Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[country music playing]

[buzzing]

[thudding]

Yeesh!

I zigged when I should've zagged.

Hmm.

I wonder where I'm at.

The Ozarks?

Hey, what a perfect spot to spend my vacation at.

I'll bet there's no one around here for miles and miles.

Well, uh, better tidy up my diggings a little.

Elvis. Elvy boy.

Huh?

Fetch my long-distance seeing glasses, Elvy boy.

My nose is twitching

like there's eating vittles moving around down there.

-Here it is, Pappy. -You look through them, Elvy.

On account of I'm facing in the wrong direction.

[Elvis] Well, blow my weevil, you was right, Pappy.

There's a sure enough long-legged rabbit critter down there.

And I'm gonna get me down there

and catch me that little old rabbit

with this little old carrot.

That's what I'm gonna do.

[thudding]

Uh-oh, looks like I got company.

Well, here we go with the carrot bit.

I got him. I-I got the little old rabbit critter, Pappy.

And we is gonna fry him up

nice and brown with collard greens--

[thumping]

[thudding]

What you gonna do with that snake, Doc?

Snake? Get him off me, boy. Get him off of me.

Here. Y'all hold on to him

and I'll fetch my shooting iron and help you Kill it.

[sighs] He may be a buzzard to his pappy,

but to me he's a first-class pigeon.

Where is he? Where's that old snake at?

Snake? There ain't no snakes around here, Mac.

Now, if you're hunting snakes--

I ain't hunting no snakes.

I'm a-hunting a rabbit. That's what I'm hunting. Rabbit?

Why, you low-down, sneaking old rabbit critter.

I'm gonna fix you good. That's what I'm gonna do.

-[gunshot] -Oops.

You missed me, Doc.

- I better get a little closer. -Now, you stop that, critter.

Stand still. Hear? I'm warning you, rabbit.

Y'all stand still now or I'll blow your plunkin' head off.

[groans]

Hmm, that's what I call making a good impression.

[chuckling]

Elvis, ain't you caught that eating rabbit yet?

- I almost got him, Pappy. -[in alluring voice] Hello there, y'all.

Be y'all looking for someone, sugar?

I sure purely be.

[purring]

[barking, howling]

Who y'all looking for, honey?

[gushing]

-Y'all. -For little old me?

What for, good-looking?

'Cause you're pretty and you've got pretty eyes

and a real pretty dress.

And 'cause you're that there

little old rabbit critter I've been fixing to shoot.

And now I'm aiming to do it, you pretty little thing.

Yikes!

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

All right now, come on out of there. Hear?

[in normal voice] No, no. That's not the way it's done, Doc.

You gotta say,

"If you're not out of there by the time I count to four,

I'm gonna shoot you."

-Get it? - Isure enough do.

I counts to four and then I shoot you.

That's right. Start counting.

Uh...

One...

Um...

[chuckling]

I figured counting wouldn't be his strongest suit.

[Elvis] Eh, rabbit critter, uh, what come after one?

-Oh, uh, two, I think. -Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Uh, uh, one, uh, two... Um...

One, uh, two...

-Three. -Uh, three. Three...

Pappy? What come after three in counting, Pappy?

-Four, Elvis. -[Elvis] What y'all say?

I said "four."

[gunshot]

I plugged him, Pappy. I plugged the rabbit critter.

[Pappy] Elvis boy, y'all didn't plug no rabbit critter.

Y'all plugged your Pappy. Now, what y'all wanna do that for?

Four?

[gunshot]

Now, Elvis, you've gone too far.

[gunshot]

I said "far," not "four."

[gunshot]

Now you done it, Elvis. Just wait till I get my two-by-four.

[gunshot]

Nah. Why should I get in the act?

[singing] I'm looking over A four-leafed clover

[gunshot]

That I overlooked before

[gunshot]

-Before. Before. Before. -[gunshots]

[theme music playing]