Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Season 3, Season 3.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ah, jeez.

Two hours of my precious life wasted

waiting to get a friggin' package.

I'm a captain of a spaceship.

I got more important things to do than this.

Like what?

Well, for example, I could have been

home-washed with big [BLEEP]

eating [BLEEP]

Customer number 4815162342WINDOW6.

Please.

Finally, you have any idea how long we had to wait?

You people have got to get a better system.

Mind a rather nasty letter to--

Talk to the hand, 'cause the ears don't want to hear

it.

Here, this notice says you got a package for me.

One moment, processing.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What the hell?

Stand still for ID confirmation.

Oh.

Mr. Chaud McBlob and Cyber Sack Slave 6 confirmed.

Keep moving.

Oh, now you're in a hurry?

Keep moving, keep moving.

Ah, go flush yourself a stainless steel turd.

[BLEEP]

You, [BLEEP]

you, [BLEEP]

you.

Whoa!

Yeah!

What?

Hm?

Let's go, kid.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Here, open this in case it's a bomb.

Oh, why not?

I just finished watching Jessica Simpson and that

moronic dukes of hazard.

What's one more bomb?

Oh, no.

It couldn't be.

[BABY CRYING]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it can't be.

I thought we found that damn singing monkey, the

perfect home.

That devil lady said she was crazy about him.

Look, there's a note from her.

Hm.

What? What?

Well, apparently he wrote his name over and over

again on her wall.

Big deal.

It is when you use your own monkey poop to do it.

Yeah.

Remind me never to shake that monkey's hand.

[BABY CRYING]

It's been a long time.

Oh, no.

That god-osle monkey's still singing.

I think we should flush it down the nearest john,

so we'll never have to hear it again.

Have you come up yet, you coo?

Did you hear what that filth-pot primate just said to

me?

Well, he may have bad hygiene, but his gay darts damn

good.

How did we ever get this nasty singing chimp diamond

in the first place?

Well, I want him in a game of poker.

Now I know where the guy folded with four aces.

Come on, six.

Bob, what's that silent?

Cops.

[SCREAMING]

Everybody stay calm.

Everybody stay calm.

Yeah, it would help if you'd stop screaming.

Everybody stay calm at the top of your friggin lungs.

Why are the cops chasing us on this show?

No, what makes you think I would know?

I say we pull over.

We have nothing to hide.

Joe, she's right.

We should pull over.

We do have nothing to hide, right?

[LAUGHING]

Yeah, well, of course we have nothing to hide.

Right after I get rid of this highly illegal stuff, I'm

hiding.

[LAUGHING]

What's that, Uncle Chud?

Er, oregano?

Oregano?

Well then, it belongs in my spice rack.

Give it here.

Whoa, that's a really good herb, dude.

What?

Eject it, Bob, into space so it's not found on us.

What's the hurry, man?

Hey, anybody else got the munchies or is it just me?

No, I'll do it.

Hey, what are you doing?

You're going to kill my post, bro.

[SIRENS]

Bob, now's our chance to give those jokers the slip.

Step on it.

Dude, right after I finish eating this bag of marshmallows.

[GRUNTING]

You all believe the incredible police chase I'm

watching live on the 6 o'clock news?

Some losership full of dumbasses is thinking they can

outrun the cops.

[SIRENS]

Get him!

Cut the jerks off!

That's what I'm talking about.

Now lock him up and throw away the key.

Hey, that's us.

Huh?

Sorry about not stopping, officer, but we were just

on our way to church and we didn't want to miss the

sermon.

I'm not high, man.

I'm not on anything illegal, just so you know.

I don't want to go to jail.

Showed me do it.

Don't move.

You're under arrest.

So long, child.

Say I'm present.

Bye, Uncle Chod.

Make me a license plate.

A hint from Heloise.

She said dropping the soap in the jailhouse shower is

a great way to make new friends.

[GASPING]

I'm charging you with armed robbery.

Oh, there must be some mistake.

And you may, it's sister.

Sit.

I don't know what these cops are talking about, Chod.

I don't believe it.

There's no way our six was involved in anything

crooked.

Let's take a look once again at the security camera

footage that helped police positively identify this

brazen thief.

Wow, you can't deny it.

That's six all right, stealing dilithium crystals.

Six?

A faith?

Well, I didn't want to say anything, but we have been

missing the odd sock from the dryer over the years.

Come to think of it, she did tell me this morning

that these new collots didn't make my ass look big.

Obviously, she's a liar.

Ah, gee.

You bang a chick twice a day for years, and you think

you know her.

Ah, six.

Committing all those robberies and never telling the

people nearest and dearest to her?

I just can't believe it.

She's broken his heart.

I just can't believe the little cyber bitch didn't

sweat the loot with me.

Oh, that was touching.

I think we can forget the broken heart theory.

You gotta have one to break one.

How did she do it? When did she do it?

Right under my nose. She made a fool of me.

Reality check. When did six ever have time to leave

the ship?

She does everything around here, including you.

Captain, I've tracked the cop's ship to a nearby

prison substation. How do you want to proceed?

Well, we could go through years and years of costly

legal battles and even costlier appeals,

which would, of course, use up all the money that I

put aside to fix the soda machine.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

We could just sneak in there and bust her out.

Oh, we must get out there.

Okay, Bob, set a course for that women's jail before

she's transferred to a maximum security prison,

and we lose her for good.

Gladly, Captain. I've always wanted to run my scanners

over a sub-block full of bad girls.

♪ Let's go party,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry.со

♪

♪ Let's go party,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry.со

♪

♪ Let's go party,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry.со

♪

Would you shut up before I ring your f***ing neck?

♪ Let's go party,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry,соry.со

♪

Apparently you eat out a lot in prison.

That's right, honey.

And tonight you are on the menu.

[ALL LAUGH]

I don't get it.

Why do I have to play Butch Prison Guard

and put my life on the line to spring sex?

What has she ever done for me?

Well, if you must know, she's the only one on the

ship

who doesn't pretend to like you to your face,

then tear you to shreds behind your back

when you leave the room.

Oh, really?

The only one?

Um, besides me, of course.

[SQUAWKING]

What are you still doing here?

You need to slam sex out of the snatch.

I mean, snatch sex out of the slammer.

Bob, beam to nook to the prison space station now!

Bob?

What?

Sorry, I can't seem to get all that girl on girl

nasty out of my head.

Look, Bob, it's tough for all of us.

I've rubbed my tentacles wrong thinking about it,

but we have to focus.

And I wonder how many girls do us so?

I wonder, do you think they push all their cots

together

and just roll around on the dirty floor,

scratching and biting each other like a pack of wild

cats?

[GASPING]

What was I saying?

We were all going to focus on saving six

before it was too late.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Knock it off, Bob, and beam to nook the hell out of

here.

Aye, aye, captain.

OK, girls, spread them.

Any one of you could be hiding a shiv

where the sun don't shine.

You cyberjugs, you're next.

Are you here to save me?

It's always about you, isn't it?

Well, in this case, yes, it is.

I'm not a thief.

I was framed.

Yeah, and I don't need grapes in the supermarket

without paying for them.

Whatever, we're breaking you out.

Why didn't Bob just beam me out of here?

The prison has a force field around the cell block

area.

I've got to get you into a clear area in the visitors

transport room.

When?

I'll come get you during the next visitors' hour

until then, hold tight, just so I don't look

suspicious.

I'm going to search some more cavities.

You wouldn't believe what I found

with the last girl's enchilada, a dope sequoza,

and it was still cold.

What's happened at that prison, Bob?

Well, in cell block C, one girl's

giving another girl a massage.

It all looks on the up and up, but I

can swear I've seen her hand straight at the other

girl's

no-no place a couple of times.

I meant what's happened in the six.

Gee, I have in the clue.

She's in a totally different cell block.

We'll get on it and stay on it.

If Tanook doesn't pull this off, we could lose six

forever.

Tanook, is that you?

You got a visitor.

Who are you?

I guess you could say I'm your mother.

My mother?

Well, I'm not your father, unless your dad's

got boobs like these.

I'm an android.

I don't have a mother.

Well, in a way you do.

I'm the woman you were patterned after by your

creator.

I was the top build stripper in a cheap club.

Gentlemen, please welcome to our stage

the one, the only half a dozen.

Some nerd came in every night.

I asked around, and they said he was a scientist

at some high tech cyber lab.

He looked at me like I was something under a

microscope.

It was pretty obvious he had the hots for me.

What I didn't know was that in exchange

for those lousy dollar tips, he was secretly filming

me

with a holographic camera.

By the time I found out he'd made a cyber clone of me,

you'd been sold.

But of course, I never saw any of that money.

I got tired of making chump change instead of the big

bucks,

so I started stealing big time, robbing dilithium

crystals

from suckers and reselling them on the black market.

So it was you.

That's right.

They think I'm you.

I'm off the hook now that you're in here.

Then why did you come?

I just had to see you with my own eyes.

It was more than curiosity, wasn't it?

In a way, I'm a part of you.

I'm done here.

You're not going to let me rot in prison, are you?

Honey, I learned a long time ago to care about one

person only,

and that's me.

And anyway, you're just a cyborg.

Nothing more than a bucket of bolts, really.

Gaurd!

You're not going to get away with this.

I have something you'll never have,

something more valuable than money.

And that's friends.

Friends who are circling the space station right now

and are planning my escape.

I'll never let you get away with this.

[GUNSHOTS]

What were you thinking yelling like that?

I told you I'd come and get you when the time was

right, Six.

Oh, you mean to rescue me and take me back to the

ship?

Duh.

There's a reason I'm the brains of this operation and

not you.

You've got the wrong--

Shut up down there.

We'll throw you in solitary.

Sounded pretty real, huh?

I'm still in here.

Bob, lock on my signal.

Toot a beam up.

Help!

Oh.

Oh, baby, I missed you so much.

How about we order a pizza and hit the sack early

for a little ar-a-n-ar?

Rough and rachy.

[MUTTERING]

You've got to be kidding.

I'd rather choke on my own vomit.

Oh, I get it.

My manly stubble is a bit too much for you

after all those soft lady cheeks.

Yeah.

Well, don't worry.

I'll give you time.

Yeah, a lot of it.

Welcome home, Six.

That lizard thing speaks?

Hm?

I mean, I feel like I haven't seen you all for weeks.

Thank god whoever tried to frame me

didn't take our dilithium crystals.

They're still safe in what room of the ship again?

Oh, you know where we've always kept them.

By the way, love the hair.

I read in Cosmos, streaks are in.

Oh, well, don't get used to it.

I'm going to change it back.

Hey, Six, when did you start smoking?

You pick up a lot of nasty habits in prison.

And I want to hear about every one of them.

Hey, how about we go to my room and bang out

some of the nuts and kinks from all those crazy sex

positions

you and the girls got in?

No way.

I mean, I need time to freshen up.

Alone.

[BANGING]

Bish.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Keep it moving.

Keep it moving.

[SQUAWKING]

[GASPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Gotta get out of here and warn Chod and the others.

Hey, did you just hear what she called you?

Huh?

What the bitch say?

Did you hear that?

She just called you a bitch.

I sure did.

And I'm going to wash her mouth out with soap.

[GASPING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Look, it's Ellen the generous and Hors de la Rossi.

Where? Where?

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This way.

The trouble's in there.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Am I the only one who thinks Six was acting a bit

odd at dinner?

I mean, putting her cigarette out in the duck

l'orange I made, really?

Nay, if I had as much prison moontang as she's had,

I'd be a little screwy too.

I'm not talking about that.

She's got a hardness about her now.

A coldness in the eyes that I can't quite put my

finger on.

Yeah, prison will do that to you.

When I was in juvenile hall, I had a friend

who was a cell block bitch.

Yeah.

What was his name?

Who?

Your friend.

Oh, that's not important to the story.

Anyway, this friend hated himself for loving it,

so, you know, the whole experience made him cold and

hard.

Well, I think we should do all we can to break

hard shell and get her defenses to crack.

Like how?

Well, I saw this episode of Dr. Phil,

where tough prison girls were confronted by friends

and family members who told them how much they loved

and appreciated them.

You've never seen so many hugs and kisses in your

life.

Oh, kisses, huh?

Well, he might be on to something.

And, oh, I might be back in the sack sooner than I

Okay, everybody, pour on the love.

The next time Six is on the bridge, hand that's in

order.

Here she comes. Commence operation, get me laid.

Hold it right there, Missy.

Oh, so you're on to me.

We are on to you.

On to your pain and your feelings of unworthiness and

self-hatred.

Huh?

Why don't we?

Right.

Now, we just wanted to tell you how much we love,

love, love

and appreciate you.

And what a great job you've done and always do.

And how we've all come to depend on you is a true

friend.

This ship wasn't the same without you.

Cut the homework, card crap.

I need you all to load the dilithium crystals onto

the transporter.

Now.

But Six, let's come over you.

She's not Six, kid. I just remembered.

Six hates the smell of cigarettes.

She said they set off for a cyber smoke alarm.

He's right. I'm not Six.

I'm the human she was copied from.

You mean Six is based on a human prototype?

Not a bunch of ideal female body parts like in Weird

Science?

That's right, Sherlock.

Why do you think she's so human-like?

Plus, her creator geek had a thing for me.

By the way, Tanook, where's the real Six?

Uh, possibly in a jail cell still yelling,

"I'm in here. You got the wrong Six."

So it was her, not Six, on that day robbing those

ships.

Bingo!

So now you think you're gonna let your own daughter

take the rep over my dead body?

Ow!

Why me?!

You were saying?

Well, Mother Knows Best.

Okay, crystals. Now, move or the salamander gets it.

Hmm. You know, technically, he's a lizard.

What? Salamander's close enough.

(Grunting)

Just where do you plan on beaming all these crystals?

We aren't near anything but an orbiting jail cell.

Ah! Bob, don't let her go!

Don't worry, Captain. I have no intention of letting

her off this ship.

Energize Bob or they get fried.

If she thinks that's gonna change my mind, Captain,

she's sadly mistaken.

No, she's not. Consider your mind changed.

Hurry it up!

Sit it?

Yeah.

You're not going anywhere.

Oh, yeah?

This works for you, Michael Moore!

Hey, as commander of this ship, I order you both to

stop this fight at once!

Okay, if you're gonna fight dirty like that, well,

that's a different story.

Keep fighting! At least until one of you rips the

other's panties off with her teeth, then we'll call

her today.

Hey!

So long, bitch.

You turned out alright, kid.

Mother!

Mother? That space gank just stole all our dilithium

crystals.

More like mother f***!

Faster, Gus! Faster!

That's it!

Captain, there's no way I will ever be able to

generate enough power to make this ship go forward.

Don't say anything about that! I just wanted to have

enough Jews to see Six and her mom's sexy cat fight

one more time.

Toad, what are you doing?

Uh, just getting the tape ready to send to the police

station to clear your name.

Captain, ship approaching.

Mother?

She sent two canisters of dilithium crystals back so

we wouldn't be stranded.

Oh, well, maybe there's hope for that no-good mother

of yours after all.

I know, she's a bad person, but I couldn't help

having feelings for her. Maybe I'm more human than I

thought.

Hey, from the humans I've met, that's nothing to be

proud of.

Till your mother deserves a thank you. I've got just

the gift.

What the hell is this?

Mother?

What an adorable little monkey, and so smart. I'm

going to teach you to write your name.

[music]