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[theme music playing]
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[narrator] This is Dawson City
in the Klondike.
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The year 1896.
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-[man 1] Gold.
-[man 2] Gold.
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-[man 3] Gold.
-[man 4] Gold.
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[men] Gold!
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[narrator] Overnight, Dawson mushroomed
into a roistering,
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lawless, gold-mad boomtown.
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[gunshot]
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-[gunshot]
-[people chattering]
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Yes, there was fun for everyone.
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Down the street, the bunch of the boys
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were whopping it up
at the Malibu Saloon...
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[patrons chattering]
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...when a stranger walked in
with a bag of gold.
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A simple-looking goon.
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-Hi, fellas. Hi.
-[gold thudding]
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Give me a straight shot of carrot juice
over the rocks.
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Yes, sir.
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Struck it rich, eh?
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Nah. I goofed.
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Everybody talking about carrots
around here
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and dig 'em like crazy.
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And all I get is shovels full of
these little yellow rocks.
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Say, that's pretty.
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You like it? Keep it.
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I'm gonna keep the rest of them
for souvenirs.
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Well, here's mud in your eye.
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[gunshot]
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[gunshot]
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Hey, now who'd do
a dirty trick like that?
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Blacque Jacque Shellacque, that's who.
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Meh!
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What's up, Jacque?
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Your hands up. That's what.
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[laughs raucously]
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Oh, no, you don't.
You go dig up your own rocks.
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These are mine and I'm keeping 'em.
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You wanna bat?
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You bet I wanna bat.
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Oh-ho! You like gamble, huh?
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-Well, I...
-Okay, we gamble. For this.
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That seems fair enough. I think.
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We play 21.
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Well, how do you play it?
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I've played Old Maid
and Pishe Pasha couple of times.
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Just for matches.
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I deal the cards.
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The one that gets nearest
but not over 21 wins.
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Okay, deal 'em out.
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Hold it.
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Can I stand on one card?
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One card?
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Oh! Sure, sure. [laughs]
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Okay, I'll play this.
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[laughs]
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Ten for me, and another ten...
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is 20.
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Beat that.
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[laughs boisterously]
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Okay, I win. Twenty-one.
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Har har, hardy har har.
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Well, that's the way the ball bounces.
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Somebody's gotta lose,
somebody's gotta win.
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[grunts in frustration]
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Nobody wins from
Blacque Jacque Shellacque.
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They don't? How come?
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'Cause Blacque Jacque Shellacque
is roughest, toughest
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muklukest Canuck in the Klondike.
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That's why.
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Ha! That's funny.
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There's a guy in that room over there
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says he's twice as rough
and tough as you are.
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Oh, yeah? [chuckles]
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He's gonna be fun, you bet.
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-[Blacque] You think you tough, huh?
-[Bugs] Yup.
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[Blacque] You think you tougher than me?
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[Bugs] Yup.
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-[Blacque] You wanna try draw gun?
-Yup, yup.
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[laughs]
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A pop gun.
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Well, Monsieur Tough Guy,
I'm gonna pull your cork!
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[muffled laugh]
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-[bullet ricochets]
-Oops!
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[imitates telephone ringing]
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Hello?
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It's for you, BJ.
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Says she's Fifi from Montréal.
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[wolf whistles]
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Fifi?
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Hello, Fifi baby.
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That Fifi...
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she is a blast.
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Yikes!
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Hand it over, rabbit.
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[banging on door]
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Okay, okay. I surrender.
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Here, take it, take it.
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[laughs raucously]
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Adieu, sucker.
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[continues laughing]
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I'm rich!
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I'm rich! I'm rich!
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90% bracket.
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[laughs] I'm rich.
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[loud explosion]
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Gee, those northern lights
are pretty this time of year.
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[laughs]
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Oh, boy! The fun you can have
with a bunch of old rocks
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and a can of yellow paint.
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On, Oatmeal.
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Mush, mush, mush.
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[Oatmeal barking]
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[theme music playing]
7350
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