Original subtitles

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

HELLO, MR. PRESIDENT.

WHAT'S UP, BARACK?

OH, I'M YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST?

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT ME TONIGHT. IT'S ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW.

- ARE YOU TALKING TO IMAGINARY BARACK OBAMA?

- YEAH, THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN.

- MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.

- HELLO, IMAGINARY MRS. OBAMA.

WELL, YES.

I HAVE WORN THIS DRESS BEFORE.

BOYCE, MICHELLE SAID YOU NEED TO BUY ME A NEW DRESS.

- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE IMAGINARY MALL

AND USE YOUR IMAGINARY CREDIT CARD,

'CAUSE [murmurs]...

- BOYCE, STOP IT. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BRING ME DOWN.

NOW, THIS IS EXCITING. - IT IS.

- WE ACTUALLY GET TO MEET THE FIRST COUPLE.

- WITH V.I.P. TICKETS, BABY. - OOH!

ALL I KNOW IS THAT FOR $5,000 A PLATE,

THEY BETTER NOT BE SERVING CHICKEN.

- BABE, THE PRESIDENT IS BLACK.

THEY GONNA BE SERVING CHICKEN.

WHAT TIME IS LYRIC AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND GETTING HERE?

- ANY MINUTE NOW.

AND I'M TELLING YOU SOMETHING, BOYCE:

DO NOT BE HARD ON THIS KID.

OKAY, LYRIC REALLY LIKES HIM.

AND HE'S TRYING.

HE SENT ME TWO DOZEN ROSES

AND A POUND OF CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES. HUH?

- HE DIRECTS MUSIC VIDEOS.

WHICH MEANS THAT HE'S IN SHOW BUSINESS.

WHICH MEANS HE KNOWS HOW TO SCHMOOZE.

WE'RE LUCKY HE DIDN'T SEND TWO HOOKERS AND A POUND OF COCAINE.

[doorbell rings]

- BOYCE, THAT'S THEM.

- OH, YEAH, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

- [prolonged] STOP IT.

YOU ARE NOT GONNA TORTURE THIS KID.

- THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF MEETING HIM?

INTIMIDATING YOUNG PUNKS THAT YOUR DAUGHTER BRINGS HOME

IS A TRADITION.

WHEN I MET YOUR FATHER,

HE HAD A SHOVEL AND ASKED ME HOW TALL I WAS.

- [together] OBAMA WEEKEND!

[both laugh]

- HEY, DADDY! - HEY, BABY GIRL.

- OH! - ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, WELL, LET'S JUST GET THINGS STARTED.

WHERE'S THIS JESSE FELLA? I'MA GO EASY ON HIM.

- OKAY, MOM, DAD...

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET JESSE.

- LOLLI?

YOU ARE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOUR PICTURES.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND-- I WAS CREEPING ON YOUR FACEBOOK.

AND YOU MUST BE "BOYCE THE VOICE."

I HEARD YOU LIKE CUBAN CIGARS. THERE'S ONE MISSING.

I TRADED IT FOR AN iPAD. THEY ARE THAT GOOD.

- WHO--WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

- THIS IS JESSE.

- OWENS?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

OKAY, WE'RE GETTING PUNK'D, RIGHT?

WE'RE GETTING PUNK'D RIGHT NOW.

THE REAL JESSE'S OUT HERE WITH HIS CAMERA, RIGHT?

[laughs]

COME ON IN, JESSE! I ALREADY LIKE YOU.

IT'S FUNNY, RIGHT HERE.

IS THAT HIM?

ON THE SKATEBOARD? THAT'S HIM, RIGHT?

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ HEY

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

- LOLLI, BEAUTIFUL HOME.

- THANK YOU. AND THANK YOU FOR THE FLOWERS.

- AND, UH, BOYCE?

[clears throat]

UH, BOYCE?

I'M A BIG FAN.

I GREW UP ON YOUR MUSIC.

- LIAR!

- BOYCE!

YOU DO NOT USE THE WORD "LIAR" IN THIS HOUSE.

- BABY, LOOK AT HOW OLD THIS MAN IS.

WE GREW UP ON THE EXACT SAME MUSIC.

- COME ON.

YOU KNOW THE O'JAYS, THE COMMODORES, THE INK SPOTS.

- THE INK SPOTS? HOW OLD ARE YOU?

- DADDY, YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME.

- OH, YOU BRING HOME GEORGE JEFFERSON,

AND I'M EMBARRASSING YOU?

- HONEY, THAT WAS A SITCOM FROM THE '70s.

GEORGE JEFFERSON WAS A FEISTY LITTLE DRY CLEANER,

AND USUALLY-- - OH, NO. NO, NO, NO...

YOU DO NOT EXPLAIN THE JEFFERSONSTO MY DAUGHTER.

I'LL EXPLAIN THE JEFFERSONS TO MY DAUGHTER.

THIS IS MY HOUSE!

- THAT'S THE WALK THAT GEORGE JEFFERSON USED TO DO!

CAN YOU DO THAT?

- OKAY, YOU HAVE GOT TO CALM DOWN!

- BABE, DO YOU SEE HOW OLD THAT MAN IS?

HE'S ONLY DATING OUR DAUGHTER SO HE CAN HAVE SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON.

- BOYCE, YOU GOTTA DO ME A FAVOR.

I NEED YOU TO SNEAK SOME OF MY CUPCAKES

INTO THE OBAMA EVENT TONIGHT.

- STAMPS, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

- NO, CHECK IT.

I'VE COME UP WITH A KALE CUPCAKE,

AND IT'S ACTUALLY DELICIOUS.

NOW IF I CAN GET MICHELLE OBAMA TO ENDORSE THE MASTERPIECE,

I'LL BE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE CUPCAKE BUSINESS,

AND I'LL REALIZE MY DREAM. - WHICH IS WHAT?

- TO GET OUT OF THE DAMN CUPCAKE BUSINESS.

- LOLLI, I NEED YOU TO CALL OUR ATTORNEY.

TELL IRVIN TO COME BAIL ME OUT OF JAIL IN EXACTLY TWO HOURS.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- YOUR NIECE DONE BROUGHT HOME A NEW BOYFRIEND:

LOU GOSSETT, SR., IN THERE.

- THAT'S HER GUY?

DID SHE MEET HIM POWER WALKING IN THE MALL?

YO, I'M GONNA GO CHECK THE DUDE OUT.

- BABY, DO WE HAVE AN EXTENSION CORD FOR THIS?

I JUST NEED IT TO REACH FROM HERE TO HIS THROAT.

- BOYCE, GIVE ME THIS, ALL RIGHT?

I AGREE--THAT MAN IS WAY TOO OLD FOR LYRIC.

BUT THIS IS A PHASE. SHE'S NOT SERIOUS ABOUT HIM.

BUT THIS IS GONNA PASS

JUST LIKE WHEN SHE DATED THE POET AND BALLOON-ANIMAL GUY.

- OOH, I LIKED HIM: HE MADE ME A HOT-PINK GIRAFFE.

- MY POINT IS, BOYCE, HE'S GONE, ALL RIGHT?

THEY ALL ARE, AND HE WILL BE TOO.

WE CANNOT LET THIS RUIN OBAMA WEEKEND, OKAY?

MICHELLE IS GONNA SEE ME IN MY DRESS, ALL RIGHT?

I JUST WANT YOU TO GRIN AND BEAR IT, BABY, PLEASE.

SHOW ME THAT BOYCE BALLENTINE SMILE.

- ALL RIGHT.

- WELL, A LITTLE BIGGER?

BIGGER? OOH.

THAT'S A LITTLE TOO STEVE HARVEY.

BRING IT DOWN.

THERE YOU GO. COME ON.

- ARR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRRUH! - WHOO!

- WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?

- WOW, BOYCE, YOU GOTTA LET JESSE GET HIS HANDS ON YOU.

- NO, I BELIEVE HE'S HAD HIS HANDS ON ENOUGH BALLENTINES.

- WHOA, AND CHECK IT OUT.

JESSE'S GONNA TO GET ME INTO THE OBAMA EVENT TONIGHT.

HE'S TIGHT WITH BARACK.

- HE DIRECTED ONE OF HIS CAMPAIGN VIDEOS.

MY MAN'S DOING BIG THINGS.

[laughs]

- OH! - UHH!

- I'M GONNA GO BAKE SOME MORE CUPCAKES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MICHELLE OBAMA'S GONNA GO TO BED TONIGHT

AND HAVE A LITTLE PIECE OF ME INSIDE OF HER.

- WAIT, HE'S NOT GONNA SAY THAT IN FRONT OF OBAMA, IS HE?

LISTEN, DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I USE YOUR RESTROOM?

THAT DRIVE TODAY WAS LONG, AND MY PROSTATE? OOH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BOYCE.

- TO THE RIGHT.

COME LITTLE ONE.

HERE, SIT. [sighs]

- WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

WHERE DID YOU MEET THIS GUY?

- OH, HE DIRECTED MY LAST MUSIC VIDEO.

WE STARTED HANGIN' AND SOMETHING CLICKED.

- YEAH, PROBABLY HIS DENTURES.

- DAD...

[loud urination]

- LYRIC, WHY?

WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DATE SOMEBODY YOUR DADDY'S AGE?

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT OLD MEN ARE GROSS?

- HEY!

- IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

LISTEN, ALL RIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO THE FIRST TIME HE ASKS YOU

TO SHAVE HIS EARLOBES?

- I ASKED YOU TO DO THAT ONE TIME.

- LYRIC, EVERYTHING STARTS TO GO.

THE BACK GOES OUT, THE HEARING GOES OUT,

THE MEMORY STARTS TO GO...

[urination continues, stops]

SHHH, HE'S COMING.

[urination continues]

AND THEN THERE'S THAT!

THAT'S NONSTOP ALL NIGHT LONG!

[urination stops] - WELL, YOU'VE GOT YOUR NERVE.

YOU PEE WHEN YOU SNEEZE.

- LOOK, YOU TWO HAVE NEVER LIKED ANY OF MY BOYFRIENDS.

[urination continues] JESSE'S A GREAT GUY.

ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM, YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE HIM.

[urination stops] - HE'S COMING.

SHH, SHH, SHH.

- BEAUTIFUL BATHROOM.

WERE THOSE VINTAGE TIFFANY PENDANT LIGHTS?

- YES! THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

- YEAH, WELL, I NOTICED SOMETHING TOO.

I NOTICED YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS.

- DAD!

- OH, BEFORE I FORGET,

LET'S JUST PULL THIS OUT.

I, UH, GOT THIS FROM THE BEYONCE AND JAY Z WEDDING.

- SHUT UP!

- THE WEDDING WAS BANANAS.

THE GIFT BASKET HAD A LLAMA IN IT.

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEED THE THING.

- I'LL GET A OPENER.

[giggling]

- LOLLI.

- WHAT?

NOW I GOTTA HATE WINE?

- [giggling]

BOYCE, THERE'S MICHELLE OVER THERE.

THAT MEANS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

IS SOMEWHERE IN THIS HOUSE.

[high-pitched] BOYCE, I'M SO EXCITED.

OOH, BOYCE.

I FORGOT TO CUT THE TAG OFF MY DRESS.

ALL RIGHT, I NEED YOU TO BITE IT OFF, GRACEFULLY.

- BUT, BABE, WHAT IF YOU WANNA RETURN IT?

- BOYCE, I CAN'T RETURN A DRESS THAT I WORE TO SEE

THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

- OKAY. LOOK, BABE-- WOW.

HE'S ONLY HALF BLACK.

YOU PAID FULL PRICE FOR THIS DRESS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA TUCK IT RIGHT UP IN THERE.

THERE--THERE IT IS.

OH, THERE'S JESSE.

LET ME GO TALK TO HIM.

- OH, NO, NO, BOYCE. BOYCE.

I THOUGHT WE AGREED WE WERE JUST GONNA IGNORE JESSE

UNTIL HE GOES AWAY.

YOU CAN'T COME UP IN HERE MAKING A SCENE

IN FRONT OF THE OBAMAS.

- BABE, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE A SCENE.

I JUST WANNA GO OVER THERE

AND QUIETLY PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO HIM.

- AND YOU THINK THAT DON'T SOUND LIKE A SCENE?

- LOOK, I LOOKED UP THIS JESSE ON THE INTERNET.

HE'S NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

HE DATES ONE WOMAN AFTER THE OTHER.

AND I GET IT.

I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T WANT A NICE LITTLE YOUNG LADY

ON YOUR ARM IN YOUR MIDDLE AGES,

HANGING OFF YOU LIKE A LITTLE PIECE OF ARM CANDY,

YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I HAVE.

YOU KNOW, AND I'M SAYING TO THEM,

WHY SHOULDN'T THEY HAVE THAT TOO?

OKAY.

- WELL, LOLLI, THIS IS MY MOMENT.

I'M GONNA GIVE MICHELLE OBAMA MY CUPCAKE.

OH, MY GOSH, LOOK AT HER.

SHE'S LIKE THE PERFECT WOMAN.

I MEAN, SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART AND CLASSY.

OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? WHO AM I KIDDING?

I CAN'T TALK TO HER.

- OF COURSE YOU CAN, STAMPS.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO.

- LOLLI, SHE'S THE FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES.

I'M JUST A COMMON CUPCAKE MAKER.

- REPEAT AFTER ME.

YOU IS KIND.

YOU IS SMART.

YOU IS IMPORTANT.

- SO THE CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE.

WE'RE BOTH MEN OF THE WORLD, HUH?

WE KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. - OH, YEAH.

- WHO WOULDN'T WANT A YOUNG LADY ON THEIR ARM?

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. - THEY ARE EXCITING.

- EASY TO PLEASE. - THEY ARE IF YOU DO IT RIGHT.

- THIS IS JUST NOT FUN ANYMORE.

UH, LISTEN.

LYRIC BALLENTINE IS NOT LIKE THAT.

I KNOW MY DAUGHTER.

SHE'S IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL.

SO ANYTHING SHORT OF THAT, WELL, IT'S NOT FAIR TO HER.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, BOYCE.

I REALLY HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR LYRIC,

AND I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK I'M JUST STRINGING HER ALONG.

LET ME TALK TO HER.

- GOOD.

SO WE SEE EYE TO EYE? - YEAH.

- THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW.

WE'RE IN AN EYE-TO-EYE SITUATION.

- YES. - ALL RIGHT.

- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT.

- I IS IMPORTANT. - YES!

- ALL RIGHT, OKAY. I'M GOIN' IN.

- HEY, BABE.

- WHAT HAPPENED? - YOU'RE GONNA BE PROUD.

YOUR MAN HANDLED HIS BUSINESS.

AND JUST GOT RID OF MORGAN FREEMAN OVER THERE.

- AND YOU DID IT ALL WITHOUT MAKING A SCENE.

OH, HONEY. [gasps]

I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE SAYING NOW.

- OH, HE'S SAYING, "I'M SORRY, LYRIC.

BUT YOU ARE TOO HONORABLE OF A WOMAN FOR ME."

AND SHE'S GOING, "BUT YOU ARE MY SPECIAL SOMETHING-SOMETHING."

- "I WISH I COULD BE, BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE,

I'M A DOUCHE BAG."

- WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

WH--WHAT IS GOING ON, BOYCE?

- HOPEFULLY, HE'S JUST HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

- YES! YES, OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!

[squealing] OH, MY GOSH! - MARRY HIM?

- OH, MY GOD! - THE HELL SHE WILL! UH-UH.

- EXCUSE ME, FOLKS. CAN I SEE YOUR WRIST BANDS?

- OH, NO, NO, WE'RE GOOD. - YEAH, WE GOOD, WE STRAIGHT.

- THAT COLOR INDICATES YOU'RE IN THE WRONG AREA.

- LOOK... - FOLLOW ME.

- I JUST NEED TO TALK TO THAT GUY RIGHT THERE WITH--

HE'S TRYING TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

- KEEP WALKING, SIR. - COME ON.

I SAID I'M TRYING TO-- - KEEP MOVING, SIR.

- THIS IS ITALIAN! THIS IS ITALIAN!

LOOK, MAN, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE.

WE ARE V.I.P.

WE GOT RED WRIST BANDS. - RIGHT.

- WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE WITH THESE MOVIE EXTRAS!

CUT, AND SCENE.

GOOD JOB, GUYS.

- [knocks on window] MA'AM!

GET HIM! NO, THE ONE NEXT TO HIM!

THE ONE KISSING THE CHILD IN THE MOUTH!

- SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.

- MAN, I'M AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.

I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT TO.

- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A FREE TRIP TO GUANTANAMO BAY?

- WHY--WHY WOULD YOU THREATEN ME LIKE THAT, MAN? COME ON.

THIS IS AN EVENT ABOUT LOVE, MAN.

THIS IS BARACK OBAMA NOW.

COME ON, MAN.

DO IT FOR THE VINE. - HE AIN'T GONNA DO IT.

- DO IT FOR THE VINE. - HE AIN'T GONNA DO IT.

- HE AIN'T GONNA DO IT, BABY.

- BOYCE, OUR BABY IS ABOUT TO MARRY A MAN TWICE HER AGE.

SHE'S ABOUT TO MARRY A MAN YOUR AGE!

AND IF YOU CAN'T STOP THIS, I WILL.

HOLD MY PURSE.

HELLO, HANDSOME.

UM, I KNOW YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO,

BUT IF YOU WOULD JUST LET ME AND MY GIRLS

SQUEEZE PAST YOUR ROCK-HARD BODY,

I WOULD BE SO GRATEFUL.

[giggles]

- I'M GAY.

- UH, WELL... [stammers]

- WOW.

BABE, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

YOU AND THE GIRLS COULDN'T GET PAST A BOUNCER.

[chuckles] - NICE, BOYCE.

AS IF THIS NIGHT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH!

[sighs]

- FORGET THE ASCOT, THE POCKET SQUARE.

FORGET THE LITTLE BLACK BOW TIE AND STUFF.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MR. COOL. HE FROM CHICAGO.

HE NEED TO STEP HIS GAME UP TO REPRESENT FOR THE BRAHS.

WHILE YOU LOOKING ALL GOOD IN A DRESS AND EVERYTHING...

- HERE YOU GUYS ARE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

- MOM, DAD, WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE IT.

JESSE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM, AND I SAID YES.

- WHAT? THIS IS CRAZY!

- AND IT GETS BETTER.

- IT WOULD ALMOST HAVE TO.

- WHEN THE OBAMAS HEARD,

THEY OFFERED TO FLY US TO HAWAII ON AIR FORCE ONE

SO WE CAN GET MARRIED ON THE BEACH.

WE LEAVE TONIGHT.

both: WHAT? TONIGHT? - YEAH!

- HOW 'BOUT THAT, BOYCE?

A WEDDING YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR.

EXCEPT FOR WITH YOUR TAX DOLLARS.

- OH, TELL ME EVERYTHING.

BOYCE, THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR.

STOP ACTING LIKE A PREACHER AND START ACTING LIKE A THUG.

- OH, NO, IT'S OKAY, FRANK.

SHE'S WITH ME. COME ON.

- [snaps]

- YOU WANNA TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THERE?

I THOUGHT WE HAD THE EYE-TO-EYE THING.

- WE DID!

THAT LITTLE TALK WE HAD REALLY SET ME STRAIGHT.

I WAS AFRAID I WAS GONNA LOSE LYRIC.

I NEVER MET A WOMAN LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, KIND, SWEET.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET TO BE OUR AGE,

WE KNOW WHAT'S REAL.

- OH, WELL, THAT IS JUST NICE.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

I SWEAR I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY RELIGION UP IN HERE.

BECAUSE THERE AIN'T NO WAY

MY DAUGHTER'S ABOUT TO MARRY SOME OLD [bleep bleep]!

- HEY, HEY, MAN!

WE'RE AT AN OBAMA EVENT.

YOU CAN'T BE TALKING LIKE THAT!

THERE'S WHITE FOLKS AROUND!

I HEARD ALL THE INSULTS, ALL THE OLD GUY STUFF.

I'VE BEEN CUTTING YOU A LOT OF SLACK TODAY.

- OH, YOU'VE BEEN CUTTING ME A LOT OF SLACK?

- YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE A GENTLEMAN--TO YOU!

- HEY, DON'T POKE ME, MAN. - OH, THAT WASN'T A POKE.

IF I WANT TO POKE YOU, I'MA POKE YOU.

- OH, THEN I'M JUST GONNA POKE YOU BACK.

- WELL, WATCH THIS.

I'MA POKE YOU WITH TWO FINGERS.

- OH, WELL, I'M GONNA DO THE SHOTGUN POKE.

- WHAT KIND OF-- - PA-POW!

- [grunts]

YOU POKED MY BURSITIS, MAN!

THAT'S NOT COOL. I GOTTA GO IN THE HOUSE.

- DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! GET BACK HERE!

- [male voice] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

[Hail to the Chiefplays]

- LOLLI! LYRIC!

OOH, IS THAT CHANNING TATUM?

TELL THAT GUY HE'S TOO OLD TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER!

SHE'S JUST A KID! MR. PRESIDENT!

MR. OBAMA!

BARACK!

BARRY!

- [shouting indistinctly]

BOYCE BALLENTINE.

I ASKED YOU NOT TO MAKE A SCENE.

AND WHAT DID YOU DO?

YOU MADE A SCENE, HUH?

I WANTED MICHELLE TO SEE ME IN MY DRESS.

MICHELLE DIDN'T GET TO SEE ME IN MY DRESS.

AND NOW, OUR DAUGHTER IS OUT MARRYING SOME OLD MAN

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW.

YOU KNOW I AIN'T TAKING THIS DRESS BACK NOW, DON'T YOU?

- LOOK, BABE, I DON'T MEAN TO BE INSENSITIVE, BUT...

AM I GETTING SOME COFFEE OR NOT?

LYRIC?

- BABY GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A PLANE TO HAWAII.

- WE DECIDED NOT TO GET MARRIED.

IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT IF YOU TWO

WEREN'T GOING TO BE A PART OF IT.

- OH, COME HERE, YOU POOR, POOR THING.

HOW DID JESSE TAKE IT?

- WELL, HE DIDN'T WANNA GET MARRIED

WITHOUT YOUR BLESSING EITHER.

FOR SOME STUPID REASON, WHAT YOU THINK MATTERS TO HIM.

- WOW.

THAT TAKES WISDOM.

WHICH COMES WITH AGE.

BECAUSE HE'S OLD.

- DAD, WOULD YOU STOP?

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM.

I LOVE HIM. SO WHAT IF HE'S OLDER THAN ME?

- [scoffs] LYRIC,

IS THERE SOMETHING THAT I DID OR DIDN'T DO

THAT'S GIVING YOU THESE...

- DADDY ISSUES.

- OR MOMMY ISSUES: WE DO CO-PARENT.

- LOOK, MAYBE I DO HAVE DADDY ISSUES.

BECAUSE I WANT SOMEONE WHO TREATS ME

AS GOOD AS YOU ALWAYS HAVE.

DAD, I HAVE HIGH STANDARDS.

AND THEY'RE HIGH BECAUSE OF YOU.

- LOOK, BABY GIRL.

IF YOU AND JESSE REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER

AND HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT WHAT I THINK,

THEN MAYBE HE'S A BETTER MAN THAN I'M GIVING HIM CREDIT FOR.

- SO YOU'RE GONNA GIVE US YOUR BLESSING?

- OH, OH, BABY STEPS, BABY.

- I THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER IS SAYING

IS THAT WE WON'T FORBID THE RELATIONSHIP.

RIGHT, BOYCE?

I MEAN, AND MAYBE ONE DAY,

WE'LL BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU OUR BLESSING.

- MAYBE.

- YEAH, I'M GONNA PRAY FOR THAT. [giggles]

- WELL, I'MA PRAY FOR SOMETHING TOO,

AND WE'LL JUST SEE WHO GOD LIKES BEST.

- LOLLI, WHAT'S WITH THE WEDDING MAGAZINES?

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LOOKING FOR A MOTHER-OF-THE-BRIDE DRESS?

- BOYCE, THESE AREN'T MINE!

I'M KEEPING THESE MAGAZINES FOR A FRIEND.

- I THOUGHT WE WERE HOPING

THAT THIS WHOLE JESSE THING WOULD GO AWAY.

- BOYCE, LYRIC IS GONNA GET MARRIED ONE DAY.

AND I'M GONNA BE READY.

BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT SHOES

OR SOMETHING.

YOU DIDN'T LOOK IN THE GARAGE, DID YOU?

- NO. - YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE

I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT SHOES OR SOMETHING.

- HEY, Y'ALL. TURN THE TV UP.

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT OBAMA THING.

- [TV announcer] A WILD NIGHT LAST NIGHT

AS PRESIDENT OBAMA ATTENDED A RECEPTION

IN THE ST. LOUIS AREA.

FOLLOWING A CONTROVERSY OVER THE COLOR OF HIS WRISTBAND,

FORMER CELEBRITY "BOYCE THE VOICE" BALLENTINE

WAS ESCORTED OFF THE PREMISES BY SECRET SERVICE.

- BARACK!

BARRY!

- AND IN WHAT POLICE BELIEVE TO BE AN UNRELATED INCIDENT,

A SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE ADDRESSED TO THE FIRST LADY

WAS REMOVED FROM THE RESIDENCE BY BOMB-SQUAD SPECIALISTS.

- THAT'S MY CUPCAKE.

[explosion]

- OH, THEY JUST BLEW YOUR CUPCAKE UP.

- STAMPS, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

REMEMBER WHAT I SAID.

YOU IS KIND.

both: YOU IS SMART.

all: YOU IS IMPORTANT.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN