All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S02E05.The.Punching.Preacher.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,899 --> 00:00:03,934 - THE SOUL MAN IS RECORDED IN FRONT 2 00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:05,867 OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 3 00:00:05,902 --> 00:00:08,456 - BIRD, SINCE WHEN DOES A PART OWNER 4 00:00:08,491 --> 00:00:11,011 HAVE TO PAY FOR FOOD AT HIS OWN RESTAURANT? 5 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,253 - WELL, I HATE TO BREAK THE NEWS TO YOU, BOYCE, 6 00:00:12,288 --> 00:00:14,876 BUT BIRD'S IS STRUGGLING. 7 00:00:14,911 --> 00:00:16,223 - BREAK THE NEWS? 8 00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:17,534 MAN, YOU SAY IT SO OFTEN, 9 00:00:17,569 --> 00:00:19,191 WE NEED TO PUT IT ON THE SIGN. 10 00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:22,056 "WELCOME TO BIRD'S, WE STRUGGLIN'. 11 00:00:22,091 --> 00:00:24,162 WE MIGHT HAVE WHAT YOU ORDER." 12 00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,542 - DON'T WORRY. 13 00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:29,029 I LINED UP A GOLDEN ANGEL FOR A MAJOR CASH INFUSION. 14 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,652 - I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MORE MONEY, BIRD. 15 00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:32,860 - I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR GRANDMA TO HAVE 16 00:00:32,894 --> 00:00:36,864 ANOTHER "SLIP AND FALL" AT JAMBA JUICE. 17 00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:38,348 - IT'S GETTING SO A GIRL CAN'T EVEN 18 00:00:38,383 --> 00:00:40,902 WALK TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT BEING HIT ON. 19 00:00:40,937 --> 00:00:42,352 THIS IDIOT JUST WHISTLED AT ME 20 00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:44,285 AND TOLD ME HE THOUGHT I WAS HOT. 21 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,011 - WELL, HE WAS RIGHT. 22 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,633 YOU ARE HOT. - MMM. 23 00:00:47,668 --> 00:00:49,083 - HEY, LET'S WALK PAST HIM WHEN WE LEAVE 24 00:00:49,118 --> 00:00:51,499 SO HE CAN SEE WHO THE LUCKY MAN IS. 25 00:00:51,534 --> 00:00:53,398 - WE'VE BEEN MARRIED OVER 20 YEARS 26 00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:57,643 AND YOU STILL WANNA RUB ME IN OTHER MEN'S FACES? 27 00:00:57,678 --> 00:01:00,198 - WELL, THERE'S PROBABLY A BETTER WAY OF SAYING IT, 28 00:01:00,232 --> 00:01:01,716 BUT YEAH, I DO. 29 00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:03,615 - [laughs] 30 00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:05,720 - MM. MM. MM. MM. MMM. 31 00:01:05,755 --> 00:01:07,067 OH, THIS WHO YOU WITH? 32 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,930 - THAT'S HIM. - MY MAN. 33 00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,725 YOU HIT THE JACKPOT. 34 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,003 - YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW. - WHOO! 35 00:01:13,038 --> 00:01:15,213 - YOU KNOW, AND I THANK GOD EVERY DAY. 36 00:01:15,247 --> 00:01:18,250 - MAN, THAT BOOTY JUST PROVES THERE IS A GOD. 37 00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:20,010 - OKAY, I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT, 38 00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,874 BUT THE GOD I KNOW WOULD TELL YOU 39 00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:23,428 TO COOL OUT RIGHT NOW. 40 00:01:23,462 --> 00:01:25,464 - COME ON, BOYCE, LET'S JUST WALK AWAY. 41 00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:28,433 - LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING WHAT EVERY MAN IN HERE'S THINKING. 42 00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:30,124 - HEY, YOU DISRESPECTIN' MY WIFE, MAN. 43 00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:31,332 - OH, YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS? 44 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,506 - [gasps] 45 00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,094 - LOOK, YOU NEED TO COOL OUT, PARTNER. 46 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,302 - I'M SORRY, BABY. 47 00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:37,476 LOOK, HOW ABOUT WE GO OUT TO MY VAN-- 48 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,754 - OOH! 49 00:01:39,789 --> 00:01:42,343 - WHAT'S UP? 50 00:01:42,378 --> 00:01:45,139 WHO ELSE IN HERE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? 51 00:01:45,174 --> 00:01:48,108 [upbeat R&B music] 52 00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:53,389 ♪ 53 00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:56,357 [upbeat gospel music] 54 00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:57,634 ♪ 55 00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:01,190 ♪ THE SOUL MAN 56 00:02:01,224 --> 00:02:03,192 WHEN SHAFT HIT A GUY, 57 00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:05,815 HE JUST WALKED AWAY COOL WITH HIS LEATHER JACKET ON. 58 00:02:05,849 --> 00:02:07,506 THEY AIN'T SHOW HIM THAT HIS HAND SWOLE UP 59 00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:11,683 SO BIG HE COULDN'T TAKE HIS LEATHER JACKET OFF. 60 00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:13,374 - WELL, SHAFT DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD WOMAN 61 00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:16,515 TO BRING HIM A BOO-BOO BUDDY. 62 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,620 CAN YOU DIG IT? 63 00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:20,416 - RIGHT ON. 64 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,142 AH, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 65 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,144 I HADN'T HAD A FIGHT IN DECADES. 66 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,352 - WELL, THAT GUY WAS AN IDIOT, 67 00:02:25,386 --> 00:02:26,560 AND YOU DID WHAT ANY MAN 68 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,182 WOULD'VE DONE IN THAT SITUATION. 69 00:02:28,217 --> 00:02:29,287 - BUT I'M A PASTOR NOW. 70 00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,220 I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SLOW TO ANGER. 71 00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:32,807 - YOU WERE SLOW TO ANGER. 72 00:02:32,842 --> 00:02:35,845 IT WAS YOUR FISTS THAT WERE IN A HURRY. 73 00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:38,572 - I KNOW. IT'S A GIFT. 74 00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:41,195 I DON'T OWN IT. 75 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:43,715 - WELL, WHAT'S DONE IS DONE. 76 00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:45,061 YOU ALREADY BEAT THE GUY UP. 77 00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:47,581 DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP TOO. 78 00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:49,824 - WHAT'S UP, BIG BRO? HOW'S YOUR HAND? 79 00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:52,448 HIT THAT DUDE WITH THE ONE-HITTER QUITTER, HUH? 80 00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:54,174 - STAMPS, I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I DID. 81 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,417 - YOU SHOULD BE, STANDING UP FOR YOUR WOMAN. 82 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,039 I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I WOULD'VE DONE, 83 00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:00,628 DEPENDING ON HER LOOKS. 84 00:03:00,663 --> 00:03:02,423 - W-WAIT A MINUTE. 85 00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:04,080 HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT BIRD'S TONIGHT? 86 00:03:04,114 --> 00:03:05,219 - BECAUSE I'M CONNECTED. 87 00:03:05,254 --> 00:03:06,772 CHECK IT. 88 00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:09,016 - FORMER R&B STAR BOYCE BALLENTINE, 89 00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:10,914 WHO MORE THAN ONCE POPPED A PAPARAZZI, 90 00:03:10,949 --> 00:03:12,571 APPARENTLY HAS NOT CHANGED HIS WAYS 91 00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,194 SINCE BECOMING A MINISTER. 92 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,988 IN AN UNGODLY DISPLAY OF POOR JUDGMENT, 93 00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:17,611 BOYCE THE VOICE PUNCHED THE TICKET 94 00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:19,371 OF AN INNOCENT MAN IN A ST. LOUIS EATERY. 95 00:03:19,406 --> 00:03:21,787 - [gasps] - YEAH! 96 00:03:21,822 --> 00:03:24,100 WHO ELSE IN HERE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? 97 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:27,793 - SO SOMEONE WAS RECORDING IT? 98 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,139 - HEY, IT'S THE 21ST CENTURY. 99 00:03:29,174 --> 00:03:30,969 EVERYBODY'S RECORDING EVERYTHING. 100 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,108 I MEAN, YOU DON'T JUST GET LUCKY 101 00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:35,042 AND FIND A PANDA BEAR SNEEZING. 102 00:03:35,076 --> 00:03:36,940 - AH, MAN, I CAN'T HAVE THIS. 103 00:03:36,975 --> 00:03:38,666 NOW MY FLOCK IS GONNA THINK THEIR SHEPHERD 104 00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:42,601 CAN'T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF THE SHEEP. 105 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,880 Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 106 00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,157 - OKAY, HERE'S THE THING. 107 00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:48,918 I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH 108 00:03:48,952 --> 00:03:51,231 THAT THIS IS ALL GONNA BE OKAY-- 109 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,336 PROBABLY. 110 00:03:53,371 --> 00:03:54,717 - I DON'T SEE HOW. 111 00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:57,237 ONCE THOSE CHURCH ELDERS SINK THEIR DENTURES INTO THIS, 112 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,480 THAT'S IT FOR ME. 113 00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:00,654 MAYBE I CAN GET A JOB 114 00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:02,207 DOWN AT ONE OF THOSE WHITE CHURCHES. 115 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:06,246 THEY LET THEIR PASTORS DO ANYTHING. 116 00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,041 - I'M TELLING YOU, PASTOR, 117 00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,665 THE SERMON WAS INSPIRATIONAL AND A KNOCKOUT. 118 00:04:11,699 --> 00:04:14,564 IN FACT, I BOBBED AND WEAVED. 119 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:18,810 - OKAY, APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT. 120 00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:21,019 BABE, I'VE BEEN GETTING LOVE ALL MORNING ON THIS. 121 00:04:21,053 --> 00:04:22,814 I MEAN, WE DODGED A BULLET HERE. 122 00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:24,402 - GIVE ME SOME. - OW! 123 00:04:24,436 --> 00:04:25,851 OOH. 124 00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:27,336 - SORRY. 125 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:30,097 WELL, WE'RE LUCKY WE HAVE A VERY UNDERSTANDING FLOCK, 126 00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,685 EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR SISTER PEARLY. 127 00:04:31,719 --> 00:04:35,171 SHE GAVE YOU THE STINK EYE ALL DURING THE LORD'S PRAYER. 128 00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:37,000 - YEAH, SHE USED TO BE A LITTLE UPSET WITH JESUS 129 00:04:37,035 --> 00:04:39,969 FOR TURNING WATER INTO WINE. 130 00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:41,764 - GUESS WHAT I GOT. - A JOB? 131 00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:42,903 - THE MONEY YOU OWE ME? 132 00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:46,596 - A SCHOLARSHIP TO ITT TECH? 133 00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:47,735 - BETTER. 134 00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:49,150 NOW REMEMBER I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA MASH UP 135 00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:51,014 THAT VIDEO OF YOU AND THROW IT ON YOUTUBE? 136 00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:52,464 - YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT. 137 00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,984 - I MASHED UP THAT VIDEO OF YOU AND THREW IT ON YOUTUBE. 138 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:56,434 AND IT'S GONE VIRAL. 139 00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:57,538 - OH, STAMPS, COME ON. 140 00:04:57,573 --> 00:04:58,815 WE TRYING TO MAKE THIS THING GO AWAY. 141 00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,092 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? 142 00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:04,476 - FOUR CANS OF RED BULL AND NOTHING ON TV. 143 00:05:04,511 --> 00:05:06,409 [energetic dance music] 144 00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:08,204 - ♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪ 145 00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:10,240 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 146 00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,450 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 147 00:05:12,484 --> 00:05:14,452 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 148 00:05:14,486 --> 00:05:16,143 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 149 00:05:16,177 --> 00:05:17,972 - ♪ YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS? 150 00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:19,422 [echoing] ♪ YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS? 151 00:05:19,457 --> 00:05:21,493 - ♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT, PARTNER ♪ 152 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:22,494 ♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT, PARTNER ♪ 153 00:05:22,529 --> 00:05:23,495 both: COOL IT, PARTNER. 154 00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:25,463 - YEAH! - ♪ COOL IT, PARTNER 155 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:27,085 - YEAH, YEAH. LOOK, MAN, CHECK THIS OUT. 156 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,397 YOU ALREADY GOT 1/2 MILLION HITS. 157 00:05:28,431 --> 00:05:30,053 THEY'RE CALLING YOU "THE PUNCHING PREACHER." 158 00:05:30,088 --> 00:05:31,676 - THEY'RE CALLING ME THE PUNCHING PREACHER. 159 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:35,887 - YEAH! - [laughs] 160 00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:39,373 - YEAH, I TOTALLY DISAPPROVE OF THAT COMPLETELY. 161 00:05:39,408 --> 00:05:42,411 - WHAT KIND OF A SICK WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN 162 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,413 WHEN 1/2 MILLION PEOPLE WANNA WATCH A MAN 163 00:05:44,447 --> 00:05:46,587 GET KNOCKED OUT OVER AND OVER? 164 00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:49,556 - [mumbling] I DON'T KNOW. 165 00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:52,179 - Y'ALL WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN, DON'T YOU? 166 00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:53,629 - I MEAN, JUST A LITTLE BIT, IF YOU DON'T MIND. 167 00:05:53,663 --> 00:05:55,285 - GO AHEAD. 168 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,286 - COME ON, JUST RUN IT BACK. RUN IT BACK. 169 00:05:56,321 --> 00:05:57,564 GET IT-- YEAH, MAKE IT LOUD. 170 00:05:57,598 --> 00:05:58,703 ♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪ 171 00:05:58,737 --> 00:06:00,360 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 172 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,431 both: ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 173 00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:04,225 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 174 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,710 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY 175 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:09,161 - AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY. 176 00:06:09,196 --> 00:06:11,578 all: BOYCE! 177 00:06:11,612 --> 00:06:15,133 - IF IT ISN'T THE PUNCHING PREACHER AND HIS LADY FAIR. 178 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:18,308 - BIRD, WHY IS THERE AN OUTLINE OF A BODY 179 00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:20,069 TAPED TO YOUR FLOOR? 180 00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:22,174 - I WAS COMMEMORATING THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO BIRD'S 181 00:06:22,209 --> 00:06:23,659 SINCE MARTIN LUTHER KING'S COUSIN'S DAUGHTER 182 00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:24,729 SAT IN THAT BOOTH. 183 00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:26,972 WAIT. THAT BOOTH. 184 00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:28,974 BUSINESS IS UP 75% 185 00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:31,218 THANKS TO THE GOOD PASTOR'S TEMPER TANTRUM. 186 00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:32,771 - 75%? - MM-HMM. 187 00:06:32,806 --> 00:06:34,048 - BIRD, WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY, 188 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:37,776 WE CAN TAKE THE QUOTATION MARKS OFF OF "FRESH" FISH. 189 00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:40,538 - BOYS, IS THIS THE IMAGE YOU REALLY WANT TO PROJECT? 190 00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:41,987 I MEAN, OUTLINES OF BODIES 191 00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:44,507 IS WHY WE MOVED OUT OF OUR FIRST APARTMENT-- 192 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,406 AND OUR SECOND. 193 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,993 - NOT TO WORRY, LOLLI, MY LOVE. 194 00:06:48,028 --> 00:06:49,650 THIS DISPLAY IS JUST TEMPORARY. 195 00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:51,169 I GOT A REAL ARTISTE COMING. 196 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,860 MY BOY, GATOR MOUTH TONY, 197 00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:54,966 HE'S WORKING ON A SCULPTURE OF BOYCE MADE OF COPPER. 198 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,795 WE JUST NEED TWO MORE STREETLIGHTS WORTH OF WIRE 199 00:06:56,830 --> 00:07:00,143 AND WE'RE DONE. 200 00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:01,317 - HEY, BOYCE. 201 00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:02,318 HEY, LOLLI. 202 00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:04,044 SCOOT. SCOOT, SCOOT. 203 00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:06,184 - STAMPS, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SHOW UP WHEN IT'S TIME TO EAT? 204 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,082 - BECAUSE IF I SHOW UP AFTER IT'S TIME TO EAT, 205 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:11,500 I DON'T GET TO EAT. 206 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:13,674 - I'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU GUYS ONE OF OUR NEW SPECIALTY DRINKS: 207 00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:15,055 PREACHER'S PUNCH. 208 00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:18,058 IF YOU DON'T WANT ONE, DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH. 209 00:07:20,198 --> 00:07:24,340 - BIRD, I CANNOT ENDORSE AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE, OKAY? 210 00:07:24,374 --> 00:07:26,756 GIVE US THREE VIRGIN PREACHER'S PUNCHES. 211 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,896 - NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT ONE OF THOSE DRINKS. 212 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,553 I'LL JUST HAVE WATER, PLEASE. 213 00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:31,865 - ALL RIGHT. 214 00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:33,660 YOU WANT THOSE PUNCHES WITH A BLACK EYE? 215 00:07:33,694 --> 00:07:35,109 - A BLACK EYE? WHAT'S THAT? 216 00:07:35,144 --> 00:07:38,078 - OH, THAT IS A SHOT OF BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE SYRUP. 217 00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:40,529 - OOH! OKAY, NOW THAT IS MY KIND OF-- 218 00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:43,014 UH, NO, I DON'T WANT THAT. 219 00:07:44,602 --> 00:07:46,845 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LETTING BIRD EXPLOIT YOU LIKE THIS. 220 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,226 - THANK YOU, STAMPS. 221 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,124 I'M FEELING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY. 222 00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:51,643 - I MEAN, IF ANYBODY'S GONNA PIMP YOU OUT, 223 00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:53,369 IT SHOULD BE BLOOD. 224 00:07:53,403 --> 00:07:55,716 - STAMPS, I AM NOT GONNA MAKE MONEY OFF OF THIS. 225 00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:56,717 - WELL, YOU SHOULD. 226 00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:57,891 AFTER DAVID SLAYED GOLIATH, 227 00:07:57,925 --> 00:08:00,238 HE OPENED UP A GIFT SHOP. 228 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:01,757 - HE DID NOT. 229 00:08:01,791 --> 00:08:02,930 - WELL, HE WOULD HAVE IF HIS BROTHER 230 00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:06,313 WAS A BETTER MANAGER. 231 00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:11,594 - BOYCE, I WANT YOU TO MEET AMBIANCE AND LAQUAY-QUAY. 232 00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:13,803 NOW, WE'RE GONNA BE SPENDING A LITTLE BIT OF TIME 233 00:08:13,838 --> 00:08:15,909 LATER TOGETHER, SO I THOUGHT I'D WARM 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT 234 00:08:15,943 --> 00:08:17,151 WITH ONE OF YOUR STORIES. 235 00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,739 WHY DON'T YOU TELL 'EM WHAT HAPPENED? 236 00:08:18,774 --> 00:08:21,880 - LOOK, I'M SURE YOU ALL ARE AS TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT 237 00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:24,918 AS I AM TELLING IT. - AMEN! 238 00:08:24,952 --> 00:08:27,265 - I'M JUST AN ORDINARY MAN, YOU KNOW? 239 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,129 JUST TRYING TO DO MY BEST 240 00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:34,134 TO DO THE LORD'S WORK HERE ON EARTH. 241 00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:35,480 AND THEN, JUST SOMETHING HAPPENED. 242 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,586 IT JUST FELT LIKE THE FORCE CAME INSIDE ME, 243 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:40,485 AND I BECAME THE LORD'S DESIGNATED HITTER! 244 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,557 IT JUST CAME UP, AND IT WAS LIKE I WAS IN SLOW MOTION. 245 00:08:43,592 --> 00:08:44,800 IT JUST CAME UP. 246 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:47,319 WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP- WHOOP-BA-YOW! 247 00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:48,320 BAM! 248 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:49,459 HE TOOK THE BOYCE EXPRESS 249 00:08:49,494 --> 00:08:50,599 STRAIGHT TO THE BASEMENT! 250 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:53,118 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! WHOO! 251 00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:54,223 YEAH, BOY! 252 00:08:54,257 --> 00:08:56,294 - OKAY. OKAY, EVERYBODY. 253 00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,744 SHOW'S OVER. 254 00:08:57,778 --> 00:08:59,193 - YEAH, DOWN. 255 00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:02,231 - THAT MEANS GET TO STEPPIN'! 256 00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:04,233 - YEAH. - BABY. 257 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,131 YOUR THROAT MUST BE DRY. 258 00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:07,685 YOU WANT SOME KOOL-AID? 259 00:09:07,719 --> 00:09:09,100 OH, NO, MY BAD. 260 00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:12,172 YOU ALREADY DRANK THAT. 261 00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:13,863 - THAT GIVES ME A GREAT IDEA. 262 00:09:13,898 --> 00:09:16,072 A PUNCHING PREACHER ENERGY DRINK. 263 00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:18,903 "THE CHOICE OF BOYCE THE VOICE." 264 00:09:18,937 --> 00:09:22,665 I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. I GOT TO MAKE A CALL. 265 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:23,839 - BABY, LISTEN TO ME. 266 00:09:23,873 --> 00:09:25,841 THIS IS ALL GETTING OUT OF HAND. 267 00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,705 NO GOOD IS GONNA COME FROM THIS, BOYCE. 268 00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:28,775 I'M TELLING YOU. 269 00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:30,846 - PASTOR BALLENTINE? 270 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,675 - HEY, BROTHER DARREN. 271 00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:35,091 HOW YOU DOING, AND WHO'S THIS FINE YOUNG MAN YOU GOT WITH YOU? 272 00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,334 - THAT'S MY NEPHEW, WESLEY. 273 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,853 HE'S BEEN DYING TO MEET THE PUNCHING PREACHER. 274 00:09:37,887 --> 00:09:39,751 - ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY, WESLEY? 275 00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:40,856 WATCH THE LEFT THERE, WES. 276 00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:41,891 WESLEY, WATCH THE LEFT. 277 00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:42,927 WATCH THE LEFT--BAM! 278 00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:44,238 GOT YOU WITH THE RIGHT. 279 00:09:44,273 --> 00:09:47,725 YOU CAN'T JUST WATCH MY LEFT. 280 00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:49,071 - I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO CHURCH THIS SUNDAY, 281 00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,244 PUNCHING PREACHER. 282 00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:51,452 - [choked up] THAT'S THE FIRST TIME 283 00:09:51,487 --> 00:09:54,386 HE'S EVER SAID THAT, PASTOR. 284 00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:57,735 - YO, THE STREETS ARE TALKING. 285 00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:59,012 YOU GOT THE HOTTEST CHURCH IN THE CITY. 286 00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:00,323 I'M DOWN WITH YOU, REVEREND. 287 00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,187 - WELL, GOOD. 288 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:03,775 I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ON SUNDAY. 289 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,087 MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THE EARLY SERVICE. 290 00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:07,883 THAT'S WHEN I DO ALL MY NEW MATERIAL. 291 00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:09,229 OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 292 00:10:09,263 --> 00:10:10,506 YOU KNOW, 293 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:13,578 IT JUST SEEMS AS THOUGH A HIGHER POWER 294 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,029 BROUGHT THEM HERE AT THAT MOMENT TO LET US KNOW 295 00:10:16,063 --> 00:10:18,548 THAT ONE OF US WAS RIGHT AND THE OTHER ONE WAS WRONG. 296 00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:19,998 WHAT DO THEY CALL THAT? 297 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:20,999 OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 298 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:23,001 DIVINE INTERVENTION. 299 00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,314 WATCH THE LEFT. WATCH THE LEFT. 300 00:10:25,348 --> 00:10:27,005 BAM! GOT YOU WITH THE RIGHT. 301 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,317 [laughter] 302 00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:29,905 CAN'T WATCH JUST THE LEFT. 303 00:10:29,939 --> 00:10:32,390 CAN'T DO IT. [chuckles] 304 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,427 OKAY. 305 00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:40,950 [Who Else Thinks My Wife is Hot?playing] 306 00:10:40,985 --> 00:10:48,958 ♪ 307 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,447 [music shuts off] 308 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,347 - OKAY, BOYCE, NOW LOOK. 309 00:10:58,381 --> 00:10:59,624 I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTO MERCHANDISING, 310 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,108 BUT I NEED YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 311 00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:05,768 I PRESENT TO YOU "BIBLE THUMPERS." 312 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:06,942 HUH? HUH? 313 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:08,598 ALL RIGHT, NOW I NEED YOUR OKAY ON THIS ASAP. 314 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:09,979 IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT IN CHINA, 315 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:12,913 AND THAT'S WHEN THE KIDS WHO MAKE THEM GET OFF WORK. 316 00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:14,708 - STAMPS, THAT'S JUST TACKY. 317 00:11:14,743 --> 00:11:15,847 NEXT THING YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME, 318 00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:17,228 YOU GOT SOME COMMEMORATIVE PLATES. 319 00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:19,713 - WHAT? NO. 320 00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:22,923 COMMEMORATIVE PLATES. [chuckles] 321 00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,753 - YEAH. 322 00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,237 - ♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪ 323 00:11:26,271 --> 00:11:28,204 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 324 00:11:28,239 --> 00:11:30,206 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 325 00:11:30,241 --> 00:11:32,381 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 326 00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:33,831 ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪ 327 00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:37,593 ♪ 328 00:11:37,627 --> 00:11:40,803 ♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT-- 329 00:11:40,838 --> 00:11:42,080 [sighs] 330 00:11:42,115 --> 00:11:43,875 - BOYCE, YOU MAY HAVE KNOCKED A MAN OUT, 331 00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:45,256 BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU THE ONE 332 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,707 WHO GOT YOUR BELL RUNG. 333 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,399 - BABY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO UPSET ABOUT THIS. 334 00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:51,918 I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY 335 00:11:51,952 --> 00:11:53,816 WHEN I PUNCHED THE GUY THAT WAS BOTHERING YOU. 336 00:11:53,851 --> 00:11:56,267 - WELL, YOU WERE ALREADY BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF, 337 00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:57,889 I DIDN'T WANNA PILE IT ON. 338 00:11:57,924 --> 00:12:01,790 BUT YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY FORGIVEN YOURSELF, AND THEN SOME. 339 00:12:01,824 --> 00:12:03,757 ALL RIGHT? THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT ME. 340 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:06,415 THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR EGO. 341 00:12:06,449 --> 00:12:08,935 - LOOK, PEOPLE RESPONDED TO WHAT I DID 342 00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:11,903 BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO THINK THAT CHIVALRY ISN'T DEAD. 343 00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:13,111 - CHIVALRY? - YEAH. 344 00:12:13,146 --> 00:12:14,837 - [laughs] BOYCE, WHEN I NEED A KNIGHT 345 00:12:14,872 --> 00:12:17,322 IN SHINING ARMOR, I'LL ASK FOR ONE. 346 00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,462 I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 347 00:12:19,497 --> 00:12:21,948 YOU DO REMEMBER HOW WE MET, DON'T YOU? 348 00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:26,400 I WAS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR BACKGROUND SINGER'S BUTT, OKAY? 349 00:12:26,435 --> 00:12:28,609 AND THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU GOT MY PHONE NUMBER 350 00:12:28,644 --> 00:12:31,854 WAS 'CAUSE I ASKED YOU TO HOLD MY EARRINGS. 351 00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,408 - NO, NO, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER, I WAS THE ONE COACHING YOU. 352 00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:35,651 I WAS LIKE, "GRAB HER, GRAB HER! 353 00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:36,790 "THAT PONYTAIL AIN'T REAL. 354 00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:39,206 THAT PONYTAIL AIN'T REAL!" 355 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:42,762 - BOYCE, ALL I'M SAYING IS I'M STARTING TO FEEL 356 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,247 LIKE THE ONLY BLACK WOMAN IN A SCARY MOVIE. 357 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:46,800 HUH? 358 00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:48,837 NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M TELLING YOU, BOYCE BALLENTINE. 359 00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:51,771 SOMETHING BAD GONNA HAPPEN. 360 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:55,222 [doorbell rings] 361 00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:57,431 DON'T LOOK AT ME. I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER IT. 362 00:12:57,466 --> 00:13:01,573 - WHO COULD THAT BE AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT? 363 00:13:01,608 --> 00:13:06,337 BROTHER DARREN, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 364 00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,614 - GO AHEAD. TELL HIM WHAT YOU DID. 365 00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:09,996 SHUT UP. 366 00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:11,791 MY NEPHEW WAS IN A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER BOY 367 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,516 AND GOT HIMSELF SUSPENDED. 368 00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:16,002 - WESLEY, NOW I GOTTA SAY I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED. 369 00:13:16,036 --> 00:13:17,831 I MEAN, WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 370 00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,799 - WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I GO TO THE PUNCHING PREACHER'S CHURCH, 371 00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,007 THEY WANNA TEST ME. 372 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:22,077 I JUST DID WHAT YOU DID. 373 00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:23,561 - THAT'S RIGHT. 374 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,356 THIS IS YOUR FAULT, PASTOR. 375 00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,426 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. 376 00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:27,876 NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? 377 00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:30,948 - WELL, I GUESS SLAPPING SOME SENSE INTO HIM 378 00:13:30,982 --> 00:13:34,054 IS NOT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR RIGHT NOW. 379 00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:36,677 - PASTOR, THIS IS MY SISTER'S SON, 380 00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:37,678 AND I GOTTA RAISE HIM RIGHT 381 00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,128 FOR THE NEXT THREE TO FIVE YEARS, 382 00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:43,512 DEPENDING ON HER BEHAVIOR. 383 00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:45,583 NOW I EXPECT YOU TO FIX THIS. 384 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,964 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 385 00:13:46,998 --> 00:13:49,863 BRING HIM BY MY OFFICE TOMORROW. 386 00:13:49,898 --> 00:13:50,864 OKAY. 387 00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:52,107 I ADMIT IT. 388 00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:54,385 DIVINE INTERVENTION WORKS BOTH WAYS. 389 00:13:54,419 --> 00:13:58,044 SO IF YOU WANNA HAVE AN ARGUMENT ABOUT IT, COME ON, LET'S GO. 390 00:13:58,078 --> 00:14:00,563 - MM-HMM. 391 00:14:00,598 --> 00:14:01,944 - SEE, THAT'S NOT FAIR. 392 00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:04,636 THIS KINDA THING DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME NOW. 393 00:14:04,671 --> 00:14:07,018 - [emphatically] MM-HMM. 394 00:14:07,053 --> 00:14:10,021 - HOW YOU GONNA BRING THAT UP? 395 00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:12,196 THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO. 396 00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:14,508 SOMEBODY HIT YOU WITH A RIUNITE BOTTLE ACROSS THE HEAD, 397 00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:16,303 WHAT YOU GONNA DO? 398 00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:18,512 - MM-HMM. 399 00:14:18,547 --> 00:14:20,549 - OKAY, YOU RIGHT. 400 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:21,550 YOU RIGHT. I ADMIT IT. 401 00:14:21,584 --> 00:14:22,931 IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 402 00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:26,210 I GOTTA CLEAN THIS UP. SO YOU SATISFIED? 403 00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:30,145 - MM-HMM. [laughs] 404 00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,735 - I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT. 405 00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:39,637 I MEAN, SHE WON AN ARGUMENT, DIDN'T SAY ONE WORD. 406 00:14:41,984 --> 00:14:42,951 - MAN, I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT AGAIN. 407 00:14:42,985 --> 00:14:43,952 - MAN, TRY IT. I DARE YOU. 408 00:14:43,986 --> 00:14:44,953 - HEY, HEY, HEY! SIT DOWN! 409 00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:45,954 AND KNOCK IT OFF. 410 00:14:45,988 --> 00:14:47,093 THIS IS A CHURCH. 411 00:14:47,127 --> 00:14:48,439 I MEAN, REALLY. 412 00:14:48,473 --> 00:14:49,923 THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? 413 00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,787 BECAUSE YOU TWO WANNABE GANGSTERS 414 00:14:51,821 --> 00:14:54,065 GOT INTO A FIGHT OVER A BASKETBALL GAME? 415 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,308 - WASN'T NO FIGHT. POP! 416 00:14:55,342 --> 00:14:56,861 I HIT HIM AND HE WENT DOWN. 417 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,104 JUST LIKE YOU, PUNCHING PREACHER. 418 00:14:58,138 --> 00:14:59,968 - LOOK, THAT IS PASTOR BALLENTINE, 419 00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:02,349 AND WHAT I DID WAS PROTECT MY WOMAN. 420 00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:05,318 IN THAT SITUATION, VIOLENCE WAS CALLED FOR. 421 00:15:05,352 --> 00:15:06,767 - AND I'VE SEEN YOUR WIFE. 422 00:15:06,802 --> 00:15:08,700 IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING, SHE'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL. 423 00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:10,599 - WHY, THANK YOU, A.J. 424 00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:13,533 RIGHT NOW, YOU MY FAVORITE. 425 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:16,053 LOOK, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU GUYS 426 00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:19,125 WHY VIOLENCE ISN'T ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO. 427 00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:20,436 NOW WESLEY, YOU HIT A.J. 428 00:15:20,471 --> 00:15:22,059 AND THEN YOU JUST WALKED AWAY, RIGHT? 429 00:15:22,093 --> 00:15:24,958 WELL, WHAT IF A.J. WENT HOME AND GOT HIS BIG BROTHER? 430 00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:26,649 - WELL, I WOULD'VE WHUPPED HIS BUTT TOO. 431 00:15:26,684 --> 00:15:27,996 - NOT IN MY STORY. 432 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:30,067 IN MY STORY, A.J.'S BIG BROTHER 433 00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:31,516 JUST GOT OUT OF THE MARINES. 434 00:15:31,551 --> 00:15:32,793 - WELL, IN THE REAL STORY, 435 00:15:32,828 --> 00:15:34,347 A.J.'S BIG BROTHER WORKS AT A FLOWER SHOP 436 00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:35,796 WITH HIS BOYFRIEND. 437 00:15:35,831 --> 00:15:38,144 - I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT'S HIS ROOMMATE, MAN! 438 00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,284 - COME ON, NOW. 439 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:41,595 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE HE WORKS. 440 00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:43,632 HE STILL KICKS YOUR BUTT. 441 00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:45,151 BUT THEN, WESLEY, YOU GO HOME 442 00:15:45,185 --> 00:15:46,946 AND YOU GET THE BIGGEST PERSON YOU KNOW. 443 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,327 - [laughs] THAT WOULD BE HIS MOMMA. 444 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:50,397 - HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA. 445 00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:51,881 SHE GOT A THYROID PROBLEM, ALL RIGHT. 446 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:54,608 - MAN, SHE GOT A HONEYBAKED HAM PROBLEM. 447 00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:56,093 - YOU AIN'T GETTIN' UP YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA! 448 00:15:56,127 --> 00:15:57,232 - GET OUT MY FACE, MAN! - OKAY, HEY, HEY, HEY! 449 00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:58,750 SIT DOWN, BEFORE I SLAP THE TASTE 450 00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,407 OUT OF BOTH OF Y'ALL MOUTHS! 451 00:16:00,442 --> 00:16:01,822 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 452 00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:04,101 DID YOU SAY YOU'RE GONNA SLAP MY SON? 453 00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:08,415 - UH, THAT DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE OF THESE IS YOUR SON, 454 00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,246 BECAUSE I WAS MAINLY TALKING TO THE OTHER ONE. 455 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,764 - A.J., GET OVER HERE! 456 00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:14,318 - OH, A.J., GO HUG YOUR FATHER. 457 00:16:14,352 --> 00:16:16,113 GO HUG A.J.'S FATHER. 458 00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:17,597 THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF FATHER. 459 00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:21,152 LISTEN, UM, GUYS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. 460 00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:24,673 YOU GOTTA KEEP YOURSELF TWO PEOPLE AWAY FROM TROUBLE. 461 00:16:24,707 --> 00:16:25,915 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 462 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:28,504 THANK YOU, SIR, FOR HELPING ME, YOU KNOW, 463 00:16:28,539 --> 00:16:30,092 ILLUSTRATE TO THIS, MR. UH-- 464 00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:31,300 - A.J.'S DAD! - OKAY, LISTEN. 465 00:16:31,335 --> 00:16:35,684 UM...LOOK, VIOLENCE IS NEVER A GOOD THING, 466 00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:37,444 AND THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU GUYS, 467 00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:40,068 THAT VIOLENCE IS NEVER, NEVER A GOOD THING. 468 00:16:40,102 --> 00:16:41,897 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, YOU SAID SOMETIMES IF YOU-- 469 00:16:41,931 --> 00:16:43,761 - WES--WESLEY, NO. NO, NO, I WAS WRONG. 470 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,143 I WAS TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG. 471 00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:48,628 YOU SEE, THIS IS THE CIRCLE OF VIOLENCE. 472 00:16:48,662 --> 00:16:50,595 SEE, YOU GUYS SAW ME PUNCH A GUY. 473 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,805 AND THEN, WESLEY, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO PUNCH A.J. 474 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,740 AND NOW, I'M IN SERIOUS DANGER OF BEING PUNCHED BY THIS GUY, 475 00:16:57,775 --> 00:16:59,639 WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY MADE IN A LAB. 476 00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:01,537 - THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MAN! 477 00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:04,575 - AAH! 478 00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:09,166 OKAY, NOW, YOU RIGHT, MAN. 479 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,168 VIOLENCE IS NEVER CALLED FOR, A.J.'S DAD, 480 00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:12,721 AND WE NEED TO STOP IT, 481 00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:14,619 RIGHT NOW, ON EVERY LEVEL, GLOBALLY. 482 00:17:14,654 --> 00:17:16,242 WE NEED TO STOP VIOLENCE, GUYS. 483 00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:18,658 WE NEED TO STOP VIOLENCE AND HEAL THE WORLD. 484 00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:23,111 STOP THE ANIMALS FROM FIGHTING, AND CRICKETS. 485 00:17:23,145 --> 00:17:24,836 WE NEED TO START IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. 486 00:17:24,871 --> 00:17:26,355 WE NEED TO START IT FIRST. AM I RIGHT? 487 00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:28,081 AM I RIGHT, A.J.'S DAD? 488 00:17:28,116 --> 00:17:31,981 - THE LITTLE PASTOR GOT A POINT. 489 00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:33,466 - GOOD--OKAY, ALL RIGHT. EASY. 490 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,573 OOH, MAN, YOU NOT OPENING UP A JAR OF PICKLES, BROTHER. 491 00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:42,958 LISTEN, GUYS, YOU ALL NEED TO LISTEN TO LITTLE PASTOR. 492 00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:44,753 LOOK, SO IF EVERYBODY'S IN AGREEMENT, 493 00:17:44,787 --> 00:17:47,618 LET'S JUST SHAKE HANDS AND MOVE ALONG OUR MERRY WAYS. 494 00:17:47,652 --> 00:17:49,930 COME ON NOW. ALL RIGHT, NO MORE FIGHTING. 495 00:17:49,965 --> 00:17:51,346 COME ON NOW. EASE ON OUT OF HERE. 496 00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:52,588 EASE ON DOWN. 497 00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:56,040 SOME OF US SHOULD WATCH OUR HEADS ON THE WAY OUT. 498 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,835 UH, HEY, I GOT A LIGHT FLICKERING RIGHT THERE. 499 00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,181 IF YOU, UH-- COULD YOU JUST... 500 00:17:59,216 --> 00:18:02,495 THAT IS--OOH. 501 00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:05,084 OKAY, THANK YOU. 502 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,533 YOU'RE A KIND GIANT. 503 00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:10,089 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 504 00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:12,712 - THANK YOU. - BOYCE? 505 00:18:12,746 --> 00:18:13,782 REMEMBER HOW I SAID I DIDN'T NEED 506 00:18:13,816 --> 00:18:15,508 A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR? - MM-HMM. 507 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:18,959 - WELL, I CHANGED MY MIND. 508 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:20,616 SAVE ME! 509 00:18:20,651 --> 00:18:22,101 - COME HERE, KETCHUP. 510 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,827 YOU BEEN LOOKING AT MY WIFE? 511 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:26,519 AH, THERE YOU GO. 512 00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:27,761 AND YOU TELL THE OTHER CONDIMENTS 513 00:18:27,796 --> 00:18:29,729 WHAT HAPPENED AROUND HERE. 514 00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:33,284 - YOU'RE MY HERO. [giggles] 515 00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:34,630 - WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL? 516 00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:36,563 NOW I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A BIG FAN OF MERCHANDISE, 517 00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:40,774 BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL WANNA SEE THIS. 518 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,847 THE PUNCHING PREACHER DOLL. HA HA! 519 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:46,021 "YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS?" 520 00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:47,160 PSHH! TAKE THAT. PSHH! 521 00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:48,748 AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT. 522 00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:49,852 PRETTY COOL, HUH? 523 00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:51,164 - STAMPS, WE ARE PUTTING 524 00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,752 THE "PUNCHING PREACHER" THING AWAY, ALL RIGHT? 525 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:54,098 SO NO MORE MERCHANDISING. 526 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,480 - YEAH, AND WE WANT YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT STUPID VIDEO. 527 00:18:56,514 --> 00:18:57,584 - WHAT? WAIT, NO, NO. 528 00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:59,034 NOW, I CAN'T DO THAT. 529 00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:00,932 NOW, I'VE GOT 80 BOXES OF SLIGHTLY IRREGULAR HOODIES 530 00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:04,867 EN ROUTE FROM ROMANIA. 531 00:19:04,902 --> 00:19:07,560 Y'ALL ARE KILLING ME! 532 00:19:07,594 --> 00:19:09,872 - OH, OH, HEY. EXCUSE ME. 533 00:19:09,907 --> 00:19:12,496 - BOYCE! - LOLLI. 534 00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:15,947 MY MAN, I THINK I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 535 00:19:15,982 --> 00:19:19,158 NOW WHAT YOU SAID TO MY WIFE THE OTHER DAY WAS WRONG, 536 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:22,678 BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUNCHED YOU. 537 00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:24,059 - OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 538 00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:26,924 HEY, TURNED INTO A PRETTY FUNNY VIDEO. 539 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,754 - YEAH, SO CAN WE PUT THIS WHOLE INCIDENT BEHIND US? 540 00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:31,825 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT INCIDENT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 541 00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:33,310 - AW, THANK YOU. - ALL RIGHT. 542 00:19:33,344 --> 00:19:34,794 - ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BABY. 543 00:19:34,828 --> 00:19:36,209 - ALL RIGHT. 544 00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:38,246 - NOW, OF COURSE, MAYBE IF THE LADY 545 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,318 DIDN'T ALWAYS HAVE HER SQUEEZABLES OUT ON DISPLAY, 546 00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:42,733 GUYS WOULDN'T BE THINKING ALL THE TIME 547 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,424 ABOUT WHAT THEY WANNA DOTO 'EM! 548 00:19:44,459 --> 00:19:47,910 OOH-- 549 00:19:47,945 --> 00:19:53,433 - THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JUST WATCH THE LEFT! 550 00:19:53,468 --> 00:19:54,538 BOYCE, HOLD MY EARRINGS. 551 00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:56,540 - CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. JUST CALM DOWN. 552 00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:58,542 SHE'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS, OKAY? 553 00:19:58,576 --> 00:20:00,647 SHE'S JUST-- BABY, JUST CALM DOWN. 554 00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:05,134 [soul music] 555 00:20:05,169 --> 00:20:13,177 ♪ 556 00:20:23,774 --> 00:20:28,157 - ♪ THE SOUL MAN 40106

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