Original subtitles

- Hey, baby.

- Hi, babe.

- Are you watching an old Bill Clinton speech?

- Alicia told me to look at it to get some tips.

You know, I'’m thinking about using his thumb-pointing thing.

Lolli,

you look great in those tight pants.

They hug you just right,

and I'’m okay with that.

- Oh, Boyce, that doessound like

something Bill Clinton would say!

- [chuckles] Hey, babe, what'’s all this?

- Well, I know you have that photo op today

for Habitat for Humanity,

so I got you some things to wear

for when you'’re building the houses,

to make you look rugged.

- Ooh, okay.

A little tool belt, all right.

And, mm, flannel shirt.

Boots. Okay. Thank you, baby.

- Yeah, well, you know, I may not know as much

about campaigning as Alicia does,

but I do know how to make my candidate look good.

This is my field.

Can'’t nobody play on it.

- How do I look?

- You look ridiculous.

- Well--well, Lolli thought it would help me

look like one of the common people.

- You look like one of the Village People.

- What'’s wrong with it?

- Well, it'’s too clean and perfect,

and could you have gotten a smaller hammer?

Did you steal this from a cobbler?

- You know better than to insult a man'’s hammer.

- We'’ll stop off at Goodwill on the way to the site

and get you some jeans that don'’t have pressed cuffs.

- I don'’t know. I don'’t know.

This is Lolli'’s field.

We'’re not supposed to be playing on it.

- Look, the whole reason we'’re doing this

is so that you can connect with the working man,

and the working man doesn'’t have a--

Gucci makes a wrench?

- It came with the cologne.

It was a gift set.

[soul music]

♪

Hello?

Lolli?

Babe?

- Boyce, is that you?

Honey?

Boyce, where'’d you--

Honey...

What'’s wrong, baby?

- [shivering] Oh, I'’m so cold.

It was freezing down there, babe.

I-I think I got the hypothermia.

- Aww... Well, let me warm you up.

- Uh, no, you know,

I don'’t have on any clothes under here,

and I'’m feeling kind of shy.

- Well, I'’m not shy.

Let me get a look at that manly, house-building body.

- [stammers] Uh, no means no.

Okay! Look, I changed my mind.

How about we go on upstairs

and, uh, smash?

- What happened to the clothes I bought you, Boyce?

- All right, Lolli, here'’s the thing.

Alicia thought-- - Hold on.

I know she'’s not trying to tell me

how myman should dress.

- Lolli, this isn'’t about anybody'’s man.

She'’s a pro.

- Does she know who'’s been keeping you fly

for the past 20 years?

Who took you out of parachute pants

and put you in baggy jeans?

Who put you in five-button suits

when everybody else was still wearing two?

And who gave you cornrows for the Stevie Wonder tribute?

- Oh, man, I wish Stevie could'’ve seen

that one right there.

- Boyce, Alicia needs to back off.

- Look, babe, I know that she can be a little abrasive.

- A little abrasive?

You could use her personality

to sand down the side of a boat.

- All right, Lolli, here'’s the thing.

She knows what she'’s doing, all right?

So we'’re gonna have to learn to work together, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay. - Hey! All right.

So, um...

smash-wise, where are we at on that?

- No, thanks.

I'’m feelin'’ shy.

- But I got all these tools.

- Ah.

Here you go.

I just want to say, I killed it

at the voter registration drive.

- Thank you, Fletcher.

- Oh, no, please, call me Stamps.

- Where did you get that nickname?

- Eh, well, you know, I'’d rather not say.

It'’s kind of personal. - All right.

- You know, I was seeing this woman,

and she, uh--

she called me Stamps because

when you lick me, I stick to you.

- Enough said.

- Then I take you where you want to go.

- Well, Stamps, given that,

I guess I shouldn'’t be surprised

that every single voter you registered

is a woman from 18 to 25.

- You wanted names? I got you names.

- And phone numbers and relationship status.

- Don'’t hate the data.

- You are off voter registration duty.

- Oh! Why?

- Hey, everybody.

- Boyce, you'’re late; they'’re expecting you

in a half hour at the county fair

to judge the butter sculpture contest.

- What'’s the rush?

- Well, it'’s hot,

and it'’s butter.

- For your information,

we'’re late for a very good reason.

I had Boyce speak to the St. Louis Mass Chorus.

They were eating out of my baby'’s hand.

- Of course they were. They were voting for him anyway.

You were literally preaching to the choir.

- But if you had been there--

- I would have stopped you.

- I'’d like to see you try.

- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies.

There'’s plenty of me to go around.

- Actually, there'’s not.

I'’ve got you booked all day.

After the fair, you'’re addressing

the Welders Local 558,

and then we'’ve got the Kiwanis Club.

Play up your charity work.

You sang on "We Are the World," right?

- Well, I was supposed to,

but me and Cyndi Lauper got into a beef,

so I told Quincy Jones, I said, "Hey, man,

you gonna have to make a choice."

Well, you know what happened on that.

- Okay, right, and after the Kiwanis,

you'’ve got the teachers'’ union.

- That'’s a big day.

I don'’t see Mayor Saxby doing all that stuff.

- Well, he doesn'’t need to.

He'’s got a super PAC

raising more money every week

than we'’ve raised this entire campaign.

All right, let'’s go.

Butter'’s melting.

- You'’re melting, witch.

- Lolli!

- She didn'’t hear me.

- Yes, she did.

[crickets chirping]

[door clicks open]

- Loll?

Hey, babe, I, um,

brought you a little something back

from the county fair.

Deep-fried Oreo.

Double Stuf.

- Sounds delicious.

- Babe, you okay?

- I'’m okay.

Boyce... [sighing]

It'’s just that we'’ve always done

everything together,

and now that you'’re running for mayor,

I want to help you, and every time I try,

I run up against the Jolly Mean Giant.

- [laughing]

That'’s a good one, babe.

Look, Lolli, this campaign needs you.

I need you.

I mean, you aregoing with me

to the Rotary breakfast tomorrow.

- Is Biggie Talls gonna be there?

- Well, I mean, it was her plan.

- Then no. - [scoffs]

- She gets on my nerves,

and I want to put my own stuff together.

- Well, then, you know,

maybe you should.

- Then I will.

Wait, how?

- You know, I was thinking, remember when Alicia

mentioned that Mayor Saxby gets his money from a super PAC?

I see no reason why you can'’t start your own.

- Keep talking.

- I mean, that way,

you can raise money for me,

yet be separate from the campaign.

- And separate from the campaign manager?

- Yeah, Alicia can'’t tell you a damn thing,

and it'’s the law.

- God bless America.

- Yeah. Hey.

All right. I like that.

Well, you know what?

We should celebrate your super PAC

with some of that smashin'’ we was talking about earlier.

- Right, but if the super PAC

is supposed to be separate from the candidate,

wouldn'’t that be a conflict of interest?

- I mean, I don'’t have a conflict.

Do you have interests?

- I'’m gonna go run some water in the tub.

- Hey. All right.

- Care to join me? - Oh, shoot.

Come on, now. Oh, wait.

I'’m--I'’m gonna get the Oreo, though.

- All right, Stamps. Here we go.

- Activate super PAC.

- Okay, I got highlighters in every color,

Post-its, and those little labels

that tell you where to sign stuff.

- See, we don'’t need Alicia.

Where'’d you get all these supplies?

- Alicia had the box on her desk.

- We'’re killing it!

[chuckles] - Okay.

Let'’s figure out this fund raiser.

What are we thinking?

Fashion show?

- Nah. Wet T-shirt contest.

- Heck no. - [scoffs]

Man, this is hard. I don'’t know.

- Okay, Stamps, you got to think.

Think big money.

Ooh, when we were in Vegas,

who was raking in all the dough?

- The prostitutes?

- No, Stamps, the casinos!

We could have a casino night.

Get a couple of craps tables,

ooh, play some blackjack.

- A few prostitutes.

- No prostitutes, Stamps.

This is gonna be classy.

We'’re gonna raise a ton of money for Boyce,

and the best part is,

Alicia won'’t have a damn thing to do with it.

- Yeah, I'’ve had enough of her,

talkin'’ about, "Stamps, it is illegal

to use voter registration to get girls'’ phone numbers."

- Yes, and she'’s telling me,

"Lolli, Boyce can'’t talk to anyone who'’s already

a member of his church."

- Haha!

Yeah, and she'’s all, "Stamps,

"if you submit these forms to the state,

"you could go to federal prison for 25 years.

Why are you laughing? This is a real possibility!"

- She is so annoying! - Yeah.

- And you might be going to jail.

Good afternoon, everyone.

- Hi, babe.

- We can'’t stay.

We just came to drop off these invitations.

Our super PAC is having a fund raiser.

- I'’m sorry. Your what?

- Our super PAC!

Oh, I'’m sorry.

You didn'’t know? [gasps]

What a faux pas.

- Actually, it was my idea.

I thought that since Saxby has one,

this would be a good thing for Lolli to take on.

- You see, Alicia,

this way, we can circumvent fund-raising limits

while funneling soft money directly into advertising.

- That'’s what a super PAC does.

- Yes, I know.

- You know now.

- Oh, a casino night. Babe, this should be fun.

- Yeah, Boyce, what we'’re gonna do--

- I'’m sorry, Lolli.

I'’m going to have to ask you and Stamps to leave.

- I know you ain'’t telling me I'’ve got to leave

myhusband'’s office.

- Okay, uh, Lolli, calm down.

Keep your earrings on,baby.

- It'’s illegal for officers of the super PAC

to be in the candidate'’s headquarters.

- Well, let me tell yousomething...

I didn'’t know that.

See you on Friday. Cocktail attire, please.

- And no prostitutes.

- "Citizens for a Saintlier St. Louis."

Oh, boy.

- Look, there is nothing to worry about.

If there'’s one thing Lolli knows how to do,

that is throw a party.

- A political fund raiser isn'’t like a church bake sale.

It has to be perfect.

Guest list. Image. Message.

For instance, are there any vegans attending?

- I don'’t know.

- Well, I hope Lolli does,

because what you call a crab cake,

they call deep-fried murder.

- I know you'’re trying to scare me right now,

but all you'’re doing is making me hungry.

[loud chatter, lively music playing]

both: Oh. My. God.

- Not bad.

- Uh, verynot bad.

- Hey!

- Well, hi, babe.

This is incredible.

- I have to admit, Lolli,

I'’m impressed.

- I'’m sorry. I didn'’t catch that.

My amazing fund raiser was drowning you out.

- I need a drink.

- Hmm, I know you do.

- Oh, but, babe...

Lolli, really, you did an amazing job.

How did you do this so quickly?

- Well, Stamps did help.

I mean, he got the tables and the dealers,

the equipment, the DJ, and the liquor,

but it was mostly me.

- Well, I'’m proud of you,babe.

Oh, I see a space at the craps table.

I'’m gonna go rub some elbows with donors, all right?

Take the house down.

- Boyce, you arethe house.

- So are you registeredto vote?

And if so, will you be voting as single,

married, or, "It'’s complicated"?

- Stamps... - Hmm?

- Alicia is enjoying our party,

and it'’s killing her!

- Yes! [both laugh]

Oh, and since she'’s the campaign

and we'’re the PAC, no one can tell me

I'’m not allowed to hit on potential voters.

- You can'’t hit on potential voters, Stamps.

- Why?

- Because I said so.

Look, I'’m proud of you,though.

Look at this place.

I thought I was gonna get here

and you'’d have two folding tables,

a deck of cards, and Skittles for poker chips.

- Lolli, I know what I'’m doing.

- Okay.

- Stamps.

- All right, Lolli, this is Mr. Leonard.

He came all the way from Atlantic City

to donate this casino equipment.

- That'’s a long way away.

I mean, that'’s very nice of you.

- Well, I'’m a big believer in karma.

You do good things for people;

they do good thingsfor you.

- Oh, really?

- Do I see the future mayor standing over there?

- [chuckles] - Stamps...

Why would people from New Jersey be interested

in who the mayor of St. Louis is?

- I know what you'’re worried about, but don'’t be.

They just want to expand their casino

and sanitation businesses here.

- That'’s exactly what I'’m worried about!

What did you think I was worried about?

- That they didn'’t write us a big fat check,

because they did that too.

- Stamps, this is all bad.

They'’re trying to buy off Boyce.

- No. Come on, Lolli.

Just because casino owners from Atlantic City

donated a bunch of money to get Boyce elected--

[gasps] Oh, my God.

We just sold Boyce to the mob.

[laughter]

- All right, here we go, everybody.

Hard six. Six the hard way, baby.

all: Oh!

- Nicely done! I knew you were a smart bet.

When we move into town, call me anytime.

I'’ll be sure to take care of you.

- Thank you. Are you a doctor?

- [laughs]

- Stamps, we'’ve got to do something about this.

- Okay, I'’ll tell Alicia.

- What? No, no, no, no, no.

You will not.

We can'’t give her the satisfaction of knowing

that me and you screwed up.

Well, mostly you.

Look, we gotta get Boyce out of here

and keep Alicia from finding out

who those guys are.

Oh, my God.

Hey, girlfriend!

[laughs nervously] How you doin'’?

- You know, I didn'’t care for the name,

but this Boyce-tini is delicious.

- You know what you should try?

The Long Island Boyce'’d Tea.

- Who is Boyce talking to?

I thought I knew all the big donors in town.

I should go meet them.

- Don'’t you ever take a night off?

I got two words for you: Rou. Lette.

Huh? Heh, come on!

- No, I don'’t gamble.

- Oh, this is my jam. Yeah.

Come on, dance with me.

- Oh, no. - Dance with me.

Yeah, you got it. - I-I can'’t--

- Go, dice!

[cheering and applause]

- Look at this. I'’m already winning with you.

This is the start

of a beautiful working relationship.

- Uh, just to be clear,

I already have a doctor that I like.

- Boyce, I need you to take me home.

I'’ve had way too many Boyce and Tonics.

- What are you talking about, babe? We just got here.

Plus, I'’m on a bit of a lucky streak.

- I don'’t think you are.

- Come on, let me introduce you to my friends.

- Oh, great-- - Boyce, you'’re taking me home.

- Lolli, what is going on?

- Oh, hey. Oh, whoa, whoa.

Where are you going? - Oh, sorry, Lolli.

She broke through my cabbage patch.

- We'’re leaving.

- Wait, you can'’t leave.

This is your fund raiser.

- Thank you. - Boyce, drive me home.

Drive your drunk wife home!

- Stamps, would you drive Lolli home for me, all right?

Lolli, baby, I'’m sorry, but there is still

a mob of people I haven'’t even met yet.

- Alicia, it pains me to admit this,

especially to you,

but those money guys you don'’t know--

I'’m pretty sure they'’re from

a New Jersey crime family.

- Wha--

well, that explains the pinky rings.

- Okay, Lolli, I know that was

hard for you to admit, but I appreciate it.

Luckily, my years of political experience have prepared me,

and I know exactly what to do in this situation.

[alarm blaring] Out the back door!

Now!

- I'’m sorry, Boyce.

That'’s not the party I wanted it to be.

- It'’s okay, babe.

I'’m just glad we got out of there

before Mr. Leonard

kissed me on the lips again.

- I just wanted to be a part of your campaign so badly.

- Well, congrats. You'’re doing it so badly.

- All right, enough.

Alicia, this campaign isn'’t about you.

- Ha! In your face!

- And it'’s not about you either, Lolli.

This campaign is about me

trying to help the people of St. Louis,

and I can'’t do that

if I spend all my time refereeing you two.

So you'’re gonna have to both learn to work it out

and work together.

- Boyce, you'’re right.

Alicia, I owe you an apology.

You are killing yourself to get Boyce elected.

You work long hours, seven days a week.

It'’s clear you don'’t even have time to get your hair done

or buy cute clothes.

- Okay, well, I'’m sorry too.

When I took this job, I didn'’t realize

you would be such an assertive, dominating...

presence, who would insist

on controlling every single aspect

of her husband'’s campaign.

- Apology accepted.

- Okay, well, that'’s progress, I think.

So friends?

- Eh. - Well...

- I-I mean, just work friends.

- A little strong. - Eh...

- Okay, colleagues who can work together

without killing each other.

- Maybe. - Possible.

- Good enough for me.

- Well, Alicia underestimated us.

But even with your mistakes...

- Our mistakes.

- We made $18,000.

both: [laughing]

Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it.

- You know what got everybody to open their wallets?

- Huh? - It'’s our top-shelf bar.

- Ooh-ah! I did not include that.

Hold on.

Okay, we still made $16,000 and some change.

- Hey, not too shabby.

- Not at all!

both: Get it. Get it. Get it.

- Wait, did you pay the DJ?

- No, I thought you paid the DJ. He'’s your boy.

- Damn it.

- Okay. We'’re still okay.

- We'’re better than okay. We still made bank.

- Yeah, and once we get the deposit back

from the ballroom--

- Ooh, you didn'’t get that email.

Yeah, uh, when we pulled the fire alarm,

the sprinklers went off and caused water damage.

So we actually owe them.

- I see.

So where are we, Stamps?

- Well, um, including everything,

we are $3,000 in the black.

- Okay, well, that'’s not bad.

- No, wait. Black is the good one?

Well, then, we $3,000 in the red.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ The soul man

- ♪ Hey