Original subtitles

[gentle music]

‐[water splashes] ‐[Plant Teens scream]

[Speckle] Yes.

Yes. I, I can get rid of that part

but a house is like music.

You know, you change one note

‐and the melody is off‐key. ‐[honks]

[Francine] It’s the client’s decision, Speckle.

Just change it.

[sighs] Of course.

‐Thanks, Francine. ‐[phone beeps]

[rumbles]

Argh!

All I wanna do is work

on the fixer‐upper house I bought.

It’s almost ready for us to move into!

‐[wind gusts] ‐[tarp rustles]

No rush on that!

I’m happy to stay here forever!

It’s so frustrating being stuck working

for all these rich clients with terrible taste.

I have good taste

so when do I get to go full Speckle on something?

Hmm. That feels good.

Really good.

Hey, how about a little "architectural tour"?

Around the building?

You mean...

[both moan]

Wait, this is triggering my vertigo!

[both moan]

‐[thuds] ‐Ow!

[Speckle moans]

Wait, what if we get locked out?

[both moan]

‐Oh! ‐You dirty girl.

You like it down here, underneath everything?

Yeah. We’re in the building’s

‐ass! ‐Yeah!

[creepy music]

Ew, what’s that?

Mm.

‐[both moan] ‐[smooches]

Oh!

[theme music]

♪ Tuca & Bertie, Tuca & Bertie

♪ Bertie & Tuca And Tuca & Bertie ♪

♪ Tuca & Bertie ♪ [vocalizes]

[crowd cheers]

‐♪ Tuca ♪ ‐♪ Bertie ♪

[Tuca and Bertie vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues]

[upbeat music]

[shower running]

Something seems different.

Hmm, what’s this?

[paper rustles]

"Dear Current Occupant..."

"Your building is under new ownership."

We’re getting a 25% rent increase!

‐Shit! ‐[door slams open]

You see this shit?

This shitty [bleep] shit [bleep] shit?

[frantic music]

This would not be happening

if not for the untimely demise of Bob.

‐Awoo! ‐Who is Bob?

Our landlord. He perished!

Why are you all not weeping

as I did upon the hearing of this news? Hello?

Well, he never fixed my toilet!

The man was in the hospital, fighting for his life.

And I was in my bathroom, fighting to flush my toilet!

Hey! Follow the fridge!

Hello, ladies.

Are you here for some goodbye sex?

Yuck! Gross, Bruce!

But also, we’re guests here, so, shoes on or off?

Off. Definitely off.

I was priced outta this building and look,

they didn’t even wait for me to leave

before they started renovating!

Makes sense.

Those colors are butt‐ass ugly!

Yo, big beefy, what are you gonna do with that stove?

Eh, probably donate it. Why?

I got my penne all over it.

Which is Italian for noodles and Spanish for penis.

Guess which language I speak, amigo.

[groans]

[whispers] I am not gonna miss this creep.

Hi, hi, hi! Oh, I’m Tyler.

I’m moving into this apartment.

I just came by to take some measurements!

I also brought matcha cupcakes!

Just my way of saying "nice to meet’cha".

[gasps] Cute baking pan.

Here, you can have one, I have extra!

Aw, really? Thanks!

Quit being nice to the gentrifier!

Ooh, kinda like that lamp.

I can’t help it.

She’s so appealing on every level!

Ah! This neighborhood is so authentic!

Yep. I porked that. Screwed that.

Most definitely banged that.

You’re gonna wanna burn your gloves too, hermano.

I really regret getting him Spanish lessons

for his birthday.

[horn honks]

[car door closes]

[chuckles] Oh, no.

I’m not the new landlord.

I’m a friendly face,

here to facilitate communication

between you and it.

Is it a management company or something?

Uh‐huh, yes, to "something"!

A something that is neither a he, nor she, nor they.

But it is green and pervasive

and only interested in continued growth

and guess what?

It’s moss!

Say hello, moss. Just joshing!

It won’t say hello or goodbye. It’s moss.

What about the stupid rent hike? It’s too much!

‐Yeah! ‐It’s too much!

‐[overlapping chatter] ‐We can’t pay that!

It’s moss?

Ooh, yeah, the rent increase is high!

Let me talk to the moss, circle back,

and I let you know what the moss does,

or most likely, does not say.

Because it has no vocal cords.

Like I said, it’s moss!

‐[reverberating] ‐[moss squelches]

[gasps] You’ve made so much progress!

I know it’s not finished yet but‐‐

I know.

We can’t afford the rent increase

and the mortgage for this house at the same time.

I thought you should at least see the place

while we figure out what to do.

Nice cabinets!

while we figure out what to do.

but I know how much you love extra storage space and, well...

the client is always right!

Speckle, you know I’m not your client,

you’re the expert.

I don’t even know the difference

between rounded and sculpted baseboard molding.

You should follow your own artistic impulses!

Really? Nobody ever trusts me to do that!

I’m sure whatever you choose will be great.

Go nuts!

So the difference between rounded

and sculpted baseboards

‐is that‐‐ ‐Please stop.

[indistinct chatter]

[bangs]

Odor! Odor! Something stinks

and it’s our new landlord!

‐[Speckle] Yeah! ‐This rent increase sucks!

It’s moss?

I brought you up here

because we need to fight this moss

for a very important reason.

I hate change and don’t wanna leave!

Me too!

[overlapping chatter]

‐I wanna stay! ‐It’s moss?

We couldn’t afford to leave even if we wanted to.

The relocation fee

is a trash bag full of hamburgers.

[gentle music]

I have a plan!

Oooh, you guys I have FOMO!

What is this? A roof party?

We should hang some bistro lights up here!

Get outta here, gentrifier scum!

Oh, my bad!

Bistro lights would look super pretty.

Okay, people, here’s the deal.

I’m going straight to the mayors of Bird Town!

[gasps] Mayor Tim‐Tam?

That’s right! I have political connections up the wazoo!

And down the wazzat!

[light music]

I ran for mayor of Bird Town to lead this city

on a bold path forward.

And I ran against my twin sister

to uphold the values of the past.

That election against my twin brother

resulted in a tie.

And so, we were elected co‐mayors.

[Tamarind] Vote for us

And so, we were elected co‐mayors.

[both] Completely neutral.

‐No gain. No pain. ‐No gain. No pain.

[both] That’s the Tim‐Tam promise.

[announcer] Paid for by the committee

to re‐elect Mayor Tim‐Tam.

It’s perfect!

to re‐elect Mayor Tim‐Tam.

They look like they’re in disrepair.

Well, I want more shots

of the barely‐functioning levees!

[both grunting]

Hey, bro. Hey, sis.

Well, well, well! Look who it is!

Our sister, the selfish jerk!

Are you all still mad at me ’cause I forgot to vote?

It’s not like one vote would have made a difference.

[both] It was a tie!

Eh, that’s what they always say.

Anyways, my rent is getting raised‐‐

Not that we’d even help you.

Because you suck farts!

No way! She spews chunks!

‐Farts! ‐Chunks!

[groans] You idiot!

This building is a historical landmark!

You think I don’t know state law protects it

against renovations and rent hikes,

you frickin’ dumbass?

‐[grunts] ‐[groans]

Hey! Say more things about that!

By the order of a statute adopted in 1943‐‐

Okay, now say less things about it!

‐[groans] ‐[thuds]

If you prove a famous person

did something important somewhere...

No one can change anything about the property.

Even the rent must be stabilized

for historical purposes.

‐[Timbourine grunts] ‐[Tamarind] Argh!

Wow! What a convenient factoid!

Thanks, siblings!

[gentle music]

[paper rustles]

‐[clatters] ‐[rasps]

‐[thumps] ‐[squelches]

[gentle music continues]

[distant whirring]

[creepy music]

[Speckle muttering]

I wanted a doorbell that goes dingaling,

but this one goes doogaloo.

‐[doorbell 1] Doogaloo! ‐Doogaloo?

What? It’s wrong!

‐Hiya! ‐[clatters]

Have you been up all night?

Sure have!

So, what do you think?

[chiming]

‐Um... ‐I didn’t wanna limit myself

so I used every color of tile! [laughs]

Ah...

At first, I felt wracked by indecision, right?

So many interior details I’ve been wanting to try,

how could I possibly choose?

Then I realized.

I should use all of my ideas.

At once!

[gasps]

Wow! Huh, a spiral staircase!

I... love it!

It definitely doesn’t look like

an infinite descent into madness!

Bertie, it’s such a dream

to finally work without constraints.

A house, a house is like a music,

and this is my noise album.

[laughs insanely]

‐[doorbell 2] Dongalong! ‐Damn it!

[cheerful music]

‐[yelping] ‐Bertie, you’re safe!

Sorry, I’m awake!

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep

in Speckle’s weird house.

You can always crash with me.

We can share my bed.

Head to toe! Feet to beak! Booty to mouth.

Nope, too far.

[tea pouring]

Ah, yes.

Slumber eluded me as well.

Woe! Woe is me!

I was forced to sell my mother’s prized glove collection

to pay this onerous rent increase.

[clears throat] As you were saying,

you propose to prove

this building is worth preserving?

That’s right. You’ve been here forever, Dapper Dog!

Did you ever see anything historical happen?

Hmmm.

[sniffs]

[Dapper Dog] The oldest thing I remember would have to be

‐ the day I moved in... ‐[knock on door]

Oh, thank goodness!

And here I was worried my new neighbor would be a square.

[Dapper Dog] Surveying her visage

and her body robed in bohemian thread,

she engraved my destiny!

Name’s Patricia. Ramsey.

The pleasure is yours... [laughs]

...and several others. [smooches]

But enough about me,

and the ribald tales of my unsavory behavior,

all true, what’s your label, sailor?

[Dapper Dog] Patricia was a famed horror novelist!

Her greatest triumph, her debut novel,

What If A Car Was Evil?

Hmmm. [Dapper Dog laughs]

Without that wonderful woman,

I never would have written my one‐dog show.

[thunder crashes]

And been transformed into a free‐wheeling, non‐conformist,

unencumbered by societal norms.

You’re saying the Patricia Ramsey

lived in this building?

Yes, as I recall,

Patricia resided in the same apartment

in which Tuca currently lives.

Wow! So now we gotta find her

and ask if anything historical happened here!

Huh. It says here she died a few years ago.

‐I have an idea! ‐Oh!

We need to speak to your daughter!

Martha, some neighbors are here to see you!

Martha?

How can I help you?

What the Frick!

[creepy music]

Ooh, I love your decorating scheme.

It reminds me of Bertie.

Why are there posters of me everywhere?

I just think you’re so cool.

Martha! Spore, darling, I made you all a snack!

Eff off, Dad!

Now, we need to do something witchy.

You’re into that spooky gothy shizz. Can you help?

[soft music]

[thunder rumbles]

[soft music continues]

[crackles]

[Plant Teen 2] Infernal specters of perdition,

consider this our formal petition.

[Martha] We call you forth from the damned.

Onto this evil, twisted plantagram.

[Plant Teen 3 burps]

[explodes]

What the devil is happening?

What did I drink and where can I get another?

We raised you from the dead to ask you a question,

which, in retrospect, we could have looked up online.

What? But I’m not dead! I’m alive!

‐What? ‐Oh, crap!

I was just driving to the store!

People are going to think my car really did go evil!

[Tuca, Bertie, and Plant Teens scream]

Just kidding. I’m dead.

That was another patented Patricia Ramsey twist

on a well‐worn horror trope.

‐[sighs] ‐[Plant Teen 2] Oh, yeah.

So, what’s buzzin’, cousins?

What do you want?

‐An autograph? Epigraph? ‐[camera clicks]

You could try a photograph but I might not show up!

[cackles]

Did you do anything historical here?

Like sign a treaty or invent a new sex position?

Oh, no, mostly stuck to the classics.

But I did write the first draft of What If A Car Was Evil?

on the very walls of this place.

[scrapes]

[Martha groans]

Why’d you write on your own wall?

I’m a horror writer.

It’s the spookiest way

‐to write. ‐Hmm.

It’s the spookiest way

You’re in Hell?

Oh, yes. It’s terrifying.

I love it!

[upbeat music]

Speckle? I, I brought you take‐out.

‐[spray hisses] ‐Wow.

This is very, um...

exposed.

Yes! Yes, you see what I see.

This clear glass shower represents transparency,

a house without secrets.

And so does this clear glass toilet.

[screams]

No! I’m sorry!

But, Speckle, no, no to all of this!

But, but this is an expression of myself,

as an architect.

As an artist.

Ah... Let me think

of a constructive way to say this.

This is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.

And I just hung out with a freaking ghost.

Sweetie? I think you got a little carried away

with the conceptual stuff.

We need a home.

[scoffs]

A "home"?

May I dance with the muses for a moment of grace

in this wretched world?

Or must I always,

always, be dragged back to earth

by the shackles of "good taste"?

What?

[smooches]

Okay...

[smooching]

[upbeat music]

Yes, this all meets

the "Bird Town Register of Historical Places" criteria.

Congratulations, ma’am.

This apartment is officially history!

Oh, my god!

You did it, Tuca!

Yep, this single unit is protected.

The rest of the building, not so much!

Wait, what?

Fantastic!

The moss would be thrilled if it could be.

But it can’t because it’s moss.

So, my apartment is all good, right?

My rent won’t go up?

Yep!

‐[moss squelches] ‐Great news!

Now, the moss can focus all its energy

on slowly converting the rest of the building

into luxury lofts, and eventually, a bank!

‐What? ‐Don’t worry.

It will have a cute, little coffee shop,

complete with a customers‐only restroom!

[Bonnie cackles]

Bummer about our new "zero pets allowed" policy.

If it were up to me,

I would allow all the pets in the world.

Cuddled up in a big bed together!

[laughing heartily]

Oh, no!

Draca, I’m so sorry.

[engine rumbles]

[engine starts, revs]

[engine rumbles]

[Draca sobs, sniffles]

Aw, dang.

That stinks.

At least it’s no longer my problem!

Tuca? What about Draca and Dapper Dog

and the cactus family and me?

[Speckle] Bertie!

‐[dramatic music] ‐Bertie!

Are you okay?

Oh, sorry, I now realize how dramatic this looks.

Um...

[sighs] I’m sorry, Bertie.

Without any creative limitations,

I... I became the worst,

most masturbatory version of myself.

Yeah, you did get kinda sploojazzy.

Our house shouldn’t be my masterpiece.

I need your input

so we can build the best home together.

Also, I got rid of the glass toilet.

Oh, well, hello, nasty princess.

[groans]

If you wanna give up the house

and keep renting our apartment, I understand.

We can’t stay here.

I mean, look at this place.

[reverberating]

[Speckle] Well, in that case...

Bertie... will you choose the doorknob

for our new house?

Oh, Speckle! Uh, let’s see... how about this guy?

[Speckle groans]

What? Is it ugly?

Oh, no, it’s gorgeous.

It won Best Doorknob of the year at The Knobbies.

But it’s only available from a store

really far away.

Oh, I can just pick a different one.

No, no. No, I’ll go pick one up.

Okay, if it’s really no biggie.

I’ll call you when I land!

And when the boat docks.

And after I reach the first outpost. Love you!

Love you too!

It is the nicest doorknob.

[singing] ♪ I’m eating an egg ♪

♪ And I don’t mind eating Somebody’s baby ♪

♪ I’m a toucan Do your research ♪

♪ We eat other birds eggs ♪

It’s not your fault, Tuca.

Everyone else just needs

to find a famous person that lived in their apartment

and they’ll all be fine.

Don’t be so sure.

Ah! Patricia Ramsey!

That’s right!

It’s so pleasurable to be remembered.

Now, take a gander at your wall, darling.

[gasps]

Now, take a gander at your wall, darling.

Does that mean...

You’re a part of this too, Tuca.

This place has been renovated

and the rent has been raised over and over and over again.

For decades.

I’m no better than the moss!

Or the gentrifiers!

Ciao!

I brought you more cupcakes! [gasps]

Wow, is that a ghost?

[Tyler] This building just gets cooler by the minute!

This has all happened before.

This displacement will keep happening, all around us,

in every city,

and that’s the spookiest story of them all.

[gasps]

[clatters]

Okay, now, I’m going back to Hell, for realsies.

Bertie! Bertie! Bertie!

Time to save the building!

This whole place is full of history!

‐Eeep! ‐Ack!

This is the room where Dapper Dog

tirelessly rehearsed his one‐dog show!

I still recall every syllable!

Flash! I am born,

lying on my mother’s motherly bosom...

It was bad!

Historically bad!

And here’s where Martha first told her father to eff off!

She was no longer my little girl.

She was my... my rude, grown woman.

Aw, shut the eff up, Dad!

And this is where Draca acquired her 78th turtle,

just barely beating the Bird Town Turtle Museum

and the Bird Town Turtle Emporium

for the largest collection of turtles in Bird Town!

Why aren’t all these moments worthy of preservation?

[Tuca] Who’s to say these lives aren’t historical?

It’s people who imbue our buildings with true importance.

It’s people who make up a city.

Without all of these unique individuals,

this building is just an empty, lifeless husk.

[sniffles, groans]

[both sniffle]

Oh, come on. [sniffles]

Oh, I wish I could help, I really do.

But surely, your speech could move

even the most emotionless of building owners.

No. It’s moss. It has no soul.

So no movement on that front.

Sorry!

‐[Lalo] What? ‐This sucks.

‐Oh, man! ‐It’s moss?

[somber music]

Son, you may be a puppy

but you’ll never be an actor/playwright.

[clinks]

[somber music continues]

[burbles]

[wind gusts]

‐Tuca. ‐Hmm?

Can I still take you up on that?

Yeah. It’ll be fun!

Like a slumber party.

I’ll even dip your hand in warm water while you sleep

so you pee the mattress.

Uh, but that’s your mattress.

What would you do then?

I don’t know, Bertie.

I just don’t know.

‐[reverberating] ‐[moss squelches]

[upbeat music]

[blows air]

[scrapes]