All language subtitles for Big.Shots.Funeral.2001.Bluray.CHN.REMUX.1080p.AVC.DTSHDMA51-MOLA.EN (2)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,417 --> 00:00:26,167 Do you know who Tyler is? 2 00:00:27,458 --> 00:00:30,458 Yeah. He's a da waar director. 3 00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:33,083 What's a da waar? 4 00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:35,333 A big shot. 5 00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:38,333 Did you know he's in China? 6 00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:41,333 Yeah. He's remaking The Last Emperor. 7 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,042 What's wrong with your nose? 8 00:00:44,208 --> 00:00:46,287 Don't be nervous. 9 00:00:46,292 --> 00:00:48,333 You're not auditioning for a part. 10 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,958 What's your name? 11 00:00:51,208 --> 00:00:52,250 Yo Yo. 12 00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:54,750 I used to be a cameraman. 13 00:00:56,792 --> 00:01:00,417 As fast as you can, load the film and start shooting. 14 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,333 You sure are pretty. 15 00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:28,625 Thanks. 16 00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:31,833 Who are you? 17 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,083 You may call me Lucy. I'm Tyler's assistant. 18 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,833 What's the job? 19 00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:39,625 To shoot a “making of” documentary. 20 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:45,958 This is an important film about one of the world's greatest directors. 21 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:48,500 Why not hire an American? 22 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,453 Why not cut the 20 questions? 23 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,125 Do you speak English? 24 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,500 No. 25 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,958 Good. You won't need it. 26 00:01:57,333 --> 00:02:00,042 Look over this contract. 27 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:03,917 We'll notify you tomorrow. 28 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,787 You pay me how much “mar-nee”? 29 00:02:06,792 --> 00:02:08,750 Not “mar-nee” It's “money.” 30 00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:11,037 Then what's “mar-nee”? 31 00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:12,333 Money. 32 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:14,167 My pronunciation sucks but you understand? 33 00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:19,328 You will shoot everything. 34 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,792 Wherever he goes, you go. 35 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:26,208 It's 24-7. Mind your own business. 36 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:29,203 No talking to the press. 37 00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,620 You are just a pair of eyeballs. 38 00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:35,078 Just recording events. 39 00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:39,083 You have no copyright, no final cut and no creative control. 40 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:43,000 The last thing we need is your creativity. 41 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:44,953 Do I have the right to quit? 42 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,750 Only if we say so. 43 00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:04,083 It's a boy! 44 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,792 Cut! 45 00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:14,750 A perfect little baby. 46 00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:25,042 You want to do it again, Mr. Tyler? 47 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,750 Shall we do another take? 48 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:34,870 Yeah. 49 00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:37,458 Back to one, everyone. Let's do it again. 50 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,208 Stand by. 51 00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:44,375 Action! 52 00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:13,750 Cut. 53 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,000 - Problem? - No, no, no. Towel. 54 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,708 No, it's not you. You're... 55 00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:24,917 You're very, very, very good. 56 00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:29,000 - Are you sure? - Oh, I'm sure. It's me. 57 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,958 It's my problem. You take a break. 58 00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:49,125 Attention! 59 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,000 Everybody sit down! 60 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,875 I think this is the key. 61 00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,500 Chinese Imperial Palace, 62 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,458 Two colors: red and gold. Red walls, gold roofs. 63 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,287 Red stands for blood, the gold for money. 64 00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:07,750 Blood and money. Asian conception of power. 65 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:10,208 Who could flaunt power like this? 66 00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,667 Only the emperor dared do it. 67 00:07:13,208 --> 00:07:16,500 When Bertolucci made his film about the emperor... 68 00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:20,375 ...he empathized with him, treated him like an ordinary person. 69 00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:23,042 Showed his life from when he was a kid... 70 00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:27,542 ...and assumed the throne as if it were a tragedy. Which is true. 71 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:32,375 But he did it because that would appeal to Western audiences... 72 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:36,458 ...and guarantee the film's success. You know, make money. 73 00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,787 I don't think that's the right point of view. 74 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:44,833 The problem is, you have to break down modern prejudices... 75 00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:47,167 ...modern preconceptions. I mean, God... 76 00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:50,620 I'm Chinese and I thought Bertolucci's portrayal was moving. 77 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:52,167 You're not Chinese. 78 00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:56,875 You got a Chinese face, but you were brought up American. 79 00:07:56,917 --> 00:08:02,458 You want to know what a Chinese thinks of an emperor, ask Yo Yo what's his opinion. 80 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,000 Yo Yo, do you think the emperor was a tragic figure? 81 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,500 No. He had all these beautiful babes. 82 00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:15,250 A different one every night, all state-subsidized. 83 00:08:15,292 --> 00:08:17,453 I've only had one, who divorced me. 84 00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:20,792 I'm a tragic figure. Tell him exactly what I said. 85 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,745 He had lots of beautiful women. 86 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:26,495 - The emperor. - Yes. All paid for by the government. 87 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:30,500 His wife divorced him, so he thinks his life is a tragedy. 88 00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:34,333 That's it. That's what it's like to live with it. 89 00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:37,953 That's what ordinary Chinese people think of an emperor. 90 00:08:37,958 --> 00:08:41,120 Good. Very good! 91 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:44,250 No money, no woman. That's a tragedy. 92 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,495 Tragedy, tragedy. I just love you, kiddo. 93 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,667 I also “I love YOU' too! 94 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:10,578 He'll be like this today and tomorrow. 95 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,787 No one knows what he's thinking or what we're waiting for. 96 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,662 Trust Tyler. He's the best director in the biz. 97 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:22,667 He needs a thousand extras in the most expensive location for his creative process? 98 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,870 This place opens to the public soon. 99 00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:28,250 As his assistant, it's your job to tell him to shoot something. 100 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:33,250 Peter, don't forget why you survive in Hollywood is not because you have talent. 101 00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:37,833 It's only because you work for someone who does. 102 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,708 Stand up! 103 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:55,620 Do you want them to get changed? 104 00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,995 - They're waiting for you. - Jesus. 105 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Everything I'm doing is just... It's a load of junk. 106 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:06,167 It's got no inspiration, Lucy. No vision. Complete waste of time. 107 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:11,167 Tell Peter it's a wrap. I can't shoot any more of this crap. 108 00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:15,412 Tony gets here tomorrow. You should have something to show him. 109 00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:19,417 Yo Yo. Tell Peter, everybody, finished. 110 00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:26,042 - Finished. Peter. - Finished! Finished. 111 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,328 What are you doing? 112 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:31,037 Following orders. What are you doing? 113 00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:35,042 Trying to finish this movie, not stroke his ego! 114 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,203 What? 115 00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:40,245 If the director isn't ready, the film will be crap. 116 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,167 - Shut up! - Hey, what's going on? 117 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:46,458 He said he's not paid to do what you just asked. 118 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:47,833 He said what? 119 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:55,578 You... Here... Not clear... 120 00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:59,583 No good, movie also no good. 121 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:07,792 Money. You're wasting your time. 122 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,495 Clear as a bell. 123 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:18,500 Yo Yo says that without the right idea at the heart of your movie... 124 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,583 ...shooting it is just the same as taking a piss in the ocean. 125 00:11:23,458 --> 00:11:26,917 Peter, it's a wrap! 126 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:31,542 - I love you. - I love you, I love you, I love you. 127 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:36,125 - It's a wrap! - I speak Chinese! 128 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:53,667 Shit, another day wasted. Damn it! 129 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,870 - Hey, kid, how are you? - How was the trip? 130 00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:15,042 Very long. My ankles are killing me. 131 00:12:15,292 --> 00:12:18,120 It's a great set. Great, great, great. 132 00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:22,708 Peter, my boy. You let me down, kid. You let me down. 133 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:26,120 You probably think I came here with a contract... 134 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,287 .but I got you a one-way ticket back. 135 00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:30,708 Don't beg. I do not like begging. 136 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,995 Well, can I get you a diuretic? 137 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,037 - For what? - Your ankles. 138 00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:38,620 As long as it's not Chinese herbs. 139 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,245 - Where's Tyler? - I'll see what I can do. 140 00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,625 - This way. - Thanks, kid. Tyler! 141 00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:49,370 We've seen all the dailies and we're very, very satisfied. 142 00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:52,662 This could be a fabulous picture, Tyler. 143 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,537 But there's a problem: 144 00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:59,458 You're over budget, behind schedule and the investors are getting crazy. 145 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,495 Out of respect for you, I can hold them off a day. 146 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,953 But you gotta make a choice. 147 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:08,958 I have to make a choice? I choose to scrap the film. 148 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:13,287 - Just shut up for a second and listen. - I'm listening. 149 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:17,292 I could shoot and bring it in on budget, but you'd end up with junk. 150 00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:22,203 Uninspired trash that has no truth in it. None! 151 00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:25,078 I've been waiting for my God of truth... 152 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:27,078 ...but all I get is the back of his head. 153 00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:29,745 He's walking away. He's left me in the dark. 154 00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:33,750 I'm sitting in this black hole of depression and I can't get out! 155 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,537 - Tyler... - No! Listen to me! 156 00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,953 I've looked from every point of view: 157 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:42,958 From the Eastern, from the Western, from a child's, from an artist's. 158 00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:47,037 And all I get is a description of the emperor, you know? 159 00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:49,537 I mean, an... 160 00:13:49,542 --> 00:13:53,542 A superficial representation that doesn't transcend banal reality. 161 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:57,495 It doesn't have God's light in it. 162 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:01,500 There's no epiphany. There's nothing poetically definitive. 163 00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:05,537 I realize that none of our films have. 164 00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:07,287 There's nothing I can do about them. 165 00:14:07,292 --> 00:14:11,292 But about this I can, and that's what I choose to do. 166 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,495 We've known each other how long, 30 years? 167 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:16,537 You believe me when I tell you I respect you? 168 00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:18,995 Then for God's sakes, help me with this. 169 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,828 We've brought in a new kid to finish the picture. 170 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,828 An MTV kid. Steven somebody, I forget his name. 171 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:29,833 Hell take over. He gets no credit. Your name stays on the picture. 172 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,995 If you agree to these terms, you get your salary. 173 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,745 You save face, you make money. 174 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:39,750 You cannot leave my name on it. I don't care about the new guy. 175 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:44,412 You can't leave my name. That's the point of me scrapping it. 176 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,208 - I might as well kill myself. - You got one other choice. 177 00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,542 - I'll tell you what it is. - Yeah? 178 00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:55,125 Kill me. Go ahead, do it. 179 00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:57,000 Kill me. 180 00:14:57,083 --> 00:15:00,495 There comes a time in the affairs of men, Yo Yo. 181 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,870 Should I kill him? 182 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,833 Should he kill him? 183 00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,250 You asked for it. 184 00:15:15,042 --> 00:15:19,042 Well, I already made a deal with Mitsutomo. 185 00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:21,453 The kid will finish the picture. 186 00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:24,792 Your name stays on it. You have no choice. 187 00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:51,495 The Buddhist believe every cause there must be an effect. 188 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,995 The law of karma dictates that for every cause there must be an effect. 189 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,000 The Buddhist's goal is to transcend suffering and reach Western paradise. 190 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,500 Lucy. 191 00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,208 I need to reload. 192 00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,370 What does Jing Jie mean? 193 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:20,245 I don't know how to translate it. 194 00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:22,458 “The level one can attain.” 195 00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:24,500 Could you be more specific? 196 00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:26,495 $20 and I'll tell you. 197 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,328 Why are you treating me this way? 198 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:31,495 What, are we friends now? 199 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,703 I'm just an employee. 200 00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:35,917 Just a pair of eyeballs, remember? 201 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,917 Greedy bastard. 202 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,917 Over there. 203 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,787 This is you. This is me. 204 00:16:55,792 --> 00:16:58,120 This is Tyler and this is Buddha. 205 00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,912 You can see this far. I can see this far. 206 00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:03,250 Tyler can see this far. 207 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:08,208 And Buddha can see for eternity. 208 00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:10,953 That's Jing Jie. 209 00:17:10,958 --> 00:17:12,495 Buddha is the highest, 210 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,162 then Tyler, 211 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,417 then me, then you. 212 00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:18,953 Like the saying, “A rat can't see past her nose.” 213 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:21,458 Consider that a freebie. 214 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,495 I'll give you a freebie too. Go to hell. 215 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,917 - What's that mean? - Go to hell! 216 00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:36,958 Buddha says, “The death of the body isn't the end of life. 217 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:39,453 It's the beginning of a new life.” 218 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,662 Ask Yo Yo if he believes that. 219 00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:46,667 Reincarnation certainly makes the idea of death a lot more inviting. 220 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,667 Do you believe in reincarnation? 221 00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:52,078 Nope. It's all a big hoax. 222 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,875 After you die, that's all she wrote. 223 00:17:54,167 --> 00:17:57,333 He's depressed. 224 00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:00,042 Can't you say something more cheerful? 225 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:04,328 We Chinese have a saying. 226 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,412 “If this life is bad, it doesn't matter. 227 00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:08,870 The next life will be better.' 228 00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:10,578 We Chinese have a saying: 229 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:14,120 “If this life is bad, it doesn't matter. There's another life waiting.” 230 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:16,370 So death is not so bad. 231 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:20,287 Woody Allen said he'll take a change of underwear, just in case. 232 00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:24,000 The Chinese are very good at comforting themselves. 233 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Chinese... 70 years... 234 00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:33,000 Older people die. 235 00:18:33,708 --> 00:18:35,208 Good finish. 236 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,208 Everybody drinks. Cheers. 237 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:45,125 Good life. To a good life. To a good life. 238 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:48,917 A happy funeral. How do you say “funeral”? 239 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:50,875 Pay up. 240 00:18:57,792 --> 00:18:59,162 What are you trying to say? 241 00:18:59,167 --> 00:18:59,995 I'm trying to say: 242 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,620 If a person dies after 70, 243 00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,625 it's a “happy death.” 244 00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:08,287 - He's trying to say... - No, I get it. 245 00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:10,787 I think I get it. What he's saying is: 246 00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:13,870 If you go to an older person's funeral in China... 247 00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:17,828 ...when you come out of it, you feel uplifted and happy. 248 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:21,833 It's the same feeling you get when you see a really witty comedy. 249 00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:26,042 A comedy. Very comedy. 250 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,870 - Xiju? - Yes. 251 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,620 - Xiju is... - Comedy. 252 00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:32,083 - Comedy. - What is the word for “funeral”? 253 00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:35,703 - ‘Funeral” - Comedy funeral. 254 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,708 Comedy funeral! 255 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:46,833 Comedy funeral 256 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:08,537 Tyler, I don't know how to tell you this. 257 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:13,542 The Japanese had a meeting with the crew and didn't inform us. 258 00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,453 They told everyone because of your health problems... 259 00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:19,495 ...you had to return to the States for rest... 260 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,995 ...and Steven will take over as director. 261 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,333 After the meeting, they told Peter in private that he was fired. 262 00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:32,167 The Japanese brought over their own producer. Yo Yo was fired too. 263 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,750 - Tony wants you in the makeup truck. - Okay. 264 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:44,083 Before he leaves, I need to clear up some things with him. 265 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:52,042 It's only going to be a little break. 266 00:20:53,375 --> 00:20:56,958 I need the rest anyhow. It's not going to be long. 267 00:20:57,583 --> 00:20:59,583 Give my love to Lilian. 268 00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,703 Tell the kids I'm sorry I don't have gifts. 269 00:21:02,708 --> 00:21:04,500 It came on so quick. 270 00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:07,792 I understand your situation. 271 00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:10,708 Take care of yourself. 272 00:21:55,375 --> 00:21:56,375 Yo Yo. 273 00:21:58,542 --> 00:21:59,542 Camera. 274 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:03,917 Yes. 275 00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:07,583 Change. 276 00:22:12,292 --> 00:22:13,417 How long? 277 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,787 - Four... - Four minutes. 278 00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:18,167 You... 279 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:21,375 ...sit. Sit. 280 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,917 I shoot you. 281 00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:31,917 Sit. 282 00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:34,500 This way. 283 00:22:43,625 --> 00:22:46,042 Four minutes. 284 00:22:46,958 --> 00:22:49,583 My gift to you. 285 00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:55,625 You have a God-given talent. And you just... 286 00:22:56,125 --> 00:23:00,125 All he needs is the right opportunity. 287 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,000 My work finish? My English no good. 288 00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:07,912 So you say yes or no? 289 00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:11,917 Yeah. My work finish too. 290 00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:14,162 I'm going to get on my horse. 291 00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:16,167 It's ok. 292 00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:21,083 What time come China? 293 00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:24,625 Work for you. Free. 294 00:23:24,917 --> 00:23:28,917 I want you to give me comedy funeral. 295 00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,953 Comedy funeral! 296 00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:35,120 No problem! I'm waiting for your news. 297 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:38,412 My God, the truth is standing around. It's a woman! 298 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:43,375 Got really short hair. She's trying to tell me everything. 299 00:23:45,750 --> 00:23:49,125 Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? 300 00:23:49,208 --> 00:23:52,745 Hello? Hello? Somebody help! 301 00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:56,583 Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! 302 00:23:56,833 --> 00:23:58,750 Somebody help! 303 00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:08,292 Lucy, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 304 00:25:09,167 --> 00:25:12,328 - How long you been here? - About two hours. 305 00:25:12,333 --> 00:25:13,912 My English not good. 306 00:25:13,917 --> 00:25:17,917 I can't believe it. Maybe it's my fault. 307 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,000 I came here to help. Now look what's happened. 308 00:25:22,250 --> 00:25:24,375 All right, thank you. Go home. 309 00:25:30,708 --> 00:25:33,542 No. This is not your business. 310 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:38,833 My bag. 311 00:25:39,583 --> 00:25:41,750 I said get out of here! 312 00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:16,787 We had a misunderstanding. I hope I didn't hurt you. 313 00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:21,208 I just wanted my bag and helmet. 314 00:26:21,292 --> 00:26:25,292 Tony's having a private meeting, and... 315 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,042 Hey, man. Thanks. 316 00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:30,995 You're a good guy. We could become friends. 317 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,292 Be cool! 318 00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:35,583 Sorry, baby. 319 00:26:36,458 --> 00:26:38,542 It's like he expected this. 320 00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:42,620 These last few days, all he and Yo Yo... 321 00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:47,167 ...that Chinese guy who was here, have been talking about is funerals. 322 00:26:47,417 --> 00:26:50,667 He kept saying he wanted a comedy funeral. 323 00:26:50,792 --> 00:26:54,578 I thought his spirits were low and he was joking. 324 00:26:54,583 --> 00:27:01,083 But just before he passed out he told me he wanted Yo Yo to give him a comedy funeral. 325 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:05,875 But if he dies, does that count as his will? 326 00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,250 It sounds like he authorized it. 327 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,162 Does he think Yo Yo can organize his funeral? 328 00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:17,037 He's controlling how he'll be remembered. 329 00:27:17,042 --> 00:27:21,042 He's proving that he's asking face from nobody, giving face to nobody. 330 00:27:21,417 --> 00:27:24,120 He's confused. He thinks we deserted him, 331 00:27:24,125 --> 00:27:25,828 so he's deserting us. 332 00:27:25,833 --> 00:27:28,125 He's got huge pride. 333 00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:30,708 Poor Tyler. 334 00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:33,662 For the sake of friendship, 335 00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:35,667 You should handle the funeral. 336 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:37,833 Quiet. 337 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:41,703 Comedy funeral. 338 00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:44,792 Comedy funeral! A comedy funeral, no problem! 339 00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:49,667 She's going to tell me everything. 340 00:27:49,708 --> 00:27:51,162 Help! 341 00:27:51,167 --> 00:27:53,333 Lucy! Lucy! 342 00:27:53,792 --> 00:27:58,167 Oh, my God! Tyler! Please! No! 343 00:27:58,625 --> 00:28:02,037 Yo Yo, give me comedy funeral. 344 00:28:02,042 --> 00:28:05,995 No! Oh, my God, Tyler! No, please! 345 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,333 Yc Yo, get an ambulance! 346 00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:13,245 Is this his will? 347 00:28:13,250 --> 00:28:16,828 I think he's had a nervous breakdown. 348 00:28:16,833 --> 00:28:20,500 It's an authorization. You're responsible for his funeral. 349 00:28:24,542 --> 00:28:26,620 What did that idiot say to you? 350 00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,625 This idiot says he's gonna do it. 351 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,375 Moronic. 352 00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,953 Sorry I can't be with you. 353 00:28:32,958 --> 00:28:36,958 I gotta go to Japan for a few days. Excuse me. Hello? 354 00:28:37,375 --> 00:28:39,662 Hey, Mike, how are you? 355 00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:41,917 I'm in China. I'm on my way to the airport. 356 00:28:42,250 --> 00:28:45,292 Well, a little problem has come up. 357 00:28:46,083 --> 00:28:50,083 Princess Diana's casket... 358 00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:54,458 is adorned by flowers from her sons... 359 00:28:56,583 --> 00:29:03,500 and a handwritten card from her mother. 360 00:29:07,125 --> 00:29:10,792 Thousand of mourners line the route... 361 00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,167 Over here! 362 00:29:28,750 --> 00:29:30,458 Out drinking again? 363 00:29:31,917 --> 00:29:34,667 Yellow hair doesn't suit you. 364 00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:37,953 - You should dye it red. - Why? 365 00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,333 You look inbred. 366 00:29:41,292 --> 00:29:43,245 You disappear for five years! 367 00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:45,578 Now there's some big mystery! 368 00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:47,662 I'll tell you. 369 00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:49,708 But only if you promise to keep it a secret. 370 00:29:51,417 --> 00:29:55,458 Just because I drive a Cadillac, doesn't mean I'm rich. 371 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:59,453 Concerts rely on sponsors. 372 00:29:59,458 --> 00:30:02,542 I don't make a cent off the box office. 373 00:30:03,042 --> 00:30:08,458 And no fires or floods this year. 374 00:30:09,167 --> 00:30:13,037 So no benefit concerts to profit from others' suffering. 375 00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,912 You bonehead! 376 00:30:14,917 --> 00:30:17,370 I don't need your money. I've got a big job for you. 377 00:30:17,375 --> 00:30:19,833 I don't have any to give you anyway! 378 00:30:20,833 --> 00:30:22,870 On the way over, I thought: 379 00:30:22,875 --> 00:30:26,078 “If he needs 20,000, I'll just give him 2000.” 380 00:30:26,083 --> 00:30:28,917 My treat. 381 00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:32,167 So, what's up? 382 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:36,458 You're a bigtime promoter, right? 383 00:30:37,958 --> 00:30:41,250 I'm the best. 384 00:30:41,833 --> 00:30:43,667 How about a funeral? 385 00:30:45,792 --> 00:30:47,042 A funeral? 386 00:30:48,292 --> 00:30:51,203 If we're talking John Doe, forget it. 387 00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:53,417 But, say, that Russian sub... 388 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:56,120 - What's it called? - The Kursk. 389 00:30:56,125 --> 00:30:58,662 Right, the Kursk. Now that's a show! 390 00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:01,500 I'd definitely be able to pull it off. 391 00:31:02,375 --> 00:31:06,375 Center stage. A huge replica of the ill-fated sub. 392 00:31:06,458 --> 00:31:10,458 Top models strutting back and forth in sexy navy outfits. 393 00:31:10,958 --> 00:31:16,125 We'll get Celine Dion to sing “My Love Will Go On.” 394 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:22,042 Really! Why didn't I think of this before? 395 00:31:22,125 --> 00:31:24,250 I'm being serious. 396 00:31:24,833 --> 00:31:29,333 - All right. Whose funeral? - Someone in the arts. 397 00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:34,245 Well, that depends. It's got to be a big shot. 398 00:31:34,250 --> 00:31:36,870 And he can't be an asshole. 399 00:31:36,875 --> 00:31:38,912 Or a child molester. 400 00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:40,578 There are limits to what we can do. 401 00:31:40,583 --> 00:31:43,828 Akira Kurosawa, for instance. 402 00:31:43,833 --> 00:31:47,750 There's a death you could make some money on. 403 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,417 Bigger than Kurosawa. 404 00:31:56,042 --> 00:31:59,667 Who? Couldn't be Chinese. 405 00:32:01,292 --> 00:32:04,375 - Tyler. - Which Tyler? 406 00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:06,667 That Tyler! 407 00:32:07,250 --> 00:32:10,083 Oh, that Tyler? 408 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:11,958 Of course, that Tyler. 409 00:32:16,375 --> 00:32:18,042 We're in business. 410 00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:23,417 Welcome. 411 00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:27,662 Hi, Lucy. Mitsutomos producer Nakati-san is waiting inside. 412 00:32:27,667 --> 00:32:29,620 I'll be working for him. 413 00:32:29,625 --> 00:32:33,328 They felt that my experience was valuable, so they kept me on. 414 00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,578 I know this may hurt Tyler's feelings, 415 00:32:35,583 --> 00:32:37,667 but I gotta work too. 416 00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,875 Tyler might find it surprising, but not me. 417 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:45,667 Excuse me. How is Tyler? 418 00:32:45,875 --> 00:32:48,000 Is that really important to you? 419 00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:51,458 Let me speak frankly. 420 00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:55,453 if Tyler unfortunately passes away, 421 00:32:55,458 --> 00:32:59,162 that's a great selling point of the film. 422 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:03,500 But we need permission to use his name as the director. 423 00:33:04,042 --> 00:33:06,500 You speak for Mr. Tyler now. 424 00:33:06,667 --> 00:33:10,037 I hope that you will give us that permission. 425 00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:12,120 Tyler doesn't want his name on the film. 426 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,745 That's because he is unable to speak. 427 00:33:14,750 --> 00:33:17,953 Name a price. Name a pretty high price. 428 00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:20,833 It's worth it to us, and I know you need the money. 429 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:24,412 Tyler's going to recover. 430 00:33:24,417 --> 00:33:26,708 I understand your feelings. 431 00:33:27,125 --> 00:33:28,953 The doctors said it's a matter of time. 432 00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:31,162 He's going to die. 433 00:33:31,167 --> 00:33:33,958 That's true of you as well. You'll die. 434 00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:35,458 It's just a matter of time. 435 00:33:35,542 --> 00:33:37,958 I've heard enough from both of you. 436 00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:42,583 Lucy. Lucy, come... Lucy, come back. 437 00:33:42,625 --> 00:33:46,000 What happened? I am very upset! 438 00:33:51,542 --> 00:33:55,250 Cut that light. No backlight. 439 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:58,958 Soon as I roll, start pouring. And make sure it bubbles. 440 00:33:59,208 --> 00:34:02,412 Hi, I'm not in, and I'm not telling where I went. 441 00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:05,000 Leave a message. 442 00:34:05,917 --> 00:34:08,787 Hi, Yo Yo. It's Lucy. 443 00:34:08,792 --> 00:34:12,792 I need to rent a car and find a place to stay. 444 00:34:15,625 --> 00:34:19,542 I had no one else to turn to. 445 00:34:39,542 --> 00:34:43,167 - I'll do it. - Stay in the car! Get back in the car! 446 00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:09,792 Cold? 447 00:35:10,792 --> 00:35:12,292 I've got a three-point plan. 448 00:35:12,333 --> 00:35:14,333 First, dry clothes. 449 00:35:14,458 --> 00:35:16,662 Second, hot soup. 450 00:35:16,667 --> 00:35:18,250 Third... 451 00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:21,292 - What? - I'm working on it. 452 00:35:54,583 --> 00:35:57,750 What's your plan after Tyler dies? 453 00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,625 Go ahead and cry. 454 00:36:18,917 --> 00:36:20,750 You've been holding it back too long. 455 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:21,833 Thanks. 456 00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:34,620 You can sleep with me if you want. 457 00:36:34,625 --> 00:36:35,620 No, that's not what I mean. 458 00:36:35,625 --> 00:36:39,208 I mean, hotels aren't cheap. 459 00:36:42,292 --> 00:36:44,375 Not that you don't have money, because I'm sure you do. 460 00:36:44,792 --> 00:36:48,287 It's not the money, it's just... 461 00:36:48,292 --> 00:36:52,125 So if you don't care about, you know... 462 00:36:52,375 --> 00:36:56,750 If you're not afraid... What the hell am I talking about? 463 00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:02,958 Could you come here and hug me? 464 00:37:21,125 --> 00:37:25,417 Forget it. Forget it. Maybe I should go. 465 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:36,412 Why go to the hospital now? 466 00:37:36,417 --> 00:37:38,417 He needs me. 467 00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,792 I'll show you a hug! 468 00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:11,833 Don't be afraid. It's okay. 469 00:38:22,792 --> 00:38:26,167 Don't cry. I'm here for you. 470 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,667 If anything happened to you, how could I go on? 471 00:38:36,083 --> 00:38:38,583 Stop gazing at me like that. 472 00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:55,583 His office is upstairs. 473 00:38:57,958 --> 00:38:59,083 You play pool? 474 00:38:59,208 --> 00:39:01,625 A little. Tyler loves it. 475 00:39:02,458 --> 00:39:05,875 Snooker's more my style. 476 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:14,167 Wang, she's here. 477 00:39:14,250 --> 00:39:16,453 What the hell?! 478 00:39:16,458 --> 00:39:18,037 You said 10! 479 00:39:18,042 --> 00:39:19,953 - Well, just meet her. - No, no, no! 480 00:39:19,958 --> 00:39:21,953 I'll introduce you. 481 00:39:21,958 --> 00:39:23,662 No way! 482 00:39:23,667 --> 00:39:26,870 This is an international occasion! This demands formal attire! 483 00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:30,495 Keep her busy. 484 00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:32,917 I'll meet you upstairs! 485 00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:39,500 Let's roll. 486 00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:44,458 Allow me to introduce you. 487 00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,250 This is... 488 00:39:47,375 --> 00:39:50,412 Is it George or Louis this time? 489 00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:51,370 Louis! 490 00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:53,787 Louis Wang. 491 00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:57,537 GM of 3W-Dot-Corn Productions. 492 00:39:57,542 --> 00:39:59,745 This is Tyler's assistant, Lucy. 493 00:39:59,750 --> 00:40:02,750 She'll be supervising the funeral. 494 00:40:03,667 --> 00:40:07,167 On behalf of our comrades at 3W-Dot-Com, 495 00:40:07,417 --> 00:40:12,042 please accept our condolences over Mr. Tyler's tragic death. 496 00:40:13,042 --> 00:40:16,120 Excuse me. Tyler's not dead yet. 497 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,328 But he's real close. 498 00:40:18,333 --> 00:40:20,708 And it doesn't look good. 499 00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:29,875 Well, whatever the outcome, our hearts are heavy with anguish. 500 00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:36,250 Go ahead. 501 00:40:41,125 --> 00:40:45,125 It happened so suddenly. We haven't had enough time to discuss it. 502 00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:47,953 There is no comfortable event... 503 00:40:47,958 --> 00:40:51,958 But our company has a credo. 504 00:40:54,542 --> 00:40:58,542 We will fight the tough battle. 505 00:40:59,250 --> 00:41:02,417 We will fight the big battle. 506 00:41:02,667 --> 00:41:07,500 We will win the battle that cannot be won! 507 00:41:07,917 --> 00:41:11,412 Mr. Wang. How can you do that? 508 00:41:11,417 --> 00:41:14,953 He means there's nothing they can't do. 509 00:41:14,958 --> 00:41:17,995 - I understand Chinese. - I'm sorry. 510 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:22,000 My company has a policy that when meeting with a foreign guest, 511 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,787 each side only speak their native language. 512 00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:28,042 What? Is that necessary? 513 00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,995 I would respect your policy... 514 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,833 Cut the crap, all right? 515 00:41:36,792 --> 00:41:38,620 When did you become so pragmatic, 516 00:41:38,625 --> 00:41:40,620 like a goddamn American? 517 00:41:40,625 --> 00:41:42,750 Stick to the point. Get down to business. 518 00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:45,620 Let's get down to business. 519 00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:47,667 First, the location. 520 00:41:48,083 --> 00:41:52,125 Because of the time, this is still just a rough sketch. 521 00:41:52,375 --> 00:41:54,620 But it gives the general idea. 522 00:41:54,625 --> 00:41:56,833 What's with the U.S. flag? 523 00:41:57,417 --> 00:42:00,708 Duh. Tyler's an American. 524 00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:19,328 That's the Temple of the Ancestors. 525 00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:21,542 Tyler filmed there. 526 00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:29,792 Let me explain our reasoning. We eliminated some choices. 527 00:42:29,875 --> 00:42:32,583 A funeral home was out of the question. 528 00:42:32,667 --> 00:42:36,583 Too spooky and didn't follow Tyler's wishes. 529 00:42:36,667 --> 00:42:42,292 We also considered a place familiar and dear to him: 530 00:42:42,750 --> 00:42:44,042 A sound stage. 531 00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:48,500 But that's too small and limiting. 532 00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:50,167 And you can't tell it's China. 533 00:42:51,250 --> 00:42:55,250 So after much deliberation, we chose a venue of immense cultural importance! 534 00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:01,328 - The Forbidden City. - Perfect. 535 00:43:01,333 --> 00:43:03,412 Tyler's an American, 536 00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:07,417 but his laolao, the mother of his mother, was Italian. 537 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:12,375 So we kick it off with Zhang Yimou directing Turandot. 538 00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:18,792 Turandot? What? The openings going to take two hours? 539 00:43:18,875 --> 00:43:21,453 We won't do the whole thing. 540 00:43:21,458 --> 00:43:24,667 Just a few arias. 541 00:43:24,750 --> 00:43:28,875 Like “Nessun Dorma.” What do you think? 542 00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:32,625 I prefer “What a Beautiful Jasmine.” 543 00:43:33,125 --> 00:43:36,917 It's adapted from a Chinese folk song. 544 00:43:37,292 --> 00:43:40,912 So it's Italian, but sounds Chinese. 545 00:43:40,917 --> 00:43:44,703 Like Puccini knew Tylerd die in China. 546 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:45,912 It's fate. 547 00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:52,458 Next we'll have a stand-up comedy routine: 548 00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:54,245 “The Joke Is on Tyler.” 549 00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:56,745 Like your talk shows, only more depressing. 550 00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:59,120 And then, to get the emotion flowing, 551 00:43:59,125 --> 00:44:06,125 rock star Zang Tianshuo performs his chart-topping anthem. 552 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:23,542 Friend, oh, my friend 553 00:44:23,792 --> 00:44:27,417 Do you ever think of me? 554 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:31,453 If you've found happiness 555 00:44:31,458 --> 00:44:34,833 Then let our memories be 556 00:44:35,458 --> 00:44:38,792 Friend, oh, my friend 557 00:44:39,208 --> 00:44:42,750 Do you ever think of me? 558 00:44:43,208 --> 00:44:47,162 If you can't stand it 559 00:44:47,167 --> 00:44:49,745 Please tell me 560 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:53,750 Next up, director Chen Kaige and Tyler's favorite actress, Gong Li... 561 00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:04,583 ...wiII award his corpse a Golden Rooster for lifetime achievement. 562 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,792 If Gong Li cancels, we'll get Zhang Ziyi. 563 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,662 He loves her. 564 00:45:12,667 --> 00:45:16,958 The last section is “Tyler's New Life.” 565 00:45:52,958 --> 00:45:55,042 This kid is Tyler's reincarnation. 566 00:45:56,083 --> 00:46:00,083 But Tyler's white. How'd he become Chinese? 567 00:46:01,792 --> 00:46:05,792 If he dies in China, he should become Chinese. 568 00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:11,495 He should come out the way he went in. 569 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:15,500 But that doesn't benefit Sino-U.S. friendship, does it? 570 00:46:15,792 --> 00:46:19,792 It could injure the feelings of the Chinese people. 571 00:46:20,208 --> 00:46:21,828 We wouldn't want that. 572 00:46:21,833 --> 00:46:24,953 What about my feelings? 573 00:46:24,958 --> 00:46:26,708 All right, let's not argue about it. 574 00:46:28,708 --> 00:46:32,708 Look, Tyler's memory belongs to the world. 575 00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:38,037 Because he's white now doesn't mean he should stay white. 576 00:46:38,042 --> 00:46:40,542 Let me finish. 577 00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:46,250 So although he dies here, he doesn't have to come back Chinese. 578 00:46:46,917 --> 00:46:47,958 Be cool! 579 00:46:48,583 --> 00:46:53,708 He should return to the people who need him most. 580 00:46:54,750 --> 00:46:58,208 Now since Africa's film industry is still in its start-up phase, 581 00:46:58,583 --> 00:47:01,750 how about an African baby? 582 00:47:01,958 --> 00:47:03,787 - What? - African? 583 00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:07,328 A little black kid shooting across the sky! 584 00:47:07,333 --> 00:47:08,620 The skin is black. 585 00:47:08,625 --> 00:47:12,833 The kid still has Tyler's voice and speaks English, 586 00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:16,542 returning from the dead to tell his fans: 587 00:47:18,458 --> 00:47:20,583 “I love you.” 588 00:47:21,333 --> 00:47:23,912 Shit. We have to do it that way. 589 00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,828 Only three colors to choose from, 590 00:47:26,833 --> 00:47:29,412 unless we turn him into a bird or fish. 591 00:47:29,417 --> 00:47:31,245 Then we have more options. 592 00:47:31,250 --> 00:47:34,667 - Dark black or mocha? - True crimson. 593 00:47:37,917 --> 00:47:41,083 Check this out. 594 00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,995 Change the color, not the sex! 595 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,620 - They're sick. - It's a virus! 596 00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:00,953 Maybe he'd be happier as a girl. 597 00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:02,000 Shut up! 598 00:48:02,833 --> 00:48:06,958 An Asian footprint isn't enough. We want global coverage! 599 00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:09,833 Do whatever it takes! 600 00:48:09,875 --> 00:48:12,250 We'll rent a Russian satellite. 601 00:48:12,458 --> 00:48:16,458 You tell him, worldwide TV gets broadcast rights, but he pays the satellite fee. 602 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:25,000 With a global broadcast, we are talking billions of viewers. 603 00:48:26,292 --> 00:48:28,667 Turandot will make money. 604 00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:31,958 This thing's really snowballing. 605 00:48:32,250 --> 00:48:33,578 Makes me nervous. 606 00:48:33,583 --> 00:48:35,620 Don't sweat it, I'm here! 607 00:48:35,625 --> 00:48:38,828 We have to resolve the time zone problem. 608 00:48:38,833 --> 00:48:42,833 For European viewers, early morning would be ideal. 609 00:48:45,375 --> 00:48:48,328 Keep them up all night. 610 00:48:48,333 --> 00:48:51,453 - The Chinese audience comes first. - Good point. 611 00:48:51,458 --> 00:48:54,912 Things are taking shape. Everything's about set. 612 00:48:54,917 --> 00:49:00,000 I hope Tyler holds out a few more days so I can get this stage up. 613 00:49:02,125 --> 00:49:04,875 We're bleeding money like crazy. 614 00:49:05,333 --> 00:49:09,328 I've been so busy, I forgot to ask: 615 00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:11,203 Who's paying for this? 616 00:49:11,208 --> 00:49:13,453 I'm going to need some cash. 617 00:49:13,458 --> 00:49:17,328 Tyler should pay. You front cash to get it rolling, then... 618 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:20,083 “Should pay”? He has to pay! 619 00:49:21,708 --> 00:49:24,578 Don't worry. I got it covered. 620 00:49:24,583 --> 00:49:28,750 - Make sure of it. - Don't worry about this. 621 00:49:53,250 --> 00:49:55,287 He's sure got some fight in him. 622 00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:57,828 The machines are keeping him alive. 623 00:49:57,833 --> 00:49:59,578 And gives you more time. 624 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:01,037 How's it going? 625 00:50:01,042 --> 00:50:04,292 It's all set. Come out, we need to talk. 626 00:50:08,167 --> 00:50:10,620 I keep forgetting to ask about the money. 627 00:50:10,625 --> 00:50:12,870 What's your budget? 628 00:50:12,875 --> 00:50:15,500 It won't be cheap. 629 00:50:16,208 --> 00:50:19,250 We don't have any money. You'll have to think of something. 630 00:50:22,875 --> 00:50:26,000 What do you mean, I'll have to think of something? 631 00:50:31,333 --> 00:50:34,208 Tyler never mentioned money at all? 632 00:50:34,708 --> 00:50:36,750 He's totally broke. 633 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:42,287 Then what the hell am I doing? 634 00:50:42,292 --> 00:50:45,875 He's not my father! I'm totally screwed! 635 00:50:46,708 --> 00:50:49,375 No one's forcing you. 636 00:50:58,625 --> 00:51:01,328 Mr. Zhang is exiting the bathroom! 637 00:51:01,333 --> 00:51:03,417 I'll secure the hallway. 638 00:51:09,708 --> 00:51:15,292 Mr. Zhang is the Genghis Khan of Chinese T. 639 00:51:15,875 --> 00:51:19,620 His investments are quite aggressive. 640 00:51:19,625 --> 00:51:21,042 A ferocious appetite! 641 00:51:21,125 --> 00:51:24,625 You produce half of all TV dramas, correct? 642 00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:26,875 I heard all about you! So that's really you? 643 00:51:28,083 --> 00:51:29,875 Sure as hell ain't you. 644 00:51:30,125 --> 00:51:32,917 Sure as hell ain't you. 645 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:39,125 I heard you're doing online casting for Golden Lotus. Any luck? 646 00:51:39,292 --> 00:51:43,167 I'd go with a character actress. 647 00:51:43,292 --> 00:51:44,625 Yo Yo. 648 00:51:45,792 --> 00:51:49,208 Shut up for a second. Listen to Mr. Zhang's condition for sponsorship. 649 00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:52,542 My terms are simple. 650 00:51:57,542 --> 00:52:01,292 Here's what I want to happen. This mystery woman... 651 00:52:01,625 --> 00:52:08,083 ...wiII accompany Tyler throughout the funeral. 652 00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:11,120 Who's this? 653 00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:12,787 Tyler's lover! 654 00:52:12,792 --> 00:52:14,375 Impossible! 655 00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:18,292 At his age? Are you kidding? 656 00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:21,292 Maybe for Clinton's funeral. 657 00:52:21,917 --> 00:52:22,828 What? 658 00:52:22,833 --> 00:52:28,208 Of course, it's just an act. She's an actress. 659 00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:32,625 Your Golden Lotus, right? 660 00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:38,208 The funeral will launch her career. 661 00:52:38,458 --> 00:52:40,412 The media loves that shit! 662 00:52:40,417 --> 00:52:42,328 She'll be famous overnight! 663 00:52:42,333 --> 00:52:44,745 Famous before her first role? 664 00:52:44,750 --> 00:52:46,583 Exactly! 665 00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:52,125 If we agree, Mr. Zhang foots the whole bill. 666 00:52:52,333 --> 00:52:53,328 Five million. 667 00:52:53,333 --> 00:52:55,745 You said four! The price went up? 668 00:52:55,750 --> 00:52:56,787 It always does. 669 00:52:56,792 --> 00:53:01,208 At four million, we only see a silhouette. 670 00:53:01,375 --> 00:53:05,375 For five million, the veil comes off, 671 00:53:05,625 --> 00:53:09,625 and during the ceremony she gets three big close-ups. 672 00:53:10,250 --> 00:53:11,667 Not a bad offer. 673 00:53:13,375 --> 00:53:20,250 All right. But only if she cries on him for at least 30 seconds. 674 00:53:20,292 --> 00:53:22,662 She can cry for 10 minutes for all I care. 675 00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:25,958 Sit down for a second. III even throw in a bonus. 676 00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:31,458 Remember how Tyler reincarnates as a baby? 677 00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:34,500 The part about his New Life? 678 00:53:34,792 --> 00:53:38,792 For another 500,000, I guarantee the baby recognizes only her! 679 00:53:40,958 --> 00:53:43,037 The first word it says will be her name! 680 00:53:43,042 --> 00:53:44,203 Your name? 681 00:53:44,208 --> 00:53:46,953 Nina. 682 00:53:46,958 --> 00:53:50,667 Nina's better off as Mr. Zhang's midnight snack. 683 00:53:52,792 --> 00:53:56,083 If he's spending money, we should make him famous. 684 00:53:56,250 --> 00:53:59,083 Some plastic surgery, dye your hair blond, 685 00:53:59,208 --> 00:54:02,167 you can come as Tyler's bastard son. 686 00:54:02,917 --> 00:54:06,917 Mr. Zhang! You don't like that idea? We can discuss it. 687 00:54:07,625 --> 00:54:09,958 But the concept does have its merits... 688 00:54:11,250 --> 00:54:13,000 Why'd you do that? 689 00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:17,083 I find an investor and you pull a stunt like that? 690 00:54:17,125 --> 00:54:19,995 His conditions were outrageous. 691 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,537 It would ruin Tyler's reputation. 692 00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,245 So what? 693 00:54:23,250 --> 00:54:25,578 You know what filmmakers are like! 694 00:54:25,583 --> 00:54:29,583 They'll sleep with anybody! Everyone knows that. 695 00:54:30,042 --> 00:54:32,662 If that's too much, then what isn't? 696 00:54:32,667 --> 00:54:35,162 Why throw money away at your funeral? 697 00:54:35,167 --> 00:54:36,745 They expect a return! 698 00:54:36,750 --> 00:54:38,745 No one's losing money. 699 00:54:38,750 --> 00:54:42,412 It's like the Olympics: a brand-building opportunity! 700 00:54:42,417 --> 00:54:43,703 Who wouldn't love to say, 701 00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:45,787 “Our company sponsored Tyler's funeral”? 702 00:54:45,792 --> 00:54:48,120 It's a kind of intangible assets. 703 00:54:48,125 --> 00:54:50,495 How will you do that? 704 00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:53,078 Hang banners at the funeral? 705 00:54:53,083 --> 00:54:55,662 Print logos on the invitation? 706 00:54:55,667 --> 00:54:58,662 Sell airtime? That's your idea? 707 00:54:58,667 --> 00:55:00,208 -You wanna do that? -Yes. 708 00:55:01,208 --> 00:55:04,578 If the sponsor's brand is worthy of Tyler's reputation! 709 00:55:04,583 --> 00:55:11,625 If Kodak and Microsoft give us money, big money, they can wallpaper the place! 710 00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,000 Something like: "Tyler's friends bring you..." 711 00:55:17,833 --> 00:55:22,125 Not "Sponsored by, "but "Lovingly dedicated." 712 00:55:22,958 --> 00:55:25,037 “Dedicated” isn't right. 713 00:55:25,042 --> 00:55:26,703 “Lovingly brought.” “Lovingly sent.” 714 00:55:26,708 --> 00:55:29,458 - “Lovingly brought.” - “Lovingly brought.” 715 00:55:29,583 --> 00:55:32,203 “Lovingly sent.” 716 00:55:32,208 --> 00:55:35,328 And I'm not interested in small fish. 717 00:55:35,333 --> 00:55:38,875 Fortune 500 only. 718 00:55:41,875 --> 00:55:44,708 - You can't park here. - I'm leaving. 719 00:55:45,542 --> 00:55:48,875 Isn't this disrespectful of Tyler? 720 00:55:50,125 --> 00:55:52,208 No, it's good business. 721 00:55:59,625 --> 00:56:00,787 Let me introduce you. 722 00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:02,792 This is the president of Sogou network, 723 00:56:02,917 --> 00:56:04,370 Hello, this is my business card. 724 00:56:04,375 --> 00:56:05,912 This is Lucy. 725 00:56:05,917 --> 00:56:07,287 - This is Yoyo. - I don't have a business card. 726 00:56:07,292 --> 00:56:09,203 You have Tyler, you don't need a business card. 727 00:56:09,208 --> 00:56:10,162 Have a seat. 728 00:56:10,167 --> 00:56:12,167 - Sougou Network? - Yep. 729 00:56:12,375 --> 00:56:13,828 Is Sogou and Sohu the same company? 730 00:56:13,833 --> 00:56:15,162 They're “sohu” and we're “sogou”. 731 00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:16,995 We ‘So” different things. 732 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,662 Sogou plans to go public in the US recently, 733 00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:22,162 Their advertisements are everywhere. 734 00:56:22,167 --> 00:56:23,458 Have you seen it? 735 00:56:23,500 --> 00:56:25,208 That's the sign. Oh, Not that one. 736 00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:27,292 This one. 737 00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:31,870 It's look familiar, I thought it was the dog rope company. 738 00:56:31,875 --> 00:56:34,328 They plan to coorperate with us. 739 00:56:34,333 --> 00:56:36,287 To reform the funeral, 740 00:56:36,292 --> 00:56:37,912 Break with traditional ideas, 741 00:56:37,917 --> 00:56:39,787 Break the old funeral form, 742 00:56:39,792 --> 00:56:43,792 Make it more suitable for the strategy of economic development in the 21st century. 743 00:56:46,750 --> 00:56:48,208 Not... not strategy, 744 00:56:48,542 --> 00:56:49,620 What's the word for that? 745 00:56:49,625 --> 00:56:51,453 In fact, this is a new economic model, 746 00:56:51,458 --> 00:56:54,120 We call this new economic model as: 747 00:56:54,125 --> 00:56:56,828 “As an outstanding personality, death is also a male ghost.” 748 00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,870 I don't understand. 749 00:56:58,875 --> 00:57:01,245 This model was from your mouth. 750 00:57:01,250 --> 00:57:03,953 Fully excavate the economic potential of funeral, 751 00:57:03,958 --> 00:57:05,828 - and pursue the benefit. - That's right. 752 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:08,042 How much would you bid to purchase our authorization? 753 00:57:08,417 --> 00:57:10,995 Many people are concerning this stuff. 754 00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:12,620 A lot of websites are contacting us. 755 00:57:12,625 --> 00:57:15,917 Exactly. I can't even turn on my phone. 756 00:57:16,125 --> 00:57:19,162 If you agree, we will provide a free advertising business... 757 00:57:19,167 --> 00:57:22,458 ...for Tyler's funeral in Sogou business website. 758 00:57:22,500 --> 00:57:24,912 Makes the funeral of celebrities become a new window 759 00:57:24,917 --> 00:57:27,417 and platform for releasing famous and excellent new products, 760 00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:29,917 In turn for our authorization. 761 00:57:30,208 --> 00:57:33,703 If we agree, we can also put funeral public on the market, 762 00:57:33,708 --> 00:57:35,578 Use the shareholders'money for the funeral, 763 00:57:35,583 --> 00:57:38,412 Use the income of funeral advertising, in turn, makes the stock appreciate 764 00:57:38,417 --> 00:57:40,662 By the way, figure out how much money you two can make. 765 00:57:40,667 --> 00:57:43,495 Not just you two, plus me. 766 00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:44,912 It should be “you three”. 767 00:57:44,917 --> 00:57:46,208 What do you think? 768 00:57:54,125 --> 00:57:56,500 She must think I'm a mercenary. 769 00:57:57,333 --> 00:57:58,875 You are not? 770 00:57:59,542 --> 00:58:01,828 So who are you? Sage? 771 00:58:01,833 --> 00:58:03,953 I'm the legal person of the funeral. 772 00:58:03,958 --> 00:58:05,370 Do you know what is legal person? 773 00:58:05,375 --> 00:58:07,750 The person who is brought to justice. 774 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,750 Wait, for goodness'sake, you should make it. 775 00:58:10,208 --> 00:58:12,292 This is our rare chance of lifetime. 776 00:58:12,667 --> 00:58:15,703 Besides, this is fundamentally Tyler's personality. 777 00:58:15,708 --> 00:58:19,370 If we want to do, then do the great things. 778 00:58:19,375 --> 00:58:21,375 That's what makes him different from us. 779 00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:24,828 And you should read this, 780 00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:26,375 Learn from his ideas, 781 00:58:26,458 --> 00:58:29,203 Really learn his spiritual essence. 782 00:58:29,208 --> 00:58:31,120 The reason he can be the movie master, 783 00:58:31,125 --> 00:58:32,787 Just two words: 784 00:58:32,792 --> 00:58:35,333 Eccentric, grandstanding. 785 00:58:43,208 --> 00:58:45,000 Thanks. 786 00:59:04,417 --> 00:59:06,000 Thank you, Father. 787 00:59:30,625 --> 00:59:35,458 All right, all right. All right, sweetheart. Okay. 788 00:59:35,542 --> 00:59:37,042 You all right? 789 00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:42,042 Well, thank God we got the old devil back. 790 00:59:42,125 --> 00:59:45,375 Yeah, but he won't let me tell Yo Yo he's recovered. 791 00:59:45,667 --> 00:59:49,208 Did you know they're using his funeral to sell advertising? 792 00:59:50,958 --> 00:59:52,995 He doesn't want to stop them. 793 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,078 He likes the whole thing. 794 00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:58,370 He said it wasn't what he expected, but even better. 795 00:59:58,375 --> 01:00:01,828 By the sound of it, it sounds interesting. 796 01:00:01,833 --> 01:00:04,287 Almost like a French farce. 797 01:00:04,292 --> 01:00:06,745 Yo Yo and Tyler are both scoundrels. 798 01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:11,167 And scoundrels, you never know which card they're going to play. 799 01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:14,370 I have no idea how this crazy mess will end up. 800 01:00:14,375 --> 01:00:16,745 Only God and Hitchcock know that. 801 01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:20,750 We may see two possibilities, but never the third. That's suspense. 802 01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:23,328 Start from the angel. 803 01:00:23,333 --> 01:00:27,333 Five, four, three, two, one. And you're on. 804 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:34,375 This is Victor Lee reporting live from downtown Beijing with an amazing exclusive. 805 01:00:34,417 --> 01:00:36,495 It's 9 a.m. local time, 806 01:00:36,500 --> 01:00:40,500 you must stop what you're doing to watch the latest development... 807 01:00:40,875 --> 01:00:44,583 of the incredible story of Don Tyler's funeral. 808 01:00:56,750 --> 01:01:01,750 Ladies and gentleman. We have just entered a new century... 809 01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:05,917 ...and Hollywood's most colorful director, Don Tyler... 810 01:01:06,208 --> 01:01:10,208 ...has given his Chinese friend the right to organize in China a most remarkable funeral. 811 01:01:13,458 --> 01:01:19,000 At the funeral, advertisers will be allowed to make product placements. 812 01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:23,292 Today, the world's largest advertisers are here 813 01:01:23,875 --> 01:01:27,917 to participate in an auction of those ad spots. 814 01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:34,125 Not surprisingly, the competition will be ferocious... 815 01:01:34,583 --> 01:01:38,203 ...with prices expected to go sky-high. 816 01:01:38,208 --> 01:01:40,037 Yes, sir! 817 01:01:40,042 --> 01:01:41,708 No! Hey, hey, hey. 818 01:01:42,542 --> 01:01:45,250 They really are selling you. Aren't you angry? 819 01:01:45,417 --> 01:01:47,792 Tony. Do you think he should be watching this? 820 01:01:48,375 --> 01:01:50,162 We should end this. 821 01:01:50,167 --> 01:01:54,167 This is my medicine. This is the best show I've seen on TV. 822 01:01:54,333 --> 01:01:56,995 This is absurd. This is really crazy. 823 01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,500 This is the theater of the absurd. 824 01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:04,542 This kid's wonderful. I knew it then, but he's brilliant, Yo Yo. 825 01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:08,287 Call the network. We should get paid for this. 826 01:02:08,292 --> 01:02:11,912 It's much better than that Survivor crap at home. 827 01:02:11,917 --> 01:02:13,708 ...prices high! 828 01:02:16,208 --> 01:02:17,667 What'd you just say? 829 01:02:17,792 --> 01:02:21,208 I have no idea. You're up. 830 01:02:22,500 --> 01:02:26,500 Now I would like to invite the organizer of Tyler's funeral... 831 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:32,458 ...Mr.YoYo, to explain the rules of the auction. 832 01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:42,370 In accordance with Tyler's last wishes... 833 01:02:42,375 --> 01:02:46,375 ...the advertising space will be divided into three areas: 834 01:02:46,833 --> 01:02:50,833 On-site signage, funeral platform placements and rotating billboards. 835 01:02:55,208 --> 01:03:02,667 We'll start by auctioning the billboards. 836 01:03:07,708 --> 01:03:10,458 I hereby declare the proceedings open! 837 01:03:10,542 --> 01:03:18,042 For rotating billboard number one, well begin at $100, 000! 838 01:03:18,417 --> 01:03:21,037 I have a bidder! $100,000. $200,000. $300,000. 839 01:03:21,042 --> 01:03:22,453 $400,000. $500,000. $600,000. 840 01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,328 $700,000. $800,000. $900,000. 841 01:03:24,333 --> 01:03:27,495 One million! One million, going once! 842 01:03:27,500 --> 01:03:29,828 One million, twice! 843 01:03:29,833 --> 01:03:32,583 One million, three times! 844 01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:35,333 Sold! 845 01:03:50,542 --> 01:03:53,167 Oh, what shit! 846 01:03:57,750 --> 01:04:00,245 This is a beautiful image. 847 01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:02,792 It's like I can smell it. 848 01:04:03,167 --> 01:04:06,167 I'd love to get my teeth into one of those. 849 01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:07,958 Sold! 850 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:22,000 At the organizer's request, Love Island DVD's bid is disqualified. 851 01:04:22,042 --> 01:04:24,000 - Be cool! - What's going on? 852 01:04:24,042 --> 01:04:25,953 The last bid is voided. 853 01:04:25,958 --> 01:04:30,542 Wait! Why? I demand an explanation! 854 01:04:32,042 --> 01:04:36,042 Your player reads low-quality DVDs, right? 855 01:04:36,667 --> 01:04:40,120 Our Super Error Correction made us the market leader! 856 01:04:40,125 --> 01:04:42,120 Love Island reads DVDs of any quality! 857 01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:46,125 I'm sorry. We can't accept your money. 858 01:04:46,833 --> 01:04:48,537 Why not? 859 01:04:48,542 --> 01:04:49,870 He's kidding! 860 01:04:49,875 --> 01:04:52,037 Super Error Correction is piracy! 861 01:04:52,042 --> 01:04:53,662 Legal DVDs don't have errors! 862 01:04:53,667 --> 01:04:57,667 TV networks run our ads. Why not you? 863 01:04:58,042 --> 01:05:00,120 That's unfair competition! 864 01:05:00,125 --> 01:05:02,662 Tell it to the TV stations! 865 01:05:02,667 --> 01:05:05,458 Personally, I hope you go bankrupt! 866 01:05:05,958 --> 01:05:15,042 I hereby declare that billboard three is reserved for a public service message! 867 01:05:18,167 --> 01:05:22,083 FIGHT VIDEO PIRACY 868 01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:38,787 Who gave you the right to do that? 869 01:05:38,792 --> 01:05:42,792 This happens again, I'll rip your damn head off! 870 01:05:43,500 --> 01:05:45,208 Hear me? 871 01:05:46,833 --> 01:05:50,833 Who do you think you're talking to? 872 01:05:52,542 --> 01:05:55,745 Listen up! I am in charge here, not you! 873 01:05:55,750 --> 01:05:58,208 You'll get your money! 874 01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:02,375 But shoot your mouth off again, it'll be your funeral! 875 01:06:03,958 --> 01:06:06,000 Money-grubbing weasel! 876 01:06:17,417 --> 01:06:21,417 Is video piracy more unethical than advertising at funerals? 877 01:06:21,542 --> 01:06:25,245 Funeral advertising is profiting by stealing from oneself. 878 01:06:25,250 --> 01:06:28,583 Video pirates profit by stealing from others. 879 01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:32,750 I never expected a bum like him to know about protecting intellectual property. 880 01:06:32,875 --> 01:06:35,870 You can bet he's got a lot of surprises. 881 01:06:35,875 --> 01:06:37,875 I told you he's a genius. 882 01:06:38,042 --> 01:06:42,042 His imagination is boundless and he has the principles to contain it. 883 01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:46,245 That bastard just cost us a stack of money. 884 01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:48,828 Does that monster think he's an angel? 885 01:06:48,833 --> 01:06:51,453 He booked a one-way ticket to hell. 886 01:06:51,458 --> 01:06:52,787 But that's how he is. 887 01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:54,828 Mostly, he seems like a devil, 888 01:06:54,833 --> 01:06:56,875 but sometimes he's an angel. 889 01:06:57,667 --> 01:06:59,750 Oh, sweetie, you're in love with him. 890 01:07:00,708 --> 01:07:03,203 In your dreams. I'd rather go to hell. 891 01:07:03,208 --> 01:07:05,417 Good move, we'll all be there. 892 01:07:05,458 --> 01:07:09,078 Yo Yo for sure. Tony, wouldn't be caught dead anywhere else. 893 01:07:09,083 --> 01:07:12,370 Of course. I don't know anybody in heaven. 894 01:07:12,375 --> 01:07:14,375 All my friends are in hell. 895 01:07:14,458 --> 01:07:17,000 And now poor Lucy will be there too. 896 01:07:17,125 --> 01:07:19,745 Go see your sweetheart. 897 01:07:19,750 --> 01:07:22,333 Give him Tyler's bank account information. 898 01:07:22,375 --> 01:07:26,375 I don't want to see that money disappear into the wrong account. 899 01:07:26,708 --> 01:07:29,745 What I want to know is what you intend to do. 900 01:07:29,750 --> 01:07:31,292 It's still too soon. 901 01:07:31,667 --> 01:07:34,037 When it's settled, I'll let you in on it. 902 01:07:34,042 --> 01:07:37,417 But I'm not leaving the kid out to dry. That I assure you. 903 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,495 This is NB with a special report. 904 01:07:40,500 --> 01:07:44,203 Next up, live interviews on the Tyler funeral. 905 01:07:44,208 --> 01:07:47,833 What's your opinion about selling ads at funerals? 906 01:07:48,125 --> 01:07:49,870 Who cares? It's his business. 907 01:07:49,875 --> 01:07:53,328 Is it disrespectful of the dead? 908 01:07:53,333 --> 01:07:57,333 Giving a person what he asks for is the highest form of respect. 909 01:07:58,667 --> 01:08:00,958 Now you're talking! 910 01:08:02,042 --> 01:08:03,120 What? 911 01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,370 Do you support this concept? 912 01:08:05,375 --> 01:08:08,328 I've got three words: “One man's glory, another man's shame.” 913 01:08:08,333 --> 01:08:09,787 Do you know who Tyler is? 914 01:08:09,792 --> 01:08:12,037 “One man's glory, another man's shame.” 915 01:08:12,042 --> 01:08:15,287 Three words, my ass! That's six! 916 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:17,833 What do you think about a comedy funeral? 917 01:08:18,292 --> 01:08:20,375 A what? 918 01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:21,667 Shee-sahng. 919 01:08:23,708 --> 01:08:25,208 A sauna? 920 01:08:26,667 --> 01:08:29,875 Bet he's never even seen a sauna! 921 01:08:32,333 --> 01:08:35,875 Congratulations. You're a big celebrity now. 922 01:08:37,042 --> 01:08:38,917 Is Tyler...? 923 01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:43,208 The doctor says we can pull the plug anytime. 924 01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:45,333 But I cant do it. 925 01:08:45,750 --> 01:08:48,620 He's still alive. Disappointed? 926 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:52,625 With all the ads I sold, are you disappointed? 927 01:09:00,542 --> 01:09:04,375 - He's back again. - I thought he just left. 928 01:09:10,083 --> 01:09:13,125 It's not a bust to be a woman. 929 01:09:14,458 --> 01:09:15,833 What does that mean? 930 01:09:22,042 --> 01:09:27,000 How many times have I told you? 931 01:09:27,792 --> 01:09:29,417 Is it really that hard? 932 01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:35,833 First, “Please restrain your grief.” Then the product slogan. 933 01:09:37,125 --> 01:09:40,292 One more time. One, two, three. 934 01:09:40,458 --> 01:09:44,000 Please restrain your grief. It's not a bust to be a woman. 935 01:09:44,125 --> 01:09:46,000 It's a breast cream ad. 936 01:09:49,917 --> 01:09:53,078 The guests enter under the balloons. 937 01:09:53,083 --> 01:09:55,537 Each balloon is sponsored. 938 01:09:55,542 --> 01:09:57,287 Hey, where are my ads? 939 01:09:57,292 --> 01:09:59,417 We're working on it. 940 01:09:59,583 --> 01:10:04,833 A Korean cosmetics company snatched up the balloon ads. 941 01:10:06,958 --> 01:10:09,912 Up! Okay, good! 942 01:10:09,917 --> 01:10:12,162 All the liquor companies wanted in. 943 01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:14,750 Bad News Beer finally won the bid. 944 01:10:14,833 --> 01:10:18,037 “The Official Drink of Tyler's Funeral.” 945 01:10:18,042 --> 01:10:20,292 Watch their sales skyrocket! 946 01:10:20,833 --> 01:10:22,750 Insane! 947 01:10:25,125 --> 01:10:29,375 - This is the funeral platform. - What's with the furniture? 948 01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:34,208 - Louis! - Coming. 949 01:10:35,333 --> 01:10:37,458 Good thing you're here. 950 01:10:37,625 --> 01:10:42,500 Our clients requested a few changes on the platform. 951 01:10:43,542 --> 01:10:46,453 This junk is all famous-brand Italian furniture. 952 01:10:46,458 --> 01:10:50,458 They wanted Tyler resting peacefully on this lovely bed. 953 01:10:52,417 --> 01:10:56,625 Like he's taking a long nap, not dead. 954 01:10:57,125 --> 01:11:00,370 That's a big placement. Did they pay? 955 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:04,375 I was waiting for your approval. 956 01:11:04,417 --> 01:11:05,828 It's a nice chunk of change. 957 01:11:05,833 --> 01:11:07,208 Close the deal. 958 01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:12,333 Later, we can hawk it at Sotheby's as a “Tyler antique.” 959 01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:15,167 What's the news from the drill team? 960 01:11:16,208 --> 01:11:19,583 Just called. Awaiting our inspection. 961 01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,375 How much time does Mr.Tyler have left? 962 01:11:22,417 --> 01:11:25,078 The machines are keeping him alive, He may die any time. 963 01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:27,458 - It's right, Lucy? - What do you mean “Yanqi”? 964 01:11:27,917 --> 01:11:31,037 Stop breathing, in your words, “over”. 965 01:11:31,042 --> 01:11:33,995 You guys want him dead fast. 966 01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,453 I hope Tyler holds out one more week... 967 01:11:36,458 --> 01:11:38,245 Please don't die until I finished the work 968 01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,037 After that, anytime is okay. 969 01:11:40,042 --> 01:11:42,662 Let's get Dongzhi to sponsor the freezer. 970 01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:44,162 Ask them to give us the latest one. 971 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:45,912 It's not just about freshnessalso defrosts. 972 01:11:45,917 --> 01:11:48,208 How else am I going to get them in. 973 01:11:51,833 --> 01:11:57,292 A huge blimp will be flying overhead filming this part. 974 01:11:58,208 --> 01:12:02,208 We sold the space to a French airline. 975 01:12:02,542 --> 01:12:06,542 And they paid through the croissant for it. 976 01:12:07,292 --> 01:12:10,662 We were pretty rushed. It's still a little rough. 977 01:12:10,667 --> 01:12:13,583 Attention, everyone! 978 01:12:14,167 --> 01:12:15,667 Positions! 979 01:12:16,208 --> 01:12:18,583 First formation! 980 01:12:19,708 --> 01:12:21,542 Add the “TV”! 981 01:12:22,625 --> 01:12:25,708 Why do you keep adding more crap? 982 01:12:26,083 --> 01:12:27,625 Stand by! 983 01:12:30,417 --> 01:12:33,662 I forgot to tell you. I had a great idea. 984 01:12:33,667 --> 01:12:36,162 You know that VJ, David Wu? 985 01:12:36,167 --> 01:12:39,245 He's got a great style. 986 01:12:39,250 --> 01:12:41,912 A VJ would really spice things up. 987 01:12:41,917 --> 01:12:45,370 David Wu is fine, but just hire him! 988 01:12:45,375 --> 01:12:47,500 Quit trying to turn everything into a scheme. 989 01:12:48,208 --> 01:12:49,578 Continue! 990 01:12:49,583 --> 01:12:51,203 Since we have the idea, 991 01:12:51,208 --> 01:12:53,537 let's just make him an offer. 992 01:12:53,542 --> 01:12:55,245 Maybe he'll agree. 993 01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:57,037 What's the next formation? 994 01:12:57,042 --> 01:12:59,208 Who's in charge here? 995 01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:02,292 From now on, we both are. 996 01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,125 This one's a cigarette ad. 997 01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:07,370 Listen up! 998 01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,000 Ready! 999 01:13:09,208 --> 01:13:11,208 Second formation! 1000 01:13:13,333 --> 01:13:15,037 You're wasting time with cigarettes. 1001 01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:18,620 If you get fined, don't blame me. 1002 01:13:18,625 --> 01:13:20,828 We only mention the logo. 1003 01:13:20,833 --> 01:13:22,995 They may think it's a slot machine ad. 1004 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:24,953 You think they're stupid? 1005 01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:27,162 They'll just pull the whole lot. 1006 01:13:27,167 --> 01:13:28,792 Stand by! 1007 01:13:31,375 --> 01:13:33,208 We can add a banner: 1008 01:13:34,083 --> 01:13:37,750 “No Smoking At The Funeral. And That Includes 666!” 1009 01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,120 You're really wasting your talent here. 1010 01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:42,412 You should running the Olympics. 1011 01:13:42,417 --> 01:13:43,370 What did she say? 1012 01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:47,375 We're wasting our talent and should run the Olympics. 1013 01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:50,120 Is that an insult? 1014 01:13:50,125 --> 01:13:52,167 That's a compliment, right? 1015 01:13:53,667 --> 01:13:56,828 You've worked hard to make a profit. 1016 01:13:56,833 --> 01:13:58,870 How will you spend the money? 1017 01:13:58,875 --> 01:14:02,875 Originally, I just wanted to cover the costs. 1018 01:14:03,292 --> 01:14:06,828 If there was anything left over, I'd pay off Tyler's debts. 1019 01:14:06,833 --> 01:14:09,870 But the money kept piling up. 1020 01:14:09,875 --> 01:14:12,578 Of course, I'll take care of Louis. 1021 01:14:12,583 --> 01:14:15,037 And you, for your devotion to Tyler. 1022 01:14:15,042 --> 01:14:19,042 You weren't going to take some for yourself? 1023 01:14:19,375 --> 01:14:23,375 First, III pay off the funeral and donate the rest to charity. 1024 01:14:25,583 --> 01:14:27,537 You always said I just wanted money. 1025 01:14:27,542 --> 01:14:30,870 I'm giving it away. How about that? 1026 01:14:30,875 --> 01:14:33,370 - To who? - That's my problem. 1027 01:14:33,375 --> 01:14:37,375 Perhaps Ethiopian disaster victims, or the pandas. 1028 01:14:37,583 --> 01:14:40,542 Would Tyler give it to people or animals? 1029 01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:43,500 - People. - Yeah, that's what I thought. 1030 01:14:54,750 --> 01:14:58,750 This is absolutely brilliant. The kid's feeling pure terror. 1031 01:14:59,042 --> 01:15:03,042 He's up in the air with no visible means of support. 1032 01:15:03,375 --> 01:15:05,953 To save himself, he has to fly. 1033 01:15:05,958 --> 01:15:08,828 But he has self-doubt and is unsure if he can. 1034 01:15:08,833 --> 01:15:12,833 But he will. He must stop thinking about it or he'll crash. 1035 01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:16,833 He'll fly, do loop-the-loops. It's sensational. 1036 01:15:17,167 --> 01:15:20,328 I don't like him being toyed with. 1037 01:15:20,333 --> 01:15:22,037 I think it's time we told him the truth. 1038 01:15:22,042 --> 01:15:25,453 You're wrong. I'm not toying with him. 1039 01:15:25,458 --> 01:15:28,245 But there's an idea here. A great idea for me. 1040 01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:31,208 You can't tell him. Promise me you won't. 1041 01:15:32,125 --> 01:15:35,500 He could come to the hospital at any time and bust us. 1042 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,375 Yeah, you're right. I should be moved somewhere else. 1043 01:15:50,208 --> 01:15:51,500 Yo Yo. 1044 01:15:52,250 --> 01:15:56,250 You got room for one more ad? 1045 01:15:56,333 --> 01:15:59,083 This hearse was a great idea. 1046 01:15:59,167 --> 01:16:01,875 Everyone wants a piece. 1047 01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:06,833 No can do. A watch company took the tailgate. 1048 01:16:07,125 --> 01:16:09,500 It's full up. Only thing left is the hood. 1049 01:16:10,917 --> 01:16:14,917 - Sold out in one afternoon. - Stick it here. 1050 01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,287 The hood! I want it. 1051 01:16:17,292 --> 01:16:18,745 For who? 1052 01:16:18,750 --> 01:16:22,578 Starmaker Music. 1053 01:16:22,583 --> 01:16:24,750 The boss is an old buddy. 1054 01:16:24,875 --> 01:16:28,125 We'll get his top singers for free. 1055 01:16:28,583 --> 01:16:30,333 They're all huge stars. 1056 01:16:30,458 --> 01:16:31,500 Know that TV theme song... 1057 01:16:33,750 --> 01:16:35,995 ...“Don't Come Back!”? 1058 01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:38,078 The one where he sobs? 1059 01:16:38,083 --> 01:16:40,912 It's perfect for us. 1060 01:16:40,917 --> 01:16:43,828 Li Nan can sing from the roof of the truck. 1061 01:16:43,833 --> 01:16:46,162 Always working an angle. 1062 01:16:46,167 --> 01:16:49,912 You're using the funeral to kiss friends' asses. 1063 01:16:49,917 --> 01:16:52,328 Even though I already paid for those singers. 1064 01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:53,417 And another thing: 1065 01:16:54,125 --> 01:16:57,828 This hearse isn't going straight to the venue. 1066 01:16:57,833 --> 01:17:00,662 Where's it going? The car wash? 1067 01:17:00,667 --> 01:17:04,667 Advertisers want it to circle the city a few times first. 1068 01:17:06,417 --> 01:17:08,662 Give them more exposure. 1069 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:11,787 So Li Nan can't bitch about too much sun. 1070 01:17:11,792 --> 01:17:13,537 Okay, Scrooge. 1071 01:17:13,542 --> 01:17:16,162 I'll buy him a big sombrero. 1072 01:17:16,167 --> 01:17:17,953 If all you care about is money, 1073 01:17:17,958 --> 01:17:19,870 get him a brand-name suit. 1074 01:17:19,875 --> 01:17:23,875 He looks disgraceful in shorts and a tank top. 1075 01:17:23,958 --> 01:17:27,412 I beg to differ. He looks like an athlete. 1076 01:17:27,417 --> 01:17:32,125 A sports lover. A picture of health! 1077 01:17:32,875 --> 01:17:34,370 Yeah, healthy for a dead person. 1078 01:17:34,375 --> 01:17:37,745 Looks like he's taking a power nap. 1079 01:17:37,750 --> 01:17:41,917 The sportswear sold for twice as much as the suits. 1080 01:17:42,042 --> 01:17:43,917 We've come this far. 1081 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:47,912 Might as well squeeze every drop. 1082 01:17:47,917 --> 01:17:51,375 We're done with Game Reaper sportswear. What's next? 1083 01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:54,250 One Time Thief watch. 1084 01:17:54,417 --> 01:17:57,537 One Epiphany & Sons gold necklace. 1085 01:17:57,542 --> 01:17:59,537 One PaceMaker running shoe. 1086 01:17:59,542 --> 01:18:02,328 - Left or right foot? - Left. 1087 01:18:02,333 --> 01:18:06,125 On the right, one Flying Sole leather dress shoe. 1088 01:18:07,083 --> 01:18:10,000 One pair of Traitor sunglasses. 1089 01:18:12,083 --> 01:18:13,828 Why are you taking the lens out? 1090 01:18:13,833 --> 01:18:17,120 This one belongs to a contact lens company. 1091 01:18:17,125 --> 01:18:19,412 Traditionally, the eyes are closed. 1092 01:18:19,417 --> 01:18:21,833 Contractually, this one stays open. 1093 01:18:23,125 --> 01:18:27,125 When he passed on, Tyler still had much to accomplish. 1094 01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:31,708 One eye holding out until the end is symbolic. 1095 01:18:31,750 --> 01:18:35,375 One bag of Magic Wake tea. Where does that go? 1096 01:18:45,917 --> 01:18:49,578 Such an important spot. We should up the fee 50%. 1097 01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:52,995 Remember to have the TV guys do close-ups... 1098 01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:56,620 ...on the tea bag and contact lens. 1099 01:18:56,625 --> 01:19:00,370 - Five seconds each. - Okay. 1100 01:19:00,375 --> 01:19:03,500 - What's next? - Feisi shampoo. 1101 01:19:07,167 --> 01:19:09,958 Isn't this overkill? 1102 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,375 Let's hear the ad copy. 1103 01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:20,870 “One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1104 01:19:20,875 --> 01:19:24,000 The other side didn't. See the difference!” 1105 01:19:24,125 --> 01:19:26,578 “One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1106 01:19:26,583 --> 01:19:30,375 The other side didn't. See the difference!” 1107 01:19:33,083 --> 01:19:34,208 We can handle that. 1108 01:19:50,250 --> 01:19:51,958 One side used Snuff. No dandruff. 1109 01:19:52,250 --> 01:19:56,667 The other side didn't. See the difference! 1110 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:00,500 I can't see the difference. 1111 01:20:05,750 --> 01:20:08,578 - See it now? - Oh, come on! 1112 01:20:08,583 --> 01:20:10,625 You're totally hopeless. 1113 01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:14,917 I got Mr. Biao for you! 1114 01:20:16,375 --> 01:20:18,120 I just love your movies! 1115 01:20:18,125 --> 01:20:19,870 Doing another big holiday picture? 1116 01:20:19,875 --> 01:20:21,828 Let's not waste Mr. Biao's time. 1117 01:20:21,833 --> 01:20:25,537 He's got a TV show later. 1118 01:20:25,542 --> 01:20:27,495 Right. Louis probably explained this. 1119 01:20:27,500 --> 01:20:30,578 We need you to say one line. 1120 01:20:30,583 --> 01:20:33,375 Since you're busy, we'll just walk through it. 1121 01:20:33,417 --> 01:20:37,500 If it's just a rehearsal, I don't actually need to cry. 1122 01:20:37,792 --> 01:20:40,078 - Of course not. - Have him cry. 1123 01:20:40,083 --> 01:20:42,953 - I'm Biao, Beijing Film Studio. - I'm Lucy. 1124 01:20:42,958 --> 01:20:44,417 We need you to cry. 1125 01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:49,208 If you do it in character, well know what to expect. 1126 01:20:51,292 --> 01:20:54,578 At the real funeral, you can really let her rip. 1127 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:57,495 I'm at the final send-off, right? 1128 01:20:57,500 --> 01:20:59,953 You'll walk up with me. 1129 01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:01,870 We'll be surrounded by big stars. 1130 01:21:01,875 --> 01:21:03,787 You come just after Stallone. 1131 01:21:03,792 --> 01:21:06,625 - Shall we start? - A moment, please. 1132 01:22:08,625 --> 01:22:09,917 Tyler. 1133 01:22:11,833 --> 01:22:12,625 Tyler. 1134 01:22:18,250 --> 01:22:22,500 We Chinese actors began taking calcium supplements long ago. 1135 01:22:23,708 --> 01:22:27,708 But it was too late for you! 1136 01:22:29,292 --> 01:22:34,750 There wasn't time to share with our fellow artists in America! 1137 01:22:35,542 --> 01:22:41,875 But we were close! 1138 01:22:42,958 --> 01:22:44,662 So damn close! 1139 01:22:44,667 --> 01:22:48,917 It's the lack of calcium that killed you! 1140 01:22:51,333 --> 01:22:55,375 Truly a great actor. Cries on command. 1141 01:22:57,042 --> 01:22:58,370 Did that work for you? 1142 01:22:58,375 --> 01:23:01,167 Wouldn't cry that much if my dad died. 1143 01:23:02,292 --> 01:23:04,792 Wow, he felt more for Tyler than I did. 1144 01:23:04,833 --> 01:23:06,458 Bullshit. I paid him. 1145 01:23:14,708 --> 01:23:16,870 I can't wait any longer. 1146 01:23:16,875 --> 01:23:20,917 What am I going to do? 1147 01:23:21,750 --> 01:23:23,870 - Which one's Yo Yo? - What for? 1148 01:23:23,875 --> 01:23:27,162 Shut your goddamn trap! I asked for Yo Yo! 1149 01:23:27,167 --> 01:23:29,537 - What do you want? - Are you Lucy? 1150 01:23:29,542 --> 01:23:31,912 I'm Yo Yo. It's nothing to do with her. 1151 01:23:31,917 --> 01:23:34,953 Hell, yes, it does! 1152 01:23:34,958 --> 01:23:37,083 Our boss wants to talk to her. 1153 01:23:37,125 --> 01:23:39,703 Cut the mafia act. China doesn't have one! 1154 01:23:39,708 --> 01:23:41,745 If you have business, speak up. 1155 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:45,208 That's enough. Let's discuss this like gentlemen. 1156 01:23:45,625 --> 01:23:48,625 Show him. 1157 01:23:51,375 --> 01:23:53,703 Have you tried this mineral water? 1158 01:23:53,708 --> 01:23:55,787 Le Ha-Ha? Never heard of it. 1159 01:23:55,792 --> 01:23:56,995 I only know Wah Ha-Ha. 1160 01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:58,787 That's why I'm here. 1161 01:23:58,792 --> 01:24:02,792 I want mineral water drinkers everywhere to know Le Ha-Ha. 1162 01:24:03,250 --> 01:24:06,953 I heard this funeral is packed with big sponsors. 1163 01:24:06,958 --> 01:24:08,912 I want a spot for Le Ha-Ha. 1164 01:24:08,917 --> 01:24:10,417 I'll pay you well for it. 1165 01:24:12,375 --> 01:24:13,750 Come here. 1166 01:24:15,333 --> 01:24:16,250 See for yourself. 1167 01:24:16,792 --> 01:24:20,958 He's already fully sponsored. There's no space. 1168 01:24:21,083 --> 01:24:24,995 We had space on the hearse, but now everything's taken. 1169 01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:26,500 Not my problem. 1170 01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:29,375 Besides, I don't want to be mixed up with other ads. 1171 01:24:29,583 --> 01:24:32,703 You create an idea to set Le Ha-Ha apart. 1172 01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:36,250 Something innovative. 1173 01:24:36,333 --> 01:24:39,583 Give me a good concept. You can name your price. 1174 01:24:39,792 --> 01:24:42,370 If not, you can cancel the funeral. 1175 01:24:42,375 --> 01:24:44,120 Thank you very much! 1176 01:24:44,125 --> 01:24:46,745 Truth is, I hope it does get called off. 1177 01:24:46,750 --> 01:24:50,750 If you're serious, go ahead and tear whole place down! 1178 01:24:50,792 --> 01:24:53,333 A smart-ass, eh? Tear it down! 1179 01:24:53,708 --> 01:24:55,167 Be cool! 1180 01:25:19,583 --> 01:25:22,625 Why's this music so gloomy? 1181 01:25:22,667 --> 01:25:26,412 It's a funeral dirge. Gotta be gloomy to make people cry. 1182 01:25:26,417 --> 01:25:30,412 I don't like it. 1183 01:25:30,417 --> 01:25:33,625 Save it for Lucy's funeral. 1184 01:25:34,625 --> 01:25:36,662 Lucy's a nice girl. 1185 01:25:36,667 --> 01:25:39,125 For her sake, come up with something else. 1186 01:26:00,208 --> 01:26:02,162 Attention, everyone! 1187 01:26:02,167 --> 01:26:06,458 Let's try the same dirge, only with a happier feel. 1188 01:26:08,875 --> 01:26:12,667 At double the tempo! 1189 01:26:13,500 --> 01:26:16,458 One, two, three, four. 1190 01:26:56,292 --> 01:26:58,042 I don't get it. 1191 01:26:58,208 --> 01:27:02,208 If you're copying another product why spend so much on ads? 1192 01:27:02,625 --> 01:27:05,745 You don't understand capitalism. With enough advertising, 1193 01:27:05,750 --> 01:27:08,167 the fake becomes the real. 1194 01:27:12,875 --> 01:27:14,870 - Pay them. - Lucy, wait a sec! 1195 01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:16,495 Let's hear it again. 1196 01:27:16,500 --> 01:27:17,953 Everything's taken care of. 1197 01:27:17,958 --> 01:27:20,828 I don't wanna hear it anymore! I can't take it anymore! 1198 01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:23,620 Take your stupid funeral and go to hell! 1199 01:27:23,625 --> 01:27:26,037 Talk to Tyler. He woke up a while ago. 1200 01:27:26,042 --> 01:27:29,037 He and Tony wouldn't let me tell you. 1201 01:27:29,042 --> 01:27:32,208 But I can't keep up the act. They're playing with you. 1202 01:27:55,042 --> 01:27:59,042 Why, Tyler? Why did you put him in charge of your funeral? 1203 01:27:59,333 --> 01:28:03,333 Hey, one of first things that Confucius said was: 1204 01:28:04,083 --> 01:28:08,083 “Aren't friends from far away a joyful thing?” 1205 01:28:08,208 --> 01:28:10,537 For me, I think what he meant was: 1206 01:28:10,542 --> 01:28:14,537 “No, not necessarily. Not if you are truly lonely.” 1207 01:28:14,542 --> 01:28:18,083 - Thanks a lot. - This isn't about you and Tony. 1208 01:28:18,542 --> 01:28:19,958 This is about me. 1209 01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,662 Right, but look at where it's got you. 1210 01:28:23,667 --> 01:28:25,125 This is wonderful. 1211 01:28:25,417 --> 01:28:28,458 All the emperors had their funerals here. 1212 01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:32,500 Yo Yo was just trying to move me from mortal to immortal. 1213 01:28:32,667 --> 01:28:36,542 You don't think my soul would be good in a little baby girl? 1214 01:28:37,042 --> 01:28:40,787 It's not a joke, Tyler, it's embarrassing. 1215 01:28:40,792 --> 01:28:44,792 Yeah, well, I guess if I had actually died... 1216 01:28:45,458 --> 01:28:48,953 ...you guys wouldn't be happy with this, would you? 1217 01:28:48,958 --> 01:28:52,958 But you would have been remembered by all this... Damn it, Tyler! 1218 01:28:53,875 --> 01:28:57,875 After all you've done, your great work, to have this be your memorial? 1219 01:28:58,417 --> 01:29:02,417 But I'm still alive, sweetie. So in the grand scheme of things... 1220 01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:06,750 ...the Almighty was using Yo Yo and his brilliant creation... 1221 01:29:07,417 --> 01:29:09,412 ...for a totally different reason. 1222 01:29:09,417 --> 01:29:12,912 - Tyler, you used him. - I don't think so. 1223 01:29:12,917 --> 01:29:16,917 When you think about it, I wanted to stop directing. Why? 1224 01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:20,703 I thought everything I'd ever done was unworthy. 1225 01:29:20,708 --> 01:29:23,083 I just wanted to up and die. 1226 01:29:24,542 --> 01:29:26,453 I'd lost all faith in myself. 1227 01:29:26,458 --> 01:29:30,958 And that morning when I was making that film with Yo Yo. 1228 01:29:31,125 --> 01:29:35,125 All of a sudden everything turned blue. 1229 01:29:35,750 --> 01:29:39,750 I was in this pearl-blue tunnel, sweetie. 1230 01:29:40,250 --> 01:29:43,250 And way at the bottom of it, there was... 1231 01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:47,792 ...this white light beckoning to me and I was floating towards it. 1232 01:29:48,500 --> 01:29:53,083 But I could hear this voice up above me, calling. 1233 01:29:53,500 --> 01:29:55,125 Yelling at me: 1234 01:29:55,792 --> 01:29:57,792 “Hey, old man. 1235 01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,333 Don't go there. Come back. 1236 01:30:02,583 --> 01:30:04,917 You still have work to do.” 1237 01:30:05,917 --> 01:30:09,292 And I forced myself out of that coma. 1238 01:30:10,625 --> 01:30:12,875 And when I opened my eyes... 1239 01:30:13,667 --> 01:30:16,542 ...there, sitting in front of me, was... 1240 01:30:17,125 --> 01:30:21,167 ...this magical screenplay and the name of its author. 1241 01:30:21,875 --> 01:30:25,250 - YoYo? - Yo Yo, my man. 1242 01:30:25,542 --> 01:30:27,208 Messenger from heaven. 1243 01:30:27,292 --> 01:30:31,292 That's the real reason I asked him to arrange my funeral. 1244 01:30:31,375 --> 01:30:33,245 To save my life. 1245 01:30:33,250 --> 01:30:37,458 To give me this perfect movie to make. 1246 01:30:38,167 --> 01:30:39,667 He's my angel. 1247 01:30:41,542 --> 01:30:44,245 Your angel's going straight to hell... 1248 01:30:44,250 --> 01:30:47,750 ...if you don't do something to get him out of this mess. 1249 01:30:52,083 --> 01:30:54,662 When will the lousy old fart die? 1250 01:30:54,667 --> 01:30:56,833 Will he live until the next century? 1251 01:30:57,167 --> 01:30:58,745 If Tyler recovered, 1252 01:30:58,750 --> 01:31:02,245 Have you considered what we would do? 1253 01:31:02,250 --> 01:31:05,037 That's impossible! He has to die! 1254 01:31:05,042 --> 01:31:06,995 And if he doesn't, he better fake it! 1255 01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:10,495 Our clients don't care if the corpse is dead or alive. 1256 01:31:10,500 --> 01:31:13,620 They're only concerned about our advertising power! 1257 01:31:13,625 --> 01:31:17,042 YoYo, I hope you're joking. 1258 01:31:17,250 --> 01:31:20,412 What if I'm not? 1259 01:31:20,417 --> 01:31:21,167 Then... 1260 01:31:22,958 --> 01:31:25,250 ...I'II kill the goddamn bastard! 1261 01:31:34,292 --> 01:31:35,708 He recovered. 1262 01:31:51,042 --> 01:31:53,292 Are you comfortable here? 1263 01:31:53,417 --> 01:31:56,208 Can't afford to worry about comfort now. 1264 01:31:56,583 --> 01:31:58,662 Not enough time. 1265 01:31:58,667 --> 01:32:01,250 Just wish there were 48 hours in a day. 1266 01:32:02,500 --> 01:32:04,453 Where'd you disappear to? 1267 01:32:04,458 --> 01:32:08,458 Tried calling you everywhere. Many big decisions waiting on you. 1268 01:32:08,833 --> 01:32:11,120 I'm so busy with the new film, 1269 01:32:11,125 --> 01:32:13,042 I had no time to visit. 1270 01:32:13,292 --> 01:32:15,125 Are you angry? 1271 01:32:16,083 --> 01:32:20,167 Don't worry. We wouldn't abandon you here. 1272 01:32:20,583 --> 01:32:22,708 I'm not sick. Just tired. 1273 01:32:23,250 --> 01:32:26,792 I'll need a long vacation after the funeral's over. 1274 01:32:27,125 --> 01:32:30,458 Right now my mind is full of advertisements. 1275 01:32:30,792 --> 01:32:38,458 Since we IPOd our every move directly affects the NASDAQ. 1276 01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:42,042 Yo Yo. Tyler is fine. 1277 01:32:42,208 --> 01:32:44,917 There's no funeral. It's all over. 1278 01:32:47,750 --> 01:32:50,287 Why won't you believe me? 1279 01:32:50,292 --> 01:32:53,245 You don't have to worry about the advertisers. 1280 01:32:53,250 --> 01:32:56,120 Tyler pre-sold his funeral rights. 1281 01:32:56,125 --> 01:32:58,662 He loved your concept so much. 1282 01:32:58,667 --> 01:33:01,667 He's making it into a movie. 1283 01:33:01,875 --> 01:33:06,042 Really. Everything's settled. You've got to believe me. 1284 01:33:10,750 --> 01:33:14,792 Tyler's death was hard on you. 1285 01:33:15,000 --> 01:33:16,870 Must be hard to accept. 1286 01:33:16,875 --> 01:33:19,792 I feel the same way. 1287 01:33:20,208 --> 01:33:25,375 Which is why we have to give him a really successful funeral. 1288 01:33:25,833 --> 01:33:29,208 We can't dishonor his faith in us! Nor his trust. 1289 01:33:30,833 --> 01:33:33,417 I designed a sample invitation. 1290 01:33:33,667 --> 01:33:38,500 Internet CEOs and a real estate mogul are staying in this hotel... 1291 01:33:38,792 --> 01:33:40,958 ...all dying to advertise with us. 1292 01:33:41,250 --> 01:33:43,167 But there wasn't any space left. 1293 01:33:43,458 --> 01:33:48,250 So I got inspired and added an insert. 1294 01:33:48,958 --> 01:33:51,875 Have a look. If it works, we should print it right away. 1295 01:33:53,500 --> 01:33:55,542 Not much time left. 1296 01:33:56,333 --> 01:33:57,958 You like it? 1297 01:34:00,583 --> 01:34:04,250 The reason I came here was to check on your condition. 1298 01:34:05,042 --> 01:34:08,167 If you were better, I could take you home with me. 1299 01:34:09,292 --> 01:34:13,917 But the doctor says the treatment has been very conservative. 1300 01:34:14,042 --> 01:34:17,208 Pills, mostly. With no sign of progress. 1301 01:34:17,458 --> 01:34:23,250 So he recommended we try electroshock therapy. 1302 01:34:23,583 --> 01:34:27,792 Apparently, it's quite painful. 1303 01:34:28,750 --> 01:34:34,542 Afterwards, you'll pass out and go into spasms. 1304 01:34:35,667 --> 01:34:40,833 Treatment would be once a day for about 15 days. 1305 01:34:41,500 --> 01:34:44,792 If the results aren't promising, they'll try another round. 1306 01:34:45,958 --> 01:34:50,583 So the bastards finally got their dirty hands on me. 1307 01:35:04,333 --> 01:35:05,828 I must call Tyler! 1308 01:35:05,833 --> 01:35:07,417 He's taking me to America! 1309 01:35:07,500 --> 01:35:10,208 - I want him to take me now! - Thank God! 1310 01:35:10,792 --> 01:35:13,000 You believe he's still alive? 1311 01:35:16,417 --> 01:35:17,875 I was faking. 1312 01:35:18,042 --> 01:35:19,042 What?! 1313 01:35:19,917 --> 01:35:22,458 I feared the advertisers coming after me. 1314 01:35:25,042 --> 01:35:27,792 But Louis isn't faking. 1315 01:35:37,958 --> 01:35:40,000 It feels good! 1316 01:35:44,208 --> 01:35:47,578 The business of Chinese DVD industry has a great market. 1317 01:35:47,583 --> 01:35:51,583 I tell you, now China has 27 million DVD player, 1318 01:35:52,000 --> 01:35:56,000 each player will consume 10 DVD disks each year 1319 01:35:56,125 --> 01:35:59,245 for each DVD we collect 1 Yuan tax, 1320 01:35:59,250 --> 01:36:01,370 1 times 10 is 10 Yuan. 1321 01:36:01,375 --> 01:36:03,953 10 times 27 million 1322 01:36:03,958 --> 01:36:07,417 that's 270 million business! 270 million business, 1323 01:36:11,333 --> 01:36:14,453 You wanna do e-business? 1324 01:36:14,458 --> 01:36:15,828 You have to burn money for the website. 1325 01:36:15,833 --> 01:36:17,745 It is said: if you cannot give away your son, you cannot catch the wolf. 1326 01:36:17,750 --> 01:36:19,537 hire some website writer and pay them well, 1327 01:36:19,542 --> 01:36:21,620 and find some famous people to aim at, 1328 01:36:21,625 --> 01:36:23,120 see who is hot we shoot him, 1329 01:36:23,125 --> 01:36:25,162 what does website rely on? Hitting rate! 1330 01:36:25,167 --> 01:36:27,370 when the hitting rate is increased, the follower will come immediately, 1331 01:36:27,375 --> 01:36:29,203 No matter how much you spent on buying it, 1332 01:36:29,208 --> 01:36:31,412 add a zero behind and sell to the follower directly. 1333 01:36:31,417 --> 01:36:33,745 If someone wants to buy your web, ask for cash. 1334 01:36:33,750 --> 01:36:35,453 They wanna give you stock share? No way! 1335 01:36:35,458 --> 01:36:38,037 If you are interested, invest 8 to 10 million. 1336 01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,958 I can guarentee you, that your income will be greater than 100 million. 1337 01:36:41,000 --> 01:36:42,995 You have to pick the best gold spot, 1338 01:36:43,000 --> 01:36:44,370 I am talking US dollars! 1339 01:36:44,375 --> 01:36:46,078 hire a french designer, 1340 01:36:46,083 --> 01:36:48,708 build the highest class apartment. 1341 01:36:48,750 --> 01:36:50,203 Each apartment has their own elevator, 1342 01:36:50,208 --> 01:36:52,245 the smallest apartment model is 400 square meters. 1343 01:36:52,250 --> 01:36:54,953 Things like high-speed internet, fiber cable, satellite, 1344 01:36:54,958 --> 01:36:56,537 whatever can be connected just connect it. 1345 01:36:56,542 --> 01:36:59,078 On top of the building there is a garden, and inside there is swimming pooi. 1346 01:36:59,083 --> 01:37:00,870 A manager from England is always standing in the lobby, 1347 01:37:00,875 --> 01:37:03,787 wearing a wig, very gentleman, 1348 01:37:03,792 --> 01:37:05,995 when the housemaster comes in, no matter what, 1349 01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:07,787 he first asks “May I help you sir?” 1350 01:37:07,792 --> 01:37:09,703 with a pure London dialect. 1351 01:37:09,708 --> 01:37:11,245 You feel so proud! 1352 01:37:11,250 --> 01:37:14,120 Inside the community a private school will be built, 1353 01:37:14,125 --> 01:37:15,745 use Harvard's textbook 1354 01:37:15,750 --> 01:37:18,037 each year the tuition fee only will be tens of thousands of US dollars. 1355 01:37:18,042 --> 01:37:20,787 and build a US style clinic, open 24 hours. 1356 01:37:20,792 --> 01:37:22,703 only one word: Expensive! 1357 01:37:22,708 --> 01:37:25,412 A normal cold will cost you several thousand Yuan here. 1358 01:37:25,417 --> 01:37:27,787 The neighbours drives either BMW or Benz, 1359 01:37:27,792 --> 01:37:30,995 if you drive a Japanese car, you feel embarassed to say hello with them. 1360 01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:34,667 Guess, for such an apartment, how much it would be each square meter? 1361 01:37:35,083 --> 01:37:37,037 I think anyway it should be 2000 US$ or above. 1362 01:37:37,042 --> 01:37:39,745 2000? That is the cost! 1363 01:37:39,750 --> 01:37:41,495 Starting from 4000. 1364 01:37:41,500 --> 01:37:43,495 Don't feel expensive, there is no discount. 1365 01:37:43,500 --> 01:37:46,412 You have to study the psychology of the buyer 1366 01:37:46,417 --> 01:37:50,417 Those who wishes to pay $2000 doesn't care to spend $2000 more! 1367 01:37:50,792 --> 01:37:52,537 What is a successful man? 1368 01:37:52,542 --> 01:37:54,912 Successful man buys whatever is most expensive, 1369 01:37:54,917 --> 01:37:57,453 and not buy the best! 1370 01:37:57,458 --> 01:38:00,370 So our propaganda for real estate is: 1371 01:38:00,375 --> 01:38:02,125 Not necessarily the best, but definitely the most expensive! 1372 01:38:02,333 --> 01:38:04,208 Attention, please. 1373 01:38:04,583 --> 01:38:08,037 Ladies and gentlemen, 1374 01:38:08,042 --> 01:38:13,125 Now I declare, the signing ceremony officially begins. 1375 01:38:13,458 --> 01:38:15,583 I would like to invite Mr. Louis Wang from the Chinese side 1376 01:38:15,625 --> 01:38:19,625 and Mr. Volcker from the American side to the table. 1377 01:38:51,667 --> 01:38:53,958 Give them the medicine throughout this opportunity, 1378 01:38:54,000 --> 01:38:55,662 Let them think it's champagne. Hurry up. 1379 01:38:55,667 --> 01:38:56,828 Champagne is coming! 1380 01:38:56,833 --> 01:38:58,453 Come on, let's get some champagne. 1381 01:38:58,458 --> 01:39:00,578 Find your own name and don't take wrongly. 1382 01:39:00,583 --> 01:39:02,583 Now, one by one. 1383 01:39:03,333 --> 01:39:06,750 Tyler's funeral finally appears on the market of NASDAQ. 1384 01:39:06,875 --> 01:39:10,162 We're going to spend American citizens' money from now on. 1385 01:39:10,167 --> 01:39:11,995 It's signality. Thanks to you. 1386 01:39:12,000 --> 01:39:14,583 Cheers, to our funeral. 1387 01:39:14,958 --> 01:39:18,870 Not our funerals, it's Tyler's. 1388 01:39:18,875 --> 01:39:20,037 Yep, it's Tyler's. 1389 01:39:20,042 --> 01:39:21,042 Cheers. 1390 01:39:23,917 --> 01:39:26,333 So there's this mental hospital... 1391 01:39:26,542 --> 01:39:31,125 ...overcrowded with patients, all mentally retarded... 1392 01:39:31,375 --> 01:39:34,333 ...and not enough nurses or doctors or staff. 1393 01:39:34,625 --> 01:39:39,042 The chief physician gets an idea: Patients will supervise themselves. 1394 01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,958 Each floor will have a patient monitor. 1395 01:39:42,375 --> 01:39:45,417 But the floor monitor has to be minimally intelligent. 1396 01:39:46,333 --> 01:39:49,333 So the doctor goes to the first floor, 1397 01:39:49,583 --> 01:39:54,333 holds up an apple and asks:”What's this?” 1398 01:39:54,542 --> 01:39:57,333 The patients all shake their heads. 1399 01:39:58,042 --> 01:40:02,042 Suddenly, one patient raises his hand. “I know!” 1400 01:40:02,125 --> 01:40:04,703 The doctor says, “Tell us!” “An apple!” 1401 01:40:04,708 --> 01:40:07,787 “What's it for?” asks the doctor. “Eating!” 1402 01:40:07,792 --> 01:40:11,078 The doctor says, “You're the first floor monitor.” 1403 01:40:11,083 --> 01:40:13,703 They're testing you. Don't screw up. 1404 01:40:13,708 --> 01:40:16,453 The doctor goes to the second floor. 1405 01:40:16,458 --> 01:40:19,250 He holds up a banana and asks: 1406 01:40:19,458 --> 01:40:21,620 “Who can tell me what this is?” 1407 01:40:21,625 --> 01:40:23,750 The patients all shake their heads. 1408 01:40:24,292 --> 01:40:28,208 But one patient raises his hand. “A banana.” 1409 01:40:28,250 --> 01:40:31,328 “And what's it for?” “Eating.” 1410 01:40:31,333 --> 01:40:34,078 “And how do you eat it?” “Peel it!” 1411 01:40:34,083 --> 01:40:37,542 “Good! You're the second floor monitor.” 1412 01:40:39,917 --> 01:40:43,208 So the doctor goes to the third floor. 1413 01:40:43,417 --> 01:40:47,417 He takes out a... The thing with a horn-shaped speaker... 1414 01:40:48,167 --> 01:40:50,912 ...and a handle you crank. What it's called? 1415 01:40:50,917 --> 01:40:52,542 A gramophone! 1416 01:40:53,208 --> 01:40:54,625 You're the third floor monitor! 1417 01:40:57,083 --> 01:40:58,287 Cut! 1418 01:40:58,292 --> 01:41:02,292 This is perfect. The angel gets the last laugh. The movie ends here. 1419 01:41:02,625 --> 01:41:05,120 That's a very bad idea. 1420 01:41:05,125 --> 01:41:08,708 Movies should have romantic, sweet, lyrical endings. 1421 01:41:08,750 --> 01:41:10,495 Lucy's in love with Yo Yo. 1422 01:41:10,500 --> 01:41:12,287 We should see them in bed. 1423 01:41:12,292 --> 01:41:14,995 The scene starts with a kiss. 1424 01:41:15,000 --> 01:41:16,745 Then they take off each other clothes. 1425 01:41:16,750 --> 01:41:20,750 - They embrace passionately. - In slow motion. 1426 01:41:20,833 --> 01:41:22,912 This is your movie, your story, 1427 01:41:22,917 --> 01:41:25,292 your joke, the end. Okay? 1428 01:41:25,333 --> 01:41:27,917 - He said... - I know. 1429 01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:32,750 Now. Stop. No good. 1430 01:41:33,750 --> 01:41:36,458 I. Lucy. Together. 1431 01:41:36,583 --> 01:41:38,083 Go to bed. 1432 01:41:39,208 --> 01:41:41,000 Long time kiss. 1433 01:41:41,292 --> 01:41:42,792 Music. 1434 01:41:43,083 --> 01:41:44,250 Stop. 1435 01:41:44,625 --> 01:41:46,953 - Very good. - Very good! 1436 01:41:46,958 --> 01:41:49,833 Lucy, come here. Sit down. 1437 01:41:50,333 --> 01:41:53,370 How many times have you promised me 1438 01:41:53,375 --> 01:41:55,583 You wouldn't argue with Uncle Tony? 1439 01:41:56,875 --> 01:42:00,875 Hey, do you like Yo Yo's ending? 1440 01:42:01,042 --> 01:42:03,453 Whatever I support, 1441 01:42:03,458 --> 01:42:06,125 It has nothing to do with real life. 1442 01:42:06,667 --> 01:42:09,667 Do you love him? Tell me the truth. 1443 01:42:12,250 --> 01:42:15,458 God. Tony was right. 1444 01:42:15,708 --> 01:42:18,167 This is the truth of the movie. 1445 01:42:18,708 --> 01:42:22,328 Hey, I'll do it Yo Yo's way. 1446 01:42:22,333 --> 01:42:25,787 It's just a movie. It's all I got to give you. 1447 01:42:25,792 --> 01:42:27,458 I love him too. 1448 01:42:49,125 --> 01:42:51,083 What are you thinking? 1449 01:42:51,667 --> 01:42:55,083 Do I have to reveal all my secrets? 1450 01:42:55,250 --> 01:42:57,250 Fine, don't tell me. 1451 01:42:57,667 --> 01:42:59,208 I'd better tell you. 1452 01:43:00,750 --> 01:43:02,167 I was thinking: 1453 01:43:02,667 --> 01:43:06,083 Should I help with the necklace first... 1454 01:43:06,667 --> 01:43:11,208 ...or touch your shoulders, to test your response? 1455 01:43:12,333 --> 01:43:14,495 Or, maybe just lift your face, 1456 01:43:14,500 --> 01:43:19,208 gaze deeply into your eyes and attack you like a wild animal? 1457 01:43:20,375 --> 01:43:25,625 Or, if everything has gone smoothly up to now... 1458 01:43:25,792 --> 01:43:29,875 ...strike while the iron is hot, and do something I'll regret later? 1459 01:43:30,458 --> 01:43:34,833 Or, just take my time and wait for a better harvest? 1460 01:43:35,667 --> 01:43:38,120 - Then I thought... - What if I refuse? 1461 01:43:38,125 --> 01:43:41,787 - You'd do that? - Don't know. Try your luck. 1462 01:43:41,792 --> 01:43:43,292 Then wish me luck! 1463 01:43:57,083 --> 01:43:59,417 Better do it from the front. 1464 01:44:03,458 --> 01:44:05,792 What are you doing? 1465 01:44:07,625 --> 01:44:08,833 Come on, guys. 1466 01:44:09,875 --> 01:44:12,375 I'm not gonna say cut until you kiss. 1467 01:44:17,083 --> 01:44:17,875 Cut. 1468 01:44:20,292 --> 01:44:21,167 Cut. 1469 01:44:23,083 --> 01:44:24,042 Cut! 1470 01:44:28,333 --> 01:44:29,417 Be cool! 104674

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