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1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:12,000
# I know we're older now
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,600
# And lost again
3
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:23,160
# Down at the cul-de-sac
4
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,720
# You left, my friend
5
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,840
# Will you come back
6
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,560
# Come back again?
7
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,720
# Will you come back
8
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,440
# Come back again?
9
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,200
# I put the kettle on
10
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,640
# The wise man's song
11
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,000
# For you. #
12
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,320
Hello, Michael.
13
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,680
Morning... Morning.
14
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,600
Yeah, I was just wondering about
your garden, actually, mate,
15
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,240
to be honest.
16
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,640
What about it?
17
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,640
Well, I mean, it's getting a bit
overgrown now, you know.
18
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,640
Starting to cut out a lot
of light, so...
19
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,320
Right, well, I'll sort that, then.
20
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,640
Wicked. OK, you reckon
you'll get a chance?
21
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,000
Definitely. Awesome.
22
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,640
Did you get the letter from
the council?
23
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,640
Probably. I never open them.
24
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,920
Bloody council, eh?
Always after something.
25
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,600
Well, there might one about
the, erm...
26
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,360
Doesn't matter.
27
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,160
You reckon you'll get a chance,
though?
28
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,480
Take it back a bit? Yep.
29
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,800
Yes. Awesome. Awesome.
30
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,240
All right. See you later, buddy.
31
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,760
Cheers, Cliff.
32
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,160
It's Clive.
33
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,440
See you soon!
34
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,080
Oi, oi!
35
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,440
Here he is then,
The Beard, The Legend!
36
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,320
WILD LAUGHTER
37
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,920
Michael! Michael!
38
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,440
Mike!
39
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,880
WILD LAUGHTER
40
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,880
All right, Brigham?
41
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:01,720
# Wow!
42
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,680
# She's got it
43
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,080
# Yeah, baby, she's got it... #
44
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,240
TANNOY JINGLE
45
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,040
Can Kacey come to Sealants
and Grouting with a mop and bucket?
46
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,560
Trish, it's Gordon, what's this mop
for? Has something been spilled?
47
00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,280
Speak to me, Trish.
48
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,400
TANNOY: Just a spillage in
Sealants and Grouting.
49
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:25,800
Use the comms, please, Trish.
50
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,400
What's been spilled?
51
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,600
TANNOY: Just trying to find out.
52
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,200
Use the comms, Trish, not
the tannoy.
53
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,960
TANNOY: Some sort of sealant.
54
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,360
Get a mop. Get it cleaned up.
55
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,720
Uh, no, you don't understand.
56
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,800
Why would we sell six screws in
a biodegradable paper bag,
57
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:51,160
when if we only sell them in
polyurethane tubs of 500,
58
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:55,320
the customer is forced into buying
much more of them?
59
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,560
Making us much, much more money.
60
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,600
I see.
61
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,560
Do you have a hand-drill?
62
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,760
INCREDULOUSLY: A hand-drill?
63
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,280
We stopped stocking
hand-drills in 1953.
64
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,520
What was 1953?
65
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,800
The Queen's Coronation.
66
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,920
Have you been on your break? Which
break - lunch break? Tea break.
67
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:28,960
No.
68
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,520
Vending machine needs stocking up.
69
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,600
Double Deckers. Double Deckers.
Got it.
70
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,200
And beef Discos, then go on your
break.
71
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,120
Double Deckers, beef Discos, break.
72
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,120
SHE MOUTHS
TANNOY: Could the owner of a small
73
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,880
child wearing yellow dungarees
please come to the power tools
74
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,360
section in aisle three.
75
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,880
Michael! Michael!
You out clubbing tonight?
76
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,040
WILD LAUGHTER
77
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,520
Absolute legend!
78
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,840
See you there.
Mine's a whisky and coke!
79
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,360
Hello, Hilary.
Oh, hello, love.
80
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,320
He's in the lounge. Thanks.
81
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,960
Has he been all right?
Yeah, I think so.
82
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,600
Building his contraptions.
83
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,080
Telling his stories, you know.
84
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,680
Keeping everyone amused.
85
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,280
See you later.
86
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,400
Oh.
87
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,960
Hello, Dad. Ah. You all right?
Hello, son.
88
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,640
You back from your travels?
89
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,120
I haven't been anywhere, Dad.
90
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,080
I must have nodded off.
91
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,120
You've been busy.
92
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,720
Oh, yeah, yeah.
93
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,240
Does it work?
94
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,760
Erm, sometimes, yeah.
95
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,320
Here you are, then.
96
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,400
Oh? Have a go.
97
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,200
Where does it start?
On the book.
98
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,960
What here? Yes. Yeah.
99
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,920
CHUCKLING
100
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,440
CHIMING
101
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:23,880
CHUCKLING
102
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,960
That is fantastic, Dad!
103
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,440
Oh, well.
104
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,560
Utter waste of time.
105
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,560
Oh, I don't know.
It keeps your brain ticking over.
106
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,440
Who brings you the Brazil nuts?
107
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:41,320
You what? You've always got
a bowl of shelled Brazil nuts.
108
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,160
Oh, yeah, she gives 'em to me,
Gladys.
109
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,000
Her granddaughter brings them
for her,
110
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000
but her dentures can't cope with
the nuts,
111
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,400
so she just sucks the chocolate off.
112
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,440
I never touch them.
113
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,480
So, er, what have you been up to?
114
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,840
You know, this and that.
Working at the DIY place.
115
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,440
Ah. How's Clea?
116
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,720
Is she well?
117
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:08,320
Clea went away, didn't she, Dad,
years ago now.
118
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,720
You remember? We don't know where
she went.
119
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,920
Oh, shit, I forgot.
120
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,200
Yeah. At Christmas-time.
121
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,480
Yes. Christmas Eve.
122
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,640
No news?
123
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,560
No answers? No.
124
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,800
Just questions.
125
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,520
Lots of questions.
126
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,560
I'm sorry, son.
127
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,720
It's all right.
128
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,360
I actually don't mind talking
about her.
129
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,120
Friends tend to avoid the subject.
130
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,880
Ow!
131
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:38,920
What is it?
132
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,320
A draughts piece? No, hang on...
133
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,400
Pontefract cake.
134
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,120
Oh, I know who you are!
135
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,280
I know who's doing it!
136
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,080
SNORING
137
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,280
Bastards!
138
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,920
Hey, it's all right, Dad.
139
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,760
While I remember, would you post
my competitions for me?
140
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,040
Yeah, yeah. Of course I will.
141
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,240
Can't you get one of the staff here
to post them for you?
142
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,240
I don't trust them. They just chuck
them in the bin.
143
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,280
Dad, I'm sure they wouldn't,
but, yes, I'll take them for you.
144
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,520
What are you going to win?
145
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,920
Er, fishing equipment,
knitting machine,
146
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,680
and, er, this one's a hot tub.
147
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,840
Oh, nice, all very useful.
148
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,520
Here you go, dinner's up.
149
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:27,680
Shall I leave you to it?
150
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,280
All right, sunshine.
Will I see you tomorrow?
151
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,640
Yeah. I'll be here.
152
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,560
Maybe we can talk about her, then.
153
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,680
Who...? Who's that?
154
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,280
Clea. Clea...
155
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,600
Oh, Clea! Oh, lovely Clea.
156
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:44,800
Give her my love.
157
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,280
I love you, Dad.
158
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,200
PHONE RINGS
159
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,480
# And the tape rolls on
160
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,560
# Another year gone... #
161
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,440
DOOR SHUTS
162
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,640
We don't encourage people to be
creative here.
163
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,600
We pretend we do.
164
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,840
Take the paint mixing service,
for example.
165
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,920
People think they're making
something unique, but really we're
166
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,800
only allowed to mix them in one of
a dozen different ways.
167
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,760
You see, we can't run the risk of
a customer
168
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,440
accidentally discovering a brand-new
colour, copyrighting it,
169
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,160
and then going on to make millions.
170
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,120
Like what happened in the United
States of America.
171
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,720
Somebody discovered a new colour?
172
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,240
Never seen before.
173
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,480
They're going to introduce it over
here next year, but we're going to
174
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,480
have to change all our printers
and tellies
175
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,240
so that they can deal with it.
Well, what's it called?
176
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,960
Frelliple. Frelliple?
Probably.
177
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,560
What's it look like?
178
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,680
Now you're asking!
179
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,560
It's kind of a very dark
sort of white.
180
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:32,520
With sort of... It's gre... If you
can imagine a kind of red and blue.
181
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,320
It's like stripes, it's almost
see through.
182
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,960
It's basically tartan.
183
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,600
It's impossible to describe.
184
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,920
One thing I do know is that,
as soon as I can,
185
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,880
I am treating myself to a shirt made
from the finest frelliple silk.
186
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,080
Have you taken your break?
187
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,480
I've only been here an hour!
188
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,640
Take your break now, because Andre's
in the warehouse this afternoon.
189
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,000
Now?
190
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,360
All right?
191
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,960
It's Kace... Kacey? Yeah.
192
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,280
I didn't realise you were in today.
193
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,760
Yeah, I've been in here an hour
and a half. No-one's noticed. Oh.
194
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,600
Do you...? Do you want a cup of tea
or are you not bothered?
195
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,040
Is that beard itchy?
196
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,440
Itchy? No.
197
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,720
Why would I have a beard if it
was itchy?
198
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,760
Looks itchy.
199
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,360
Looks like it would feel itchy.
200
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,120
Thank you. You're welcome.
201
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,280
Why do you have a beard?
Why do you wear a hat?
202
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,040
I'm not wearing a hat.
203
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,440
No, but if you were, that would be
my response to you.
204
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,080
Why do you have your ears pierced?
That's a better example.
205
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,360
Why do you have your ears pierced?
206
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,920
Just because. There you go.
It's... It's just because.
207
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,960
Mm.
208
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,080
That were funny before when you
thought I was calling you a wanker.
209
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,800
Who were you calling a wanker,
Gordon?
210
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,080
Of course Gordon.
211
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,800
I mean, don't you think he's such
a wanker?
212
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,520
I haven't really thought about it.
Go on, have a think.
213
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,800
Yeah, I suppose he is a bit.
214
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,600
Yeah, you watch, now that
I've pointed it out,
215
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,120
you'll notice it all the time.
216
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,880
QUIETLY: Christ..
Are you on your break? Yep.
217
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,200
How long have you been on your
break? About ten minutes.
218
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,320
How long have you been on
your break?
219
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,040
Two minutes, you literally just sent
me on my break.
220
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,640
See?
221
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,840
Have you been here years, then?
222
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,880
Five years.
223
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,600
Can I...? Yeah.
224
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,240
What did you do before this?
225
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,960
I was an underwater welder.
226
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,760
What does that mean?
Which part, underwater or welder?
227
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,200
Both, when you put them together.
228
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,160
Well, I welded things that were
underwater,
229
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,680
which meant that I had to go
underwater, too.
230
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,640
In like the diving gear
and everything?
231
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,840
Almost always.
232
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,000
What sort of things need welding
underwater?
233
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,720
Ships, oil rigs...
234
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,000
Mainly ships and oil rigs.
235
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,920
But isn't welding like fire?
236
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,560
Yes. Oh, so how does that
work, then?
237
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,280
Would you like me to explain?
No, actually, you're all right.
238
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,640
Why'd you give it up?
239
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,080
It's a young man's game,
underwater welding.
240
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,440
You can't do it for too long.
241
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,720
Takes its toll.
242
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,400
And did you have the beard then,
or..?
243
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,920
No. I wouldn't have been able to get
a watertight seal
244
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,320
around me diving mask.
Oh, yeah, I was going to say.
245
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,320
Hi, Hilary, is he in...?
246
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,320
Hello, love. He's in his room. OK.
247
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,640
Can I have a word?
248
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,880
It's a bit awkward.
249
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,080
Your dad's been taking the empty
water bottles
250
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,440
and hiding them in his room.
251
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,840
The water cooler bottles?
252
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,840
The thing is they collect the
empties on Wednesday.
253
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,360
What's he taking them for?
254
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,480
I don't know, he's saying it
wasn't him.
255
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,200
Well, are you sure it was him?
256
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,760
I've seen him taking them.
257
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,720
He keeps an eye out for when
they're nearly empty
258
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,760
and then smuggles them away
when he thinks no-one's looking.
259
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,400
All right, er, thanks, Hilary.
260
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,240
I'll see if I can work out
what's going on!
261
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,000
KNOCKING
262
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,000
Hello, Dad. Hello, son.
Come on in.
263
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,720
Shut the door. You all right?
What are you looking for?
264
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,760
Shut the door.
265
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,840
I remembered something.
266
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,080
Something that'd help with
your problem.
267
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,320
What problem was that?
268
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,040
What we talked about yesterday.
269
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,240
You know, I know where you can get
some answers.
270
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:13,000
I am sorry, Dad, I'm being dim.
What were we talking about?
271
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,040
Homunculi!
272
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,240
Come again?
273
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,520
Alchemy.
274
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,520
Can't talk about it here.
They'll be listening in.
275
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,680
Let's go for a walk.
276
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,280
Take a look in there.
277
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,480
What've you got these for, Dad?
278
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,520
Did I ever tell you about Egypt?
279
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,840
I think so, yes, when you were on
National Service?
280
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,120
That's right.
When I was there I met a man,
281
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:52,880
an old mystic, Italian, and he was
studying metaphysics
282
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,760
and alchemic lore. OK...
283
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,800
Anyway, I became an apprentice,
really, so to speak.
284
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,400
I was the only one he trusted to
help him with his experiments.
285
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,800
OK...
286
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:09,880
Eventually this brilliant man
managed to grow, and generate
287
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:14,320
homunculi, tiny prophets who lived
in great glass jars full of water.
288
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,280
Wait a minute, Dad. I remember this
story. You used to tell it to me
289
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,080
before bed. Little people in jars.
290
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,480
But, Dad, I don't think it actually
happened.
291
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,760
Oh, it did happen, I was there,
I saw them, there were six of them.
292
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:32,800
Yeah, I remember, there was
a king and a queen, a monk...?
293
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:38,360
A knight, a peasant and a seraph,
exquisite little beings.
294
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,920
They could predict the future.
295
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,920
Yeah. They could answer any
question,
296
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,520
once they had reached
the State of Divination,
297
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,280
and they had to answer truthfully.
298
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,960
That was my favourite story, Dad.
299
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,480
Dad, are you sure that you
didn't get it from a book?
300
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,800
No, no, no.
301
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,360
I wrote it in a book. I wrote the
instructions all down in a journal.
302
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,360
But it's... It's gone.
303
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,680
I can't find it.
304
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,280
Well, I've got a lot of your things,
remember, at my house.
305
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,080
I said I'd look after them for
you when you moved in here.
306
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,920
Well, that's where it'll be, then.
And it's all written down.
307
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:14,200
OK, Dad. Dad, Dad, listen, even if
I can find it,
308
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,960
you're not allowed to practise
alchemy in the Golden Years Garden.
309
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,960
No, no. It's up to you. You're
the one who wants the answers.
310
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,200
They'll be able to tell you
where Clea is.
311
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:26,760
Oh, Dad... No, no.
312
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,560
The prophets will tell you where
she is, and you go find her
313
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,920
and bring her back.
314
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,760
I'll guide you.
That's what the bottles are for.
315
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,880
Take all the bottles, fill them with
rain water - got to be rain water.
316
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,960
You'll need some other ingredients
but the journal will take you
317
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,560
through all that. You've just got to
find the journal.
318
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,040
Come on.
319
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,720
Yeah, that's it.
320
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,440
He thinks I'm taking them out to
the car.
321
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,960
It's a long story. All right if
I leave them round the corner?
322
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,760
Yeah. All right, love, thanks.
323
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,600
He should be all right now.
324
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,720
See you tomorrow.
325
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,080
Michael!
326
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,040
All right, mate?
You're looking well.
327
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,040
Hello, Roy.
328
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,640
I went round the house earlier.
329
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,280
Yeah, no, I was here
visiting Dad.
330
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,200
I've been trying to call you.
Left a few messages.
331
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,560
Yeah, sometimes I...
I forget to check.
332
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,960
I forget to turn it on.
333
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,760
I need to speak to you, Michael.
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
334
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,640
Shall we go back to the house? No.
335
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,280
There's a cafe around the corner.
336
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,640
Pickles.
337
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,400
Do you want something?
338
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,960
Oh, erm, sausage, egg and chips,
please.
339
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,000
Who's paying? I'm skint, mate.
340
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,280
Just a cup of tea, please.
Two, thanks. No problem.
341
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,240
How are you? Are you well?
342
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,760
Skint. I just told you.
343
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,880
I'm paying for three kids while
she's sat on her fat arse
344
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,200
eating crisps.
345
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,560
Are they still down south?
In Reading, yeah.
346
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,560
How often do you get to...?
347
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,040
I don't, Michael. I'm living in
a shitty flat above a Costcutter
348
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,600
so they can't come to me.
And I'm not welcome down there,
349
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,400
so weeks, months go by
between visits.
350
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,520
Sorry.
351
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,480
Thank you. You're welcome.
352
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,240
This place is named after the dog
that found the World Cup.
353
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,280
Pickles.
354
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,000
I don't know what the connection is.
355
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,600
I don't think he was from
around here.
356
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,840
It's time to give back what's
mine, Michael.
357
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,640
What if she comes back?
358
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,840
Clea is not coming back.
What if she does?
359
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,520
Michael, they found her car on
the Severn Bridge.
360
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,280
Yes, and she wasn't in it.
361
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,480
Mate, I don't know whether I miss
her as much as you do,
362
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,880
I think about her every day.
363
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,080
She was my sister.
364
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,200
But there's nothing I could
have done.
365
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,760
And I've made my peace with that.
366
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,720
This Christmas it'll be seven years.
367
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000
We can apply for a presumption
of death.
368
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,880
I want the house back, Michael.
369
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,280
It belongs to me.
What are you going to do, move in?
370
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,480
No, I'm going to sell it.
371
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,720
Well, I'll stay on until you find
a buyer.
372
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,520
No-one's going to buy it, the state
it's in.
373
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,840
Needs to be cleared out, there might
be structural damage,
374
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,840
there might be... I've got to go.
375
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,640
For Christ's sake, Michael, I drove
past there this afternoon.
376
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,960
The guttering's hanging off,
the garden's impenetrable,
377
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,840
Christ knows what it's like inside.
378
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,800
It's time to take your head out of
the sand, mate.
379
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,000
She's not coming back!
380
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,120
Good evening, Olive, you all
right, love?
381
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,040
Hello, Michael.
382
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,480
What's that... Fertiliser?
383
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,840
No, these plants are all plastic.
Don't need watering,
384
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,080
don't need fertilising.
385
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,800
Oh, right, so what is that you were
sprinkling?
386
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,400
Slug pellets.
387
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,680
Sorry, if the flowers are plastic,
what are the slugs eating?
388
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,120
The slug pellets.
389
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:54,840
Oh, right.
390
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,600
Cheerio, then.
391
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,720
Oh, I tell you who I saw here today.
392
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,080
Yeah. Who was that?
393
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,240
Your brother-in-law, Roy.
394
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,400
He was looking for you.
395
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:10,880
ARGUING
396
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,960
Well, I'd say let the robots
take over.
397
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,880
Hiya, Michael! Olive!
You all right? Yeah.
398
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,520
Hello, Michael.
Hello, Bev.
399
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,680
Best be off, Olive.
400
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:32,960
Cheerio, then, Mike.
401
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,000
We were never married.
402
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,440
What's that, love?
403
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,480
It's just you said brother-in-law,
404
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:42,720
but Clea and I,
405
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,640
well, we were never married.
406
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,800
Cheerio!
407
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,000
THUNDER RUMBLES
408
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:26,760
# I know we're older now
409
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,320
# And lost again
410
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:37,760
# Down at the cul-de-sac
411
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,640
# You left, my friend
412
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,400
# Will you come back?
413
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,880
# Come back again... #
414
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,280
Elliot! Come in, lad.
415
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:58,440
# Will you come back?
416
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,680
# Come back again
417
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,680
# I put the kettle on
418
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,320
# The wise man's song
419
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,120
# For you
420
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,240
# I took a needle and thread
421
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,720
# To make amends with you
422
00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:40,000
# And the tape rolls on
423
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,080
# Another year gone
424
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,200
# And I await your cue
425
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,520
# I put the kettle on
426
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,200
# The wise man's song
427
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,920
# For you. #
47139
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