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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,266 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 4 00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:32,533 (LAUGHING) 5 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,834 ♪♪(FUNERAL MARCH PLAYING) 6 00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:42,300 (THUNDER CRASHING) 7 00:00:45,533 --> 00:00:46,834 (CLUCKS) 8 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:50,233 (JOHNNY READING) 9 00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:06,200 ♪♪(O FORTUNA PLAYING) 10 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,200 (EXPLOSIONS) 11 00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,000 (ALL WHOOPING) 12 00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:16,600 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass. 13 00:03:16,633 --> 00:03:18,166 (LAUGHING) 14 00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,266 (YELLING) 15 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,567 Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to rent a car. 16 00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:36,166 (DOORBELL JINGLING) 17 00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:40,600 What's up? JOHNNY: Hi, I have a reservation. 18 00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:42,667 Okay, I need a driver's license and a credit card. 19 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,133 All right. 20 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,066 I need a signature here that you're going to use your coverage instead of ours. 21 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,700 Is that white one us? CLERK: Yes. 22 00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:53,500 And we're gonna walk around it, inspect it together. 23 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,367 JOHNNY: Looks pretty good. 24 00:03:57,934 --> 00:04:00,300 I'm just looking for dents and major scratches. 25 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:01,533 Yeah. 26 00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:02,800 Something major, gonna write it down. 27 00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:03,967 Little ding there. 28 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,100 Yeah. 29 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,300 No, we'll take good care of her. 30 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:08,333 Thank you. Have a good week. 31 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:09,567 You, too. Thank you. 32 00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:16,967 (JOHNNY CACKLING) 33 00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:38,033 I'm Johnny. Hey, man. 34 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,000 We're gonna be doing a hell of a lot of work here today. 35 00:04:54,066 --> 00:04:56,133 Trust us. We're gonna have fun. 36 00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:58,266 (TIRES SCREECHING) 37 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,667 (ENGINE REVVING) 38 00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:08,600 Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville, 39 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:11,033 and this is called the Rent-a-Car Crash-Up Derby. 40 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,400 (TIRES SCREECHING) 41 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,734 Oh, fuck! 42 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,667 JOHNNY: You guys are gonna die! 43 00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,667 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 44 00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:04,700 MAN: Shut the car off before it gets hot. 45 00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:07,467 Oh, fuck! 46 00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:12,166 (PEOPLE CHATTERING AND LAUGHING) 47 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,734 I guess we didn't reinforce the windshield. 48 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:18,000 That fucker kept... Missed me by that much. 49 00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:19,300 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 50 00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:21,500 STEVE-O: That's why you got the roll bars behind you, dude. 51 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,333 (SPUTTERING AND SQUEAKING) 52 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:31,467 Whose car is this? 53 00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:35,467 JOHNNY: Uh, this is your guys' car. I rented it from you earlier. 54 00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,834 Yes. Yeah, what... 55 00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:39,400 JOHNNY: Yeah, I hit a dog. 56 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,934 A dog didn't cause this. 57 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,633 (DOORBELL JINGLING) 58 00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:45,133 Come on in. 59 00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:48,033 JOHNNY: I had a accident, as you can see. 60 00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:51,600 I was... I mean, I drink. I just black out, so I... 61 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,300 Were you drinking or anything? 62 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,266 Yeah, I had a little, to be honest. 63 00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,934 Is there any license plates on it? 64 00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:01,934 There was. Yeah? 65 00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:04,533 Well, hopefully you guys will incur some of the cost. 66 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:05,800 Oh, no. 67 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,000 'Cause I rented it from you guys fair and square. 68 00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:09,166 Yeah. 69 00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:11,867 I don't want to get stuck with the whole charge of it. 70 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,033 Well, you are gonna get stuck with the entire thing. 71 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:17,200 JOHNNY: Well, I don't think I should. I think you guys should help. 72 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,934 No. You declined any additional coverage. 73 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,734 Right there. You declined it. 74 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,867 Yeah, but that's just paperwork, you know? 75 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,200 That's a legal contract. Yeah, but I was a little... I was... 76 00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:30,867 I had a few to drink when I signed that, too, so... 77 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,734 Well, we're gonna have to get this worked out. 78 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,166 Yeah, you're gonna have to pay for that car. 79 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,033 Well, you're gonna have to help me pay for that car. 80 00:07:37,066 --> 00:07:38,200 No, we don't do that. 81 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:41,100 I returned it with a full tank of gas. 82 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,233 You returned it demolished. 83 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,734 Well, it's got a full tank of gas. 84 00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:48,266 That's the least of our worries right now, is the gas. 85 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,100 Oh. This is an unmitigated outrage. 86 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,266 I've never seen anything like this before. 87 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,367 What does that mean? 88 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,467 No one's ever done that. 89 00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,233 Well, I can't pay for it. 90 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,734 Well, you're gonna have to. 91 00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:06,100 JOHNNY: Well, I ain't. 92 00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:11,467 Look, I'm gonna let you two guys work it out and I'm gonna go outside, 93 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,333 but, um, that car's gonna have to be paid for. 94 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,367 (DOORBELL JINGLING) 95 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,633 (INAUDIBLE) 96 00:08:30,633 --> 00:08:31,934 (HORN HONKING) 97 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,367 JOHNNY: "F" you! 98 00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:35,066 (LAUGHING) 99 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,066 (CROWD CHEERING) 100 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,467 Are you all right? 101 00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:57,767 (CROWD GROANING) 102 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:03,800 (CROWD LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING) 103 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,300 MAN: You all right? 104 00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:11,400 Knoxville knocked my nuts in half. 105 00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,533 (GROANING) 106 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:21,567 This is the Muscle Stimulator. 107 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,433 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) 108 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,133 (SCREAMS) 109 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,867 Oh, it hurts my teeth! 110 00:09:29,066 --> 00:09:30,367 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) 111 00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:33,834 (SCREAMS) I can't even turn it off. 112 00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,133 How is that supposed to help? 113 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,600 Okay, are you ready? Yeah. 114 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,567 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) 115 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,367 DAVE: Think about your--your... 116 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,033 (SCREAMING) 117 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:51,066 Okay, okay, I got it. I'm taking care of you. 118 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:52,867 It's all right. Okay. Oh, my God, it's so bad. 119 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,433 It's cool. You cool? Yeah. I'm good. 120 00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:55,900 Okay. Come on. 121 00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:58,066 Ease up. Come on. Daddy's got you. 122 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:01,266 Oh, my God, it's so fucking bad. Daddy's got you. Come on. 123 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,367 (BUZZING) 124 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,767 Whoo! 125 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,467 You're gonna have tits of steel. 126 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,700 Oh. Yeah, you're so buff right now. 127 00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:10,367 Yeah, this goes on the gooch. Yeah, go, go, go, come on. 128 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,834 This goes on the gooch. Oh, dude, he's done. 129 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,367 Who's gonna do the gooch? 130 00:10:14,633 --> 00:10:16,300 In case you didn't know what the gooch is, 131 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:20,400 the gooch is the spot between your balls and butt hole, and... 132 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,033 (LAUGHING) Ooh! 133 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,734 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) 134 00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:27,133 (SCREAMING) 135 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,200 CHRIS: Does it smell like... Does it smell like man? Ooh! Smell. 136 00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:40,433 Just smell it. Just smell it. 137 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:41,700 CHRIS: Ehren, smell it. 138 00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:43,133 (ELECTRICITY SURGING) 139 00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:45,567 (ALL LAUGHING) 140 00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:49,400 STEVE-O: No, come on. 141 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,767 Do your balls first, just to get it over with. 142 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,233 Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get it over with. 143 00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,800 Are we ready? You're so gone, man. 144 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,233 Okay. 145 00:10:55,266 --> 00:10:56,900 (SCREAMING) 146 00:10:56,934 --> 00:10:57,900 (ELECTRICITY BUZZES) 147 00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:08,734 He likes it! He likes it! Oh, my God! 148 00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:10,200 He likes it. 149 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,600 (SIGHING) 150 00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:23,533 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 151 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:27,667 Afternoon. How you doing? 152 00:11:29,066 --> 00:11:30,333 (TEARING) 153 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,667 Oh. Son of a bitch. 154 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,033 What happened? 155 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,166 Oh, man! 156 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,166 Oh! 157 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,867 (BAM LAUGHING) 158 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,233 Fuck! Fuck! Oh! 159 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,934 ♪ Well, now the cats are rockin' ♪ 160 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:17,166 ♪ And everyone's feeling all right ♪ 161 00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:21,233 ♪ And on a Wednesday evening, there's sure gonna be a fight ♪ 162 00:12:21,266 --> 00:12:22,667 ♪ Yeah, a fight ♪ 163 00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,834 ♪ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪ 164 00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,467 ♪ Well, now the party's groovin' ♪ 165 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,767 ♪ And everyone's shouting for more ♪ 166 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,934 ♪ More ♪ 167 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:33,934 ♪ I say there's gonna be a pool of blood on the dancefloor♪ 168 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,367 ♪ More ♪ 169 00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:39,533 ♪ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪ 170 00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,467 ♪ We're gonna rip up the chairs ♪ 171 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,567 ♪ Tear down the walls, smash up the band ♪ 172 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,000 ♪ And really have a ball ♪ 173 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,033 ♪ The busboy's gonna beat up on his face ♪ 174 00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:50,133 ♪ And the whole dance floor will be a total mess ♪ 175 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,400 ♪ Well, the cats are rockin' ♪ 176 00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,567 ♪ And everyone is feelin' all right ♪ 177 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:54,867 ♪ All right... ♪ 178 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,400 Whoa! 179 00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:02,400 ♪ I said somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪ 180 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,200 (LAUGHING) 181 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,667 Yeah! 182 00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:12,433 Oh. 183 00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,066 (BOTH LAUGHING) 184 00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:19,333 Yes! That was the best thing I've ever seen. 185 00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,000 ♪ Tear down the walls ♪ 186 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,333 What? 187 00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:26,000 ♪ And the whole dance hall will be a total mess... ♪ 188 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:27,467 Oh, fuck, dude. 189 00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,133 (BOTH LAUGHING) 190 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,500 Nice, yeah. 191 00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:35,000 ♪ And on a Wednesday evening, there's sure gonna be a fight ♪ 192 00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,100 ♪ Be a fight! ♪ 193 00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:39,467 ♪ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♪♪ 194 00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:45,834 (GROANING) ED: Are you okay? 195 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,233 Are you okay? Are you okay? Get over here! 196 00:13:48,266 --> 00:13:49,867 Help him! Help him! Help him! Medic! 197 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,834 ED: No, no, no, no. Don't move him. Don't move him! 198 00:13:51,867 --> 00:13:53,166 Oh, shit. 199 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,133 That had bad news written all over it. Are you okay? You all right? 200 00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:59,734 That was like the worst thing that could ever happen, right there. 201 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,467 CHRIS: Dunn can't drive for shit. 202 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,934 I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air, 203 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:08,367 and the next thing I know I'm just fucked. MAN: Look at that cart. 204 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,600 STEVE-O: Dude, you were hauling so much ass. 205 00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,166 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 206 00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:17,667 We're here in Tokyo, and I feel like partying. 207 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,834 (WOMAN CHATTERING IN JAPANESE ON PA) 208 00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:23,600 Hi. I'm Party Boy. 209 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,967 Oh, can I try this? 210 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:27,934 (BEEPING) Here we go. 211 00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,567 That's my party music. 212 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,967 ♪♪(PARTY BOY THEME PLAYING) 213 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,533 You like it? 214 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,066 Kind of makes you wanna party, huh? 215 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,734 Kind of feel like partying right now. 216 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,033 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 217 00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:36,266 (GROANS) 218 00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:42,000 Ready? 219 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,600 (SCREAMING) 220 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,467 See, that's what the big ones do, but sometimes they don't... 221 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,000 It'll take a while before... 222 00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,667 Oh, fuck! 223 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,900 Don't pull on it, man. You can't pry his mouth open. 224 00:16:01,133 --> 00:16:03,200 (CROWD LAUGHING) 225 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,633 It's slowly getting away. It's slowly... 226 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:06,967 Is he opening it? 227 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,633 No, you're twisting him! You're fucking twisting him! 228 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,734 Oh, fuck! He's got my nipple, dude. He's got my fucking nipple. 229 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:15,900 LANCE: Wait, wait, wait, he's gonna open it. 230 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,433 I know. I know. Hang on, hang on. CAMERAMAN: Hang on. Don't move. 231 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,133 (JOHNNY WAILING) 232 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,567 You little bastard! 233 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,734 BAM: Oh, look at the teeth marks. 234 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,033 (BIRD CAWING) 235 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,266 STEVE-O: Man. 236 00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:38,100 (SNARLING AND HISSING) 237 00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,533 I'm Bunny, the lifeguard, 238 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,500 and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, 239 00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:47,667 I'm gonna rassle them down and probably have my way with them. 240 00:16:48,033 --> 00:16:50,300 If he falls and he lands near an alligator, 241 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:53,033 and an alligator grabs a hold of him, Steve-O will relax, 242 00:16:53,066 --> 00:16:56,266 let the alligator take him and hope that the alligator will release him. 243 00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:59,033 Hi. I'm Steve-O, and this is Alligator Tightrope. 244 00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:01,433 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 245 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:06,700 Oh, shit. 246 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,467 JOHNNY: There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O. 247 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,700 EHREN: Take another step. 248 00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,100 CHRIS: You got it. 249 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:14,166 One thing I know is good tightrope walking. 250 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,967 Oh, no. JOHNNY: Oh, yes. 251 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,700 CHRIS: You're cool. You're good. 252 00:17:22,734 --> 00:17:24,467 JOHNNY: Go put the chicken on him! 253 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,867 Yeah! Yeah! 254 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,433 Oh, shit. There you go. 255 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:34,834 JOHNNY: Yeah, there you go. Food, food, food, food. 256 00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,333 CHRIS: Go back down a little bit. 257 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,800 JOHNNY: Go, keep going, Steve-O. 258 00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:40,767 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 259 00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:44,000 Yeah! 260 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,900 (ALL LAUGHING) 261 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,433 BAM: Keep going, Steve-O. Keep going! 262 00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:51,734 CHRIS: Keep going, Steve-O! 263 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,900 Keep your head up, Steve-O! 264 00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:57,400 Keep your head up! Keep your head up! 265 00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:58,633 They got you now. You're doing good! 266 00:17:58,667 --> 00:17:59,800 BAM: Keep your head up! 267 00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,600 PRESTON: Keep your butt up! 268 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:03,133 You got it! All right, all right! 269 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,800 Keep your butt... 270 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,500 MANNY: Put it in your ass and let him take it. 271 00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,000 Come on. 272 00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:16,834 JOHNNY: Stick the bone up your ass. 273 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,033 And let him pull it out. 274 00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,667 ALL: Food, food, food, food! 275 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,400 Get ready. PRESTON: Here it comes. Here it comes. 276 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,333 MANNY: Stay there. Don't move. Don't move. 277 00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:27,133 BAM: It'll be over before you know it. 278 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,433 Don't look! Don't look, Steve-O. 279 00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:29,633 PRESTON: Don't look. 280 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,433 BAM: Don't look, Steve-O! Don't look! 281 00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:34,033 Stay still. Stay still. 282 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,633 He's going. He's got it. Don't look! Don't look! 283 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,333 Don't move! 284 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,333 Hang on! 285 00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:43,500 Hold still! Hold still! 286 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,900 I ran straight into a crocodile. What the hell. 287 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:57,667 Oh, my God. 288 00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,266 CAMERAMAN: Why can't you walk on a tightrope? 289 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,900 I don't know. 290 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,533 I thought you'd do it. 291 00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,233 (SIGHING) Yeah. 292 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,767 I just... I don't know, man. But I'm sure I could learn, 293 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,433 but today, you know, today was my first try. 294 00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:13,333 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 295 00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:15,667 I'm Bam Margera, and my parents are dead asleep. 296 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:20,533 It's 12:42 right now and Phil has to be at work at 5:00 in the morning. 297 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,166 So he's trying to get a good night's sleep 298 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,133 and I'm gonna go wake his ass up. 299 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,400 (DOOR CREAKING) 300 00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:36,433 (PHIL SNORING) 301 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,834 (INAUDIBLE) 302 00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,100 (PHIL CONTINUES SNORING) 303 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,033 (FIREWORKS EXPLODING) 304 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,000 APRIL: I'm dying! 305 00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,200 (DOGS BARKING) 306 00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:14,400 Holy shit! 307 00:20:14,433 --> 00:20:15,734 (SMOKE ALARM BEEPING) 308 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:18,100 Oh, my God, I'm opening the windows. Getting crazy over here. 309 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,467 Look at Phil's tummy. 310 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,900 Oh. Oh, my God! 311 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:25,367 Phil, you gotta be up for 5:00 in the morning tonight. 312 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,333 PHIL: 6:00, gotta be at work. 313 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,033 (BAM SHUSHING) 314 00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:31,066 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 315 00:20:36,266 --> 00:20:38,533 Yo, here he comes. Here he comes. Here he comes. 316 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,133 (SEATBELT WARNING BEEPS) 317 00:20:58,066 --> 00:21:00,400 (FIREWORKS EXPLODING) 318 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,567 PHIL: Jesus Christ, Bam! I almost broke my leg getting out of there! 319 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,066 There's shit all over the goddamn van. 320 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,567 How am I going to work now? 321 00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,934 ♪♪(SOPHISTICATED BITCH PLAYING) 322 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,567 Go! 323 00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,500 I... Jesus! 324 00:21:35,533 --> 00:21:38,000 ♪ That woman in the corner cold playin' the role ♪ 325 00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:40,800 ♪ Leave her ass in the corner till her feet gets cold ♪ 326 00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,133 ♪ Knowin' for a fact that girl is wack ♪ 327 00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:45,667 ♪ If you hold your hand out, she'll turn her back ♪ 328 00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:48,300 ♪ Better walk, don't talk, she's all pretend ♪ 329 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,867 ♪ Can't be her friend unless you spend ♪ 330 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:53,333 ♪ Wall to wall after all, get ready to throw ♪ 331 00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,700 ♪ All your money at the bitch ♪ 332 00:21:54,734 --> 00:21:57,400 ♪ 'Cause she thinks she's sophisticated ♪ 333 00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:02,300 ♪ Sophisticated ♪ 334 00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:07,166 ♪ Sophisticated ♪ 335 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:12,700 ♪ Sophisticated ♪♪ 336 00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:15,166 ♪♪(MUSIC PLAYING ON PA) 337 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,633 What are you doing? 338 00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:45,300 You know, I ought to arrest you right now 339 00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:48,200 with all that in your clothes. What's wrong with you? 340 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,433 What are you talking about? 341 00:22:49,467 --> 00:22:50,767 Get this out of your pocket, man! 342 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,233 That's all me! All of this! 343 00:22:52,266 --> 00:22:53,700 All of that! That's all me! 344 00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:56,734 What is this bullshit? 345 00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:03,734 What is wrong with you? Those are my bananas. 346 00:23:03,767 --> 00:23:06,033 Don't never come in here no more, man! What are you... 347 00:23:06,066 --> 00:23:08,967 Get out! And take the other stuff out of your pockets. 348 00:23:10,934 --> 00:23:12,567 Jeez! Get it all out! 349 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,200 That's how you treat an old man? 350 00:23:14,233 --> 00:23:17,533 Yep. Get out! Go! An old man that steals, I can't believe it. 351 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,367 Hey, man, what kind of games you playing? Get out! 352 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,400 Get out, man! God damn it! 353 00:23:36,467 --> 00:23:39,433 What is wrong with you? Get out! 354 00:23:47,867 --> 00:23:49,300 Man, quit playing! 355 00:23:53,934 --> 00:23:55,834 I was Lon Chaney's lover! 356 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:57,567 Go back and love him! 357 00:23:59,467 --> 00:24:02,900 So, we're gonna go to this hardware store. They sell toilets. 358 00:24:02,934 --> 00:24:06,166 And, uh, I'm gonna take a shit right in one of the toilets. 359 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,200 I'm gonna shit in my pants before we get to that fucking place. 360 00:24:09,767 --> 00:24:10,767 CAMERAMAN: Dave, fight it, man. 361 00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:12,934 And I don't even want to make a joke about it right now 362 00:24:12,967 --> 00:24:14,667 'cause I just wanna hold it in. 363 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,433 Gotta poo? Pretty much. 364 00:24:16,467 --> 00:24:17,633 Really? Yeah. 365 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:19,867 Like, really bad. Don't... Do you want to ruin everything? 366 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,233 I swear to God, it's... Really? Like, that bad? 367 00:24:21,266 --> 00:24:22,734 Yeah, like, it's a problem. 368 00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:24,834 JOHNNY: Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom? 369 00:24:24,867 --> 00:24:27,734 No, no. I shit my pants at the fair. 370 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,533 BAM: Oh, dude, he's shitting right now. 371 00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:32,834 Get out of the car! Oh, get out, dude, get out! 372 00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:34,567 CHRIS: No shit, get out of here! 373 00:24:35,734 --> 00:24:40,633 Come on, man, get out of the fucking car. Get out of the fucking car! 374 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,100 (MOANING) 375 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,800 Oh! What do I do? 376 00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:46,967 JOHNNY: Did you shit? 377 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,800 (FARTING) Did you do it? 378 00:24:48,834 --> 00:24:52,900 Holy shit! I'm taking a cab back to the hotel. 379 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,900 He just shat everywhere. 380 00:25:04,934 --> 00:25:07,467 (ALL LAUGHING) 381 00:25:15,133 --> 00:25:16,734 What's wrong, man? 382 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:18,467 I had to sit there while he shat. 383 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,734 (RETCHING) 384 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,000 I need to go home right now. 385 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,767 It's on my hand. Just let them see it. 386 00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,633 (DOORBELL JINGLING) 387 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,033 (DEFECATING) 388 00:25:54,567 --> 00:25:55,633 (GRUNTS) 389 00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:56,900 (FARTING) 390 00:25:59,734 --> 00:26:01,900 Is that a bolt? We have very... 391 00:26:01,934 --> 00:26:03,600 What the hell you doing? What was that? 392 00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:05,400 What are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry. 393 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,867 I'm almost done. 394 00:26:09,533 --> 00:26:12,166 I hope you didn't take a shit in that, son of a bitch. 395 00:26:13,233 --> 00:26:15,900 You take a shit in that, they're gonna get you to clean it out, pal. 396 00:26:18,266 --> 00:26:20,533 That is disgusting, man. 397 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,767 (DOORBELL JINGLING) 398 00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:30,967 What a fucking Froot Loop. 399 00:26:34,834 --> 00:26:36,266 Want me to play it back? 400 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,300 (BUZZING) 401 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:47,633 Hey! What the fuck? What the... 402 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:51,667 (BUZZING) 403 00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:54,166 BAM: Got him, dude. And there went his hair. 404 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,233 CAMERAMAN: Turn around. Let's see it. 405 00:26:55,266 --> 00:26:56,667 That was so much. 406 00:26:56,934 --> 00:26:57,934 (LAUGHING) 407 00:26:59,066 --> 00:27:00,867 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 408 00:27:02,734 --> 00:27:04,367 (BUZZING) 409 00:27:04,967 --> 00:27:06,834 Oh, no! 410 00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:09,467 (BUZZING) 411 00:27:11,266 --> 00:27:12,500 (ALL LAUGHING) 412 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:15,433 Yeah. CAMERAMAN: Look at me. 413 00:27:16,533 --> 00:27:17,533 That's a good one. 414 00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:18,834 We're ready. 415 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,400 I'm Ehren McGhehey, and this is the Mousetrap. 416 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,800 ♪♪(MOUSETRAP PLAYING) 417 00:27:25,834 --> 00:27:28,500 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 418 00:27:28,533 --> 00:27:31,333 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 419 00:27:31,367 --> 00:27:34,667 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 420 00:27:39,967 --> 00:27:42,967 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 421 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,033 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 422 00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:48,500 ♪ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♪ 423 00:27:54,734 --> 00:27:56,166 (GROANING) 424 00:27:57,033 --> 00:27:58,700 All right! All right! All right! 425 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:01,734 (SCREAMING) 426 00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:04,400 Come on! Come on. 427 00:28:05,133 --> 00:28:06,500 Okay, that's enough. 428 00:28:06,533 --> 00:28:10,133 That's enough! That's enough! I called it! Hey! Time! 429 00:28:15,333 --> 00:28:17,333 BAM: The Bungee Wedgie. 430 00:28:18,133 --> 00:28:22,333 Dude. This isn't gonna work. 431 00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:24,600 It might. 432 00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:28,767 CAMERAMAN: What's-- What's gonna happen here? 433 00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:33,400 I don't know, but it's not what's going to be intended. 434 00:28:33,867 --> 00:28:36,200 BAM: Raab's putting a fucking tampon on. 435 00:28:37,867 --> 00:28:40,066 RYAN: That's like a Courtney Love-sized maxi pad. 436 00:28:40,867 --> 00:28:43,100 Dudes, this is, like, worse than a hanging. 437 00:28:44,533 --> 00:28:47,333 I'm Raab himself and I'm a complete fucking idiot. 438 00:28:47,533 --> 00:28:48,800 (TEARING) 439 00:28:49,734 --> 00:28:51,333 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 440 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:57,700 BAM: Oh, that's funny. It didn't work. 441 00:28:57,734 --> 00:28:58,967 Nope. 442 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,600 We gotta get another one, man. 443 00:29:00,633 --> 00:29:02,100 Let's do it again. 444 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,467 Hey, I'm Raab himself, and this is Bungee Wedgie. 445 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:07,400 (TEARING) 446 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,900 Fuck! 447 00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:26,300 BAM: Is that your shitty ass, dude? 448 00:29:26,834 --> 00:29:29,333 Look at the bloody, shitty underpants. 449 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:31,166 RAAB: Didn't give me a wedgie. I went forward. 450 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,967 JOHNNY: I can't believe it. 451 00:29:34,166 --> 00:29:35,834 RYAN: That is so funny. 452 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:41,200 All right, we're here in the valley today 453 00:29:41,233 --> 00:29:43,100 to do our own little riot-control test. 454 00:29:43,133 --> 00:29:44,500 This is George Hruska. 455 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,066 All right, George, uh, what do you do 456 00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:47,367 and what are we doing here today? 457 00:29:48,734 --> 00:29:51,000 Well, I'm Vice President of Operations with A.L.S. Technologies. 458 00:29:51,367 --> 00:29:53,367 We manufacture less-lethal ammunition. 459 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,533 We're one of the top manufacturing companies in the United States. 460 00:29:56,567 --> 00:30:00,000 And we're going to shoot you with one of our projectiles. 461 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:05,100 It's called the Pen-Prevent. It's a 40-gram, tail-stabilized bag. 462 00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:09,400 It'll be traveling about, uh, 250 feet per second. 463 00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,166 Is that lethal? 464 00:30:11,567 --> 00:30:13,300 I-It's considered less lethal. 465 00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:20,033 So, this morning I thought I was taking it in the chest with the beanbag projectile, 466 00:30:20,066 --> 00:30:21,767 but George and his company said, "No way." 467 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,166 'Cause if it hits me in the heart, 468 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,200 I'm pretty much done with, so, uh... 469 00:30:26,233 --> 00:30:28,667 GEORGE: We want to take every single precaution... Right. 470 00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:31,367 ...necessary to help protect your vital organs. 471 00:30:31,567 --> 00:30:33,834 Where are my intestines? Are they in that area? 472 00:30:33,867 --> 00:30:35,667 I think so. Awesome. 473 00:30:40,533 --> 00:30:41,667 Ugh. 474 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,367 JOHNNY: So are you gonna take some practice shots? 475 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,567 MAN: Pressure. 476 00:30:48,734 --> 00:30:49,967 (GUN FIRES) 477 00:30:50,266 --> 00:30:51,533 MAN: Jesus Christ. 478 00:30:51,567 --> 00:30:52,834 MAN 2: Yeah. 479 00:30:53,133 --> 00:30:54,533 (SHELLS DROPPING) 480 00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:58,233 You know, this is nothing to mess around with. 481 00:30:58,266 --> 00:31:00,033 This is nothing for--for anybody 482 00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:01,934 to just throw into a 12-gauge shotgun 483 00:31:01,967 --> 00:31:04,667 and--and, uh, you know, think that they could take it. 484 00:31:05,066 --> 00:31:07,000 You know, that's one of the reasons I'm doing this 485 00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:09,800 is because I can do this in a controlled state. 486 00:31:11,033 --> 00:31:12,300 (CLAPS HANDS) 487 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,867 Safety's off. 488 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,133 Going hot. 489 00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:33,934 (GUN COCKING) 490 00:31:37,967 --> 00:31:39,266 (GUN FIRES) 491 00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:40,734 (GROANING) 492 00:31:41,934 --> 00:31:42,934 (GROANS) 493 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,033 That really hurt. 494 00:31:53,066 --> 00:31:54,633 BAM: That looked like it hurt. 495 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:56,367 Oh, fuck, dude. 496 00:31:57,367 --> 00:32:01,100 JOHNNY: Did you see the way I caught that beanbag with my stomach? 497 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:02,867 That's instinct. 498 00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:04,633 You can't teach that. 499 00:32:06,333 --> 00:32:07,500 Ah! 500 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,900 It hurts so much. 501 00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:19,767 Like going from a prone position to standing is... 502 00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:23,667 Ouch. 503 00:32:25,734 --> 00:32:28,633 Hi. I'm Wee Man, and this is a big cone. 504 00:32:37,633 --> 00:32:40,333 ♪♪(JAPANESE SONG PLAYING) 505 00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:24,500 Oh, my God, my brakes! 506 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,500 I can't... 507 00:33:26,533 --> 00:33:27,834 My brakes! 508 00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:30,133 My brakes! 509 00:33:30,166 --> 00:33:31,533 My brakes! 510 00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:34,967 Stop me! Stop me! 511 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:38,567 Stop me! 512 00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:41,633 Oh! 513 00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:43,600 You all right? That was so fast! 514 00:33:43,633 --> 00:33:45,066 You all right? Yeah. 515 00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:46,900 You have... Did your brakes go out? 516 00:33:46,934 --> 00:33:48,667 Yeah. The whole thing doesn't work. 517 00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,000 Really? 518 00:33:50,033 --> 00:33:52,300 Will you push me to the top? I wanna do it again. 519 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:56,900 (GRUNTS) 520 00:33:57,100 --> 00:33:59,166 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 521 00:34:00,767 --> 00:34:02,433 (ALL LAUGHING) 522 00:34:05,066 --> 00:34:07,400 I could sure go for a Miller High Life. 523 00:34:16,734 --> 00:34:18,800 Oh, you're in so much trouble. (WHIMPERING) 524 00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:31,233 MAN: Kick her ass! 525 00:34:41,734 --> 00:34:43,700 (CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING) 526 00:34:44,834 --> 00:34:47,100 I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl. 527 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,200 (BELL CLANGING) 528 00:35:05,433 --> 00:35:07,367 Dude, I told you to keep up the left! 529 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,266 Hail to the queen! 530 00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:36,700 That's the winner. That's it. 531 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:40,066 And the winner, and still champion... 532 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:41,633 JOHNNY: Now pronounce her name. 533 00:35:44,266 --> 00:35:45,667 JOHNNY: Look at his bloody mouthpiece. 534 00:35:45,700 --> 00:35:49,200 Oh, God, my jaw is, like, two inches to the left. 535 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,166 RYAN: I--I seriously felt all right for a little bit, 536 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,834 until she punched me in the nose. 537 00:35:53,867 --> 00:35:56,100 I knew she was fighting dirty. 538 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:04,867 Tropical Pole-Vaulting. 539 00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:06,533 ♪♪(CALIFORNIA SUN PLAYING) 540 00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:10,367 Oh, Jesus! 541 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,166 (CROWD WHISTLING AND WHOOPING) 542 00:36:20,867 --> 00:36:22,133 JOHNNY: Go grab the dead kitty. 543 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:25,033 Dude, I've fucking been in there before, dude. It sucks. 544 00:36:26,133 --> 00:36:29,333 ♪ When the days are short and the nights are long ♪ 545 00:36:30,934 --> 00:36:33,467 ♪ And I walk and they walk ♪ 546 00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:36,100 ♪ I twist and they twist ♪ 547 00:36:36,133 --> 00:36:38,633 ♪ And I shimmy and they shimmy ♪ 548 00:36:38,667 --> 00:36:41,233 ♪ And I fly and they fly ♪ 549 00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:43,900 ♪ Well, we're out there having fun ♪ 550 00:36:43,934 --> 00:36:45,834 ♪ In the warm California sun ♪ 551 00:36:45,867 --> 00:36:47,233 (SHOUTING) 552 00:36:47,266 --> 00:36:49,133 ♪ Where they're out there havin' fun ♪ 553 00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:51,367 ♪ In the warm California sun ♪ 554 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,133 ♪ Where they're out there havin' fun ♪ 555 00:36:54,166 --> 00:36:57,166 ♪ In the warm California sun ♪♪ 556 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,967 (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Yeah! Whoo! 557 00:37:06,633 --> 00:37:08,000 (GROANING) 558 00:37:08,033 --> 00:37:09,200 Oh, God! 559 00:37:11,967 --> 00:37:13,500 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGING) 560 00:37:13,767 --> 00:37:15,967 ♪♪(TURNING JAPANESE PLAYING) 561 00:37:22,066 --> 00:37:23,533 (GRUNTING) 562 00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:32,967 ♪ I've got your picture ♪ 563 00:37:33,166 --> 00:37:34,967 ♪ Of me and you ♪ 564 00:37:36,166 --> 00:37:37,800 ♪ You wrote I love you ♪ 565 00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:40,400 ♪ I love you too ♪ 566 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,300 ♪ I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do ♪ 567 00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:46,433 ♪ Oh, it's in color ♪ 568 00:37:46,967 --> 00:37:48,900 ♪ Your hair is brown ♪ 569 00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:51,367 ♪ Your eyes are hazel ♪ 570 00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:53,667 ♪ And soft as clouds ♪ 571 00:37:54,967 --> 00:37:57,867 ♪ I often kiss you when there's no one else around ♪ 572 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,500 (GRUNTING) 573 00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:04,500 ♪ I've got your picture, I've got your picture ♪ 574 00:38:04,533 --> 00:38:07,200 ♪ I'd like a million of you over myself ♪ 575 00:38:07,233 --> 00:38:09,800 ♪ I want a doctor to take your picture ♪ 576 00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,233 ♪ So I can look at you from inside as well ♪ 577 00:38:12,266 --> 00:38:14,367 ♪ You got me turning up and turning down ♪ 578 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,834 ♪ I'm turning in, I'm turning round ♪ 579 00:38:15,867 --> 00:38:17,767 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 580 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,100 ♪ I really think so ♪ 581 00:38:19,533 --> 00:38:20,967 (SCREAMING) 582 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,333 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 583 00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,066 ♪ I really think so ♪ 584 00:38:36,133 --> 00:38:38,734 ♪ I've got your picture, I've got your picture ♪ 585 00:38:38,767 --> 00:38:41,300 ♪ I'd like a million of 'em over myself ♪ 586 00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:43,967 ♪ I want a doctor to take your picture ♪ 587 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,300 ♪ So I can look at you from inside as well ♪ 588 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,600 ♪ I'm turning up, I'm turning down ♪ 589 00:38:48,633 --> 00:38:50,066 ♪ I'm turning in, I'm turning round ♪ 590 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,100 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 591 00:38:52,133 --> 00:38:53,567 ♪ I really think so ♪ 592 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,166 (CHANTING RHYTHMICALLY) 593 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,467 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 594 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,100 ♪ I really think so ♪ 595 00:39:00,467 --> 00:39:02,900 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 596 00:39:02,934 --> 00:39:04,600 ♪ I really think so ♪ 597 00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:05,800 (CHEERING) 598 00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:08,266 ♪ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♪ 599 00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:09,734 ♪ I really think so ♪♪ 600 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,834 Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, 601 00:39:16,867 --> 00:39:20,767 I promise I will get my mom to say "fuck" by the end of this movie. 602 00:39:24,734 --> 00:39:28,433 Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my rocket skates. 603 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,934 Go! 604 00:39:36,433 --> 00:39:37,967 (ROCKETS WHISTLING) 605 00:39:39,266 --> 00:39:41,300 (EXPLODING) 606 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,533 All right, this is rocket skates, take two. 607 00:39:47,934 --> 00:39:50,033 (ROCKETS WHISTLING) 608 00:39:51,233 --> 00:39:52,567 (EXPLODING) 609 00:39:57,333 --> 00:39:59,900 This one's gonna be a little more powerful than the last one, so... 610 00:39:59,934 --> 00:40:01,800 JOHNNY: Why, these are different bottle rockets? 611 00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:03,467 No, there's just more of them. 612 00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:04,700 (ALL LAUGHING) 613 00:40:10,233 --> 00:40:12,066 (ROCKETS WHISTLING) 614 00:40:14,166 --> 00:40:15,667 (EXPLODING) 615 00:40:20,734 --> 00:40:22,200 (GROANING) 616 00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:27,166 (GROANS) 617 00:40:28,734 --> 00:40:30,633 Oh, fuck! What's wrong? 618 00:40:30,934 --> 00:40:34,367 I fell and busted my ass, that's what's fucking wrong. 619 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,166 That's it. No more rocket skates. 620 00:40:47,233 --> 00:40:49,333 ♪♪(THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT PLAYING) 621 00:40:51,567 --> 00:40:54,000 ♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 622 00:40:54,033 --> 00:40:56,333 ♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 623 00:40:56,367 --> 00:40:58,467 ♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 624 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,500 ♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 625 00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:04,033 (RECORD SKIPPING) 626 00:41:05,333 --> 00:41:06,867 (TIRE SCREECHING) 627 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,900 (TIRES SCREECHING) 628 00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:43,767 God, this party sucks! 629 00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:51,133 Hey, my man. Wasabi, lots. 630 00:41:51,367 --> 00:41:52,567 Wasabi. 631 00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:55,767 ALL: Yeah. 632 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,900 So today, I'm gonna treat myself to some wasabi snooters. 633 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,100 God, chopsticks are so stupid. 634 00:42:18,033 --> 00:42:19,567 That looks like a pretty good line, huh? 635 00:42:22,066 --> 00:42:23,367 Whoa! 636 00:42:29,233 --> 00:42:30,367 More. 637 00:42:32,367 --> 00:42:34,133 Do another snooter. 638 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:44,867 I need a pick-me-up. 639 00:42:52,867 --> 00:42:54,800 Dude, on the plate. On the plate. 640 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:10,934 Get him! 641 00:43:13,767 --> 00:43:15,266 Get back here! 642 00:43:15,967 --> 00:43:17,567 I said, "Get back here!" 643 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:21,567 Get... 644 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,500 ♪♪(MADE IN JAPAN PLAYING) 645 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:43,700 ♪ My transistor radio comes from far away ♪ 646 00:43:45,867 --> 00:43:47,600 (THUDDING) ♪ And when it's night over here ♪ 647 00:43:47,633 --> 00:43:49,166 (GROANING) 648 00:43:53,767 --> 00:43:58,233 ♪ I remember all the good times I had a-walking in the sand ♪ 649 00:43:58,266 --> 00:43:59,367 (TEARING) 650 00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:00,967 (JOHNNY LAUGHING) 651 00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,266 ♪ With a beautiful girl that I met made in Japan ♪♪ 652 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:04,934 This is bullshit, man! 653 00:44:14,533 --> 00:44:15,800 Ow! 654 00:44:20,567 --> 00:44:22,100 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 655 00:44:32,066 --> 00:44:34,033 (SNARLING) 656 00:44:36,834 --> 00:44:38,300 (GASPING) 657 00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:41,800 Phil? 658 00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:43,200 Phil? 659 00:44:44,133 --> 00:44:45,233 Phil? 660 00:44:46,166 --> 00:44:47,500 Hey, Phil! 661 00:44:53,333 --> 00:44:54,700 Oh, my God. 662 00:44:57,066 --> 00:44:58,633 APRIL: Is this thing real? 663 00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:00,266 PHIL: What thing? 664 00:45:00,633 --> 00:45:02,633 This alligator! 665 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,033 What? 666 00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:06,667 Look, look, look! Look around the corner. 667 00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:11,967 What is that? Where have you been? 668 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,300 Don't you even look? 669 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,333 (ALLIGATOR HISSES) 670 00:45:15,367 --> 00:45:16,633 (SHRIEKING) 671 00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:19,834 Oh, my God! It's moving. Oh, Phil! 672 00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:23,000 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 673 00:45:23,433 --> 00:45:24,734 PHIL: I don't know what to do now. 674 00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:26,433 Aren't you scared to death? 675 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,834 Ooh, it's so gross that it's even on the floor. 676 00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:33,233 (SCREAMS) 677 00:45:33,633 --> 00:45:36,100 I'm going out! I'm leaving! Where's my keys? 678 00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:39,533 That is the scariest fucking thing I ever saw in my whole life! 679 00:45:39,567 --> 00:45:40,800 APRIL: I'm leaving. 680 00:45:40,834 --> 00:45:42,200 PHIL: Don't leave. Where the hell you going? 681 00:45:42,233 --> 00:45:43,867 I'm leaving. I swear to God! 682 00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:47,100 Phil, seriously, please. Help! Help me get this thing out of here! 683 00:45:47,133 --> 00:45:48,767 I'm scared to death! 684 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,600 Oh, God! 685 00:45:55,633 --> 00:45:57,200 (ALL LAUGHING) 686 00:45:58,333 --> 00:45:59,633 Oh, man. 687 00:45:59,667 --> 00:46:01,700 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) APRIL: No! No! 688 00:46:01,734 --> 00:46:05,233 No, I'm not letting in the... No, no! God, where is it? 689 00:46:05,266 --> 00:46:07,834 Oh, please! You don't have it, do you? WOMAN: No, we don't have it. 690 00:46:07,867 --> 00:46:09,500 (SCREAMING) It's not there? 691 00:46:09,533 --> 00:46:11,533 Like, seriously, is that real? 692 00:46:11,567 --> 00:46:13,300 I'm serious. Is it real? 693 00:46:13,633 --> 00:46:15,367 Is it real? Is it real? 694 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,700 WOMAN: Yes. (SHRIEKS) 695 00:46:16,734 --> 00:46:18,700 I'm serious, get everybody out! 696 00:46:18,734 --> 00:46:19,934 (BAM LAUGHING) 697 00:46:24,934 --> 00:46:26,367 (BUZZING) 698 00:46:27,133 --> 00:46:30,066 JOHNNY: Dude, dude. Wait. Stop! Chill, dude. 699 00:46:31,133 --> 00:46:33,433 BAM: Whiz kid kicked your ass, dude. 700 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:35,767 I didn't even get you. 701 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,500 You got beat up by Wee Man. 702 00:46:37,734 --> 00:46:39,767 Dude. Let me see. 703 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,200 He didn't even get you. 704 00:46:41,233 --> 00:46:43,266 JOHNNY: Where? I didn't even... He didn't even get you. 705 00:46:45,767 --> 00:46:47,533 CAMERAMAN: Let me see the back of your head. 706 00:46:48,734 --> 00:46:49,900 Oh, dude. 707 00:46:49,934 --> 00:46:51,266 It'll be all right. 708 00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:55,233 I'm here with Eric Koston and Clyde Singleton, 709 00:46:55,266 --> 00:46:58,734 and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail, and... 710 00:46:59,033 --> 00:47:00,233 Or try to. 711 00:47:00,266 --> 00:47:01,433 ERIC: So, this thing's long. 712 00:47:01,467 --> 00:47:03,800 Yeah, thanks. Thanks for reminding me. 713 00:47:05,433 --> 00:47:06,800 You got it. 714 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,233 I got it. I got this. 715 00:47:13,266 --> 00:47:14,567 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 716 00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,100 CAMERAMAN: Dude, is he gonna go? Yeah. 717 00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,533 Is he gonna go? He's gonna go somewhere. 718 00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:21,700 He's going. He's going, yeah. 719 00:47:22,467 --> 00:47:25,300 My impression of Johnny Knoxville. Something like this. 720 00:47:27,867 --> 00:47:29,133 "Oh, my face!" 721 00:47:30,066 --> 00:47:33,367 I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm gonna grind this rail. 722 00:47:36,133 --> 00:47:37,667 Ready, set, go! 723 00:47:42,900 --> 00:47:44,300 (GASPING) 724 00:47:45,233 --> 00:47:49,133 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 725 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,266 He made it all the way down. 726 00:47:51,300 --> 00:47:52,767 ERIC: I can't believe he got that far. 727 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,100 CLYDE: You made it to the fucking bottom! 728 00:47:54,133 --> 00:47:55,533 I can't believe he got that far. 729 00:47:55,567 --> 00:47:57,400 I can't believe... I can't 730 00:48:16,467 --> 00:48:18,100 (QUACKING) 731 00:48:19,633 --> 00:48:20,967 This is the Paper Cuts. 732 00:48:21,233 --> 00:48:23,834 I'm getting paper cuts between the webbings of my fingers 733 00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:25,633 and the webbings of my toes. RYAN: Hold it still. 734 00:48:25,667 --> 00:48:26,834 There's no good way to do it. 735 00:48:28,133 --> 00:48:29,166 Yeah, I know. So just deal with it. Take a... Take a breath. 736 00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:32,367 (JOHNNY SHRIEKING) 737 00:48:39,066 --> 00:48:40,900 Oh, you can feel when it goes in. 738 00:48:40,934 --> 00:48:43,700 Oh, give me... This one works good, give me the next one. 739 00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:45,367 CAMERAMAN: Do it. Do it. 740 00:48:45,767 --> 00:48:47,767 (SPUTTERING) 741 00:48:49,066 --> 00:48:50,433 (ALL SHOUTING) 742 00:48:50,467 --> 00:48:52,166 STEVE-O: Oh, yeah, opened up with a good one. 743 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:53,900 CHRIS: Did you hear that? 744 00:48:53,934 --> 00:48:56,734 JOHNNY: Oh, that was my flesh! Oh, shit. 745 00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:59,166 If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot. 746 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,233 That's a good point. 747 00:49:01,266 --> 00:49:02,600 Take a deep breath. 748 00:49:11,033 --> 00:49:13,266 Lance is trying... Are you gonna puke? 749 00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:14,934 Don't, Lance, there's so many places for you to 750 00:49:14,967 --> 00:49:16,500 Watch Lance pass out. Lance is gonna puke! 751 00:49:16,533 --> 00:49:18,900 JOHNNY: From what, the pepperoni or the paper cuts? 752 00:49:18,934 --> 00:49:20,066 (ALL RETCHING) Both? 753 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:21,633 The pepperoni. 754 00:49:23,033 --> 00:49:25,033 It's good! With pig entrails. 755 00:49:33,900 --> 00:49:35,533 Is he okay? I don't know. 756 00:49:35,567 --> 00:49:37,500 Wait, is he all right? BAM: Lance, are you all right? 757 00:49:37,533 --> 00:49:39,433 Medic! Hey, don't knock over the beer. 758 00:49:39,467 --> 00:49:40,800 Dude, are you okay? 759 00:49:40,834 --> 00:49:42,133 Yeah, I'm fine. 760 00:49:42,367 --> 00:49:43,667 CAMERAMAN: And get him in a cold room. 761 00:49:43,700 --> 00:49:45,333 This is the greatest bit ever. 762 00:49:45,967 --> 00:49:48,200 Steve-O, if you want to do some more, do it. I'm done. 763 00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:52,266 RYAN: Is everybody ready? Yeah. 764 00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,767 See the look on his face? 765 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,633 MAN: Do one more. Do it again. 766 00:49:57,667 --> 00:49:58,934 That sucked. 767 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,133 God, am I glad I came down to see what was going on in this room. 768 00:50:13,467 --> 00:50:15,400 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) Mmm-hmm. 769 00:50:18,633 --> 00:50:20,066 Wait a minute. 770 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:22,734 I know what my fortune is. It's partying. 771 00:50:22,767 --> 00:50:24,600 ♪♪(PARTY BOY THEME PLAYING) 772 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,367 This is Sweaty Fat Fucks. 773 00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:49,734 ♪♪(BABY GOT BACK PLAYING) 774 00:50:50,567 --> 00:50:53,133 ♪ I like big butts and I cannot lie ♪ 775 00:50:53,166 --> 00:50:55,033 ♪ You other brothers can't deny ♪ 776 00:50:55,066 --> 00:50:57,233 ♪ That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist ♪ 777 00:50:57,266 --> 00:50:59,600 (WHOOPING) ♪ And a round thing in your face you get sprung ♪ 778 00:50:59,633 --> 00:51:02,834 ♪ wanna pull up front, cuz I notice that butt was stuffed ♪ 779 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:04,600 ♪ Deep in the jeans she's wearin' ♪ 780 00:51:04,633 --> 00:51:07,400 ♪ I'm hooked and I can't stop starin', oh, baby ♪ 781 00:51:07,433 --> 00:51:10,233 ♪ I wanna get wit ya and take your picture ♪ 782 00:51:10,266 --> 00:51:11,900 ♪ My homeboys tried to warn me ♪ 783 00:51:11,934 --> 00:51:14,200 ♪ But that butt you got makes me so horny ♪ 784 00:51:14,233 --> 00:51:15,900 ♪ Ooh, rump of smooth skin ♪ 785 00:51:15,934 --> 00:51:17,700 ♪ You say you wanna get in my Benz ♪ 786 00:51:17,734 --> 00:51:19,500 ♪ Well, use me, use me ♪ 787 00:51:19,533 --> 00:51:20,834 ♪ 'Cuz you ain't that average groupie ♪ 788 00:51:20,867 --> 00:51:22,166 (GROANING) 789 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,166 ♪ I want 'em real thick and juicy ♪ 790 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,000 ♪ So find that juicy double ♪ 791 00:51:26,033 --> 00:51:28,800 ♪ Mix-A-Lot's in trouble, beggin' for a piece of that bubble ♪ 792 00:51:28,834 --> 00:51:30,934 ♪ So I'm lookin' at rock videos ♪ 793 00:51:30,967 --> 00:51:32,800 ♪ Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hos ♪ 794 00:51:32,834 --> 00:51:34,500 ♪ You can have them bimbos ♪ 795 00:51:34,533 --> 00:51:36,266 ♪ I'll keep my women like Flo Jo ♪ 796 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:38,200 ♪ So your girlfriend rolls a Honda ♪ 797 00:51:38,233 --> 00:51:40,066 ♪ Playin' workout tapes by Fonda ♪ 798 00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,800 ♪ But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda ♪ 799 00:51:42,834 --> 00:51:47,333 ♪ My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon ♪ 800 00:51:47,367 --> 00:51:49,033 ♪ You can do side bends or sit-ups ♪ 801 00:51:49,066 --> 00:51:51,200 (WHOOPING) ♪ But please don't lose that butt ♪ 802 00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:53,266 ♪ Some brothers wanna play that hard role ♪ 803 00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:54,867 ♪ And tell you that the butt ain't gold ♪ 804 00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:57,033 ♪ So they toss it and leave it ♪ 805 00:51:57,066 --> 00:51:58,667 ♪ And I pull up quick to retrieve it ♪ 806 00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:00,700 ♪ So, ladies, if the butt is round ♪ 807 00:52:00,734 --> 00:52:02,533 ♪ And you want a triple-x throw down ♪ 808 00:52:02,567 --> 00:52:05,934 ♪ Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT, and kick them nasty thoughts ♪ 809 00:52:05,967 --> 00:52:07,400 ♪ Baby got back ♪ 810 00:52:13,033 --> 00:52:14,834 ♪ Baby got back ♪♪ 811 00:52:22,734 --> 00:52:25,100 Oh, honey, it's been a while. 812 00:52:25,133 --> 00:52:26,300 It's a little too much. 813 00:52:26,333 --> 00:52:27,433 No, I... 814 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,033 Irving, you think you can do it? 815 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,700 Do you want a spot? No, I got it. No, I got it. 816 00:52:36,734 --> 00:52:38,133 You got it? Yeah, yeah. 817 00:52:38,166 --> 00:52:39,900 If you need a spot, just give me a call. Okay. 818 00:52:44,767 --> 00:52:46,133 (GRUNTING) 819 00:52:46,567 --> 00:52:49,367 (COUGHING) 820 00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:55,000 What's the quickest you ever knocked anyone out? 821 00:52:55,033 --> 00:52:56,800 I hold the California state record. 822 00:52:56,834 --> 00:52:59,533 It's like 18 seconds, including the 10 count. 823 00:52:59,567 --> 00:53:00,867 ♪♪(WE WANT FUN PLAYING) 824 00:53:00,900 --> 00:53:02,033 ♪ I took it to the jaw ♪ 825 00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:04,800 ♪ One, two, three, there was never a doubt ♪ 826 00:53:04,834 --> 00:53:07,300 ♪ We want fun, and you better believe it ♪ 827 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:09,934 ♪ We want fun, yeah, you better believe it ♪ 828 00:53:09,967 --> 00:53:12,367 ♪ We want fun, no, you don't understand ♪ 829 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,166 ♪ Fun, fun, fun, fun, make your demands ♪ 830 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,433 ♪ We want fun and you might as well face it ♪ 831 00:53:17,467 --> 00:53:20,400 ♪ We want fun and we want to get wasted! ♪♪ 832 00:53:20,433 --> 00:53:22,233 I think you're gonna break that today. 833 00:53:23,100 --> 00:53:24,400 I'm Johnny Knoxville. 834 00:53:24,433 --> 00:53:25,734 And I'm Butterbean. 835 00:53:25,767 --> 00:53:27,700 Today we're gonna do a little boxing. 836 00:53:43,700 --> 00:53:45,800 All right, you guys. Touch gloves and come out fighting. 837 00:53:45,834 --> 00:53:47,200 (BELL DINGS) 838 00:53:51,767 --> 00:53:53,667 (JOHNNY GROANING) 839 00:54:01,467 --> 00:54:03,667 Get up! Come on, Butter. 840 00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:05,300 One more time. (JOHNNY GIGGLING) 841 00:54:06,166 --> 00:54:07,967 This is the last time you're kicking my ass. 842 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,567 One more time. More pain. That's it. 843 00:54:14,133 --> 00:54:15,633 You haven't even... Hit me once, at least. 844 00:54:15,667 --> 00:54:17,166 There you go. (JOHNNY GIGGLING) 845 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,200 (GRUNTING) 846 00:54:19,233 --> 00:54:20,400 That's it. 847 00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:24,834 MAN: Is there a problem? 848 00:54:25,033 --> 00:54:27,333 (SNORING) 849 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,500 (GROANING) He's out. 850 00:54:40,734 --> 00:54:42,266 Is Butterbean okay? 851 00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:49,133 WOMAN: Look at this. 852 00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:56,333 And by knockout in the first round, new champion, Butterbean! 853 00:54:56,367 --> 00:54:57,867 Whoo! Yeah! 854 00:54:58,767 --> 00:55:00,900 BAM: Where we going, Knoxville? 855 00:55:00,934 --> 00:55:02,600 The hospital. 856 00:55:03,233 --> 00:55:04,600 What the hell are we doing that for? 857 00:55:04,633 --> 00:55:06,967 I don't know. Apparently I have a big gash in my head, 858 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,767 and I think I'm a little concussed. 859 00:55:10,467 --> 00:55:12,000 Are you giving me a shot? 860 00:55:12,033 --> 00:55:13,166 DR. KIPPER: Yeah. 861 00:55:14,266 --> 00:55:15,667 Are you okay? Mmm-hmm. 862 00:55:15,700 --> 00:55:18,200 We got one more to go, buddy. Yes, sir. 863 00:55:18,233 --> 00:55:19,567 Then you're a free man. 864 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,867 Thank you. 865 00:55:21,066 --> 00:55:24,767 You're gonna be not feeling great the next 24 hours. 866 00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:26,333 Thank you, Dr. Kipper. Okay. 867 00:55:27,834 --> 00:55:29,433 You'll probably see me in two to three days. See you in a couple of days. 868 00:55:31,367 --> 00:55:34,033 (YELLING INDISTINCTLY) 869 00:55:36,567 --> 00:55:38,433 Hey! Hey! Hey! 870 00:55:41,233 --> 00:55:44,467 God damn it! What are you doing? Hey! Get off, man! 871 00:55:44,500 --> 00:55:45,934 What's going on here? 872 00:55:45,967 --> 00:55:47,767 Get off! Get off! 873 00:56:01,100 --> 00:56:04,166 We're in Okinawa and we're about to go swim with some whale sharks. 874 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:08,266 But first, we need to go rub one out. 875 00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:16,767 GARY: Well, I made the mistake of showing them 876 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,533 what sea cucumbers do when they're threatened. 877 00:56:19,567 --> 00:56:22,700 And that is, you know, as soon as something touches them, 878 00:56:23,100 --> 00:56:26,600 these white threads come out of the end of it, 879 00:56:27,133 --> 00:56:31,233 and Steve-O and Chris thought it was a great idea. 880 00:56:31,266 --> 00:56:33,233 So, they're out there trying to, uh... 881 00:56:33,266 --> 00:56:34,834 CAMERAMAN: Masturbate? Masturbate. Yeah. 882 00:56:34,867 --> 00:56:37,066 So, anyway, I--I apologize. 883 00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:38,500 (LAUGHING) 884 00:56:42,934 --> 00:56:44,800 STEVE-O: This is the Whale Shark Gummer. 885 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,834 With a simple shave of the razor, 886 00:56:48,867 --> 00:56:51,233 Steve-O easily disguises himself 887 00:56:51,266 --> 00:56:54,367 to fool the whale sharks into thinking he's a harmless young boy. 888 00:56:56,266 --> 00:56:57,900 I am pretty nervous about my wiener 889 00:56:57,934 --> 00:56:59,533 around that whale shark. I really am. 890 00:56:59,567 --> 00:57:01,266 GARY: Now, the best way to think of the whale sharks 891 00:57:01,300 --> 00:57:02,934 is they're like big puppy dogs. 892 00:57:03,633 --> 00:57:05,633 Uh, sometimes puppies bite. 893 00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:07,367 Yeah, but they have little teeth. 894 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,867 Puppies, they have little teeth. Little teeth. 895 00:57:08,900 --> 00:57:10,433 You're gonna get a gummer. 896 00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:13,934 All right. So, it's kind of like being with a gal with no teeth. 897 00:57:13,967 --> 00:57:15,233 Kind of, yes. Yeah. 898 00:57:15,934 --> 00:57:17,667 STEVE-O: So right below in these waters, 899 00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,233 30-foot whale sharks are waiting to eat 900 00:57:20,266 --> 00:57:22,200 these freaking shrimp out of our crotches. 901 00:57:22,233 --> 00:57:23,166 Okay. 902 00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,100 (WHIMPERING) 903 00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,600 Oh, they're kind of... They pinch. 904 00:57:32,633 --> 00:57:33,967 Are these alive? 905 00:57:36,734 --> 00:57:38,000 They don't feel good on the way... 906 00:57:38,033 --> 00:57:39,300 You're part of this, man. 907 00:57:40,900 --> 00:57:42,367 Look at this shrimp. 908 00:57:48,300 --> 00:57:50,200 I guess I don't really have any last words. 909 00:57:50,233 --> 00:57:52,266 I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener. 910 00:57:52,300 --> 00:57:53,934 ♪♪(CHA CHA TWIST PLAYING) 911 00:57:53,967 --> 00:57:55,667 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 912 00:57:55,700 --> 00:57:57,734 ♪ Let's do the twist ♪ 913 00:57:59,834 --> 00:58:02,300 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 914 00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,200 ♪ Let's do the twist ♪ 915 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:06,700 (BOTH LAUGHING) 916 00:58:07,333 --> 00:58:09,300 ♪ You look fine, yeah ♪ 917 00:58:10,033 --> 00:58:12,500 ♪ When you go like this ♪ 918 00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:14,367 (GROANS) 919 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,533 ♪ Tell me, baby ♪ 920 00:58:17,667 --> 00:58:20,066 (GROANING) ♪ Have you seen my sis? ♪ 921 00:58:21,734 --> 00:58:24,266 ♪ Tell me, baby ♪ 922 00:58:24,834 --> 00:58:27,133 ♪ Have you seen my sis? ♪ 923 00:58:27,166 --> 00:58:28,533 (YELLING) 924 00:58:28,567 --> 00:58:30,433 ♪ She knows how to rock ♪ 925 00:58:30,467 --> 00:58:31,867 (SCREAMING) 926 00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:33,834 ♪ And do the cha-cha twist ♪ 927 00:58:33,867 --> 00:58:35,100 ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 928 00:58:35,133 --> 00:58:38,333 ♪ Yeah, cha-cha-cha ♪ 929 00:58:39,133 --> 00:58:42,333 ♪ Whoa, baby, cha-cha-cha ♪♪ 930 00:58:43,867 --> 00:58:46,333 My penis is really small now. 931 00:58:48,533 --> 00:58:50,400 I can't really look cool right now. 932 00:58:56,934 --> 00:58:58,200 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 933 00:58:58,233 --> 00:59:00,700 Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville. This is the Tidal Wave. 934 00:59:01,166 --> 00:59:02,400 (CLANGING) 935 00:59:10,066 --> 00:59:11,367 (LANCE LAUGHING) 936 00:59:12,533 --> 00:59:13,567 How'd it look? 937 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:14,700 It looked good. 938 00:59:18,967 --> 00:59:21,467 You just got drenched. 939 00:59:22,567 --> 00:59:23,934 (JOHNNY LAUGHING) 940 00:59:26,266 --> 00:59:28,633 I don't even, like, pick a tattoo, like, 941 00:59:28,667 --> 00:59:32,333 unless I'm pretty sure that people are gonna laugh every time they see it. 942 00:59:33,667 --> 00:59:34,967 CAMERAMAN: Oh, my God, dude. 943 00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,000 (ALL LAUGHING) 944 00:59:44,033 --> 00:59:48,066 Like, how do you perform the fucking world's dumbest tattoo? 945 00:59:49,767 --> 00:59:52,500 Fuck, man. At least I don't have to look at it, right? 946 00:59:57,967 --> 01:00:02,533 My name is Henry Rollins and this is Off-Road Tattoo. 947 01:00:04,467 --> 01:00:05,867 (BUZZING) 948 01:00:07,567 --> 01:00:09,133 Yeah! 949 01:00:09,166 --> 01:00:10,400 (LAUGHING) 950 01:00:10,433 --> 01:00:13,066 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 951 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,433 This was designed to fuck you up! 952 01:00:34,300 --> 01:00:36,800 (ALL SHOUTING) 953 01:00:36,834 --> 01:00:38,633 You Christian motherfucker! 954 01:00:48,066 --> 01:00:49,400 Ah! 955 01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:55,100 It's a total smiley face, dude. 956 01:00:58,266 --> 01:00:59,867 (ENGINE REVVING) 957 01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,133 (METAL SCREECHING) 958 01:01:17,433 --> 01:01:18,800 (BUZZING) 959 01:01:22,100 --> 01:01:25,033 I just fully got a haircut just, like, a week ago. 960 01:01:25,066 --> 01:01:26,667 CAMERAMAN: You're about to get many more. 961 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,867 Yeah, me, too. I am not doing it. 962 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:39,233 (BUZZING) 963 01:01:39,266 --> 01:01:40,533 (ALL LAUGHING) 964 01:01:41,633 --> 01:01:43,133 LANCE: Look at Ehren. 965 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,166 (GROANING) 966 01:01:46,734 --> 01:01:48,000 Oh, shit! 967 01:01:50,367 --> 01:01:53,066 So, we're finding it a little bit chilly in Japan. 968 01:01:53,100 --> 01:01:55,734 We're gonna warm ourselves up with some fireworks. 969 01:02:00,367 --> 01:02:01,767 Let's go, dude. 970 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,900 CAMERAMAN: Roll back there, just a bit. 971 01:02:03,934 --> 01:02:06,800 CAMERAMAN: Oh, no! This is a bad angle. Switch. 972 01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:08,867 JOHNNY: Oh, no, no, no. 973 01:02:10,667 --> 01:02:12,033 Let's see. 974 01:02:12,433 --> 01:02:13,533 Ow! 975 01:02:13,567 --> 01:02:14,633 (ALL GIGGLING) 976 01:02:15,867 --> 01:02:18,600 (ALL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 977 01:02:21,166 --> 01:02:23,633 Like, an ember fell right in my corn hole, dude. 978 01:02:25,133 --> 01:02:26,934 Double knot it but gently. 979 01:02:32,100 --> 01:02:33,533 (LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) 980 01:02:46,867 --> 01:02:49,033 You may think this next stunt is impossible. 981 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,400 CAMERAMAN: You gotta squat a little, Pontius. 982 01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,867 JOHNNY: Every time! 983 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:58,433 MAN: Is Chris' dick shorter or... 984 01:02:58,467 --> 01:03:00,000 STEVE-O: Yeah, it's a little shorter. 985 01:03:06,367 --> 01:03:08,133 Keep it in! Hold it! 986 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:10,066 Stick 987 01:03:10,467 --> 01:03:12,266 (ALL LAUGHING) 988 01:03:14,133 --> 01:03:16,233 It almost hit Loomis in the face. 989 01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:27,033 (SIGHING) 990 01:03:27,066 --> 01:03:29,800 God damn, this is the BMX Tug-of-War. 991 01:03:29,834 --> 01:03:31,300 ♪♪(LET'S GET FUCKED UP PLAYING) 992 01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:33,200 ♪ Let's get fucked up ♪ Fuck! 993 01:03:34,867 --> 01:03:36,500 ♪ Let's get fucked up ♪ 994 01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,033 What a dumb-ass idea. 995 01:03:46,667 --> 01:03:48,934 I'm surrounded by cacti. 996 01:03:49,767 --> 01:03:51,767 For fuck's sake. MAN: Dude, it's a cactus. 997 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,166 It's cacti! 998 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,600 It's cactus. 999 01:03:54,633 --> 01:03:56,500 Whatever it is, it hurts. 1000 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:04,000 (HORN HONKING) 1001 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:16,734 You wanna get up and cross? 1002 01:04:28,333 --> 01:04:29,934 This is the Yellow Snow Cone. 1003 01:04:31,834 --> 01:04:33,533 Pack it in there nice and tight. 1004 01:04:40,066 --> 01:04:43,033 Little cold out here. It might take a second. Oh! There we go. 1005 01:04:47,900 --> 01:04:50,667 CHRIS: I'm not even worried about the pee, I'm just worried about it 1006 01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:52,133 JOHNNY: Come on, you're missing the cone, dude! 1007 01:04:52,166 --> 01:04:54,633 I'm sorry. You're missing the cone! 1008 01:04:57,967 --> 01:04:59,500 CHRIS: You better eat that whole thing, too. 1009 01:04:59,533 --> 01:05:01,300 You gotta go eat that spot, too. 1010 01:05:01,333 --> 01:05:02,867 BAM: The male bonding... 1011 01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:06,000 Enjoy the snow cone. 1012 01:05:07,066 --> 01:05:09,200 WEE MAN: Oh, you just wasted a whole bunch! 1013 01:05:09,633 --> 01:05:12,567 CAMERAMAN: Just get that whole mouthful, right there. Keep going. 1014 01:05:14,567 --> 01:05:15,900 Keep going! Eat it! 1015 01:05:15,934 --> 01:05:17,166 Come on, it's your pee. Dude, swallow it! 1016 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:18,433 WEEMAN: Oh, come on. 1017 01:05:18,467 --> 01:05:20,000 Hey, I'm trying. It's so cold. 1018 01:05:20,033 --> 01:05:21,600 Swallow it! Swallow it! 1019 01:05:22,567 --> 01:05:23,900 Oh, God. 1020 01:05:23,934 --> 01:05:25,233 Eat it! Eat it! 1021 01:05:25,266 --> 01:05:26,767 Swallow it, man! Don't... No, no. 1022 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,000 Oh, no. Oh, no puking. 1023 01:05:28,033 --> 01:05:29,233 I'm doing it! 1024 01:05:29,266 --> 01:05:30,467 Don't look at it. 1025 01:05:33,567 --> 01:05:34,934 BAM: Dude, it's dripping out of the bottom. 1026 01:05:34,967 --> 01:05:36,367 Will you catch that, what's dripping out the bottom? 1027 01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:43,166 Oh, my God! 1028 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,100 Oh, my God! 1029 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:55,367 BAM: That sucked. 1030 01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:59,033 JOHNNY: Kick yourself in the head, Wee Man. 1031 01:05:59,066 --> 01:06:01,200 This guy. He'll do anything just to look better. 1032 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:31,633 (FAN BLOWING) 1033 01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:59,433 No, get away. Now what is? 1034 01:06:59,667 --> 01:07:03,133 Are you starting to lose your mind on that shit? Bam, stop it! 1035 01:07:03,533 --> 01:07:05,734 Now, you're getting crazy on this shit. 1036 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:09,233 Ape! 1037 01:07:10,166 --> 01:07:11,867 He's starting to lose it! 1038 01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:14,967 Jesus Christ! 1039 01:07:17,133 --> 01:07:19,133 Ape, I need toilet paper! 1040 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,767 Okay, this is called the Golf Course Airhorn. 1041 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:26,567 When people tee off, when they're coming down with their, uh, swing, 1042 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:28,500 we're gonna blow these airhorns. 1043 01:07:29,066 --> 01:07:30,667 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1044 01:07:32,367 --> 01:07:33,734 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1045 01:07:33,767 --> 01:07:35,500 (JOHNNY SNICKERING) 1046 01:07:43,934 --> 01:07:45,266 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1047 01:07:45,767 --> 01:07:47,967 DIMITRY: Here she goes again. JOHNNY: No. Is it another one? 1048 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:49,467 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1049 01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:51,467 DAVE: She still hit it really good. 1050 01:07:59,133 --> 01:08:00,300 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1051 01:08:04,033 --> 01:08:05,033 (JOHNNY LAUGHING) 1052 01:08:12,133 --> 01:08:13,767 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1053 01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,233 JOHNNY: Holy shit. 1054 01:08:18,967 --> 01:08:21,266 What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? 1055 01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:23,467 JOHNNY: Here, you've lost your club. Sorry. 1056 01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:26,367 Didn't I tell you I was gonna come over here and kick your ass for that? 1057 01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,767 What? I'm sorry. I got bursitis. 1058 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:30,633 You got bursitis? Yeah. 1059 01:08:30,834 --> 01:08:32,934 So, that means you gotta play with a horn? It helps. 1060 01:08:32,967 --> 01:08:34,700 I'll give you something to play with, pal. 1061 01:08:34,967 --> 01:08:36,633 Sorry. It won't happen again. 1062 01:08:44,367 --> 01:08:45,834 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1063 01:08:53,467 --> 01:08:55,367 JOHNNY: Oh, fuck! DAVE: Shit. He's teeing off! 1064 01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:57,100 Get down! Get down! Oh, shit! 1065 01:09:03,333 --> 01:09:04,767 Get back. Get down, get down. 1066 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,100 DIMITRY: Watch this! Wait. Wait. 1067 01:09:06,133 --> 01:09:07,333 DAVE: Get down, Dimitry. 1068 01:09:07,367 --> 01:09:08,934 (AIR HORN BLARES) 1069 01:09:14,433 --> 01:09:16,133 (HISSING) 1070 01:09:16,834 --> 01:09:18,834 (LAUGHING) 1071 01:09:21,033 --> 01:09:22,734 (GRUNTS) 1072 01:09:22,767 --> 01:09:24,667 JOHNNY: Oh, these things are scary. 1073 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,233 I'm Bam Margera. I'm Johnny Knoxville. 1074 01:09:30,266 --> 01:09:32,200 And we're gonna be burglars today. 1075 01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:43,166 JOHNNY: Oh, God! 1076 01:09:43,834 --> 01:09:45,166 Fuck! Get the diamonds! 1077 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,867 Dude, I told you not to fall off the damn beam. 1078 01:09:47,900 --> 01:09:49,467 Turn around! Turn around! 1079 01:09:49,500 --> 01:09:50,600 Fuck! 1080 01:09:54,734 --> 01:09:56,400 LANCE: Oh, holy fuck! 1081 01:09:58,467 --> 01:10:00,066 JOHNNY: Idiot! What the fuck is that? 1082 01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:03,800 JOHNNY: Go! 1083 01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,033 LANCE: Holy fuck! 1084 01:10:07,467 --> 01:10:10,000 (LANCE LAUGHING) 1085 01:10:10,734 --> 01:10:13,066 CAMERAMAN: You all right? You okay? 1086 01:10:13,100 --> 01:10:14,533 I'm good. I'm good. 1087 01:10:15,266 --> 01:10:17,500 What'd you think happened right there? It's embarrassing. 1088 01:10:17,533 --> 01:10:19,433 I was barely halfway through the ceiling, 1089 01:10:19,467 --> 01:10:20,967 and you were already out the door. 1090 01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:24,066 You were really sprinting. 1091 01:10:25,066 --> 01:10:27,200 Really, guys in masks, I'm out. 1092 01:10:27,233 --> 01:10:29,767 I don't play. I don't play. 1093 01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:36,500 Is there any actual, like, real reason 1094 01:10:36,533 --> 01:10:38,967 why anyone would shove something up their ass like this? 1095 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,367 No. I'm claiming predictions for this event. 1096 01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:43,567 CHRIS: Where's Ryan? Did you make them? 1097 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:45,367 Number one, it's not getting in there. 1098 01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:48,000 Number two, even if it does, it's not staying in there. 1099 01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:49,834 Definitely no sitting down happening. 1100 01:10:49,867 --> 01:10:53,567 Number three, there's no way they're gonna believe that this is true. 1101 01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,600 So, you're saying it's... 1102 01:10:55,834 --> 01:10:59,934 I'm saying there's nothing I want more than for this to happen, but... 1103 01:10:59,967 --> 01:11:01,633 You don't want it to happen that much. 1104 01:11:01,834 --> 01:11:05,166 No, I really do. This is our original talent for this piece, by the way. 1105 01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:06,633 Yeah. I think that... 1106 01:11:06,967 --> 01:11:09,333 It's one of the first things I think I've ever seen you duck out on. 1107 01:11:09,367 --> 01:11:12,000 Oh, man, I am so glad I turned this idea down. 1108 01:11:12,033 --> 01:11:13,800 I'm so glad. 1109 01:11:16,633 --> 01:11:19,400 I'll probably use all of this before the end of the segment. 1110 01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:23,834 Uh, what else we got? 1111 01:11:24,066 --> 01:11:25,967 A condom. Thank you. 1112 01:11:27,367 --> 01:11:30,400 And, um, a little toy car. 1113 01:11:30,734 --> 01:11:32,367 Blue, it's my favorite color. 1114 01:11:34,734 --> 01:11:36,133 (LANCE) Let me see that. Dangle it. 1115 01:11:37,633 --> 01:11:38,800 (LANCE LAUGHING) 1116 01:11:39,100 --> 01:11:40,767 Look at the reservoir tip. 1117 01:11:42,233 --> 01:11:43,900 Now I'm lubing up... 1118 01:11:43,934 --> 01:11:45,400 CAMERAMAN: I can't see the car, Ryan. 1119 01:11:45,633 --> 01:11:49,333 ...the little toy car, because I'm going to put it in my butt. 1120 01:11:49,533 --> 01:11:51,333 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1121 01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:55,700 Be comfortable. 1122 01:11:56,767 --> 01:11:58,567 Hey, Ed's here for rescuing, dude. 1123 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:00,767 You're here for making it a problem. 1124 01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,100 RYAN: All right, you're gonna watch this? 1125 01:12:03,133 --> 01:12:04,934 You're making me uncomfortable. Sorry. 1126 01:12:04,967 --> 01:12:06,867 I gotta get another job. 1127 01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:08,200 STEVE-O: Lube up your corn hole. 1128 01:12:08,233 --> 01:12:09,700 I am. I'm spackling. 1129 01:12:10,734 --> 01:12:12,300 BAM: "Spackling." 1130 01:12:12,333 --> 01:12:13,834 Heart rate's going up for sure! 1131 01:12:13,867 --> 01:12:14,967 Oh, dude, it hurts. 1132 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,600 Your adrenaline's flowing, isn't it? 1133 01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:19,300 There's no getting around it, it fucking hurts like hell. 1134 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,667 Come on in, Manny. 1135 01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:22,367 You're just in time, Manny. 1136 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:25,433 RYAN: Oh, Manny. Tell me I'm a man. 1137 01:12:26,934 --> 01:12:28,200 STEVE-O: Hey, man, he's got it... 1138 01:12:28,233 --> 01:12:30,033 It feels so goddamn gross. 1139 01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:35,400 This is totally insane. 1140 01:12:35,433 --> 01:12:36,433 It's in, dude. 1141 01:12:37,433 --> 01:12:38,600 It's in? Yeah. 1142 01:12:38,633 --> 01:12:40,166 Let's see. Oh, fuck! 1143 01:12:40,734 --> 01:12:43,333 I feel like I have to shit my ass. 1144 01:12:43,367 --> 01:12:45,100 STEVE-O: Is there anything in tap? 1145 01:12:48,867 --> 01:12:50,900 BAM: You said that you didn't want to do it 1146 01:12:50,934 --> 01:12:53,100 because your dad would disown you? 1147 01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:54,533 Well, I mean, it wasn't that. 1148 01:12:54,567 --> 01:12:57,066 You drank wine off of a dude's ass crack. 1149 01:12:57,100 --> 01:13:01,133 My dad never saw that. I never told him that, you know. 1150 01:13:01,567 --> 01:13:03,667 I was gonna do this and I was like, "Dad" 1151 01:13:03,700 --> 01:13:06,934 I was like, "Dad, we're going hard these days, 1152 01:13:06,967 --> 01:13:09,300 "and there's some ideas floating around." 1153 01:13:09,333 --> 01:13:11,500 I just mentioned the--the car in the butt. 1154 01:13:11,533 --> 01:13:15,166 My dad, like... The only time in my life I ever heard my dad, like... 1155 01:13:15,433 --> 01:13:16,900 You know, it's like when your parents say, 1156 01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:20,233 "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed," you know. 1157 01:13:20,266 --> 01:13:23,033 Like, that hurts so much more, you know? 1158 01:13:23,633 --> 01:13:25,033 Fucking rad. 1159 01:13:26,533 --> 01:13:27,767 BAM: Look at him walk. 1160 01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:29,700 STEVE-O: Dunn's gonna win, dude. 1161 01:13:30,233 --> 01:13:31,700 I'm not too excited about this skit. 1162 01:13:31,734 --> 01:13:33,100 It's not my favorite I've ever done, 1163 01:13:33,133 --> 01:13:34,734 because there's a toy car in my butt. 1164 01:13:34,934 --> 01:13:37,066 But this is the Butt X-ray. 1165 01:13:43,734 --> 01:13:45,133 I think I need an x-ray. 1166 01:13:45,900 --> 01:13:47,500 WOMAN: Antoine? Yes? 1167 01:13:48,867 --> 01:13:50,767 How you doing? Pretty good. 1168 01:13:52,133 --> 01:13:54,400 I'm Ryan, and this is... What can I do for you? 1169 01:13:54,433 --> 01:13:56,633 I was partying last night with some frat guys. 1170 01:13:56,667 --> 01:13:59,533 I passed out. I must've fallen down and broken something, 1171 01:13:59,567 --> 01:14:02,133 'cause I haven't been able to walk right since. 1172 01:14:02,166 --> 01:14:04,700 We're gonna take x-ray now, to be sure. Okay. 1173 01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:06,367 Take a... 1174 01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,867 Oh, okay. 1175 01:14:09,967 --> 01:14:11,166 This is comfy. 1176 01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,033 Hold your breath. Don't move. 1177 01:14:25,133 --> 01:14:26,934 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 1178 01:14:31,266 --> 01:14:33,433 (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) 1179 01:14:36,667 --> 01:14:38,233 (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) 1180 01:14:53,066 --> 01:14:54,500 What is that? 1181 01:14:54,533 --> 01:14:55,934 RYAN: I have no idea. 1182 01:14:55,967 --> 01:14:59,233 That's not part of you. That's something extra. 1183 01:14:59,467 --> 01:15:01,300 I would've known if I ate that. 1184 01:15:01,667 --> 01:15:04,400 No. You--you wouldn't be able to swallow that. 1185 01:15:04,767 --> 01:15:06,300 That is a car toy. 1186 01:15:06,333 --> 01:15:08,100 Well, how did a car toy get there? 1187 01:15:08,333 --> 01:15:10,066 Maybe you stuck it up your ass. 1188 01:15:10,100 --> 01:15:11,800 I didn't stick anything up my ass. 1189 01:15:11,834 --> 01:15:13,967 Have you ever seen anything like that? 1190 01:15:14,367 --> 01:15:16,166 No, I never seen that in there. 1191 01:15:17,166 --> 01:15:21,600 I've seen a toy car all over, but, no, never in somebody's rectum. 1192 01:15:22,100 --> 01:15:24,133 You can't get it out? You don't have... No. 1193 01:15:24,166 --> 01:15:28,700 I'm a physician, but I practice this, x-ray, only. 1194 01:15:29,467 --> 01:15:32,633 You think maybe I can just, you know, poop it out? 1195 01:15:32,667 --> 01:15:34,667 You won't be able to poop it out. 1196 01:15:35,100 --> 01:15:37,200 In fact, it will hurt you. 1197 01:15:37,233 --> 01:15:41,367 In fact, I don't think it's even good for you that you poop it out. 1198 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:44,133 CAMERAMAN: What will happen if you take Ex-Lax? Will that help? 1199 01:15:45,033 --> 01:15:46,433 No, if he takes Ex-Lax, 1200 01:15:46,467 --> 01:15:49,233 well, he gets a lot of diarrhea, but no car. 1201 01:16:00,533 --> 01:16:02,633 I appreciate it. Thank you for taking care of me. 1202 01:16:02,667 --> 01:16:03,934 Okay. Thanks again. 1203 01:16:17,166 --> 01:16:18,333 He's alive! 1204 01:16:18,700 --> 01:16:21,567 Oh, Johnny Knoxville. He made it. 1205 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:26,033 Oh, there is a God. Oh, please. 1206 01:16:26,066 --> 01:16:28,800 And at last! I thought it would never... 1207 01:16:29,734 --> 01:16:33,667 This is the end! Oh, thank you, Jesus! 1208 01:16:36,233 --> 01:16:37,567 Oh, child! 1209 01:16:39,266 --> 01:16:40,500 Let's see it! Let's see it! 1210 01:16:40,533 --> 01:16:41,967 Not that bad. 1211 01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,433 (ALL GROANING) 1212 01:16:45,800 --> 01:16:48,066 ♪♪(HYBRID MOMENTS PLAYING) 1213 01:16:48,100 --> 01:16:49,600 (AIR HORN BLARING) 1214 01:16:49,633 --> 01:16:51,533 ♪ Moments like this never last ♪ 1215 01:16:52,834 --> 01:16:54,400 (WHOOPING) 1216 01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:58,934 ♪ When do creatures rape your face ♪ 1217 01:16:58,967 --> 01:17:01,166 ♪ Hybrids opened up the door ♪ 1218 01:17:03,633 --> 01:17:05,433 (GRUNTING) 1219 01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:08,800 ♪ Ooh, baby, when you cry ♪ 1220 01:17:08,834 --> 01:17:11,000 ♪ Your face is momentary ♪ 1221 01:17:11,033 --> 01:17:14,533 ♪ You hide your looks behind these scars ♪ 1222 01:17:16,367 --> 01:17:17,367 Oh, shit! 1223 01:17:24,133 --> 01:17:25,667 JOHNNY: Oh, fuck! 1224 01:17:25,867 --> 01:17:27,700 ♪ Give me a moment ♪ 1225 01:17:28,266 --> 01:17:30,500 ♪ Give me a moment ♪ 1226 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,133 ♪ Ooh, baby, when you cry ♪ 1227 01:17:38,166 --> 01:17:40,533 ♪ Your face is momentary ♪ 1228 01:17:40,567 --> 01:17:43,967 ♪ You hide your looks behind these scars ♪ 1229 01:17:45,834 --> 01:17:47,333 Bam, what the... 1230 01:17:47,367 --> 01:17:48,900 (SNARLING) 1231 01:17:48,934 --> 01:17:50,967 ♪ In hybrid moments ♪ 1232 01:17:55,133 --> 01:17:57,767 ♪ In hybrid moments ♪ 1233 01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:00,700 ♪ In hybrid moments ♪ 1234 01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:07,567 ♪ Give me a moment ♪ 1235 01:18:07,767 --> 01:18:10,100 ♪ Give me a moment ♪♪ 1236 01:18:19,266 --> 01:18:20,700 Whose dick do I gotta suck 1237 01:18:20,734 --> 01:18:22,900 to get some explosions around here? 1238 01:18:30,133 --> 01:18:32,934 ♪♪(FLESH INTO GEAR PLAYING) 1239 01:18:33,166 --> 01:18:36,700 ♪ I can't expect you to see me ♪ 1240 01:18:36,734 --> 01:18:38,767 ♪ When I'm not around ♪ 1241 01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,667 ♪ And my voice is destroyed ♪ 1242 01:18:41,700 --> 01:18:44,133 ♪ By confinement of sound ♪ 1243 01:18:44,166 --> 01:18:46,700 ♪ I'm a human machine ♪ 1244 01:18:46,734 --> 01:18:49,100 ♪ Laced with hidden disease ♪ 1245 01:18:49,133 --> 01:18:51,567 ♪ If the future looks bleak ♪ 1246 01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:53,734 ♪ Then you're connected to me ♪ 1247 01:18:53,767 --> 01:18:54,967 ♪ Flesh into gear ♪ 1248 01:18:55,266 --> 01:18:59,266 ♪ My self appears dissected and pretentious ♪ 1249 01:18:59,300 --> 01:19:01,667 ♪ A simple sound, a heavy sigh ♪ 1250 01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:04,133 ♪ Could win the whole world over ♪ 1251 01:19:04,166 --> 01:19:06,867 ♪ You live in fear of being someone you didn't want ♪ 1252 01:19:06,900 --> 01:19:08,567 It's got a boner. 1253 01:19:09,533 --> 01:19:12,100 ♪ I realize your insecurities ♪ 1254 01:19:12,133 --> 01:19:14,166 ♪ Will get the best of you ♪♪ 1255 01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:17,233 Oh! Oh, fuck! 1256 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:20,934 GIRL: That's a man. 1257 01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:25,800 (GRUNTS) 1258 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,166 Gator wrestling. 1259 01:19:43,233 --> 01:19:44,900 (SCREECHING) 1260 01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:50,400 For fuck's sake, come here! Hurry up. Hurry up. 1261 01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:52,900 Hurry! 1262 01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:04,233 We wanted to see if you would run here with a car up your ass. 1263 01:20:04,266 --> 01:20:05,900 No, I ain't running anywhere. 1264 01:20:09,633 --> 01:20:10,900 It's scary enough to walk. 1265 01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,066 You're nice. You're a good man. 1266 01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:15,266 ♪♪(IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB PLAYING) 1267 01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:16,467 Want to come over for dinner? 1268 01:20:16,667 --> 01:20:19,300 No, that's okay. You know how to operate it now? 1269 01:20:19,333 --> 01:20:21,533 Yeah, I think so. I think so. 1270 01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:24,033 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪ 1271 01:20:24,066 --> 01:20:25,834 I need help. Yeah. 1272 01:20:26,333 --> 01:20:29,400 ♪ When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up ♪ 1273 01:20:31,667 --> 01:20:33,867 ♪ I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer ♪ 1274 01:20:33,900 --> 01:20:36,700 ♪ But I know enough to know ♪ 1275 01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:40,433 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪ 1276 01:20:42,500 --> 01:20:44,800 The smiley face is a complete crucial. 1277 01:20:45,834 --> 01:20:47,133 What did I say? 1278 01:20:47,166 --> 01:20:48,266 BAM: Fuck. Fuck. 1279 01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:50,667 I didn't say the "F" word. Yeah, you did. You said "fuck." 1280 01:20:50,700 --> 01:20:54,133 Don't worry, we'll bleep it. I did? Can we cut that out? 1281 01:20:54,166 --> 01:20:57,100 ♪ And I had dudes with badges frisk me ♪ 1282 01:20:58,433 --> 01:21:00,700 WOMAN: It's all right. It looks fine. It looks normal. 1283 01:21:00,734 --> 01:21:02,767 ♪ To teach me how to swallow pride ♪ 1284 01:21:04,200 --> 01:21:06,934 ♪ I took advice no fool would take ♪ 1285 01:21:07,700 --> 01:21:10,066 I think it says "fuck" on my forehead. 1286 01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:12,767 They don't have a tail? 1287 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,667 No! They must have... 1288 01:21:14,700 --> 01:21:16,934 (FARTING) ♪ I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer ♪ 1289 01:21:16,967 --> 01:21:19,100 ♪ But I know enough to know ♪ 1290 01:21:19,934 --> 01:21:21,667 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪ 1291 01:21:21,700 --> 01:21:23,433 CAMERAMAN: Show him the x-ray. 1292 01:21:25,767 --> 01:21:28,567 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪ 1293 01:21:31,734 --> 01:21:34,667 I mean, trust me, dude, I'm not unimpressed. 1294 01:21:36,100 --> 01:21:39,233 ♪ That's the way it is in life and love ♪ 1295 01:21:41,333 --> 01:21:44,500 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪ 1296 01:21:46,567 --> 01:21:49,900 ♪ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♪♪ 1297 01:21:56,333 --> 01:21:57,533 Fuck! 1298 01:21:58,400 --> 01:22:02,333 The next time, we can do Son of Jackass. 1299 01:22:02,367 --> 01:22:03,633 Son 1300 01:22:06,033 --> 01:22:08,133 ♪♪(O FORTUNA PLAYING) 1301 01:23:52,200 --> 01:23:53,967 (LAUGHING) 1302 01:24:06,867 --> 01:24:08,266 Yeah, dude. 1303 01:24:12,367 --> 01:24:13,367 (LAUGHS) 1304 01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:17,600 (ANNOUNCER READING) 87493