Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[narrator] This is Dawson City in the Klondike.

The year 1896.

-[man 1] Gold. -[man 2] Gold.

-[man 3] Gold. -[man 4] Gold.

[men] Gold!

[narrator] Overnight, Dawson mushroomed into a roistering,

lawless, gold-mad boomtown.

[gunshot]

-[gunshot] -[people chattering]

Yes, there was fun for everyone.

Down the street, the bunch of the boys

were whopping it up at the Malibu Saloon...

[patrons chattering]

...when a stranger walked in with a bag of gold.

A simple-looking goon.

-Hi, fellas. Hi. -[gold thudding]

Give me a straight shot of carrot juice over the rocks.

Yes, sir.

Struck it rich, eh?

Nah. I goofed.

Everybody talking about carrots around here

and dig 'em like crazy.

And all I get is shovels full of these little yellow rocks.

Say, that's pretty.

You like it? Keep it.

I'm gonna keep the rest of them for souvenirs.

Well, here's mud in your eye.

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

Hey, now who'd do a dirty trick like that?

Blacque Jacque Shellacque, that's who.

Meh!

What's up, Jacque?

Your hands up. That's what.

[laughs raucously]

Oh, no, you don't. You go dig up your own rocks.

These are mine and I'm keeping 'em.

You wanna bat?

You bet I wanna bat.

Oh-ho! You like gamble, huh?

-Well, I... -Okay, we gamble. For this.

That seems fair enough. I think.

We play 21.

Well, how do you play it?

I've played Old Maid and Pishe Pasha couple of times.

Just for matches.

I deal the cards.

The one that gets nearest but not over 21 wins.

Okay, deal 'em out.

Hold it.

Can I stand on one card?

One card?

Oh! Sure, sure. [laughs]

Okay, I'll play this.

[laughs]

Ten for me, and another ten...

is 20.

Beat that.

[laughs boisterously]

Okay, I win. Twenty-one.

Har har, hardy har har.

Well, that's the way the ball bounces.

Somebody's gotta lose, somebody's gotta win.

[grunts in frustration]

Nobody wins from Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

They don't? How come?

'Cause Blacque Jacque Shellacque is roughest, toughest

muklukest Canuck in the Klondike.

That's why.

Ha! That's funny.

There's a guy in that room over there

says he's twice as rough and tough as you are.

Oh, yeah? [chuckles]

He's gonna be fun, you bet.

-[Blacque] You think you tough, huh? -[Bugs] Yup.

[Blacque] You think you tougher than me?

[Bugs] Yup.

-[Blacque] You wanna try draw gun? -Yup, yup.

[laughs]

A pop gun.

Well, Monsieur Tough Guy, I'm gonna pull your cork!

[muffled laugh]

-[bullet ricochets] -Oops!

[imitates telephone ringing]

Hello?

It's for you, BJ.

Says she's Fifi from Montréal.

[wolf whistles]

Fifi?

Hello, Fifi baby.

That Fifi...

she is a blast.

Yikes!

Hand it over, rabbit.

[banging on door]

Okay, okay. I surrender.

Here, take it, take it.

[laughs raucously]

Adieu, sucker.

[continues laughing]

I'm rich!

I'm rich! I'm rich!

90% bracket.

[laughs] I'm rich.

[loud explosion]

Gee, those northern lights are pretty this time of year.

[laughs]

Oh, boy! The fun you can have with a bunch of old rocks

and a can of yellow paint.

On, Oatmeal.

Mush, mush, mush.

[Oatmeal barking]

[theme music playing]