Original subtitles

Thomas. - Yes, Mr Higgins?

It's come.

Take it to Miss Ann immediately. - Yes, sir.

Wendy.

It has come. - Oh, good.

Take it to Miss Ann immediately. - Yes, Mr Turner.

It has come.

What's the big idea? It isn't even daylight.

It's eleven o'clock.

Maybe this will wake you up.

Kingsford.

An invitation down to Kingsford house parties.

House parties.

Mother. Mother, look.

Look. This just came this morning.

What have you done to your hair?

You look like a peeled onion.

But mother. An invitation down to Kingsford.

House parties. From Greg Smith.

And who is Greg Smith?

He's really very nice.

Hand me the social register.

Mother, he may not be in here.

See, his family lives in Pittsburgh.

There's a certain civilization. Even in Pittsburgh.

Miss Ann. Telephone.

But mother, this is Kingsford College.

Every d�butante in New York will be there.

My dear. One does not attend an exclusive function of this sort ..

With an unregistered nobody from the midwest.

Answer the telephone.

Hello.

Hello, Daphne.

My pet, I simply had to call you.

Darling, I'm in the most awful man-jam.

The mail just came. What do you think?

I got three invitations to Kingsford house parties.

Isn't it hideous?

Yes. Hideous.

House parties are such mad fun.

I wish you had a bid. Goodbye, my pet.

I have a bid.

Goodbye, my pet.

[ Telephone ]

Miss Christy's residence.

Miss Carol?

Just a moment. I'll call her.

Hello?

Yes, this is Carol.

Darling, I'm in the most awful man-jam.

Three invitations?

You poor kid. I know just how you feel.

Yes. I am going.

With Phil Griswold of course.

Yes, I will.

So long, Daph.

Who was that, dear? - Daphne Graves, mother.

She was afraid I might not have heard she had three invitations to Kingsford.

You must have a new evening gown.

No. I can get along with what I have.

It's not my clothes Phil's in love with.

Besides, boys don't notice those things.

No. But girls do.

They're the ones who say you married one of the richest boys in New York ..

After your father lost his money.

Mother, that's what I'm doing, isn't it?

You are very young, my dear.

Alright. Let's say it is for my sake ..

That we must keep up appearances until your father gets on his feet again.

Until I am Mrs Philip S. Griswold.

The third.

Carol. You do love him, don't you?

Don't you?

[ Telephone ]

Heavens.

The phone never rang so much when we had a maid.

Miss Christy's residence.

Mary Rose.

Just a minute. I will see.

Hello?

Hello, Carol. How are you, darling?

Fine, thanks. How are you?

I'm just fine, thanks.

Nothing in particular. Just thought I'd call and say hello.

And you just called to see if I'd got my bid from Phil.

Alright, I did.

Flash. Daphne Graves got three.

How many dozen did you get?

I haven't even looked at the mail yet.

I just got out of the shower.

But I know Homer forgot to mail mine. He just never is conventional.

I must run, darling. I'm simply dripping.

Goodbye.

Mother.

That settles it. We're going to Bermuda.

Bermuda?

I won't be caught dead in a town like this.

Without an invitation to Kingsford house parties.

Darling. Can't mother's precious wait until she sees Homer?

No, mother's precious can't wait.

We're going to pack and go to Bermuda right now.

Well, what's all the shooting for?

I think we're going to Bermuda, dear.

Bermuda?

Honey. For Pete's sake.

What's the matter?

What's the matter? The bids to Kingsford house parties are out. That's all.

Carol has hers. Ann has hers.

That miserable Daphne Graves has three.

But what has you and mother going to Bermuda got to do with a college prom?

It's not a college prom. It is house parties.

Mother, look at him. Tell him.

How can he think a girl can even live in a city like New York ..

Without an invitation to Kingsford?

He just wants me to stay here and be a social outcast.

Do you think if I telephoned Homer he might ..

Why, Mingo. Your hands are like ice.

Look here, Mary Rose. What's all this fuss about Kingsford?

When I went to Michigan .. - Michigan?

Yes. Michigan.

And what makes these Kingsford youngsters so different?

What makes Kingsford men so different?

They are the glamour boys.

The glamour boys? - Yes.

The glamour boys?

Hello. Long distance?

Yes. I want to speak to Homer Ten Eyck.

Local. Kingsford College.

[ Telephone ]

The telephone.

Look. If we're going to New York I've definitely got to find a shirt.

Alright. Alright.

Hello?

Hello, Mrs Wilston.

Here we go again.

Homer, you darling boy.

I just wanted to surprise Mary Rose.

Well.

I'd love to come to dinner, Mrs Wilston.

But the fact is, I'm not coming to New York this weekend at all.

I got to cram for finals.

Really, Mrs Wilston.

Don't weaken.

Mr Wilston wants to see me too.

Homer isn't here, Mrs Wilston.

I have just been speaking to him.

That's what you think.

This is Phil Griswold. Homer's room-mate.

Confidentially, Mrs Wilston. I have been learning how to imitate people's voices.

Wait. I'll prove it to you. I will do Homer again.

Say something, you dope.

Hello, Mrs Wilston.

I bet you think this is Homer.

How is that?

I can hardly believe it.

Hi, fellahs.

Mary Rose's mother. She's gunning for me.

Well, there you are.

It's really nothing at all.

Hard to say when Homer will be back.

You know how it is in the spring. Sometimes he goes away for days.

Yes. Alright. Goodbye, Ms Wilston.

That, my friends, is called 'technique'. - The Griswold technique.

Phil handles women like his old man handles stockholders.

To a long line of technicians.

Hey. I got a shirt.

Ann's mother put the clamps on me for tonight. Can I fall in with you two?

Sure. If you can stand the pace.

Compliments of the SureClean. Where young shirts go to die.

Dead or alive, give me one.

Hey, Phil. You know you saved me from a fate worse than death.

Have you ever tried that on Carol's mother?

Never had to.

Carol knows that a woman's place 'Is, of a man's life, a thing apart'.

Mary Rose is getting to be a thing apart.

You know, I'm getting to hate women.

Come on, let's get going. Want to come with us, Joe?

Not a chance.

I'm paid to wait on you mugs but I don't have to be seen with you.

In other words, I've got work to do.

Hi, Blimpy.

Hey, you all.

Sorry. We're leaving.

I've got a dinner date with some important people.

Mr and Mrs Peabody Pennington.

Can I cadge a lift to New York?

Blimpy, we're on our way to the South Seas.

The South Seas?

Where there are no women. - No women?

No women.

Stags at bay. No women.

Women.

What are we waiting for?

College boys.

You mean Kingsford glamour boys.

How many, gentlemen? - Ten dollars' worth please.

Some native instinct tells me we're short five apiece.

I'm sorry. I thought you were cockeyed.

The lady said we were cockeyed.

The lady is no lady.

They're beautiful.

The good ones must be playing bridge.

Oh boy.

Look at that chestnut filly.

Columbus.

Columbus, Ohio.

Excuse me, Greg.

Phil, you can't cut in here.

Hey, you. That's my dame.

You don't understand. This is my mother.

Okay, buddy.

Come on, featherfeet. She's not your type.

Yeah. But ..

You know, there is such a thing as manners even at the Joylane.

Now that's gratitude.

After I saved you from that seagoing Tarzan.

Maybe I like sailors.

Do you want to dance?

Look. How long am I the luckiest man at the Joylane?

You mean, how long will these tickets last?

Oh .. two hours.

Except we close in twenty minutes.

That's great. Then we can do the town.

No. Not a chance. I'm going home.

Really, I mean it.

As a matter of fact, you are quite a likely wench.

Wench?

What do you think you're buying, livestock?

Wait a minute. I didn't mean ..

You guys come here with a little higher education and a few dance tickets ..

And think you own the joint.

Suppose I don't think you look like anybody's ball of fire?

Do I get a silly grin on my face and start calling you names?

I just said you were a likely wench.

Maybe I just didn't like the way you looked.

Boy.

You don't have that red hair for nothing do you, Miss ..?

Miss ..? - Thomas.

Jane Thomas.

You know, these Broadway cowboys think that the other name for Miss is 'Toots'.

Frankly, you do look like a 'Toots'.

In a nice way I mean. Now, come on.

I guess it wasn't so smart to wear these shoes.

Crepe soles. You can't dance in them.

I'll take them off.

Okay, jitterbug. You can't dance like that.

It's better with the shoes off.

Listen, buddy.

Put them violins back in their cases.

My good man.

Do you realize I am Philip Griswold the third?

I don't care if you're Philip the sixteenth.

Put on them shoes.

Is there an official notice on any fixture in these premises ..

Which says a gentleman may not remove his shoes?

No. But I .. - See? It is typical.

You know what it is, don't you?

It's un-American.

It's a plot against the upper classes.

But this ain't no plot.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers fought and died for liberty ..

Freedom of speech and freedom of worship.

They gave their blood for the constitution.

Which guarantees to every American citizen ..

A complete franchise, regardless of race, color, creed or previous ..

Previous .. previous ..

Previous condition of servitude.

The very words. Thank you, my friend.

Yeah, I know but I didn't hear .. - Reading the constitution ..

That glorious document which makes it a crime ..

To invade the inalienable rights of the private citizen.

Yeah. I know. - The word for that is 'Treason'.

They get life for treason.

You can't do that in here.

We too are American citizens.

My friends.

The dancing will continue.

Now I have seen everything.

As a matter of fact, the best dancing in the world is done barefoot.

Look at the Hawaiians and the dryads.

Cut the double talk. That isn't why you took your shoes off.

No? - No.

You just did it to show off.

Oh.

Hey, wait a minute, sailor.

I'm dancing with the dame. - Let go of her.

I said I am dancing with the dame.

You big lug!

Hey.

What's the matter?

Hey.

Come on.

Come on.

You can't do that.

Wait a minute.

My gosh. You got hurt?

Hurt?

No, no. Let me at those guys.

You'd better go home.

I don't want to go home. - You said you'd take me home.

I did?

Well, okay.

Sure.

The pleasure is all mine.

Does it hurt very much? - Hurt? No.

You mean this?

I didn't get this in a fight. I got it falling downstairs.

The bunch of lugs.

Toe crushers.

You laugh. I am serious.

There's no romance left in anything anymore. Even a brawl.

That's the trouble with modern life.

When I graduate from college I'm getting out of it.

Out of modern life?

All the way.

There used to be adventure and excitement.

There used to be pioneers.

You take my own father.

Now, everybody thinks he's always been the Gibraltar of Wall Street.

You know what he did?

Back in 1902, he ..

Cornered the wheat market.

Without a dime in his pocket.

A great guy, my old man.

But me?

Nothing ever happens to me.

Nothing but security.

No, sir. I'm leaving this ..

Glittering, inarticulate, so-called civilization.

I'll take some sort of a place in Bali or Tahiti.

Then.

If I don't drink myself to death .. I may even write.

You know, I think that is perfectly wonderful.

You're right.

You're a very intelligent girl.

No girl can figure out things like ..

Like a man.

You know, I would like to see you again.

That's awfully sweet of you.

How about next Saturday night?

No, no. Not next Saturday. That is house parties.

House parties?

Sure. Kingsford house parties.

Every club has a dance from Friday until wrecked.

Wonderful.

You know. I haven't danced for six months.

You what?

I mean, danced and liked it.

Except with you tonight.

Look. Why don't you come down next weekend?

To Kingsford?

But I couldn't do that. - Sure you can.

Come on down. We'll have fun.

Do you really mean it? - Absolutely.

Just take the Kingsford Special on Friday afternoon and there you are.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I have a room-mate, you know.

A swell idea. No girl should live alone these days.

Goodnight.

See you down at Kingsford.

Goodnight .. Phil.

Here.

Friend. Dream about flowers.

Life is full of disappointments, eh buddy?

I'll drive. You don't know where we're going.

Gee, you got here quick. - On my own nickel too.

Mavis, how much money have you got?

Nine dollars and 63 cents.

The landlady already put in her bid.

I have fourteen. Let's see.

A suit and hair costs sixteen dollars and ..

And five bucks down on a formal. - What are you buying, a trousseau?

Remember that college boy I was dancing with?

The barefoot Romeo?

Would it interest you to know that is Philip Griswold?

Philip Griswold?

Philip Griswold?

Hmm. He invited me down to Kingsford to a prom next weekend.

Honey.

Why don't you just find a nice, safe buzz-saw to stick your head in?

But he's a gentleman. The real McCoy.

Gosh.

He didn't even make a pass at me in the taxi.

That's just the new technique.

So you must lead them by the hand before they have you scaling the wallpaper.

I'm going anyway.

Miss Thomas, you certainly hit the low bar since you left Kansas.

Your name was going to be up in electric lights.

Now you're going to settle for a social register.

Honey, you don't belong with that crowd.

And why not? If you're born in a stable does that make you a horse?

After all, this is America in 1939.

If you think I'll let a dream prince ride right out of the picture ..

Just because I'm temporarily at the Joylane.

Okay, Cinderella.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Dream about flowers.

Hey, there is Mary Rose.

I thought you were stagging this weekend.

Mrs Wilston got hold of me and we split a couple of pints of tea and ..

Here is Mary Rose. - I see.

Carol.

Carol.

Phil.

You look like a fur-trapper's moll. - I trapped these myself.

Are you glad to see me? - Last weekend was a desert.

Homer. Here I am, darling.

Hello, Ann.

Hello Greg.

Hello everybody.

Hey, what's this all about?

You mean you're dating all three of us?

Yeah. A sort-of triple-cross, eh?

Well, honestly.

I thought men always compared notes about these things.

I guess we had better grab these.

I told you, Miss. The other young ladies are way up there in the special Pullman.

That is alright. I prefer the day coaches.

Thank you.

Hey, wait. I left my hat-box on the train.

Blimpy, will you please get it for me? It's white pigskin.

Blimpy, the car's full of luggage.

You'd better grab a taxi.

Now I got a date with a hat-box.

Excuse me.

Do you know Phil Griswold?

Sure. He's one of my best friends.

But he just left.

I got off at the wrong end of the train.

I guess he didn't think I was coming.

Suppose I take you to his room?

I'm going there. - Are you?

Thanks.

Didn't you have a date?

Yeah. But I was left holding the bag.

If you knew Suzy like I know Suzy ..

Oh what a girl.

There is none so classy.

As this fair lassie.

Greg. - Go away.

Greg. Excuse me a minute.

Does that redhead ring a gong in your subconscious?

Echoes of the Joylane.

That babe Phil took home.

And a plague was visited on the house of Griswold.

Have you a cigarette? - Yeah. Yeah.

Really, I don't think I can make it.

We still have each other.

Well, here comes our host.

Does anybody want anything? - Yeah. Hedy Lamarr.

Private stock.

Would you take this please?

Phil.

Are you addressing me?

Men's talk?

That's alright, Blimpy.

Daphne, let's go dress for dinner.

Phil. Jane Thomas is here.

Jane Thomas? Who's she?

She said she had a date with you.

Jane Thomas?

I never heard of her. Where is she?

I didn't bring her up here.

She's in your room.

Okay.

Blimpy. - Yep?

Where did you get her? - Who? You mean Jane Thomas?

Sure.

I picked her up down at the station.

He picked her up. - He picked her up.

Say, don't you know who she is? - No. Who is she?

Do you mean to tell me you haven't heard of the Thomas's of Philadelphia?

Thomas's? Thomas's?

Of course. The Thomas's.

A fine old family.

Hello, Phil.

Well, hello.

What are you doing here?

What am I ..

Wait a minute.

Did I ask you down here?

Yes, you did.

Oh.

Boy, I must have been tight.

Miss ..?

Miss Jane, I can't tell you how sorry I am.

Don't give it a thought.

I like train rides.

I wish I could do something about it but ..

Of course I have another date.

This is the biggest thing of the year. - Yes. You said that last week.

Look here.

I wish you'd take this.

For your expenses.

No, really. I mean it.

After all, it was partly my fault.

Partly your fault?

Partly your fault?

You conceited ..

I hope I'm not butting in to something. Am I?

Quite obviously, you are.

No, you aren't. I was just leaving. - Leaving?

Miss Thomas, you can't do that.

You just got here.

Look, Phil.

I couldn't help but notice the wires have sort-of gotten crossed here.

I'm just the man that can straighten them out.

Mighty white of you.

Miss Thomas.

Would you do me the honor to be my date this weekend?

Miss Thomas is unable to stay.

Blimpy, I'd love to be your date.

Swell. Come on, y'all.

Jane has to meet the gang.

Let's go.

Don't be silly. You won't like it here.

Stick around and see.

Hey, y'all.

Open the door. I've got my date out here.

What do you mean, your date?

Introducing Miss Thomas.

Sold me down the river for a redhead.

How do you do? I'm Daphne Graves. - I know.

I see your pictures in the press all the time and I ..

You do?

How do you do? I am Carol Christy. - Hello.

And.

This is Ann Van Reichton.

Hello.

How do you do?

I guess you'll have to take this bed by the door.

It seems to be the only one left.

And close the door, Miss Thomas.

You can't tell what will blow in.

Don't mind Daphne.

She started with three men. Now she only has one like an ordinary girl.

Naturally, she's bitter.

I looked everywhere for Homer and he's simply disappeared again.

This is Miss Thomas.

Mary Rose Wilston.

Hello.

How do you do?

I mean the way he keeps getting away from me.

Honestly, I don't see why he even bothered to ask me down here.

Homer is the typical mad, zany type.

You've got the wrong technique.

You've got to play the 'inspiration girl'.

Make him give up cigarettes and highballs.

Make him look up to you.

Have you any suggestions?

There's only one way to make a college boy look up to you.

Yes? - Climb a ladder.

They're going to sit here.

This is Miss Jane Thomas. In case any of you haven't met her yet.

Homer Ten Eyck.

How do you do, Miss Thomas?

Greg Smith.

How do you do?

Skel Lorimer.

How are you, Miss Thomas?

She's quite a fire hazard.

Where do you suppose Blimpy got her? - The woods are full of that type.

Look what's coming.

Here we are. I never get anywhere on time.

Hi, everybody. - Hello.

Boy, has that Torgler got himself a woman.

It is Betty Ainsbridge. The last of the 2-2-2 diviners.

Hiya, Phil.

But honestly, doesn't everybody look simply bright-eyed.

This is going to be a terrific brawl.

Poor Betty.

She doesn't know sincerity is back.

She must be twenty-three at least.

My dear, she is a hag.

A hag, huh?

Ha. In Europe they keep them on ice until they are thirty.

Blimpy. Who is she?

That is Betty Ainsbridge.

She was an all-American prom trotter when I was a freshman.

Five years ago.

Now everybody seems to be here.

I must say that we're all very grateful for this invasion of charm and beauty.

We want to thank you for accepting our humble hospitality.

We hope that everybody ..

[ Coughing ]

Shush.

Listen to me.

I must think I am Camille or something.

Honestly. Don't you all think I'm terribly attractive?

Kingsford is honored to have you all here.

We hope you have a wonderful time.

Homer, don't you think you smoke too much?

That's your third cigarette and you haven't touched your fruit cocktail.

Say, what do you think I am? A fugitive from a day nursery?

Joe.

I'm so glad to see you. It's been ages.

How are you, Carol?

Fine, thank you.

How are you?

I'm fine, Carol.

I am fine too.

You both look fine but I'm starving.

Yes, Carol. Turn our best provider loose.

See you.

Better look out, Phil. Or the help will beat your time.

Joe is not the help. He is working his way.

Well, that is one road to success.

Don't you think so, Miss Thomas?

Most of the boys back home worked their way through college. If they go.

Did you come to New York to study?

Where did you go? Miss Carter's?

Miss Nottingham's? - I went to Corn Falls high school.

Corn Falls? What's that?

It couldn't be a place. It's a gag.

It's not a gag. It's where I come from.

Corn Falls, Kansas. We've got a farm there.

Oh?

Kansas.

Kansas?

I thought you were from Philadelphia.

Blimpy. How could you ever have thought that?

Will you excuse me?

It must be the excitement or something.

But all of a sudden, I ..

I have the most terrible headache.

You certainly have.

Oh .. you dope.

I am sorry, Daphne.

It's only a little water. - Only a little water?

Well. Goodbye, everybody.

I'm going to put on a bathing suit.

Well.

Kansas seems to be poison around here.

Oh no. It's just that Blimpy is a southerner.

Naturally, things like background and family are important to him.

Well, sister rat.

I'll go up and see if I can square things with that girl.

Go ahead.

I'm sorry you had an accident.

That was no accident.

What was supposed to say? Miss Corn Falls high school?

Okay. You win.

Is that what you came up here for? - No.

After all. You know you don't just get up and bolt during the soup.

Listen. I'm in the wrong place. But I don't feel like laughing about it.

I'm going home. - Now, wait a minute, Jane.

I don't want you to feel like that.

This whole setup is my fault.

I've been a heel and I have put you in a spot.

If it's not too late, I'd like to make up for it.

I'm a taxi-dancer, see.

I don't belong in your crowd and from now on I'll know it.

That whole business at dinner. That shouldn't have happened.

It was only because you were tied up with a ..

Stuffed shirt like Blimpy.

The others aren't like that.

Under that double talk they're okay. If you knew them you'd like them.

I like everybody, but ..

What do you expect me to do? Wrestle them single-handed?

That crack about family and background from that dumb Park Avenue squab.

Sure. I guessed they would be down on you.

But it's only because you're so much more ..

Well, it's pretty obvious.

But the rest?

Really, Red. You'll have a good time. I'll underwrite it myself if you stay.

I wouldn't stay here now even if I liked the joint.

From now on my dancing will be done at the Joylane.

Besides, you've a date with Carol. - Only one of my dates.

Look. The dances start in just a little while.

Now, you build yourself a new face along the same lines.

I'm walking out of your life.

But I'll be back in ten minutes. - Phil, please.

Hello there. - Hello.

If it isn't one thing it's ten others.

In the middle of the salad.

I have to come whooping upstairs to put on an evening gown.

And I adore salad.

You did better than I did at that.

Don't you adore Kingsford?

I'm nuts about it.

There's simply no other school like it.

There's parties. There is men.

You know, I was practically raised here myself.

Is it true this is your fifth year at house parties?

Who told you that?

I don't know.

Somebody said you'd been here a lot.

Honestly.

If a person gets seen more than twice around here you are ..

You'd think she was folklore or something.

Is it fun to keep doing this college stuff over and over?

It's surely a lot more fun than haunting the late spots on East 52nd Street.

With a lot of dull-witted people who think they'll be powers in Wall Street.

Give me a college man every time.

It's just beautiful, isn't it?

We spent next year's treasury jazzing it up for you girls.

Which one do you think you'd like?

The Scribe. That's Lenny Goodwood.

Lyons is the chain store prince.

Been here seven years.

Laurel has the best punch. I think we'll take Laurel.

Is that where all your friends are?

Wait a minute, Kansas. You're not still scared of the glamour girl?

A woman whose grandpa fought the Indians?

Okay, but I'd rather take the Indians.

Loveliness.

You are all the heaven I have seen.

Loveliness.

You would make an orchid turn green.

Your charm and such are far too much.

To really please.

Of all that stuff, quite enough.

Loveliness.

Come on, Kansas. Everything is going to be alright.

Just Like some subtle perfume.

Say. Phil has really got something there, hasn't he.

I think it was nice of Phil to bring that girl to the dances.

How did you ever make him do it, Carol?

Nobody ever has to make Phil act like a human being.

Daphne wouldn't know about that.

Tap-tap, old boy.

Blimpy, how is your headache?

Can I cut in?

Why sure.

You now dance with one of the top ranked dancers of the civilized world.

Including Omaha.

I would have heard about you if you were the best dancer in Omaha.

Phil, you sure are a connoisseur of women.

The line forms on the right.

And have your tickets ready, boys.

Take a bow, swing-ma'am. You were terrific.

Jane.

Now show us how you do it at the Joylane dance hall.

The Joylane is old stuff for the boys, Daphne.

But now everybody knows I'm a professional.

It's going to cost the boys a dime a dance.

I want 23 dollars and forty cents' worth.

Cut in. - But boys ..

Cut in.

Miss Thomas. We have a nickel.

In the words of the prophet:

'Be kind, sweet maid. And let who will, be clever'.

Can you imagine? A taxi dancer.

Blimpy must have been mad.

Let's get this straight.

Jane came down here because I invited her.

Last Saturday night.

The night you had to study?

But you invited Carol for this weekend.

I mean, did you think you were going to have two dates or something?

Why not?

Everyone knows the Griswolds aren't in the run of average men.

This was ours, Joe.

That was swell of you, Carol.

Phil, your date is simply a sensation.

That redhead, I mean. - Yeah. Jane.

Cut in please.

May I?

You know there's no cutting after midnight.

When did that go into effect?

Isn't Phil frantically modern.

Yeah.

Now, Homer. That's your sixth drink.

It's my seventh.

Darling, you know how you get.

Tommy, don't you think it's advanced for a man to have two dates at a party?

I certainly do.

You'll be sorry for that, Homer Ten Eyck.

Give me another.

Homer and Mary Rose act so domestic it's positively frightening.

Yes.

Frightening.

I was so glad to see you when you came in to dinner tonight.

I've looked for you every time I came down to Kingsford.

At football games and at the junior prom.

You don't go to many dances, do you?

I've been pretty busy working.

Then we do have to study here once in a while.

How did you manage to come out tonight with finals coming up and everything?

I've grown up since last fall, Carol.

You didn't used to ask what you already knew.

I haven't learned to rumba yet.

It's a nice night.

I love spring here at Kingsford.

Joe, look who's here.

Yeah, I know. Jupiter.

I have seen him every night.

You remember that first night we picked him out down at Montauk?

Sure. I remember.

And here he is at Kingsford. Two hundred miles away.

Oh.

Sure.

Distance means nothing these days.

Carol.

Phil didn't know that girl was coming down here.

He was off on a binge. He forgot all about it.

That's alright. It doesn't matter.

He'd never put you on the spot like that.

You know how it is when a fellow .. - You're so nice to apologise for Phil.

But don't you see? It just doesn't matter.

You ..

You mean you're not in love with him?

Joe. It's simply wonderful being with Phil.

You know, we practically grew up together.

We know all the same people. We like to do all the same things.

You mean you both like yachts.

Well, I think people have to face things.

I know what kind of a person I am.

Houses and clothes and trips.

Fun.

They're what I want.

So does Phil. So we're just bound to be happy.

I mean.

Well, everything isn't just simple like it used to be.

Life is so complicated these days.

Life isn't complicated Carol if two people love each other.

All my life I've heard that.

About sacrifices and struggles and unselfishness.

It isn't true.

The happy people are the ones who get things. Not the ones who give them up.

Joe. I guess it's just that I see too far ahead.

Sure. Too far ahead and nothing in between.

Alright.

If it's 'things' you want, I guess you just have to go ahead and get them.

To find out you didn't.

You're just being young again. Just like you were last summer.

You don't know what it's all about.

I am cold. Please take me back.

Having fun, aren't you, Red? - Yes.

And I don't have to count tickets. - No.

Phil. Joe said to tell you Carol has gone home. She's got a headache.

Okay. Thanks.

It looks like you're my date after all.

It's a good thing I carried a spare.

Phil. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed.

But you did.

Cut in? - No.

Come on. We have six more clubs to do.

Obviously Goofy Tucker. Gathering berries.

Why can't that be Goofy Tucker?

Silly. He hasn't the well-turned ankles of a Tucker.

You're going the wrong way, my friend.

Aiding a damsel in distress.

Home, stop clowning. Take me home. I'm so sleepy.

Alright, dear.

Yum, yum, yum.

Welcome, brother. Welcome.

Introduce me to the blessed demoiselle.

I do not know you, my friend.

Furthermore, you are not this lady's type.

That's the password, brother.

Enter and the house is yours.

Who's that?

I never saw him before in my life. Probably some old alumnus.

This is terrific. What club is this? - This is Plume.

Where chiselling is the industry and doubletalk the language of the house.

Cut in? - Cut in, Phil?

Definitely no. - Listen.

It's democracy.

Come on, let's leave. I know a spot where we get police protection.

Police protection?

Hi, Phil. - Hi, Betty.

Have you seen wretched Tommy Torgler? He was positively high.

Last seen, compass in hand and heading due south.

If you see him, ask him if he thinks he's playing a game or something.

Hello, Ted.

For heaven's sake. With Alec Garner.

Custer's last stand.

Five more clubs. Can you take it? - I'm just beginning.

Welcome, brother. Welcome.

A friend from Delirium Tremens.

Introduce me to the blessed demoiselle.

Here we go again. - Shush.

That's the password, brother.

Proceed in safety.

Hey.

He looks like a new man.

I feel like a new woman.

Oh boy.

A woman.

Hello Homer.

Betty.

[ Whistle ]

Say. Something tells me this is going to be a beautiful evening.

Anybody ever tell you you're a dream queen?

Anybody?

People practically fight duels over me.

Duels. If you know what I mean. - Sure I do.

You're certainly what I've been looking for these past twenty years.

You know, Homer.

The first thing I noticed about was your terribly sort-of mature viewpoint.

Yeah. That's why I go for older women.

Why, Homer.

How excellently continental.

What makes you so different from all these other boys?

Say. Let's really talk.

Maybe there's a moon somewhere.

Hiya, Griswold. - Good evening, Smith.

Never let it be said a Griswold is less gallant than a Smith.

Be seeing you, Griswold.

It is possible, Smith. It's possible.

Are you comfortable, Phil? - Don't worry about me.

Welcome, brother, Welcome.

Introduce me to the blessed demoiselle.

Wait a minute, brother.

Don't get tough with me.

That is the password, brother.

There's a woman growing out of his neck.

Charlie.

No onions.

Every night you eat onions.

Why not tonight?

Well.

I just don't want onions.

Whoever heard of hamburgers without onions?

It isn't even healthy.

There's a girl with a head on her shoulders.

I'm surprised to see a smart girl like you down at this place.

What's wrong with this place? I think it's fun.

Fun?

You should be here on a weekday. It's a morgue.

Study, study, study.

I wonder what they think they get out of it.

Doctors, lawyers.

Bankers, politicians.

One fellow down here got to be an ambassador.

Another got to be president.

He lasted four years. Then he is out.

Maybe it was worth it.

But how old was he when he got it? Sixty.

I've had my own business since I was twenty-five.

That's what college does to people.

So I tell you this. You eat onions.

And like them.

Good.

Perfect.

You know. Charlie wouldn't trade jobs with the president.

He is what I'd call a happy man.

It must be swell to be that happy.

Yep. Must be.

I suppose you're not?

Well.

You probably wouldn't see it.

But I have a rather large handicap being Philip S. Griswold the third.

I mean it. It is pretty tough.

You and Daphne Graves.

Park Avenue. Kingsford.

And Wall Street.

And I'm so bored with it all.

You can't imagine how monotonous it is never to have doubts about the future.

Listen. I know worse things than monotony.

How would you like to have your whole life laid out for you by somebody else?

You're in a golden rut.

That did sound pretty bad, didn't it?

Jane, it's just ..

I think I would have liked to have picked my own life.

Why don't you?

I don't know.

I guess the other way is so easy.

Come. Let's get out of here, shall we?

Goodnight, Charlie. - Goodnight.

Goodnight, Charlie.

Goodnight.

Good morning. - Good morning.

It must be spring. I can smell the sunrise.

It must be mental telepathy. So can I.

Sleepy, Red? - No.

Just happy. - An old stay-out, you mean.

Seriously, Red. Did you ever see a more beautiful sunrise than this in Kansas?

No. Never.

It's all been so wonderful, Phil. I'll never forget it.

Now wait a minute. That sounds like a farewell speech.

Aren't we going to see each other again?

Sure. This is only the beginning.

This next weekend and the weekend after and the weekend after that and ..

Am I going too fast for you? - No.

Phil. That will be swell.

We will see New York like it's never been seen before.

Where would you like to go first?

You know, I've been in New York a full year and I've never been to the zoo.

What?

Come to think of it, I've never been there myself.

Imagine a girl passing up a nightclub for a monkey house.

Are they so different?

You and I are going to have fun alright.

What's the matter, Joan?

Phil.

What about Carol?

Carol?

She's a swell girl.

We've gone around together a lot.

We've both run around with other people.

Here we are.

Well, goodnight.

I know. You have six room-mates.

Red, I'm glad you didn't go home.

Hi, Joe.

How is Carol?

Alright, I guess.

Walk back to Blake with me.

No thanks, Phil.

Hello.

If it isn't the belle of the ball.

I'm sorry you had a headache.

Did that get around?

There seems to be quite an epidemic of headaches.

Daphne, when you grow up 10-1 you turn into a witch.

Did you have a good time? - I had a wonderful time.

After Daphne told them I worked in a dance hall they thought I was hot stuff.

Well, what are you all doing?

Having a convention?

What are you all staring at me for?

What do you think I am?

Scarlett O'Hara or something?

[ Telephone ]

Hello.

Hello. Phil Griswold please. This is his father.

It's very important.

Never heard of him.

Hello. Hello.

Operator.

It's only seven-thirty.

One o'clock?

We got to take the girls to the crew races.

No rush.

Treat 'em mean, keeps 'em keen.

You pulled about the best trick of the week last night.

Such as?

Such as that dime-a-dance babe.

Where did you two disappear to?

Cut it, Homer.

I am sorry, Phil.

I didn't know a crack about a taxi dancer would get you sore.

I guess you've known too many debs.

Okay. Have it your way.

Say, that was quite a brawl last night.

A very, very large party.

Or could I be wrong?

One of the girls must have left it here yesterday afternoon.

Homer, you're way out of bounds.

I don't know.

She's been around. Besides ..

In case you don't know it. I think you are a heel.

You mix them before you put them in the pan.

Not where I come from you don't.

Hello.

May I drop mine in? Hello. - Morning.

He wanted to put milk in them. - How awful.

Here, you take over.

Any child knows that's not the way ..

Well, where's Homer?

I had a date with him for one o'clock.

Danger. Women at work.

Morning, Phil.

Good morning, darling. You're late.

Late for what?

Just like a man. Grumpy at breakfast.

My, what an unattractive room.

It is a kitchen.

All I want is a cup of coffee on the lawn in the sunshine.

Breakfast outdoors? That's a wonderful idea.

Men.

To work.

Find a gal who knows her eggs. That's what my old father told me.

Your father was smart.

Wait a minute.

The Griswolds like them counter clockwise.

Good morning everybody.

Not that it's still morning.

Pull up a chair, Betty. The original sidewalk caf�.

Hello Betty.

Hello Homer.

If Miss Ainsbridge will only have this chair.

Aren't you gallant.

At so early in the morning.

Maybe it's early for some people.

Homer, I want to eat.

What's stopping you?

Hiya, white folks.

Hey, look.

Whoa, Homer.

That's awful. Calling that horse Homer.

Not from Tommy's angle.

Hey.

Milk. What is it for?

You see it's like this.

I was walking down the street just minding my own business.

I heard a voice call:

'Mister, would you like to buy some milk'?

There was something about that voice that made me turn to see who it was.

You know who it was?

The horse.

Ha.

That's right. How did you guess?

Well, now he's brought the milk.

Let's drink it. - Drink it?

That might be a noble experiment. - Go ahead.

Personally, I prefer champagne.

Champagne for breakfast?

We always have champagne for breakfast at Kingsford.

But doesn't champagne need a pretty special celebration?

We're celebrating.

Jane means something official.

Like a funeral or a wedding or ..

Or an announcement.

Isn't that what you meant?

Come on.

It's high time you announced your engagement.

I guess now is as good a time as any.

If Phil could take it.

A Griswold can always take it.

Here's to the happy couple.

Announcements by Tiffany.

Trousseau by Alex.

Honeymoon by Blue Star.

And alimony courtesy of the Griswold Sneed Investment Company.

I drink to you both.

With the champagne of the country.

If we're going to the Crew Race we'd better get started.

Greetings, friends. Greetings.

Did I hear someone say 'champagne'?

For you, my friend. - I thank you.

Ah .. white champagne.

My favorite kind.

Your health, brother.

Just time for one more drink before the Crew Race.

Three cheers for the princess.

Harvard, Harvard, Harvard.

He thinks he's at Harvard.

My friend, you're two hundred miles off your course.

This is Kingsford.

Kingsford?

Kingsford.

A typical Harvard man.

Come on. We haven't much time. - Yes. That's true.

Do you want to see that race?

No. I don't. - Neither do I.

What about going some place with me? I mean ..

Echo Beach opened last week.

Yes. Let's go.

Let's go and have some fun.

Yeah.

Well.

Nothing is ever as exciting as you think it's going to be.

Kingsford was.

But you haven't really seen Kingsford.

A bunch of spoiled kids whooping it up over a weekend. That's only one side.

It's the side I saw.

If that's all there was to Kingsford.

You think I'd have spent four years carrying laundry and washing dishes?

Why did you?

Well.

My father got his degree there and ..

His father too.

I guess there's a tradition about the place. It gets in your blood.

You know.

You know, 150 years ago the students in those same brownstone buildings ..

Laid down their books and picked up their muskets and ..

Went out and fought the revolutionary war and then ..

Jane.

Yes. I guess so.

You haven't heard a thing I've said, have you?

No.

Come on, come on.

You look like the spirit of Christmas past.

How about a smile?

Fancy meeting you here.

Yes. It's a small world.

Hello, Carol.

Hello Joe.

How was the Crew Race?

We didn't see it for the finish.

Phil thought this sounded like fun.

We decided to see how Mr and Mrs South Brooklyn spend their weekends.

Well.

Jane and I just decided we were beyond all this. We were just going.

You can't go now.

We had better.

Harvard. Harvard.

Rah-rah-rah.

Fresh air.

Shake him.

Come on, Betty.

Homer, wait for me.

Really. I don't see how Homer possibly gets like that after six lemonades.

Jane, I must talk to you. - There's nothing to talk about.

This is a divine spot. They will never find us here.

Okay.

Two tickets.

He is in there. He's in there with that woman.

Man overboard. Last one is a Harvard man.

Homer.

Homer, where are you?

Honestly. This is all too confusing.

It would take a genius to get out of here.

It's all done with mirrors.

Homer.

Homer. Where are you?

I hate places like this. I've got claustrophobia.

And Homer's got Betty.

Betty. Why can't she get a man of her own?

With that 1936 technique?

Poor Betty.

If she would only stop this prom trotting.

She should get married before she misses the boat altogether.

Girls. Here's the exit. - Where?

Where?

Where? Where is it?

Ah, there you are.

My dream queen.

I have missed you.

I have missed you too, Homer.

But loveliness, where are you?

Is that you?

Look.

Look at all the wonderful Betties.

Homer.

I'm sick of this place. Let's do something different.

Let's do something exciting. - Yes.

Alright. Come on.

Hello, babe.

Hello.

Say, how do you get out of this place? - Please don't go.

I want to explain about ..

That announcement of our engagement.

There had never been anything definite. We'd never even spoken about it.

Too bad Daphne put you on the spot.

It doesn't really matter.

After all, people are always falling in and out of engagements.

You and I can still have fun.

Thanks a lot, but from now on I'm passing up double dates.

Wait a minute. - Wait for what?

For somebody to make up your mind for you whether you're engaged or not?

Listen, where I come from ..

People get engaged because they are in love and want to get married.

Of course, that ..

That's probably too honest and simple for you and your crowd.

Where's Phil? - You mean, where's Homer and Betty?

Jane. Where are you going?

Jane. Don't leave yet. Stick around and have some fun.

You'll learn to love us as the years go by.

Listen, you wisecracking, back-knifing glamour girl.

I've had all of your kind of fun that I can use.

I wouldn't breathe the same air with you and your ..

Pedigree polo shirts for another five minutes.

Well, really. - Go ahead, Jane.

The glamour girls and their men.

Men? This herd of calves?

You can give me the mugs at the Joylane.

Mr and Mrs South Brooklyn ..

Know more about living than you and your whole phony crowd.

Champagne for breakfast.

Two-timing for lunch.

It's family and background that matter.

So listen, upper crust. Go home to your families and rest on your backgrounds.

For the pedigree and a nickel you can buy a cup of coffee in Kansas.

Boy, what a sucker I was.

I wanted to meet you.

The nice people.

I think she's got something there.

What is this? A revival meeting?

Did you ever in your whole life ..

Why, that awful girl.

She called you a calf.

Shut up.

Well, all you terrible people.

What kind of a hideous, blue-blooded time shall we have for ourselves now?

Read all about it. Extra, extra.

Come on. Loosen up, you guys.

Hey, I will buy your business.

Hey.

You're a big-shot.

Thanks.

Extra. Special. Get your Saturday night edition paper.

Read all about it.

What's wrong with the upper classes?

The night edition. What's wrong with the upper classes?

Get your special Saturday night edition. Extra!

Read all about it. What's wrong with the upper classes?

Phil.

Where are you going? - Telephone.

Dad.

Hello, dad.

Hello, Mr Phil.

This is Reeves. Your father isn't here.

He didn't say when he would be back.

Mr Phil, they took him down ..

Phil. Is it ..? - Yeah.

I'm going to New York.

Why did you give him my car?

He said it was his.

Which one of you dames is Mary Rose? - I am.

The screwball said to tell you he'd be home by September.

He has gone to get married. - To get married?

You dope. That's what you get for nagging him.

Phil. Take my car.

Thanks, Greg.

Phil.

I will go with you. - No. I think I'd better go alone.

You're sure? - Yes.

Yes, Carol. I am sure.

Well.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

I'll take you into Kingsford, Carol.

Carol.

How would you like to drive back to New York with me? Right now.

Thanks, Tommy. But ..

I think I'll go with Joe.

Darling. Wake up. Here we are.

Come on.

Ah, what are we doing here?

Homer.

We're going to be married. Don't you remember?

Married?

Married?

I don't want to get married.

But darling, we have to.

We told that parking attendant to tell everybody.

I'm not going to get married.

I'm a bachelor.

Betty. Wait for me. Don't leave me.

Gee, you are a swell sport, Betty.

"Poor Betty. She should get married before she misses the boat altogether."

"Betty. Why doesn't she understand priority?"

"Why doesn't she get a man of her own?"

"Why doesn't she get a man of her own?."

Betty.

Betty!

He is in here.

Dad. - Hello, Phil.

I would like to be alone with my son. - Yes, sir. Mr Griswold.

Everything is going to be alright, Phil.

I tried to get in touch with you yesterday before you saw the papers.

Things aren't quite as black as they're painted.

Dad.

They won't be able to keep me here.

And once this is over.

There's plenty of money I can get at.

The papers said you were bankrupt.

The Griswold Sneed Investment Company is bankrupt.

I see.

You've nothing to worry about.

I made sure of that.

There's quite a good chunk in your name.

No-one can touch that.

You can finish college and .. - Father.

If there's any money in my name it goes back to your stockholders.

There's no legal responsibility.

I'm not thinking about the law.

This is no time for schoolboy heroics.

Listen, son.

Ever since you were a child.

All I wanted was for you to have every possible advantage.

Father, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me.

But we have had the wrong ideas about advantages.

It's all so clear in my mind but I can't quite express it.

All I know is, I want no further part of this wacky selfish upper-crust business.

What about Carol?

That is over.

Carol and I didn't even need words to say goodbye.

I am sorry. - I am not.

It was all part of a phony set up.

You know, the last few days things have begun to have different meanings for me.

There's one thing that doesn't change its meaning, Phil.

Money.

You won't even be able to finish college without it.

Take it, son.

No.

No. Somehow all the things I've had and needed ..

College and security and all that social stuff.

It don't seem to mean a thing anymore.

They don't seem important.

Maybe last week I would have taken the money.

But now?

I know it's just no good.

I'm sorry.

It's a fine time for me to be preaching to you.

Phil.

I don't seem to have known you very well.

I don't seem to have known myself very well until the last few days.

You're sure about the money?

Yes. I am sure.

[ Door knocks ]

Mr Griswold. They want you down at the investigator's office.

Right.

Goodbye, Phil.

Goodbye, dad.

I know what it is.

You used to be stubborn like a kid.

Now you're stubborn like a man.

Good luck, son.

'Financier Griswold confesses guilt in the speediest trial of recent record'.

I told you they were a bunch of phonies.

Blue bloods, eh?

I wonder what young Mr Griswold the 3rd will do with himself now.

Not only does his old man go to jail.

The paper says the whole family is busted.

Flat.

You're in love with that big lug, aren't you?

After the run-around he gave you.

Now you feel sorry for him.

Why don't you go and tell him all about it?

Mavis.

He never wants to see me again. I know that.

If it just hadn't happened that way ..

Well .. it did.

Come on, honey.

No use crying over spilled bankers.

The dance floor is full of that type.

Pardon me, Miss. May I have the pleasure of this dance?

It's all mine.

Cut in, please.

It isn't ..

But this lady is .. - You don't understand.

This is my mother. - Yes. But she ..

I'm awfully glad that you came down here.

I wanted to see you before you left for Tahiti to tell you ..

Tahiti?

I'm not going to Tahiti, Red.

But you wanted to live your own life.

You wanted to go away and ..

And you can travel. - Red, I've been travelling for days.

But I couldn't get any further than the Joylane.

..t-g..