Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,480
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:21,440
If I could turn back time.
3
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,420
[MUSIC PLAYING]
4
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,900
[MUSIC PLAYING]
5
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:45,340
Why did you bring me to this awful place?
6
00:00:45,340 --> 00:00:47,860
Because it's guys nine out.
7
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:50,420
And you're about the closest thing to a guy I've got.
8
00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:51,780
Well, except for tonight.
9
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:53,820
But I pretty much can't stand her.
10
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,100
Can I get you something?
11
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,340
What would you recommend?
12
00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:57,980
Sex on the beach.
13
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:58,980
Oh, my.
14
00:00:58,980 --> 00:00:59,780
I'm married.
15
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:02,220
Yes, you see, I just took off the ring to get her to
16
00:01:02,220 --> 00:01:02,780
praise.
17
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:03,980
I forgot sex.
18
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,860
You're not after your rotten pistons.
19
00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:07,020
It's a drink.
20
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:09,140
Oh, silly me.
21
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:13,100
Well, I really want to have sex with you on the beach.
22
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,740
Well, I'm just not a sad person.
23
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:16,580
That's what it is.
24
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,180
You suck.
25
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:18,980
Leave me alone.
26
00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:20,300
She wasn't my type.
27
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:20,800
Why?
28
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,900
Because you had a vagina.
29
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:25,020
For the last time, I am not gay.
30
00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:26,180
Oh, my gosh, we're missing Oprah.
31
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,140
[CHEERING]
32
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:31,620
[MUSIC PLAYING]
33
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:36,620
You'd think I mentioned E.F. Hutton.
34
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:38,700
No, it's OK, folks.
35
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,860
He's just drunk off his ass.
36
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,300
Don't follow me.
37
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,580
Hey, show.
38
00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:47,380
Why don't you join us?
39
00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:50,580
My son was 11 when he hit his first home run.
40
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:52,860
Adam didn't hit a home run until he was 12.
41
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,410
But then again, that was with Howard's daughter and
42
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:55,580
me,
43
00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:57,180
backseat of a convertible.
44
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,500
My daughter's such a whore.
45
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,940
[LAUGHTER]
46
00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:04,300
So, Chow, how's that nephew of yours?
47
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,420
Pip, is it?
48
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:05,920
Whip.
49
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:06,420
Whip.
50
00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,180
He's, uh, great.
51
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:11,220
The kid can catch flies like nobody's business.
52
00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,380
Unnatural.
53
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:12,980
Really?
54
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,900
Let's get him on the baseball team.
55
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,300
I can't.
56
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:17,460
Why not?
57
00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:20,140
The-- so he catches actual flies,
58
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,260
you know, bugs.
59
00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:22,660
[LAUGHTER]
60
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,530
On the bright side, he can get a summer job as a bug
61
00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:26,500
zapper.
62
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,460
Biggest, I've been getting the best of old Chow
63
00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:30,700
since we were born.
64
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,830
It's only natural that my boy does the same thing to
65
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:34,460
his.
66
00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:36,580
What's so great about Adam 12?
67
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:39,740
Other than being a chip off the old block,
68
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,700
well, he may be the best athlete I've ever seen.
69
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:46,200
Runs in the jeans, handed down from generation to
70
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:46,940
generation.
71
00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:48,860
Like his small penis.
72
00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:50,260
He gets that from his mother.
73
00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:53,500
I've just entered him in the intergalactic X Games.
74
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,700
Oh, what's that?
75
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:57,500
Spaceboarding.
76
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,620
How about Skip, you signing him up?
77
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:02,940
Or don't they have a contest for pest control?
78
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:06,460
Actually, he's a pretty good spaceporter himself.
79
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:08,260
He wasn't going to bother with the X Games.
80
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:09,300
He had no competition.
81
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:12,140
But if your son's looking for a butt-wuppin' whip,
82
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:13,900
we'll be happy to give him one.
83
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:16,440
See, you're not the only one with athletic jeans to
84
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:17,340
hand down.
85
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,500
Thanks to his uncle, Chode, he's got
86
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:23,060
the hand-eye coordination of a finely-tuned cyborg.
87
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,020
[SCREAMING]
88
00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:26,620
I'm sorry.
89
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,980
Really, I'm sorry.
90
00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:31,460
[MUSIC PLAYING]
91
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:36,940
Whip!
92
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,140
[SCREAMING]
93
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:41,380
If I was supposed to do it, I'll do it in a minute.
94
00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:41,940
It's done.
95
00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:42,740
Relax.
96
00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:43,940
I'm not here to yell at you.
97
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:44,860
Gus, quick!
98
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:46,100
Get your medical bag.
99
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,380
Charles, having a mental breakdown.
100
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:49,460
I'm fine.
101
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:50,940
I have a gift for Whip.
102
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:51,940
What's a big deal?
103
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,940
You bought a gift for someone who wasn't you?
104
00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,180
Gus, hurry!
105
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:56,460
It's worse than I thought.
106
00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,420
[GASPING]
107
00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:00,620
[MUSIC PLAYING]
108
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:02,620
Wow, Uncle Chode.
109
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,780
That is so cool.
110
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,380
I noticed your old one was getting, well, a little
111
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,220
old, so.
112
00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:10,060
Hey, I'm just trying to show the lizard
113
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:12,710
a little appreciation for everything he does around
114
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:13,180
here.
115
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:15,340
But you're always saying he doesn't do anything.
116
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,660
I knew if he just kept at it, his lack of hard work
117
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,460
would pay off.
118
00:04:18,460 --> 00:04:19,420
Whip, what do you say?
119
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,790
We take this puppy out to the space park for a little
120
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:22,020
test
121
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,020
drive.
122
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:24,300
[GRUNTING]
123
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,220
All the strain of you guys--
124
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,740
and this is a hilarious stupid.
125
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:30,420
He could be a danger to himself or others.
126
00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:31,820
Which end does this go in?
127
00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:34,060
What you get the hell off me?
128
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:35,260
Hurry!
129
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:37,700
If I find out this has been someone's ass,
130
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,340
you're going into a recycle bin.
131
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:42,820
[MUSIC PLAYING]
132
00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:43,780
[BELLS RINGING]
133
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:46,500
[SCREAMING]
134
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:47,620
Check him out.
135
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,540
Whip is actually good at something.
136
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,940
Who you?
137
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,300
Thanks, Uncle Chode.
138
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,940
I'm having a great time.
139
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:55,940
No, you're a natural kid.
140
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:57,740
Hey, you ever thought about competing?
141
00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:59,940
I hear there's some kind of games coming up.
142
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:01,380
The intergalactic X games?
143
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:02,820
Oh, is that what they're called?
144
00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:03,300
Yeah.
145
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,180
What do you think about entering?
146
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,580
Nah, competition isn't my thing, you know?
147
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,020
I'll be your best friend.
148
00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:09,940
I got friends.
149
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,500
Yeah, but you don't have girlfriends.
150
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,420
Think of all the babes you could get.
151
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,140
They love jocks.
152
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:16,060
Check it out.
153
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:20,540
[BELLS RINGING]
154
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,420
Uncle Chode, that's not a girl.
155
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:23,420
That's Tanook.
156
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,620
Beggars can't be choosers.
157
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:26,260
No one's that poor.
158
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,140
Then can I appeal to your sense of family duty?
159
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,420
I'm the only family you've known since your core of a
160
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:31,820
mother
161
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:34,060
dumped you off on the first poor schmuck that agreed
162
00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:34,700
to watch
163
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,420
you while she went out for cigarettes.
164
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,580
I'll do it, Uncle Chode, for you.
165
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:39,380
Good boy.
166
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,620
You're like the son I never wanted.
167
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,300
Ah, head, I mean.
168
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,420
Now get out there and practice.
169
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,580
We've got 16 hours before the park closes.
170
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:50,300
Sucker.
171
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,060
Why all the pressure to compete?
172
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,420
Because he's going to wet the floor with that jerk's
173
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,740
kit.
174
00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:57,180
Time for a little payback.
175
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:59,260
Commander Adams been getting the best of me
176
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:02,500
as far back as I can remember.
177
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,380
And now this year's finalists of the Black Hole
178
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:06,980
Beautiful Baby Contest.
179
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,140
Nice dress.
180
00:06:08,140 --> 00:06:10,580
Hey, I may be wearing sissy clothes,
181
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,820
but I'm still going to kick your ass.
182
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,540
The trophy's mine, baby.
183
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,300
Oh, yeah?
184
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,300
You hungry?
185
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:20,260
Get a load of these milk melons.
186
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,620
Puppy's.
187
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,620
And here they are.
188
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:27,100
[APPLAUSE]
189
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:32,580
Puppy's.
190
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:36,060
[LAUGHTER]
191
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:38,060
[ROARING]
192
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,060
[GROANING]
193
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:42,060
[MUSIC PLAYING]
194
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:46,060
Whoa, the kids got skills.
195
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:49,060
Hey, Twill, looks like you've got some competition.
196
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,060
Dad, give it a rest, will ya?
197
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,710
You know, I came over here to make a little friendly
198
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:54,060
wager
199
00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:57,060
with you and our kids, but now that I see him--
200
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:58,060
No, friendly wager, huh?
201
00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,060
No, it wouldn't be right.
202
00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:05,060
Ooh, sounds like somebody's a little El Boyoloco.
203
00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:07,060
[MUMBLING]
204
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,060
Gosh, I don't know.
205
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,060
All right, you're on.
206
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,060
Oh, pink slips?
207
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:15,360
That'd be great, except I am the shining star of the
208
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:15,660
fleet.
209
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:17,940
And well, if you park yours in the street on trash
210
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:18,140
day,
211
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:21,060
they dump its contents in the garbage truck.
212
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:22,560
That's actually happened twice.
213
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,060
How about Gus?
214
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,060
No.
215
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:27,060
[MUSIC PLAYING]
216
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,060
Mm.
217
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,060
Mm.
218
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:35,060
Oh, yeah.
219
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,660
I'll have what he's having.
220
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,060
You put up six and we've got a bet.
221
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,360
Six for your ship?
222
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,660
Now who's chicken?
223
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:45,660
Chooed?
224
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:46,660
You got a deal.
225
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,660
[SIGHS]
226
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:49,660
No.
227
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,160
Damn it, boy, you're going to win.
228
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,160
I know it.
229
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,660
If I forget to tell you later, thank you.
230
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:55,660
Hey, you know something?
231
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:58,660
This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
232
00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,660
The beginning?
233
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,660
I've known you all my life.
234
00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:03,310
Yeah, but this is the first time I'm willing to admit
235
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:03,660
it.
236
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:04,660
What the hell was that?
237
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,660
What?
238
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,660
That.
239
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,660
Oh, that's Adam 12.
240
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:10,660
I hope I can be that good someday.
241
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:12,160
You got a week.
242
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:17,810
You might as well give up now and save the boy the
243
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:18,660
embarrassment.
244
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,160
Why the long faces, gentlemen?
245
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,160
'Cause Whip here has to win the space board
246
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,160
competition and these sucks.
247
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,160
Hey.
248
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,160
It's not that you suck.
249
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,730
It's that you are clearly subaltern to the best in
250
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,660
the competition.
251
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,530
I don't know what that means, but it sounds better
252
00:08:31,530 --> 00:08:32,160
than sucks.
253
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,160
Oh, I'm so sorry, Whip.
254
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,440
I guess I should have gotten out my thesaurus and
255
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,660
looked up, uh, not good enough to carry
256
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:41,460
the other guy's jock strap and used a word you wouldn't
257
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:43,160
understand to spare your feelings.
258
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,660
Oh, that'd be great.
259
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,660
Then go look up loser and get back to me.
260
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,660
You men in your sports, it's just a game.
261
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:50,660
Get over it.
262
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,160
Just stay out of this, will you?
263
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,160
Why don't you tell her why he has to win?
264
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,160
Neither will I not.
265
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,160
Tell me what?
266
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,160
Nothing really.
267
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,660
You know, I have this little side bet going on now
268
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,660
and I'm probably going to lose something
269
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:04,160
I'd rather not, but you bet.
270
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,160
What did you shut the hell up?
271
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,160
It's nothing, okay?
272
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,160
If Whip loses, Commander Adam wins you.
273
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,650
You know when I've got something big and juicy, I can't
274
00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:14,160
keep my mouth shut.
275
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,160
Wow, Gus, do you listen to yourself?
276
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,660
That was too gay for Will and Grace.
277
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:18,660
Oh, shut up.
278
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:20,660
If anyone's gay around here, it's you.
279
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,160
You're the one that has your ass waxed.
280
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,160
Enough.
281
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,160
Back it up.
282
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,160
You wizard me?
283
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,160
[MIMICS SORRY]
284
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,160
Sort of.
285
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,160
Yeah?
286
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,160
I don't understand.
287
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,160
I thought I meant something to you.
288
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,660
Explain to me how you could let this happen.
289
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,660
You are getting sleepy.
290
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:38,660
You will forget all about my bet.
291
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:41,660
Drop to your knees and open your mouth.
292
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:42,660
Shod, stop it.
293
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:44,660
I can't believe you.
294
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:46,160
When did you plan on telling me?
295
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,660
Well, if Whip won, never.
296
00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,660
Why?
297
00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:50,830
Look, I never would have bet you if I thought I was
298
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:51,660
going to lose.
299
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,660
But you are going to lose?
300
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,660
Pretty much, yeah.
301
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,660
Then get over there and get out of this thing now.
302
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,660
Five Kronix says he's faking the trance.
303
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,660
Well, well, well.
304
00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:06,660
Shod.
305
00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:09,600
You look like a man who finally got to the punchline
306
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,660
and figured out he was the joke.
307
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:14,660
You didn't come here to welch on our bet, did you?
308
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:15,660
No.
309
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,660
No.
310
00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,050
No, but now that you bring it up, taking your ship
311
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:21,660
wouldn't, you know, it just wouldn't be right.
312
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:23,660
I mean, you've got the seat and mirrors adjusted.
313
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:27,100
Just how you like them, I'd be taking advantage of
314
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:27,660
you.
315
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,960
Why would I feel taken advantage of, unless I was,
316
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,660
hmm, you?
317
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:37,070
Twelve and his new coach are working on a 1,080
318
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,660
degree McTwist.
319
00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:40,660
Anybody that pulls that off will win the competition.
320
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:43,660
Nobody's landed that air, but Tony Hawk.
321
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:45,660
Let me introduce you to the coach.
322
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:47,660
Tony Hawk, sucker.
323
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:49,660
Sucker, Tony Hawk.
324
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:52,660
Well, a fifth generation clone, but same difference.
325
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:54,660
Adam Francis Shacknell?
326
00:10:56,660 --> 00:10:58,660
Crap, it's my wife.
327
00:10:58,660 --> 00:10:59,660
At cool.
328
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,660
Adam, I'm talking to you.
329
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:03,660
Hello, Mrs. Shacknell.
330
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,660
Save it, you little Eddie Haskell wannabes.
331
00:11:06,660 --> 00:11:09,660
What time were you supposed to be home?
332
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,660
Uh, when the street lights came on.
333
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,720
I have Alejandro in ten minutes and I need you to
334
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,660
watch the Brats.
335
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:15,660
Alejandro?
336
00:11:15,660 --> 00:11:18,660
My golf pro.
337
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:19,660
But it's dark.
338
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:21,660
How are you gonna play golf in the-
339
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:22,660
That's none of your business.
340
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,660
Adam 12, get in the car.
341
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:26,660
Mom, that wants me to-
342
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:27,660
Ow!
343
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,660
Wow, that dude is whipped.
344
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:34,660
Not in a good way like a dominatrix.
345
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:35,660
Too much information?
346
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:36,660
Yeah.
347
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:39,850
Yeah, I did everything I could, but he isn't letting
348
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:40,660
me back out.
349
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:41,660
He needs you too much.
350
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:45,020
That Nancy makes the alien from Alien look like Carol
351
00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:45,660
Brady.
352
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:48,660
This woman may be the biggest bitch I've ever seen.
353
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:50,660
Okay, the second biggest.
354
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,790
You know, why didn't you two just whip him out and
355
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:53,660
see who's was bigger?
356
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,660
He won't go for it. The dude practically hasn't any.
357
00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:57,660
Really?
358
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,660
Maybe you should be figuring out a way to win.
359
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:00,660
I know how to win.
360
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,660
Whip has to do a 1080 McTwist.
361
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:03,660
[laughing]
362
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,660
Then tell him to do it.
363
00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:06,660
It's impossible.
364
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:07,660
Tell him.
365
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,660
Hey, buddy.
366
00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:14,660
I mean, we were wondering if you could do a 1080 McTwist.
367
00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:15,660
No.
368
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:18,060
And to tell you the truth, Uncle Cho, this whole
369
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,660
practice stuff is getting really lame.
370
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:21,660
Plus, the other guys keep teasing me about Gus.
371
00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:25,660
Hey girls, yeah? The Whipster's on the move.
372
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:28,720
He's back again at Outer Proof. We're number one, so
373
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,660
take a seat.
374
00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:34,450
Sit back and feel the Whipster's heat. H-O-T. He's
375
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:35,660
hot.
376
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:36,660
[whooshing]
377
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,660
God, stop it right now!
378
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:41,660
And whip. Get out there and do the damn trick.
379
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,660
I don't care how. Just do it.
380
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:47,660
This isn't a Nike commercial, Cho. He needs help.
381
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:50,270
You expect the world from him, but have you coached
382
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:50,660
him?
383
00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,660
What? Like that mustache Romanian guy who hugs
384
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,660
tiddy gymnast, and leotard?
385
00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:57,970
'Cause if that's what you want, you can hug him
386
00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:58,660
yourself.
387
00:12:58,660 --> 00:12:59,660
Yeah!
388
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:01,660
No. Be a real coach.
389
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,730
It's the only chance we got to win your bet with
390
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:04,660
Commander Adam.
391
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,660
What? You bet Commander Adam that I'd beat Adam 12?
392
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:10,660
And if you don't, he wins six.
393
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:13,660
Oh, I can't take this pressure. I'm outta here.
394
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,660
Whip, come here.
395
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:17,660
[whispering]
396
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:20,740
Okay, Whips agreed to give it a shot, but he can't do
397
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:21,660
it alone.
398
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,870
Cho'd, you have to mold him into a top-notch athlete
399
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:25,660
and fast.
400
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,150
You need to look to someone with impeccable
401
00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:29,660
credentials to teach you how to coach.
402
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:32,660
Hmm. I know just the guy.
403
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:35,660
Bobby Knight!
404
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,660
[groaning]
405
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:38,660
Get out of my face!
406
00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:40,660
Thanks for playing like a the--
407
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:43,660
No, I don't give a-- when you-- all stink!
408
00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:47,660
Stomp your f--king wallet and grow a set of f--king--
409
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,660
These are f--king motivational genius.
410
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:53,660
Help me, Kobe Ron. You are my only hope.
411
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:56,660
Help me, Kobe Ron. You are my only hope.
412
00:13:56,660 --> 00:14:00,170
If you'd all like it, you can climb back into your
413
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:00,660
mummies.
414
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:05,660
And spade a f--k there, you f--king--
415
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,660
The man's a poet.
416
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:09,660
[whistle]
417
00:14:09,660 --> 00:14:11,660
All right, you mother f--k.
418
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:14,660
You're gonna eat, sleep, and f--k the 1080 McTwist.
419
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:16,660
Startin' now.
420
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:19,660
Yeah! I said now!
421
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:20,660
[laughing]
422
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:27,660
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
423
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:30,200
Right now, I wanna see it right now. Come on. Come on,
424
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:30,660
let's see it.
425
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:33,660
I wanna see it. I wanna see it right now.
426
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,660
Hey, you look-oak!
427
00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:52,660
[laughing]
428
00:14:52,660 --> 00:15:04,660
James, stop this crazy thing!
429
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,660
Touch it, you losing.
430
00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:09,660
[laughing]
431
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:21,660
One more time.
432
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:22,660
What?
433
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:23,660
Do it.
434
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:27,660
Aw.
435
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:36,330
I think I kinda landed a little funny on that last
436
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:36,660
run.
437
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:37,660
My leg hurts.
438
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,660
Now walk it off. It'll be fine.
439
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:44,660
I can't feel my ankle.
440
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,660
Well, I can.
441
00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:49,660
[gasping]
442
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:56,660
I'll be fine. I'm a lizard. It'll regenerate.
443
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:57,660
Not fast enough.
444
00:15:57,660 --> 00:16:00,660
We can rebuild them. We have the technology.
445
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,660
Duck tape.
446
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:06,660
Look, Six, good as new.
447
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,660
Okay, Uncle Chote, I'm ready.
448
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:10,660
Chote, I don't know if he should do this.
449
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:13,660
Mm-mm. Looks solid to me.
450
00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:15,660
So let's get out there and kick some ass.
451
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,660
You're a sunk.
452
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:19,660
It won't be the same here without you.
453
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:20,660
Mm-mm.
454
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:24,080
I know it must have been tough there living in my
455
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:24,660
shadow,
456
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:26,660
but you were the wind beneath my-
457
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:28,660
Stop it. I'm not giving up.
458
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:30,660
We'll just have to come up with a plan B.
459
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,660
[cheering]
460
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:45,660
Well, well, well.
461
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,660
Looks like blips out of the competition.
462
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:51,660
Son, seems Daddy's got himself a new whore.
463
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,010
Yes, well, pardon my use of the vernacular when I
464
00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:54,660
remind you.
465
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:58,660
It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
466
00:16:58,660 --> 00:16:59,660
Ta-da!
467
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:01,660
It won't be a stylish village.
468
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:03,660
I can't afford a carriage,
469
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:06,660
but y'all look sweet upon the seat
470
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:10,660
of a bicycle-built mortar.
471
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,660
[grunting]
472
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:14,660
[groaning]
473
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,660
Me and you, Adam, best man wins.
474
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,660
Why should I when my son'll wipe the floor with you?
475
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:23,660
So what you're saying is, your son is the best man?
476
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,660
Dad, if I win, shouldn't she be my whore?
477
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:33,660
No. 12th nose, I can mop the floor with him.
478
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:35,660
Any sport, any time.
479
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,660
Uh, Dad, no, you can't.
480
00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:38,660
[laughing]
481
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,660
Give me the damn board!
482
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,660
You think you're better than me?
483
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:43,660
Huh? Huh?
484
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:46,660
You're on, Chode. You want the best man?
485
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,660
You've got him.
486
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:50,660
[cheering]
487
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:54,660
Oh, crap!
488
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,660
I guess Junior really is a chip off the old block.
489
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:18,660
Well, six, I do just about anything to keep you,
490
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:19,660
but I can't do this.
491
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:22,660
Chode, listen, if you think you're beaten, you are.
492
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:24,660
If you think you can't, you won't.
493
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,660
Believe in yourself, Chode.
494
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:27,660
[groaning]
495
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:30,260
Nice try, but I'm not falling for that Tony Robbins
496
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:30,660
crap.
497
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:32,660
Chode, every man has his own destiny.
498
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,660
Well, my destiny's leading me to second place.
499
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:38,660
And this time it's gonna cost me the most important.
500
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,940
Oh, you know, it looks like Jeannie has a new major,
501
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:42,660
Nelson.
502
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:45,660
Well then, I guess this is goodbye, Chode.
503
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,660
[grunting]
504
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,660
[grunting]
505
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:54,660
[grunting]
506
00:18:54,660 --> 00:19:04,660
All right!
507
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:14,660
That finally beat you.
508
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:16,660
I know you wanted to have sex with six,
509
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:19,180
but me doing her doggie-style bend over your ship's
510
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:19,660
control panel
511
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,660
is almost the same thing.
512
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,660
Well, let's have it. Come on, fork over the pink slip.
513
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,660
I can't.
514
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:27,660
Oh, yes you can.
515
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,660
No, I can't see the ship.
516
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:30,660
It's an entity thing.
517
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:31,660
What?
518
00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:33,660
You'll have to ask her for it.
519
00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:35,660
I tell you to pick up my dry cleaning
520
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:39,660
and you're here racing around an intergalactic X-game?
521
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:42,660
Chode has something to ask you.
522
00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:45,380
Take a picture of the last longer, you three-eyed
523
00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,660
piece of purple pond scum.
524
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,660
You know what? We're good.
525
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:52,660
Well, I didn't get a ship, but I got something better.
526
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:54,660
I beat him.
527
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,660
I beat him all by myself.
528
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:58,660
He's not better than me.
529
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,660
I just had to believe it for it to be true.
530
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,660
So, six, pay up.
531
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,660
Uncle Chode won the bet.
532
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:05,660
What's he talking about?
533
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:06,660
Well, when he was gonna quit,
534
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,660
I promised him a little incentive to hang in there.
535
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:10,660
What did you promise him?
536
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:13,660
Look at the old love bubbles.
537
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:15,660
Cute.
538
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:21,660
Great. It wasn't the coaching, it was the coaching.
539
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,660
But I still beat the jerk by myself, didn't I?
540
00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:27,660
Of course. Don't be silly.
541
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:36,010
So, where's the big trophy that was going to make
542
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:36,660
your life complete?
543
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,660
Whip's got it.
544
00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:41,840
Really? That is one of the most unselfish gestures I've
545
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:42,660
ever witnessed.
546
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,660
I'm proud of you.
547
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,660
Yeah, what you said?
548
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:48,930
Uncle Chode, I finished polishing your trophy, just
549
00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:49,660
like you told me.
550
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:50,660
Chode?
551
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:52,660
You're right. I can't take that trophy from you.
552
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,660
Until you get that spot you missed.
553
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,660
Talk about sloppy work.
554
00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,660
Why do I even bother?
555
00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:02,090
Whaaaat? Whip my boy. There are two great mysteries
556
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:02,660
in life.
557
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:06,150
Women, and what the hell was that bird guy on Buck
558
00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:07,660
Rogers in the 25th century?
559
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,660
I liked him. He had a certain je ne sais quoi.
560
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,660
Then Gus's sexual preference, make three.
561
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:16,660
[music]
562
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,660
[music]
563
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,660
[music]
564
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:22,660
[music]
565
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:24,660
[music]
566
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,660
[music]
567
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,660
[music]
568
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:30,660
[music]
569
00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:32,660
[music]
570
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:34,660
[music]
571
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,660
[music]
572
00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:38,660
[music]
573
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:40,660
[music]
574
00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:43,400
(dramatic music)
575
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,846
(upbeat music)
37883
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.