Original subtitles

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> � LA LA LA LA LA �

>> NO, SHAPEY!

>> MINE!

>> OREL, PLAY NICE WITH YOUR

LITTLE BROTHER.

>> MOM, HE WAS POINTING THE

B.B. GUN RIGHT AT HIS EYE.

>> WELL, YOU'RE THE OLDER ONE.

DEAL WITH IT.

>> AAGH!

>> AND, FOR GOODNESS SAKES,

GIVE HIM HIS TOY BACK.

THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD IS GOING

TO THINK I'M A BAD MOTHER.

>> SORRY, MOM.

>> OOH, DARK!

>> SHAPEY, BE CAREFUL.

DON'T PULL THE TRIGGER.

>> DA-DA!

>> OREL,

YOU KNOW THE RULE.

DON'T UPSET YOUR BROTHER UNTIL

DADDY'S HAD HIS HIGHBALL.

>> SORRY, DAD.

BUT SHAPEY--

>> IS ONLY 7.

YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

>> BUT--

>> NO "BUTS," YOUNG MAN.

YOU NEED TO BEHAVE MORE LIKE AN

ADULT AROUND HERE.

>> BUT I'M ONLY 12.

>> THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

WHY, YOU'RE OWN PERSONAL HERO

JESUS WAS VERY MATURE AT YOUR

AGE.

>> HE WAS?

>> OF COURSE.

AT 12, HE WAS ALREADY BUSY

PROVING THE JEWS WRONG.

>> WOW.

[POW]

YEOW!

>> OREL!

>> OH!

OW!

>> HOLD STILL OR IT WILL GET

INFECTED.

AND THEN YOU'LL LOOK EVEN

SILLIER.

>> BUT IT STINGS.

>> THAT MEANS THE CHEMICALS ARE

WORKING.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

>> EXCUSE ME, FAMILY.

DADDY NEEDS TO POWDER HIS

BLADDER.

>> SORRY.

OREL HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH THE

B.B. GUN.

>> HA HA HA HA.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE MORE

CAREFUL, SON.

>> I WAS, DAD.

BUT I WAS DISTRACTED.

>> BY WHAT?

>> JESUS.

>> JESUS, EH?

>> YEAH.

I COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT

HOW MATURE HE ALREADY WAS AT 12.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

HE WAS.

>> HOW CAN I BE LIKE THAT, DAD?

>> WELL, YOU HAVE A WHOLE TOWN

FULL OF ROLE MODELS.

WHY DON'T YOU OBSERVE THE

BEHAVIOR OF ADULTS RIGHT HERE IN

MORALTON.

>> GOLLY, GOOD IDEA.

AND I THINK I KNOW THE PERFECT

PLACE TO START.

>> GEE...

WHY ARE WE SNEAKING AROUND THIS

TAVERN, OREL?

>> BECAUSE, DOUGHY, I NEED TO

OBSERVE MATURITY.

AND I FIGURE THERE'S NO MORE

MATURE PLACE THAN--

>> FOOTBALL!

>> HOCKEY!

>> FOOTBALL!

>> HOCKEY!

>> AAGH!

FOOTBALL!

>> HOCKEY!

>> FOOTBALL!

>> HOCKEY!

>> FOOTBALL!

>> HOCKEY!

>> OH, NOW'S OUR CHANCE.

>> HOCKEY!

>> FOOTBALL!

>> � SAD, SAD, SAD �

>> WOW, LOOK.

THEY'RE ALL HERE.

MS. SENSORDOLL, THE LIBRARIAN,

COACH STOPFRAME, PRINCIPAL

FAKEY, OFFICER PAPERMOUTH.

ALL OF THEM UNDER ONE ROOF.

>> GOSH.

PRINCIPAL FAKEY IS KISSING

NURSE BLINKLESS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

ISN'T HE MARRIED TO MRS. FAKEY?

>> DON'T QUESTION YOUR ELDERS,

DOUGHY.

PRINCIPAL FAKEY IS IN HIS

FIFTIES.

HE MUST KNOW WHAT'S BEST.

WE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND YET.

HEY, LOOK OVER THERE.

MR. AND MRS. JOINTSON--

THEY'RE MARRIED.

OH, LET'S WATCH THEM.

>> HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

>> IT WAS A DAY.

>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE A

PERSON?

>> I AM.

>> AMAZING!

>> IT'S LIKE THEY HAVE THEIR OWN

LANGUAGE.

>> THAT LANGUAGE IS CALLED

MATURITY.

>> � I'M SADLY SAD

SADDITY SAD �

>> YEAH!

>> WHOO-HOO!

>> � RIGHT NOW IS THE SADDEST

I'VE EVER BEEN

UNTIL NOW �

>> DON'T GET ME WRONG.

BEING ALONE IS GREAT.

IT'S JUST I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO

DO WITH ALL MY MONEY.

>> OH, I CAN THINK OF A FEW

THINGS, HONEY.

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY!

>> STANDING!

>> SITTING!

>> STANDING!

>> SITTING!

>> STANDING!

>> SITTING.

>> WHOA!

THIS PLACE IS LIKE AN AMUSEMENT

PARK FULL OF LIFE LESSONS.

>> DID YOU GET ENOUGH NOTES YET,

OREL?

I WANT TO GO.

IT SMELLS LIKE PEE AND POO IN

HERE.

>> � SAD SADDITY SAD

I'M SAD... �

>> BYE, OREL.

>> BYE, DOUGHY.

>> WAAH!

>> YOU PIG!

HOW DARE YOU?!

I GAVE MY WHOLE LIFE TO YOU!

>> [SOBBING]

>> MOMMY, WAIT!

>> LET HER GO, BILLY.

THEY ALWAYS COME BACK!

>> WHY DID YOU SCREAM THAT AT

HER JUST NOW, MR. FIGURELLI?

>> IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO REALLY

GET RID OF THEM, OREL.

>> HMM.

>> SEE YOU AT TRACK TOMORROW,

BILLY.

>> I GAVE MY WHOLE LIFE TO YOU.

>> DAD!

>> IT'S BETTER NAPKINS THAN MOST

NAPKINS.

BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO WITH

THE 20-WEIGHT NAPKIN, YOU MIGHT

AS WELL SPLURGE FOR THE 22

NAPKIN, WHICH HAS GOT LINEN FOR

A STRONGER BOND.

[SIGHS]

HERE'S WHY.

>> � LA LA LA LA LA LA

LA �

>> THAT KID GETS MORE ACTION

THAT I DO.

>> HA HA.

I AM STILL WEANING HIM, CLAY.

>> BLOBERTA, HE'S 7.

HE SHOULD NOT BE USING YOUR MILK

TO WASH DOWN HIS MEATLOAF--

WHICH I PAY FOR BY WORKING THAT

STINKING DEAD-END JOB!

>> HA HA.

I AM SO SICK OF YOUR

COMPLAINING.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST QUIT YOUR JOB

AND QUIT BEING SUCH A CRYBABY?

>> OH, THANKS FOR THE SYMPATHY!

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN ON MY SIDE!

>> WHY WOULD I BE ON THE SIDE OF

A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE ALCOHOLIC?

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE I GAVE YOU

THE PRIVILEGE OF SATISFYING ME

EVERY NIGHT.

SON OF A--

[YELLING THROUGH GRITTED TEETH]

[GROWLING]

I'M A MAN.

>> AHA!

YEP.

MATURITY JUICE.

[SHUDDERS]

[SHUDDERS]

� ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH!

ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH!

A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

HEY!

A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

OH! �

>> [LAUGHTER]

>> HEY, YOU KIDS!

GET OFF THE LAWN!

>> [LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHING]

� A-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH!

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH! �

>> SURPRISE!

>> GREAT.

ANOTHER YEAR.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME.

JUST FOR TONIGHT, I NEED TO BE

HELD.

I NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO.

>> I WANT TO GO AND SKIP.

>> [GROANS]

>> YEAH?!

TRY BEING 12!

>> [GIGGLING]

>> SHUT UP, WOMAN!

>> [SCREAMING]

>> HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL,

DEAR.

>> AH, HAVE A GOOD DAY YOURSELF.

>> HMM.

NOW, WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT

BEHAVIOR BEFORE?

HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK, DEAR.

>> AH, HAVE A GOOD DAY YOURSELF.

>> CLAY?

>> HMM?

>> AHEM.

I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE A

LITTLE TALK WITH YOUR SON.

>> HMM.

>> � A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH!

A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

AH!

A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

HEY!

A-ROOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-- �

>> OREL!

YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A CHILD!

>> [HICCOUGHS]

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN

INTO YOU LATELY, YOUNG MAN.

MY TALKS JUST DON'T SEEM TO BE

HELPING.

>> BUT, DAD, I THOUGHT I WAS

DOING WHAT YOU WANTED.

>> WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER

WANT YOU TO TAKE MY PRECIOUS

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES?

>> BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO BE

MORE ADULT.

>> OREL, DRINKING ON A DAILY

BASIS IS NOT THE ONLY WAY TO BE

AN ADULT.

>> WELL...

I TRIED NOT TALKING ABOUT MY

FEELINGS, TOO.

>> OH, SON.

BEHAVING LIKE A GROWN-UP IS MANY

THINGS.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, IT MEANS

DOING THINGS THAT YOU HATE

DOING.

>> LIKE WHAT, POP?

>> WELL, LIKE DEALING WITH

PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU UNHAPPY,

BEING STRESSED ABOUT THINGS YOU

HAVE NO CONTROL OVER,

AND WORKING SOUL-NUMBING JOBS.

>> OH.

>> THEN, GRADUALLY, AS WE ENDURE

THESE HARDSHIPS AND ACCEPT THEM

AS NORMAL, THAT'S WHEN WE'VE

FINALLY EARNED THE RIGHT TO GET

DRUNK AND BE EMOTIONALLY DISTANT

FROM OUR FAMILIES.

>> JUST LIKE MY FATHER.

I LOVE YOU, DAD.

>> I'M HUNGRY, TOO.

LET'S GO EAT.

>> � SAD, SAD

SADDER THAN SAD

I'M SADDER WITH EACH

PASSING MOMENT

I'M MUCH SADDER NOW

THAN A SECOND AGO

SADLY, EVEN SADDER NOW STILL �

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

� I LOOKED BACK AT LIFE

20 SECONDS AGO

WHEN FIRST I SANG OF MY SORROW

T'WAS A HAPPIER TIME

THAN I'M LIVING THROUGH NOW

WHICH IS BLISS COMPARED

WITH WHAT'S TO FOLLOW

SAD �

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

>> HELLO, GOOD-BYE.