Original subtitles

- THE SOUL MAN IS RECORDED IN FRONT

OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

- BIRD, SINCE WHEN DOES A PART OWNER

HAVE TO PAY FOR FOOD AT HIS OWN RESTAURANT?

- WELL, I HATE TO BREAK THE NEWS TO YOU, BOYCE,

BUT BIRD'S IS STRUGGLING.

- BREAK THE NEWS?

MAN, YOU SAY IT SO OFTEN,

WE NEED TO PUT IT ON THE SIGN.

"WELCOME TO BIRD'S, WE STRUGGLIN'.

WE MIGHT HAVE WHAT YOU ORDER."

- DON'T WORRY.

I LINED UP A GOLDEN ANGEL FOR A MAJOR CASH INFUSION.

- I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MORE MONEY, BIRD.

- I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR GRANDMA TO HAVE

ANOTHER "SLIP AND FALL" AT JAMBA JUICE.

- IT'S GETTING SO A GIRL CAN'T EVEN

WALK TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT BEING HIT ON.

THIS IDIOT JUST WHISTLED AT ME

AND TOLD ME HE THOUGHT I WAS HOT.

- WELL, HE WAS RIGHT.

YOU ARE HOT. - MMM.

- HEY, LET'S WALK PAST HIM WHEN WE LEAVE

SO HE CAN SEE WHO THE LUCKY MAN IS.

- WE'VE BEEN MARRIED OVER 20 YEARS

AND YOU STILL WANNA RUB ME IN OTHER MEN'S FACES?

- WELL, THERE'S PROBABLY A BETTER WAY OF SAYING IT,

BUT YEAH, I DO.

- [laughs]

- MM. MM. MM. MM. MMM.

OH, THIS WHO YOU WITH?

- THAT'S HIM. - MY MAN.

YOU HIT THE JACKPOT.

- YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW. - WHOO!

- YOU KNOW, AND I THANK GOD EVERY DAY.

- MAN, THAT BOOTY JUST PROVES THERE IS A GOD.

- OKAY, I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENT,

BUT THE GOD I KNOW WOULD TELL YOU

TO COOL OUT RIGHT NOW.

- COME ON, BOYCE, LET'S JUST WALK AWAY.

- LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING WHAT EVERY MAN IN HERE'S THINKING.

- HEY, YOU DISRESPECTIN' MY WIFE, MAN.

- OH, YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS?

- [gasps]

- LOOK, YOU NEED TO COOL OUT, PARTNER.

- I'M SORRY, BABY.

LOOK, HOW ABOUT WE GO OUT TO MY VAN--

- OOH!

- WHAT'S UP?

WHO ELSE IN HERE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT?

[upbeat R&B music]

♪

[upbeat gospel music]

♪

♪ THE SOUL MAN

WHEN SHAFT HIT A GUY,

HE JUST WALKED AWAY COOL WITH HIS LEATHER JACKET ON.

THEY AIN'T SHOW HIM THAT HIS HAND SWOLE UP

SO BIG HE COULDN'T TAKE HIS LEATHER JACKET OFF.

- WELL, SHAFT DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD WOMAN

TO BRING HIM A BOO-BOO BUDDY.

CAN YOU DIG IT?

- RIGHT ON.

AH, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

I HADN'T HAD A FIGHT IN DECADES.

- WELL, THAT GUY WAS AN IDIOT,

AND YOU DID WHAT ANY MAN

WOULD'VE DONE IN THAT SITUATION.

- BUT I'M A PASTOR NOW.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SLOW TO ANGER.

- YOU WERE SLOW TO ANGER.

IT WAS YOUR FISTS THAT WERE IN A HURRY.

- I KNOW. IT'S A GIFT.

I DON'T OWN IT.

- WELL, WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

YOU ALREADY BEAT THE GUY UP.

DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP TOO.

- WHAT'S UP, BIG BRO? HOW'S YOUR HAND?

HIT THAT DUDE WITH THE ONE-HITTER QUITTER, HUH?

- STAMPS, I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I DID.

- YOU SHOULD BE, STANDING UP FOR YOUR WOMAN.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I WOULD'VE DONE,

DEPENDING ON HER LOOKS.

- W-WAIT A MINUTE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT BIRD'S TONIGHT?

- BECAUSE I'M CONNECTED.

CHECK IT.

- FORMER R&B STAR BOYCE BALLENTINE,

WHO MORE THAN ONCE POPPED A PAPARAZZI,

APPARENTLY HAS NOT CHANGED HIS WAYS

SINCE BECOMING A MINISTER.

IN AN UNGODLY DISPLAY OF POOR JUDGMENT,

BOYCE THE VOICE PUNCHED THE TICKET

OF AN INNOCENT MAN IN A ST. LOUIS EATERY.

- [gasps] - YEAH!

WHO ELSE IN HERE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT?

- SO SOMEONE WAS RECORDING IT?

- HEY, IT'S THE 21ST CENTURY.

EVERYBODY'S RECORDING EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T JUST GET LUCKY

AND FIND A PANDA BEAR SNEEZING.

- AH, MAN, I CAN'T HAVE THIS.

NOW MY FLOCK IS GONNA THINK THEIR SHEPHERD

CAN'T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF THE SHEEP.

Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

- OKAY, HERE'S THE THING.

I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH

THAT THIS IS ALL GONNA BE OKAY--

PROBABLY.

- I DON'T SEE HOW.

ONCE THOSE CHURCH ELDERS SINK THEIR DENTURES INTO THIS,

THAT'S IT FOR ME.

MAYBE I CAN GET A JOB

DOWN AT ONE OF THOSE WHITE CHURCHES.

THEY LET THEIR PASTORS DO ANYTHING.

- I'M TELLING YOU, PASTOR,

THE SERMON WAS INSPIRATIONAL AND A KNOCKOUT.

IN FACT, I BOBBED AND WEAVED.

- OKAY, APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT.

BABE, I'VE BEEN GETTING LOVE ALL MORNING ON THIS.

I MEAN, WE DODGED A BULLET HERE.

- GIVE ME SOME. - OW!

OOH.

- SORRY.

WELL, WE'RE LUCKY WE HAVE A VERY UNDERSTANDING FLOCK,

EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR SISTER PEARLY.

SHE GAVE YOU THE STINK EYE ALL DURING THE LORD'S PRAYER.

- YEAH, SHE USED TO BE A LITTLE UPSET WITH JESUS

FOR TURNING WATER INTO WINE.

- GUESS WHAT I GOT. - A JOB?

- THE MONEY YOU OWE ME?

- A SCHOLARSHIP TO ITT TECH?

- BETTER.

NOW REMEMBER I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA MASH UP

THAT VIDEO OF YOU AND THROW IT ON YOUTUBE?

- YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.

- I MASHED UP THAT VIDEO OF YOU AND THREW IT ON YOUTUBE.

AND IT'S GONE VIRAL.

- OH, STAMPS, COME ON.

WE TRYING TO MAKE THIS THING GO AWAY.

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

- FOUR CANS OF RED BULL AND NOTHING ON TV.

[energetic dance music]

- ♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

- ♪ YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS?

[echoing] ♪ YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS?

- ♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT, PARTNER ♪

♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT, PARTNER ♪

both: COOL IT, PARTNER.

- YEAH! - ♪ COOL IT, PARTNER

- YEAH, YEAH. LOOK, MAN, CHECK THIS OUT.

YOU ALREADY GOT 1/2 MILLION HITS.

THEY'RE CALLING YOU "THE PUNCHING PREACHER."

- THEY'RE CALLING ME THE PUNCHING PREACHER.

- YEAH! - [laughs]

- YEAH, I TOTALLY DISAPPROVE OF THAT COMPLETELY.

- WHAT KIND OF A SICK WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN

WHEN 1/2 MILLION PEOPLE WANNA WATCH A MAN

GET KNOCKED OUT OVER AND OVER?

- [mumbling] I DON'T KNOW.

- Y'ALL WANNA WATCH IT AGAIN, DON'T YOU?

- I MEAN, JUST A LITTLE BIT, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

- GO AHEAD.

- COME ON, JUST RUN IT BACK. RUN IT BACK.

GET IT-- YEAH, MAKE IT LOUD.

♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

both: ♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY

- AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

all: BOYCE!

- IF IT ISN'T THE PUNCHING PREACHER AND HIS LADY FAIR.

- BIRD, WHY IS THERE AN OUTLINE OF A BODY

TAPED TO YOUR FLOOR?

- I WAS COMMEMORATING THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO BIRD'S

SINCE MARTIN LUTHER KING'S COUSIN'S DAUGHTER

SAT IN THAT BOOTH.

WAIT. THAT BOOTH.

BUSINESS IS UP 75%

THANKS TO THE GOOD PASTOR'S TEMPER TANTRUM.

- 75%? - MM-HMM.

- BIRD, WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY,

WE CAN TAKE THE QUOTATION MARKS OFF OF "FRESH" FISH.

- BOYS, IS THIS THE IMAGE YOU REALLY WANT TO PROJECT?

I MEAN, OUTLINES OF BODIES

IS WHY WE MOVED OUT OF OUR FIRST APARTMENT--

AND OUR SECOND.

- NOT TO WORRY, LOLLI, MY LOVE.

THIS DISPLAY IS JUST TEMPORARY.

I GOT A REAL ARTISTE COMING.

MY BOY, GATOR MOUTH TONY,

HE'S WORKING ON A SCULPTURE OF BOYCE MADE OF COPPER.

WE JUST NEED TWO MORE STREETLIGHTS WORTH OF WIRE

AND WE'RE DONE.

- HEY, BOYCE.

HEY, LOLLI.

SCOOT. SCOOT, SCOOT.

- STAMPS, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SHOW UP WHEN IT'S TIME TO EAT?

- BECAUSE IF I SHOW UP AFTER IT'S TIME TO EAT,

I DON'T GET TO EAT.

- I'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU GUYS ONE OF OUR NEW SPECIALTY DRINKS:

PREACHER'S PUNCH.

IF YOU DON'T WANT ONE, DON'T OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

- BIRD, I CANNOT ENDORSE AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE, OKAY?

GIVE US THREE VIRGIN PREACHER'S PUNCHES.

- NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT ONE OF THOSE DRINKS.

I'LL JUST HAVE WATER, PLEASE.

- ALL RIGHT.

YOU WANT THOSE PUNCHES WITH A BLACK EYE?

- A BLACK EYE? WHAT'S THAT?

- OH, THAT IS A SHOT OF BITTERSWEET CHOCOLATE SYRUP.

- OOH! OKAY, NOW THAT IS MY KIND OF--

UH, NO, I DON'T WANT THAT.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LETTING BIRD EXPLOIT YOU LIKE THIS.

- THANK YOU, STAMPS.

I'M FEELING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.

- I MEAN, IF ANYBODY'S GONNA PIMP YOU OUT,

IT SHOULD BE BLOOD.

- STAMPS, I AM NOT GONNA MAKE MONEY OFF OF THIS.

- WELL, YOU SHOULD.

AFTER DAVID SLAYED GOLIATH,

HE OPENED UP A GIFT SHOP.

- HE DID NOT.

- WELL, HE WOULD HAVE IF HIS BROTHER

WAS A BETTER MANAGER.

- BOYCE, I WANT YOU TO MEET AMBIANCE AND LAQUAY-QUAY.

NOW, WE'RE GONNA BE SPENDING A LITTLE BIT OF TIME

LATER TOGETHER, SO I THOUGHT I'D WARM 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT

WITH ONE OF YOUR STORIES.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL 'EM WHAT HAPPENED?

- LOOK, I'M SURE YOU ALL ARE AS TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT IT

AS I AM TELLING IT. - AMEN!

- I'M JUST AN ORDINARY MAN, YOU KNOW?

JUST TRYING TO DO MY BEST

TO DO THE LORD'S WORK HERE ON EARTH.

AND THEN, JUST SOMETHING HAPPENED.

IT JUST FELT LIKE THE FORCE CAME INSIDE ME,

AND I BECAME THE LORD'S DESIGNATED HITTER!

IT JUST CAME UP, AND IT WAS LIKE I WAS IN SLOW MOTION.

IT JUST CAME UP.

WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP- WHOOP-BA-YOW!

BAM!

HE TOOK THE BOYCE EXPRESS

STRAIGHT TO THE BASEMENT!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! WHOO!

YEAH, BOY!

- OKAY. OKAY, EVERYBODY.

SHOW'S OVER.

- YEAH, DOWN.

- THAT MEANS GET TO STEPPIN'!

- YEAH. - BABY.

YOUR THROAT MUST BE DRY.

YOU WANT SOME KOOL-AID?

OH, NO, MY BAD.

YOU ALREADY DRANK THAT.

- THAT GIVES ME A GREAT IDEA.

A PUNCHING PREACHER ENERGY DRINK.

"THE CHOICE OF BOYCE THE VOICE."

I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. I GOT TO MAKE A CALL.

- BABY, LISTEN TO ME.

THIS IS ALL GETTING OUT OF HAND.

NO GOOD IS GONNA COME FROM THIS, BOYCE.

I'M TELLING YOU.

- PASTOR BALLENTINE?

- HEY, BROTHER DARREN.

HOW YOU DOING, AND WHO'S THIS FINE YOUNG MAN YOU GOT WITH YOU?

- THAT'S MY NEPHEW, WESLEY.

HE'S BEEN DYING TO MEET THE PUNCHING PREACHER.

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY, WESLEY?

WATCH THE LEFT THERE, WES.

WESLEY, WATCH THE LEFT.

WATCH THE LEFT--BAM!

GOT YOU WITH THE RIGHT.

YOU CAN'T JUST WATCH MY LEFT.

- I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO CHURCH THIS SUNDAY,

PUNCHING PREACHER.

- [choked up] THAT'S THE FIRST TIME

HE'S EVER SAID THAT, PASTOR.

- YO, THE STREETS ARE TALKING.

YOU GOT THE HOTTEST CHURCH IN THE CITY.

I'M DOWN WITH YOU, REVEREND.

- WELL, GOOD.

I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU ON SUNDAY.

MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THE EARLY SERVICE.

THAT'S WHEN I DO ALL MY NEW MATERIAL.

OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW,

IT JUST SEEMS AS THOUGH A HIGHER POWER

BROUGHT THEM HERE AT THAT MOMENT TO LET US KNOW

THAT ONE OF US WAS RIGHT AND THE OTHER ONE WAS WRONG.

WHAT DO THEY CALL THAT?

OH, YEAH, RIGHT.

DIVINE INTERVENTION.

WATCH THE LEFT. WATCH THE LEFT.

BAM! GOT YOU WITH THE RIGHT.

[laughter]

CAN'T WATCH JUST THE LEFT.

CAN'T DO IT. [chuckles]

OKAY.

[Who Else Thinks My Wife is Hot?playing]

♪

[music shuts off]

- OKAY, BOYCE, NOW LOOK.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTO MERCHANDISING,

BUT I NEED YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

I PRESENT TO YOU "BIBLE THUMPERS."

HUH? HUH?

ALL RIGHT, NOW I NEED YOUR OKAY ON THIS ASAP.

IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT IN CHINA,

AND THAT'S WHEN THE KIDS WHO MAKE THEM GET OFF WORK.

- STAMPS, THAT'S JUST TACKY.

NEXT THING YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME,

YOU GOT SOME COMMEMORATIVE PLATES.

- WHAT? NO.

COMMEMORATIVE PLATES. [chuckles]

- YEAH.

- ♪ WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE, WHO ELSE ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪ WHO ELSE THINKS MY WIFE IS HOT? ♪

♪

♪ YOU NEED TO COOL IT--

[sighs]

- BOYCE, YOU MAY HAVE KNOCKED A MAN OUT,

BUT I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU THE ONE

WHO GOT YOUR BELL RUNG.

- BABY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO UPSET ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY

WHEN I PUNCHED THE GUY THAT WAS BOTHERING YOU.

- WELL, YOU WERE ALREADY BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF,

I DIDN'T WANNA PILE IT ON.

BUT YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY FORGIVEN YOURSELF, AND THEN SOME.

ALL RIGHT? THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT ME.

THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR EGO.

- LOOK, PEOPLE RESPONDED TO WHAT I DID

BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO THINK THAT CHIVALRY ISN'T DEAD.

- CHIVALRY? - YEAH.

- [laughs] BOYCE, WHEN I NEED A KNIGHT

IN SHINING ARMOR, I'LL ASK FOR ONE.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

YOU DO REMEMBER HOW WE MET, DON'T YOU?

I WAS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR BACKGROUND SINGER'S BUTT, OKAY?

AND THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU GOT MY PHONE NUMBER

WAS 'CAUSE I ASKED YOU TO HOLD MY EARRINGS.

- NO, NO, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER, I WAS THE ONE COACHING YOU.

I WAS LIKE, "GRAB HER, GRAB HER!

"THAT PONYTAIL AIN'T REAL.

THAT PONYTAIL AIN'T REAL!"

- BOYCE, ALL I'M SAYING IS I'M STARTING TO FEEL

LIKE THE ONLY BLACK WOMAN IN A SCARY MOVIE.

HUH?

NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M TELLING YOU, BOYCE BALLENTINE.

SOMETHING BAD GONNA HAPPEN.

[doorbell rings]

DON'T LOOK AT ME. I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER IT.

- WHO COULD THAT BE AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?

BROTHER DARREN, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

- GO AHEAD. TELL HIM WHAT YOU DID.

SHUT UP.

MY NEPHEW WAS IN A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER BOY

AND GOT HIMSELF SUSPENDED.

- WESLEY, NOW I GOTTA SAY I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED.

I MEAN, WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

- WHEN I TELL PEOPLE I GO TO THE PUNCHING PREACHER'S CHURCH,

THEY WANNA TEST ME.

I JUST DID WHAT YOU DID.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT, PASTOR.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE.

NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

- WELL, I GUESS SLAPPING SOME SENSE INTO HIM

IS NOT WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR RIGHT NOW.

- PASTOR, THIS IS MY SISTER'S SON,

AND I GOTTA RAISE HIM RIGHT

FOR THE NEXT THREE TO FIVE YEARS,

DEPENDING ON HER BEHAVIOR.

NOW I EXPECT YOU TO FIX THIS.

- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

BRING HIM BY MY OFFICE TOMORROW.

OKAY.

I ADMIT IT.

DIVINE INTERVENTION WORKS BOTH WAYS.

SO IF YOU WANNA HAVE AN ARGUMENT ABOUT IT, COME ON, LET'S GO.

- MM-HMM.

- SEE, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

THIS KINDA THING DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME NOW.

- [emphatically] MM-HMM.

- HOW YOU GONNA BRING THAT UP?

THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO.

SOMEBODY HIT YOU WITH A RIUNITE BOTTLE ACROSS THE HEAD,

WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

- MM-HMM.

- OKAY, YOU RIGHT.

YOU RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.

IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

I GOTTA CLEAN THIS UP. SO YOU SATISFIED?

- MM-HMM. [laughs]

- I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT.

I MEAN, SHE WON AN ARGUMENT, DIDN'T SAY ONE WORD.

- MAN, I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT AGAIN.

- MAN, TRY IT. I DARE YOU.

- HEY, HEY, HEY! SIT DOWN!

AND KNOCK IT OFF.

THIS IS A CHURCH.

I MEAN, REALLY.

THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?

BECAUSE YOU TWO WANNABE GANGSTERS

GOT INTO A FIGHT OVER A BASKETBALL GAME?

- WASN'T NO FIGHT. POP!

I HIT HIM AND HE WENT DOWN.

JUST LIKE YOU, PUNCHING PREACHER.

- LOOK, THAT IS PASTOR BALLENTINE,

AND WHAT I DID WAS PROTECT MY WOMAN.

IN THAT SITUATION, VIOLENCE WAS CALLED FOR.

- AND I'VE SEEN YOUR WIFE.

IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING, SHE'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

- WHY, THANK YOU, A.J.

RIGHT NOW, YOU MY FAVORITE.

LOOK, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU GUYS

WHY VIOLENCE ISN'T ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO.

NOW WESLEY, YOU HIT A.J.

AND THEN YOU JUST WALKED AWAY, RIGHT?

WELL, WHAT IF A.J. WENT HOME AND GOT HIS BIG BROTHER?

- WELL, I WOULD'VE WHUPPED HIS BUTT TOO.

- NOT IN MY STORY.

IN MY STORY, A.J.'S BIG BROTHER

JUST GOT OUT OF THE MARINES.

- WELL, IN THE REAL STORY,

A.J.'S BIG BROTHER WORKS AT A FLOWER SHOP

WITH HIS BOYFRIEND.

- I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT'S HIS ROOMMATE, MAN!

- COME ON, NOW.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE HE WORKS.

HE STILL KICKS YOUR BUTT.

BUT THEN, WESLEY, YOU GO HOME

AND YOU GET THE BIGGEST PERSON YOU KNOW.

- [laughs] THAT WOULD BE HIS MOMMA.

- HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA.

SHE GOT A THYROID PROBLEM, ALL RIGHT.

- MAN, SHE GOT A HONEYBAKED HAM PROBLEM.

- YOU AIN'T GETTIN' UP YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA!

- GET OUT MY FACE, MAN! - OKAY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

SIT DOWN, BEFORE I SLAP THE TASTE

OUT OF BOTH OF Y'ALL MOUTHS!

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

DID YOU SAY YOU'RE GONNA SLAP MY SON?

- UH, THAT DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE OF THESE IS YOUR SON,

BECAUSE I WAS MAINLY TALKING TO THE OTHER ONE.

- A.J., GET OVER HERE!

- OH, A.J., GO HUG YOUR FATHER.

GO HUG A.J.'S FATHER.

THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF FATHER.

LISTEN, UM, GUYS, THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

YOU GOTTA KEEP YOURSELF TWO PEOPLE AWAY FROM TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THANK YOU, SIR, FOR HELPING ME, YOU KNOW,

ILLUSTRATE TO THIS, MR. UH--

- A.J.'S DAD! - OKAY, LISTEN.

UM...LOOK, VIOLENCE IS NEVER A GOOD THING,

AND THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU GUYS,

THAT VIOLENCE IS NEVER, NEVER A GOOD THING.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, YOU SAID SOMETIMES IF YOU--

- WES--WESLEY, NO. NO, NO, I WAS WRONG.

I WAS TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG.

YOU SEE, THIS IS THE CIRCLE OF VIOLENCE.

SEE, YOU GUYS SAW ME PUNCH A GUY.

AND THEN, WESLEY, YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO PUNCH A.J.

AND NOW, I'M IN SERIOUS DANGER OF BEING PUNCHED BY THIS GUY,

WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY MADE IN A LAB.

- THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MAN!

- AAH!

OKAY, NOW, YOU RIGHT, MAN.

VIOLENCE IS NEVER CALLED FOR, A.J.'S DAD,

AND WE NEED TO STOP IT,

RIGHT NOW, ON EVERY LEVEL, GLOBALLY.

WE NEED TO STOP VIOLENCE, GUYS.

WE NEED TO STOP VIOLENCE AND HEAL THE WORLD.

STOP THE ANIMALS FROM FIGHTING, AND CRICKETS.

WE NEED TO START IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

WE NEED TO START IT FIRST. AM I RIGHT?

AM I RIGHT, A.J.'S DAD?

- THE LITTLE PASTOR GOT A POINT.

- GOOD--OKAY, ALL RIGHT. EASY.

OOH, MAN, YOU NOT OPENING UP A JAR OF PICKLES, BROTHER.

LISTEN, GUYS, YOU ALL NEED TO LISTEN TO LITTLE PASTOR.

LOOK, SO IF EVERYBODY'S IN AGREEMENT,

LET'S JUST SHAKE HANDS AND MOVE ALONG OUR MERRY WAYS.

COME ON NOW. ALL RIGHT, NO MORE FIGHTING.

COME ON NOW. EASE ON OUT OF HERE.

EASE ON DOWN.

SOME OF US SHOULD WATCH OUR HEADS ON THE WAY OUT.

UH, HEY, I GOT A LIGHT FLICKERING RIGHT THERE.

IF YOU, UH-- COULD YOU JUST...

THAT IS--OOH.

OKAY, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE A KIND GIANT.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

- THANK YOU. - BOYCE?

REMEMBER HOW I SAID I DIDN'T NEED

A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR? - MM-HMM.

- WELL, I CHANGED MY MIND.

SAVE ME!

- COME HERE, KETCHUP.

YOU BEEN LOOKING AT MY WIFE?

AH, THERE YOU GO.

AND YOU TELL THE OTHER CONDIMENTS

WHAT HAPPENED AROUND HERE.

- YOU'RE MY HERO. [giggles]

- WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?

NOW I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A BIG FAN OF MERCHANDISE,

BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL WANNA SEE THIS.

THE PUNCHING PREACHER DOLL. HA HA!

"YOU MEAN LIPS AND HIPS?"

PSHH! TAKE THAT. PSHH!

AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT.

PRETTY COOL, HUH?

- STAMPS, WE ARE PUTTING

THE "PUNCHING PREACHER" THING AWAY, ALL RIGHT?

SO NO MORE MERCHANDISING.

- YEAH, AND WE WANT YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT STUPID VIDEO.

- WHAT? WAIT, NO, NO.

NOW, I CAN'T DO THAT.

NOW, I'VE GOT 80 BOXES OF SLIGHTLY IRREGULAR HOODIES

EN ROUTE FROM ROMANIA.

Y'ALL ARE KILLING ME!

- OH, OH, HEY. EXCUSE ME.

- BOYCE! - LOLLI.

MY MAN, I THINK I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

NOW WHAT YOU SAID TO MY WIFE THE OTHER DAY WAS WRONG,

BUT I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUNCHED YOU.

- OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

HEY, TURNED INTO A PRETTY FUNNY VIDEO.

- YEAH, SO CAN WE PUT THIS WHOLE INCIDENT BEHIND US?

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT INCIDENT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- AW, THANK YOU. - ALL RIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BABY.

- ALL RIGHT.

- NOW, OF COURSE, MAYBE IF THE LADY

DIDN'T ALWAYS HAVE HER SQUEEZABLES OUT ON DISPLAY,

GUYS WOULDN'T BE THINKING ALL THE TIME

ABOUT WHAT THEY WANNA DOTO 'EM!

OOH--

- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU JUST WATCH THE LEFT!

BOYCE, HOLD MY EARRINGS.

- CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. JUST CALM DOWN.

SHE'S NOT ALWAYS LIKE THIS, OKAY?

SHE'S JUST-- BABY, JUST CALM DOWN.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN