
for my daughter.'

Now I want all of you

out of my goddamn house!

Out! Out! Damn spot!

'All of you motherfuckers.'

Had a nice time.
Th-that ain't look so good.

Punk, motherfucker.

You better get the fuck on

out of my house, nigger!

Out! Out! Goddammit!

All of you, out!

[crickets chirping]

Was that a crazy dinner
or what?

[chuckles]
That was
crazy.

Do you think they're
ever
gonna get along?

[sighs]
Well, I guess

if the Crips and Bloods
can have a truce.

I guess they can too.

Anyway, goodnight, Mrs. Kid.

Goodnight, Mr. Veda.

Mr. Ve..

What'd I tell you about
watching all that Oprah?

- Huh?
- I love you.

Egh!

[laughing]

[engine starting]

[upbeat music]

[tires screech]

[growling]

[barking]

Aw! Oh!

[screams]

Oh!

[panting]

Oh.

[Kid grunts]

Hey, fellas, fellas.

Welcome back.

You know, I just had a talk

with the Sex As A Weapon

and they claim they never
signed
any management contract

with Kid 'n Play management.

So, I'm wondering
why do I need
y'all?

Uh, I can explain, Showboat.

- But I don't wanna hear it.
- Yo, but--

I don't wanna hear it!

Now you two clowns
better get my contract

signed by tomorrow.

And, uh, one little thing
before you leave.

I'd like you to check
out one of these

'T.J. hors d'oeuvres.'

- 'What?'
- 'Oh.'

'That's a toe-jam cracker.'

Yeah, I like to call it
the chronic, ha.

(Play)
Come on, Boat. Come on, man.

We've known each other
too long for this, man.

No! No!

[Play screaming]
'No!'

♪ Here we go here we go ♪

♪ As the tune starts to bloom ♪

♪ With a phat phat phat
cho-re-eus ♪♪

Oh!

- You guys are cleaning up?
- Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Well, Kid

we just wanted
to show our appreciation.

You've been so good to us.

Hey, look, uh, look

here's some money for a pizza.

You still have
the video movies, right?

'Oh, yeah.'

Uh, I got some running
around to do

then I'm gonna go
straight to the hotel

for the bachelor party.

So, I'll see you guys
in the morning.

Oh, uh, there's a slight chance

my body might be
dumped in the river.

So, if I don't see you
in the morning, it's been
real.

What do you mean, Kid?

[car horn honking]

Uh..

Look, don't worry about it.
It's my problem.

Look, just have a good time

and take care
of Aunt Lucy, okay?

- Alright.
- See you later.

[door closes]

Hey, ya'll, I think Uncle
Kid
is in big trouble.

Yes, that punk Showboat.

♪ 1-2-3 if this is O.G ♪

♪ The freaks would ya move
ya boo-ty-yys ♪

Ah, shit.

Yo, yo, what's up, punk?
Where the rest of my money?

Man, I'm telling you, man,
we ain't got your money, man.

- Showboat got your cash, man.
- Showboat?

Nigger, we used to have
him
in an apron with his ass

hanging out,
running around the
cell

cleanin' up like a bitch.

- Really?
- Really, nigger.

I know he ain't trying to
come
between me and my money.

- Where is it at?
- I don't know, man..

- Put me down, man.
- Yo, punk.

Since you don't know,
we taking these Adidas

as partial payment till
you find out, you
understand?

Oh, no. That my cuz.
Ain't no one--

Hey! Hey, hey! Hey!

Is there a
problem
in here, fellas?

Uh, no, ma'am, we just helpin'
my man here with his shoes.

Well, keep it down in here.

Hey, Simple,
you dropped somethin', man.

[knocking on door]

Hey, you little
twig-head boys in the
hood.

Where's Kid?

- Plan B.
- Plan B.

- Where they goin'?
- Uh, they got to take a pee.

Uh, so you came
to listen to our demo?

Hurry up, man, we gotta beat
the all-time record.

So, where is he?

Uh, Kid..

Dreads, cap..
Oh, yeah, Kid.

Well, he's havin'
a bachelor party

over at the Motel 6.

Which Motel 6?
There's 29 of 'em.

Man, I don't know.
I'm from Detroit.

He probably went
to the one on Washington.

You know, they give
complimentary 40 ounces.

You better not be lying, boy.

Come on.

[upbeat music]

Those some nice hooves
you got there, girl.

I got one bean for you. One.

- How about a biscuit, baby?
- Oh, please.

Hey, hey, hey! Now, that's
what
I'm talking about.

I'm guilty, guilty as charged.

- I was with him, take me.
- Cuff me, baby.

- Cuff me!
- Oh, yeah. Once again, it's
on.

- Hey, what up?
- Shit..

♪ Move your body ♪

- Stinky!
- I'm gonna get this, boy.

What's up, baby.
How are you doing?

How are you doing?

Just sitting here like
you've been just queening.

I don't believe
you gonna do this,
man.

I don't believe
you getting married,
man.

- You going out.
- "You going out."

Why I gotta be,
why I gotta be going out?

Why can't I just have
a do-right woman

that I'm trying to do right by?

Look, man, you ain't
doing right until
tomorrow.

For tonight, your hoes is here.

I'm gonna tear this party up!

And, right now, I'm hungry!

(Sam)
'Right now, I'm hungry!'

Real hungry.

Food, food, food!

Nigger, now that's an ex-con.

Nigger made me proud.

(Showboat)
'Yeah, those 40 ounces'

'really do upgrade the Motel 6.'

The only reason
I mess around with them.

[clanking]

(Showboat)
'Hey, what?'

[Showboat screaming]

[wheels screeching]

Fucking dead!

My son of a.. Wh-what?

Boy, you wait
till I get my
hands

on that cold-blooded man!

[indistinct chatter]

Right here, honey, and make
sure
Cathy doesn't have any more

she's drunk enough already.

Oh, Cathy's drunk again?

Every time she goes somewhere,
she gets drunk.

Girl, this is
a great party,
Janelle.

Only the best for you,
goody girl. Only the best.

And the night
is still young, honey.

Whoo-oo!

(Kid)
'Look, I know I said no women'

'but is it my imagination or..'

Or do we have an extra amount

of fat women here tonight?

Look, don't sweat it, man.

It's my cousin, Stinky, man.

This is his thing, his Posse.

Look, I-I didn't want
any women, just the
fellas.

Dammit, they're big.

[upbeat music]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hell yeah ♪

♪ You know what I'm sayin' ♪♪

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chattering]

[Aunt Lucy laughing]

[knocking on door]

Come in.

[upbeat music]

You okay, Aunt Lucy?

What is all of that
noise downstairs?

Oh! Uh.

Few of the fellas came by
for Kid's bachelor party.

And what about this movie
you brought me?

Oh, that was "Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles", Aunt Lucy.

That's no turtle. That's ass.

[chuckles]

Be in touch, Aunt Lucy.

- Call us if you need us.
- See you.

[instrumental music]

Marques, where's the food?

I snuck out of the house
to come here and I'm
hungry.

We got a caterer coming, baby.

I'll bet those cons
took the food to the hotel.

I know. Let's go find out
what's happening. Come on.

♪ Hey Mr. DJ ♪

♪ Can you get this party.. ♪

Oh, kinda, kinda mild
for a Kid 'n Play

jimmy jam-jam.

Some swollen motherfuckers
in here tonight.

Food! Well, I sure am hungry.

Man, what the fuck
is your problem?

The problem is that this
fucking
food ain't paid for.

Ain't nobody eating till
I get the rest of my
money.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

But you let these
two policewomen here eat.

Oh-ho, ho, ho.
They got guns
too.

And we got warrants, pimp daddy.

Yeah, you got a good point.

(Veda)
'Looks like there's some
action'

'going on out here.'

[knocking on door]

Hello.

I'm looking for a Veda Pratt.

Um, that's me.

Miss. Pratt, I have a
warrant
for your arrest.

- What?
- What?

Failure to pay a
series
of parking tickets.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
That's some mistake.

I pay my tickets.

I'm gonna have to take you down.

What?

[chuckles]

This is yours?

Heh, wait a minute.

Tomorrow is my wedding day.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

Miss, please, face the wall.

Spread your legs.

[chuckles]

Not that far.

[chuckles]

Janelle, I'm going to jail.

The other hand, please.

I've never been to jail.

What am I gonna wear?

Don't worry about it, Veda.

You already got on stripes.

Folks, please

stand back into the house.

Pursuant of penal code
section 3--

Find Kid. Find Kid!

I command you to..

...wave your hands in the air!

[all cheering]

♪ Shake your booty baby ♪

♪ Shake your booty ♪

♪ Shake your booty baby ♪

♪ Take it off ♪
♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪
♪ Take it off.. ♪

[chuckles]

You got me good this time.

You got me this time.

[both laughing]

♪ Take it off ♪
♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪
♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Take it off ♪
♪ Take it off ♪

♪ Shake your.. ♪

Here it is, guys. Bad-ass. Whoo!

'It's the bomb, here we go.'

[grunting]

'That ain't bad-ass.'

Is this some kind of joke?

Oh, w-well, w-w-wait.

Just give it some time, it-it
it's probably some leader
tape.

'Just let it roll.
Give it, give it a chance.'

(Raphael on TV)
God, I love being a turtle!

Just like them punk ass
niggers watching the
shit.

[indistinct chatter]

This party seem bunk to me.

Man, you all supposed
to deliver at 1637 Blast Ave.

Look here, I'll deliver
this food anywhere

you hear me, anywhere
as long as you got the money.

We got money. Pay the man.

1637 Blast Ave.

You get paid when we get fed.

- 'That's ninja turtle
ass.'
- 'Hey, man.'

Somebody must've
switched the tape!

Damn!

Night heat, God of lust!

We praise you!

[all cheering]

[knocking on door]

Hey, Showboat, look, I'm
sorry,
baby. No men are allowed.

Eh, we got business here.
We lookin' for Kid 'n Play.

- And that's a man.
- No, no, baby.

You are man.

That is a God. Whoo!

[all cheering]

Go over to the kitchen.
You check out the
bathroom.

Boy, they're making
Gods smaller these days..

...and bowlegged.

- Now, this your stripper?
- Yes, baby.

I think you better try
to get a refund.

I'll show you what stripping is.

- Hey, wait a minute.
- Step aside.

[cheering continues]

(Showboat)
'That's right, baby.
That's alright.'

Take your liberties with me.
I'm free.

Go, boy. There you go.
Girl, be careful. That's
mine.

[telephone ringing]

- Hello.
- So-so.

How my Aunt Lucy doing?

Eating my prunes

waiting for Kid to show up

for his bachelor party

and watchin' that ass.

Yo, yo, yo, Trick, let me
hold the cellular joint, man.

This ain't no damn game.
Give me the phone!

Yo, yo, Play,
the phone ain't turned
on.

I'm frontin', man.
I told you, the hoes like
that.

Man, pay your damn bill.

Hey, man, I sent 'em
a couple of checks.

Look, man, the phone company
don't take welfare checks.

It seems like all I know
is broke brothers.

Look, I got to come
over there. Shit,
man.

Johnny, man,
what's up with
Angina?

(Marques)
'Now, the moment'

'you've all been
waiting for..'

[in unison]
Angina Williams!

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

[cheering continues]

Oh, oh, oh..

[upbeat music]

The Boat is in the house!

Showboat's getting
ready
to get out the house.

Now, get to stepping.

Ladies and gentlemen, the
Boat
is leaving the building.

Please, don't
throw
anymore panties.

Thank you. You're wonderful.

Get out of here,
you steroid freaks.

Out!

Cousin, don't let me down, man.

Yo, yo, check it out, Kid.

All for you, boy.

[upbeat music]

Oh, man!

[indistinct]

Stinky, Stinky,
take off your hat.

- What?
- Take off your hat.

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[all cheering]

Oh, come on.
Take all my goddamn money.

[all cheering]

- Hey, get off me.
- Come on. Get off.

- Get off me. Hey, hey, hey.
- Come on.

[clears
throat]
Excuse me.

I'm president
of the All-That
club

and I'm here to tell
you
that you are all
that.

Baby, I'll eat through
that dress to get to that ass.

No, fuck that dress.
I'll eat through them
drawers.

What'd I say wrong?

- What? What now?
- Play would not let you down.

Close your eyes,
buddy.
Come on, trust me.

Close your eyes, this
is it.
It's the bomb!

You lucky boy you..

Open your arms wide..

...for a big surprise.

'Come on, honey.'

[hooting]

Are you the lucky man?

[Play laughs]

[Kid retching]

[upbeat music]

- Sydney?
- Kid?

Hi!

Wow! Uh,
what are you doing
here?

Um, I was celebrating

my grandparents'
wedding anniversary.

Wow, it's great to see you.

Um..

...it's been a long time.

Yeah.

A lot's happened.

- Well, what are you doing--
- You--

[chuckles]
Sorry. You go. Go ahead.

Well, I-I hear you're
taking
a job in Washington.

And you're getting married.

Veda is a lucky woman.

I wish you guys
a lot of happiness.

Well..

...I better get back
to my grandparents.

Bye.

Uh, Kid?

I wish it had ended better
between us.

Yeah. Me, too.

She's better for you.
She'll give you what you need.

Yeah, heh,
I guess you're
right.

I will always love you.

Friends?

Friends.

[chuckles]
Ohh!

Didn't I tell you
about Night Heat?

- Yes.
- I knew he was gonna work you.

He gave me,
like, a whoo
thing!

[laughs]

(Veda)
Ooh!

Uh, got you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- 'Uh-huh!'
- 'Uh-huh!'

[chuckles]

Well, it's a good
thing
I found out

about this before it was
too
late, huh?

(Kid)
'No, wait the minute,
you didn't see what you..'

what you thought you saw.
I-I mean..

What you thought you saw,
you didn't really see.

(Veda)
'Okay, save the jokes, Kid.'

Look, you've got it all
wrong.
Okay?

Her grandparents are here
celebrating

their anniversary
in another suite.

I didn't know she was here!

- W-what are you talking
about?
- That's perfect.

'So you give her a kiss'

on her
grandparents'
anniversary.

What, a kiss?

It was a "Good-bye"

"have a nice life" kiss.

'Thank you. Look,
you don't trust me?

Fine! I guess this is
what being

married to you is gonna be
about, huh?

(Veda)
'Yeah, do whatever. You're
gonna do whatever anyway.'

(Play)
'Time out! Time out!'

Time out!

Come on, man. Let's talk.

- Come on! Come here.
- Come on, man!

(Veda)
'He's ain't gonna play me.'

Uh-uh, uh-uh,
he is not all
that.

Girl, you were wrong.

Janelle.

I just saw my man

kissing his ex-girlfriend.

It was just a peck.

Yo, Kid, man,
take a time out, man

and turn this thing
the other way around, man.

You would've drawn
the same conclusions,
man.

For the first
time,
I'm convinced

that this woman's
gonna make you happy, man.

And you're ready to blow it?

Now, you say you love him.

If you really love him, Veda

then you got to trust him, baby.

'Cause I got a lot
invested
in this wedding, man.

I'll be damned if it's
gonna go down the tubes

over some misunderstanding

or I'm walking down the
aisle
with Veda my damn self.

That's all there is to it,
man.
Word up.

Come on, man.
She wouldn't have you.

Shit.

[door opens]

Now, what you need to do

is stop trippin'

and take your big ass
back down them stairs

and go get your man!

Hey, Kiddo.

I'm sorry.

[sighs]

Look, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have
blown up at you.

Mmm.

There you go, man. I've been
looking all over for you
guys.

Telephone, man.

Uncle Vester.

- Oh, jeez.
- Yeah.

Handle it.

Uncle Vester?

Kid, you better hurry up
and get over here!

These boys got a party.

Everybody and their mama's here

including the law.

Okay, alright.
We-we'll be right there.

Come over here,
bothering people ain't nice.

Kinda embarrass somebody.

Officers of the goddamn law!

What you wanna do?
I ain't scared of you.

I ain't Rodney King.
I'll get one of you.

[indistinct chatter over radio]

[upbeat music]

(Evans)
1637 Blast Avenue.

That disturbance
is now in control.

Well, I'm gonna kill
those little guys.

- This is your house?
- Uh, yes.

Party's gotta stop.
You're disturbing the peace.

Well, w-w-w-wait the minute.
Hold on, Officer Evans.

Um, my man here, he's getting
married tomorrow, man.

And I'm just trying
to send him off in style.

Um, could you, uh..

- Are you married?
- Yeah.

Come on, man, think about it.

The night before
you lost your freedom

you realize that night

that's gonna be the last night

you is gonna be hanging
with your homies

chasing after the honeys.

No more nothing, man, just you..

...the TV..

...and her.

Come on, man.

Come on.

You people have a nice evening.

- Okay.
- Come on, man, let's talk.

I have a cousin
that's a marriage counselor.

♪ Get down ♪

♪ Get up off your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get up off your feet ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get on up
move your butt ♪

♪ It's a house party thang ♪

♪ Do your stuff
no other way to go to the flow
♪

♪ Again and again
tell your friends ♪

♪ It's a house party thang ♪
♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪
♪ Come on go ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Shake the ground ♪

I can't believe
those little hard heads

could throw a hyper party
than me and Play.

♪ Get up on your feet
shake the ground ♪

Oh, heh, wait for me, Janelle.

Party over here.

♪ So get down ♪
♪ House party ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪
♪ House party ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ House party ♪
♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ House party ♪
♪ So get down ♪

♪ Ho oooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get up on your feet ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪

♪ Shake the ground ♪
♪ House party wakes you up ♪

♪ So get down ♪

[groans]

It's 1 o'clock.

Do you know
where your testicles are?

Where's my money?

We spent it.

Look, I-I'm getting
married tomorrow.

You wouldn't hurt
the family jewels, would you?

Start cuttin'!

♪ So get down ♪

♪ Get on down ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa..

Wait a minute. Whoa, cool!

Uh, see, now, that's funky.

Now-now, who is that?

Uh, that's our
new group "Immature."

We-we just signed them

we were getting ready
to call you to tell you

to come down and check them out.

(Play)
Hey, hey, hey, hey

and the other act
as promised, my brother.

Wackow!

Sex As A Weapon. We got a deal?

Yeah, deal.

Wait a minute,
I thought you signed

with Coldblood Management.

Ahem!
Well, since we heard
about

what they did to
those blind
rappers..

- We, uh, changed our mind.
- That's right.

We can't be doing business

with peoples hear me now,
like that.

We don't like that.

(all)
Mmm!

Yeah. Mmm!

Uh, okay, girls, go on in,
use those weapons.

Yeah. That's what
I'm talking about.

(Play)
Oh, that's two groups,
Rowboat.

I guess you owe us now, huh?

Hook him up.

Yeah, hook me up.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Whoo! See, man, I told you,
I'd
take care of everything, man.

It's the American way.

Look, congratulations, man.

It's for your honeymoon.

Excuse me, boy,
can I have my baby now?

You can have your baby now.

Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey, Kid, we know, we've been
lots of trouble, so here.

Wow. Thanks a lot.

That might be just enough

to clean up after this..

...bachelor party of yours.

[upbeat music]

Hey, cuz. My 50 percent.

Sure. Let me
get some change, man.

Can anybody bust up a dollar?

Yo, you wrong, man.

I want my 50 percent, man.

I'll burn this place down, man.

[music continues]

[indistinct clamoring]

(male #6)
'Oh, damn!'

(male #7)
'You're crazy, Sam.'

[upbeat music]

♪ The debo's back in effect ♪

♪ In a house party set
catching wreck on a mic check ♪

♪ Before we tear it up
I turn and give ♪

♪ My partner a high five ♪

♪ 'Cause it's time to get live ♪

♪ So when I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Well, it's the Kid
from Kid 'n' Play ♪

♪ Now that's a rap group ♪

♪ I'm not that sup
but I'm living phat troop ♪

♪ You looking that cute
the girl in the cat suit ♪

♪ In my black coupe rhyming
on the fat loops oops ♪

♪ Feelin' good pop the tape
in the tape deck ♪

♪ And I'mma catch wreck
than catch a fat check ♪

♪ Check what the heck
grab the mic for a mic check ♪

♪ Right before
your eyes equalize ♪

♪ With the cruise next
who's next ♪

♪ Who's gonna flex
with the hype rhyme ♪

♪ I think it's my time
I'm flowing like a pipeline
♪

♪ Going for the right sign
gonna have a fine time ♪

♪ Name up in neon
like Deon going prime time ♪

♪ Trying to score a touchdown
trying to make a slam dunk ♪

♪ Breakin' off a fat chunk
'cause the track is mad funk
♪

♪ Niggers try to say
I never gave back ♪

♪ Get ready for the payback ♪

♪ This a house party black ♪

♪ Yo when I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪
you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ P to the L-A-Y
in the place to be ♪

♪ What's the matter brother
didn't ya hear me ♪

♪ See I'm the man
that ya heard about ♪

♪ The fly dark skin brother
that the girls ♪

♪ Spread the word about
and then you wonder ♪

♪ Why I get sex more ♪

♪ You get vexed more
'cause I'm the boy next door ♪

♪ And with a smile and a grin
and then I go up in ♪

♪ And in a hour later
I'm at it again friend ♪

♪ And then I'm ready to go
but you don't hear me though ♪

♪ And I'm about to throw
just like Riddick Bowe ♪

♪ I keep an even flow
watch as I do the show ♪

♪ And I'mma flip it
and kick it like judo ♪

♪ So don't try to say that
I can't when I can pull ♪

♪ Watch me trample
this hip hop sample ♪

♪ The choice is yours black ♪

♪ You can either catch a cap
or get slapped ♪

♪ Or sing the chorus Jack ♪

♪ When I say make some
you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some
you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Knock knock
ya gotta let me in ♪

♪ 'Cause I know
ya got alligator skin ♪

♪ Underneath of your chin
and I only must pick up ♪

♪ Roughneck nigger
check 'em in a sec ♪

♪ Just to see who's bigger ♪

♪ The Left never ever
did expect to flow it ♪

♪ When I say it's time to get
it
up I know he can't show it ♪

♪ And if he make a mistake
he'll never give in ♪

♪ Stupid mutha ♪

♪ What-yeah ♪
♪ But if my hat is to the back ♪

♪ Then you can sort of
say it's crooked ♪

♪ As I look that only nookie ♪

♪ Gives a rough neck rookie ♪

♪ Jump the hump-a-hump ♪

♪ On the back hit the front ♪

♪ Take a dump in the stump ♪

♪ Roll a big fat blunt ♪

♪ And if he's quick to hand
it
to ya don't grab it ♪

♪ He only really want it
if he know he can't have it ♪

♪ Chase a roughneck
bet you'll say ♪

♪ Dagnabbit Mr. Fudd ♪

♪ We will neva catch that
wuffneck-a wabbit ♪

♪ So when I say make some
you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some
you say noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ Make some ♪
♪ Noise ♪

♪ When I say make some ♪

♪ You say noise.. ♪♪

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

Oh, my baby.

(Play)
'Yo, Kid, Veda, hold up!
Kid.'

Hold up, man.
Here you go, man.

A little something. Voila!

Come on, man.
Kid 'n' Play productions.

We gonna be large!

You got us a car?

Chill, man. For business, man.

A tax write-off. Enjoy it.

Congratulations. Yo! Come on!

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ And I don't care
what you say ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ 'Cause he treats me the way ♪

♪ When I want to be treated ♪

♪ When I need to be needed ♪

- 'Alright, Angina.'
- 'Go, girl.'

[indistinct shouting]

Whoo!

(Vester)
'Come on, girl,
let's go have fun with baby.'

'Come on, I liked you
the first time I saw you.'

'I'll make you bow-legged,
and I swear to God.'

♪ My inspiration ♪

♪ And you know
you just don't understand ♪

♪ Our relation ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm down
he's the one ♪

♪ Who makes me feel
real good inside ♪

♪ He keeps me going ♪

♪ He makes me feel ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ I just love that man ♪

♪ I just love him
I love him I love him ♪

♪ I just love ♪

♪ The way you just don't
understand ♪

♪ I just love him
I love him I love him ♪

♪ I just love the man ♪

♪ I just love him
I love him.. ♪♪

[instrumental music]

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪

♪ Yeah we like it raw
in the streets ♪

♪ For the fellas on the
corner
posted up 20 deep ♪

♪ With your "F" on your hip
ready to flip ♪

♪ Whenever you empty your clip
dip trip your sidekick ♪

♪ You got skill
you best bet is to chill ♪

♪ And do yourself a favor
don't
come nowhere near the Hill ♪

♪ With that bullshit word
money grip it'll cost ya ♪

♪ Make you reminisce
of Frank Nitti The Enforcer ♪

♪ I move with MOP's
last generation ♪

♪ Straight up and down act
like you want a confrontation
♪

♪ I packs my gat
I gotta stay strapped ♪

♪ I bust mines don't try
to sneak up on me from behind ♪

♪ Don't sleep
I get deep when I creep ♪

♪ I see right now I gotta
show
you it ain't nothin' sweet ♪

♪ Go get your [bleep] hammer
and act like you want drama ♪

♪ I'll send a message
to your mama ♪

♪ Hello do you know
your one son left ♪

♪ I am licensed to kill and
he had been marked for death ♪

♪ He's up the Hill
in the back of the building ♪

♪ With two in the dome I left
him stiffer than a tombstone ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪

♪ Yeah we like it rugged
in the ghetto ♪

♪ I used to pack sling shots
but
now I'm packin' heavy metal ♪

♪ A rugged underground
freestyler ♪

♪ Is Li'l Fame for you
not good slap Li'l Mallet ♪

♪ When I let off
it's a burning desire ♪

♪ Increase the peace when
I release it be rapid fire ♪

♪ For the cause
I drop suckers like drawers ♪

♪ Derelicts'll hit the
floors
from nickel-plated .44's ♪

♪ I'm takin' titles
when it's belt time ♪

♪ Play around I have punks
call the injury help line ♪

♪ I bust words in my verse
that'll serve ♪

♪ Even on my first nerve
I put herbs to curbs ♪

♪ 'Cause MOP
got the upper hand ♪

♪ And I still write hits ♪

♪ That make my brother
wanna get up and dance ♪

♪ Front I make it
a thrill to kill ♪

♪ Bringin' the ruckus
it's neighborhood hoods ♪

♪ For the Hill that's real ♪

♪ Me and mics hustle
light dubs and dykes ♪

♪ So who wanna skate 'cause
I'm puttin' thugs on ice ♪

♪ Whatever I drop must be
rough rugged and hard more ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo here I am ♪
♪ So what up? ♪

♪ Get it on sucker ♪

♪ Checkin' Bill seem to be
a ill black brother ♪

♪ I gets dough
from the way I flow ♪

♪ And before I go
you [bleep] gonna know ♪

♪ That I ain't nothin
to [bleep] with duck quick ♪

♪ I squeeze when I'm stressed
them Teflons'll ♪

♪ Will tear through your vest ♪

♪ I love a bloodbath ♪
♪ Niggas know the half ♪

♪ You can feel the wrath ♪
♪ Saratoga St. Marks Ave. ♪

♪ B-I-L-L-Y D-A-N-Z-E ♪
♪ E ♪

♪ N-I-E me Billy Danzenie ♪

♪ Knock knock ♪
♪ Who's there? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame ♪
♪ Li'l Fame who? ♪

♪ Li'l Fame your knuckle boom
ease up off the trigger ♪

♪ It's alright me and shorty
go to gunfights ♪

♪ Together we bring
the ruckus right ♪

♪ We trump tight alright ♪

♪ I earned mine
so I'm entitled to a title
♪

♪ Seven thirty ♪
♪ That means I'm homicidal ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ How about some hardcore? ♪
♪ Yeah we like it raw ♪

♪ Yo I scream on rappers
like a rollercoaster ♪

♪ To them wack competition
go hang it up like a poster ♪

♪ They all get excited
but don't excite me ♪

♪ Don't invite me.. ♪♪