Original subtitles

[knocking continues]

Welcome to Hotel Tuca!

Oh, thank you!

Let me just tip the bellhop.

Please wait in the lobby

while we finish preparing your room.

Care for a refreshment?

Sure.

[Tuca] Cucumber water!

Boom!

‐Fanciness! ‐Wow!

♪ Putting freakin’ things In their place! ♪

‐ ♪ Clean shit up for Bertie ♪ ‐[explodes]

♪ Make this a nice space! ♪

♪ Clean... Ah ♪

[rattles]

♪ Clean... Uh‐uh ♪

♪ Clean shit... Ah ♪

♪ Clean shit... Uh‐uh ♪ C Clean... ♪uh ♪

‐ ♪ Uh‐ooh... Uh‐oh ♪ ‐[toilet flushes]

Your sleeping quarters are ready, madame!

Woo, child, running a hotel is exhausting.

Hey, wanna look at pictures

of people we went to college with and judge them?

Oh, I actually gotta run.

‐I have a date with Kara! ‐Oh!

Really? I thought we were gonna have a fun roomie hang!

‐[phone vibrates] ‐That’s her!

Karalaralinglong!

‐[phone vibrates] ‐That’s her!

We’ll have a sleepover when I get back.

Okay.

Tho’ I might be back kinda late tonight.

[chuckles] Hayhay!

You know what I’m saying, yeah? Yeah? Bye, girl!

Ow! [yelps]

[groans]

♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie

♪ Bertie & Tuca And Tuca & Bertie ♪

♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪ [vocalizes]

[crowd cheers]

‐♪ Tuca ♪ ‐♪ Bertie ♪

[Tuca and Bertie vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues]

‐Hi. ‐Hi.

[smooches]

So... I saw a weird sock a few blocks down,

it might still be there

if you wanna poke it with a stick.

Hmm... wanna go somewhere really cool?

Of course, I do.

What a weird question.

[car door closes]

[chiming]

[younger Tuca] Remember that girl from our college,

you know, the one with the hair?

‐And the shirt? ‐Oh, Library Tonya!

Girl, check it out.

Ah! Library Tonya got adult beak braces!

[laughing]

[gasps] Whoa...

[younger Bertie] We should get beak braces.

So, you ready to go to this party?

I dunno.

Oh, I heard Victor’s gonna be there.

Ah, he’s so hot!

I keep going to that movie theater

just so he can rip my ticket.

I’ve seen that stupid violent movie

with the suits and the sunglasses three times.

And he never notices.

And he never notices me!

Eh, maybe we shouldn’t go.

How about we pre‐game? Then get ice cream.

Then we go to the party.

Okay.

[light music]

[rattling]

[crashes]

Do you want a choco‐choco‐choco‐ choco‐choco‐chip?

I’d prefer mocha‐choco‐ cocoa‐mocho‐chipe!

Chipe!

[both laugh hysterically]

[sighs]

Cool. It’s you guys again. Flavors?

‐Mocha‐choco‐minty... ‐Chocolate‐chip‐choco...

[younger Leannne] That’s not funny.

It’s literally not a joke.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

‐[light music plays] ‐[background chatter]

Tuca, do you ever feel like we can’t find dates

because we’re always together?

‐[younger Tuca laughs] ‐Tuca?

[laughing heartily]

Hehehehehehe!

[both laughing heartily]

[hawks screeching]

[hawk squawks]

How did you know I love these rent‐a‐hawks?

I read your diary.

How did you know I love these rent‐a‐hawks?

because it’s all one long sentence

and it’s scandalous and it’s based on a true story.

[screeches]

Scree! [laughs]

So, do you come here a lot?

Do you bring other dates here?

Do you date all the time, a lot?

Have you boned anyone here?

[chuckles] No.

I was with someone for a while.

It ended a few months ago.

She wouldn’t have liked this place.

Why not?

Her father was killed by a hawk.

[dramatic music]

The hawk was her mother.

Come on.

Okay, seriously?

She kinda always played the victim.

Are you the good guy or bad guy in your relationships?

I’ve... never really been

in a serious relationship before.

[distant scream]

Hey, wanna go somewhere uncool?

[hawk screeches]

[whirring]

Thanks for coming with me.

I just needed to make some copies.

‐Oh. ‐[both moan]

[copy machine whirring]

[papers rustling]

Oh, my word! I’m gay!

[humming]

I’m so good at puzzles.

Phew, I could go pro.

[rock music]

Hell, yeah!

[phone vibrates]

‐[phone beeps] ‐Hey!

Hey! Just letting you know I made it here safely!

Uh, now, it’s just a two‐day hike to Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Me, in two days!

Ha, that’s the name of the doorknob store.

It’s called Knock Knock.

You didn’t have to travel so far.

You could’ve just bought a doorknob in Bird Town!

I want this to be the best birdhouse for you

so it needs the doorknob you thought was the prettiest!

Okay, uh, so I gotta, gotta get going

so I can take cover before the night bees emerge!

‐Night bees? ‐[Speckle] Oh, don’t worry.

They’ll be frozen dead by daybreak!

The real danger is the wolf wasps.

[wolves howling in distance]

Okay, be careful, bye!

It is the prettiest doorknob.

[lively music]

‐Hey. ‐Oh!

You’re up! Hello!

Last night was so fun.

Wanna go get breakfast?

Well, this was delicious and again, so fun.

Wanna catch a matinee?

That movie was so...

‐Stupid! ‐But I loved it!

So did I!

‐Stupid! ‐But I loved it!

I wish we didn’t have to stop but I have a shift tonight.

We’ve got this patient who’s doing really rough,

it’s all hands on deck.

[phone dings]

Oh, crap! He died!

I’m off the hook. Wanna keep hanging out?

Damn, you’re cold! And yes.

Hmm, is this too much?

Nah.

[camera shutter clicks]

[phone chimes]

[beeps]

[egg timer ticking]

[phone chimes]

[groans]

Nice view, huh?

It must be nice to be a boat

with a light showing you the right path to take.

Toot‐toot! Hey!

Mm‐hmm. The light‐keeper is an iffy landlord but...

she really knows how to keep boats

from eating shit out there.

[phone vibrates]

Why don’t you put that phone away?

What phone?

[both moaning]

[keypad clicking]

[phone chimes]

♪ Being alone is fun ♪

♪ So fun ♪

♪ I truly enjoy it ♪

[keypad clicking]

[phone chimes]

♪ You’re being needy ♪

Shut up, Puzzle!

I put you together and I can take you apart again!

You would never!

It took you hours to make me!

You should glue me together and frame me.

Ew, no!

Who does that?

[Puzzle] You’re tempted!

Agh. Okay, maybe...

No! No!

[line ringing]

Hey, Bertie!

[line ringing]

But I’m great! How are you?

Good! I’m alone here but, uh, I’m trying to enjoy it.

We’re our own best company.

Look, last night, I whittled this self‐portrait.

Very handsome.

Wait! Who’s that behind you?

Oh, right, yeah, so this bear keeps following me

Maybe I should stop and see if he wants some of my jerky.

[roaring]

[busy signal]

Ah!

I’m pathetic.

[groans]

Aah!

[lively music plays]

I’m pathetic.

I don’t find parties fun!

Parties are like cold swimming pools.

You just gotta ease in! [gulps]

Or cannonball.

Promise you won’t leave me alone?

Bertie, I promi...

Tuca!

[lively music plays]

‐[boings] ‐Ow!

[frustrated groan]

Hey, I’ve seen you.

Hey, Victor! Yes. Yes, you have!

At the movie theater!

It’s cool you like films.

Most chicks don’t. Except rom‐coms.

Guilty as Charged,

Most chicks don’t. Except rom‐coms.

[laughing]

I don’t get it.

Maybe You Will Someday.

Sorry, that’s another rom‐com title.

[laughs, mumbles]

Uh? Oh, I, I don’t know how to talk to funny girls.

‐What? ‐Uh, later.

[in slurred voice] Lookit my jacuzzi!

Pretty snoozy. Snazzy.

Bertie, didjoo see Victor?

He thinks yer hot.

I can tell. Sick sense.

[soft chuckle] Well, yeah.

It’s this 70s cinema verité doc.

It’s called LeBarf.

Oh, yeah, I’ve seen it.

Huh. I’ll, I’ll continue describing it.

It completely revolutionized

the way cinematographers light food.

I’m gonna get some fresh air.

Okay, kiddo.

Someone turn on the bubbles.

[burbles]

[lively music plays]

[mumbles] Sorry.

[both laugh]

Hi, I’m Speckle.

Sprinkles? I’m Bertie!

Wanna find somewhere quieter?

This is a nice room. I mean, patio?

Are we indoors or outdoors?

Both! It’s an atrium!

It brings light into the home and...

Ugh, sorry! I’m an architect!

What are you into?

Oh, well, right now,

I’m just an intern at this publishing office,

but, blah, boring! Not doing that forever!

[chuckles] Yeah. Yeah.

Baking is what I’m really into.

[gasps]

Uh, I love... people who bake.

[giggles]

[crashes]

Tuca!

Party crashing!

My solarium!

It’s actually an atrium!

[lively music plays]

Tuca, no!

‐[splashes] ‐[cracking]

‐[glass shatters] ‐My bedroom!

Party crashing!

You monster! I’m calling the cops!

Piggyback! Now!

Nice to meet you, Sprinkles!

Giddy‐up! And stop talking to this rando man

who we will never ever see again!

[lively music plays]

Your furniture is so... grown up.

That means "too much beige", right?

It’s calming!

Thanks! What’s your place like?

Eclectic!

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐[phone vibrating]

Uh, it’s work, I gotta take this.

I’ll be right back.

Whoops! Gotcha!

Now, now, Tuca, be tidy!

You mustn’t spill on the new girlfriend’s couch!

Be an adult.

You’re not in your messy on thetwenties anymore. couch!

Now, I’m in my dirty thirties!

Hey, hey!

[scoffs]

Hey, hey!

Oh, girl, there’s simply not enough time.

Just cover yourself in napkins.

Throw down a tarp if you have one.

Very funny. [laughs]

‐Aah! ‐Don’t you dare!

Agh, I can’t watch this!

[pops]

[slurping]

Oh, my god, what are you doing?

It just tastes so good!

Seriously, who raised you?

That kinda hurts my feelings.

I’m just joking.

You’re so sensitive!

Uh, okay.

It was weird, right?

Yes! Your remarks were justified

and clearly delivered in a jokey manner.

Now can we please talk about regifting?

I have opinions!

Ugh, no. Shut up!

Oh, wow, rude!

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

[sighs]

‐[phone beeps] ‐[Tuca] This is Tucalalala.

‐ Leave a message, ahaha! ‐[beeps]

Hey, Tuca, just calling because you don’t have any milk

so I’m gonna go buy some?

But I don’t remember

what kind of milk you’re into now?

I’ll just go pick some up.

So, if you come home and notice new, different milk,

don’t be scared.

Okay, bye!

Hey, Kara, this is Bertie.

Tuca’s best friend‐slash‐roomie.

I hope it’s not weird that I looked you up on social media.

I’m not stalking you or anything, ha ha!

Exclamation point.

I’m not stalking you or anything, ha ha!

And specifically, what kind of milk Tuca wants.

Maybe you can let her know I got a few different milks?

Ha‐ha.

And I hope you’re having a lovely weekend together!

‐Send. ‐[chimes]

Mmm.

Am I being weird right now?

Should I text Dr. Joanne?

She’s always telling me to "reach out".

Nah. I’m not being weird. [soft chuckle]

Not even two percent weird.

I’m non‐weird.

Soy weird?

[speaks Spanish] No, estoy normal!

I think you’re being weird!

Oh, yeah?

[Puzzle] No! Help!

Die!

[Puzzle] No, no, no, no, no, no!

‐[Puzzle screaming] ‐Die, die, die, die, die, die!

‐[Puzzle screaming continues] ‐[boisterous laughing]

[laughing continues]

I can’t believe I just ruined a puzzle!

[crying]

[chugging, sobbing]

‐[phone rings] ‐Oh, dear.

Oh, thank God.

‐[swooshes] ‐Hey, Speckle!

Guess what? I found Knock Knock

and it’s the coolest shop ever!

‐[knock at door] ‐Knock knock!

Who’s there?

‐A customer! ‐A customer who?

A customer who has cash?

Well, come right in!

And good news, they have the doorknob in stock!

Knock Knock is chockablock with stock!

How are... How are you?

Actually, not so great.

Tuca has been really busy with her new girlfriend

and I feel left out.

Aw, sweetie!

Why don’t you plan something fun to do with her?

Make sure you’re still getting

some quality friend time together.

[Polar Bear roars]

No!

I gotta go, honey!

No!

[beeps]

Your roommate sent me a really weird message about milk.

Bertie! Oh, shit, I need to call her!

Where’s my phone?

[phone vibrating]

[rattles]

‐[phone vibrates] ‐It’s Bertie!

See, our brains are psychically connected!

Hey, girl! I was just about to call you.

I couldn’t find my phone for a while!

Oh, that’s okay, just maybe... ignore my messages from earlier.

I miss you!

I miss you too!

Um, I saw that the Sex Bugs are playing tonight,

do you wanna go with me?

Hell, yeah!

Great! Yay! They start at nine.

All right, I’ll swing by and getcha!

See you in a few, roomie!

Bye, roomie!

[upbeat music]

‐[phone beeps] ‐[Tuca] This is Tucalalala.

‐ Leave a message, ahaha! ‐[beeps]

Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re actually coming tonight.

I totally get that you wanna hang out

with your new girlfriend,

but you invited me to stay with you,

and you’re leaving me hanging a lot... like, a lot a lot!

Honestly, this isn’t what I expected

when I moved back in with you.

I thought it would be more like the old days!

I mean, maybe it’s just the milk talking,

but I’m starting to feel

like a third... wheel.

‐[gasps] ‐[phone beeps]

[voicemail robot] You have left a very long voicemail.

Girl, are you sure about this?

Press one to send. To try again, press two.

‐[beeps] ‐Hey, buddy!

Just calling to say see you in a bit!

Or not! No big deal, no big deal.

‐Okay, chill ya later! ‐[phone beeps]

I’m so glad we’re hanging out.

Me too! Thanks for saying yes.

And you brought your friend!

I’m her buffer.

Oh, okay, so, Bertie, um...

Her bodyguard!

So, Speckle‐‐

Her chaperoni!

‐Capisce? ‐ì certo.

‐You ready? ‐We’ll share a shake, please.

What flavor?

Choco‐choco‐chocolate‐ choco‐chip...

‐[laughs, mumbles] ‐Mocha choco‐cocoa mocha‐chip!

‐[blabbers] ‐[cackles]

‐[both laugh] ‐[sighs]

And I’ll have a plate

of frenchy‐fraunchy‐fries... [babbles]

[clears throat]

Uh, frence, frence fried.

Bertie, this dude’s weird.

‐Tuca... ‐It’s okay, he knows!

You know, right?

I’m gonna go wash my hands.

Agh! I scared him off!

Maybe we should just make an excuse to leave.

I don’t know how to do this.

[liquor pouring]

I’m gonna take this shake to go.

What?

I’m gonna take this shake to go.

‐but he likes you. ‐You think so?

And you like him back. I can tell.

You talked about atriums all week!

I’m gonna get out of your way. [gulps]

Okay, but you’ll be up

when I get back from this date, right?

So I can tell you all about it?

Of course. I’ll be there for you.

Good luck getting rid of me!

Where’d Tuca go?

I, uh...

just wanted to hang out with you alone.

That’s cool. Oh, no!

She took your shake. Want some fries?

You can have half that pickle too.

Is it weird I brought my best friend on our date?

That’s okay. I really wanted to see you again.

So if your best friend is part of the deal,

‐sign me up. ‐Yeah?

Of course. I’m super into you,

‐was that not clear? ‐No, I got that.

Okay, good, I just didn’t want that to get lost.

‐It didn’t. ‐Now give me back that pickle.

‐[grunts] ‐[screams]

[both laugh]

‐I’ll see you later, okay? ‐Fine.

It’s cool that I’m going to this show with Bertie, right?

You already said yes, so what does it matter?

What’s the big deal? We can hang out tomorrow.

This is my last free night.

I’m busy at work for the next week.

Is it bad that I wanna spend

every possible free moment with you?

No, but we just spent the whole weekend together.

Do you expect me to work around your schedule?

I mean, why not? You don’t have a job!

Ouch.

I just mean, I work long hours,

helping people.

Sorry if my schedule is inconvenient for you,

but I can’t change it.

[light music]

Hey, hey, roomie! Wow!

I feel like I haven’t seen you in a million years!

[laughs] Yeah, hi, roomie.

Sorry I’ve been gone all weekend.

Ready to go to the show?

You know, I’m, I’m such an idiot.

I forgot I have a bunch of SweetBeak orders

to fill by tomorrow. So... I can’t go.

Oh, okay.

Oh, but that means you can give my ticket to Kara!

Here, you two go together!

Ah. Great.

What’s wrong?

I’m just not sure about things.

Kara said a weird thing and then didn’t apologize.

Something just feels a little off, y’know?

Oh, yeah, that’s totally normal!

Relationships require so much compromise and change.

You’re just not used to it

since you’ve been on your own for so long.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe I just need to try harder.

Go have fun!

I’ll be right here when you get back.

Good luck getting rid of me!

Okay. Thanks, Bertie!

[gentle music]

[sighs]

[squeaking]

[sighs] I wish I could say

it’s the wrong doorknob for the house,

but I’d be lying.

It’s exquisite how it contrasts with the wood.

The perfect pop of color.

[roars]

Wow, and, and look at those porch brackets!

[roars]

Wow, and, and look at those porch brackets!

[roars]

[squeaks]

[boisterous laugh]

[boisterous laughing continues]

[roars in anger]

♪ Sex bugs, sex bugs ♪

♪ Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex Sex bugs! ♪

[audience cheering]

Woo‐hoo!

Ya‐ha!

♪ Sex bug ♪

♪ Sexy, sexy ♪

♪ Buggy bug ♪

Hey! Um, that was weird before.

I don’t want things to be weird between us.

‐Okay. ‐I got you something.

It’s a strawberry milkshake. The best flavor!

Aw, it’s so cute.

Thank you.

We’re okay, right?

‐Um, well, actually, I was‐‐ ‐Great!

[soft ballad music playing]

[soft ballad music continues]

[Sex Bugs] ♪ Sexy, sexy ♪

♪ Buggy bug ♪

Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

[squeaks]

[roars in anger]