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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
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>> � MY GRANDMA FELL OFF OF
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THE ROOFTOP
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OH, GRANNY, YOU'VE GOT SOME
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BAD LUCK
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BUT, OH, WHAT SHE SAID
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WHEN SHE FELL ON HER HEAD
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SHE YELLED OUT AN EAR SPLITTING
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F--OLLOW JESUS
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HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD
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PRAISE HIS NAME
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AND RECEIVE YOUR REWARD �
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>> REVEREND COLESBY!
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>> HA HA, OK, THAT WAS THE
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STOOGEMATAS WITH "SAVING CREAM."
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AND HERE'S THE NUMBER ONE
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HOLY-LARIOUS HIT
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FROM THE VIRGIN HARRY,
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"HOMOSEXUAL HOP."
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[WOLF HOWLS]
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>> � I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE
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VILLAGE ONE FINE DAY
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WHERE THE GODLESS GAYS
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ALL ROMP AND PLAY
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IT WAS A HOP
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A HOMOSEXUAL HOP
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IT WAS A-- �
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>> YIPPEE, CHURCH!
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FINALLY.
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>> WHOA, THERE.
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WHAT'S THE RUSH?
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GOD'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
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>> OH, HI, COACH STOPFRAME.
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>> OREL, THIS IS MY NEPHEW JOE.
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HE'S KIND OF NEW TO THIS WHOLE
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CHURCH THING.
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I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD BE
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HIS BIBLE BUDDY.
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>> SURE THING!
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COME ON, JOE, I'LL SHOW YOU MY
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FAVORITE BARTHOLOMEW QUOTES.
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>> UH, YIPPEE.
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>> DANIEL.
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>> CLAY, THERE HE IS.
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>> MINE!
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>> HEH HEH.
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IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY WANTS
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A PIECE OF ME LATELY.
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HA HA HA.
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>> HA HA HA.
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>> HA HA HA.
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>> HA HA HA.
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AHH.
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>> FRIENDS...NO,
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I'M NOT CALLING YOU FRIENDS,
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MY SERMON IS ABOUT FRIENDS.
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HA HA!
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GOTCHA.
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GOD WANTS YOU TO BE LOYAL TO
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YOUR FRIENDS,
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JUST LIKE THE WAY JESUS WAS
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LOYAL TO HIS DISCIPLES.
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SURE, THEY EVENTUALLY
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SCREWED HIM...
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I MEAN, HERE YOU HAVE JESUS,
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THE SON OF GOD,
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RIGHT IN YOUR BACK POCKET,
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AND JUDAS BLOWS THE WHOLE THING
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BY TATTLING TO THE JEWS.
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TALK ABOUT EGG ON YOUR FACE.
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JUDAS HAD A SERIOUS OMELET
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FACE MASK.
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HMM, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
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OMELET...FACE MASK.
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HA HA HA!
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SOMETIMES YOU JUST WING IT
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UP HERE, AND IT WORKS.
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ANYWAY.
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AVOID YOUR OWN OMELET FACE
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MASK.
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STAY LOYAL TO YOUR FRIENDS,
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DO WHAT THEY WANT, HUMOR THEM,
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EVEN LIE TO THEM IF IT MAKES
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THEM FEEL GOOD.
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THAT WAY, BOTH JESUS AND GOD
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WILL LOOK DOWN UPON YOU AND
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SMILE.
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AND NOT IN A MOCKING WAY,
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EITHER. AMEN.
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>> AMEN!
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RIGHT, JOE?
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>> DON'T ASK ME.
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>> OK.
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>> REVEREND PUTTY?
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>> YES, OREL?
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>> I AGREE WITH YOUR SERMON
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THAT BEING DISLOYAL IS LIKE
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WEARING AN OMELET MASK.
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>> OMELET FACE MASK.
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GET IT RIGHT...
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AND YOU'LL GO TO HEAVEN.
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>> RIGHT.
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I WANT YOU TO MEET MY NEW
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FRIEND JOE.
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I'M GOING TO PRACTICE SOME
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LOYALTY ON HIM.
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>> HELLO, JOE.
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>> COME ON, OREL, IT'S ABOUT
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TIME WE HAD SOME FUN.
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>> OK, JOE.
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>> OREL, LOOK BOTH WAYS CROSSING
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THE STREET IN YOUR GOOD SUIT.
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>> DRINK!
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>> NO, SHAPEY, YOU ARE CUT OFF.
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>> MINE.
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>> HEY, REVEREND,
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WOULDN'T DEVILED EGG MAKE MORE
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SENSE THAN OMELET FOR JUDAS?
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>> NO.
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>> COME ON, OREL,
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DO IT WITH ME.
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IT'S FUN.
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>> OK, JOE.
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YAY!
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>> HEY, OREL, INSTEAD OF
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THROWING ROCKS AT MY DAD'S CAR,
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HOW ABOUT PLAYING WITH ME
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AND TOMMY AND HIM?
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>> CAN'T, DOUGHY,
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I'M BUSY HANGING OUT WITH
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MY NEW FRIEND, JOE.
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>> YEAH, SO SCRAM.
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[THUD]
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>> I'VE GOT TO BE LOYAL!
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HA HA HA!
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>> DIE, YOU DIRTY ANTS.
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THAT'S FOR MOVING OUR DIRT
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AROUND.
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HEH HEH HEH.
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>> YEAH!
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HA HA.
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>> BOY, THAT JOE SEEMS LIKE BAD
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NEWS.
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>> YEAH, TOMMY, AND I'LL BET
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OREL IS GONNA END UP BEING BAD
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NEWS, TOO, BECAUSE OF JOE.
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>> GEE, I HOPE NOT.
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>> DO YOU REALLY THINK WE
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SHOULD BE DOING THIS?
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>> YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
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THIS IS BORING.
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HEY, I GOT IT.
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I KNOW THIS PLACE IN BLACKLIST
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FOREST WHERE A BUNCH OF BOYS
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MEET UP AND DO IMMORAL THINGS.
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LET'S GRAB SOME BASEBALL BATS
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AND CLOBBER THEM.
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>> OH, WELL, IT MIGHT BE
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GETTING LATE.
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>> OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY
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LOYAL FRIEND.
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>> WELL, OK, IF YOU REALLY
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WANT TO.
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THEN I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.
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>> THANKS!
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NOW, LET'S GO BASH SOME
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WEIRDIES.
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>> HEY, THERE'S MY FRIENDS.
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>> LET'S DITCH THEM.
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HEH HEH HEH.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE.
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>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT GOD
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AS YOU DO, BUT I SURE KNOW
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THEY'RE GOING TO HELL.
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>> HUH? THEY ARE?
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OH, I MEAN YEAH, THEY'RE
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GOING TO HELL ALL RIGHT.
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>> AND HELL IS STARTING NOW.
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LET'S GET THEM!
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HA HA HA.
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UH.
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WHEE!
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>> GEE, GOD, I KNOW I'M BEING
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LOYAL TO JOE AND ALL,
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BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THIS JUST
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DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.
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>> OREL, SHUT UP AND KEEP
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CLOBBERING.
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>> YOU GOT IT, FRIEND!
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>> THIS SURE ISN'T GOOD,
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IS IT, TOMMY.
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>> IT SURE ISN'T, DOUGHY.
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JOE'S GOT HIM WRAPPED AROUND HIS
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LITTLE FINGER.
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>> TOMMY, DOUGHY, WE SHOULD GO
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LET OREL'S DAD KNOW.
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>> YOU'RE RIGHT!
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LET'S GO, COME ON, TOMMY.
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>> HERE, SHAPEY, PLAY WITH THIS
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IN THE GRASS.
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BUT DON'T SPILL IT.
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>> MINE!
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>> HA HA HA.
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AHH.
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>> HI, MR. PUFFINGTON.
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>> WELL, IF IT ISN'T DOUGHY,
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TOMMY, AND THE GANG.
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WHAT'S UP?
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>> I'M WORRIED ABOUT OREL.
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>> AHH, YES, WORRY.
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I REMEMBER THAT.
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>> ME, DOUGHY, AND HIM ARE ALL
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WORRIED, MR. PUFFINGTON.
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>> WHY?
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>> WELL, IT'S KIND OF
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EMBARRASSING.
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>> YEAH, IT'S HARD TO TALK
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ABOUT.
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>> WELL, WHY NOT DO WHAT I DO
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WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING THAT'S
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DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT?
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>> SO, THEN, WE JUST CAME
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OVER HERE.
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>> YEAH, YEAH, AND ANOTHER
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THING--JOE IS REALLY MEAN.
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[LAUGHING]
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>> THEY BOTH RAN AWAY LAUGHING.
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>> OK, BOYS.
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ALL RIGHT.
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WELL, THANKS, I'LL HANDLE IT.
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>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT HIM,
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ARE YOU, MR. PUFFINGTON?
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>> OH, DOUGHY, GOD WANTS US TO
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BEAT YOU KIDS WHEN YOU ARE BAD.
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>> HE DOES?
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>> YES.
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>> WHY?
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>> BECAUSE.
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>> GEE, I WISH HE WAS MY DAD.
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>> DAD!
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>> OREL, FUN'S OVER.
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GET IN THE CAR.
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>> BUT I'M BUSY BEING LOYAL
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TO JOEY.
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>> TIME TO BE LOYAL TO YOUR
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FATHER.
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IN MY STUDY.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> YOU'RE NICE.
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>> OREL, I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT
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YOU DIDN'T FEEL SOME GUILT OVER
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WHAT YOU WERE DOING WITH JOE.
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>> THAT'S JUST IT, DAD.
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I DID FEEL GUILT, BUT I COULDN'T
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PUT MY FINGER ON WHY EXACTLY.
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>> THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, SON.
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YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY TO
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JOE LED YOU TO HURTING OTHER
269
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:09,347
PEOPLE.
270
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,783
>> YEAH, THOSE BOYS IN THE
271
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:11,784
FOREST.
272
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,218
>> NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR
273
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,653
3 REAL FRIENDS.
274
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,721
DOUGHY AND TOMMY AND THE REST.
275
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,656
>> OH, YEAH.
276
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:18,791
>> YOU WENT OUT ROMPING AROUND
277
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,592
AND GALLIVANTING WITH JOE, AND
278
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,227
YOU NEVER ASKED THOSE 3 LONG-
279
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,262
TIME PALS OF YOURS TO JOIN IN.
280
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,464
>> HMM.
281
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:26,231
YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S WHAT
282
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,466
BOTHERED ME?
283
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:28,233
>> ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME,
284
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,001
YOUNG MAN?
285
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,102
>> OH, NO, DAD.
286
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,370
>> I DIDN'T THINK SO.
287
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:32,837
GOD DOESN'T WANT YOU TO BE LOYAL
288
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,006
TO ONE FRIEND
289
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:35,173
AND DISLOYAL TO OTHER FRIENDS
290
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,809
AT THE SAME TIME, OREL.
291
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,010
YOU KNOW THE LOST 18th
292
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,144
COMMANDMENT.
293
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,480
THOU SHALT BE LOYAL TO ALL THY
294
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,515
FRIENDS AT THE SAME TIME.
295
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,949
>> OH, YEAH.
296
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,618
>> SO, YOU SEE, FRIENDSHIP IS A
297
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,886
COMPLICATED HEADACHE,
298
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:49,788
BUT IT'S ULTIMATELY WORTH IT.
299
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,756
>> BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE KIDS
300
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,925
WE BEAT UP?
301
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,793
>> SON, KIDS YOU BEAT UP WILL
302
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,961
ALWAYS COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDS
303
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,963
ARE FOREVER.
304
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,032
>> WOW.
305
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,766
THAT'S REALLY WISE, DAD.
306
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,501
THANKS!
307
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,668
>> NO PROBLEM.
308
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,237
>> NOW, LET'S GO DRINK DINNER.
309
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,707
>> DON'T YOU MEAN EAT DINNER?
310
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,676
>> YEAH.
311
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,779
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
312
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,215
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
313
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,350
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
314
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,551
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
315
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,453
--www.ncicap.org--]22563
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