All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S02E06.Bride.and.Prejudice.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED
BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- ♪ LOVE LIFTED ME

♪ YOU KNOW LOVE LIFTED ME

♪ WHEN I--

OH!
[laughs]

OH, YOU GOTTA FORGIVE ME.

SOMETIMES I GET
A LITTLE HYPED

WHEN THE COLLECTION PLATE
IS FULL.

- YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME,
DO YOU, BOYCE?

- GINA?

GIRL!

[both laughing]
WOW!

LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
SINCE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

- I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE '98,
AT THE FOX THEATER,

DURING YOUR "BITE YOUR THIGH"
TOUR.

[laughter]

- YEAH, IRONICALLY, I CHIPPED
MY TOOTH DOING THAT TOUR.

[mumbles]

SO WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?

- I'M GETTING MARRIED.
- OH.

WOW, SWEETIE.
CONGRATULATIONS.

SO I GET TO DO THE HONORS?

- WELL, WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA
DO IT IN IOWA,

BUT DREW AND I WERE HOPING

TO HAVE ANOTHER CEREMONY HERE
AT MY HOME CHURCH

FOR FRIENDS
THAT CAN'T MAKE IT.

- OF COURSE.
WELL, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HELP

YOU AND YOUR FIANCE
DOUBLE TIE YOUR KNOT.

YES, MA'AM, CAN I HELP YOU?

- OH, BOYCE,
THIS IS MY FIANCEE DREW.

- PLEASURE.

- OKAY, DREW!
OH, YOU WERE SAYING, "DREW."

I THOUGHT
YOU SAID, "DREW."

BUT YOU WERE SAYING, "DREW,"

WHERE THE "E" IS FEMININE.

- YOU'RE STILL OKAY
TO DO THE CEREMONY?

I KNOW A LOT OF PASTORS
WOULD FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

- NO, NO, NO, NOT ME.
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

- SEE, I TOLD YOU
HE WAS COOL.

- YEAH, YEAH, I'M COOL.
EVERYBODY'S COOL, SO COOL.

LISTEN, UH,
DIDN'T YOU USED TO DATE STAMPS?

- I DID.

ACTUALLY,
HE WAS THE LAST GUY

THAT I DATED
BEFORE I MET DREW.

- [laughs]

YEAH, STAMPS WILL DO THAT
TO A WOMAN.

- BUT HE WASN'T THE REASON.

- OH, WHEN I TELL THE STORY,
HE WILL BE.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ HEY

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

WHOA, BABE,
LOOK AT ALL THESE WIGS.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE BACK ROW
OF A TYLER PERRY MOVIE.

- WELL, I'M GETTING READY
FOR MY FIRST BIG HAIR SHOW,

AND I GOTTA HAVE 20 WIGS
FINISHED BY THURSDAY.

NOW, IF MY BOOTH IS A BIG HIT,

THIS COULD BE GOOD FOR ME.

THIS IS
HOW JOSE EBER STARTED.

- OH, YEAH,
I LOVE HIS TEQUILAS.

BABE, SO I HAD A LADY
COME IN MY OFFICE TODAY

WITH HER FIANCEE, WANTS ME
TO DO HER WEDDING CEREMONY.

- OH, THAT'S SWEET.
- YEAH, CHECK THIS OUT.

IF I TOLD YOU
HER FIANCEE'S NAME WAS DREW,

WOULD YOU BE THINKING
DREW CAREY

OR DREW BARRYMORE?

- YOU'RE HOOKING UP TWO WOMEN.
- HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

- 'CAUSE YOU
CAN'T STOP SMILING.

- I'M NOT SMILING.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

AIN'T NOBODY SMILING.

- I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOYCE.
- [chuckles]

- BEING ALL PROGRESSIVE
AND WHATNOT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,
I'M GONNA ANNOUNCE IT

AT THE PASTOR'S BRUNCH
TOMORROW TOO.

BABE, BY THE WAY, I THINK YOU
SHOULD WEAR THIS MICHELLE OBAMA.

- OKAY, FIRST,
DON'T TOUCH MICHELLE.

AND SECOND, HONEY, I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

I GOT A LOT OF WORK.

- UH-UH, UH-UH.

LOOK, WE ARE HOSTING
THIS THING TOGETHER.

- BUT--
- I-I NEED YOU THERE.

THERE'S GONNA BE PASTORS
FROM ALL OVER ST. LOUIS THERE.

THESE ARE MY GOOD,
GOOD, GOOD FRIENDS.

I NEED YOU TO TELL ME
THEIR NAMES.

- OH, STAMPS,
THANKS FOR PICKING UP LUNCH.

- HEY, YOU'RE LOLLI'S SISTER.
WE'RE FAMILY.

ALTHOUGH NOT SUCH CLOSE FAMILY
THAT, UH,

IT WOULD RULE OUT
OTHER THINGS.

- HUH?
- NOTHING. NOTHING.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?

- MY PROFILE
FOR A DATING WEBSITE.

- OH.

WELL, HEY, YOU KNOW,
YOU SHOULD LET ME HELP YOU OUT.

YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
CREATIVE LYING

IS WHAT I DO BEST.

I PERFECTED IT
WHEN I WAS ON THE SPACE SHUTTLE.

- [laughs] ALL RIGHT.
WELL, COME ON OVER HERE THEN,

AND HELP ME PICK OUT A PICTURE.
- WHAT YOU GOT HERE?

WHAT YOU GOT HERE?
- OKAY?

- OKAY, FIRST MISTAKE,
THAT PICTURE IS ALL WRONG.

- WHAT?
I LOOK HOT IN THAT PICTURE.

- TOO HOT.
OKAY, LOOK, THE TIGHT RED DRESS,

SHOWING ALL YOUR--
[clears throat]

LET'S PICK ANOTHER PICTURE.

HOW ABOUT, UM...
THIS ONE FROM LAST CHRISTMAS?

- I LOOK TERRIBLE IN THAT.
- EXACTLY.

YOU WANT A TERRIBLE PICTURE

BECAUSE IT SAYS THAT, UM,
YOU KNOW, THIS WOMAN IS SO FINE

THAT SHE DON'T CARE
HOW JACKED UP HER HAIR IS

AND HOW MANY TRACKS ARE FALLING
OFF HER HEAD.

- HEY.

- LET'S MOVE ON.

ALL RIGHT, UM,
DESCRIBE YOUR IDEAL MATE.

- ALL RIGHT,
WELL, HANDSOME.

FIT.

FUNNY.

STOP PLAYING AROUND, STAMPS.
- [laughs]

- OH, YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT?

HE'S GOT TO HAVE GOALS,

SOMETHING
HE'S REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

- GOALS?

PASSION?

YOU KNOW, FOR A DOCTOR
WHO'S ATTRACTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL,

YOU'RE PICKY.

[phone rings]
- HELLO?

- LOLLI, WHERE ARE YOU?
- BABE, I'M SORRY.

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO MAKE IT.

- I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP
WITH NAMES.

A GUY JUST GAVE ME
HIS NUMBER,

AND I HAD TO SAVE IT
AS "BIRD-FACE BALD GUY."

- THAT'S DARIUS ANDERSON.

OOH, OOH!

BABY, MY KIM KARDASHIAN WIG
IS ON FIRE.

GOTTA GO.

- BUT--LOLLI.
OH, GOODNESS.

- PASTOR BALLENTINE, WE NEED
TO DISCUSS YOUR MORAL COMPASS.

- SISTER PEARLY AND
THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS FUNKY BUNCH.

COME ON IN.

- IT HAS COME
TO OUR ATTENTION

THAT YOU AGREED TO HOLD
A LESBIAN CEREMONY IN MY CHURCH.

- ALL RIGHT, NOW,
IF YOU ARE REFERRING

TO THE SAME-SEX CEREMONY
I AGREED TO OFFICIATE

IN OUR CHURCH,
THEN YOU ARE CORRECT.

- AND AS OUR LEADER,
IT IS YOUR JOB TO REPRESENT

OUR BELIEFS,
NOT PARTAKE IN THIS ABOMINATION.

OH, IT IS
A SLIPPERY SLOPE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU ARE ALL GONNA LISTEN TO ME.

I AM GONNA TREAT THESE WOMEN
LIKE I WOULD ANY OTHER COUPLE,

AND IF YOU GOT
A PROBLEM WITH THAT,

YOU CAN TAKE IT UP
WITH THE HUNDREDS OF PASTORS

THAT'S DOWNSTAIRS
FIGHTING OVER 30 MEATBALLS.

COME ON.

COME ON.
YEAH.

- MARK MY WORDS, PASTOR.

IF YOU CONTINUE DOWN THIS PATH,
I WILL CONVENE A MEETING

WITH THE CHURCH ELDERS,
AND WE WILL KICK

YOUR SACRILEGIOUS BUTT
TO THE CURB.

- [scoffs]

SHE WASHED JESUS' FEET
ONE TIME,

AND NOW SHE THINKS
SHE KNOW HIM.

- YOU KNOW, I USUALLY LIKE
TO START OFF

THESE PREMARITAL COUNSELING
SESSIONS WITH A LITTLE JOKE

ABOUT HOW MEN ARE FROM MARS
AND WOMEN ARE FROM A PLANET

THAT HASN'T BEEN DISCOVERED YET.
[laughs]

TRUST ME,
IF THERE WAS A GUY HERE,

THAT JOKE WOULD KILL.

SO WHERE DO YOU PLAN ON LIVING
AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED?

- IOWA.
- MAUI.

I DON'T LIKE IOWA.

THE PEOPLE ARE CORN HUSKERS,
AND THAT'S WHAT THEY BRAG ABOUT.

- DO YOU PLAN ON STARTING
A FAMILY?

- YES, YES, WE'RE GOING
TO ADOPT FIVE BABIES.

- [chuckles]
SHE'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

I'M SAYING,
WHO WANTS TO ADOPT FIVE BABIES?

- NO ONE, UNLESS YOU KNOW
THEY CAN HARMONIZE

AND AT LEAST ONE OF THEM
CAN MOONWALK.

- [laughs]

BABY, WE'RE NOT ADOPTING.

I CAN'T WAIT
TO CARRY OUR CHILD.

- OKAY, SEE, DREW WANTS US
TO BE INSEMINATED

BY THE SAME DONOR
AT THE SAME TIME.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND

TWO PREGNANT WOMEN
UNDER THE SAME ROOF.

WITHOUT A MAN, WHO ARE YOU
GONNA BE MEAN TO UNJUSTLY?

[laughs]
SEE--

AGAIN, IF THERE WAS A GUY HERE,
THAT WOULD KILL RIGHT THERE.

- I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU ARE
SO UPTIGHT ABOUT ADOPTION.

I SWEAR, YOU ARE JUST LIKE
YOUR MOTHER.

- TAKE IT BACK.
- LOOK, LADIES.

I'M WATCHING YOU TALK
TO EACH OTHER,

AND I'M--I'M GOING
THROUGH YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE,

AND, I MEAN,
OTHER THAN THE FACT

THAT YOU DRIVE
MATCHING JEEP WRANGLERS,

YOU DON'T AGREE ON ANYTHING.

I MEAN, YOU'RE BAPTIST,
AND YOU'RE CATHOLIC.

YOU LIKE TO SPEND MONEY,
YOU PINCH PENNIES.

- I'M FRUGAL.
- IS THAT CATHOLIC FOR "CHEAP"?

- OKAY, LOOK,
YOU'RE PROVING MY POINT.

YOU GOT SOME BIG ISSUES
TO WORK OUT.

- SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- WELL, I THINK
WHAT I'M SAYING--

- NO, WHAT AREYOU SAYING?

- WELL, WHAT I'M TRYING
TO SAY IS--

- WELL, SAY IT, THEN!

- OKAY, YOU DON'T WANT THIS ONE
TO GET PREGNANT.

- BOYCE, ARE YOU SAYING
THAT WE SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED?

- AS YOUR MINISTER,
I JUST WOULD ADVISE

YOU TWO LADIES
TO ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION,

"SHOULD WE BE TAKING
SUCH A BIG STEP?"

- "YOU TWO LADIES."
MM, THERE IT IS.

BABY, IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE GAY.
LET'S GO.

- BOYCE, I THOUGHT
THAT YOU WERE COOL.

- HEY, HEY, NO, NO,
COME ON, NOW.

I'M NOT JUDGING YOU
ON THE GAY THING.

I'M COOL WITH GAY PEOPLE.

MY LITTLE COUSIN TREMAINE
IS GAY.

I'VE BEEN BACKSTAGE
AT TWO CIRQUE DU SOLEILS.

- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

- I DON'T KNOW.
ARE THEY NOT GAY?

[sighs]
[grunts]

HEY, WHERE'S LOLLI?

- I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S YOUR WIFE.

SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW
WHERE SHE IS?

- MAN, YOU'RE LIKE
AN ANGRY PAULA DEEN.

WHAT'S GOT YOU SO WORKED UP?

- I'M SORRY, BRO.
MY BAD.

I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH...
THIS GIRL I LIKE,

AND SHE IMPLIED
THAT I DON'T HAVE

PASSION OR DIRECTION
IN MY LIFE.

- OH, WOW,
SO SHE WASN'T IMPRESSED

BY YOUR CHRONIC UNEMPLOYMENT
OR LACK OF PERMANENT ADDRESS?

- COME ON, MAN, I'M FOR REAL.
I'M STRESSING OUT HERE.

IF I'M EVER GONNA HAVE
A CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL,

I GOTTA STEP UP MY GAME.

NOW, I KNOW IT'S HARD
TO BELIEVE, BUT FOR SOME WOMEN,

ALL THIS SWEET CARAMEL
PERFECTION ISN'T ENOUGH!

- MMM, HEY, MAN, THIS IS GOOD.
WHAT IS THIS?

- IT'S SALTED CARAMEL FUDGE
WITH CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

- [chuckles] WELL, I LOVE IT
WHEN YOU STRESS BAKE.

- HEY, BABY.
REALLY BUSY.

OOH, SAVE ME A CUPCAKE.
MAMA'S ON THE MOVE.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
SLOW DOWN THERE, FANTASIA.

- OOH, BOYCE, THANK YOU.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.

- HEY, STAMPS, BY THE WAY,
DO YOU REMEMBER GINA CHAPMAN,

GIRL YOU USED TO DATE
IN HIGH SCHOOL?

- YEAH, YEAH.

SHE LOVED HERSELF
SOME STAMPS TOO.

- YEAH, YOU TURNED HER GAY.

- KINKY CURLY, THIS IS--
I NEED ASIAN SILKY!

NO--OH!

[laughs]
ASIAN SILKY!

- I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY,
BECAUSE I HAD A MISERABLE DAY.

I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL,
I SEE SISTER JONES,

AND I ASK HER
WHERE HER HUSBAND IS.

APPARENTLY, I SPOKE
AT HIS FUNERAL LAST WEEK.

THEN SISTER PEARLY AND HER CREW
COME IN MAD

ABOUT THE GAY COUPLE,
AND, OH, BY THE WAY,

I PISSED OFF
THE GAY COUPLE.

- OKAY, BOYCE, DOES THIS REMY
HAIR SAY "CARIBBEAN VACATION"

OR "I JUST FELL
IN THE KIDDIE POOL"?

- I DON'T KNOW, BABY.
IT'S HAIR IN A BOX.

IT SAYS, "IT'S NOT MY HAIR."

HONEY, LOOK, I HAD
MY FIRST SESSION

WITH GINA AND HER PARTNER,
AND I HAD

TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY
SHOULDN'T RUSH INTO MARRIAGE

LIKE I WOULD ANY OTHER COUPLE.

- LET ME SEE YOUR HAND.

- WHAT--

- LET ME KNOW IN FIVE MINUTES
IF THAT BURNS.

CONTINUE.

- THEY GET UPSET AT ME
AND ACCUSE ME OF NOT WANTING

TO SUPPORT THEM
BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY.

LOOK, I'VE JUST NEVER
BEEN ACCUSED

OF BEING PREJUDICED BEFORE...
EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME

WHEN THE COP ASKED ME
WHAT'S MY HURRY,

AND I SAID,
"I'M GOING TO CRACKER BARREL."

- UH-HUH.

- YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING
TO ME, ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT THAT
I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, BABE.

I ONLY HAVE TWO DAYS TO GET MY
BOOTH READY FOR THE HAIR EXPO.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA BE GLAD
WHEN THIS EXPO IS OVER,

SO EVERYTHING CAN GET BACK
TO NORMAL.

- "BACK TO NORMAL"?
NO, NO, NO, NO.

IF THIS ALL GOES WELL,
THIS WILLBE NORMAL.

I MEAN, I WANT TO MAKE
A NAME FOR MYSELF,

AND I WANT MY SALON
TO BE PROFITABLE.

- OH, BABE, I DON'T CARE
IF YOUR SALON IS PROFITABLE.

WHEN I INVESTED
IN YOUR LITTLE HAIR THING,

I KNEW IT WAS JUST A HOBBY.

- SO ALL THIS
IS JUST A HOBBY?

- YES, YES,
IT'S JUST SOMETHING FOR YOU

TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME,
THAT'S ALL.

- HOW GENEROUS OF YOU.

- YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE SAYING "GENEROUS,"

BUT I DON'T FEEL
YOU MEAN IT THAT WAY.

- BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
SUPPORTING ME.

- OH, OH, COME ON, NOW.

NO, WHO WAS OUT THERE
ON THEIR OWN TODAY?

WHERE WAS MY SUPPORT?

- BOYCE, I'VE DONE NOTHING
BUT SUPPORT YOU!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I SUPPORTED YOU WHEN YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO GO ON THE ROAD.

I SUPPORTED YOU WHEN YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO CHANGE CAREERS.

I EVEN SUPPORTED YOU

WHEN YOU WENT THROUGH
THAT "HAMMER PANTS" PHASE.

- YOU SAID YOU LIKED THOSE.

- BECAUSE I WAS
SUPPORTING YOU!

UNLIKE THOSE PANTS.

BOYCE, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
THE WIND BENEATH YOUR WINGS.

WOULD IT KILL YOU
TO GET UNDERNEATH MY WINGS

AND BLOW FOR A CHANGE?

DON'T.

- AAH!
[blowing]

- [sighs]

[mutters]

GINA?

LOOK, YOU MIND IF I SIT?

- FREE COUNTRY.
UNLESS YOU'RE GAY.

- AH, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I DESERVED THAT ONE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
BY YOURSELF?

WHERE'S DREW?

- OH, AFTER WE LEFT YOU,

WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT ABOUT
THE SONG FOR OUR FIRST DANCE.

SHE ASKED ME MY OPINION,

I TELL HER WHAT IT IS,

AND THEN SHE SAYS,
"YOU'RE WRONG!"

- [chuckles]
YEAH.

I USUALLY LET LOLLI
TELL ME WHAT MY OPINION IS,

AND THEN I AGREE WITH IT.

THAT'S HOW WE ENDED UP
WITH 30 PILLOWS ON OUR BED

AND NO TV BY THE JACUZZI.

- WELL, I MEAN, IF SHE DOESN'T
TELL ME SHE WANTS PEABO BRYSON,

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THAT SHE WANTS PEABO BRYSON?

AND WHO THE HELL
IS PEABO BRYSON?

- YOU--YOU GOTTA LEARN
TO READ YOUR WOMAN.

LIKE, "I'M COLD" MEANS
"WAKE UP, HURRY ACROSS THE ROOM,

"TURN THAT THERMOSTAT UP

LIKE SOMEBODY THAT LOVES ME
WOULD DO."

- [laughs]

both: WOMEN.

- LET ME JUST ASK YOU,
I MEAN--

DO YOU REALLY THINK
THAT DREW AND I

AREN'T READY TO GET MARRIED?

- BEFORE YOU COMMIT YOURSELF
TO SOMEONE,

YOU HAVE TO KNOW
YOU'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

- SO YOU AND LOLLI ARE ALWAYS
ON THE SAME PAGE?

- [laughing]
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

- JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE HOLDING
US TO A DIFFERENT STANDARD.

- WELL, HELL, YES.

LOOK, YOUR MARRIAGE
NEEDS TO WORK

SO THAT YOU DON'T GIVE
OUR CHURCH MEMBERS

MORE EXCUSES
TO BE INTOLERANT.

- BOYCE, WE ARE NOT TRYING TO
PROVE ANYTHING TO YOUR CHURCH.

OR TO ANYONE,
FOR THAT MATTER.

I LOVE THAT GIRL.
THAT GIRL LOVES ME.

AND WE ARE GONNA WORK
THROUGH OUR PROBLEMS,

JUST LIKE YOU AND LOLLI.

- ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S A GOOD POINT.

IF SHE IS AS COMMITTED TO YOU
AS YOU ARE TO HER,

THEN EVERYTHING
IS GONNA BE JUST FINE.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT
IN YOUR OFFICE?

- BECAUSE YOU TWO WERE FIGHTING
LIKE CATS AND CATS.

[both laughing]

NOW, GO AHEAD.

GO AND GET MARRIED
A COUPLE OF TIMES.

[laughs]

- THANK YOU, BOYCE.
- ALL RIGHT.

- AND "K" IS FOR "KIM,"

AND WHEN SHE SEES THIS,

IT WILL BE FOR...

♪ KISSING

- STAMPS!

HEY.
- HEY.

- I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ASKED ME
TO COME OVER.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- OH, YEAH, YEAH, ME TOO.

- I THINK I MET THE MAN
I'M GOING TO MARRY.

HIS NAME IS MARCELLE.

- MAR--MAR-WHO?
- [sighs]

YEAH, I MET HIM
ON THAT DATING SITE.

YOU KNOW?
AND WE JUST--

WE HIT IT OFF RIGHT AWAY.

LIKE, WE LOVE THE SAME MOVIES
AND THE SAME MUSIC--

- HE SOUNDS
VERY SUPERFICIAL.

- HE'S A PILOT.

BUT NOT THE DENZEL KIND.

HE FLIES HUMANITARIAN AID
TO DISASTER AREAS.

- CHARITY WORK.
SO HE'S MOSTLY BROKE.

- HE'S ACTUALLY VERY RICH.

HE CREATED AN IPHONE APP

THAT HELPS YOU FIND KITTENS
THAT ARE STUCK IN TREES.

OH.

- OKAY, WELL, IF HE'S
SO WONDERFUL, IF HE'S SO GREAT,

HOW COME NO WOMAN
HAS SNAPPED HIM UP BEFORE NOW?

- OH, HE WAS STUDYING
TO BECOME A MONK.

- OH, COME ON!

- WELL, LOOK, I JUST WANTED
TO THANK YOU

FOR HELPING ME
WITH MY PROFILE,

'CAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET
MARCELLE WITHOUT YOU, SO...

OH, OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.

YOU WANTED
TO SHOW ME SOMETHING?

- YEAH, I GUESS.

[clears throat]

HERE, IT'S A SALTED CARAMEL
WALNUT GANACHE CUPCAKE.

IT'S MY OWN RECIPE.

- STAMPS, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU BAKE.

- YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A PASSION OF MINE.

- OH, OKAY.
WELL, THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.

BUT I'M IN DATING MODE,
SO NO CARBS,

BECAUSE MARCELLE
IS CRAZY FIT.

- CAN HE BAKE?
- HIS CHEF DOES.

- HAVE A NICE LIFE.
- OKAY.

OKAY, BYE.

- YOU GOTTA PROMISE
TO KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

- I'M NOT--I'M NOT LOOKING.
- OKAY, NOW, BABE.

NOW, LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT HAIR,

BUT I DO KNOW PRESENTATION.

SO I CALLED
MY OLD STAGE DESIGNER

AND TOLD HIM WHAT I WANTED.

SO...

VOILA!
- [gasps]

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
- YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.

- [gasps]
YOU DID NOT!

- YEAH, I DID.

- OH, BOYCE, I LOVE IT.

- BABE, YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
SO HARD,

I FIGURED YOU MIGHT AS WELL
SHOW IT OFF IN STYLE.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
THE FLYEST BOOTH AT THAT EXPO.

- OH, BABY, THANK YOU.
- MM.

LOLLI, LOOK,
I'M PROUD OF YOU.

AND I PROMISE TO WORK HARDER
TO BE MORE SUPPORTIVE.

SO YOU JUST SPREAD YOUR WINGS,
BABY, AND WATCH ME BLOW.

- [laughs]

WELL, WE ARE ALL ALONE
IN HERE,

AND YOU DID MENTION
A LITTLE EARLIER

ABOUT A LITTLE WIGGY
ROLE PLAY.

- AH, I LIKE
WHERE YOUR HEAD IS AT.

- UH-HUH.
- YEAH.

YEAH.
- OH, OKAY, OKAY.

SO YOU FEELING
A LITTLE DONNA SUMMER.

- NO, BABY, I WANT
TO BE RICK JAMES.

- [laughs] AH!

- LOVE NEVER GIVES UP,

NEVER LOSES FAITH,

IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL,

AND ENDURES
THROUGH EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE.

GINA AND DREW,

WE WISH YOU HAPPINESS
ALL THE DAYS TO COME.

HEAR, HEAR.

[cheers and applause]
- THANK YOU.

THAT WAS JUST
A WONDERFUL TOAST, BOYCE.

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR THE CEREMONY.

I MEAN,
THE CHURCH LOOKED BEAUTIFUL.

- GORGEOUS.

- WELL, YOU TWO MADE

SOME BEAUTIFUL...
BRIDE-ZEZEZ.

IS THAT THE PLURAL?
- YES, SIR.

THAT'S FINE.
- OKAY. OKAY.

CAREFUL THERE,
SISTER PEARLY.

YOU KNOW,
THOSE ARE LESBIAN SHRIMP.

THEY SWIM THE OTHER WAY.

- DON'T MISTAKE MY LOVE
OF SHELLFISH FOR APPROVAL.

I AM COMPILING EVIDENCE FOR
MY COMPLAINT TO THE TRUSTEES.

- WELL, YOU GOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE
ON THAT PLATE TO GET O.J. OFF.

- PARDON ME.
MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

- [laughs]

FINALLY,
AN OLD-FASHIONED GENTLEMAN

WHO UNDERSTANDS TRADITION.

HMM.

- [laughs]

BOYCE, DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD TELL SISTER PEARLY

THAT SHE'S DANCING
WITH A SISTER?

- SHE'LL FIND OUT AFTER A COUPLE
MORE GLASSES OF EVIDENCE.

- [gasps]
- OR SOONER.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN