Original subtitles

- THE SOUL MAN IS RECORDED

IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

[R&B music playing]

♪

- YEAH. HEY, BOYS, HIT 'EM WITH IT.

UGH.

HELLO, YOUNG LADY. [laughs]

YEAH. UH.

- [laughs] OH, LOOK AT YOU!

- [laughs] YOUR MAN STILL GOT IT.

[turns off music]

NOW, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR GIRLS

ALL WEEKEND WHEN YOU CAN GO DOWN TO BIRD'S

AND DANCE WITH ME TOMORROW?

- LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS.

HOT STONE MASSAGES AND HERBAL WRAPS,

OR GOING TO A PLACE

WHERE THE BARBECUE SAUCE TAKES OFF MY NAIL POLISH.

- [chuckles]

ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD TIME. - THANK YOU.

- ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE. SEE YOU, BABE.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY, BYE, NOW.

[sighs]

- BOYCE, I TOLD YOU OVER A MONTH AGO

TO GET THE DOOR FIXED.

- I KNOW, BABE. IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

COME ON, YOU JUST GOTTA PUT A LITTLE MUSCLE ON IT, YOU KNOW.

PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT A LITTLE BIT.

[chuckles]

I ALWAYS FIND IT BETTER THEN YOU GRUNT LIKE SERENA AT WIMBLEDON.

AH! AH!

- BOYCE, I DON'T WANT TO SWEAT OUT MY WEAVE

EVERY TIME I WANT TO GET OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

- HEY, BEFORE YOU GO, JUST ONE LITTLE SPIN

ON THE FLOOR WITH YOUR MAN.

[R&B music playing]

YEAH.

WORK, WORK, WORK WITH ME. YEAH, OH.

- [laughs] - UH!

CAN YOU GO? - OH.

- HO, HO, OH. - OH, OH.

[giggles]

WATCH IT NOW. UH, UH, UH, UH.

OOH. - UH-OH.

- AH!

FIX THE DOOR.

[upbeat R&B music]

♪

[upbeat gospel music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

- BIRD. - BOYCE, THANK GOD YOU HERE.

- WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN? I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU THIS UPSET SINCE YOU FOUND OUT

YOUR FIRST WIFE WAS DATING YOUR SECOND WIFE.

- MY FAULT FOR TRYING TO SET UP A THREESOME.

IT'S LIKE WE WERE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS

AND SUDDENLY, I DIDN'T HAVE A SEAT.

- HEY, MAN, SO WHAT'D YOU CALL ME DOWN HERE FOR?

- YOUR DADDY.

HE'S BEEN COMING HERE EVERY AFTERNOON

TAKING ALL MY TOP SHELF WHISKEY.

- MY DADDY DOESN'T DRINK.

- NO, HE DOESN'T. HE JUST ORDERS A $20 SHOT

AND THEN STARES AT IT LIKE HE'S WAITING FOR SEA MONKEYS TO GROW.

PROBLEM IS, HE'S CHARGING IT ALL TO YOUR TAB.

- BIRD, I'M CO-OWNER. I DON'T HAVE A TAB.

- NOW YOU SEE MY PROBLEM.

AND IT'S SAD.

HE JUST SITS THERE ALL BY HIMSELF.

IT'S A SHAME, 'CAUSE I GOT LOVE FOR MR. B.

HE'S LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD...THAT I NEVER HAD.

- BIRD, I JUST THINK HE'S UPSET

BECAUSE HE AND MOM BROKE UP AGAIN,

AND HE JUST HASN'T BEEN HIMSELF LATELY.

DO YOU KNOW IT WAS TWO KIDS STANDING ON HIS YARD

THE OTHER DAY, AND THEY STILL ALIVE.

- MM.

- DADDY, HEY, MAN, YOU WANT TO TALK?

- YOU HEAR YOUR PHONE RINGING? - NO.

- THEN THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.

- LOOK, DADDY, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT YOU AND MOM,

BUT SITTING IN A BAR STARING AT YOUR DRINK,

THAT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.

- I'VE ACCEPTED IT'S OVER BETWEEN ME AND YOUR MOTHER.

JUST LIKE I'VE ACCEPTED WHITE GUYS RAPPING

AND BLACK GUYS PLAYING HOCKEY.

- LOOK, SON, SOMETIMES A MAN HAS TO TAKE CARE

OF HIS OWN PROBLEMS HIS OWN WAY, SO LET ME TAKE CARE OF MINE.

THANK YOU.

- CAN I GET YOU GUYS ANYTHING?

- I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE AND ONE LESS OF THESE.

- [laughs]

NOW, SEE, THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOUR DADDY.

HE ALWAYS BRINGS IN A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE.

- OH, YEAH, THEN HE JUST TAKES OUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS

AND STARTS KILLING ANTS WITH IT.

- I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT HIM.

MM, HE SURE IS. [both laughing]

- I AM WHAT?

- TRUST ME, YOU ARE.

[both laughing]

- SO ARE YOU GONNA COME TO STEPPERS NIGHT TOMORROW?

BIRD'S GONNA BE RUNNING A SPECIAL ON DIRTY MARTINIS.

I BET YOU NEVER SPENT A NIGHT STARING INTO ONE OF THOSE.

[both laughing]

- YOU GOT JOKES. - EH.

- BUT NO, I DON'T THINK I'M GOING.

- YEAH, I'M PROBABLY NOT GONNA GO EITHER.

I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER DRINK. EXCUSE ME.

- WHAT WAS THAT? - WHAT WAS WHAT?

- THAT WOMAN WAS TRYING

TO TALK YOU INTO COMING TO STEPPERS NIGHT.

- SHE ASKED ME IFI WAS COMING TO STEPPERS NIGHT,

AND I SAID NO. NOW, PAY YOUR TAB.

I'M TIRED OF HEARING BIRD WHINE ABOUT IT.

- WHICH REMINDS ME, THESE THINGS ARE $20 A SHOT.

AH! GAH! [coughs]

- THAT'S WHY I JUST STARE AT 'EM.

- HEY, SO I CALLED DAD AND I LET IT SLIP

THAT YOU AND I WERE GONNA TRY TO HANG THIS DOOR.

HE SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

- I FORGET HOW YOUR PLAN IS SUPPOSED TO

PUT HIM IN A BETTER MOOD. - WELL, IT WON'T,

BUT YOU KNOW HIM. HE CAN'T PASS UP A CHANCE

TO CALL US KNUCKLEHEADS OR TELL US HOW WE DOING IT WRONG.

- MAN DOES LOVE CRUSHING OUR SELF-ESTEEM.

- LOOK, SO WHILE HE'S HANGING THE DOOR,

I'LL BRING UP THE IDEA ABOUT HIM GOING TO STEPPERS NIGHT.

OKAY, SPREAD SOME OF THESE WRONG TOOLS AROUND,

MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

- WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

HEY, DO YOU NEED ONE OF THESE TO HANG A DOOR?

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT STICK IT IN THE KNOB HOLE.

- NICE.

- YEAH, BUCKLE UP, BARTON BALLENTINE.

WE 'BOUT TO SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK.

WHICH IS ALSO A GOOD DAMN TITLE FOR A SONG.

♪ SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK

- ♪ UGH both: ♪ SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK

- ♪ GONNA... both: ♪ SNAP YOU

♪ AND SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK

♪ TWO TIMES AH, AH ♪

[both singing]

- JUST WHAT I THOUGHT. both: HEY, DADDY.

- YOU KNUCKLEHEADS TOOK THE DOOR OFF AND COULDN'T PUT IT BACK,

SO NOW YOU'RE CELEBRATING

WITH SOME KIND OF FESTIVAL OF FAILURE.

WHY IS THERE A GARLIC PRESS IN YOUR KNOB HOLE?

WHERE'S THE HAMMER? - I'LL GET THE HAMMER, POP.

- HEY, SO DAD, YOU KNOW WHAT WE WERE THINKING?

WE DON'T HANG OUT THE WAY WE USED TO.

- WE NEVER HUNG OUT.

- WE SHOULD CHANGE THAT.

- WHY FIX WHAT AIN'T BROKEN?

- POP, LOLLI'S OUT OF TOWN THIS WEEKEND.

WHAT DO YOU SAY THE THREE OF US HIT THE TOWN?

YOU KNOW, GET OUT THERE INTO THE STREETS,

DO SOME LIGHT SINNING. - YEAH.

- ALL THE BALLENTINE MEN TOGETHER TURNING IT OUT.

- YOU TWO TURN IT OUT, I'M TURNING IT DOWN.

- I GOT THIS. LOOK, POP,

I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD GO ON DOWN TO BIRD'S

AND DANCE WITH THAT SHORTY YOU GOT YOUR EYE ON.

YEAH, MAN, I BET SHE'LL SNAP YOU OUT YOUR FUNK.

♪ SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK

♪ SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ SNAP YOU OUT YO' FUNK HA HA ♪

WATCH THE SPIN.

- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

- SORRY, BRO. - NO. NO, THAT'S MY FAULT.

YOU SAID, "I GOT THIS," AND I LET YOU KEEP TALKING.

THAT'S ON ME.

- FIRST OF ALL, THAT LADY HAS A NAME, IT'S ERIKA.

I DO NOT HAVE MY EYE ON HER, AND I AM NOT DANCING WITH HER.

- WHY NOT?

- YOU SEEM TO LIKE HER, SHE ASKED YOU TO COME,

YOU LOVE TO DANCE. GIVE ME ONE REASON.

- BECAUSE.

- "BECAUSE" IS NOT A REASON, DADDY.

- BECAUSE HER HUSBAND DIED.

- THAT'S A REASON, DADDY.

- HE WAS A BUDDY OF MINE. WOULDN'T LOOK RIGHT

FOR A PASTOR TO DANCE WITH A DEAD FRIEND'S WIFE.

WHERE ARE YOU MORALS? YOU AND YOUR LIGHT SIN.

YOU TWO STAY OUT OF MY DAMN BUSINESS.

AND PUT A DOOR ON THIS HOUSE SO I CAN SLAM IT ON THE WAY OUT!

- I KNOW HE DIDN'T SLAM IT, BUT I FELT SOMETHING.

- HELLO? - HEY, BABE.

- HI, BOYCE. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I'M DOING.

[giggles]

- IF YOU'RE DOING WHAT YOU WAS DOING

LAST TIME YOU SOUNDED LIKE THAT, I'M MAD.

- I'M GETTING THIS WEIRD PEDICURE.

I'VE GOT LITTLE FISHIES NIBBLING ON MY FEET, SEE?

- OH, THOSE LITTLE DUDES LOOK LIKE THEY LIKE

KISSING ON THOSE POPSICLE TOES AS MUCH AS I DO.

- THIS SPA IS AMAZING.

I HAD A APRICOT FACIAL, A BEER BATH,

AND SOME SORT OF RUBDOWN WITH SOUR CREAM.

OH, WAIT, I THINK I'M GETTING THAT CONFUSED WITH LUNCH.

- HEY, HONEY, I GOTTA ASK YOU SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW THE WAITRESS WHO WORKS DOWN AT BIRD'S NAMED ERIKA?

- YEAH, I KNOW ERIKA. I DO HER HAIR.

- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE HER HUSBAND DIED?

- ERIKA DOESN'T HAVE A HUSBAND, DEAD OR ALIVE.

- WHAT? YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

- BOYCE, YOU GIVE A WOMAN A SIX-HOUR WEAVE,

YOU KNOW WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S GOT A DEAD HUSBAND.

OH, I GOTTA GO. THERE'S A VERY LARGE SAMOAN MAN

WAITING TO BEAT ME WITH BANANA LEAVES.

I LOVE YOU.

- HOLD UP, LET ME SEE HIM. PUT HIM ON.

[scoffs] SAMOAN MAN BEATING MY WIFE DOWN.

I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT.

STAMPS, LOLLI JUST TOLD ME

THAT THAT ERIKA WOMAN HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

DAD JUST MADE IT ALL UP. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, MAYBE HE'S HIDING SOMETHING.

[snaps fingers] I HAVE A THEORY.

DAD BEFRIENDED ERIKA'S HUSBAND, THEN HE KILLED HIM,

AND NOW, HE FEELS TOO GUILTY TO DANCE WITH HER.

- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS MY FAULT.

AS SOON AS I HEARD, "I HAVE A THEORY,"

I SHOULD'VE JUST HIT YOU IN THE THROAT.

LOOK, STAMPS, IT'S NOT TRUE.

DAD MADE THIS UP BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE FUN.

IT'S LIKE HE WANTS TO BE MISERABLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, AND I'M NOT GONNA STAND FOR IT.

- WHERE YOU GOING?

- DAD IS GOING TO BIRD'S TONIGHT, AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE

THAT ERIKA'S THERE TO DANCE WITH HIM.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, HOLD UP, I'MA GO WITH YOU

SINCE THE DOOR'S DONE.

NOW, IT OPENS AND CLOSES LIKE A DREAM.

- STAMPS. - DON'T FORGET--

DON'T FORGET, I STILL HAVE TO PUT THE WEATHER STRIPPING ON.

- [sighs] REALLY?

YOU DON'T SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT?

- NO. [cat screeches]

- WHOA! - OOH!

I DO NOW.

- HEY, ERIKA. - HI, BOSS.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

- YOU KNOW, I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK THIS ISN'T TOO FORWARD,

BUT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY DAD.

- OH. - YOU KNOW, I SAW YOU GUYS,

AND YOU GOT A GOOD, FUN REPARTEE GOING ON.

- [laughs] - I MEAN, LAUGHING AND JOKING

AND EVERYTHING. - MM-HMM.

- I MEAN, YOU KIND OF LIKE THE GUY, RIGHT?

- WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE? HE'S JUST SO CUTE.

THAT LITTLE ROUND FACE AND BALD HEAD AND THEM FRECKLES.

YOU KNOW, HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE A BLACK CHARLIE BROWN.

[both laughing]

- I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.

NOW THAT I HAVE, I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

YOU KNOW, HE IS A REALLY GOOD DANCER.

SO YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON COMING TO STEPPERS TONIGHT?

- TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I REALLY HATE TO MISS IT.

I LOVE STEPPING,

BUT IT'S NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU CAN DO ALONE.

- WELL, HYPOTHETICALLY,

IF MY DAD HAPPENED TO COME TO THE DANCE,

AND YOU HAPPENED TO BE AT THE DANCE,

AND THEN HE HAPPENED TO, SAY, ASK YOU TO DANCE,

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? - WELL,

IF ALL THOSE "HYPOTHETICALS" CAME TOGETHER,

I SAY WE'D BE DOING SOME STEPPING TONIGHT.

- GREAT. - [laughs]

- I'LL MENTION IT TO HIM. I MEAN, IF I SEE HIM.

- OKAY, THEN IT'S A DATE.

- D-D-D-DANCE DATE.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO REASON TO PUT LABELS ON IT, YOU KNOW.

- OKAY. - MY DAD IS THE KIND OF PERSON--

- WAIT--BOSS, I THINK THEY'RE TRYING

TO SKIP OUT ON THEIR BILL!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? BUT TELL YOUR DADDY

I CANNOT WAIT FOR OUR DATE. WE GOT A RUNNER, BOSS!

COME BACK HERE! - I GOT YOU, GIRL.

- SO JUST COME OVER AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MESSAGE.

I LEFT THREE MESSAGES.

ONE MORE, AND I'LL OFFICIALLY BE STALKING MY DAD.

- ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO THE LAW,

IT'S FIVE CALLS AND TWO DRIVES BY HER HOUSE.

YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO QUESTION YOUR PLAN, BRO.

- MYPLAN?

STAMPS, ARE WE IN THIS THING TOGETHER OR NOT?

- HEY, I'MA HAVE TO SEE HOW THINGS PLAY OUT

BEFORE I START FORMING ALLIANCES.

- FIND THE CAT.

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY. [cat screeches]

both: WHOA!

- FOUND THE KITTY.

- BOYCE! - UP HERE, DADDY.

- YOU GOT NO BOTTOM ON YOUR DOOR.

YOU'RE GONNA GET CATS.

[cat screeches]

I TOLD YOU.

WHAT'S THE BIG EMERGENCY? - HEY, UH, HEY, YOU KNOW, DAD,

ME AND STAMPS WAS UP HERE PLAYING AROUND,

AND WE COULDN'T REMEMBER THAT MIDNIGHT TRAINPIPS MOVE

YOU TAUGHT US AS A KID. - YEAH,

WE JUST COULDN'T REMEMBER HOW IT WENT.

I WAS TELLING BOYCE IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - YEAH, YEAH, AND I WAS HERE.

I WAS GOING RIGHT HERE WITH IT.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU GOTTA SNAP FIRST, THEN STEP.

- OKAY. - OH, YEAH.

- OH, I REMEMBER THAT, YEAH. - [laughs]

all: YEAH.

WHOO WHOO! - HA HA!

BAM!

- WHAT'S THAT? - THIS IS FOR YOU.

I PICKED IT OUT MYSELF.

WE'RE GOING DOWN TO BIRD'S TONIGHT AND GO STEPPIN'.

GO GIVE ME A POUND.

OKAY. - WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS?

I'M NOT GOING NOWHERE.

TAKE THAT PIMP SKIN BACK TO THE VAN YOU BOUGHT IT OUT OF.

- LOOK, DADDY, NO, NO.

YOU ARE NOT GONNA KEEP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.

- YOU'RE GONNA PUT THIS SUIT ON, AND YOU GOING DOWN TO BIRD'S.

ERIKA ALREADY AGREED TO MEET YOU.

- AGREED TO MEET ME? YOU MEAN YOU TALKED TO ERIKA?

- MM-HMM, THAT'S RIGHT, POPS.

HE GOT YOU A DATE AND EVERYTHING.

- STAMPS, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

- I WAS SENSING A POWER SHIFT, SO I CHOSE A SIDE.

- I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WENT DOWN TO THE ONE PLACE

WHERE I CAN SIT WITH MY THOUGHTS

AND HAVE A NICE LADY BRING ME A DRINK TO LOOK AT.

AND NOW SHE'S GONNA THINK I'M AFTER HER.

HOW CAN I SHOW MY FACE DOWN THERE AGAIN?

YOU RUINED IT FOR ME, SON. THANKS A LOT.

- NO, DADDY, UH-UH. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COME OUT OF THERE.

DADDY, YOU GONNA TALK TO ME LIKE A MAN.

- YOU SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT?

- UH, NO, IT'S UP TO YOU. YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST--

THAT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION, YOU KNOW,

AND FORGIVE ME FOR MY EARLIER TONE.

HE MAD.

- DADDY, COME ON OUT OF THERE. WHAT IS LOCKING YOURSELF

IN THE BATHROOM GONNA ACCOMPLISH?

- WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD ALLOW ME TO RELIEVE MYSELF IN PEACE.

[toilet flushing]

APPARENTLY, YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF THAT EITHER.

- DADDY, COME ON, WAIT UP. DADDY.

- DADDY, YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?

- YOU BOYS DO NOTHING BUT UPSET MY STOMACH.

WHERE IN THE HELL DO YOU KEEP YOUR BUTTERMILK?

- IN THE 1950s.

- DAD, LOOK, I KNOW YOU LIED

ABOUT ERIKA HAVING A DEAD HUSBAND.

WHAT I DON'T KNOW IS WHY YOU'RE AFRAID TO DANCE WITH HER.

- I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING. I'M JUST NOT GOING.

- WHY? THE WOMAN SAID SHE LIKED YOU.

- WHAT? - I KNOW!

I'M JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE.

- I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. - DADDY.

- POP.

YOU GOTTA LIFT AND PULL.

- JIGGLE IT.

both: AT THE SAME TIME.

- IS THERE NOT A DOOR IN THIS HOUSE THAT WORKS?

FINE, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOUR MOTHER LEFT ME TWICE. FIRST, BECAUSE I WAS A PREACHER.

I PAID TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO MY FLOCK AND NOT ENOUGH TO HER.

BUT THIS TIME I TRIED, I REALLY TRIED,

AND SHE LEFT ME AGAIN. ONLY THIS TIME,

SHE DIDN'T LEAVE PASTOR BALLENTINE, SHE LEFT ME.

SO THAT'S WHY I LIED.

I JUST CAN'T SET MYSELF UP FOR ANOTHER REJECTION.

- AH, DAD. LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE HURTING.

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T GIVE UP LIKE THIS.

AND I'M SORRY I PUSHED THIS,

BUT I WAS JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU A KICK IN THE PANTS,

LIKE YOU ALWAYS DID US.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID

AND DIDN'T WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SWIM?

YOU THREW ME IN THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER.

- YEAH, REMEMBER I DIDN'T WANNA LEARN ALGEBRA?

YOU THREW ME IN THE RIVER TOO.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF TRICKS, POPS.

- GREAT, SO NOT ONLY AM I A FAILURE AS A HUSBAND,

I'M A LOUSY FATHER TO BOOT.

- OH, NO, NO. - OH.

- NO, I LEARNED HOW TO SWIM.

I'M JUST STILL NOT SURE WHY YOU PUT THOSE ROCKS IN MY POCKETS.

- YEAH, AND EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T HELP ME LEARN MATH,

AT LEAST I GOT A CHANCE TO RING THAT BELL

ON THE COAST GUARD BOAT.

- LOOK, THE POINT IS IS THAT YOU TAUGHT US

NOT TO BE RULED BY OUR FEARS.

NOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

SO I'M THROWING YOU IN. YOU NEED TO START SWIMMING.

- THAT WAS A GOOD SPEECH, SON. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.

- DAD, ERIKA'S DOWN THERE WAITING ON YOU.

SO ARE YOU GONNA GO DOWN THERE AND MEET HER?

- NO, I'M NOT.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, FINE. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT ONE THING YOU DID TEACH US

IS THAT A BALLENTINE IS ALWAYS A GENTLEMAN,

SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO BE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE RIGHT, POPS.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ALONE AND MISERABLE,

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO,

FOR HOWEVER MANY YEARS YOU HAVE LEFT.

CHEER UP. I'M ON YOUR SIDE.

[slow soul music playing]

♪

- [sighs] HI, ERIKA.

I'M SO SORRY.

- [chuckles] NO, THIS IS A FIRST FOR ME.

I'VE NEVER BEEN SET UP BY A SON TO BE STOOD UP BY HIS FATHER.

- WELL, IF YOU'LL FORGIVE ME,

I WOULD LOVE TO ESCORT YOU TO THE DANCE FLOOR.

AND WE'RE HERE... - [laughs]

- ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

- YEAH. - UH.

OH, YOU'RE KINDA SMOOTH THERE, BOSS.

- UH. - AH.

- HUH, HUH, HUH. - HEY, WHAT?

[laughs] UH, UH.

[humming]

- MAY I CUT IN?

- AH, ANOTHER GENTLEMAN BALLENTINE.

- YOU KNOW, AS CRAZY AS IT SOUNDS,

SOMETIMES, YOU AND YOUR BONE-HEAD BROTHER MAKE SENSE.

THANK YOU. - ALL RIGHT.

ENJOY YOUR SWIM.

- I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME THINGS, AND--

- BARTON, BARTON, TONIGHT, LET'S JUST DANCE.

- WELL, LET'S SHOW THESE KIDS HOW IT'S DONE.

- WELL, ALL RIGHT. [laughs]

♪

- LOOK AT THAT OLD MAN CUT A RUG IN HIS CHURCH SHOES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT HIM DOWN HERE.

- WELL, I DO WHAT I DO, BIRD. I DO WHAT I DO.

[both laughing]

- GIMME SOME. - [laughs]

- WHAT'S THIS? - YOUR TAB, GIMME SOME.

HEY, GIRL.

♪

- SPRAY A LITTLE LUBRICATION, AND THAT'S HOW YOU HANG A DOOR.

- HEY, DADDY, YOU MIND

IF I TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS WHEN LOLLI GETS HOME?

- SURE, AFTER THE KICK IN THE PANTS

YOU AND STAMPS GAVE ME, THE DOOR IS YOURS.

- WELL, THAT CAT IS NOT UPSTAIRS,

BUT I DID FIND $50 IN YOUR SOCK DRAWER.

- THERE'S NO MONEY IN MY SOCK DRAWER.

- WELL, TECHNICALLY, IT WAS IN YOUR WALLET

IN YOUR SOCK DRAWER. - BOY, GIVE ME THAT.

- COME ON, STAMPS. HELP ME FIX THE BACK DOOR.

- AH, I DON'T WANT TO.

- YOU WANT TO GO BACK IN THAT RIVER?

- I'LL GET THE TOOLS.

- LOLLIPOP! - HEY, EVERYBODY.

- WHAT'S UP, BABY?

- OH, YOU FIXED THE DOOR.

- YEAH, BABY, YOU--

YOU KNOW, I DID MY THING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

JUST A LITTLE DRILLING, THEN I LEVELED IT OFF,

AND THEN I PUT THIS ON. YEAH, YOUR MAN TOOK CARE OF IT.

- AW, LOOK AT YOU...

THINKING I'M AN IDIOT. THANK YOU, BARTON.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- REALLY, DADDY?

YOU'RE JUST GONNA SELL ME OUT LIKE THAT?

- OH, BOYCE, I'M SO RELAXED.

I'VE BEEN RUBBED AND SCRUBBED AND NIBBLED BY FISH.

I JUST FEEL SO PEACEFUL RIGHT NOW.

[cat screeches] OH!

BOYCE, WAS THAT A CAT?

- SHH. YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW.

COME ON. - WHAT, WHERE WE GOING?

- WE ARE GOING BACK TO THAT SPA.

I MEAN, ALL THIS DOOR AND CAT BUSINESS,

PLUS, I NEED TO MEET THAT SAMOAN BANANA MAN.

[upbeat R&B music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN