Original subtitles

You step on it, baby.

It's getting dark and I got a headlight out.

Simon!

Where are you, you little shit?

I'm going to round up the dog and beat his hairy little butt, okay?

All right, well, I'll be back.

Simon!

Where are you, you little shit?

Simon!

Where are you, you little shit?

I'm going to round up the dog and beat his hairy little butt, okay?

All right, well, I'll be back.

Simon!

Come here you little fuck-a-bot.

Come on, Simon!

Come on, Simon. Come here so I can win you behind.

Come on, boy.

Simon! Simon!

Oh, my God.

Help! Help!

Help!

Help!

Get away!

Simon!

Eddie. Eddie, someone's at the door.

Probably just another bill for what?

What are you talking about? It might be a customer. Come on.

Why do I look busy?

Oh, yes.

Uh, come in.

Are you open for business?

Business? Uh, yeah, sure, sure.

Come on in, Miss, uh...

Chambers. Dania Chambers.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Let me introduce you to my partner, Eddie Coldchild.

Eddie, we have company.

This is Miss Dania Chambers.

She wants us to do a job for her.

You'll have to excuse Eddie.

We just finished a tough job, and she's not here.

She's not here.

She's not here.

She's not here.

Excuse Eddie. We just finished a tough job,

and she's not fully recovered yet.

My goodness.

She'll be all right in a couple hours.

Won't she, Eddie?

Oh, she's got the constitution of a horse.

Now, what can we do for you?

Well, I'm sure you've seen this.

Nah, I haven't read a paper in weeks.

You know, we've been on that big job.

Damn.

It's all very tragic.

Except the part about the jewels.

Jewels?

Yes.

It seems that the thing that was living in that cave

was wearing a necklace of unpolished stones

valued at over half a million dollars.

Now, the theory is that

the jewels were stolen

from the unpolished stones.

Now, the theory is that this

thing was living in one of the caves

near the surface

like a hermit.

But I believe that it came

from somewhere else,

somewhere deeper in the earth.

Reliah.

You are familiar with the legend of Reliah?

Of course.

Yeah, I spent ten years of my life

looking for that fantasy.

I know.

The thought I recognized you,

you're Daniel Chambers, little girl, right?

I thought you were a friend.

I thought you were a friend.

I thought you were a friend.

I thought you were a friend.

I thought you were a friend.

You're Daniel Chambers, little girl, right?

Damn, I haven't seen you

since you were that high.

I remember.

My father used to speak

of you a lot.

Well, that was a long time ago.

Well, most of it

was good.

Yeah, it's been a long time. You still miss your old man.

Thank you. We all miss him.

He was one of the good guys.

What can we do for you?

I propose an

expedition, an expedition

to find the lost city

of Reliah.

It doesn't exist. I've looked for it.

We've all looked for it, including your father.

But I'm well aware of my father's exploits.

And just because something could not be found 20 years ago

does not mean it can't be found today.

You get a hell of a point there, Miss Chambers.

Call me Daniella.

Okay, Daniella, I'll lay out

our terms for a job like this.

Client pays all expenses up front.

Eddie and I take a grand a week each.

Two week minimum.

We split profits from anything we find

70-30. 30 for you, of course.

My father was not

exaggerating when he spoke of you, Mr. Eastman.

Call me Court.

Okay, Court.

Now I will tell you

what the deal will be on a job like this.

I'll pay all your expenses.

That's fine.

You and Eddie will each get

$200 a week.

You can have your two week minimum,

but you will earn it.

And we will split everything we make.

60-40.

You get the 40, of course.

We've got high overhead here.

That'll be the deal or there is no deal.

Now, I've brought

$3,000

to cover your fees

and to purchase equipment,

if that's all right with you.

I'll give it to you one day.

You sure as hell are your daddy's daughter.

When can we begin?

We just did.

It'll take me a couple of hours to gather some equipment

and we'll start the expedition proper in the morning.

But first I've got to see a man about a map.

A map?

Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but I know this guy

who's got a map to the area we're interested in.

It's kind of touched in the head,

but it's worth a shot.

I'm sure he's got a map.

I'm sure he's got a map.

I'm sure he's got a map.

I'm sure he's got a map.

It's kind of touched in the head, but it's worth a shot.

Can you be back here by 8 o'clock?

Certainly.

A map like that doesn't come cheap.

I'm warning you, Mr. Eastman.

Do not try to take advantage of me financially.

I wouldn't try to take advantage of you financially.

I wouldn't try to take advantage of you financially.

Good.

I would hate to have to ruin you.

Hey, partner, we're back in business.

I'm sorry.

Cord Eastman.

Jesus Christ.

It's been a long time, Bill.

Real long.

How you feeling?

Okay.

Can we come in?

Yes.

Cord, I can hardly believe it's you.

You look great.

Everybody misses you.

They do?

Well, you know, I've been kind of busy.

Yeah, I can see.

Still collecting those rock samples?

Oh, yeah. I'm still at it.

Oh, Bill, this is Miss D.

Nia Chambers.

Hi.

And you remember Eddie?

Hi.

Hi.

So,

what brings you all up here?

What brings you all up here?

I haven't had any visitors up here since...

I haven't had any visitors up here since...

You know, Cord.

I know.

I know.

That's why we're here.

You don't mean it, Cord.

I mean, you wouldn't.

I will.

I need help.

Your help.

Excuse me.

I don't mean to sound stupid,

but what exactly are we talking about here?

Bill here is a field geologist.

Bill here is a field geologist.

So?

He was also a member of the Reichman Party.

Yeah, the first party.

And the last.

Well, listen,

this calls for a celebration.

Sit down. Yeah.

A celebration.

I'll take one of those.

You want?

There it is.

There's one for you.

There's one for me.

Okay, get that there.

There's yours.

Okay.

Ah, here's to you.

Did you... did you injure your leg

in that party?

Yeah.

It was a hell of a party.

You know, that it's as...

it's as fresh in my...

in my mind today as it was when it happened.

This won't let me forget.

I don't suppose you'd care to let me in

on all of this?

Well, it doesn't improve with the talent,

but I think you should know.

And you should think about it.

Just think about it.

Before you all do something foolish.

See, it was just...

just an ordinary...

an ordinary exploratory expedition.

But it was the first expedition.

It was the first

exploration of the cave.

The ones that we're about to go into?

The very same one.

Bill, this was a long time ago.

Maybe so.

But that

doesn't make it any less real.

Deep inside that cave

there were

minerals and precious stones.

I mean, lying everywhere.

We've never seen anything like it.

None of us. None of us has seen

anything like that.

But it wasn't free easy

for the taking.

No. No.

We had to pay the price.

The melodrama is getting a little

thick in here.

Look, Bill, can we get to the point of this thing?

The point is

that something

or some things

down in that cave

killed the entire

Reitman party.

Everybody except me.

This leg is a blessing

compared to what they got.

I'm the lucky one.

I want the map.

Sorry, Corey.

Sorry. You can't have it.

Nobody gets it.

Invest.

Don't pass up opportunity.

I want that map now.

Come on, Bill.

It's our next. You can't protect the whole world.

She's right. Besides,

after this thing gets to light, I mean, everybody's gonna be down there

looking for it.

Yeah.

Look, if we don't get it,

somebody else will.

Yeah.

Here it is.

Reitman drew this himself.

Every line is correct.

It should be.

It cost him his life.

It may cost you yours.

I wouldn't bet on it.

Just be careful, Cawdor.

Please, please.

Be careful.

I will.

Eddie's a reckless one.

I'm sorry.

See you.

Be safe.

You sure act tough for society, Dame.

Yeah, well, I'm tough enough.

We'll see.

Hey, Eddie, time to wake up.

You look ready for action.

I'm impressed your luck, sister.

Here, have a cup of coffee. It'll make you feel better.

Thanks.

One time?

No, thanks. I already took a shower this morning.

Hey, great. Here comes Paris. Now we can get going.

Mr. Eastman, who are these people?

Hey, call me Court, honey.

Okay, Court, honey. Who are these guys?

Good morning, Mr. Eastman. I hope we're not holding you up.

No, no. We're just having our first cup of coffee.

Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to another member of our expedition.

Mr. Eastman.

Yes, sir.

I'm the chief of staff here.

I'm the chief of staff here.

I'm the chief of staff here.

I'm the chief of staff here.

I'm the chief of staff here.

I'd like to introduce you to another member of our expedition.

This is Miss Danina Chambers.

Dania.

Dania? She's financing this shindig.

Pleased to meet you. My name's Paris, Andrew Paris.

And I'm Professor Artemis Strach.

Hello.

Forgive me for being inquisitive, Miss Chambers, but

are you by any chance related to Daniel Chambers, the paleontologist?

Yes, he was my father.

How fortunate for us. I'm honored by your presence.

What exactly is it that you gentlemen do?

Oh, I'm an intern archaeologist at the Miskatonic Institute,

identification and classification division.

Yeah, that's right. When we find something,

that's the kid that's going to tell us what it is.

I see.

And Doc Strach there?

Professor Strach.

Sorry, Doc. He's a mineralologist. He'll tell us how much it's worth.

Oh, an appraiser.

Yes, I...

Yes, I... In this particular case, yes.

And this guy's cute, too.

Is there anyone else I should know about?

Just Pedro.

Pedro?

Oh, yeah, damn, I forgot about him.

Hey, Pedro, come on. Wake up.

Come on, wake up, man.

Oh, I think he needs some coffee.

Oh, no, Senorita, Eddie, I am up.

Buenos tardes, Doc.

Oh, Pedro here, he's going to watch our cars while we're gone.

Sí, sí, sí, señor, por favor.

Sí, sí, señor, por favor.

If we're not back in three days, he'll hightail it over the authorities.

If he doesn't steal our cars first.

Ah, Pedro, K. He's been with us for years.

Sí, I make my money the old-fashioned way.

Yeah, he steals it.

Well, now that we all got a chance to know each other,

can we get the hell out of here?

Yes, my feeling's exactly...

It's going to be a long walk up to the caverns.

So let's keep going.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Or, I don't know about this thing.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Hey, what are you talking about?

This is better than sleeping on the damn street.

Yeah, but I feel like we're babysitting

three special children, if you know what I mean,

and taking them on a terminal field trip.

Come on, Eddie.

The future couldn't be brighter if it was embroidered

in neon lights, huh?

That's life.

No matter which way you turn, fate always

sticks a foot out that trips you.

Damn, you're bringing me down, partner.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry.

Watch out.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Have you ever been on an expedition before?

No.

But my father used to tell me all about his travels

and his adventures.

Here you go. Professor Strack says

he was quite a trailblazer, a real man of courage.

That sounds like the opening

of a ten-cent novel.

What was he like?

He was okay

whenever he was around.

Um, he was a real quiet guy.

He never really talked a lot

unless, of course, he was talking about himself,

in which case you could not shut him up.

You sound a little bitter.

I don't mean to.

Look, what my father did

made him very happy.

Happier than spending any time with his family

could ever have made him.

I mean, some people are like that.

I'm a little bit like that.

I just want to find

a little of my own happiness, you know?

Whoa.

Great.

This is the place.

From here on, we deal strictly with the unknown.

If you value your lives,

you'll do exactly what I say when I tell you.

And how will that stay with you?

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

Mr. Eastman, I am not paying you

to threaten people.

You're not paying us to get eating alive

either, are you?

What does she mean?

Something came out of this cave a few days ago

that wasn't human.

It tore a kid's head clean off.

It can help you keep yours in place at the same time.

That way you get true value for your dollar.

The autopsy shows that the creature lived almost entirely...

on a diet of night-blooming fungus...

and human flesh.

Cannibals?

That's right, honey, cannibals.

And as soon as they figure out how to skin you...

they'll make a great snack.

Don't worry, I've taken care of everything.

Oh, did you notify our next-of-kin?

Eddie, you ain't got no next-of-kin.

Oh, I was talking about the Grand Dame over here.

Hey, that's what adventure's all about.

Taking risks.

You want out? There's still time.

Not a chance. I paid for this party...

and I'm in all the way.

You're one tough-talking dame.

Well, hey.

It's as black as caviar in here.

It's as black as caviar.

Eddie, why don't you come in?

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back.

Good job.

Why are you doing that?

I left my bag of breadcrumbs in the car.

You see, this will come in handy...

when we want to find a way out of here.

You mean we might actually get out of here alive?

Alive and rich, I hope.

All right, people, let's move it out.

A few more miles and we can take a break.

Come on.

Prehistoric cave-throwing.

Hey, somebody's playing a sax.

It's probably just the wind...

whistling through these tunnels.

Maybe.

We're pretty deep into this mountain.

What do you think, Juana?

Sounds like a horn I like.

What kind? I'm not sure.

Hey, remember those natives in New Guinea?

They had a horn like that.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

If they were natives in New Guinea, they'd have a horn like that.

We're a hell of a long ways from New Guinea now, Martha.

Yeah, if you move, we may get there by morning.

Which direction is that sound coming from?

And which direction are we going to walk?

Hey.

Listen.

As I said, it's just the wind.

Yeah, let's hope so.

Come on, 30 more minutes and we'll take a break.

Lane driver.

Professor.

Professor, you're the mineralogist.

Isn't this feldspar?

No.

What is it?

A rock.

This looks like a good place for Danny to bed down for the night.

Better than some I've seen.

Oh, am I beat.

Is it going to stay cold like this all the way through?

Well, the absence of sunlight does have a degenerative effect on temperature.

On the other hand, theoretically speaking, the sediment topography in the close confines should keep us well insulated.

What does that mean?

Oh, not to worry, Miss Chambers.

I doubt if it'll get any colder than it is right now.

Well, that's just fucking great.

It's colder than coarse feet in here now.

Is that all you brought?

Hey, I like to travel light, honey.

Yeah, moonshine light.

Don't forget my vitamins.

Well, this sterno should keep us warm.

Would anybody mind if I investigated some of the walls in these nearby caves?

Why do you want to do that?

I am a mineralogist.

Okay, dog, but stick close by and take my flashlight.

But I doubt very much if I could see without one of these.

Be careful, Professor.

Yes, maybe I, uh...

Maybe I can find some pet rocks.

Yeah, bring me back a big one, dog.

Professor.

Professor.

That guy's a nut.

If ever I saw 15 miles of rock that looked the same, this is it.

Amen to that.

Thanks.

Oh, boy, this stuff doesn't even need ice.

Well, give it back, partner, and let's drink it on the rocks anyway, huh?

What?

What the hell is that thing?

I'm taking notes.

Kid's all lit up and he hasn't had a drink yet.

Oh, lawyer.

Must be getting nearer.

Up in the air, Junior Birdman.

Up in the air, high and fly.

Up in the air, Junior Birdman.

Get your wings up in the sky.

Up in the sky.

Up in the sky.

Oh, my God.

No, wait, wait, wait.

No, no, I'm afraid. I don't want to hurt you.

No, please, don't be afraid.

No, I want to help you.

Don't be afraid.

When you hear the great announcement

The Junior Birdman's your wings of tin

Of tin, then you know you're Junior Birdman

And you understand you're boxed up tin

What the hell was that?

Sure as hell wasn't wind whistling down the tunnel.

Kid, you know how things work.

Oh, I have a gun. I have a gun.

Wait, wait, I've got a gun.

Easy, easy, easy. Get the flashlight.

Come on.

Where is it?

You must know how close we are.

Don't answer me.

Hey, what the hell's going on here?

She was hysterical.

I was trying to calm her down.

I wanted to find out who she was.

Maybe she's one of them cannibals.

She doesn't look like a cannibal.

Yeah, well, she doesn't look anorexic either.

One thing's for sure, something scared her big time.

Yeah, and whatever the hell it is, it's still here.

Let's get back to our stuff.

Good idea.

Come with us, child.

Oh, I have to slap her again, Strock.

I think she likes it.

We're not gonna hurt you.

We're here to protect you.

Come on, let's ditch her.

She'll come with us.

Okay, kid, but she's your responsibility.

We're split.

Come on.

Come on.

Let's haul it, people.

Come on.

Come on, let's pack this gear and get the hell out of here.

Mr. Easton, what do you think that sound is?

Two men says it's a bunch of those mutant cannibal bastards

that we read about.

If it is, what are we gonna do?

Well, there's no reason to panic.

There are six of us, and we do have weapons.

Dark's right.

Thought you were tough, Chambers.

Tough, not stupid.

Aw, shit, guess who's coming to dinner.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Maybe, maybe we should try to communicate with them.

Maybe we should try to communicate with them.

Maybe we should try to communicate with them.

Hello.

Now that's communication.

Sure as hell is.

Idiots.

How do we know they meant to harm us?

What the hell are you talking about, Doc?

They looked at us like we were a supermarket.

They'll be back in a minute.

They looked at us like we were a supermarket.

Deli platter. Smorgasbord.

Champagne brunch.

Probably just as frightened as we were.

Lucky for us, they weren't armed.

What's that smell?

You got a scientific explanation for this?

Look at that.

Oh, yeah, Doc.

I think this little expedition paid off real fine.

Here, this ought to pay for a couple of backpacks.

Reload those guns.

My goodness.

Court, I think we ought to get out of here.

It sounds like they're regrouping.

They're probably coming back to avenge their friend.

With three enforcements.

Maybe a whole goddamn army and then...

Wait a minute, where's the girl?

She had to have gone this way.

What are we going to do?

I think we ought to follow the little lady.

It looked like she knew where she was going.

Let me go!

What the hell's the matter with you?

I'm trying to be your friend, you tub of shit!

Let me go!

Get off of her!

If you snag my sweater, I'll kill you!

Let me go!

What is climbing, mutated fuck-monger?

Use the light! They can't stand the light!

Come on, get in the line!

Get out of here!

Come on, go, go!

Professor!

Come on, professor.

Are you all right?

Thanks for the hand, kid.

Hey, you two.

Where's Dania?

She's in the hospital.

Where's Dania?

I don't know.

I must have taken her.

Taken her, sure, but where?

I bet she knows.

Honey, let's go. Take us to where they got her.

Mr. Eastman, I realize this is a terrible thing,

but we've got to resign ourselves to the fact that she's dead.

Now, trying to rescue a corpse is only going to endanger all of us.

I'm afraid I don't agree with you, Doc.

The lady paid for this outing,

and if she's still alive, I plan to get her back.

What's the matter, Strock, wimping out?

I am just trying to be sensible.

After all, I was the one who tried to communicate with her,

but, oh, no, no, you made it all impossible.

Well, guess what, Doc? You're going to get a second chance.

I say let's give it a shot.

Okay, honey.

Where are they?

Come on, sister, we ain't got all day.

No, no, let me. Which way?

It's that way.

Okay, folks, let's move out and keep those guns locked and locked.

Forget the guns.

The battle's going to be one with these.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Yes, yes, yes! Yes, my God!

Oh, my God!

It's pretty warm in here.

No argument there.

We're making a slow descent into the earth.

I think as we go deeper, I'm afraid it's going to get even hotter.

Yeah, well, let's just hope we don't wind up in a crockpot.

Now who's wimping out?

I was just joking, Doc, trying to use the suspense for you.

She grew up in a tough neighborhood. You know something?

What is it?

Look, this smells like her perfume.

Really? Try it.

Maybe you know, doesn't it?

That's it.

Let's get out of here and go.

Ah! Let me go!

Oh, where are you taking me?

Oh, what is this place?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

What are you going to do to me?

Oh! Ah!

Oh! Ah!

Keep your hands off of me! What are you doing?

All right, now, everybody, just calm down.

Just calm down. Oh, my God!

Ah!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Ah! Ah!

Oh, my God!

Ah!

Oh, my God!

Ah! Ah!

Ah!

Phone.

Phone.

From the looks of her, we must be getting close.

We must be getting close. Better turn off the flashlight.

The walls of these caves have a strange illumination of their own.

We shouldn't have any trouble finding our way into this fungus.

It seems to give off a strange glow.

Yeah, I've seen something like this in a gym locker room.

Hey, quiet down, old man. We've got to sneak in there.

So let's take it nice and slow.

First, we'll hit them with the flashlights and only shoot if necessary.

Oh, shoot it, huh?

I'm staying here. I'm too old for this sort of thing.

You're never too old to be a blue-plated vessel.

Doc, you be ready to haul ass.

I don't know any of this.

This must be the place.

What makes you think that?

Stop hanging out there.

Oh, God! Help! Get me off of this!

What makes you think she's still alive?

I think we got here just in time. They're making a party.

Somehow I get the feeling this is not the first time they've done this.

Please, Doc!

Please!

Hey, watch it, buddy!

You guys know what to do.

Oh, boy. What's the new kid?

This could be what's left of an entire species.

We can't just run in there and blow these people away.

Hey, people, they're monsters, and don't forget it.

Now let's get in there and kick some ass.

Oh, my God! Listen, guys, are this about your friends' necklace?

Oh, because it's in my bag.

Honestly, I don't... Oh, my God!

I'm young, but I'm very tough. You won't like the way I...

Oh, you bastards! You won't get away with this!

You heard the lady. Let's go!

Thank God you're here!

Hang on, girl.

Okay, roll it out. Easy, easy.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Spock.

God, glad you're here. I feel like I lost 15 pounds.

No, you didn't, sweetheart. They're right behind you.

Come on, let's beat it. Get dressed, Eddie.

Let's get the doc and the dame and get the hell out of here.

Let's go.

Wait, wait, wait!

Oh, God!

Come on.

Come on, move ass!

Can I just hold it?

Oh, God!

Doc!

Oh, ask the professor your pet box.

What's happening?

You don't want to know. No.

Oh, yes!

My cell phone!

Damn! Our batteries must be affected by the high iron content of these walls.

I would suggest you get ready to start shooting.

What's the matter, Spock? I thought you wanted to chat with these guys.

They can't talk with their mouths.

Damn straight, now!

Oh, my God!

They've woken up! Oh, no!

I sure hope the hell you know where you're going, honey.

That makes five of us.

Look, there's a light up there.

Great. Now maybe we can get out of here.

Come on, let's light the fire.

We're going to make heaven a garden.

What the hell's that?

Oh, Doc! Doc!

Oh, my God!

Okay, watch it!

I'm doing it!

Get him! Get him!

Get away from him!

Get my arm off!

Get my arm off!

Move it!

Oh, Doc! Oh, Eddie!

No! No!

Yes! Yes!

I got him!

Quick thinking, Miss Chambers.

See you soon, girl.

Quick thinking.

I saved you.

I saved you.

I saved you.

I saved you.

Quick thinking.

I saved your life.

Hey, what are you talking about?

Asbont's ready to roll out of his way.

He was about to turn you into a big tab.

Come on, it's all in the reflexes, Eddie.

Look, while you two are arguing,

do you have any idea what you're arguing about?

Aren't you interested in this thing that attacked us?

Well, hell, Doc, it's just a robot.

Robots are indigenous to this area.

I got a point there, Doc.

Superior design.

I don't recognize this alloy.

There's nothing like this in existence on Earth, to my knowledge.

Well, you must have skipped a class at school, kid,

because the Earth stands.

Your statement presumes that this machine was made on Earth, Mr. Easton.

You mean this could be from...

Anywhere.

Oh, come on, Doc.

Hey, where's the girl?

She split down the end of the cave.

You certainly are interested in that savage.

I know someone who's jealous.

My interests are purely scientific, I assure you.

I don't care.

You know, I was just...

It doesn't even matter.

Listen, when you two are done lying to each other,

could you help us figure out how to get the hell out of here, maybe?

Get out. When we're so close to our goal...

Stop.

What are you talking about now, Doc?

Reliah.

Would somebody mind telling me what all this reliah crap is about?

Well, it's a myth, a legend.

Like the lost city of Atlantis.

Except under the ground, not under the ocean.

Yeah, it's a lost civilization.

Well, that sure tells me a whole fuck of a lot.

Mr. Easton, would you like to be the first of our expedition to set foot on Reliah?

No, Doc, you be my guest.

So this is Reliah, huh?

Where's the red carpet?

We're close. I know we are.

Oh, face it, Doc.

It was a myth then, it's a myth now.

But the robot...

No, it's probably some kind of secret government mining tool

that went renegade and ended up down here.

And the girl?

You and that girl.

Probably one of those mutants' wives.

She's trying to get a divorce, huh?

She didn't look too mutated to me.

You looked awfully close, too, didn't you?

Well, at least the mutants haven't followed us.

Not yet, anyway.

Judging by the look of the eyes of the ones you shot,

they must be very light sensitive.

It's probably too bright here.

So what happens when it gets dark?

I seriously doubt it will get any darker than this.

Yeah, that volcano, we'll see to that.

Yeah, but you're forgetting one thing, Doc.

One of those things, whatever it is,

killed a guy in a brightly lit park a few days ago.

And one of those creatures probably got lost in the caverns.

It became so hungry that by the time it surfaced,

it had no choice.

It had to brave the light and find food.

Let's hope they're not all that hungry.

What's the matter, getting shy all of a sudden?

What?

Oh, get a load of this shit.

Are they for real?

Yeah, they're for real.

Now, lay your guns down easy.

Easy.

Oh, what the hell next?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh, what the hell next?

Oh, man, it looks like some kind of freaked out carnival ride

that got loose.

All right.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

I know someone who's jealous.

Shut up.

She speaks English.

She's stunning.

You're not deaf.

Don't be dumb.

We're from the surface.

But you can die down here.

You're damn poor specimens for surface types.

I'm...

Excuse me, lady, but we ain't specimens.

Oh, shit.

Don't worry, folks, I got this under control.

Ah.

Ah!

Big mouth, small brain.

Smooth cord, very smooth.

Ah! Ah!

You bitch!

Ah!

Shit!

Damn, lady, all I wanted to do was sit up front.

Take the men to the cell.

That's for you.

Looks like she's got a crush on the kid.

Must be his aftershave.

I think they want us to go with them.

Did you go to school to get that smart?

Hey, watch it with that thing.

Hey, don't worry, girls.

I'll think of something, come back and rescue you.

Well, wait right here.

Hey, Doc, you're a rock, man.

Tell me, how do they get light down here with no sun?

I haven't the faintest idea.

And those women? What about those women?

How do they survive down here with no men?

I haven't the faintest idea.

I got it, Doc.

They're going to use us for breeding stock.

What a dumb idea.

You can't have fun here.

I bet.

Look, I have this life on the surface and I really should get back.

I think I left the oven on.

Or else.

Are you from another planet?

Ship crashed.

It's useless now.

Can it be repaired?

The robot mined crystals, diamonds, could have been fuel.

But you destroyed that hope.

Sorry about that, but he did try to excavate our skulls, you know.

Well, now your people will take its place in the mines.

And when the ship's ready, you and I'll move on.

Right?

Well, since you put it that way...

Since you put it that way...

This is a pretty boring little tour here.

What say we lose these llamas?

What if they chase us?

I don't know.

You scared the willies out of me.

Hey, Doc, it looks like we're being sprung.

Wait, you think we'd trust her?

Never look a gift cave girl in the mouth.

You're right.

I'll be right back.

Well, it won't be long before they know we've escaped.

What's the plan?

I don't know, round everybody up and get the hell out of here.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

How dare you come in here?

I'll be back.

Don't be long.

Mr. Eastman.

Mr. Eastman, do you think this girl really knows where she's going?

Well, either way, the way I figured she must be taking us to where the kids be in hell.

Whatever young Andrew is, I'm sure he's a hell of a lot better off than we are.

Well, either way, she's the only guide we got.

Well, we'd better get moving, Doc.

Oh, sure.

Keep moving, keep moving.

I'll be right back.

You know, I think I've preferred the caves to this.

Well, listen, if you don't like it, you can go back.

I've got to find court, okay?

Well, can we at least sit down for a while?

I mean, we haven't had any sleep or anything.

Okay. Let's pull up a rock.

Oh.

What's the matter, Doc? Do we faint?

No, no, it's this plant.

Plant? What about its poisonous?

Oh, it's prehistoric.

What?

Yeah, there hasn't been anything like this on Earth since the Mesozoic Age.

I mean, that's a very good point.

I mean, it's a very good point.

I mean, it's a very good point.

It's prehistoric.

What?

Yeah, there hasn't been anything like this on Earth since the Mesozoic Age.

Oh, come on, Doc. I mean, I've seen millions of them just like that.

I seriously doubt it.

Anytime I've ever seen anything like it, it was encased in a piece of fossilized rock.

Well, why don't you fill your pockets with seed and let's get the hell out of here.

She seems kind of upset. I wonder what's eating her.

I'm afraid we're going to find out.

Damn, that stinks. What the hell is it, Doc?

I could tell you, but you're not going to like it.

Try me.

It's a...

It's a dinosaur.

Or what's left of it.

A dinosaur. Get out of here.

Or what's left of it.

Get out of here. Do I look that stupid?

It's probably a plant eater.

It's probably a plant eater.

Slow.

Stupid.

Easy prey.

For what?

For some gigantic flesh eater.

A tyrannosaurus, an allosaurus, perhaps.

Now, that's incredible.

Do you realize we have probably made one of the greatest scientific discoveries of all time.

Only we're never going to live to tell anybody about it.

Now, let's not lose heart, Doc.

Little cave bunny here survived and so are we. Huh?

What the hell kind of survival is it if we have to live here?

Come on. Let's get the hell out of here before something comes back for its lunch.

Come on, Doc.

Oh, boy.

Oh, I wish we had something to eat. I'm starving.

There. Got it.

What... What is this?

You don't expect me to eat this, do you?

No. I thought you might go over there and kill that thing and then we'll cook him.

That thing?

Yeah. Over there.

Oh, my God.

How... How long has that creature been there?

Oh, I don't know. Let's see. How long have we been here?

You mean that thing has been sitting there this whole time and you knew it and you didn't tell me?

How dare you?

Leave him alone. He ain't hurting nobody.

Besides, I think he's kind of cute.

Cute?

Oh, God. Do you think he'll just kill us right away or do you think he'll just play with us for a while

until we get so sick and scared that we die and then maybe he'll peck us with that awful beak

and use that tongue and hit us with his left foot and hit us with his right?

Oh, God. What are we gonna do?

We'll slip out the back way, okay?

Come on, now. Let's go.

This is like a lost world, you know? Like in the movies.

Yeah, I kind of figured that. Now all we need is Gene Hawking.

Who?

Never mind. Hey, look over there.

Oh, my God. Is there no end to this nightmare?

I thought you said you were going to kill us.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Is there no end to this nightmare?

I thought you said you were hungry. Those guys look like good eating to me.

Yeah, well, I could believe that, but they're the ones that are doing the eating.

Oh, they don't look so scary. They're just like big puppies with poker chips on their back.

It's all the same to you. Could we just sneak away while we can?

Must be where they had the kid.

All right. Let's get it over with.

What's wrong, honey? Huh?

Jesus, now. There's something you don't see every day.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Let's get the hell out of here.

Come on.

Oh, what the hell are we going to do about her?

Screw her. She can handle it herself.

Come on. Let's get back to the cave and rescue everybody.

Well, she's got her hands full.

Ah!

Now, if I'm right, this path ought to lead us back to the caves.

Then what?

Well, maybe we'll find court and the others and fight our way out of this lost world or this time warp or whatever the hell this place is.

Look at that.

Whoa.

Hot damn.

They look like giant diamonds.

Whoa. I wish I could put one of them in my pocket.

You know, they're probably worth millions of dollars.

And who says size doesn't matter?

I'm speechless.

Now, there's a twist.

Come on.

The cave's this way.

Come on.

Anybody else want some of this?

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Now's our chance to get him out, Doc.

Hey, keep going, honey. You're doing great.

Hey, guys.

Yeah, you got yourself in a hell of a shape.

Just in time. The honeymoon was just about ready to begin.

Don't thank us, kid. Thank Cave Bunny over there.

I think she likes you.

It's my curse, you know. It's always been like this.

It's just something I've had to live with.

Now, that's a tough break, kid.

Listen, Cave Bunny, can you get us out of here?

Which way?

Move!

Move!

She knows where she's going.

Oh, Jesus.

Come here.

Now we can get out of here.

Still in one piece, I see.

Yeah, it was terrible. It was just awful.

I bet.

Now we should figure out a way to escape.

Doc's right.

So what's the plan, Cora, baby?

Listen, what if we get that Land Rover and drive the hell out of here?

That makes sense.

But which way?

Wait a minute. The vehicle. Where is it?

It's that way.

How the hell do you do that?

It's a trade secret. Trade secret.

What's that?

That's the big lady spaceship.

Get out of here.

She's from another planet.

Amazing.

Screw that. Doc, look.

Hey, Doc, what the hell are these?

Diamonds. Diamonds.

Hundreds of them.

Hey, kid, pick your stuff up.

I'm going to get them.

Diamonds. Hundreds of them.

Hey, kid, pick yourself up out of the wedding ring.

I'll take a bagful.

For God's sake, for your pockets, hurry.

That's not a bad idea. Hey, Eddie.

For you, sweetheart.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

No.

Come on. Come on. Let's go.

Hey, don't stand too close to that thing.

You might fall in.

You'd miss me, baby, wouldn't you?

Damn right I would. You're one of a kind.

All right, let's move it out.

You'll be sorry.

There it is.

Hell of a party, ladies. See you next year.

Everybody get inside. Come on, Doc.

Come on.

You killed me.

Now, Doc.

Small brains.

Whoa.

All right, let's burn some rubber.

Whoo.

Whoa.

Watch it, baby. Watch it.

Gordon, is there anything I can do?

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, well, why don't you cover

a cave bottom here? I can't concentrate.

Right.

All right, let's get it in gear.

Come on, puppy. Chuck Wiggin.

Whoa.

Come on. Punch it, baby. Punch it.

I got it to the floor now.

Kid, you got to tell me how you do that.

What?

What can I say?

It's a chemical imbalance.

I...

Hey, listen, kid.

When we get back to the service,

I want some of that stuff.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Damn it.

I told you to watch it.

What is happening?

This baby's stuck. Stuck?

Anybody got a bigger tunnel?

Hey.

That's hydraulic fluid.

I think this thing's over.

We got to get out of here.

This thing's going to explode.

Explode?

Get out of here.

Go!

That way. That tunnel.

Go.

Go.

Come on, Doc.

Next stop, sporting goods and lingerie.

All right, here you go.

Damn thing. I can't believe

we got to get out of here.

Kid, run in!

Hit the deck. It's going to blow.

So much for Reliah.

I'm lost again.

That place belongs lost, kids.

And after that cave-in,

it's going to stay lost.

At least we didn't come away empty-handed.

No, we did okay by ourselves.

Well, what about her and her kind?

Poor old buddy.

We're salvagers, not psychoanalysts.

Whatever the fuck you say.

We're not going to let you get away with it.

We're going to get away with it.

We're going to get away with it.

We're not psychoanalysts.

Whatever the fuck that means.

Let's go home.

Hey, Court, what about her?

Who cares?

It's champagne time and I'm buying.

60-40?

You get the 40!

Come on, Doc.

Come on, Professor.

Now you're going to be sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The End