Original subtitles

He's losing it lying down on that plank.

He, an angry boy in the arms when we get him.

Because the people are tired of being

in the same pit as them.

They say we can't go on like this anymore.

We must find another way, like the same old.

They say we can't do this any longer.

By the great injustice done to us.

Now I want to hear both sides of this story.

And Ah Chong, you talk English.

I can understand that gibberish you keep blabbing all the time.

Bad enough to have to listen to him.

All right.

Now, you start.

Well, this Ah Chong, this cook as he calls himself.

Well, he came in here a couple of days ago

and said he had to have a job.

Needed bad.

They were just going to stay a spell and then move on.

Had to make some money so he could get back to San Francisco.

So I helped him out.

Well, now, I don't see anything about that.

You get so riled up over it.

Riled?

He's the one that's riled.

He put in big face.

All the time yell Ah Chong to make garbage.

No good.

Ah Chong cook.

You see?

You see there?

Can't do a thing with him.

Lock him up.

He crazy.

He want garbage on tables.

Ah Chong cook.

Very good.

Lock him up.

I tell you, this one's dangerous.

Yes, sir.

He's going to kill somebody one of these days.

Well, why don't you just fire him?

I did.

But he won't leave.

That's why I got you.

Now, you fire him.

Run him out of town.

No.

Ah Chong can't lose job.

Need much job.

Plenty much need job.

Sure.

Yeah.

Well, now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Now, you start.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I know a little bit about cooks.

It's their nature to be ill-tempered at times.

Especially when you try to tell them how to cook.

Well, how do you know?

Well, I'm with the wagon train out

at Francisco on to San Francisco.

We've got an old cook that's been that way for years.

Some days you can live with him and other days

you wouldn't want to.

Imagine he's just about like this Ah Chong feller here.

OK, so cooks are local.

But that doesn't mean he can go around swinging

knives at everybody.

Now, listen, Ah Chong, you cook but that's all.

Understand?

He's a cook.

But it's your responsibility.

If anything happens, it's your neck.

Now, wait a minute.

I ain't going to be responsible for what he does.

I can't control him.

If he's going to go around chopping somebody up

with that axe, I want no part of him.

Well, you don't want him and I don't want to put him in jail.

Ah Chong, that meat axe of yours is dangerous.

I could have you up for assault with a deadly weapon.

Ah Chong, no.

He ain't no make no trouble.

He leave town.

He leave right away.

No trouble.

Ah Chong, go pack things.

Well, looks like I'm going to have to go back to cooking.

Where are you going?

To next town to find job to earn money

to travel to San Francisco.

Looks like you have a little trouble in these town cafes.

Ah Chong not kill nobody.

Ah Chong is good cook.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop meat.

He chop food, but not people.

He just try to earn money.

Well, you sure go about it in a funny kind of way.

Ah Chong lose temper.

He very sorry.

Well, if money is so all fired important to you,

why do you get mad?

Money is much help for more than Ah Chong need.

For he need no help a kitchen.

Well, we sure do.

Our cook hasn't been up to snuff lately.

We're getting a little tired of it.

You need cook?

Ah Chong plenty good cook.

Well, I can't promise you anything.

You see, our wagon master didn't send me

into town to find a cook.

You go to San Francisco?

Yeah, we're going to San Francisco.

Ah Chong go too.

He cook like Jew is.

Well, wait a minute.

We've already got a cook.

Ah Chong most pleased.

You need him.

He be very happy cooking wagon train.

Ah Chong say his gratitude.

Well, all right, Ah Chong.

You be at delivery stable in the morning.

I have to pick the mail up and have all your possessions

and be ready to ride.

Oh, Ah Chong be very ready, Mr.

Hawks, Bill Hawks.

All right, I'll see you in the morning.

You expect that rig to get you to San Francisco?

Oh, yes, friend Hawks.

Rig has gotten Ah Chong from wrong way.

And in China, roads are as typical as this.

Well, I guess you know what you're doing.

Get your horse and we'll take off.

Oh, no horse.

Ah Chong is horse.

You mean you pull that thing by yourself?

Oh, it's true, friend Hawks.

Much easier this way.

Oh, it's true, friend Hawks.

Much easier this way.

I save much money on horse.

Also, only one mouth to feed, Ah Chong.

Uh, maybe I better dig in the blacksmith

and get some horseshoes put on you.

You know, San Francisco isn't just around the corner.

Uh, say, uh, what is that thing?

Is that a Chinese frying pan hanging there?

Oh, it's Chinese instrument for use in,

in josh house ceremonies to drive off evil spirits.

How does it work?

Oh, works like so.

Whoa, what are you doing anyway?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, son.

Whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's the matter with you?

What do you think you're doing?

Ah Chong, maybe the horses in China like that kind of noise,

but ours don't.

Ah Chong, much sorry.

He, he no think with head.

Well, I, I guess I asked you how it worked,

and, uh, you showed me.

You know, our wagon master, Christopher Hale,

is a real quiet man.

He likes quiet people and quiet surroundings.

Ah Chong, understand.

No ring gong unless us to ring gong.

Well, I don't think you'll have that problem.

We better hide till it will be late

getting back to the train.

You sure that you can pull that, uh,

whatever you call that thing?

A, a, a rickshaw.

Oh, yes.

Our Chong with much strong legs.

All right, let's go.

Ooh.

What's the matter, friend hawks?

You tired?

Me?

No, how you doing?

Oh, very good, very good.

In China road very difficult, much hard.

That's what you said before.

You sure you don't want to hook that mess

on the back of the horse and get up here behind me?

Oh, no, no, no.

Feet good.

Knock and saw.

But when our Chong sit on horse, ooh.

All right, partner, if you say so.

We're almost there anyway.

I'll ride on into camp and break the news gently

to our wagon master about you.

Might take a little doing.

You stay outside camp, and when you hear me whistle,

come on in.

Come on.

Oh, hello, Bill.

Hi, Chris.

Got the mail, huh?

Yeah.

Where's, uh, where's Charlie?

Where Mr. Worcester's been for the past six nights in a row,

playing poker with a new passenger.

Six nights, he must be doing pretty good for himself.

Well, poker, maybe, but not as cooking.

About the only time he does any cooking around here

is in the morning.

He gets his own breakfast.

Haven't you had supper yet?

No.

Bill, if I could find a new cook, Mr. Worcester,

to have a new job, driving all day

and standing guard all night.

What?

What was that for?

Well, our problems are solved.

Just by a whistle.

Not exactly.

Well, then what exactly?

What is it?

This is our Chong.

He's going to solve our food problems.

Our Chong's a cook and a good one.

Incredible.

Well, how, how, how did he get here from China?

By way of St. Louis, that is.

I ran into him in town

and known that Charlie had been misbehaving.

You did the right thing, Bill.

Fill me in later.

Well, uh, watch Chong.

Chong, welcome to wagon trade.

Our Chong, meet your new boss, Christopher Hale.

He'll see you through to San Francisco.

Most happy for you to know our Chong,

Mr. Wagamata Christopher.

Well, thank you.

Now, your wages will be the regular pay and keep,

and as Bill says,

we'll see that you get to San Francisco.

Our Chong would not ask for more.

And now, please to excuse,

our Chong prepare for supper.

You like?

Good, you do that.

You know, Chris,

I think this is going to be a change for the better.

Aye?

Oh, yeah.

San Francisco, you say, huh?

Mm-hmm.

And that'll take just about long enough

to teach that little poker-playing friend of ours a lesson.

And if Charlie gets jealous,

he'll learn another lesson from his sharp meat cleaver.

You know, Bill,

I think this will get our little leprechaun back on his toes.

What will the new chores I'll give him?

I'll distribute the mail.

I'll be right back.

Our Chong.

In order to get started on the right foot,

there's two things that Mr. Hale likes,

good food and hot coffee, both on time.

Oh, don't worry about our Chong.

He on time.

Cook very good, very on time.

Well, we'll be right back.

Why don't you rustle us up something special, huh?

Oh, yes.

Food's indescribable, Bill.

Hiring that fellow was the best idea I ever had.

Yeah.

You know, this makes old Charlie's food taste

like it was hooked up in his boots.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You like, yes?

You bet, you bet.

Thank you, our Chong.

Our Chong most pleased.

You happy, Wagamata Christopher?

Oh.

Our Chong.

No offense, but by the same token,

I want to attack this food here.

Would you mind bringing us a couple of forks?

Oh, our Chong.

I'll show you how a western man ties into a real meal.

I'll bring forks.

Thanks.

Here you go, Chris.

That's the stuff.

Yeah, the way you're winning.

Yeah, that's the way it is.

Yep.

Well, somebody's got to win.

Nope.

It's up to you.

I pass.

Pass?

Well, I think these little oprahs are worth about 10,

gentlemen.

Not too big.

I'll see it.

Good.

I'll call.

Good.

Cards?

One card.

One, huh?

How about you?

Come on, Red.

I'll take another little peek.

I think I'll take two.

Thank you.

Do you know how to play these?

Well, it's a little bit different.

Puts a different light on it all together.

You open it.

Don't get excited, boys.

We got all night.

It's up to you, Charlie.

My old pappy says never bet into a one card draw or a pat hand.

So, I check.

I'll just bet you 20.

I'm out.

You don't see fit, huh?

Well, well, well, well.

Well, I think I'll call that 20.

Time to gamble, my boy, Red.

Four aces.

Hey, that's a pretty good hand.

You'll win a lot of pots with that.

Just keep playing like that.

You'll be lucky.

Deal him.

Oh, well.

Wait a minute, gentlemen.

It's a little late.

Oh, my gosh.

It's almost 8.

What are you trying to pull, Charlie?

Mr. Chris will skin my poker playing high.

I ain't cooked his supper yet, you know.

Well, what's the matter?

You said we had all night.

Well, maybe not tonight, but you can catch me any time.

You fellas play a little checkers.

I'll take the only deck I've got.

Bye.

Good night.

I'll see you.

Some old farmer boys might know about farming,

but they sure can't play poker with Charlie Wooster.

Anyway, you know, I bet I've earned more tonight

than I could in two years cooking on that wagon thing.

Charlie, you're much too clever a boy.

Much too clever to be cooking.

Boy, what a cook.

What a cook.

Charlie, you're possibly the luckiest old buzzard

in the whole world.

You know, I bet you my poker's never been better.

My cooking is out of this world.

I've never cooked like this before.

You know, I bet if I was to lose my job with this wagon thing,

I could go back to Washington, D.C.,

and get myself a job cooking for the president.

You know, at times, it's hard for me to believe

I do my own cooking.

Well, you didn't, you knothead.

I didn't?

Who did?

Ah Chong?

He did.

Charlie, meet Mr. Christopher Hale's new cook, Ah Chong.

Cook?

That's a cook?

That is correct.

Mr. Wooster, you have disregarded

your cooking responsibilities for the last time.

It became necessary for me to get someone I could depend on

and also somebody who could cook.

What about me?

What happens to me?

You, Mr. Wooster, have a new position.

Oh, I do?

Precisely.

For 12 hours a day, you'll drive the lead wagon.

At night, you'll get up every four hours

and change the guard.

As for meals, you may cook your own

when you can find time.

Now, Mr. Chris, I know you got a little paid, but...

But right now, your new duty begins.

Go check the guard.

Yes, sir.

♪

Where'd Charlie disappear to, Ah Chong?

Asked Mr. Wooster, please, to have breakfast.

He makes scowl like this.

He say he do all cooking.

Well, he always has.

I suppose he still will.

Mr. Wooster say he got no time for fancy Ah Chong food.

Oh, I don't reckon so.

He say he very hurry to hook up team.

Be ready to roll.

Maybe a beaver-faced friend is learning a lesson.

Ah Chong, what's this?

More tea?

Oh, not so for it, Hawks.

It's coffee.

Tea for relax you to sleep.

Coffee live to our feet for start no day.

By golly, I believe you got something there, Ah Chong.

Well, I don't know whether it's that

or whether it was that meal he cooked for us last night.

You know, Chris, I slept like a newborn colt.

Now, just take a look at this.

Well, let's take our forks and dig in.

Hey, this is all right, isn't it?

I would say so.

I wonder what these are.

You can't trot all the way to San Francisco for that thing.

Well, you tell him, Chris, I've tried.

He claims there's no other way.

You know the way he hustles along, I'm beginning to believe him.

A lot of rough country between here and there.

Oh, I know it, and so does he.

But he won't have it any other way.

Maybe he could hitch that thing behind Charlie's wagon.

No chance.

He's made up his mind.

What's the matter?

You thinking about Charlie?

No, not Charlie.

Water.

Short.

Maybe Buffalo Springs will be running some.

You know better than to hope for that, Bill.

Buffalo Springs hasn't been worth a tinker's tick for several years now.

It'll be a lot of long, dry days before we find water.

Oh, no, thanks.

No more, Ah Chong.

Oh, a place to excuse not food.

Ah Chong, they like him with a fortune stick.

Oh, Ah Chong, we don't have time for games now.

We have other things to think about.

Oh, Ah Chong, no.

He tried to help.

Oh, not right now.

There's a Chinese fortune teller.

Very good.

He will tell you what will come.

He's full of sticks each with words of truth on them.

You ask question, shake box, turn upside down.

One stick will bring answer.

Oh, no thanks, Ah Chong.

Not just now, eh?

You worried about water in spring, yes?

But no secret, Ah Chong, here.

But answer no secret either.

Ah Chong ask question, shake box, yes?

Yes.

Ah Chong see most good fortune.

Buffalo spring be running like the river.

Thank you, Ah Chong.

Thank you.

Yeah, we'll know pretty soon, I guess, eh?

About time to kick him out on the trail, Bill.

Tell him to hitch up.

All right.

Sister Rosa, how far is spring?

Huh?

How far is buffalo spring?

Oh, just up the road a piece, ahead of Mr. Chris,

around that bend.

What do you want to know for?

Must be ready.

Ready for what?

Ah Chong will do what a Mr. Christopher

and Fred Hawk Church.

Yeah, if you do, you'll do them in mud.

Oh, not so.

In water.

In water.

In water.

In water.

In water.

In water.

In water.

Not so.

In water.

Listen, Ah Chong, you've been eating too much

of that Chinese rice or something.

There ain't been no water in them springs

the last three times we've been through here.

We see, Mr. Rosa.

We see.

Yeah, we see.

We see.

Fine.

Get out of here.

How do you suppose he knew it, Chris?

I don't know.

Somehow he did.

Maybe there's something really to that stick business of his.

Bring up the wagons, Bill.

Have them water the stock well and fill

every container they got.

All right?

What's that stuff you're fixing?

It's tea.

Tea?

For a wagon train?

Oh, yes.

Chinese tea.

It's very good.

Ah Chong bring from all country.

It's very good for wagon master nerves.

What do you know about Mr. Chris's nerves?

What he needs is a cup of hot black coffee like I make.

Oh, no, no.

Don't tell me no.

Poor little bird lost his neck.

Where are you?

Wait a minute.

I told you.

What's the matter?

What do I do now?

You no longer cook here for wagon master Christopher, Mr. Rosa.

Our Chong is cook.

Our Chong run kitchen.

He run Mr. Rosa house.

Wait.

Hey.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Wait a minute, Chong.

What's that?

You're going to hurt somebody with that thing.

Now wait a minute.

Trace to remain in old territory.

Wait a minute now, Chong.

Wait a minute.

Our Chong is cook for wagon master Christopher.

You not come here, or Chong chop off Rosa head.

Wait a minute.

How can a man get that mad?

Well, that ought to do it.

If he gets a taste of them burgeoness,

he'll kill that little job stealer.

If he don't, Bill will.

And then Mr. Chong will be driving that lead wagon 12 hours a day

and changing that guard every four hours.

And all I'll be doing is just a little bit cooking again.

Our Chong.

Oh, Mr. Wagon Master.

Astonishing how just the odor of delicious food

can give a tired man a big lift.

Well, let's quit talking about it and tie into it.

Ah.

You know, Chris, I guess our Chong's food

rate's talking about after all.

I've eaten food at a lot of different places

from a lot of different cooks, but I've never

tasted food like our Chong's.

No, sir.

I never have.

Yeah.

And you're too smart.

I can't remember tasting like it again either.

From the aromatics, our Chong, I'd

say you've prepared perfection again tonight.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Wagon Master.

You know, Chris, I'm getting kind of used

to this hot soup idea.

Well, nothing like it, Bill, to settle a man's stomach

after a hard day.

Well, our Chong, you've turned this trip

into a gourmet picnic.

Oh, our Chong must please you.

Please, Mr. Wagon Master.

It's our fictitious meal all the time.

You know, I know good chefs don't like to give away

their cooking secrets, but how'd you make this soup?

What'd you put in it?

Oh, our Chong most happy to show you what his soup.

Boy, this is it.

This has got to be it.

Here is soup maker.

That looks like a bird's nest.

Oh, yes, it's a bird's nest.

Bird's nest?

Did you say a bird's nest?

Yeah, he said bird's nest.

Oh, you're pretty much lucky.

Bird's nest is very, very old and very, very hard to find.

Come on.

Our Chong bring from his country,

and now he make special soup for you.

You like, yes?

Yes, sir.

There's nothing like a couple of old Chinese bird's nests

to settle a man's insides.

That's what I always say.

Well, it's good.

Unusual, but it's good, isn't it?

Yeah, it sure is.

Well, I'll be.

So that's what they want, bird's nest.

All right.

If a couple of little old bird's nests make him happy,

I'll get him something really cool about it.

Yes, sirree, Bob.

Old Charlie Wooster ain't whip yet, not by a long sight.

What if I couldn't get back?

I hear you.

Go away.

Go on, birdie.

Go on, go on.

Go on, I'm busy.

Well, after all I was looking for you, wasn't I?

Well, I found one.

Go on.

Go on.

Boy, I'll bet the old devil want to go to the chef

to make the eagle stew.

Don't tell what you see.

This stuff is hard to come by.

What do you suppose he's making, Chris?

Hard to say, but I wager we have him broke the kitchen

harness before we get to San Francisco.

Talk about flavor.

I've made a lot of things in my days,

but this is the first eagle stew.

You know, it smells pretty good.

Maybe he's learning something from our Chong.

We can hope.

He's missing.

Oh, salt.

Let's go over there.

What is it?

Hard to tell.

Smells good, though.

In fact, it smells delicious.

Mr. Hawks, I suggest we taste it, hmm?

Good?

Well, you two gentlemen finally got enough sense

to come home and eat a decent meal.

Sit right where you are, and I'll serve you.

Well, it tastes delicious, Charlie.

A little peculiar taste, though.

What's in it?

It's a special recipe, Mr. Chris,

just for you.

One of my specials.

Yeah, but what is it, Charlie?

Well, I call it eagle stew.

Eagle stew.

Well, that's very interesting.

But what's in it?

Eagle.

Do you remember those two little birds' nests

you liked so well?

Well, I thought maybe if a little...

Charlie?

Yes, sir?

What's in this, this eagle stew?

And don't tell us that it's eagle...

Right, right, right, right.

Yes, sir.

But it's an awful lot of trouble, too.

These things are hard to find.

This is a nice, great big fresh one.

Eagle's nest?

Yeah.

Bill!

Mr. Chris!

What's the matter?

Come back here!

That's funny.

They like tall chunks.

Well, no wonder.

Forgot the salt in mine.

What's he up to now?

Oh, he dug up our dress shirts

so we could wash and iron them.

Dress shirts?

On a wagon train?

No, he figured maybe the next town we hit,

we could use them to catch up on...

Well, you know.

It's a good idea if we ever get to the next town.

That Indian sign we saw has got me a little worried.

Why?

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

You know, Chris, it seems kinda funny

that the Indians would try to raid so close to a town.

That's exactly what they do sometimes.

Some wagon trains get a little careless

when they get close to civilization.

That's when the raiding party swooped down on them,

so we'll profit by their mistakes.

Forewarned is forearmed.

Well, I'll doubly outriders for tomorrow.

Put some more men on the point too.

The first sign of any hostile Indians

we circle up immediately.

All right.

Why... white hawks?

Not now, Ah Chong.

Please to speak.

I have to go set some outriders and guards for tomorrow.

Oh, you have no need to fear.

Ah Chong have secret weapon.

Yeah, I know all about that secret weapon of yours,

and you go banging that thing around here,

you'll stampede the whole camp.

Oh, friend, hawks' gong is more used in China much, much time.

Yeah, well, maybe so, but don't go banging it.

Understand?

A little tea, Ah Chong?

Hmm? Sit down.

Something troubling you?

Mr. Wagamaster, for first time in life, Ah Chong have fear.

You mean about the Indians?

Well, we're not certain there's a war party around, you know.

Ah Chong not afraid to die, only fear dying too soon.

Hmm? What would be dying too soon?

Mr. Wagamaster, Ah Chong have much problem.

He is alien...

Alien?

Yes, alien, cause much trouble.

But Ah Chong is not alien by his own doing.

Much, much time ago, Ah Chong is what American call Shanghai.

Shanghai, yes, I know what that means.

Many big men steal Ah Chong in China and bring to this country,

bring him here to work at all so many jobs Ah Chong do not like.

Road gang, mines...

Yes, so, after many time, Ah Chong run away.

He try to go home.

He must go home or bring China to him or he die.

Well, I'm not sure I understand you.

Mr. Wagamaster, Ah Chong have family, wife, four children.

He not know where now.

You mean you haven't seen your family in all that time?

You don't even know if they're alive?

Ah Chong have right many time but not here.

So, Ah Chong try to run away, try to go home to China to family.

But he not have money so he go workers, cook, try to get to see family.

Mr. Wagamaster, in China family is everything.

It's all to live for.

I know what it means for man to be without his family under any circumstances.

Ah Chong is not young man.

His days are numbered as the leaves in autumn.

Ah Chong save money from work hard.

Not afraid to die.

Only fear dying before he see wife, children.

All right, now you hang on to that money.

I have some friends in San Francisco who probably be able to help you decide

whether you want to go to China or for China to come to you.

They'll get in touch with your family and get word to you.

Mr. Wagamaster, Ah Chong much indebted to you.

No, I thank you for unburdening yourself to me.

You're right, man belongs with his family.

Without them he is as a fallen leaf.

Mr. Chris, how about a little two handed?

No, no thanks Charlie.

Long hard day tomorrow.

We all better turn in as soon as possible and sleep as hard as possible.

Yeah.

Good night.

I don't suppose you play a little two handed, do you Mr. Chong?

Oh, Ah Chong always use two hands.

No, I don't mean that.

A two handed poker game.

I play you and you play me.

For money, it's kind of like gambling.

We use this deck of mine.

You understand?

Oh yes, Ah Chong understand.

We play poker.

Good, sit right down.

Now there's several ways to play this little poker game.

There's the penny ante and then there's the table stakes game.

Table stakes?

Yeah, that's where you put everything out on the table.

Oh, we play table stakes.

Good, good.

I've seen little green rocks like that in San Francisco.

One of them places where they loan money on your belongings.

In the window.

Had a nice price tag on it too.

Oh yes, it's very valuable.

It's Chinese Jade.

Jade, yeah, that's what Bill called it.

Ah, Mr. Chang, what do you think those three little rocks would be worth in money?

Oh, maybe ten American dollar.

Maybe more to a mandolin.

Mandolin?

What's a mandolin?

Oh, Mandarin, I know what you mean.

Yeah.

Well, Mr. Chong, as long as we're such good friends,

I'll just allow you, say, fifteen dollars a rock in money.

Oh, it's true, Mr. Rosa.

It's true, Mr. Rosa.

You're a much good friend.

Good.

As long as we're such good friends, we might as well just get started.

We cut for deal.

Take a card.

High card deals.

Helps out.

Ah, yes.

I'll try to remember.

Good.

Take one.

Ace of spades.

It's good, yes?

Yeah, it's good, yes.

Deal.

Deal.

Hmm.

Well, well, well, well.

Well, Mr. Chong, I'll just bet you fifteen dollars against one of them little rocks.

Oh, yes, Mr. Rosa.

Pony and kettle.

Oh, pot.

Never mind.

I'll teach you as we go along.

Oh, Mr. Rosa, please to take cards.

I think I'll take one.

One card.

Are you taking any?

I hope.

Oh.

Oh, Chong applies to take three cards.

Good.

Well.

Your play, Mr. Rosa.

You play good cards?

Yeah, pretty good.

Yeah.

Well, Mr. Chong, I'll just bet you fifteen dollars against one of them little rocks.

Well, Mr. Chong, I'll just bet you thirty dollars now against those last two little rocks.

Oh, yes.

Our Chong will put in.

Good.

A place to show your hand, Mr. Rosa?

Well, kings and eights.

Pretty good for a starter, huh?

Oh, yes.

Very good.

Good, good, good.

I think I win, Mr. Rosa.

Three, two?

Yeah, yeah.

Three twos win.

Three deuces, you call it.

Oh, yes.

It's a good game, too.

We play more?

Yeah, we play more.

Just deal them up, Curly.

Oh!

For like two hundred, game is over, Mr. Rosa?

You bet it is.

You've won everything but by a belt, and you didn't want that.

Oh, this two hundred's a very, very lucky game.

Very, very good, yes?

Yeah.

Should have gone to bed like Mr. Chris said.

Oh, Mr. Rosa?

Yeah?

May your dreams be present.

Thank you.

It's unpleasant, dreaming.

Can't understand it.

Won everything with my socks, and me with my own deck, too.

Well, they might have got my winnings, but...

Anyway, I'll be back in Mr. Chris's good graces tomorrow.

You can bet your money, marbles, and jade on that.

Go to bed now.

Oh!

Just got back for myself.

I might as well cook up some rice.

That's all I've been eating lately.

Thanks to that new cook.

I've got to boil, anyway.

I'll just cook up some of my big, thick, hot flapjacks.

It's beside me, too.

Something will stick to their ribs.

They'll fool them.

Worcester!

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

What in heaven's name is that?

Why, that's a...

I don't know.

Well, you need to do something.

Yeah, I'll...

I'll hitch up a team.

I'll hitch up a team.

I'll hitch up a team.

I'll hitch up a team.

I'll hitch up a team.

I'll hitch up a team.

Oh, Mr. Worcester.

He's not a pretty much good rice cooker.

Mr. Worcester is not a pretty good any kind of cooker.

I doubt Chong hitched that thing up to Charlie's wagon,

riding the seat with him.

Nope, he said he didn't want to put anybody out.

Well, Charlie ought to ask him to ride.

I know it.

All right, then.

We're ready to roll out.

Make sure those outriders stay wide awake.

Wagons!

Halt!

Charlie.

Charlie.

Why don't you stay out of my way and stop that infernal yappy?

Our Chong is so sorry.

He forget he talk in language of his home.

You do not understand.

I don't have to understand your language

to know that you're trying to drag me off the wagon train.

Not you.

Only some of us with strange skin.

Yeah, if I was you, I'd be scared too.

Because if there's any Indians out there,

there's nothing they'd like better

than to have that pig tail of yours hanging from a lance.

Our Chong knows I would also praise Mr. Worcester.

Our Chong much sorry he make you angry.

I'll bet.

You've done everything you could since you've been on this wagon train

to make a jackass out of me in front of Mr. Chris and Bill.

And now that infernal wailing and that darn gong.

Our Chong just tried to help.

It's secret weapon to drive off Indian savages.

Yeah, the only secret weapon you got

is that cooking and scraping and bowing.

And you've used that to steal my two good friends.

Oh, it's not so, Mr. Worcester.

Our Chong not steal nobody.

Why don't you go back where you come from

and take that secret weapon with you?

Who asked you over here anyway?

You are correct, Mr. Worcester.

Our Chong not belong.

He do not belong.

The way you're doing me, I won't either time I get to San Francisco.

Right, go.

Whoa!

Yeah, you're right about that little valley, Chris.

Just over that rise there.

That's good protection for them.

Out fit and there's good visibility.

A small stream run the bottom of it.

Well, I didn't know. It's been a long time.

Well, it's been a long, hot day, Bill.

Tell the wagons we'll camp soon as we get there.

Roll out before sun up tomorrow morning.

All right.

Ho!

Well, you'll soon have another chance to show off.

Show off? Hm, money.

Oh, wagons appear to be in nice and tight.

Yeah, I've set a double night guard.

Our Chong?

Where are you going outside to camp?

Mr. Wagonmaster Christopher, friend Hawks.

Our Chong has said goodbye.

He much appreciate help.

Well, we're nowhere near San Francisco.

There's a lot of rough country between here and there.

Our Chong know.

Our Chong prepared.

How about the cooking? You were supposed to go all the way with us.

Mr. Rooster is cook.

Our Chong is too many. He spoil broth.

Had trouble with Charlie, huh?

Mr. Rooster is most correct.

Our Chong do not belong with wagon train.

Well, that may be so from Mr. Worcester's standpoint,

but I'll be the judge of whether you belong with us or not.

Mr. Wagonmaster is most kind.

But our Chong have no desire to make trouble.

Make feel sick inside.

You haven't created any trouble.

Nothing but what Mr. Worcester brought about on himself.

Mr. Wagonmaster, you, friend Hawks,

this wagon train is Mr. Rooster's family.

It's all he have.

Like you, me.

He die without it.

Our Chong have no desire to rob Mr. Rooster of his family.

Well, you haven't robbed anybody of anything, our Chong.

You're wanted. You're needed.

Oh, please.

No, now you please.

I'm not going to let you go.

It's a long, dangerous trip to California,

even for a group working together.

You'd never make it alone.

Why, those Indians would make bird's nest soup out of you.

Mr. Wagonmaster, Christopher, he know best.

Well, the little show-off didn't have to come here anyway, did he?

He didn't just come here, Charlie.

I brought him, and Chris asked him to stay.

That little show-off, from a deep sense of respect and duty,

has gone without food, without clothes,

without anything to eat.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

I'm sure he'll come back.

Without food, without clothes, without a horse,

he used his backbone for a mattress,

suffering to save money, and you know why?

Just so he could be reunited with his family over in China.

Why, he...

Why, he...

Injuns!

Oh!

Oh!

By golly, I don't know how we ever got our wagon train this far without your help,

and the help of that gong.

Give me that, will you?

Chris, Chris. Wake up.

Ah Chong's gone.

Oh.

Oh Chong.

Wake up, Charlie.

Charlie, he's gone too.

Chris, come here a minute.

Take a look at that.

Well, it appears supper's about ready.

Oh, nearly ready, Mr. Christopher.

Oh, yes. Our Chong is helped, Mr. Rooster.

Our Chong is first assistant cook.

Well, I hope you wrote some of those recipes down

so Charlie can take better care of our stomachs.

Oh, yes. Our Chong will write our recipes.

Mm-hmm.

Well, that's what I want right there tomorrow morning for breakfast.

Why don't you take care of that number one cook?

Bill, you know I can't read this fancy sign language.

What's it say, Mr. Chong?

Our Chong play a little joke on Mr. Rooster.

You laugh, yes?

Yes, if I knew what I was laughing about.

What I'd like to have, though, Mr. Chong, is some of them fancy herbs of yours.

What happened to all that you won from the wagon train?

Well...

Charlie, you took 20 from me.

Oh, you have money, Mr. Rooster.

Our Chong just hold for you till we reach San Francisco.

No, you keep that. You won it fair and square.

You won money from him? At poker?

Our Chong tried to teach Mr. Rooster a little poker lesson.

Mr. Rooster, I give you herbs, but our Chong will keep Mark Poker Deck.

Our Chong, you know what you're talking about.

Mark Deck?

Bill!

Why, you bearded little card-marking shark of...

You know I wouldn't mark a deck.

Bill!

I was just trying to teach you a lesson, too.

Find out how much you won from the wagon train, give it back to the people,

and give the rest to our Chong.

Our Chong chase away evil poker spirits.

He drive off demons.

Yeah, you do that. That's just what I need.

That's a combination for you, Chris.

Works like a horse, cooks like a woman, and plays poker like a riverboat gambler.

Yes, sir. He's really some little fella, that Mr. Chong.

Well, Charlie, you know in China their last name comes first.

What do you mean their last name comes first?

Well, like his name, Ah Chong.

It's not Mr. Chong, it's Mr. Ah.

Ah!

That's right.

Ah Chong.

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