Original subtitles

Jesus was a man of peace, but he wasn't soft.

You can best believe when some nonsense

jumped off in Nazareth,

he didn't stay quiet or mind his business.

Jesus wasn't no punk.

No, he had some hood in him.

Like the days those Romans put him up on that cross.

Jesus was like,

"Oh. That's all you got?

Well, guess what? I'll be back."

I know you all thought Arnold said that first,

but, no, he stole that from Jesus.

$900?

For $900, this would need to cook, clean,

and rub my feet.

Ooh.

Those are cute.

You know what, I don't need this.

Just a minute, ma'am.

I believe you have some items you haven't paid for.

Excuse me? I don't have any items.

Let's not play games.

Exactly where would those items be?

Ma'am, your bra area looks awfully full.

For your information, this is all me,

and quit looking.

Now either call a real cop, or get out of my face.

Good-bye.

Ooh, are those on sale?

I mean, good-bye!

[upbeat R&B music]

*

[upbeat gospel music]

* The soul man

Gospel.

Gospel.

More gospel.

Oh, oh--that's my jam.

[pop lock music]

*

Aw, shucks, bro. You got to pass it to me, now.

Oh, you don't want it. You want--you want this?

Come on, pass it to me. Yeah, I want it--come on, now.

You sure you want it, boy? Ahh!

Go, go, go! Come on.

Pass that mess to me, come on.

Daddy, come on now. No, no, no.

All right, Daddy, here it comes.

No, no, no--I got this, come on. Come on here.

Ba--bah!

I don't know what to do with it.

Daddy, why you ask for it?

Well, it looked like so much fun.

Stamps, what are you doing here on a Saturday?

Isn't this your big money day where you park

your cupcake truck in front of the Weight Watchers meeting?

Not anymore. Cupcake business is dead.

Cupcakes are so 2014.

The new thing is French toast on a stick.

How do they get the syrup in 'em?

They bake it inside.

Oh, my God.

Can we get some of those now?

See, you're part of the problem.

Now I'm broke with a cupcake truck, and I can't even sell it.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

So the French toast thing,

do they use all kinds of different breads?

Let's go find out.

I love French toast, and eating off sticks.

Thanks for the support, guys.

Shut up, Stamps!

Well, it looks like somebody had a good day of shopping.

Oh, I shopped, boys, but I did not have a good day.

I had to go extra shopping just to calm down!

I'm not sure that did the trick.

Boyce, I got accused of shoplifting at Cochere.

You know, it's across the street

from that new French toast on the stick place.

Do you know they bake the syrup inside?

- Yeah. - I know.

Anyway, babe, it was the worst.

The stupid security guard

followed me around the store the whole time.

You know what you guilty of?

Shopping while black.

- You got that right. - You know what?

Nobody's gonna racially profile my baby.

I'm going down there right now to take care of this.

You just going down there to get some of that French toast.

No, Daddy, I'm going to fight racism,

and if I happen to stumble upon several French toast on a stick,

then let it be said that I am hungry for justice!

This is Pastor Boyce Ballentine.

I'm at the Cochere store on Cherokee Street,

and as you can see, I'm not alone.

Security all up on me.

See, there he is right there.

Mm-hmm.

Look at this. $900 for this?

Right. Whoa--you see that?

Oh--hoo! He's a speedy little sucker, huh?

Well, I think I lost him.

No, no, nope. There he is.

Let's follow him.

Got you. Right there.

Huh?

I think the evidence is clear, church.

Cochere targeted me and my lovely wife, Lolli.

all: Mm-hmm. - Why?

Because they say we look suspicious.

- Mm-hmm. - What?

- Or urban. - Right.

- Or like a thug. - Say what?

You know what, I'm gonna just put it on out there.

They don't want our black asses in there, that's right.

Okay, hey. Okay--hey, hey.

Guys, do you have to do that now?

Oh, we could come back Monday.

Uh, no. No--no, no, no, no, no, no.

We need the AC working, so y'all carry on, okay.

You see, folks, it's just not the air conditioning

that's got me all hot and bothered.

It's the white man that...

Not--not you guys.

Y'all good.

When I look at you, I don't even see color.

Okay. Okay, listen.

Church, we got to make a stand.

- Tell it, son! - Yes.

Tell it.

And that's why I want to see each and every one of you

out in front of that store at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

They don't open 'til 10:00.

10:00 a.m. sharp.

all: Let us shop or we won't stop this protest.

both: What? all: This protest.

both: What?

all: Let us shop or we won't stop this protest.

both: What? all: This protest.

- What? - We will not be silenced, people.

all: No!

- We will not be placated. all: No.

We will not be--

distracted by French toast on a stick, Lester.

But--but Reverend, yours looked so good.

Well, I got here early to get mine.

We will not let Cochere treat us this way.

all: No. - That's right!

- Okay, I was followed. all: No.

- I was harassed! all: No.

I had somebody question the integrity of my bosom.

What do they want us to do, people, shop online?

all: No.

- We are not online people. all: No.

- We are tactile people. - That's right!

- We like to touch things. all: Yes.

- We like to browse. all: Yes.

- We like to peruse. all: Yes.

- Peruse! - I'm just putting it out there.

We like to put things on layaway.

all: Yes!

Keep up the fight, guys.

- Keep up the fight! all: Keep up the fight!

Stamps, what are you doing? Why are you late?

Bro, I'm sorry.

I was trying to get insurance money for my truck.

Check it--last night, I left it in a rough neighborhood

with the keys in it, and nobody even tried to steal it.

That's how unsupportive our people are of black businesses.

Stamps, are you aware the irony that we are here

protesting the stereotype that black people steal?

I am now. Proceed.

Reverend Ballentine, the manager has agreed to see you.

Yes! [cheers and applause]

Of course he has, because we are shining a light.

all: Yes!

I shall storm the castle. [cheers and applause]

Eyes up, Paul Blart.

- Thanks, baby. - Yeah.

Ooh.

Really? Baby, come on now.

During the revolution?

Who says the revolution can't smell nice?

Lolli, all right, I need you to focus here.

We 'bout to stick it to the man.

Reverend Ballentine, pleasure to meet you.

You're the manager?

I am, brother. Come here, man.

Oh, okay. We doing this.

- I ain't done. - Oh, oh--okay, all right.

My name is Laron Butterfield.

I can't believe Boyce the Voice is in my store.

I'm your biggest fan, I got all your CDs, man.

Well... Thank you, Laron.

Listen, I was in your store three days ago,

and I was followed around like a common criminal,

which I am not.

I am so sorry.

All right, look. I buy things.

I buy lots of things.

I would buy more things,

but all y'all real cute stuff come in itty bitty sizes.

I mean, not everybody is built like a 13-year-old boy.

That, sir, is the bigger problem.

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. You--you all on the grass.

I need you to get back on the road, okay?

Okay.

Look, Laron, this store has a pattern of racial profiling,

and we want it to stop.

All right, well, this is news to me.

I'm appalled, but trust me,

racist elements...

will not be tolerated in our store.

All right?

I got this.

For us, brother. You know?

Appreciate that.

- You know what I'm saying? - All right.

Okay, I hear a lot of talking,

but we are not leaving your store

until we get some action, brother.

You know, you're right,

and there's one action that I can take right now.

For your troubles, Mrs. Ballentine.

Just arrived from Italy. Would you...

Shut up!

$2,000?

Don't just stand there, boys, hug it out!

Hey--okay, all right.

My man. My man--okay.

Stamps, streets have it that you're having a problem

with a certain cupcake truck.

Oh, no, I don't have a problem with it.

I'm just trying to get it stolen

or burnt up so I can collect the insurance money.

Shh, hearing you talk like that somebody

could get the idea that you're committing insurance fraud.

Yes, insurance fraud, that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

Okay, you gonna stop talking.

I'll tell you what we gonna do.

Great, no more talking.

Really excited about the arson, though.

Church, our voices have been heard.

The protest is over. We won!

all: Yeah!

Oh, is--excuse me, Lolli?

- Is--is that a new purse? - Yes, yes it is.

It's just a gift from the management, that's all.

A little sign of respect to make up for all the disrespect.

They gave you a pocketbook and the problem went away?

Where's my pocketbook, pastor?

Okay, no. No--now, now, come on.

It's not like that.

Now, I know what you're thinking,

but the manager is black.

Mm-hmm.

All right, and he's a fan of my music.

All right, we hugged it out. We went up high.

We went down low.

We went in for this one right here.

We double tapped, we saluted.

We did all of it, all right? So it's good.

So it's good, everything's good.

- Everybody, come on, now. - No pocketbook.

You better not be--ma'am? You better not.

Hey, hey, hey, hey--hey! Hey?

Whoa, how much longer you guys gonna be?

Your company's called Three Day Heating and Air.

You've been here, like, two weeks.

Yeah, we get that a lot.

So the whole three day thing means nothing?

It's really more of a goal.

Baby, I am so proud of you.

You stood up for what was right.

Ooh! And got results.

Oh, it's no big deal.

I mean, the struggle knocked at my door, and I answered.

Maybe we could take the struggle to Tiffany's.

I need some new earrings.

Look who I found profiling me in the parking lot.

I wasn't profiling you.

I was trying to find the Reverend,

and you said, "Follow me."

You sure did.

Reverend Ballentine.

Mrs. Ballentine, you look lovely today.

Mm-hmm. Why are you here?

Because Laron called me a racist.

- And? - And I am not.

He totally threw me under the bus.

I was just following company policy.

Now, hold on. That's not what Laron said.

Laron isn't even the manager of our store.

The owner only called him in from our Richmond Heights store

to deal with the protest because you're...

- Black? - Can I say that?

Yeah, it--it's not a secret.

I can't believe Laron would do that to me; he's a fan.

Oh, please, Laron couldn't even name one of your songs.

I caught him Wikipedia-ing you just before you came in.

But he seemed so nice.

Lolli, that guy is what we used to call a "cooler."

They send him in to cool off angry black folk,

and, Boyce, he cooled you like a popsicle.

Church, look--we are back, and we are marching,

and we are madder than ever.

Why, Pastor?

Does Lolli need some boots to go with her new purse?

No, Lester, Lolli doesn't need boots to go with her purse.

Yeah, Lolli already bought boots to go with her new purse.

In--in fact, Lolli is ready to do the right thing

and give that purse back.

But Lolli just said she bought boots.

Look, church, I'll be the first one to admit

I got the wool pulled over my eyes.

You're not the first. We all said it yesterday.

Mm. Yeah.

Thanks for that clarification, Dad.

Listen, the fact is is that we've been hoodwinked,

and we are not going anywhere

until this owner agrees to talk with us

and Lolli can throw that purse back in his face.

All right, then.

That is a plan,

or I could keep it and show them that if they mess with us,

it's gonna cost them $2,000.

Wait, wait, wait.

That purse cost $2,000? Oh, now I do want one.

Okay, all right. Come on, Lolli.

We going in.

Oh, oh, we all deserve a purse, pastor.

- Yeah, we do deserve something. - We deserve a purse.

Stamps, Stamps?

The deed is done.

Great.

The deed means you burnt up the truck, right?

I-I-I-I don't know what you talking about.

The insurance fraud.

I know what you talking about, now stop talking about it.

Got you.

The good news is, I doubled my money.

How'd you do that?

Well, you know, I was wasting my money

on liability and collision and theft,

so I called up the insurance company

and said, "Put it all on fire."

And--and-- and you did this today.

Don't worry about it. I know what I'm doing.

I asked them specifically,

"Will this coverage be valid immediately?"

All right, yeah, look.

I don't know you.

Mr. Fiore, he'll be right out.

- Big fan, huh. - Mm-hmm.

What's your favorite song of mine?

Quick!

I Want to Have Sex With You.

With you, with you.

It's "witchoo," brother.

"Witchoo."

Hello. I'm Tom Fiore.

I'm Reverend Boyce Ballentine.

This is my wife, Lolli, and this is your purse.

Lo--come on, now. Lolli, let it go.

Bye-bye, sugar.

Let's cut to the chase, Reverend Ballentine.

How can you say I'm guilty of racially profiling?

I hired a black manager.

I voted for Obama... the first time.

And I love that Madea.

"Hellurr."

Sir, I think you fail to see the significance of your attitude.

For 400 years, black men and women

have faced indignities of racism, prejudice,

and discrimination.

No more!

We will not be silent.

You know, Pastor Boyce is right.

If you don't stand for something,

you'll fall for anything.

How about I promote you to regional manager?

You people need to chill, okay?

You--you--"you people?"

You should be a "you people" person!

So you're trying to tell me

that you treat your black customers

no differently than your white customers.

That's right.

So everybody's equal in this $900 a blouse store.

The only color I see is green.

Interesting. All right.

Fellas, come here.

Show Mr. Fiore what you have.

What the hell is going on here?

My friends--my white friends have been shoplifting

they asses off for the last 15 minutes.

Mm-hmm, and guess what?

Nobody stopped them.

Well, there's a perfectly good explanation for that.

Is the explanation that you're racist?

No...no...no.

All right, what do you want?

Fellas, put everything back.

First, I want you to apologize to my wife.

- Mrs. Ballentine. - Yeah.

I am sorry, and as a gesture, I would like to...

Shut up!

Give you this scarf.

A scarf?

I was way more offended than that.

No, Mr. Fiore, we cannot take your scarf.

I'm not gonna keep coming in here looking for justice

and leaving with accessories.

So what's it gonna take?

Reverend Ballentine's clever ruse has opened my eyes

to a serious issue.

That's right.

Discrimination at my store ends today.

I am instituting a new policy.

From now on, we will not be treating black customers

as potential criminals.

- All right! - Yes, yes!

We will be treating all customers

as potential criminals.

Well, that's equality.

You had to be a bit of a dick about it, but it's equality.

All right, our work here is done.

Victory party at our house!

I told you.

There's nothing in there.

I know, I...I love you!

Phil? Don't get choked.

Congratulations on your victory, son.

Ah, thank you, Daddy.

I couldn't have did it without everybody's help,

and I couldn't do this without everybody's help either.

Hey!

Hey, hey--pass that thing to me! Come on, come on!

Don't pass to Daddy, don't pass to Daddy.

Whatever you do.

Lester, get it, baby.

Oh--oh, oh.

- Oh. - Okay, okay.

All right, all right, Phil.

Hey--that's it, man. All right.

Come on, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

*

* The soul man