Original subtitles

- THE SOUL MANIS RECORDED

IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

[muffled music playing] - LOLLI...

COME ON, LET'S GO TO BED, BABY. DEXTER'SABOUT TO START.

- BOYCE, I CAN'T ENJOY MY SERIAL KILLER RIGHT NOW,

NOT WITH THAT PARTY GOING ON ACROSS THE STREET.

- WELL, WE COULD DROWN 'EM OUT

IF SOMEBODY HADN'T GAVE ME THE LEMON FACE

WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT BUYING SURROUND SOUND

FOR THE BEDROOM.

- BOYCE, DOES IT BOTHER YOU

THAT THOSE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS THROWING PARTIES

AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, THAT WE'RE NEVER INVITED?

- OOH, DEXTER ALREADY GOT THE TARP DOWN.

THIS GONNA BE GOOD RIGHT HERE.

OKAY, I'M LISTENING TO YOU, BABY, I'M SORRY.

- WHAT HAPPENED TO US, BOYCE?

WE USED TO BE ALL OF THAT!

WE GOT INVITED TO GRAMMY PARTIES AND AFTER-PARTIES...

AND A FEW AFTER-AFTER-PARTIES.

AND NOW WE CAN'T EVEN GET A, "HEY, Y'ALL WANNA STOP BY?"

FROM THE PEOPLE ACROSS THE STREET.

- I THINK YOU KNOW WHO'S TO BLAME.

NOBODY WANTS TO PARTY WITH THEIR PASTOR.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. HONEY, I'M NOT BLAMING YOU...

PER SE. IT'S JUST THAT...

I MISS PARTS OF THE OLD DAYS.

LIKE THE FUN PARTS!

- COME ON, LET'S HAVE OUR OWN PARTY.

COME ON! GET UP IN THERE.

- I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART.

I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GET SOME SLEEP.

- WHAT?

NO RIDE ON THE LOLLI-GO-ROUND?

WEEEE!

- I'M SORRY.

MY MOOD HAS TO BE AT LEAST THIS HIGH

FOR YOU TO RIDE THIS RIDE.

RIGHT NOW, MY MOOD HAS GONE DOWN.

- HUH.

NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY MOOD TO GO DOWN.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ HEY

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN

- YOU BETTER! - COME ON IN HERE.

- THE PASTOR AND FIRST LADY. WHAT A PLEASURE.

- HELLO. - HOW YOU DOING, GIRL?

NOW YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU KNEW HALLE BERRY!

WELCOME TO BIRDS, PRETTY LADY!

- THIS IS BIRD.

HE'S BEEN MY MAN 20 GRAND SINCE WE WERE KIDS.

AND HE LIKED ME 'CAUSE I WAS ALWAYS CRACKING JOKES,

I LIKED HIM BECAUSE HIS SISTER HAD BOOBIES IN SIXTH GRADE.

- THIS IS MY SISTER KIM. SHE'S A DOCTOR.

- NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SO DESIRED TO FALL ILL.

- DO THOSE CHEESY LINES EVER WORK?

- ACTUALLY THEY DO.

HE'S GOT THREE ALIMONY PAYMENTS TO PROVE IT.

- WHICH REMINDS ME,

WHEN AM I GONNA SEE A RETURN ON MY INVESTMENT IN THIS PLACE?

- OH, MAN, YOU KNOW YOU AT THE TOP OF THE LIST...

RIGHT AFTER UNCLE SAM, MY EX-WIVES...

MY ACTUAL UNCLE SAM,

AND MY NEWLY-CREATED DR. KIM JEWELRY FUND.

- OOH! OOH, OOH, OOH.

- ALLOW ME TO ESCORT YOU TO YOUR TABLE.

ACTUALLY, FIND YOUR OWN SEAT.

HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A RESERVATION FOR HALLE BERRY!

- OH, LOOK. HEY, THERE'S STAMPS.

MAYBE WE SHOULD ASK HIM TO COME OVER AND SIT WITH US.

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

THIS IS A RARE OPPORTUNITY

TO WATCH AN ACTUAL STAMPS IN THE WILD.

I BELIEVE HE'S ABOUT TO COMMENCE HIS COLORFUL MATING RITUAL.

SHH!

LISTEN.

HEY, GIRL.

WHY DON'T YOU DRINK A TEQUILA SHOT OFF MY ABS?

- WHY, I WOULD LOVE THAT!

'CAUSE I HAVE VERY LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

- ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS IS NOT

WHAT ALL THE GUYS IN ST. LOUIS ARE LIKE.

- I HAVE A REALLY NICE ACCOUNTANT I WANT YOU TO MEET.

- OH. - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

HE'S THE ACCOUNTANT THAT OTHERS ACCOUNTANTS GO TO.

- HE SOUNDS DULL.

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

- [gasps]

OH, MY GOD, THERE'S KEVIN AND DANIELLE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE HERE! - ME EITHER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER,

MAINLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE.

- THOSE ARE OUR NEIGHBORS WHO ARE ALWAYS THROWING PARTIES

AND NEVER INVITING US. OH, MY GOD!

- LOLLI, YOU ACT LIKE YOU NEVER SEEN WHITE PEOPLE BEFORE.

- THESE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS THROWING PARTIES,

AND WE'RE NEVER INVITED BECAUSE HE'S A PASTOR.

SO I'M BORING BY ASSOCIATION.

- OKAY. ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

I GOT THIS. - WHAT?

- COME ON, FOLLOW MY LEAD. - WHAT ARE WE DOING?

- WE ARE GOING TO GET COOL AGAIN.

[laughs] HEY, HEY!

GOOD PEOPLE, HOW Y'ALL DOING?

LOOKING GOOD, GOOD. KEEFF, KEEFF!

YOU SPELL IT WITH A "F," RIGHT?

ONLY ONE I KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT RIGHT.

THAT'S CUTE RIGHT THERE. THAT'S GOOD.

HEY, BIRD, I GOT THIS. EVERYTHING ON ME.

KEVIN AND DANIELLE! MAN, GOOD SEEING Y'ALL!

- WHAT'S UP, BALLENTINES? - HEY, NEIGHBORS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,

I WAS JUST TELLING LOLLI THE OTHER DAY

THAT KEVIN AND DANIELLE SEEM LIKE SOME REALLY NICE PEOPLE

AND WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER MORE,

YOU KNOW, PARTY OR SOMETHING.

- YE--UH, YEAH, HE WAS JUST TELLING ME THAT.

- SO BOYCE THE VOICE STILL PARTIES?

- I DIDN'T THINK PASTORS WERE ALLOWED TO PARTY.

- WELL, I'M NOT A PASTOR ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, EVEN JESUS HAD A FEW FRIENDS OVER FOR SUPPER

EVERY NOW AND THEN.

- WE GET IT IN.

GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING TO REPENT FOR ON SUNDAYS.

- WE DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS.

ALL THOSE PARTIES YOU HAVING OVER THERE--

GOOD TIMES.

YOU'RE PROBABLY HAVING SOMETHING THIS WEEKEND, RIGHT?

- WELL, ACTUALLY, NO. THIS WEEKEND WE GOT NOTHING.

- WELL, THAT IS PERFECT.

BECAUSE WE'RE HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND,

AND YOU SHOULD COME, RIGHT, HONEY?

I BELIEVE WE HAVE ROOM FOR TWO MORE, DON'T WE?

- BOYCE, WE WILL MAKE ROOM! - OKAY.

- WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY WITH SOMEBODY FAMOUS.

- WELL, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO DENNIS RODMAN'S PARTY,

BUT WE CHICKENED OUT.

- WE'VE LOVE TO COME.

- WELL, GOOD. - [squeals]

- YOU'RE ON THE LIST. WE'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY AT 8:00.

- [laughing]

- I TOLD YOU I GOT THIS!

- GIMME A POUND.

- BOOM. NOW SALT THE FRIES.

- OW!

- HEY, BABE.

I GOT THREE CASES OF CHAMPAGNE

AND 15 POUNDS OF JUMBO SHRIMP ON ICE.

AND, HERE, TRY THIS.

IT'S A NEW DRINK I CREATED CALLED THE ST. LOUIS ICED TEA.

- MM, WHAT'S IN IT?

- EVERYTHING BUT TEA.

- OKAY, Y'ALL. READY FOR THE LIGHT CHECK.

DJ HOT JAMZ, HIT THE LIGHTS PLEASE.

[dance music playing]

both: OOH! - I LOVE IT!

KEVIN AND DANIELLE ARE GONNA BE SO IMPRESSED.

NOW IF WE WERE JUST OVERCHARGING PEOPLE TO GET IN,

IT'LL BE JUST LIKE ONE OF YOUR VEGAS SHOWS.

[doorbell rings]

[gasps] OH! SISTER PEARLY!

- HEY. SISTER PEARLY, WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?

- I LOOKED FOR YOU AT CHURCH, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE.

WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS PASTOR, HE WAS ALWAYS THERE.

BUT CLEARLY, YOUR PRIORITIES ARE MORE SECULAR.

OH, ARE WE HAVING A PARTY?

- OH, OH, NO! NO, NO, NO, MA'AM!

THIS IS--THIS IS NOT A PARTY.

- NO, NO. THIS IS MORE LIKE COMMUNITY OUTREACH.

- OH, FOR NEW CHURCH MEMBERS.

- YES!

- WELL, THEN MAYBE I-- - YOUNG NEW MEMBERS.

IT'S ONLY THE YOUNG.

- OH, I SEE.

WELL, I JUST DROPPED BY TO BRING OVER THESE MARRIAGE LICENSES.

NOW PLEASE SIGN THEM QUICKLY SO THAT OUR LOVELY NEWLYWEDS

AREN'T BANISHED TO HELL FOR LIVING IN SIN.

- WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT, NOW, WOULD WE?

- THE GOOD BOOK SAYS-- - THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- I'M JUST SAYING,

THE CUBS ARE GONNA GO ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR.

- WHAT!

WAIT, CAN YOU TELL I'M MAKING

A "WOMAN, DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF TALKING" FACE?

'CAUSE THAT'S THE FACE I'M MAKING.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, COME TALK TO ME IN OCTOBER.

- YOU'RE DOING THAT ALL WRONG. - EXCUSE ME?

I KNOW HOW TO ROLL MEAT. - KEEP TALKING.

- SERIOUSLY?

IS SEX ALL YOU THINK ABOUT?

COME ON, STAMPS, AREN'T YOU TIRED OF ONE-NIGHT STANDS?

- AREN'T YOU TIRED OF HAVING NO STANDS AT ALL?

- I PREFER MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS, OKAY?

THEY MAY BE FEWER, BUT THEY'RE STRONGER.

AND AT LEAST I REMEMBER THE GUY'S LAST NAME.

- HEY, IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T REMEMBER THEIR LAST NAMES.

IT'S THAT I NEVER KNEW 'EM.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK. ONE MORE TIME, ALL RIGHT?

THIS ONE'S FOR THE GAME.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LAST TIME.

- AND THEY SCORE!

YEAH!

- HA HA!

[dance music playing]

- BOYCE, THE PARTY STARTED AN HOUR AGO.

I'M NERVOUS. THERE'S ONLY FIVE PEOPLE HERE,

AND TWO OF THEM ARE CHECKING OUT BOOKS.

THE ONLY THING SADDER THAN NOT BEING INVITED TO A PARTY

IS HAVING A PARTY WHERE NOBODY COMES.

- WELL, I THINK THE SADDEST THING

IS TO WATCH PEOPLE DO THE SOUL TRAINLINE.

- THIS PARTY STINKS.

I LIVE WITH MORE PEOPLE THAN THIS.

AND HEY, WHERE'S THAT ACCOUNTANT GUY THAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT?

- HE'S COMING. HE'S JUST FASHIONABLY LATE.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW HOW COUPLES LIKE TO TELL THE STORY

OF HOW THEY MET?

YEAH, WE CAN'T LET IT BE THIS.

- [clears throat] HAVE YOU MET TANYA?

OH, AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, THIS IS NOT A ONE-NIGHT STAND.

I SLEPT WITH HER BEFORE.

HER NAME IS TANYA SPRINGS. - WINTERS.

- WINTERS.

SO I SEE YOU'RE DATELESS AS USUAL.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T BLAME MY DATE.

YOU SEE, HE HAS TO COME ALL THE WAY HERE FROM A JOB.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE.

- THIS PROBABLY GOES WITHOUT SAYING,

BUT THIS PARTY SUCKS.

- I KNOW, BIRD.

AND EVERYBODY TOLD ME THEY WERE COMING.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE JUST TELL THE PASTOR

WHAT THEY THINK HE WANTS TO HEAR...

HANDSOME.

- LOOK, PEOPLE KNOW IT'S NOT PASTOR BALLENTINE

GIVING THE PARTY.

EVERYBODY KNOWS IT'S BOYCE THE VOICE.

- WELL, THE BOYCE THE VOICE I KNOW

WOULD BE ROCKING THAT MIC RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

- NO. NO, NO. I'M NOT SINGING AT MY OWN PARTY.

YOU REMEMBER CELINE DION'S BIRTHDAY.

WHEN SHE KEPT SINGING THE SONG FROM TITANIC,

THE PARTY SANK FASTER THAN THE BOAT.

[doorbell rings]

- THANK GOD, MORE PEOPLE! BOYCE! MORE PEOPLE!

[stammering] IT'S KEVIN AND DANIELLE!

- ARE WE EARLY?

WE DIDN'T SEE MANY CARS OUT FRONT.

- OH, NO, MOST PEOPLE PARKED AT THE MALL.

DID WE NOT TELL YOU ABOUT THE SHUTTLE?

- OH. - WELL, WE JUST DECIDED

TO WALK ACROSS THE STREET OURSELVES.

- [laughing]

WELL, COME IN BEFORE WE LET ALL THE FUN OUT.

- SO... THIS IS A BOYCE THE VOICE PARTY.

- OH, IT'S SO, UH...

SPACIOUS.

- YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, WE JUST STOPPED BY

TO LET YOU KNOW WE CAN'T STAY.

- WHA--

- WE HAVE A...THING.

- RIGHT, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU HAVE TWO THINGS,

AND WE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOUR...THING

WAS THE SAME NIGHT AS...OUR...

- OTHER THING. - RIGHT.

- CAN YOU PLEASE JUST STAY FOR ONE DRINK?

- OKAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS NEED.

HOT JAMZ, GIMME A DUBSTEP BEAT.

[dubstep music playing]

YEAH, YEAH.

HUH. COME ON, Y'ALL.

♪ SPANKIN' AIN'T JUST FOR KIDS ♪

♪ SOMETIMES A MAN GOTTA DO WHAT HE GOTTA DO ♪

COME ON, Y'ALL!

♪ SPANKIN' AIN'T JUST FOR KIDS ♪

[continues singing under music]

♪

- GIRL, YOU GOT TO GET HERE.

THE GUY THAT'S ON MY GRANDMA'S ALBUM--

HE'S SINGING.

GIRL, IT'S CRACKIN'! YES!

- ♪ SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK ♪

♪ SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, NOW ♪

♪ I

♪ I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU

♪ BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP ♪

♪ WITH YOU

♪ AND WITH YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND ALL OF YOU ♪

♪ AND YOU

THANK YOU!

[cheering]

OH, HONEY, OUR PARTY IS A BIG HIT!

- BABY, THE BALLENTINES ARE BACK.

- OW!

WHOA!

I THINK I'MA GO PUT AWAY THE GOOD TOWELS.

- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.

GET A ROOM.

- I THINK THIS IS INSANE.

- YOU THINK THIS IS INSANE?

I JUST CAUGHT SOMEBODY IN THERE

TRYING TO STEAL OUR FREEZER MEAT.

- OOH, OOH, OOH.

ACCOUNTANT GUY. HI, HONEY.

I GOT SOMEBODY I WANT YOU TO MEET.

RIGHT THIS WAY. 'SCUSE US!

'SCUSE US! ACCOUNTANT COMING THROUGH.

- KEITH?

- HEY, KIM. THIS IS ACCOUNTANT GUY.

ACCOUNTANT GUY, MY SISTER KIM.

HEY! WOULD DANCE LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER?

- THIS ISMY MOTHER.

- BOYCE, YOU SMELL WHAT I SMELL

COMING FROM UPSTAIRS?

- SOMEBODY'S SMOKING THAT BLUE MOUNTAIN KUSH.

I MEAN, THAT'S--

NOT IN MY HOUSE.

WE GOT 800 THREAD COUNT SHEETS UP THERE, COME ON.

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CARDINALS THIS YEAR?

- I DON'T FOLLOW BASKETBALL.

- APPARENTLY, YOU DON'T FOLLOW BASEBALL EITHER.

- I DON'T LIKE SPORTS. IT'S TOO HARD TO PARK.

- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU, UH, PARK IT RIGHT HERE, ALL RIGHT?

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

AND I AM GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO PLAY SHRIMP FOOTBALL, GIRL.

HOLD THAT.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. FLICK THE SHRIMP INTO MY MOUTH.

- WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

- THESE ARE THE GOAL POSTS, AND THE SHRIMP IS THE FOOTBALL.

- BUT I JUST GOT THESE NAILS PUTS ON.

- COME ON, FLICK IT. - NO.

- FLICK IT! - NO!

- OH, FLICK THE DAMN SHRIMP!

- WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GRIND ON MY BOOTY LIKE A NORMAL GUY?

- OH, ALL RIGHT.

- OH! [laughing]

THANK YOU.

- I KNOW THAT LOOK.

SAME ONE I USED TO GIVE MY SECOND WIFE.

SHE WAS THE BEST ONE.

EXCUSE ME.

I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE HALLE BERRY.

YOU MUST GET THAT ALL THE TIME.

- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN OUR BEDROOM?

- YOU! GET OFF OUR BED!

AND YOU, TAKE OFF MY SECOND FAREWELL TOUR JACKET.

- AND YOU, PUT MY DRAWERS BACK IN MY DRAWERS DRAWER!

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

- I MEAN, REALLY. WHAT IS GOING--

KEITH?

OH!

THERE'S NO SMOKING IN THIS HOUSE.

- COME ON, MAN. THE OWNER SAID IT WAS COOL.

- I AM THE OWNER.

GET OUTTA HERE! - GO, GO, GO!

GO!

- I DO A LITTLE TILE WORK IF YOU EVER NEED IT.

- GET OUT! - GET OUTTA HERE.

HE CAN "DO SOME TILE WORK."

HEY, DO YOU DO SURROUND SOUND?

OOH!

- SO THIS IS WHERE THE REAL PARTY IS.

- OH, NO, NO, NO. NO!

- OH, NO, THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK AT ALL.

- OH, THAT'S A BUMMER.

WE JUST CAME UP HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WE'RE HAVING A BLAST,

AND WE'RE GONNA INVITE YOU TO OUR PARTY NEXT WEEK!

- OH, BOYCE!

WE'RE GOING TO THEIR PARTY NEXT WEEK!

HA, HA! THANK YOU!

- WE THINK YOU'RE BOTH AMAZING!

- AHH! [laughing]

- YOU KNOW, WE THINK YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING TOO.

- AWW, THAT IS SO SWEET.

- OKAY.

OH, OH.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

- GO AHEAD, SQUEEZE IT.

- GIRL, GIRL. OH, OH!

OH, OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WE DON'T NEED THE LIGHTS OFF.

- OH, YOU WANT 'EM ON? I'M SORRY IF I SEEM NERVOUS.

IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO GO BLACK

AND NEVER GO BACK.

- YOU ABOUT TO GO WHERE? - NO.

- OH, OH, DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY.

SPAYED, NEUTERED!

LET'S GET BUSY!

- NO, NO, Y'ALL GO AHEAD AND FREAK AMONGST YOURSELVES.

GO, BABY. GO!

- CAN YOU BELIEVE WE WERE TRYING TO IMPRESS THOSE FREAKS?

- WELL, APPARENTLY WE DID.

- I THOUGHT SO!

- BOYCE, IT'S SISTER PEARLY!

- NEW MEMBER DRIVE MY BUTT!

[sniffing] I SMELL THAT BLUE MOUNTAIN KUSH.

- GO! GO, BABY! GO! GO!

STAY LOW. STAY LOW! LOW, LOW, LOW.

HIDING IN MY OWN HOUSE. GO, GO!

- [gasps]

- IT'S OKAY. THE OWNER SAID IT WAS COOL.

- I AMTHE OWNER.

- TAKE THAT UP WITH THE MAN IN THE BEDROOM.

DO WOOD WORK IF YOU EVER NEED IT.

- GET OUT! - GET OUTTA HERE.

AH, BABE, I'M SORRY.

I MEAN, I REALLY THOUGHT THAT WE COULD MAKE A BALANCE

BETWEEN OUR OLD LIFE AND OUR NEW LIFE.

BUT TO BE HONEST, I LIKE WHAT WE HAVE.

NOW PEOPLE OUT THERE TEARING UP OUR HOUSE,

MUSIC ALL LOUD, I'M SLEEPY.

I MEAN, I'M REALLY SLEEPY.

- ME TOO.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS RIGHT NOW?

BEING CUDDLED UP IN MY JAMMIES NEXT TO YOU,

WATCHING DEXTER CUT SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF.

SO...

WHERE WE GONNA LIVE AFTER THEY BURN OUR HOUSE DOWN?

- NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN.

UH-UH.

HELLO?

YES, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT MY EMERGENCY IS.

I JUST WANTED TO SPEND A QUIET EVENING AT HOME WITH MY WIFE

WATCHING HOT IN CLEVELAND.

SHE LOVES BETTY WHITE.

ANYWAY, OUR NEIGHBORS-- THOSE LAW-ABIDING BALLENTINES--

WE LOVE THEM. THEY ARE NICE, GREAT PEOPLE.

BUT THEY ARE OUT,

AND SOME HOODLUMS HAVE TAKEN OVER THEIR HOUSE.

AND EVERYTHING HAS GONE HAYWIRE!

SO PLEASE HURRY UP! G--

- [mouthing words] - OH, BY THE WAY, I'M WHITE.

[sirens blaring]

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT ALWAYS WORK WHEN YOU SAY YOU WHITE.

- SO IN CLOSING...

YOU KNOW, OFTEN FOCUS ON THE WRONG THINGS,

WHAT OUR NEIGHBORS HAVE

RATHER THAN WHAT GOD HAS BLESSED US WITH.

CAN THE CELL SAY "AMEN"? all: AMEN!

- AND I BELIEVE WE'VE LEARNED ANOTHER LESSON--

NOT TO ARGUE WITH THE POLICE

OR TELL THEM THEY SMELL LIKE BACON.

- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,

NOBODY PUTS THEIR HANDS ON SISTER PEARLY.

AND SECOND, THE CHURCH ELDERS WILL DEFINITELY HEAR

ABOUT YOUR SINFUL SHENANIGANS.

THAT, I PROMISE YOU.

- YOU'RE ALL FREE TO GO.

- SORRY, GUYS. THANK YOU.

- EXCEPT YOU, MA'AM.

- ME? WHY, I NEVER!

- YES, YOU HAVE.

YOU GOT TWO OUTSTANDING WARRANTS,

PEARL HAMSTEAD.

OR SHOULD I SAY AUBREY FARBER,

AKA BETTY JO BULASKI?

- PSHH!

UH, PASTOR, A LITTLE HELP FOR A SWEET OLD LADY?

- WHAT YOU THINK, BOYCE?

WE CAN HELP OUT SISTER PEARLY, CAN'T WE?

- YEAH, I GUESS WE CAN POST YOUR BAIL...

AS LONG AS WHAT HAPPENED HERE TONIGHT

STAYS BETWEEN US.

HOW ABOUT IT, BETTY JO?

- BLESS YOU, PASTOR.

[whimpering]

- DO A LITTLE BRICK WORK IF YOU EVER NEED IT.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ THE SOUL MAN