Original subtitles

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- ♪ LOVE LIFTED ME

♪ YOU KNOW LOVE LIFTED ME

♪ WHEN I--

OH! [laughs]

OH, YOU GOTTA FORGIVE ME.

SOMETIMES I GET A LITTLE HYPED

WHEN THE COLLECTION PLATE IS FULL.

- YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME, DO YOU, BOYCE?

- GINA?

GIRL!

[both laughing] WOW!

LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE '98, AT THE FOX THEATER,

DURING YOUR "BITE YOUR THIGH" TOUR.

[laughter]

- YEAH, IRONICALLY, I CHIPPED MY TOOTH DOING THAT TOUR.

[mumbles]

SO WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?

- I'M GETTING MARRIED. - OH.

WOW, SWEETIE. CONGRATULATIONS.

SO I GET TO DO THE HONORS?

- WELL, WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT IN IOWA,

BUT DREW AND I WERE HOPING

TO HAVE ANOTHER CEREMONY HERE AT MY HOME CHURCH

FOR FRIENDS THAT CAN'T MAKE IT.

- OF COURSE. WELL, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HELP

YOU AND YOUR FIANCE DOUBLE TIE YOUR KNOT.

YES, MA'AM, CAN I HELP YOU?

- OH, BOYCE, THIS IS MY FIANCEE DREW.

- PLEASURE.

- OKAY, DREW! OH, YOU WERE SAYING, "DREW."

I THOUGHT YOU SAID, "DREW."

BUT YOU WERE SAYING, "DREW,"

WHERE THE "E" IS FEMININE.

- YOU'RE STILL OKAY TO DO THE CEREMONY?

I KNOW A LOT OF PASTORS WOULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

- NO, NO, NO, NOT ME. IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

- SEE, I TOLD YOU HE WAS COOL.

- YEAH, YEAH, I'M COOL. EVERYBODY'S COOL, SO COOL.

LISTEN, UH, DIDN'T YOU USED TO DATE STAMPS?

- I DID.

ACTUALLY, HE WAS THE LAST GUY

THAT I DATED BEFORE I MET DREW.

- [laughs]

YEAH, STAMPS WILL DO THAT TO A WOMAN.

- BUT HE WASN'T THE REASON.

- OH, WHEN I TELL THE STORY, HE WILL BE.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ HEY

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

WHOA, BABE, LOOK AT ALL THESE WIGS.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE BACK ROW OF A TYLER PERRY MOVIE.

- WELL, I'M GETTING READY FOR MY FIRST BIG HAIR SHOW,

AND I GOTTA HAVE 20 WIGS FINISHED BY THURSDAY.

NOW, IF MY BOOTH IS A BIG HIT,

THIS COULD BE GOOD FOR ME.

THIS IS HOW JOSE EBER STARTED.

- OH, YEAH, I LOVE HIS TEQUILAS.

BABE, SO I HAD A LADY COME IN MY OFFICE TODAY

WITH HER FIANCEE, WANTS ME TO DO HER WEDDING CEREMONY.

- OH, THAT'S SWEET. - YEAH, CHECK THIS OUT.

IF I TOLD YOU HER FIANCEE'S NAME WAS DREW,

WOULD YOU BE THINKING DREW CAREY

OR DREW BARRYMORE?

- YOU'RE HOOKING UP TWO WOMEN. - HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

- 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T STOP SMILING.

- I'M NOT SMILING. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

AIN'T NOBODY SMILING.

- I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOYCE. - [chuckles]

- BEING ALL PROGRESSIVE AND WHATNOT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA ANNOUNCE IT

AT THE PASTOR'S BRUNCH TOMORROW TOO.

BABE, BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU SHOULD WEAR THIS MICHELLE OBAMA.

- OKAY, FIRST, DON'T TOUCH MICHELLE.

AND SECOND, HONEY, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

I GOT A LOT OF WORK.

- UH-UH, UH-UH.

LOOK, WE ARE HOSTING THIS THING TOGETHER.

- BUT-- - I-I NEED YOU THERE.

THERE'S GONNA BE PASTORS FROM ALL OVER ST. LOUIS THERE.

THESE ARE MY GOOD, GOOD, GOOD FRIENDS.

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME THEIR NAMES.

- OH, STAMPS, THANKS FOR PICKING UP LUNCH.

- HEY, YOU'RE LOLLI'S SISTER. WE'RE FAMILY.

ALTHOUGH NOT SUCH CLOSE FAMILY THAT, UH,

IT WOULD RULE OUT OTHER THINGS.

- HUH? - NOTHING. NOTHING.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?

- MY PROFILE FOR A DATING WEBSITE.

- OH.

WELL, HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD LET ME HELP YOU OUT.

YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, CREATIVE LYING

IS WHAT I DO BEST.

I PERFECTED IT WHEN I WAS ON THE SPACE SHUTTLE.

- [laughs] ALL RIGHT. WELL, COME ON OVER HERE THEN,

AND HELP ME PICK OUT A PICTURE. - WHAT YOU GOT HERE?

WHAT YOU GOT HERE? - OKAY?

- OKAY, FIRST MISTAKE, THAT PICTURE IS ALL WRONG.

- WHAT? I LOOK HOT IN THAT PICTURE.

- TOO HOT. OKAY, LOOK, THE TIGHT RED DRESS,

SHOWING ALL YOUR-- [clears throat]

LET'S PICK ANOTHER PICTURE.

HOW ABOUT, UM... THIS ONE FROM LAST CHRISTMAS?

- I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THAT. - EXACTLY.

YOU WANT A TERRIBLE PICTURE

BECAUSE IT SAYS THAT, UM, YOU KNOW, THIS WOMAN IS SO FINE

THAT SHE DON'T CARE HOW JACKED UP HER HAIR IS

AND HOW MANY TRACKS ARE FALLING OFF HER HEAD.

- HEY.

- LET'S MOVE ON.

ALL RIGHT, UM, DESCRIBE YOUR IDEAL MATE.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, HANDSOME.

FIT.

FUNNY.

STOP PLAYING AROUND, STAMPS. - [laughs]

- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT?

HE'S GOT TO HAVE GOALS,

SOMETHING HE'S REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

- GOALS?

PASSION?

YOU KNOW, FOR A DOCTOR WHO'S ATTRACTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL,

YOU'RE PICKY.

[phone rings] - HELLO?

- LOLLI, WHERE ARE YOU? - BABE, I'M SORRY.

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

- I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP WITH NAMES.

A GUY JUST GAVE ME HIS NUMBER,

AND I HAD TO SAVE IT AS "BIRD-FACE BALD GUY."

- THAT'S DARIUS ANDERSON.

OOH, OOH!

BABY, MY KIM KARDASHIAN WIG IS ON FIRE.

GOTTA GO.

- BUT--LOLLI. OH, GOODNESS.

- PASTOR BALLENTINE, WE NEED TO DISCUSS YOUR MORAL COMPASS.

- SISTER PEARLY AND THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS FUNKY BUNCH.

COME ON IN.

- IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION

THAT YOU AGREED TO HOLD A LESBIAN CEREMONY IN MY CHURCH.

- ALL RIGHT, NOW, IF YOU ARE REFERRING

TO THE SAME-SEX CEREMONY I AGREED TO OFFICIATE

IN OUR CHURCH, THEN YOU ARE CORRECT.

- AND AS OUR LEADER, IT IS YOUR JOB TO REPRESENT

OUR BELIEFS, NOT PARTAKE IN THIS ABOMINATION.

OH, IT IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE ALL GONNA LISTEN TO ME.

I AM GONNA TREAT THESE WOMEN LIKE I WOULD ANY OTHER COUPLE,

AND IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT,

YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH THE HUNDREDS OF PASTORS

THAT'S DOWNSTAIRS FIGHTING OVER 30 MEATBALLS.

COME ON.

COME ON. YEAH.

- MARK MY WORDS, PASTOR.

IF YOU CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH, I WILL CONVENE A MEETING

WITH THE CHURCH ELDERS, AND WE WILL KICK

YOUR SACRILEGIOUS BUTT TO THE CURB.

- [scoffs]

SHE WASHED JESUS' FEET ONE TIME,

AND NOW SHE THINKS SHE KNOW HIM.

- YOU KNOW, I USUALLY LIKE TO START OFF

THESE PREMARITAL COUNSELING SESSIONS WITH A LITTLE JOKE

ABOUT HOW MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM A PLANET

THAT HASN'T BEEN DISCOVERED YET. [laughs]

TRUST ME, IF THERE WAS A GUY HERE,

THAT JOKE WOULD KILL.

SO WHERE DO YOU PLAN ON LIVING AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED?

- IOWA. - MAUI.

I DON'T LIKE IOWA.

THE PEOPLE ARE CORN HUSKERS, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY BRAG ABOUT.

- DO YOU PLAN ON STARTING A FAMILY?

- YES, YES, WE'RE GOING TO ADOPT FIVE BABIES.

- [chuckles] SHE'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

I'M SAYING, WHO WANTS TO ADOPT FIVE BABIES?

- NO ONE, UNLESS YOU KNOW THEY CAN HARMONIZE

AND AT LEAST ONE OF THEM CAN MOONWALK.

- [laughs]

BABY, WE'RE NOT ADOPTING.

I CAN'T WAIT TO CARRY OUR CHILD.

- OKAY, SEE, DREW WANTS US TO BE INSEMINATED

BY THE SAME DONOR AT THE SAME TIME.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. I DO NOT RECOMMEND

TWO PREGNANT WOMEN UNDER THE SAME ROOF.

WITHOUT A MAN, WHO ARE YOU GONNA BE MEAN TO UNJUSTLY?

[laughs] SEE--

AGAIN, IF THERE WAS A GUY HERE, THAT WOULD KILL RIGHT THERE.

- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE SO UPTIGHT ABOUT ADOPTION.

I SWEAR, YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

- TAKE IT BACK. - LOOK, LADIES.

I'M WATCHING YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER,

AND I'M--I'M GOING THROUGH YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE,

AND, I MEAN, OTHER THAN THE FACT

THAT YOU DRIVE MATCHING JEEP WRANGLERS,

YOU DON'T AGREE ON ANYTHING.

I MEAN, YOU'RE BAPTIST, AND YOU'RE CATHOLIC.

YOU LIKE TO SPEND MONEY, YOU PINCH PENNIES.

- I'M FRUGAL. - IS THAT CATHOLIC FOR "CHEAP"?

- OKAY, LOOK, YOU'RE PROVING MY POINT.

YOU GOT SOME BIG ISSUES TO WORK OUT.

- SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- WELL, I THINK WHAT I'M SAYING--

- NO, WHAT AREYOU SAYING?

- WELL, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS--

- WELL, SAY IT, THEN!

- OKAY, YOU DON'T WANT THIS ONE TO GET PREGNANT.

- BOYCE, ARE YOU SAYING THAT WE SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED?

- AS YOUR MINISTER, I JUST WOULD ADVISE

YOU TWO LADIES TO ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION,

"SHOULD WE BE TAKING SUCH A BIG STEP?"

- "YOU TWO LADIES." MM, THERE IT IS.

BABY, IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE GAY. LET'S GO.

- BOYCE, I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE COOL.

- HEY, HEY, NO, NO, COME ON, NOW.

I'M NOT JUDGING YOU ON THE GAY THING.

I'M COOL WITH GAY PEOPLE.

MY LITTLE COUSIN TREMAINE IS GAY.

I'VE BEEN BACKSTAGE AT TWO CIRQUE DU SOLEILS.

- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

- I DON'T KNOW. ARE THEY NOT GAY?

[sighs] [grunts]

HEY, WHERE'S LOLLI?

- I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S YOUR WIFE.

SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

- MAN, YOU'RE LIKE AN ANGRY PAULA DEEN.

WHAT'S GOT YOU SO WORKED UP?

- I'M SORRY, BRO. MY BAD.

I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH... THIS GIRL I LIKE,

AND SHE IMPLIED THAT I DON'T HAVE

PASSION OR DIRECTION IN MY LIFE.

- OH, WOW, SO SHE WASN'T IMPRESSED

BY YOUR CHRONIC UNEMPLOYMENT OR LACK OF PERMANENT ADDRESS?

- COME ON, MAN, I'M FOR REAL. I'M STRESSING OUT HERE.

IF I'M EVER GONNA HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL,

I GOTTA STEP UP MY GAME.

NOW, I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT FOR SOME WOMEN,

ALL THIS SWEET CARAMEL PERFECTION ISN'T ENOUGH!

- MMM, HEY, MAN, THIS IS GOOD. WHAT IS THIS?

- IT'S SALTED CARAMEL FUDGE WITH CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

- [chuckles] WELL, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU STRESS BAKE.

- HEY, BABY. REALLY BUSY.

OOH, SAVE ME A CUPCAKE. MAMA'S ON THE MOVE.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, SLOW DOWN THERE, FANTASIA.

- OOH, BOYCE, THANK YOU. THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

- HEY, STAMPS, BY THE WAY, DO YOU REMEMBER GINA CHAPMAN,

GIRL YOU USED TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

- YEAH, YEAH.

SHE LOVED HERSELF SOME STAMPS TOO.

- YEAH, YOU TURNED HER GAY.

- KINKY CURLY, THIS IS-- I NEED ASIAN SILKY!

NO--OH!

[laughs] ASIAN SILKY!

- I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY, BECAUSE I HAD A MISERABLE DAY.

I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL, I SEE SISTER JONES,

AND I ASK HER WHERE HER HUSBAND IS.

APPARENTLY, I SPOKE AT HIS FUNERAL LAST WEEK.

THEN SISTER PEARLY AND HER CREW COME IN MAD

ABOUT THE GAY COUPLE, AND, OH, BY THE WAY,

I PISSED OFF THE GAY COUPLE.

- OKAY, BOYCE, DOES THIS REMY HAIR SAY "CARIBBEAN VACATION"

OR "I JUST FELL IN THE KIDDIE POOL"?

- I DON'T KNOW, BABY. IT'S HAIR IN A BOX.

IT SAYS, "IT'S NOT MY HAIR."

HONEY, LOOK, I HAD MY FIRST SESSION

WITH GINA AND HER PARTNER, AND I HAD

TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY SHOULDN'T RUSH INTO MARRIAGE

LIKE I WOULD ANY OTHER COUPLE.

- LET ME SEE YOUR HAND.

- WHAT--

- LET ME KNOW IN FIVE MINUTES IF THAT BURNS.

CONTINUE.

- THEY GET UPSET AT ME AND ACCUSE ME OF NOT WANTING

TO SUPPORT THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY.

LOOK, I'VE JUST NEVER BEEN ACCUSED

OF BEING PREJUDICED BEFORE... EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME

WHEN THE COP ASKED ME WHAT'S MY HURRY,

AND I SAID, "I'M GOING TO CRACKER BARREL."

- UH-HUH.

- YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME, ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, BABE.

I ONLY HAVE TWO DAYS TO GET MY BOOTH READY FOR THE HAIR EXPO.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA BE GLAD WHEN THIS EXPO IS OVER,

SO EVERYTHING CAN GET BACK TO NORMAL.

- "BACK TO NORMAL"? NO, NO, NO, NO.

IF THIS ALL GOES WELL, THIS WILLBE NORMAL.

I MEAN, I WANT TO MAKE A NAME FOR MYSELF,

AND I WANT MY SALON TO BE PROFITABLE.

- OH, BABE, I DON'T CARE IF YOUR SALON IS PROFITABLE.

WHEN I INVESTED IN YOUR LITTLE HAIR THING,

I KNEW IT WAS JUST A HOBBY.

- SO ALL THIS IS JUST A HOBBY?

- YES, YES, IT'S JUST SOMETHING FOR YOU

TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME, THAT'S ALL.

- HOW GENEROUS OF YOU.

- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SAYING "GENEROUS,"

BUT I DON'T FEEL YOU MEAN IT THAT WAY.

- BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SUPPORTING ME.

- OH, OH, COME ON, NOW.

NO, WHO WAS OUT THERE ON THEIR OWN TODAY?

WHERE WAS MY SUPPORT?

- BOYCE, I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SUPPORT YOU!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I SUPPORTED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO ON THE ROAD.

I SUPPORTED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO CHANGE CAREERS.

I EVEN SUPPORTED YOU

WHEN YOU WENT THROUGH THAT "HAMMER PANTS" PHASE.

- YOU SAID YOU LIKED THOSE.

- BECAUSE I WAS SUPPORTING YOU!

UNLIKE THOSE PANTS.

BOYCE, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE WIND BENEATH YOUR WINGS.

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO GET UNDERNEATH MY WINGS

AND BLOW FOR A CHANGE?

DON'T.

- AAH! [blowing]

- [sighs]

[mutters]

GINA?

LOOK, YOU MIND IF I SIT?

- FREE COUNTRY. UNLESS YOU'RE GAY.

- AH, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I DESERVED THAT ONE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BY YOURSELF?

WHERE'S DREW?

- OH, AFTER WE LEFT YOU,

WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE SONG FOR OUR FIRST DANCE.

SHE ASKED ME MY OPINION,

I TELL HER WHAT IT IS,

AND THEN SHE SAYS, "YOU'RE WRONG!"

- [chuckles] YEAH.

I USUALLY LET LOLLI TELL ME WHAT MY OPINION IS,

AND THEN I AGREE WITH IT.

THAT'S HOW WE ENDED UP WITH 30 PILLOWS ON OUR BED

AND NO TV BY THE JACUZZI.

- WELL, I MEAN, IF SHE DOESN'T TELL ME SHE WANTS PEABO BRYSON,

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SHE WANTS PEABO BRYSON?

AND WHO THE HELL IS PEABO BRYSON?

- YOU--YOU GOTTA LEARN TO READ YOUR WOMAN.

LIKE, "I'M COLD" MEANS "WAKE UP, HURRY ACROSS THE ROOM,

"TURN THAT THERMOSTAT UP

LIKE SOMEBODY THAT LOVES ME WOULD DO."

- [laughs]

both: WOMEN.

- LET ME JUST ASK YOU, I MEAN--

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT DREW AND I

AREN'T READY TO GET MARRIED?

- BEFORE YOU COMMIT YOURSELF TO SOMEONE,

YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOU'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

- SO YOU AND LOLLI ARE ALWAYS ON THE SAME PAGE?

- [laughing] OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

- JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE HOLDING US TO A DIFFERENT STANDARD.

- WELL, HELL, YES.

LOOK, YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDS TO WORK

SO THAT YOU DON'T GIVE OUR CHURCH MEMBERS

MORE EXCUSES TO BE INTOLERANT.

- BOYCE, WE ARE NOT TRYING TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOUR CHURCH.

OR TO ANYONE, FOR THAT MATTER.

I LOVE THAT GIRL. THAT GIRL LOVES ME.

AND WE ARE GONNA WORK THROUGH OUR PROBLEMS,

JUST LIKE YOU AND LOLLI.

- ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S A GOOD POINT.

IF SHE IS AS COMMITTED TO YOU AS YOU ARE TO HER,

THEN EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE JUST FINE.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN YOUR OFFICE?

- BECAUSE YOU TWO WERE FIGHTING LIKE CATS AND CATS.

[both laughing]

NOW, GO AHEAD.

GO AND GET MARRIED A COUPLE OF TIMES.

[laughs]

- THANK YOU, BOYCE. - ALL RIGHT.

- AND "K" IS FOR "KIM,"

AND WHEN SHE SEES THIS,

IT WILL BE FOR...

♪ KISSING

- STAMPS!

HEY. - HEY.

- I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED ME TO COME OVER.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. - OH, YEAH, YEAH, ME TOO.

- I THINK I MET THE MAN I'M GOING TO MARRY.

HIS NAME IS MARCELLE.

- MAR--MAR-WHO? - [sighs]

YEAH, I MET HIM ON THAT DATING SITE.

YOU KNOW? AND WE JUST--

WE HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY.

LIKE, WE LOVE THE SAME MOVIES AND THE SAME MUSIC--

- HE SOUNDS VERY SUPERFICIAL.

- HE'S A PILOT.

BUT NOT THE DENZEL KIND.

HE FLIES HUMANITARIAN AID TO DISASTER AREAS.

- CHARITY WORK. SO HE'S MOSTLY BROKE.

- HE'S ACTUALLY VERY RICH.

HE CREATED AN IPHONE APP

THAT HELPS YOU FIND KITTENS THAT ARE STUCK IN TREES.

OH.

- OKAY, WELL, IF HE'S SO WONDERFUL, IF HE'S SO GREAT,

HOW COME NO WOMAN HAS SNAPPED HIM UP BEFORE NOW?

- OH, HE WAS STUDYING TO BECOME A MONK.

- OH, COME ON!

- WELL, LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR HELPING ME WITH MY PROFILE,

'CAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET MARCELLE WITHOUT YOU, SO...

OH, OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

YOU WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING?

- YEAH, I GUESS.

[clears throat]

HERE, IT'S A SALTED CARAMEL WALNUT GANACHE CUPCAKE.

IT'S MY OWN RECIPE.

- STAMPS, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU BAKE.

- YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S A PASSION OF MINE.

- OH, OKAY. WELL, THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.

BUT I'M IN DATING MODE, SO NO CARBS,

BECAUSE MARCELLE IS CRAZY FIT.

- CAN HE BAKE? - HIS CHEF DOES.

- HAVE A NICE LIFE. - OKAY.

OKAY, BYE.

- YOU GOTTA PROMISE TO KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

- I'M NOT--I'M NOT LOOKING. - OKAY, NOW, BABE.

NOW, LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HAIR,

BUT I DO KNOW PRESENTATION.

SO I CALLED MY OLD STAGE DESIGNER

AND TOLD HIM WHAT I WANTED.

SO...

VOILA! - [gasps]

IT'S BEAUTIFUL! - YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.

- [gasps] YOU DID NOT!

- YEAH, I DID.

- OH, BOYCE, I LOVE IT.

- BABE, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD,

I FIGURED YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHOW IT OFF IN STYLE.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THE FLYEST BOOTH AT THAT EXPO.

- OH, BABY, THANK YOU. - MM.

LOLLI, LOOK, I'M PROUD OF YOU.

AND I PROMISE TO WORK HARDER TO BE MORE SUPPORTIVE.

SO YOU JUST SPREAD YOUR WINGS, BABY, AND WATCH ME BLOW.

- [laughs]

WELL, WE ARE ALL ALONE IN HERE,

AND YOU DID MENTION A LITTLE EARLIER

ABOUT A LITTLE WIGGY ROLE PLAY.

- AH, I LIKE WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AT.

- UH-HUH. - YEAH.

YEAH. - OH, OKAY, OKAY.

SO YOU FEELING A LITTLE DONNA SUMMER.

- NO, BABY, I WANT TO BE RICK JAMES.

- [laughs] AH!

- LOVE NEVER GIVES UP,

NEVER LOSES FAITH,

IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL,

AND ENDURES THROUGH EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE.

GINA AND DREW,

WE WISH YOU HAPPINESS ALL THE DAYS TO COME.

HEAR, HEAR.

[cheers and applause] - THANK YOU.

THAT WAS JUST A WONDERFUL TOAST, BOYCE.

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CEREMONY.

I MEAN, THE CHURCH LOOKED BEAUTIFUL.

- GORGEOUS.

- WELL, YOU TWO MADE

SOME BEAUTIFUL... BRIDE-ZEZEZ.

IS THAT THE PLURAL? - YES, SIR.

THAT'S FINE. - OKAY. OKAY.

CAREFUL THERE, SISTER PEARLY.

YOU KNOW, THOSE ARE LESBIAN SHRIMP.

THEY SWIM THE OTHER WAY.

- DON'T MISTAKE MY LOVE OF SHELLFISH FOR APPROVAL.

I AM COMPILING EVIDENCE FOR MY COMPLAINT TO THE TRUSTEES.

- WELL, YOU GOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE ON THAT PLATE TO GET O.J. OFF.

- PARDON ME. MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

- [laughs]

FINALLY, AN OLD-FASHIONED GENTLEMAN

WHO UNDERSTANDS TRADITION.

HMM.

- [laughs]

BOYCE, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD TELL SISTER PEARLY

THAT SHE'S DANCING WITH A SISTER?

- SHE'LL FIND OUT AFTER A COUPLE MORE GLASSES OF EVIDENCE.

- [gasps] - OR SOONER.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN