All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S04E11.Roar.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

The first commandment--
the very first--says,

"Thou shalt have no other gods
before me."

Now, you still got to read
the rest of them.

You don'’t get to kill and steal,

and then say, "Sorry,
I only got halfway through."

But the reason the Lord
put that one first

was to say that "I am the O.G.,"
Original God.

Accept no substitutes.

I'’m looking at you, Kanye.

I want a rich boyfriend!

Nikki, was that you?

I want a house on the beach!

Nikki, Nikki.

I want to lose five pounds!

I want you to be quiet!

Oh, Boyce, you can'’t interrupt
someone in the middle of a roar.

- A what?
- A roar.

You know, Rodney Wayne.

Oh, the self-help nut.

A-ha.

Self-actualization guru.

He'’s been doing seminars
in St. Louis,

and they are amazing.

You focus on what you want
most in this life,

and you let it build up
in the back of your throat,

and then you roar it out!

Like a phlegm ball.

Ah, Boyce, don'’t mock.

You roar your desires
out to the universe,

and then it becomes real.

It'’s in all the books and DVDs.

How much did you pay for this?

$160, but it'’s a $300 value.

Well, then, you can'’t afford
not to buy it, then, can you?

Hey, bro.

Stamps, what are you doing?

Huh? Oh, it'’s okay.

It'’s an office kitchen.
They expect you to steal.

Well, the "they" is me,
and you don'’t work here.

Besides, I thought
you had a job already.

Yeah,
but being a video game tester

doesn'’t pay
like you think it would.

Well, surprised
it pays at all.

I put myself up for a promotion
that will be so great.

I'’ll be working on a music game,

and you know that'’s my jam.

Well, you know that'’s my jam.

Ugh, marmalade?

No, thanks.
But the problem is

I know they'’re gonna
give the job to Kiefer or Roland

because they'’ve been working
for the company for nine years,

and I'’ve been working
for three weeks.

Which is less.

Boyce, you don'’t measure
worth in time.

You measure it in experience.

Which you also have less of.

If you want that job, Stamps,
you got to roar it.

No, no, no, no.
He doesn'’t need to roar.

- I'’ll do anything.
- That'’s the spirit.

Nikki, you heard Stamps
say he'’s having

a hard time staying afloat.

How is he gonna
buy some $160 DVDs?

It'’s a $300 value.

Wow, I can'’t afford
not to buy them.

[soul music]

♪

♪ Hey

♪ The soul man

So I was thinking
if this video game

that Stamps wants to work on
so bad is a music game,

maybe I can help him out.

Remember my old buddy
from the label,

- Jeff Rosenthal?
- No.

Sure you do.

Jeff, he'’s tall with the big
glasses, no hair in the front,

a lot of hair in the back.

Not ringing a bell.

Oh. Anyway,
it'’s not important.

Look, the point--Jeff.

We rode in his limo
to the AMA after party.

He had the tall redhead
with him with the lisp.

Kept calling me Boy-th.

I don'’t remember this person.

Fine.

Anyway, Jeff'’s label

is licensing the music
for the game.

He thinks
he can help Stamps out.

Oh, well, since
you'’re so connected,

do you know anybody down at
St. Louis Weekly Magazine?

Their summer hot list issue
is coming out,

and I want my salon on it.

They even give you a decal
for your window.

What'’s the big deal
about this decal?

Are you kidding me?

You know that pump your own
yogurt place over by the zoo?

Squirts?

That place is awful.

It'’s disgusting,
but they got the damn decal,

and now everybody'’s lining up
for Squirts.

You talking about that place
down by the zoo?

I'’ve been wanting
to check that out.

It was on the hot list.

See? All right, Barton.

Would you like to try a cookie?

I made them for the bake sale.

No, I'’m good.

But you never say no
to one of my cookies.

All right,
I'’ll try a little bite.

You got a toothache, Daddy?

No. Why would you say that?

Why don'’t you take
a man-sized bite, then?

Stay out of my mouth, boy.

Yes, yes.

Now, who will write
your success story?

Stephen King?
J.K. Rowling?

Whoever wrote
50 Shades of Grey?

No, no, no.

The author of
your success story is you.

Now, I want you to picture
yourself at that keyboard,

writing your story.

Big screen monitor
in front of you.

Go ahead, put your fingers
on that keyboard.

Let me see those fingers
go to work.

Last time,
we were steering our own ships,

and they sprayed water
in our faces.

Now, I want you
to proudly type,

"Today, I know what I must be,

and I am going to roar it out
until the whole world hears it!"

Now, let me hear you roar!

[all speaking at once]

You, sir.

I don'’t hear you roaring.

This your first time?

Yes. Yes, it is.

All right now.
All right now.

Join me,
join me, join me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have ourselves a roar-gin.

Okay, I guess.

Now, let me ask you.

What story are you
typing for yourself?

- Well, what I really want is--
- No, no, no, no, don'’t say it.

Just type it out.
Use your screen.

I want a promotion at work.

Don'’t type it.

Roar it!

Roar, Stamps!

Roar!

I want a promotion at work!

Everybody join him.

- I want a promotion at work!
- He wants a promotion at work!

- He wants a promotion at work!
- I want a promotion at work!

- I want a promotion at work!
- He wants a promotion at work!

Hey, Lolli.

Great news.

You got my salon
on the hot list.

No.

- Then what'’s your news?
- All right, okay.

You remember I was telling you
about Jeff Rosenthal?

- No. Who'’s he?
- Come on.

We were just talking about him,
from the record label.

Right, Jeff Rosenthal,the man

from the what'’s-it'’s-name,
who did the thing.

You have no idea
who I'’m talking about.

Uh-uh.

Anyway,
I called him about Stamps.

He pulled a few strings,
and he got him that promotion.

Oh, that'’s great, Boyce.

- Did you tell Stamps yet?
- No.

You know, I just figured
what'’s the harm

in letting him think
he did it on his own?

It'’ll give him a boost
of confidence.

Hey, guys.
Boyce, you won'’t believe it.

- I got the promotion.
- Fantastic.

- Congratulations, bro.
- Aw, you deserve it, Stamps.

Now, now. Let'’s give credit
where credit is due.

Ah, well, you know.

I was just thinking
it'’s no big deal, you know?

No, seriously.

I know that I owe
this promotion to the roar.

[both] The roar?
- Yeah.

I'’ve been roaring about this
promotion for three days now,

and it finally worked.

The sky is the limit.

Now I want the level two DVDs.

Can you believe that?

He is giving
that stupid roar credit

for all the work that I did.

If anybody deserve credit,
I do.

What about Jeff?

You don'’t even know Jeff.

Barton, why weren'’t you
at the bake sale?

Oh, Lolli,
that'’s not really my thing.

It'’s the Reverend Barton
Ballentine Annual Bake Sale.

My tooth is a little tender
is all.

Well, maybe you
should go see a dentist.

You probably
just have a cavity.

Cavity? I'’ve never
had a cavity in my life.

There'’s a first time
for everything.

Not for me.
I'’ve never had a cavity,

I'’ve never bounced a check,

and I have never cried
at a movie.

- Boyz n the Hood.
- Nope.

12 Years a Slave.

Toy Story 3!

Aw, come on!

Lolli, if you really want Uncle
Barton to go to the dentist,

you should roar for it.

Wait a minute.
You can roar for other people?

Girl, you can roar
for anything you want to happen.

Sometimes, I just roar
for Denzel to have a great day.

Yeah, I don'’t know, Nikki.

It seems kind of ridiculous to
believe in something like that.

You read your horoscope
every day.

I know, but I can'’t stop.

I'’m a Taurus.
I'’m stubborn.

You know what?

I think you'’re doing
your readers a disservice

by not putting
Looks by Lolli on the hot list.

What? Okay.

Well, how about--how about this?

How about you give me a decal,

and I'’ll give you
three free haircuts

and three free blowdries?

I said blowdries.

Ugh, I hate that hot list.

Ooh, I want to be
on it so bad.

Are you still reading
about the roar?

It'’s unbelievable, babe.

You have to attend
eight paid seminars

before you move up one level,

and there are 15 levels,

and each level
has some bogus carnival trick.

You lie on a bed of nails
or you walk on hot coals.

It'’s like Herbalife
crossed with Jackass.

Stamps is wasting his life
with this nonsense.

Says the man who'’s been
obsessing over that website

for four hours.

I also have been
playing Candy Crush.

I know.
Stop inviting me.

[exaggerated Cockney accent]
'’ello?

St. Louis Weekly Magazine?

I was reading
your latest publication,

and I didn'’t see
my favorite salon,

Looks by Lolli, in it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, they'’re jolly well smashing.

Hey, Boyce.
Can I grab a little juice?

What?

Stamps,
what are you wearing?

Oh, just a little Tesla gear.
[chuckles]

Why don'’t you go
check my new ride?

You bought a Tesla?

Nope.

I roared, and the universe
blessed me with a Tesla.

Only $5,000 down.

Stamps, are you crazy?
You only got a small promotion.

Oh, come on, bro.
You think I'’m naive?

I know I don'’t make enough
to afford a Tesla,

but I'’m gonna roar for more.

All right, you know what?
I hate to break this to you,

but the roar is not real.

I got you that promotion.

I called a buddy of mine,
and he hooked you up.

Are you serious?

Yes.

Well, do you realize
what this means?

It means the roar is
more powerful than I thought.

It made you call your buddy
and hook me up with a job.

No, Stamps.
You'’re being conned.

Oh, come on, Boyce, man.

You got to believe.
Have a little faith.

Faith?
Stamps, I'’m a pastor.

I'’m all about faith,

but this roar has nothing
to do with faith.

There'’s no commitment.
There'’s no sacrifice.

It'’s just the Oprah effect.

And then, you get a house,

and then you get a purse,

and you get a baby pony, and you
get a bowl of jellybeans,

and then you get a car!

Boyce, Boyce, why are you
so threatened by my success?

What success?

Did your car
come with a jacket?

I think not.

[whistling]

I love Twinkies
better than Oreos!

- Lolli?
- I want to be on the hot list!

Lolli, you okay?

I want to be on the hot list!

I want Looks by Lolli
to be number one!

I want to be in
St. Louis Weekly.

- Lolli.
- Ah!

- Boyce.
- What are you doing?

I was--I was praying.

Just praying loud.

Praise Jesus!

Lolli, you were roaring,
and you know better.

Look, I know, Boyce,

but the--but I didn'’t think
it would do any harm.

Besides, look at this.

My horoscope said
try something new today.

Okay.
You know what my horoscope says?

That tomorrow is the day
I put a end to this nonsense.

I'’m gonna expose Rodney Wayne
for the fraud that he is.

Well, no.
Actually, your horoscope says,

let'’s see, an old flame
will walk back into your life.

Who is she, Boyce?

Barton, look at this.

Last year'’s hot list.

Best oil change.

Does anybody care?

Best cat therapist.
They'’re cats.

No matter what you do,
they'’re not gonna be happy.

[muffled]
Don'’t let it get to you.

Barton,
why are you talking like that?

I'’m talking normal.

You must be hearing funny.

Why don'’t you just admit

you'’re having problems
with that tooth?

My tooth is fine.

It doesn'’t even hurt anymore.

Really?
Ah, okay.

Well, how about a bowl of
this delicious ice cream then?

No, I'’m good.

I'’m watching my figure.

Thinking about getting back
out there.

Barton, I'’ll make
a deal with you.

If you eat one bowl
of ice cream,

I'’ll never bring up your tooth
or the dentist again.

One bowl.

Bring it.

[all speaking at once]

That'’s it, that'’s it.

Climb that rope of success.

Feel yourself climbing high,

gripping harder,
roaring louder.

Uh-oh.

Can'’t find your rope of success?

No, I can'’t.

Would you like for me
to buy one from you?

Th--you know that'’s what it is.
You know--

My friends,
we have a skeptic here.

What'’s your name, sir?

It'’s Boyce.

Well, Boyce,
my friend, my brother,

come on up to the stage
so we can show you some love

and help you find that rope
of success together.

Give it up for Boyce, everyone.

That'’s right.

Now, Boyce, tell me.

What do you want
more than anything in the world?

I want for you to stop
taking advantage

of all these gullible people.

Climbing on
some invisible ropes,

like that'’s something new.

I'’ve seen that move in
Breakin'’ Boogaloo 2.

We had--we had the rope, dog.

We'’d get the rope right here.
We did this.

We climbed the wall.
We came back.

We started the lawnmower.

My friend, I understand
your skepticism,

but you see, you have
all of these people here

to show you
that the roar works.

Oh, yes, it does.
Watch.

See, you must look
with your eyes

and see with your heart.

[scoffs]
See with my heart.

Why don'’t you listen
with your kidney?

The guy'’s a fraud.
He'’s a fraud.

[all] No! Boo.
- No!

It'’s okay, now.
It'’s okay.

Boyce is just looking
for some truth,

and, Boyce, you came on
the perfect day,

because today,
some of these people out here

will be ascending
to our level six.

My sixers, stand up.

These people will show you
that with the roar,

you can achieve anything
you set your mind to,

and they'’ll prove it by walking
across this hot bed of coals.

Really?

A bed of hot coals.

Really?
Guys, come on.

You don'’t have to believe
in the roar to do this.

Anybody can do this.

I can do this.

Uh-oh.

I don'’t think he can do this.

He'’s not even close
to a level six.

Hey, Stamps,
come get my shoes.

Boyce, this is crazy.

Look, I'’m doing this
for you, Stamps.

But hot coals?

Yes. Look, it'’s not what you
think, all right? It'’s a trick.

Back in Vegas, David Copperfield
showed me how this works.

All of the heat is underneath.

I'’m gonna prove to you
this guy'’s a fraud.

All right?

- Here we go.
- Whoa, whoa.

You do not want to do this.

I don'’t think
you want me to do this.

All right.

Ah!

That'’s toasty right there, okay.

All right, all right.

Come on, Barton.

Stop stalling.

Delicious.

[shouting]

See that?

No big deal. Nothing to it.

Boyce, you got to roar.

Roar!

I don'’t know what'’s ashier,
the coals or his feet.

[both shouting]

All right, Barton. You win.

You'’re damn straight I win.

Now, can you drive me
to the dentist?

I think I'’m gonna pass out.

- [grunting]
[all] [cheering]

You see that?
No roar, no pain.

- What do you think now?
- Amazing, bro. Amazing.

I don'’t know how you did it.
But if I got a brother

that'’s willing to walk over
hot coals for me, then, hey,

maybe I don'’t need the roar.

Everyone,
I have a confession to make.

I roared for Boyce to do it.

He did not.
No, he didn'’t.

He wasn'’t--that was me.
He ain'’t roar.

Let'’s get out of here, man.
Nikki, are you coming?

No. I'’m staying.

But it'’s a pyramid scheme.

So what?

I'’m almost on top
of the pyramid.

Stop hating.

That was the only way...

Hey, baby.
Those feet feeling any better?

Yeah, a little.

It turns out if you step
on the coals too hard,

it kicks up the hot embers
from the bottom.

David Copperfield didn'’t
tell me about that part.

When did you speak
to David Copperfield?

You remember that wild party
at the Bellagio?

Boyce, that was
David Cassidy.

Well, I shouldn'’t have
listened to him, then.

Lolli, look what I saw
at the dentist office.

The latest issue of
St. Louis Weeklyis out,

and I think you'’ll like
what'’s on page 17.

Ooh, give me.

Oh, my God!

I made it!

There I am!
Looks by Lolli

right between
best vegan cheesesteak

and best baby yoga, hah!

- Congratulations, babe.
- And guess what?

I didn'’t even have
to roar for it.

That'’s great.
Good for her.

Yeah.

Don'’t tell her
I had to make a call.

Jeff Rosenthal'’s cousin
is the editor.

Who'’s Jeff Rosenthal?

[soul music]

♪

♪ The soul man

♪ Hey