All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S03E04.Oh.My.Goddy.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED

IN FRONT OF
A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- OOH, COME ON, HONEY.

WE GOT TO HURRY.

OUR MOVIE DATE STARTS
IN 20 MINUTES.

- OKAY, I'M HURRYING, BABE.

I MEAN, I ONLY COVERED EIGHT
OUT OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

BESIDES, WE DON'T GO TO
A TYLER PERRY MOVIE TO WATCH IT.

- OOH, STOP,
YOUR SERMON JUST ENDED.

I'M SURE GOD IS STILL HANGING
AROUND IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

- NICE SERMON, SON.

MIGHTY PROGRESSIVE OF YOU

TO GIVE YOUR CONGREGATION
A PASS ON ADULTERY AND MURDER.

- REVEREND, NEXT WEEK,

CAN YOU JUST DO
FOUR COMMANDMENTS?

I GOT TO DRIVE UP
TO MY COUSIN'S.

LESTER, EVERYBODY KNOW THAT
YOUR COUSIN AIN'T YOUR COUSIN,

AND IF SHE IS, YOU NEED TO SPEND
MORE TIME IN CHURCH.

- WELL, IN SPITE OF YOUR BEING
TWO WEEKS BEHIND

ON THE CHURCH BUDGET

AND YOUR CALLOUS DISREGARD
FOR THE WORD,

YOU SOMEHOW MANAGED
TO GET YOURSELF NOMINATED

FOR THE GIFT OF DIVINITY
AWARD THIS YEAR.

- WHAT?

- I'M GETTING A GODDY?

- BABY, A GODDY.

HA HA!

- BABE, THIS IS
THE HIGHEST HONOR

TO BE BESTOWED UPON A MAN
OF THE CLOTH.

- YOU HAVEN'T WON ANYTHING YET.

AND DON'T GET YOUR
HOPES UP TOO HIGH.

NOW, YOU'RE A FIRST-TIME
NOMINEE,

AND ROOKIES NEVER WIN.

both: EXCEPT...

- ME.

I WON EVERY YEAR
FROM '82 TO '98,

AND THEN I JUST TOOK MYSELF
OUT OF THE RUNNING,

DIDN'T SEEM FAIR
TO THE LESSER PASTORS.

[laughs]

- WELL, DAD, THIS LESSER PASTOR
IS ABOUT TO WIN,

BECAUSE I'M NOT LESSER.

I AM MORE-ER.

- YOU BETTER HURRY, PASTOR.

IN ORDER TO ACCEPT
THIS NOMINATION,

YOU NEED TO TURN THIS PAPERWORK
IN BY 2:00 TODAY.

- WOW, THOSE GODDY PEOPLE,
THEY DON'T MESS AROUND, DO THEY?

HEY, BABE, LOOK,
I GOT TO GET ON THIS, SO...

both: RAIN CHECK.

- ON TYLER PERRY?

- OKAY, I'LL JUST GO

HANG OUT AT THE MALL,

AND YOU CAN MAKE YOUR
RAIN CHECK OUT TO CASH.

- HOLD ON, NOW.

I DON'T HATE
A TYLER PERRY MOVIE.

- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

JUST--JUST TAKE DAD.

- YOU KNOW, NORMALLY I'D FIND
A MAN IN A HOUSE DRESS

A LITTLE UNPLEASANT.

BUT WHEN TYLER DOES IT,
IT'S SOMETHING MAGICAL.

[Mouths "You owe me."]

[soul music]

♪

- STAMPS, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SHOULD I HAVE A CASE BUILT
FOR MY GODDY

OR JUST GO SIMPLE, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, PUT IT ON THE MANTLE

WITH A SMALL SPOTLIGHT
AND A LITTLE VIDEO PRESENTATION.

- BRO, AREN'T YOU GETTING
A LITTLE AHEAD OF YOURSELF?

I MEAN, YOU GOT TO WIN
THIS THING FIRST.

NOW, THERE ARE THOUSANDS

OF CHURCH VOTING MEMBERS
IN ST. LOUIS,

AND WE GOT TO REACH THEM
IN LESS THAN A WEEK.

SO WHO CAN WE COUNT ON?

- WELL, I MEAN, WE GOT
ALL OF MY PODCAST SUBSCRIBERS.

- OKAY, SO THAT'S SIX VOTES.

- ALL RIGHT, THERE'S THE MEMBERS
OF THE CHURCH.

THEN THERE'S THE CHOIR,

WHO IS ALWAYS SINGING
MY PRAISES.

♪ WHOO

- THAT'S NEVER AS CLEVER
AS YOU THINK IT IS, BOYCE.

- AH.

- LOOK, YOU GOT TO SEND OUT
A SOCIAL MEDIA BLITZ,

GET ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER,
INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR.

I'LL EVEN HELP YOU MAKE VIDEOS.

- LOOK, I MADE VIDEOS
FOR THE INTERNET BEFORE.

YOU REMEMBER EVERY YEAR
WHEN DADDY GOES TO WAR

WITH THE SQUIRRELS
IN THE FRONT YARD?

WELL, I DOCUMENT IT.

ALL THIS INTERNET STUFF IS COOL,
BUT YOU KNOW ME.

I LIKE FOR MY WORK
TO SPEAK FOR ITSELF.

- YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

IT WORKED OUT
SO WELL FOR YOU IN '93.

- DON'T YOU SAY IT.

- AND THE GRAMMY GOES TO...

- AL JARREAU.

- I HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE
TO THANK,

BUT I WANT TO START
BY TELLING YOU ABOUT

AN AMAZING MOMENT
IN MY LIFE.

- HOLD ON, AL.

I'MA LET YOU FINISH.

FIRST, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I
HAD THE BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR.

- COME ON, LUTHER,
THIS ISN'T THE PLACE.

- I'M NOT VANDROSS.

I'M THE VOICE, DAMN IT.

I WAS ROBBED.

Y'ALL HAD A PART IN IT.

HEY, PAULA ABDUL.

ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE
TAKING THOSE WITH LIQUOR, BABY?

HEY, LOOK, MY NEW ALBUM
HITS THE FLOOR APRIL 3RD.

GO TO BED, LYRIC!

[laughs]

- THE POINT IS, AL JARREAU
DID IT RIGHT, OKAY?

HE WENT ON THE ROAD.

HE TOOK OUT ADS.

HE GOT HIS FACE
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.

- I WANT MY GODDY.

I DESERVE MY GODDY.

I GUESS I'LL DO
WHATEVER IT TAKES,

EVEN IF IT MEANS SINKING
TO THE LEVELS OF AL JARREAU.

- SO, LISTEN,
I ORDERED SOME STUFF ONLINE,

AND I'M HAVING IT
DELIVERED HERE, OKAY?

- WHAT IS IT?

- OH, JUST STUFF.

- OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE ENTITLED
TO YOUR PRIVACY.

I'LL JUST OPEN IT
WHEN IT GETS HERE.

- FINE, IT'S JUST SOME SHOES
AND SOME OUTFITS

AND A STRIPPER POLE.

- A STRIPPER POLE?

- SHH!

- OH, SWEETIE.

DON'T GET A SECOND JOB.

JUST MAKE STAMPS PAY RENT.

- NO.

IT IS FOR STAMPS.

SEE, I'VE BEEN TAKING
THESE STRIPPER-CISE CLASSES.

- WHAT?

- AND IT IS TIME
FOR LIMBER KIMBER

TO MAKE HER DEBUT.

- YOU ARE BAD!

- WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW NEW LOVE IS.

WE ARE ALWAYS SENDING
EACH OTHER,

YOU KNOW, SEXY TEXTS.

IF I DON'T GET AT LEAST
THREE PICTURES A DAY

OF STAMPS' JUNK,
SOMETHING'S WRONG.

OH, COME ON.

YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE.

JUST THINK WAY-AY-AY BACK

TO WHEN YOU AND BOYCE USED TO BE
SPONTANEOUS AND FREAKY?

- WHAT YOU MEAN WAY BACK?

BOYCE AND I STILL GET IT IN.

OKAY, WE GO TO SEXY MOVIE DATES,
ROMANTIC PICNICS.

WE'RE GOING TO A JAZZ FESTIVAL
THIS WEEKEND.

- OH, I KNOW.

I VOLUNTEERED
AT THE SENIOR CENTER.

THEY WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

- LET ME LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
MISS KIMBERLY.

THAT IS ROMANTIC.

BOYCE AND I WENT ON OUR
FIRST DATE TO A JAZZ FESTIVAL,

AND WE'VE BEEN GOING
EVERY YEAR EVER SINCE.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE END UP JUST LIKE
YOU AND STAMPS.

[phone vibrating]

- [laughs]

- STAMPS JUST SENT YOU ANOTHER
PICTURE OF HIS JUNK, DIDN'T HE?

- HE THINKS HE DID,
BUT IT'S HIS THUMB.

- KEEP YOUR NUTS
OUT OF MY DRIVEWAY!

DON'T ACT LIKE
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME.

I'LL MAKE A HAT OUT OF YOU.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART
RIGHT THERE.

[doorbell rings]

- I GOT IT.

HEY, LESTER.

BLACK IS SLIMMING ON YOU, BRO.

- LESTER, HERE'S A QUESTION.

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE
HAPPY FEET?

- I WAS OVER AT ST. CATHERINE'S

SCOPING OUT
YOUR GODDY COMPETITION.

I JUST WANTED TO BLEND IN.

- WELL, COULDN'T YOU HAVE
DRESSED LIKE A PRIEST?

- RIGHT, RIGHT,
LIKE I GOT A PRIEST OUTFIT

JUST LAYING AROUND MY HOUSE.

- YOU RIGHT.
MY BAD.

I'M SORRY, SISTER.

WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?

- THE KEY WORD THIS YEAR
IS "BRANDING."

BISHOP JOHNSON
IS CALLING HIMSELF

THE MESSIAH OF MATRIMONY.

REVEREND WATERS IS
THE SHEPHERD OF GOD'S CHILDREN.

AND FATHER THOMPSON
IS CALLING HIMSELF

THE LORD'S HUMBLE SERVANT.

- WHOA, HE CAN'T BE THAT.

WE'RE ALL HUMBLE.

I'M THE BEST AT THAT.

- YO, BRO, WHAT YOU NEED
IS A BRAND, MAN.

YEAH, I MEAN, MAYBE YOU CAN

HIGHLIGHT YOUR WORK
WITH EX-CONS.

EXPAND YOUR SECOND CHANCE
MINISTRY BY GOING INTO PRISONS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, STAMPS?

THAT'S NOT BAD.

I CAN TOUCH THE HEARTS
OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS

BEFORE THEY ARE RELEASED

INTO THE COLD, HARD REALITIES
OF LIFE ON THE OUTSIDE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S GOOD;
TWEET THAT.

- I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU.

"BOYCE BALLENTINE
TOUCHES PRISONERS."

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WAIT, WAIT!

- YOU EVER STEP BAREFOOT
ON HALF A HICKORY NUT?

AND YOU CAN JUST HEAR 'EM
UP IN THE TREES SNICKERING.

- THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME
WITH THE BAGS, BARTON.

BOYCE, AM I GONNA HAVE TO START
LAYING OUT YOUR CLOTHES AGAIN?

- GOOD LORD, SON,
WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE,

TUPAC INSECURE?

- DAD, IT'S MY BRAND, ALL RIGHT?

I'M THE PASTOR
OF SECOND CHANCES.

SO I'M ABOUT TO GO DOWN
TO THE PRISON,

GET A LITTLE PHOTO OP IN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

TALK TO 'EM ON THEIR LEVEL,

LET 'EM KNOW
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT,

THAT THE BIBLE IS A REAL BOOK,
HOMIE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?

LIKE, IF YOU GONNA GET BAPTIZED,

AND YOU GO UP UNDER THAT WATER,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

ONCE YOU GO UP
UNDER THAT WATER,

YOU KNOW, YOU COME UP
MORE THAN JUST REFRESHED.

YOU BE REBORN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- I GOT TO CALL STAMPS
AND TELL HIM HE'S MY FAVORITE.

- BOYCE, I'M CONFUSED.

HOW CAN YOU BE AT THE PRISON

IF YOU'RE AT
THE JAZZ FESTIVAL WITH ME?

AND KEEP IN MIND,

I'M NOT AS CONFUSED
AS I JUST SAID I WAS.

- I KNOW, BABE.

LOOK, I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT?

WE'LL MAKE OUR OWN SWEET MUSIC
LATER ON TONIGHT.

I PROMISE.
- PROMISE?

- I PROMISE.

NOW, I GOT TO BOUNCE, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL HOLLA!

- YOU KNOW, I DON'T HATE
A JAZZ FESTIVAL.

I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME

I DANCED WITH LENA HORNE
AT THE MONTEREY FESTIVAL?

- YOU TOLD ME
THE FIRST TIME WE MET.

- IT WAS 1972, AND I JUST GOT
HOME FROM THE WAR...

- SO, MY INCARCERATED BROTHERS,

AS IT SAYS ON THE MONEY

THAT YOU ARE
SO FOND OF STEALING,

IN GOD WE TRUST.

AND I AM GONNA SHOW
SOME TRUST IN YOU.

TRUST EXERCISE.

[applause]

THANK YOU.

- REVEREND, WE HAVE TIME
FOR ONE MORE SHOT.

- OH, GOOD.
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

SON, HOW ABOUT YOU?

- AWESOME, I NEVER GET PICKED.

- ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

- AND ONE MORE, LES.

NO, NO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

- OH, SORRY, HABIT.

- OH.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE
WOULD I BE SENDING

IF I PREACHED TRUST

STANDING NEXT TO
A MAN IN SHACKLES.

UNCHAIN THIS MAN.

- I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO,

BUT FOR BOYCE THE VOICE,

I GUESS I CAN BEND THE RULES.

- GOOD, GOOD.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON?

- UH, JONES, SIR.

ESCAPEY JONES.

- ESCAPEY?

YOUR NAME IS ESCAPEY.

OKAY, LESTER, COME ON.

- EVERYBODY SAY
"GOOD BEHAVIOR."

- GOOD BEHAVIOR.

- OH!
- WE GOT A RUNNER!

- ESCAPEY JONES,
YOU GET BACK HERE!

I TRUSTED YOU.

[gunshot]

- HA!
YOU MISSED ME.

[gunshot]

OKAY, YOU GOT ME THAT TIME.

- ARE THOSE RUBBER BULLETS?

OOH!

- ALL I KNOW IS, ON TUESDAY,
BOYCE BALLENTINE WASN'T THERE,

AND I DIDN'T GET SHOT.

ON WEDNESDAY,
BOYCE BALLENTINE WAS THERE,

AND I DID GET SHOT.

COINCIDENCE?

I THINK NOT.

- MAN THIS THING IS A NIGHTMARE.

- HEY, HEY,
I WOULDN'T WORRY, PASTOR.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST
ONE LITTLE VIDEO

ON THE INTERNET
AMONGST MILLIONS.

I BET IT HARDLY HAS ANY HITS.

OH!

OH.

- BOYCE, WHAT IS GOING ON?

- EVERYBODY AT THE SALON
IS TALKING ABOUT YOU.

- DID YOU GET A GUY SHOT?
- LOLLI, COME ON.

YOU KNOW HOW THESE THINGS
CAN BE BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION

AT A HAIR SALON.

- OKAY, THEN, WHAT HAPPENED?

- I GOT A GUY SHOT.

I MEAN, NOT EXACTLY.

BUT HE WOULDN'T HAVE RUN
IF I HADN'T TOLD THE GUARD

TO TAKE OFF HIS SHACKLES

BECAUSE I WANTED
A BETTER PHOTO OP.

I GOT TO GO FIX THIS.

- WAIT, WHAT?
NOW?

BOYCE, WHAT ABOUT
OUR SEXY MUSIC DATE?

YOU PROMISED ME.

- LOOK, BABE.

I GOT TO GO MAKE THIS RIGHT
WITH THIS MAN,

AND THEN I'M GONNA BE
AT THE CHURCH ALL NIGHT,

DOING THE CHURCH BUDGET REVIEW.

[sighs]

I'LL HOLLA.

- I LOVED THAT LAST PICTURE
YOU SENT ME.

- OH, YEAH?
- MM-HMM.

- MM-HMM.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
- OKAY.

[cell phone beeps]

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- KIM, REMEMBER WHEN I SAID
ME AND BOYCE STILL GOT IT IN?

WE DON'T.

WE DON'T GET IT IN.

WE DON'T GET IT OUT.

WE DON'T GET ANYWHERE NEAR IT.

- AH, COME ON.

YOU GUYS STILL MAKE TIME
FOR EACH OTHER.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOVIES
AND YOUR JAZZ CONCERTS?

I DID ALL THAT STUFF
WITH BARTON.

BOYCE IS SO BUSY,

AND IT'S NOT JUST
THE GODDY STUFF.

IT'S ALL THE STUFF
AT THE CHURCH.

IT'S LIKE THE CHURCH
IS THE OTHER WOMAN

EXCEPT I CAN'T CUSS IT OUT
AND KEY ITS CAR.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU NEED TO SHOW THAT MAN
WHAT HE'S MISSING?

- OH, KIM, STOP.

I CANNOT TAKE NAKED PICTURES
FOR MY PASTOR HUSBAND.

AND BESIDES, YOU CAN'T SQUEEZE
ALL THIS GOODNESS

INTO A FOUR-INCH SCREEN.

- WELL, YOU NEED TO FIND
SOME WAY TO GET HIS ATTENTION.

[doorbell rings]

- RIGHT, BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

[sighs]

- I'VE GOT A DELIVERY
FOR KIMBERLY TAYLOR.

- I NEED GOD
TO GIVE ME A SIGN.

- ENJOY YOUR STRIPPER POLE.

- KIM?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

THIS IS DIVINE
STRIPPER-VENTION.

I NEED TO PUT MY SOUL
ON YOUR POLE TO GET MY MAN BACK.

- ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT
I FORGOT WHAT WAS IMPORTANT.

NOW, I THOUGHT I WANTED TO

MINISTER TO PEOPLE
LIKE YOURSELF,

BUT REALLY ALL I WANTED
WAS AN AWARD,

AND I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THAT.

BUT I DIDN'T GET YOU SHOT.

THAT'S ON YOU.

- I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED
THE POSSIBILITY

THAT THIS WAS MY FAULT.

I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS BLAMED
MY PROBLEMS ON OTHER PEOPLE,

YOU KNOW, THE STORE CLERK THAT
WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE MONEY...

- OKAY.

- CAB DRIVER THAT WOULDN'T
GIVE ME THE MONEY,

BANK TELLER THAT WOULDN'T
GIVE ME THE MONEY.

- YEAH, I'M STARTING TO SEE
A PATTERN HERE.

- PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TO GIVE YOU
THE MONEY.

- REALLY?

THAT'S THE ONLY MESSAGE
YOU GOT OUT OF THIS?

- OKAY, OKAY.

I'VE SEEN NOW HOW THIS MIGHT'VE
BEEN PARTLY M--

ALL MY FAULT.

- THERE YOU GO, SEE?

THERE YOU GO.

THAT'S A START RIGHT THERE.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE ONE DAY,
INSTEAD OF ESCAPEY JONES,

PEOPLE WILL START CALLING YOU
"MY FAULTY" JONES.

- MAYBE THEY WILL.

- [laughs]

OR "I DID IT" JONES.

- HA!

- OR "THE DEVIL DIDN'T
MAKE ME DO IT" JONES.

[laughter]

- OH.
- WHAT?

- [gasps]
- WHAT'S WRONG?

ARE YOU HAVING
A HEART ATTACK?

- YEP.
- OKAY.

HELP!

BRING THE CRASH CART
AND THE ZAPPY PADDLES!

STAT!

[glass breaking]

- ESCAPEY!

- IT'S OKAY.

I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY
FOR MY ACTIONS THIS TIME.

- COME AND GET YOUR
OFFERING, PASTOR.

[keys jangling]

[sensual music playing]

♪

HELLO, PREACHER MAN.

[screams]

BARTON!
- LOLLI!

GENTLEMEN, THIS MEETING
OF THE ETHICS COMMITTEE

IS NOW ADJOURNED.

I SAID ADJOURNED!

LOLLI BALLENTINE, WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

- CAN YOU PLEASE
HAND ME MY ROBE?

IT'S OVER THERE
WITH MY DIGNITY.

- MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU
SAID TO ESCAPEY, BUT IT WORKED.

HE'S ALL OVER THE INTERNET
TALKING ABOUT

HOW YOU TURNED HIS LIFE AROUND.

I'M TELLING YOU, BRO,

YOU GOT THIS GODDY THING
ON LOCK.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, SAVING SOULS
IS WHAT I DO.

I BET YOU I KNOW WHO DIDN'T
SAVE A SOUL TODAY:

AL JARREAU.

[laughter]

- YEAH, MAN,
I BET HE'S JUST SITTING AROUND,

SHINING HIS OLD GRAMMY.

WHO WANTS SUGAR IN THEIR TEA?

I DO.

- HEY, SON.
- HEY.

- YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR WIFE.

- WELL, EVERYBODY'S
GOT THAT PROBLEM, RIGHT?

HA, HA, HA!

I'LL JUST PUT THIS IN MY POCKET
FOR LATER.

- I'M SERIOUS, SON.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SPENDING
ENOUGH TIME WITH HER,

AND SHE'S LONELY.

- LONELY?

DAD, WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?

- LET'S JUST SAY SHE BARED
HER SOUL TO ME

AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

- SHE UNDERSTANDS
THE DEMANDS OF A PASTOR.

- SHE MIGHT UNDERSTAND HERE,
BUT NOT HERE.

NOW, I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY
MY FAULT YOU'RE HELL-BENT

ON WINNING THIS AWARD.

ALWAYS LORDING MY VICTORIES
OVER YOU,

WHICH PROBABLY ISN'T RIGHT.

- I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE UP
TO YOUR LEGACY, DADDY.

- WELL, DON'T.

YOUR WORK IN THE CHURCH IS NOT
THE ONLY THING THAT'S IMPORTANT.

YOUR MOTHER USED TO STAND BY ME
AND NOT COMPLAIN EITHER,

AND WE JUST GREW
FURTHER AND FURTHER AND APART

UNTIL ONE DAY, I WOKE UP
WITH 16 GODDYS AND NO WIFE.

DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN
TO YOU, SON.

- OH, YOU NEVER TOLD ME
HOW YOUR POLE DANCE WENT.

WAS IT WELL-RECEIVED?

- DON'T BRING IT UP,

DON'T EVER MENTION IT AGAIN.

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR YOUR POLE,

IT'S IN THE DUMPSTER
BEHIND THE CHURCH.

- I WAS JUST TRYING TO--

- I SAID DON'T ASK.

- OH.
- LADIES?

- HI, KIM.

EVENING, MRS. BALLENTINE.

OOH, LET'S GO.

I WANT TO GRAB GOOD SEATS BEFORE
THE ORTHODOX JEWS GET HERE.

SO MANY HATS.

- HEY.
HEY, BABE.

- MM.

HEY, HONEY.

IT'S YOUR BIG NIGHT.

LET'S GET YOU IN THERE
AND GET THAT GODDY.

- HEY, LISTEN, LOLLI.

I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL,
AMAZING WOMAN I'VE EVER KNOWN,

AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE.

- OKAY.

THANKS?

I FEEL LIKE YOU
DID SOMETHING WRONG,

BUT I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW
WHAT IT IS.

- NO, I'M JUST SAYING IT

BECAUSE I HADN'T SAID IT
IN A LONG TIME, SO...

- BUT, BOYCE,
THE CEREMONY IS THIS WAY.

- I KNOW.

BUT OUR HOTEL ROOM...

- [gasps]

- AND THE JAZZ FESTIVAL
IS THIS WAY.

HAPPY FIRST DATE ANNIVERSARY,
BABE.

- OH!

I KNEW IT!

I KNEW WE STILL GOT IT IN.

HA, HA!

I GOT TO TEXT MY SISTER
AND RUB IT IN HER FACE.

- OH, DID YOU SEE
THAT LAST TEXT I SENT YOU?

- OH.

- YEAH.

- OH!

[laughs]

- THAT'S ALL ME, TOO.

- CONGRATULATIONS, PASTOR.

YOUR GODDY.

[applause]

- OH, MAN, THIS IS NICE.

BABE, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

- I SURE DID.

CAN WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG?

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE
HAS TAUGHT ME

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IN LIFE.

YOU KNOW,
WHEN I FIRST THINK BACK

TO WHEN I PUT ON
MY ECCLESIASTICAL ROBE--

- OH, HE'S MAKING A SPEECH.

I DIDN'T BRING THE RIGHT SHOES
FOR THIS.

- SON.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D BE SHARING

MY WALL OF FAME WITH YOU,
BUT...

[applause]

- HOLD ON, DADDY.

THIS PICTURE LOOKS LIKE

ALL THE OTHER ONES
THAT ARE UP THERE.

HOW'S ANYBODY GONNA KNOW
THAT'S MY AWARD.

WELL, NEXT TIME
ACCEPT YOUR OWN DAMN AWARD.

- CONGRATULATIONS, BRO.

- VERY NICE.
- THANK YOU.

- [clears throat]

- WHO WAS--
WHO WAS THAT MAN?

AND WHY DID HE JUST
WINK AT YOU?

- I BELIEVE THE MORE IMPORTANT
QUESTION IS,

WHY DID BROTHER DAVIS
JUST WINK AT YOU?

- BOYCE, WHY ARE YOU ASKING
ALL THESE QUESTIONS WHEN--

WHEN WE COULD BE AT HOME,
GETTING IT IN?

COME ON.

- ALL RIGHT.

WHOA.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

BABE, DO YOU THINK STAMPS
AND YOUR SISTER

BEEN IN MY OFFICE AGAIN?

- YEP.

YEP.

- I'M GONNA TALK TO THAT BOY.

♪

♪ THE SOUL MAN